Realizations
by Isis cw
Summary: Complete! 1xR. This is the sequel to Manifestations, continuing the relationship between Heero and Relena, as they struggle to understand the lives they've chosen... and each other.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is the first of two sequels to "Manifestations." This is the Relena/Heero portion of the story. This story picks up directly after "Manifestations" so you should probably read that one first, so you know what's going on.

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 1

Delano leaned back against the wall in the meeting room, watching Ry and Alli play a game of virtual checkers on the table's built in screen. The two were all but oblivious to Miss Relena and Agent Yuy, as the two sat at the far end of the table, hashing through paperwork from the recent ordeal.

They had approximately five hours before their supply ship arrived at the Mars Satellite again in Earth's orbit. From there, it would be a quick trip home. With most of the paperwork being handed off to the agents, the three of them were to be given a four-day vacation before they reported for general duty again on Monday.

Delano's black bangs dripped just barely into his field of vision as he pretended interest in Ry and Alli's game. In truth he scrutinized the other couple at the table.

Ever since he had figured out Heero's past… 'exploits,' he had been concerned. For most of two weeks the man had avoided most chances at alone time with the group. He would enter their cabin late and typically leave early, basically ensuring that he and Ry would be asleep for the most part.

It could honestly be that the number of requirements for his time were that extensive, as Miss Relena hadn't been available to them much either. However, Delano had his doubts.

As it were, the three officers were left together much of the time, always near the other two, but typically always in a crowd as well. As such, there were things that had never really been raised again.

Delano, Ry, and Alli had plenty of time to themselves during the course of their stay to rehash what they knew and what they'd learned of the agent's past. But Delano had largely stayed quiet, allowing the other two to decide for themselves what to make of it.

Ry and Alli were rather oblivious to what they were faced with. Ry especially knew absolutely nothing of the Gundams or their battles other than what was popularly advertised to the people—which of course was a pack of misdirection and blatant lies. Alli had spent a small time with a colony rebel organization, but even then she had still been led along primarily by the media reports.

Delano, however, had been OZ trained as a MS pilot. He had entered into the war very late and hadn't finished with official training by the time the final battle had been waged. But during that time he had been briefed time and again on the Gundams.

There were rumors that circulated nearly every week on where they were and what they were up to. Spec sheets and information reports were handed down for any man that ever climbed into an MS. It was supposed to be a guide for how to quickly identify and report back the sighting of a Gundam.

His training group dubbed those orders the same way everyone else did: ID. Identify and Die.

The idea that no one lived to tell of the Gundams was ingrained in the soldiers, young and old alike, even when it no longer rang true.

The idea that Agent Heero Yuy of the Preventer Special Forces—his superior officer and a man seven years his junior—was a Gundam pilot was not exactly unnerving, so much as it was terrifying. If that wasn't enough to completely floor him, the man was not only well known to the Preventer Commander as being a pilot, but he was also hopelessly endeared to the pacifistic Vice Foreign Minister.

But Delano had held his tongue. Agent Yuy, first and foremost, had done nothing to him personally to deserve his distrust. Then or now. If nothing else, Delano was also a pilot and a solider… the ways of war were never pretty and he knew that there were things that every solider regretted at the end. That didn't exactly settle his nerves around the younger man but it did get him to sleep in the same room at night.

As it was, Ry had managed to bring up one point that stuck with them: Miss Relena trusted him completely and whole-heartedly. And Delano would concede to the point that Heero had looked after her. The agent would have had the authority to shove the three officers into harm's way and save his own neck during their past trial, but he hadn't. Heero had chosen to leave them in relative safety and had risked only himself when confronted with a dangerous situation.

Mr. Winner had made a comment, just before the fireball came out of the colony side that had stuck with Delano. _"Least chance of success."_ It was all that he had mumbled when Duo had asked what Heero had been thinking.

Delano wasn't sure how well the three young men knew each other. There were reference here and there that gave him a suspicion that the five pilots may not have been trained together, as he would have previously thought. But he was sure that comment revealed a great deal about Heero's typical tactics.

He vaguely watched Alli manage to take Ry's last piece off the board. The two had been far more capable of regaining their trust in Agent Yuy than Delano believed he could be. Alli had even gone so far as to be mildly thankful that the two had trusted them enough to tell them.

Delano wondered if they actually would have said something on their own if he hadn't made the first comment.

He hated to be so doubting. After all, he had spent over a month and a half with the man, respecting his authority and direction. Did he have a right to be this worried by him now? Delano, out of all of them, should be respectful of a warrior who fought for what he believed in… no matter what side he was on.

He looked over at the two again for a moment while the others started a new game in front of him. Easily one of the most lethal men in the Sphere was sitting directly across the table from one of the most peace-minded and gentle souls he could ever know.

"_He'd never hurt her."_ Ry had said that more than once during their conversations. And Delano was starting to believe it. Something had passed through the two out here. There were no major differences that he could notice, but the quiet affection that they held each other in before seemed to have been expanded on.

Relena knew him during the war. If they honestly met at her school before her father's death, then she would have known him almost from the very beginning. And that would mean that she knew what he was capable of.

Probably better than Delano did.

That was mildly comforting. Mildly. But more than mildly confusing. Shouldn't a pacifistic leader have been terrified by the war-minded soldier? She obviously knew him better than he did. …And still trusted him.

The doors opened and Agent Po stood in the doorway, holding a data pad. The room looked up at her as she picked Heero out and motioned him to come with her, casting a smile at the rest of them. He seemed to be expecting the interruption and handed over a stack of sheets to Relena before wordlessly rising and following her out.

The door slid shut again, and Relena turned back to her work. Ry and Alli shrugged at each other before he muttered, "The guy's not much of conversationalist, is he?"

The three heard Relena chuckle to herself, not bothering to look up.

Yes, Miss Relena obviously knew him quite well. In fact, she may know a few things that Delano had decided that he was not going to ask Heero himself about….

"Miss Relena?" She pushed a stack of papers away from her and looked up at him. He met her eyes a moment, feeling slightly ashamed of what he was about to do. "May I ask you a question?"

Relena blinked at him, but then seemed to understand what sort of 'question' he referred to. Leaning back in her seat, she left her work. "Of course."

Delano left his place at the far wall and the other two watched him curiously as he paced over closer to her. "Miss Relena, I'll admit to you that I'm still… a bit uncomfortable with the situation."

Relena looked up at him, nodding slightly with a touch of worry entering her eyes. "I think I can understand that."

He crossed his arms over his chest, still standing beside the table. "You've known him since the war started?"

She nodded patiently, "Since he arrived on Earth anyway."

Delano sucked in a breath before asking the one thing that he knew Heero would never answer. "Do you know the number distinctions that the Alliance gave to the Gundams?"

He watched Relena swallow, and he figured out that she knew what he was talking about.

"Miss Relena," he started again. "Do you know which pilot he was?"

She lost his focus for a moment as she mulled over the question. From behind him, Ry and Alli shifted. "What distinctions?" Ry finally asked.

Delano turned back towards him. "When they were first sighted, the Alliance gave each of the five Gundams a number to represent them, since they had no other way of identifying the new type of suits." Turning back down to her, he tried to get her started. "I know that Duo Maxwell was the pilot of 02. I watched his suit get blown to bits on a colony vid-screen when I was on leave from training."

Relena looked up and blinked at him, possibly not realizing he knew this much.

"I'm taking a guess that Mr. Winner is pilot 04. The crew that he had with him would easily fit the description of a secondary group of soldiers who tended to back him up. Am I right?"

Relena nodded quietly. "The Maguanac Corp."

"You mean the guys with the hats?" Ry asked.

Relena smiled at the comment and then folded her hands and laid them on the table. "Yes. Quatre and his group were part of the forces that tried to protect me when OZ attempted to take over the Sanc Kingdom."

"Wait—I thought OZ rescued you," Alli added.

Relena shook her head sadly. "No, that was Duke Dermail's way of rallying the people to his side again after I surrendered." She forced a smile for them again. "Quatre and Heero did their best to defend the ideal of Total Pacifism… even if they may not have believed it entirely themselves."

She gave them a quick glance and then looked back up at Delano. He simply waited, hoping she would allow him the last piece of the puzzle.

She closed her eyes a moment and then reopened them. "01."

And Delano's heart stopped in his chest. That wasn't possible….

"And that means what exactly?" Alli asked.

"01 was destroyed," Delano whispered to her. "That pilot died." That was no secret, everyone knew it. It was the only 'victory' that OZ seemed to be able to get over them. The Gundam itself may have been rebuilt, but the pilot had died in the self-destruct….

Relena looked back down at her folded hands. "The pilot _disappeared_," she corrected. "That was when I started researching the situation. With Sanc's resources I managed to get all the information that I could on the Gundams, mostly from the OZ sources. But none of them exactly counted on Heero."

Delano swallowed. "And afterwards?" he asked. "01 was finally put out of commission. You're telling me that he was the one that took over Wing ZERO?"

Relena looked up at him again, obviously surprised that he knew this much. She nodded to him and Delano had to pull out a chair and sit down next to her. He had expected 03, possibly 05… but not the pilot of ZERO.

"Wait—what?"

"Isn't ZERO the one that blasted the last chunk of _Libra_ to kingdom-come?" Alli asked, confused.

Relena stared at her hands again. "Yes."

The room turned deathly quiet for a few beats until Delano finally found his voice again. "ZERO was also the one that put three shots into the Presidential safe house you were standing in less than four months ago," he stated in a quiet monotone.

Relena didn't flinch. "Yes."

This time no one moved to break the silence, and it continued as all three kept their eyes glued onto Relena's passive form. Finally she seemed to realize the oppressive silence and looked up at the group.

"He could have killed you," Ry whispered to her.

Relena still didn't flinch. "He could have. But he didn't." She gave them each a look in turn. "If there is anything that I can impress upon you, it's that there is a very large difference between what Heero could do, and what he does." She swallowed hard and focused back on her laced fingers. "I should never have told you this," she whispered. "I don't want any reason for you fear him or his intentions."

That was too late in coming. Delano had suddenly lost all faith in the idea that Heero, "would never hurt her," or that he was entirely all that stable.

"But… he could have killed you," Ry repeated, disbelievingly.

Relena looked back at him, her expression soft. "Do you remember when I told you that I trusted him completely? I told you that I trusted him with much more than my life." The group started, but Relena gazed at each of them in turn. "Heero knows me better than anyone else ever has. And he knew that I would have easily given my life to prevent a military take over."

"He knew you were there though, right?" Alli asked quietly.

She nodded. "Yes. I don't know if I was any influence on why that third shot missed, but I do know that if Heero wanted that place in a pile of ash, it would be."

"What do you mean 'missed'?" he asked.

She smiled lightly. "_Missed_. I was standing in the command center. I heard the soldiers state that his first two shots were so precise that the shields were collapsing. They said that one more direct hit and it would be over. That third shot was close, but not enough to completely blow the whole shelter."

"The ZERO was half destroyed by that time—how can you be sure that he didn't just miscalculate," he accused.

Relena gave him a slightly surprised expression, and then settled back into that patient look. "Because Heero never miscalculates," she stated with a nearly reverent tone. "You've said it yourselves; he was the one that hit a shot to blow up that last block of the _Libra_. A shot that only a tiny handful of us actually believed could be hit. …With or without a half destroyed suit."

Once again the room plunged into quiet reflection, and Relena let them think on it. She waited patiently for any other question or comment. It seemed like an eternity ticked by before Delano felt bad enough for his actions to bring the words up. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Relena turned to him, but he didn't meet her eyes. Instead, she placed a hand on his arm. "I know this a lot to try to take in. I'm sure the images you have of all of them are not good. But… well, you've been around three of them now. Honestly, I want you each to take a look at their actions in the past two weeks before you try remembering back to what you think might have happened during the war."

Delano finally met her eyes as she turned back to him.

"Believe in him."

* * *

"You shouldn't have told them."

"I realize that now."

Heero wasn't angry…. Alright, he was angry—but not at Relena. He should have known to warn her about giving out their specific identities. Delano must have known that he wouldn't have told him, and so he'd approached Relena instead.

Taking a glance at the door to the cockpit in the small space plane, he forced down the reaction. He wouldn't have been any different if the situations were reversed.

That didn't help the gnawing concern though. The three had seemed rather… _accepting_ of the information. Of course, that was before they figured out that he'd been up to his old tactics of trying to kill her not that long ago.

He bit down the sigh, shaking out the old guilt, and tried to have a little faith in Relena's reasoning skills. If she'd confided the information to them, that also meant that she'd tried to talk them out of thinking….

Out of thinking that he was a homicidal weapon of mass-destruction.

He closed his eyes on that description and begged his own brain not to go back to those thoughts.

"I'm sorry," came the whisper from beside him and Heero looked over at her.

Relena sat beside him in the otherwise empty cabin, clad in the white skirt and the yellow sweater that she had started this trip in. Her eyes were closed, and her hands were folded in her lap, a nervous habit of hers when they were shaking.

Heero didn't want her to blame herself, but he wasn't exactly sure what to say to her. Instead he found himself staring at her folded hands in her lap, watching closely enough that he began to make out the slight tremble.

That finally got him to blink and look back to her face. She hadn't moved. Really, she hadn't moved since she told him what happened today after he left with Sally. She didn't need any guilt on her, not with the amount of work and worry she had waiting for her once they landed And certainly not over him.

Reaching over he brushed the hair away from her face, and she looked up at him at his touch. "It's alright." The sad worry in her eyes eased a little as she moved into his touch farther.

Over him. It just didn't seem right to have her worried over him.

"Relena…." He had no idea what he wanted to say, but she locked her eyes with his and he faltered. Instead he lightly caressed her cheek, reminding himself firmly that no matter what, she accepted him for something more than a weapon.

* * *

It was a near deafening silence as the group gathered their effects and moved off the shuttle towards the Preventer spaceport operations building once again. If their timing hadn't been completely off before, it was now that they landed. The sun was dipping low on the horizon, the reddish cast hanging like a fog around the area.

Checking through the security gate, they all made their way to the front doors. Heero carried his and Relena's bag slung over one shoulder as they made their way to the front, the security detail in the building giving them a wide berth.

It wasn't until the glass doors came into view that Relena broke the silence. She stopped, staring at the doors in front of her and muttered, "Not now."

The rest of the group looked up to see a throng of media reporters and camera crews four rows deep, ready to pounce the second she left the safety of the controlled environment. She was in no shape to take questions, and she already had a media event penciled in for tomorrow morning.

Taking a quick look from the doors to her, he watched her resign herself and straighten her shoulders again. No. She'd been through enough already.

Turning back around he found Delano and handed over the two bags he was carrying. "Bring the car around, we'll wait for you." Turning back to her he found her eyes. "There's no reason you have to talk to them now."

Relena nodded, and gave them a sigh. "That'd be nice."

Delano gave them a nod before taking off for the side door nearest the parking area at a jog. Relena put a hand to the back of her neck and rubbed at it absently. Heero ignored the weight of the other two's eyes and quietly slipped his jacket off. Placing it around her, he left his hands on her shoulders.

She turned a grateful smile back to him before she moved her hand from her neck to cover one of his, squeezing it tightly. The group watched the front doors and waited for the black car to make its way through the crowd and into a parked position.

Turning to look up at Ry, he nodded. "Make some room."

The other blinked and then nodded, starting off first and taking point in their formation. Alli stepped up to Relena's other side, giving her a quick pat before the three started off behind Ry. Heero let her go, but kept a hand at the small of her back, guiding her through the doors, close enough to be a shield. They pushed through the crowd, the questions flying in from all sides. Relena returned a tired smile, but tried to yell out that she would have comments for them tomorrow.

Always the politician, he mused. Getting her to the car, he opened the back door for her, sliding her into the middle of the seat. He slipped in beside her, Alli taking the passenger seat, and Ry slid around the other side.

Clearing the parking lot was an effort in itself, but Relena just sighed and slumped down in her seat, still holding his jacket around her. "Honestly, I have to thank you all for this. I'm really sorry that I got you all stuck in this mess to begin with."

Ry patted her shoulder. "Nah, what else are we good for?"

Alli chuckled from the front, turning to look back at her. "Really. Think how boring our lives would be without you."

Relena genuinely laughed at them as they continued back to the Preventer's headquarters. "Well, I certainly don't get bored often," she muttered.

Ry yawned and then leaned in, laying his head on top of hers for a pillow. Heero vaguely stared out the window at the passing district.

The car from house command was already waiting for them by the time they pulled up in front of the Preventer building. Heero switched Relena to the other car quickly, getting his jacket back along with a last look from her before he closed her door. He watched the car drive away before he pulled his badge off the pocket, not bothering to put it back on.

Walking through the security check, they were waved through to gather whatever they needed before they each went their separate ways home. Heero slid his badge through the check gate, a sinking feeling making him wonder how long he'd be able to keep the cushy lifestyle of a security clearance.

Mentally he berated himself for dwelling on it. Heading for the stairs up to his office, he let the others head towards the common areas and their individual lockers to gather their things. It would be up to them. He'd handed them his fate.

He made it halfway up the first floor's open stairway before Delano called up to him from the hallway they stood in below. Turning over the rail he met the man's eyes. "We're back here Monday morning, correct?"

"Hn," he nodded to him.

Delano nodded. "Have a good evening, Sir," he stated quietly before turning and walking off down the hall. The other two took a look and then likewise said the same before following after.

Blinking, Heero forced himself to spit out, "You too," after them. Continuing up the stairs and then into the stairwell towards the top floor, he realized that the group had just given him a peace offering….

Somehow, he didn't figure that he'd earned that all on his own.

* * *

"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Chapter edited by: Miss Mooney


	2. Chapter 2

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 2

Heero felt a bit out of place, realizing the amount of attention he was drawing as he entered Preventers Headquarters. He'd slowly gotten used to the idea of coming to work at the same time and the same place every day. He'd even forced himself to keep typical hours while he was here, even though he was honestly getting tired of finding something else to do in the evenings.

But as he slipped through the security checkpoint and mounted the first floor's stairway, he casually took inventory of the number of officers giving him an odd look-over.

He was attired in full dress uniform—which he'd had to order earlier this week. The jacket was fitted instead of the typical bomber style, and he wore the traditional button-down and tie underneath. He honestly didn't think he looked out of place….

Entering the stairwell, he was silently thankful that most people took the elevators. He finally ended up in his office, only to find it already occupied by his three officers. A cold chill went down his back as he entered, forcing himself to be casual.

Alli sat on top of his desk, her legs crossed, and looked up to see him enter, while the other two stood with their backs turned to him. Giving him the same odd look, she whistled comically, before smirking. "Good thing Miss Relena never really ran for the Presidency, because she'd be in trouble trying to pin a medal on you today." Heero's pace faltered, as he came around the side of his desk. "…Sir," she added, grimacing slightly and standing to her feet.

Heero shook it off and made it around to his side of the desk. "I don't remember calling a meeting for today," he stated instead, having no clue what she was talking about… and not daring to ask.

"We're wanting to put something together," Ry started, giving Alli an irritated expression until she sheepishly turned away.

Heero blinked and looked over the group. They had been back for a couple weeks, and the three of them had shown no signs of revealing anything about his past. A fact that he was still coming to terms with. They just knew too much for his liking. But they hadn't been out together on an official mission since they returned from Mars. Relena's appointments had been completely scratched, and her typical tour of duty wouldn't begin again until the emergency sessions over the new Preventers plans were completed.

And they weren't going all that smoothly. So, the group was officially grounded. A fact that was getting all of them a bit restless, he assumed.

Alli finally cleared her throat for something else to do under Ry's annoyed eye, and Delano sighed, rolling his eyes at both of them. Turning back to him, he took the initiative. "Sir, we would like to be able to do something for Miss Relena's birthday next week."

Heero blinked. He of course knew that her birthday was next week. For whatever reason, the date was burned into his memory so far that it would never leave. He'd managed to take up a couple bored nights with figuring out a present for her this year… which was much harder than it had been the first time.

"With the workload she's been under the past few weeks, we would like to be able to get her out of the house, do something nice," Alli added.

"We could keep risks to a minimum, avoid a lot of people, all that stuff," Ry mumbled.

Heero had no idea what to say to them. "What are you planning?" Without a specific plan of action, he couldn't approve or disapprove the situation.

Alli shrugged. "We don't know yet. We're just seeing if it's possible to get her away from house command without an itinerary… or a tank," she muttered.

Away from Lt. Jameson is what she meant, and Heero knew it. The man was not all that happy with the developments that the team had taken under Heero, and he had used several opportunities to say as much.

Heero was slowly beginning to enjoy his rank. He nodded instead to the three of them, "It can be arranged."

The three looked visually happier to hear that.

"All protocols are going to have to be met, and around the Capital that will be difficult. She'll be spotted much easier there."

They nodded. "We'll put together an accurate risk assessment," Delano stated, his professionalism coming back.

"Yeah," Alli added and then looked at him pointedly. "You wouldn't happen to have any good ideas, would you?"

Heero returned her look without figuring out why she thought he'd know what Relena would like. He shook his head, "You may as well ask her. With her workload, you'll need her permission first."

"Guess that leaves out the surprise party," Ry mumbled.

"Miss Relena doesn't seem like the 'surprise' type of person," Alli mumbled.

Ry chuckled, "I wonder what she'd do."

Heero wondered how long it was going to take for them to get out of his office.

The two started in on something again and Delano sighed, leaning against this desk to wait for the two. Heero pulled out his desk chair and logged in to his station to check his assignments.

A knock on the open door stilled Ry and Alli after several minutes of arguing about Relena's favorite type of cake. Heero looked up between them to find Sally and Wufei entering, both in dress uniforms as well.

"Are we interrupting?" Sally asked.

He shook his head. "They were just leaving," he muttered.

Ry and Alli looked at him and then both turned away a bit sheepishly, clearing over to the side of the room.

Wufei added a paper to his desk, giving the group one of his customary appraisals. "Half an hour beforehand, set up should be typical."

Heero looked over the paper, scrutinizing the arrangement for the auditorium. The President had officially decided to make a formal thank you to the group that had protected him during the last attempt on his life. Commander Une had been good enough to them to force the President to do it off camera, considering they were technically field agents and didn't need their identities advertised.

He wasn't sure the President bought it, but the man knew no different. Still, it was going to be a media event, which didn't settle well with him. But the hall would be filled with mainly diplomats and officials….

He was beginning to hate politics.

"Half an hour," Sally mumbled, looking at her watch. "If we take the tunnels we can avoid the outside press."

Wufei snorted. "Politics," he muttered, turning away and walking back out of his office. The two did have their common traits.

Sally looked after him with the patient smile she typically wore with him and shook her head. "You guys are going to have to get used to this." But she shrugged and flashed Heero a smile before turning and following her partner, her dress shoes clicking softly. Heero vaguely noted that this was the first time he'd seen her in her uniform's skirt, and figured she didn't like the attention any better than they did.

Heero turned back to the other three who were standing quietly by the windows, watching the two leave as well.

And from the look in Delano's eyes, Heero knew that at least he had figured it out. He didn't think it would take long before he profiled Wufei as well. They were around here too often to not notice, and Wufei had developed the same type of reputation that Heero had for "exemplary" conduct.

Heero sat quietly and waited until the three turned to look over at him. Wufei would _not_ be pleased to know that the three had figured out their pasts, and Heero may have to neglect to mention it to him… if Sally hadn't already.

Delano swallowed tightly and looked back at the door and then at him again before walking over and closing it tightly.

* * *

The first thing that Heero noticed as they were called out on stage is that there were too many high politicians gathered in one place. Any self-respecting terrorist would love to get a shot into this auditorium right now. The second thing he noticed was that the seat in the second row towards the end—next to the Minister of Foreign Affairs—was vacant. 

Relena had been slated to be here for this. Taking a casual look over the crowd as the President introduced them and rambled on with his speech, he found his three officers seated near the back of the room… alone. They were supposed to be on escort duty for her today, which included this presentation.

But with the pressures on her these past weeks, any number of things could have prevented her from having the time to sit through this. Shaking it off, Heero squished down the little worry that nagged at him, and attempted to focus on the comments the President was giving to their group.

Beside him stood two other officers, the centurion and one of the stage crew, the two individuals that had bodily blocked the President from the line of fire, had the weapon gone off. On the other side from them stood Wufei and Sally and two other officers, the lead coordinators for the speech that day.

…He wondered if anyone else was vaguely wishing that he'd just let Wufei shoot the suspect instead.

Granted, the man wouldn't have lived through it, and Heero had known that then as much as now—which was why he'd chosen the response that he had. That didn't stop him from berating himself more than once for the chance he'd taken. If he would have miscalculated, and if the other two officers had been any slower… he'd be on trial for negligence for "the shooting of the President" right now instead.

The irony of politics.

The President called for the first of the two officers beside him and the man approached the podium. The officer stood proudly at ease, his hands behind his back, as instructed, as the President quickly pinned the metal on his lapel, smiling as he then shook his hand. The second officer did the same when called, smiling happily. A small fan club stood to clap from the side of the hall. Heero figured it was family, considering the two young children decked out in their best for the event.

"…the Presidential Medal of Valor, and my personal debt of gratitude," he added to the collective group with a smile. "Special Agent, Heero Yuy."

Heero swallowed, honestly feeling… like a fake. But dutifully, he approached the podium and stood passively by while the man happily pinned the thing to his chest. He had no idea how to appear gracious of the honor, and so he solidly returned the older man's handshake and nodded when the politician mumbled a personal thank you to him.

He had no desire for the thing, and certainly didn't want the attention that it caused. He vaguely counted fourteen flashes from around the room and attempted not to grimace at the prospects of the media coverage. Une had promised that it would be kept light, just like the release of his name had been after the initial attack.

He was mildly thankful that no one really cared who saved the President, just as long as the President himself was back in the spotlight. He would hopefully be a tiny footnote in all of this.

He moved back to his original position as the crowd politely applauded. Turning to face forward again he noted, with an odd sense of humor, that he also had a small cheering squad. His three subordinates had apparently decided that he deserved a standing ovation from the back of the hall. He took that as a good sign from the three of them.

Involuntarily his eyes drifted to the second row and the empty chair near the side.

The coordinators were then called to step forward for personal recognition. Heero noticed Wufei's hands fidget impatiently behind his back as the four were recognized. And he fought down the smirk that threatened him when Sally—_very_ casually—shifted enough to bump into his side, sufficiently stopping the movement.

Sally was right; the two of them should probably learn to take this sort of thing better. But hopefully there would be no need in forcing it. Looking out at the faces in the crowd, he did realize that he was going to have to learn acceptable polite behavior… whether he wanted to or not.

He'd thought of it from time to time as Relena easily blended in and out of her social engagements. He'd fought for the correct word or action more than once in front of her constituents since he'd been stationed with her. He honestly didn't care that he would never make a good politician, but he was slowly determining to make himself an admirable escort….

It was just going to take a little work.

As the President finished, the small crowd assembled rose to their feet. The applause was more than audible as the acoustics in the old hall picked up their enthusiasm.

Alright, so it may take him a lot of work. …He was used to difficult training.

* * *

Relena hated trying not to think about things. 

Currently, she sat at her desk, her vid-phone monitor displaying four different representatives, all of who were tripping over themselves to get a word in edge-wise. The conference line was supposed to have been a quick discussion of the proposal sitting on each of their desks. It should have been a ten-minute call, calmly giving each the chance to state simply a 'yes' or 'no' to the document as currently written.

An hour and a half later, they would still not shut up—she meant—they would not come to a decision to chair the proposal until she could make the suggested revisions. Instead, they kept arguing over the same topics and statements, for some reason believing this to be the best time to hash out their differences.

A time that she was supposed to be sitting in a Presidential award ceremony for her… security commander. And she couldn't hang up. She had initiated the call and therefore, if she disconnected the other four would be forced to—she meant—the other four would be disconnected as well.

Ry, Alli and Delano had come to her office to collect her—forty-five minutes after the call was made—and escort her to the auditorium. Ten minutes later, after trying five times to excuse herself, and not succeeding, she had motioned for them to go on without her. They had seemed rather disappointed, but they had left without comment.

And she was trying not to think about the ceremony, or about how she was supposed to be there, or about how Heero knew she was supposed to be there, or even about the fact that she wanted to be there, or about the fact that the proposal they were debating on her screen was already half re-written and would be ten more times before they got their next copies anyway!

She hated trying not to think about things.

Underneath her desk, where the vid-phone wouldn't pick it up, her foot twitched back and forth in pure irritation. Her hands, clasped in her lap, absently rubbed together with impatience… and her face showed no signs of annoyance.

_I'm sorry, Heero,_ she inwardly sighed, stealing a look at the clock again for the fiftieth time.

He didn't want the medal anyway. She knew it, the other three should know it, and half the Preventers force had probably figured it out. He didn't care about the award, although he'd earned it, whether he believed it or not. He certainly didn't want the attention and the fuss made over it.

But that didn't make her feel better. She wanted to be there.

He had always been the one in the shadows, standing just outside the limelight that she was typically thrust into. He was the one to stand guard, to watch from afar, and she was the one with the recognition. He still stood by her.

In most of two weeks, they hadn't had the chance to say a word to each other. She would catch glimpses of him and the others as they filtered around with the other security forces as the special sessions were called to hash through the new Preventers placements on Mars. She had no reason to call on them, and they had no need to contact her.

The closest she'd been to them since they landed was when the three had entered her office this morning to be her escorts…. It had gotten hard a couple times, seated in the council rooms and on the floor of the congressional branch, never more than thirty feet away from them. But from the side and the shadows, they were there for her. But she was there for the workers on Mars.

This time it got to be reversed. And although she wouldn't technically be there to protect him the way he was for her, she wanted to be there for him nonetheless.

…Just in case the applause got to him, the way the faces in the crowd could get to her every now and again. Especially the first few times she experienced it.

Alright, she was being paranoid that Heero would even be remotely fazed by the attention. And she knew very well by now that he wouldn't show any hint of discomfort or annoyance. Maybe she just wanted to be a friendly face for him….

Vaguely she registered that one of the four on the line was asking her a question, and she mindlessly answered it. She should be paying them more attention. This was her job, and her life. This was what Heero spent his time protecting her for anyway….

Well, that was a morbid thought.

_Focus. He'd be ashamed of me for sitting here whining to myself over this when there are matters to attend to._

Yes, it was a typical pep talk… that never really worked. But she swallowed and resolved herself to listening again. She would congratulate him later.

…And he would blink at her with that adorably befuddled expression that he got when he wasn't sure what to make of her.

Relena immediately reached for her teacup and pretended to take a drink from the empty thing to keep the representatives from seeing her hold back the grin.

* * *

Heero was finally back to his desk, alone. Sally had politely taken the brunt of their dealings with the after-ceremony pleasantries, which was more than a relief considering neither he, nor Wufei, had any concept of what to do. The two former pilots had unconsciously ended up back to back in the collection of congratulatory well-wishers as if they were being physically threatened by the handshakes. 

He was starting to regret ever beginning to use that gesture….

However, Sally had come to their rescue, meticulously steering individuals in any other direction and eventually scooting them far enough to the back of the stage area that she could make a final excuse for their group to get back to work.

Heero stood again and removed his jacket, the medal still pinned there for lack of anything else to do with it. Slinging it over the back of his chair, he sat down again.

Absently he thought back to Mars, and some of the collective works that Relena, Quatre and Dorothy had delved into. At some point, in some discussion he didn't remember, Quatre had leaned back to him as the two watched the girls argue over something, and simply mumbled, "Where would we be without the girls?"

He'd assumed at the time that he was being sarcastic, but it wasn't the first comment of that nature that Quatre had made to him. And the more he became acquainted with Sally and Relena, the more he wondered how honest he should be with that question.

"The girls," he was quickly noting, were the ones that made up the strongest tie lines in the net that kept the former pilots out of the coals. They were the first to take charge of their secrets and keep them out of the public line of fire. And they were the first line of defense to each of them now.

He supposed he should be thankful that Sally seemed to have adopted him as well as Wufei.

Heero heard the footsteps in the hallway and looked up in time to see his group enter… with Relena in the lead. He blinked as the other three made their way in as well, happily looking guilty.

"Don't worry, I conned them into this," Relena mumbled as she entered, her smile completely undaunted. She stepped up in front of his desk, and he rose from behind it. Folding her hands in front of her, her expression slipped to a more apologetic look. "I'm sorry I missed the ceremony."

He easily shook it off, biting back his surprise at her appearance.

"Yeah, congrats again," Alli mumbled as she began vaguely walking around the room with the other three. Ry was quietly tagging along, and all three were finding his walls very interesting.

Heero scrutinized their movements until he turned back to give Relena a questioning look… only to find her admiring the framed certificate that he had ended up with this morning as well. He had absently laid it on his desk, leaving it for the time being. Holding the thing, she twirled around and began the same search of his vacant walls. He watched until she turned back and raised an eyebrow, "They warned me that you weren't big on décor."

His dumbfounded expression must have come across more than he expected because she began giggling at him.

"Would you two pick a spot already?" Ry mumbled, and Heero noted a small hammer in his hand.

Alli paced over to Relena's side and crossed her arms, scrutinizing the two bare walls that weren't glass. "West?"

Relena looked over both areas again and the nodded. "West."

Heero stood passively by as the two then began holding the frame up against his office's side wall, positioning it here and there and then stepping back to check to see if it was centered. After ten or fifteen adjustments the two finally waved Ry over, and then waved Delano back to check their calculations again.

Obediently the other man moved over to the windows and gave them left/right instructions. Heero ended up leaning against his desk, wondering why exactly they were going through the bother of hanging the thing. What was he supposed to do with it?

Alli finally shook a nail out of a little box and then positioned it exactly, then carefully let Ry take it and pound the thing into the sheetrock. The two girls then fiddled with the frame on the nail until it was possibly straighter than the walls themselves. The entire group of them stood back to admire their work and Relena happily nodded between them.

He was going to have to re-think that whole net analogy.

* * *

"Friends broaden our horizons. They serve as new models with whom we can identify. They allow us to be ourselves—and accept us that way." - Judith Viorst 

Chapter Edited by: Miss Moony.


	3. Chapter 3

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 3

"Is it just me, or is this odd?" Ry asked as the group pulled up in front of the doors of Relena's estate.

Alli shrugged from the back seat, opening her door and getting out. "They must have a reason for meeting here."

"Yeah. Maybe if we're good we can talk to Relena while we're here," Ry added, stepping up to the doors. Pausing he looked at the white double-doors. "Um… do we actually knock?"

Delano rolled his eyes and stepped around him and opened the thing himself, walking in ahead of them. "They've had us monitored since we approached the gate."

The other two followed suit as he led them in and then up the main stairway to Lt. Jameson's office. The three had been requested to come for a meeting after their daily training assignments. There was no word on why exactly, just the message to attend.

Vaguely, Delano wondered if this was a meeting that Miss Relena had called for, since she should typically be home during these hours. But entering the office, Lt. Jameson greeted them alone, and waved them in.

Gathering another couple chairs from the observation room next door, he added them to the room, closing the door between them and the other two officers in the glass walled room. "Please have a seat," he instructed.

Delano immediately felt his gut twist. Only three chairs. That meant that Agent Yuy wasn't coming… or wasn't invited. And with Miss Relena nowhere in sight, he really didn't like the looks of this.

Delano casually sat down as instructed. "Is Agent Yuy not joining us, Sir?" he asked before jumping to conclusions.

The large, red-mustached man walked around to the other side of his desk and took a seat. "No, no need."

Lt. Dave Jameson was still an officer with an assignment in the Vice Minister's security, and he still outranked them. However he was not technically their commanding officer any longer. As such, any official meeting should have included Heero, or more specifically, should have been instigated by Heero as the highest-ranking officer.

"I wanted the chance to talk with you about the Mars trip," he started, adding his hands on top of his desk.

Delano held back the flinch.

"I wanted to say that you did a great job of protecting Miss Relena during all that." He smiled at them, "I knew I had a good team."

The others chuckled and nodded. "It wasn't easy," Ry mumbled.

"I'm sure it wasn't," he nodded. "We never had her in such a… situations before."

The others nodded.

Raising a hand, he fiddled at smoothing his mustache. "I was terribly worried to hear that she had been allowed to go on the supply ship to start with."

"There was no stopping her, Sir," Alli chuckled to herself. Delano gave her a dark glance, but she didn't noticed it.

Jameson also glanced at her. "That's odd. I wouldn't figure Agent Yuy to be the lenient type."

Alli blinked. "Never," she agreed.

Jameson scowled at her. "Then why let her get onboard?"

"We received the OK from Commander Une for her to accompany the ship," Delano added hurriedly before the others could jump in.

The Lieutenant turned a bit to look at him. "Une?"

"Yes, Sir. Agent Po contacted her about Miss Relena's request to go along." Anything to leave Heero out of this….

He raised an eyebrow. "Agent Po did? Where was Yuy?"

"With Miss Relena, of course," he added, trying for all he was worth to appear calm and casual. "Agent Po was the lead on the relief mission, so it was her responsibility to organize us." He paused, taking the chance. "Do you not have access to our reports on the mission, Sir?"

There was a telltale twitch in the man's jaw. "Yes, yes," he waved it off. "But reports never give you the real picture," he muttered.

He turned his chair away from them a little and glanced over his shoulder out the window for just a moment. Delano took the chance to give the other two a very pointed look as they glanced at him with confused expressions.

"I'm worried…" the other man started, not turning back to them. "I don't think it was wise to put Miss Relena in that situation."

The other three stayed quiet. Casting the other two a look, Delano noted that they were both purposefully holding their tongues.

Sucking in a deep breath, Jameson turned back to them. "If I was still leading the team, it would not have happened."

Again he was met with silence until Delano finally took the opportunity. "Miss Relena was instrumental in helping to rebuild the crews' infrastructure. I doubt that they would have been able to do it so easily if…" he tapered off as the older man held up a hand.

"She was put into a confined space with limited protection among explosives, weapons, and a collection of ex-convicts." He looked at each of them pointedly. "There were three other ships that left after the terrorists were caught that she could have been on instead, if she _needed_ to be there."

Again he was met with silence.

Leaning back, he smoothed the mustache again. "Why was she on the first ship to go?" None of them moved to answer him. Seeing that they weren't forthcoming, he pointedly found Alli's eyes. "Honestly, why was she on that ship?"

Going for emotions. He wanted Alli to slip and spit out whatever he wanted to hear.

"Miss Relena felt it was her duty to be there for the workers," Delano answered instead. "We had no way of knowing there was anything more than an innocent accident when we left."

The Lieutenant eyed him again, casting him an odd look as though he was trying to determine something. Probably because he was talking so much. He wasn't known to be the outgoing type. Dang it, the others had to catch on….

"Is there something wrong, Sir?" Ry bluntly asked. Well, they got it at least. Delano resisted the temptation to smack him.

Jameson shifted his focus to the center where Ry sat. Quietly, he eyed each of them. Sighing, he leaned forward on the desk, fidgeting in his seat. "I am very worried over Miss Relena's safety under Agent Yuy."

"Why is that, Sir?" Alli asked before the others could.

He paused again before shaking his head. "I don't think the kid has the good sense to keep himself out of trouble, let alone someone else."

If that wasn't the understatement of the century….

"I want your honest opinions. Was it really Miss Relena's idea to be on that ship?"

"Of course, Sir," Delano answered automatically.

Jameson nodded to him, but then looked pointedly at Ry as the next in line, waiting for an individual answer.

Ry stalled, and Delano mentally cursed. Ry had had the largest problem with Relena going, and he had stated more than once that he believed Heero was largely responsible for why she went at all. If he opened up the argument that Heero had convinced everyone to allow her to go… he didn't know what exactly Jameson was going to do, but it would bring their relationship into question.

"I don't believe that Agent Yuy would do anything against Miss Relena's wishes," he answered.

Jameson's eyes narrowed just slightly. "And her wishes were to get on the ship?"

Ry gazed back at him. "I didn't hear the conversation. I just know that Relena wanted to go."

"That's right," Alli added, drawing the attention her way. "We were informed of our orders after Agents Yuy and Po received permission for her. But I know Miss Relena felt it was absolutely necessary to be on the first ship out."

Delano finally breathed again, swallowing down the panic that crept in. These questions were being geared towards a "dereliction in duty" or a "conflict of interest" case. If Jameson had happened across Heero's past….

No, if Jameson knew that three of the former Gundam pilots had ended up on Mars, he wouldn't be sitting here grilling them for minor details. He'd be in Une's office… or at the newspapers.

"Sir, what is this really about?" Ry asked. Did that man ever think before he opened his mouth?

Jameson finally cracked a smirk, raising one corner of the mustache. "How well have you grown to trust this kid, Noland?" he asked point-blank.

Delano and Alli both turned to watch Ry blink at the Lieutenant a second before shrugging. "Completely, Sir."

* * *

Relena happily wandered around the main floor, chatting with Marie for a while and helping to put away a few groceries. She was killing time, waiting for Lt. Dave's meeting with the group to be over. She wanted the chance to ask them to stay for a little while, just to chat, since they were officially off duty.

It had been too long since she'd gotten to just talk with them. And she was still a little worried over the three officers, with regards to Heero. She wanted the chance to sit them all down just for a friendly get-together. The most time she'd squeezed in with them was last week when she conned the three into taking her to Heero's office so that she could at least ensure that his award didn't end up crumpled in a desk drawer somewhere.

And she still hadn't had the pleasure of hearing him comment on the little plant that she had sent to him.

After a few minutes in that office, with nothing but bare, white walls—albeit with a nice view—she'd decided to take a few things into her own hands. Calling a local floral shop, she'd requested a potted plant that would require next to nothing to take care of. When the florist suggested one that you, "…just put in a sunny spot and water once a week," she'd laughed, and told her to please put that on the card. Along with that she'd added, _Something not "standard issue" for you. - Relena._

She was beginning to see that she could very easily get herself into trouble if she tried "reintegrating" him to normal society. However, a few little things here and there would do him some good. Besides, she'd restrained herself from having them write that the plant would do better if he talked to it….

Relena tried to hold back the giggle, but failed miserably. And when Marie turned to give her an odd look, she just shook her head and continued adding the cans to the cupboard. The poor cook probably thought she'd lost it.

And maybe she had. All of her work with the Preventers protocols for a Mars regiment were finally on paper, and should be signed for by next week. Her workload that she'd been two weeks behind on was caught up as much as could be expected. She was finally planning out her next trips to the Colonies, and if she was really, really good, she might get a weekend to visit with her mother.

She figured she had a right to be giddy.

Finishing her grocery chores, she sat down at the kitchen's island counter to wait. Lt. Dave had informed her they would be coming, and he said that he would tell the group that she wanted to talk with them before they left again.

The two women chatted quietly for a while before footsteps sounded on the stairway on the other side of the wall from them. Smiling to Marie again, Relena hopped up and rounded out into the main foyer to the foot of the stairs.

Her three officers quietly met her there, seeming rather… somber.

Relena blinked, eyeing over the group. None of them seemed to be in the best spirits although Ry gave her a crooked smile as she made her way over. "Good evening," she greeted. Coming up to them they greeted her back. Waiting a moment she then turned back to check the stairway which was still empty. "Are they not quite through?" she asked, fishing for how long Heero would be.

The three blinked at her before Del answered. "We're finished. Agent Yuy isn't with us."

Relena tried to restrain herself from showing that her heart froze in her chest. "Oh. I wasn't aware of that," she stated simply. Lacing her fingers behind her back she gave them the best smile that she could. "Well, I was actually just wondering if I could bribe you for some company while you were here."

"Anything for the birthday girl," Alli commented, stepping over and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "We have a few plans to make with you for this week too."

Relena nodded and swallowed, attempting to figure out what was going on.

Delano surprised her by stepping in and looking down at her. "Yes, where can we talk about it?"

From the hidden look in the man's dark eyes Relena knew exactly what he'd just asked. Relaxing a little, she nodded her head to the side. "The East sitting room," she added easily. "Can I get you guys some tea?" Ry and Alli both made a face at her, and she re-thought that. "Hot chocolate?"

"You're getting better at this," Ry smiled.

She returned it, and then she slipped back to the kitchen to ask Marie for the drinks. Returning quickly, she specifically directed them to one of the only rooms in the house that was unmonitored. Specifically for her meetings with security cleared personnel, she hoped she didn't look suspicious. After all, she rarely had visitors, and very few that fell neatly into that category.

If nothing else, Relena herself used the room often enough— for obvious reasons—that it should seem like a normal choice.

But it wasn't the room or the monitors that bothered her. These three individuals held more secrets than she cared to think about. If, for whatever reason, they decided they no longer wanted to keep those secrets….

She couldn't think like that. She had to trust them. She had trusted them, and she would continue to unless proven otherwise.

Ushering them in, she chuckled as Ry patted her on the shoulder when he passed her by. Closing the door, she prayed that she wasn't going to draw attention. Pausing with her hand still on the doorknob, she sucked in a breath. "This room is not monitored by the command center," she stated quietly. Turning towards them, she found Del especially, "If there's something you would like to say, it stays between us."

All three of them sighed, and Del slumped down onto the sofa, Alli beside him, and Ry took one of the chairs facing them. Motioning her over, Ry patted the oversized chair beside him. "Take a load off," he muttered.

Stiffly complying, she sat down, wrapping her feet up under her and waited. Ry and Alli both turned their attention to Del, as he sat, staring blankly at the coffee table between them. Finally noting the silence, he looked up to see all eyes on him and blinked. "I think Lt. Jameson…" he fought for words before failing completely.

"Jameson doesn't like Yuy," Ry stated bluntly. "But I don't have a freaking clue what he plans to do about it."

Relena started, staring openly at him. She'd heard a comment or two since they'd been back, but she'd chalked it up to simple worry from the older man. He was nothing if not concerned for her well-being. But…. "What do you mean?"

"I think Lt. Jameson is looking for a reason to bring Agent Yuy under inquiry," Delano stated quietly.

"Inquiry for what?" Alli beat her to it.

Del took a look around at them all before settling on her. "Anything. He just doesn't trust him with you."

Swallowing, she flicked her eyes over the group. "What did he ask you?"

"How we could let you go to Mars," Ry mumbled. "I think he was a little steamed that Yuy let you go."

Alli nodded. "I don't think you'd have been on that ship if he was still with us."

Relena dropped her eyes to her folded hands in her lap. "Yes, I would have."

"Excuse me?"

She closed her eyes with a smirk. "There's a reason Heero didn't put up a fight with me over going. Lt. Dave might think he'd have prevented me from getting on that ship."

"But we should all know you better than that by now," Ry mumbled, running a hand through his spiky blond hair.

"'Shoot me or open the door'," Alli muttered, giving all of them a good chuckle.

"Heero, Sally, Commander Une—all of them know me better than that. And they all knew that I had… other reasons for wanting to be there as well." Sighing, she finally spit it out, "What did you say?"

"Nothing of any use to him," Del smiled at her. "And I think he got the distinct impression that we wouldn't be forthcoming any time in the future either."

Relena broke out a grateful smile, feeling a small sting at the corners of her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. Flashing the same smile around to the other two, she sighed. "I know this can't be easy on you, but honestly, thank you."

They all waved her off. "You two deserve it," Ry muttered.

There was a knock at the door and Relena rose to open it for Marie, who carried in a tray of cups. Setting it down, she excused herself again, smiling as Ry all but hugged her for the simple drink.

"Now then!" Alli pronounced as Ry dove into handing out their cups. "What are we going to do about this birthday of yours?"

* * *

"Now, I don't agree that the Lieutenant has a right to grill us for info because he doesn't trust Agent Yuy, but… does anyone else feel guilty protecting him?" Alli asked softly as they drove back to Headquarters from Relena's estate.

"Yeah, I didn't really feel right about that either," Ry muttered from the passenger seat.

"We answered honestly," Delano stated simply.

"I don't know. I sure had a lot of things go through my head when he asked if I trust him."

Alli threw herself forward from the back seat. "'Completely, Sir.' Honestly, I could have kissed you for that," she laughed.

"Well there's still hope for that," he cooed, leaned towards her as she squished between the two front seats.

"Figuratively speaking only."

"Do you trust him?" Delano interrupted them.

They both paused and looked at him. When he didn't say anything more they both turned to each other again. "I guess I do," Alli ventured. "I don't have any real reason not to. It's just… kind of creepy."

Ry rolled his eyes. "He's a freaking Gundam pilot and we're acting like we're his best friends."

"…Aren't we?" she asked quietly. "A single accusation about his past and he'd probably be forced into hiding. We're holding his fate, and Agent Chang's as well. If they find one of them, they'll find the other. Not to mention the fact that Commander Une would come under fire for either hiring him when she knew, or not knowing if she lied about it."

Ry sighed, and laid his head back on the seat. "Miss Relena would never forgive us…."

"She'd do anything to keep his secret."

"And her brother's," Ry added pointedly.

"…She knows better than we do," Delano added.

Alli snorted. "You realize that between those two, they probably blew up half of creation."

"They also ended the war." Casting them a quick look, Delano shrugged. "He was a soldier, and he did what he felt he had to. I can come to terms with that, whether I like it or not."

"Miss Relena has," Ry added softly.

Delano sighed. "It'd be against her views if she couldn't."

"So you trust him?" Alli fished.

He nodded, gazing out at the road. "…And I'll protect them both if need be."

* * *

"Hn."

"Miss Relena thought it would appear suspicious if she asked you to her office after this, so we decided it would be best if we came to you ourselves."

"…Thank you."

* * *

"Congratulations Lt. Dave," Relena smiled as she slipped into his office. A box sat on top of it, being slowly filled with odds and ends from his desk.

"Miss Relena. I didn't realize that you'd heard already," he stated. The expression on his face was one of anything but happiness at the "promotion."

She kept her smile up and stepped inside, coming up in front of the desk. "Yes, Agent Yuy informed me a couple days ago, but told me not to say anything before it was finalized." Stepping around the desk, she walked up in front of the large man. "I can't say that you won't be missed, but the Presidential mansion has to look better on your resume," she chuckled.

"I hate to leave you," he stated.

She blinked up at him. "I will be well looked after," she stated, with more confidence than he probably wanted to hear. "I have the best teams around me, and there is simply no reason to keep an excellent officer like yourself stuck in my house."

The man gave her a bitter look, but continued to pack his things. "I just don't like this."

"What's that?" she asked, pretending not to know.

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "I don't especially care for Agent Yuy's _style_."

She blinked at him. "He has shown every dedication in ensuring my safety." That wasn't a lie. And in truth, he may just save her sanity while he was at it. "I trust him."

That got the other man to turn to look at her. It was a long moment as he searched her face. "Really?"

It wasn't a sarcastic comment; he seemed to want a real answer, and she softened her expression. "Yes." Lt. Dave really—honestly—didn't want anything more than to protect her, and she was grateful to him for that.

The man sighed and finally nodded. "Why not? Kids these days," he muttered.

She smiled fully at him and then stepped up on her toes to give him a quick hug. "I hope your new position will suit you," she said quietly. "Thank you for all you've done for me."

He patted her back a couple times and she released him and turned to leave. "I'm never far away if you need anything," he said after her.

Turning back she nodded. "I know where to find you."

Walking out, she kept the happy smile in place. As she turned away from the office she heard him start to mutter over "these kids" again, and she couldn't help but silently chuckle to herself.

* * *

"When you're part of a team, you stand up for your teammates. Your loyalty is to them. You protect them through good and bad, because they'd do the same for you." - Yogi Berra

Edited by: Miss Moony. Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 4

The credits began rolling up the screen as the movie finally came to a close, the lights coming up automatically. Relena sat in the slowly brightening theater with her merry band of security personnel. The group had decided that since she didn't get out too often, they were going to give her a, "normal," night out, which included renting out an entire theater for the evening.

It was rather odd having only five people in the entire place, but by the looks of the little, single-screen theater, it may have been the largest crowd it had shown to in months. As it was, the popcorn was good, and she got a movie uninterrupted, and she was in good company.

The movie itself however was probably not one she would have picked. With her time constraints they didn't have a whole lot of choice on what would be playing, so they'd simply brought her and sat through it.

"That is the only chick-flick I have ever sat through when I wasn't trying to impress a girl," Ry stated, stretching as he stood up from his seat.

Relena laughed at him and Alli playfully punched him in the stomach. "Yeah, you sure know how to do that," she rolled her eyes.

Beside her, Relena shook her head. "Alright, now, real people don't actually do things like that, do they?" she asked, expecting a unanimous no.

Alli gave her an odd look and shrugged. "You've never taken an absolutely pointless road trip with the girls?"

"And then made a movie about it," Ry commented, which got him hit again.

Relena stared at her a moment, amused. "Well, let's analyze this. The only girl I'm allowed to be around for any significant length of time, especially while traveling, is you. And considering I can't drive… I guess the answer is no," she smiled.

All four of them started, "You can't drive?"

Relena sat still and cautiously looked down the line to Delano, up to Ry, beside her to Alli, and then to her other side to Heero, before coming back full circle. "…No."

Ry and Alli exchanged glances. "You mean you never got around to getting your license is all, right?" he asked.

She gave him a befuddled expression. "I was a few months away from driver's-ed when the school closed. I never learned how. So, technically, no I never got my license."

The four of them stared at her in silence a moment, the music from the credits the only thing playing in the background.

"What?" she asked, feeling cornered by them.

Ry leaned back against the row of seats in front of them. "You just turned eighteen and—"

"Seventeen," Alli corrected.

"—seventeen, and you don't know how to drive yet?"

She gave him a nervous smile. "…I never needed to?" she tried.

Ry then exchanged a look with Heero. "Am I the only one that sees a security issue in this?"

Relena felt an embarrassed blush try to rise to her checks, but she furiously tried to back it down. Working up her courage, she turned to regard him. She was met with his typical calculated expression as he scrutinized her. "It would be to your advantage," he stated mildly.

Great. One of the world's most expert pilots, who could probably operate anything that came with any type of mobile capabilities, has decided it might be "advantageous" for her to know how to drive a common car.

Her birthday had officially crashed.

"There's got to be a good self-defense category that this falls into," Ry went on.

"No time like the present!" Alli jumped to her feet, her grin wider than it should be. "How about that pointless road trip?" she asked her.

And Relena could have crawled under her seat. "Now?" she balked. _With all of you?_ she silently added.

"We have a car, we have a parking lot, we don't have a curfew, why not?" Ry shrugged.

"Unless you're uncomfortable with this, Miss Relena," Delano added from his seat.

And she silently decided Del was now her favorite. "Well—"

"Uncomfortable?" Ry and Alli both turned incredulous looks at their partner.

"Like she would ever be uncomfortable with us," Ry blew the comment off.

While the three were distracted with arguing, she silently made her decision to try her last resort for being saved. She turned slowly to find a nearly comical expression of abandon in Heero's eyes as he watched the three.

And all hope of being saved slowly bled out of her.

He acknowledged her look, meeting her eyes. But his typical calm wasn't a comfort to her this time around. Slumping her shoulders, she already knew she was defeated. "I'm going to regret this," she muttered to him instead, getting nothing but a slight softening of his eyes in return.

* * *

"This is so far against regulation that I don't know where to start," Delano sighed.

Heero nodded in silent agreement from beside him. The two had bowed out of the driving lesson after Relena had meekly stated that she was going to be confused already, let alone with four instructors.

He couldn't blame her. He had gotten the impression that she hadn't really wanted to attempt this anyway, but Ry had a valid point that it could become a self-defense issue.

There were a number of things that he hoped to impress upon her to try in that area at some point. She should be her own best defense. But he wasn't exactly sure yet how to breach the subject of physical training. After all, she was a pacifist, and would probably be opposed to most of his areas of expertise.

Then again, she'd surprised him before.

As it was, this was a simple first step for her, and something he figured she'd end up enjoying.

The car was very slowly driving in circles around the parking lot in front of them. Ry sat in the passenger seat directing her movements, and Alli squeezed herself between the two from the back seat.

All four windows were rolled down in case they needed direction from the two leaning against the theater wall. But it also served to give Heero and Delano a random assortment of words and phrases as they passed by again.

Ry and Alli had been ecstatic for the chance to give the lesson, and so he'd let the three climb into their car and start out. He was beginning to wonder if leaving her in the hands of the two non-pilots of the group was a good idea.

"I think I'm happy that Miss Relena didn't say she couldn't swim instead," Delano noted.

Heero slowly turned to look at him, the thought of those two throwing her in a pool coming as a scary thought. "Hn."

Delano chuckled at him and then slid down to sit against the wall. "I had always figured you to be a bit more… stringent about the rules."

Heero noted that it was an odd comment, but as the car came to a stuttering stop at the end of the lot, he figured they were going to be there a while. They couldn't mistake the round of laughter that escaped the car as it went back to continuing its rounds. "I can't see guarding her like a prisoner," he stated quietly.

There was a long pause as they continued to watch the three make laps around the parking area. Heero didn't exactly know what he should or shouldn't say to any of the three about their relationship… what there was of it anyway. This was basically the closest he'd been to her in most of a month.

He had slowly deciphered over that time that he had unknowingly grown accustomed to her constant presence during the Mars trip. In the past two years, he was accustomed to the odd hold she held on him, and the seemingly random ways his thoughts would drift to her. But this was different…. He was now directly across the street from her most of the day, and yet, that was when he felt the farthest away.

Never before had he allowed himself to think that she would be better off close to him…. Never had he thought that he would be better off next to her… or anyone.

He was still coming to terms with what had happened between them. It was easy to doubt himself when he was away from her. Easy for the old thoughts of abandoning anything familiar for the sake of anonymity to take hold again. But he knew that the closer he got to her, the easier it was to fight those thoughts.

He was slowly building a life here, regardless of whether he knew what he was doing or not.

The car made another rough stop at the end of the area, and then the reverse lights came on. With a little effort the car began backing up, the break lights flashing comically as Relena apparently attempted to keep the car between the spacing lines.

Neither pilot could bite their chuckles all the way down as the black sedan weaved here and there as she way overcorrected. She stopped completely again as Ry pointed out her error and got the wheel straightened out again.

The two could hear random snippets of Ry and Alli yelling, apparently at each other, over something before there was a short beep from the horn.

Heero was just close enough that he could make out Relena slump over the steering wheel as the other two turned and waved back to them sheepishly.

Delano laughed from his seat on the ground. "Those two are having way too much fun with this."

Heero was just thankful that they were only driving around a parking lot. "Hn."

After the car was settled once more the reverse lights clicked off and the three apparently gave up the reverse lessons for now. Again, she slowly moved forward and around the lot, continuing to get a feel for it.

"Agent Yuy?"

Heero looked down at Delano as the older man sat on the ground, one knee pulled up to his chest.

He didn't look up at him, but continued his observation of the others. There was a faraway look to his eyes though, that Heero noted with a little foreboding. "Did you really join the Preventers to look after her?"

A simple question… with no answer. Heero turned his attention back to the car as Delano silently waited. Emotionally, he sighed, coming up with the same response. "…She asked me to stay."

That was apparently not what his officer was expecting to hear, as he finally looked up at him. "She asked you…?"

Heero nodded, unsure of what to divulge. There was nothing in the question that would be of any importance to his officer's duty, it was just… friendly conversation, he assumed. Resigning himself, Heero turned to meet the man's expression. "Yes."

The other blinked, a silent question of "why" on his face, but he didn't say it. Turning again to the driving lesson, he absently shrugged. "She's not the average girl, is she?"

That was a large understatement. "No," he agreed.

He noted Delano shake his head. "She used to have a normal life," he mused. "I mean, before the war landed in her lap, she was just a high school girl."

Heero felt a knot tighten in his stomach at the comment. _Before _he_ landed in her lap and brought the war with him, she used to be a normal high school girl_, he mentally corrected. The old guilt of dragging her into everything clung to him sometimes.

It wasn't even true. She had been born a Peacecraft, already had her brother, such as he was, and Heero had had nothing to do with Mr. Darlian's assassination. She would have been thrust into her role in the war with or without ever having met him…. But that never settled him exactly. Something about being the first to shatter her innocence left him cold.

But the war would most likely never have ended without her.

"No one really got to choose where they ended up in all of that. I suppose she was no different," Delano added softly.

"She was different," he corrected. Delano looked up at him, surprised, and he met his eyes. "She could change any place she went."

Delano blinked back the surprise, and then turned back to his quiet reflection.

If Heero brought war with him no matter where he traveled, Relena brought the hope of peace. The Sanc Kingdom had fallen, and yet her spirit wouldn't break; and in that, it had been spread. Romafeller had tried to figurehead her, and she had converted Earth itself instead.

Perhaps… she'd even converted him.

And she still, somehow, considered him the stronger.

The car slowed to a smoother stop this time, and once again the reverse lights came on. With a little less weaving, the car made it mostly between the lines all the way back down the parking area until it was directly in line with them again.

Stopping, all three of the occupants turned and waved at them.

"How we doing?" Ry shouted out to them.

Heero nodded and Delano laughed at them. "Not bad, Miss Relena."

Alli crawled over and leaned out the back window. "I've been telling her we need to start picking up cute guys, but since I don't see any I guess we'll just have to keep driving."

Relena and Ry burst out laughing, and Relena slumped herself over the steering wheel again. "Someone save me! My security guards are holding me hostage."

The group laughed at her plight, and Heero couldn't help but smile as she laughed too. She started out again, only to remember that she was still in reverse, and then shifted gears and continued on. Looping in the opposite direction for a few turns, she was slowly urged to pick up a little more speed.

After managing a few zigzag patterns and mastering reverse enough to stay out of the paint lines, the group once again pulled up to the two. Alli crawled to the opposite window this time and stuck her head out. "Alright, alright, we give up. You're the only guys we've got, so get in; we're going around the block."

"I'm what?" Relena squeaked.

"Well as long as you're abducted in a large parking lot you'll be fine, but we might as well get you some road experience," Ry chuckled.

"Killing your 'protectee' in a car accident is not going to look good on your resume," she sniffed.

"Miss Relena," Delano intervened, motioning towards the street, "there hasn't been a car by here in ten minutes. You'll be fine."

Looking around Ry she gave him a glare. "Del, you're not helping."

"Yuy, come on, back us up here," Ry pleaded.

He shook his head, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Thank you!" Relena cried.

"…But you should."

"…Crud."

The other three couldn't contain themselves at the un-Relena-like "curse." Sighing helplessly, she nodded and the other two cheered her on. Silently Heero and Delano made their way over and got into the back seat, quashing Alli in the middle.

"If I get pulled over for driving without a license, not only are you all fired, but I'm going to have to burn down every news office in the city," she grumbled.

"Right. 'Vice Foreign Minister's wild birthday joy-ride caught on tape,'" Ry mimicked, rolling his eyes. "This is so mild it's pathetic."

"You've caused enough trouble for one night," she grumbled.

"What did I do?" he squeaked.

"Miss Relena, if you get a ticket it will be for going too slow," Alli added. "Come on, we're right here with you."

Sighing, she slumped in her seat. "That's what I'm afraid of." Alli patted her shoulder in mock comfort. "Fine. Now what do I do?"

"Right hand turn," Ry instructed.

Sucking in a deep breath she crept to the parking lot entrance and made sure there wasn't another soul within ten blocks.

"Blinker."

"Oh." Searching the controls a second she triumphantly flipped the lever… and the whole car died laughing when the windshield wipers started. "What did I do?" she yelped.

Ry leaned over and shut them off for her, and then moved the lever up to get the green arrow flashing. "Here's a question," he started as the rest died down. "Have you ever been in a car before?"

"Ry!" Alli admonished.

Relena gave them a frustrated cry and took her hands completely off the wheel. "For your information," she started bitterly, "I was typically chauffeured while in the _back_ seat."

Alli snorted, "In the _pink_ limo, right?"

"Don't start!" Relena admonished as they cracked up again.

Heero silently sighed to himself. Reaching up in front of him to her seat, he set a light hand on her shoulder. "Just start out," he said quietly.

Acknowledging the touch, she reigned herself in again and moved her hands to the wheel once more. She checked for any poor vehicle caught in the area and when she found none, she hesitantly turned them onto the street. Heero took his hand away so he wouldn't disturb her concentration.

Her corner was a little wide, but she placed the car back inside the lines and continued on past the theater and to the next corner. "Right turn," Ry instructed again.

And again she stopped, with a small jerk. "Sorry," she muttered. Checking for other traffic, she continued on, taking this corner a little too tight for the sidewalk's comfort, but steadily headed down the street.

They made four trips around the same block until Relena seemed more confident with right turns, her turn signal, and she had even managed to pick up to a passable speed. This time Ry called for a left turn, and she silently gave it a shot. Again she was a little too tight, but corrected, and started chuckling to herself merrily as the group began chit-chatting more than instructing.

Heero kept an eye on her movements over her shoulder, taking note that she was slowly feeling a little more comfortable and starting to relax. Knowing that she was getting the hang of it relaxed him as well. For some reason he mirrored her nervousness.

The group spent the next hour roaming around the outskirts of the city, taking in the quiet residential sections with little to no other traffic. Learning this at night probably wasn't the greatest idea, but it did keep the areas cleared of foot traffic as well.

"Congratulations, Miss Relena. You now officially drive better than my grandmother," Ry stated as he slumped down in his seat.

"Gee, thanks," she commented with a smile.

"Hey, you can't say this hasn't been memorable," Alli added.

Relena laughed at them and nodded. "Well, I'm never usually bored."

"You ready for some traffic?" Ry asked.

"Sure, why not. I haven't killed anybody yet."

"That's the spirit. Right turn."

* * *

By the time she pulled them safely into the driveway of her estate it was past midnight and the group had a collective fit of the giggles. Relena figured she had probably started that. She was honestly enjoying herself, and this was beginning to be fun.

She slowed the car and pulled up to the front step. Vaguely she noted that if Lt. Dave were still with house command he would have been waiting at the door like a perturbed father that she was this late getting in.

…Father. She shook that thought off again. It wasn't the first time the image of her father had invaded her thoughts today. It was hard not to think back to her fifteenth birthday.

Stopping the car—without a jerk—she placed it in park and turned the key off. She was rewarded with a round of applause and a good collection of compliments on her skills. _Next up, mobile suit controls!_ she laughed to herself.

The group piled out, complaining about being stiff from the amount of time in the cramped car. She happily noted that Heero opened her door for her and she gave him a smile for the trouble. "I think I could get to like this," she warned him with a wink.

He nodded to her, obviously amused by the whole thing. Blushing slightly, she'd forgotten about her nervousness of what he must think of her. He let her lead them around the car to the others, and she quickly gave them all a hug for their help and her birthday present.

The other three moved back to the car for the trip to return it to headquarters and pick up their own vehicles. She was left with Heero on the front step, and she smiled as she easily wrapped her arms around his shoulders as well. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Happy birthday," he offered back, a light touch of his hands on her back was the only acknowledgement to her hug. Slipping away, she was about to turn inside when she saw him slip a small box out of his jacket pocket and quickly hand it to her. "…In person," he stated quietly.

She blinked at it in her hand before attempting to figure out what to say to him. But before she could he had stepped away towards the car. He waited next to it until she collected herself enough to say a final goodnight to everyone and get herself safely inside, slowly closing the door behind her.

She left the box mostly concealed in her hand as she made her way up the stairs and towards her own rooms. One of her house officers greeted her, and she acknowledged him automatically. Closing the door on the rest of the house, Relena left the light off a moment as she moved to her sitting room's window, just in time to catch the taillights of the car pass through the front gates.

Bringing her hand, and the box, up to her heart, she watched until she couldn't see the sedan any longer. Slowly she moved out of the sitting room and entered her bedroom, finally flipping on a light. She paced over to her bed, and sat down next to the bedside table where Teddy usually stayed.

"Well, my furry friend," she smiled at him, "maybe we should see what surprise we have this time."

She gently turned the black box around in her hands a few times. There were no markings on it, no note on top, just a thin square box with a lift-off lid. She hadn't expected anything at all. The only present she really wanted was to be able to see him again. And that wish had come true this year far better than she would have ever imagined.

In truth, a tiny, two-second hug after all this time was really not what she wanted. But she also figured that he wouldn't want the others to know that they had… developed anything more to their relationship. And if not them, then she was sure he didn't want the officers watching them on monitors from the command room to know.

_Maybe he got me a remote control to these security cameras_, she wished with a smile. Looking over at her little bear again, she decided that she would probably never be able to guess it right.

She sucked in a deep breath and wiggled the box top up and off. A folded card looked up at her and she picked it out and opened it to read.

'_To remind you of your own strength. Happy Birthday._'

It was the neat scrawl of his own handwriting. She'd almost memorized the blocky shapes of his letters from the—now taped back together—note from last year. But she blinked down at the note now, reading it again.

Finally she moved it aside and looked back into the box. There, curled into a round circle was a necklace and pendant.

And she stopped, staring at it. A thin, but sturdy snake chain was rounded to fit into the box, its silver color gleaming in high polish. In the center of the box, the pendant gleamed up at her in the same way. It was a simple silver stick pendent, about an inch and a half long.

Relena shook herself out of her daze and picked the beautiful set out of the box. Inspecting the pendent closely, she found it was a solid, four-sided stick. There were no markings on it anywhere, each side of it polished to gleam. The very top was drilled through to allow a fairly wide opening for the chain to slide through, and she figured she could easily move it to any type of chain if need be.

But finding no markings at all on it, she moved to the chain, inspecting it for a telltale mark of what it was made out of for sure. It couldn't have been silver or titanium, it was too light, but that could have been what he meant by "strength."

As she held the clasp of the chain up to the light, another thought passed through her mind. And she was not disappointed as she finally found a light engraving on the clasp, giving a manufacturer, and the initials GN 1026.

"Gundanium," she whispered to herself.

The alloy was the strongest developed to date, and it was impossible to refine in the Earth's atmosphere. She'd heard once about some people who attempted the jewelry market with it, but it never made much of a hit considering the difficulty in manufacturing, and the massive expense of refining the stuff.

Obviously Heero had found someone that was still making it.

Squinting again, she reanalyzed the pendent itself. The fact that there were no markings on it at all, not even a GN number to define its contents, made her wonder.

Slowly, the smile that had been on her lips since she'd opened the box crept farther until it was too wide to contain. She didn't actually care what it was made out of; it was a beautiful piece and she was more than thrown off guard from the idea that he'd given her a piece of jewelry….

_To remind you of your own strength._

No, to him this probably wasn't a jewelry piece. It was a symbol. A solid, sturdy, nearly indestructible symbol.

A symbol that she would have associated with him, not her. Perhaps that was the thought he wanted her to have. That she somehow—however insignificantly—belonged among the team categorized forever with this alloy.

…_your own strength._

Their conversations over the last few months came back to her easily. She'd admitted that he was her strength, and that she was different beside him. She was stronger beside him. Maybe this was his attempt to tell her that she didn't need him to retain that strength.

If it was, he was wrong. No chunk of metal, or whatever, could replace his presence as a catalyst to her. But if it was a nudge to trust herself more, then he was probably right.

Any way it was meant, it was wonderful.

Moving the box out of her lap, she stood up and moved to her dressing table mirror. Slipping the chain around her neck, she clasped it tightly, letting the pendent gleam from just below the hollow of her throat.

"Thank you, Heero," she stated quietly, running a couple fingers over it.

* * *

"The only gift is a portion of thyself." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know there are thousands of 'what does Heero get her next year' scenes out there, and I really thought about skipping the whole thing. But the more I thought about it, the more I liked my idea. And quite frankly, that's the reason for me writing this, so if it's been done to death, it just hasn't been done by me. :D And I promise I'll get to more hxr fluff, but we need to work through a few things. (yes, I'm evil, I admit it ;)

Edited by: Miss Moony. Thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 5

Heero pecked quietly at the keys of his laptop, reworking the security firewall codes for the Preventers mainframe. Commander Une's standing order was for updated security measures on the network systems. And since she now had someone who had spent a year hacking the system, she figured his orders should be to fix it.

It was beginning to be a fun little game. Each time he rewrote the encryption levels; Trowa would break in and find his weak areas. Heero figured that if he could get to the point where Trowa at least had difficulties it would deter most anyone else.

Three weeks of the other former pilot's on and off work at it had finally paid out, and Heero was once again investing his attention into sealing the network off once more.

Heero was beginning to suspect that Trowa was as bored as he was anymore.

The two never exactly talked. By anyone else's standards they sent "cryptic" emails back and forth if something came up. To the two of them, there just wasn't that much to say. Trowa had volunteered himself on a number of occasions since the Preventers got their official start. He'd never made any mention of wishing to join, or even in making a physical appearance, except when necessary. But he did have a number of very useful skills, and apparently free time on his hands as well.

The same could probably be said of Duo, since this time, Trowa cheated.

After three weeks of waiting, Heero had finally received the customary message that the system had been infiltrated, an "in-house" message from outside of the network. Typically the message would read something to the effect of where the crack was located, or how easy it was to break once found.

This time he'd simply gotten a message that said, _"Had help."_ And with it came a musical attachment of smiley faces.

Whether that meant that Duo had been visiting the circus again, or they'd just happened to team up, he wasn't sure. After all, the longhaired pilot was known to drop in for unexpected visits now and again… on all of them.

Movement from the other side of the space plane caught his attention just enough to make him check the cabin again. Dawna Willims, Relena's aid shuffled her papers in her lap once more, and then closed her folder. The young woman neatly filed them away into her case before pulling out another set, finding her highlighter colors very interesting.

She sat in the seat next to the aisle between the two. Relena had her customary seat next to the window, beside him, and the rest of the team was currently in the cockpit, also as usual.

The main difference on this trip was that Relena lounged her seat back and had finally fallen asleep. Heero knew by now that she never normally slept while traveling, but she had every right to be exhausted by this leg in the trip.

In two weeks she had visited at least one colony in each of the clusters, and she was now accepting an invitation to one more Representative's function. He was sure she wasn't sleeping well with all of the travel and the appointments. Her stress levels hadn't exactly gone down any during her time away from the office, but she'd made more than one comment about it being nice to be out.

That was a topic that Heero had been contemplating more and more as the weeks ticked past. Without a mid-level supervisor for her house systems anymore it was much easier for Relena to move about. Her properties were guarded as always, but several leniencies had been implemented since Lt. Jameson's removal—promotion.

Heero was also attempting to learn the nonsense of "polite" etiquettes… which he was discovering was going to be very difficult without more guidance than he had first planned on needing. General observation revealed a good portion of what he thought he needed to know. However, he had noted more discrepancies than he could keep track of, dependent on everything from time to person.

To say he was confused was an understatement.

He'd ventured just far enough to ask a couple questions of Relena during downtimes. She'd off-handedly answered without any indication that she thought it was odd that he asked, which was comforting to some extent.

Heero knew that Relena usually enjoyed guiding him through things that she obviously found to be a perfectly normal part of her life up to this point. He had found that a simple look of confusion would make her chuckle and spring to explaining whatever it was that he just could not fathom why he would ever need to know or understand.

He had begun classifying such things as "feminine information," because Sally usually did the same thing to him. So far he wasn't sure he had gained any significant insights into life as a whole, but the two women did have an odd effect on his definition of life anymore.

Wufei's typical "women" remarks were rubbing off on him. After all, it was the other agent's typical explanation for their odd fixation with anything he would find meaningless trivialities.

But there was something to Wufei's comments that tended to stick. The man would brush off the odd concerns or comments, but at the same time, he would seem to understand the feminine intentions more than he let on. Heero had wondered more than once if Wufei's comments stemmed more from a better understanding of female characteristics, than from a lack of it.

Heero had never asked, not finding it to be his place. Especially with Wufei, he did not figure bringing up a discussion over their pasts would be wise. They were both with the Preventers for one, very simple, reason: they had nowhere else to go.

…And a woman had asked them to stay.

Heero blinked at his screen, his coding missing a few beats as he wondered about that. Taking a quick glance, he looked down at Relena, still sleeping lightly beside him. Continuing with his formulas, he vaguely wondered in the corner of his mind about that.

Perhaps… the girls understood better than he thought they did. Sally had been a solider, and fighter, perhaps she would understand the idea of being left with nothing but the memory of being useful after your life's work was complete.

Hilde would probably know that too. Even though she was new to the ranks of a solider when Duo found her, she had lost her immediate family, and had next to nothing to return to either. The two sort of clung together for lack of anyone else to share that with… he figured. Somehow he suspected there was more to it than that, but he couldn't be sure.

Catharine Bloom was different. She and the rest of the odd players at the circus had convinced Trowa of having a home. Heero would not have expected that from the quiet pilot, even after having been there. But Heero also knew that even a single person who asked you to stay… almost couldn't be refused.

Quatre he wasn't sure about. The Winner heir was actually needed in general society. He'd had a home and family before the war cast him into his role, and he had that afterwards too, with a few exceptions. Quatre, much like Relena, had taken up his father's vacant position and moved on, secured in a purpose still.

It was Dorothy that just didn't seem to fit into Heero's neat analysis. He'd been present when the two met in Sanc, and had discussed the possibilities of her being a spy or even an assassin sent for Relena with him. Pegan and Noin were not the only ones keeping an eye on her.

Dorothy simply wasn't on their side. That was what struck the odd note with her. Instead of following the pilots, Dorothy had fought them at every turn. She had been an enemy.

Heero had yet to figure out when something had passed between the two. And perhaps it was completely after the war that they had met up again, and…. Well, he wasn't entirely sure what to make of the two. The other pairs at least seemed fond of each other. Quatre and Dorothy… he knew nothing really, except that he could easily see that they would guard each other's backs if needed.

Dorothy would probably never have even come to mind in Heero's introspection if it hadn't been for the Mars trip. He'd simply had no idea that she was that involved with Quatre and the Maguanacs to put herself at risk to come after them.

And if nothing else, Dorothy was the only person, aside from Relena perhaps, that would understand Quatre's life now. Inwardly sighing, he figured that was something.

There was a startled gasp from beside him as Relena snapped upright in her seat. The chair automatically reverted back to a straight sitting position at her jump, jolting her up straight.

Heero snapped his attention to her, but found nothing of concern when her wide eyes met his. Blinking, she visually pulled herself back together. "Sorry," she whispered, for what he didn't know.

"Miss Relena, are you all right?" Dawna asked from across the aisle.

She nodded, rubbing lightly at her eyes. "Fine. Sorry. Just forgot where I was," she explained.

Heero noted the light blush that ran into her checks, and he decided it would be best if he didn't comment.

"Excuse me," she mumbled, standing up from her seat and rounding her way back towards the restroom.

He noticed her flash a smile to Dawna, who gave her a curious look, obviously denoting that she was all right. Chalking it up to her usual inability to sleep during travel, Heero returned to this work.

"Agent Yuy?" Dawna softly asked as soon as there was a click from the back door.

He turned to regard her as she leaned over the armrest towards him.

There was an oddly concerned look to her expression as she checked backwards to make sure they were alone. "This isn't exactly my place, but… Miss Relena seems to be having nightmares a lot lately."

Heero blinked at her. "Nightmares?"

The aid nodded to him. "Officer Carver made a comment a few days ago about knowing she woke up several times when the two had a room together." Dawna shrugged, "It could just be stress I suppose, but I'm wondering if someone should ask her about it?"

Heero didn't exactly know what to say to that. Somehow he couldn't see Relena as being the type of person who would be plagued by nightmares, but anything was possible. Blinking back his thoughts he nodded to Dawna, "I'll handle it."

The woman favored him with a grateful smile, her green eyes brightening at the words. She nodded back, and then returned to her highlighting.

* * *

"Goodnight, Miss Relena," Dawna politely stepped out of the room, Alli directly behind her. The two girls would have the room next door, leaving Relena in one alone between them and the one Ry and Delano were now sharing. Directly across the hall was the one that Heero had been assigned.

But he had no intention of leaving Relena's just yet. The two girls got a wave and a goodbye as Relena still sat on the couch in the sitting room. Representative Breshard had given her the main guest area, including the sitting room and her bedroom directly off this main office/sitting space.

As Alli pulled the door closed behind her, Heero stood away from the wall, and paced over to the couch she was perched on. The group was used to spending their downtime together, chatting about this or that. The addition of Dawna's input usually leveled out their conversations a bit more than normal. Tonight the group had turned in early, leaving Relena to get some rest after the hectic pace.

Heero typically adhered strictly to the Preventers' professional code, spending little time completely alone with the charge. The articles were put into place predominately for the female politicians and representatives, mostly to protect their reputations, exacting that attention must be paid to even the appearance of misconduct.

He'd originally thought it was a large waste of manual space.

Of course, he'd since seen first hand the extent to which others put their faith in mere appearances, and therefore changed his opinion. It could never hurt to be cautious.

This evening though, he needed a few moments with her. Coming up in front of her, she looked up at him with a smile. "The others must think I'm tired."

He scrutinized her a moment, finding that he, too, believed she was tired, although apparently not sleepy. "They may be right."

Her smile slid down to a smirk before she shook her head. "I'm fine. It's just been a lot of traveling."

He nodded even though she wasn't looking for it. "You're not sleeping well," he said instead, interested mainly in the root of the problem.

She looked back up at him and blinked. "How do you know these things?" she asked incredulously.

"I had help," he answered.

There was a defeated sigh and she nodded. She raised only her eyes to him this time, looking almost through her lashes. "I've just been stressed lately, and then I don't sleep well, and then… I dream."

Her eyes darted back down again, and he waited.

When nothing else seemed to be coming, she hesitantly looked back up at him. "It's really nothing to worry about. With all of this behind me, I'll be fine." She gave him a smile, but somehow it didn't settle what he needed it to.

"What kind of dreams?"

She faltered a moment. "Just… dreams. Anything. I've had the 'I forgot my speech' one a dozen times. I've fallen off a few cliffs, I mean, I've had one about green jello… I think."

The list started to make him wonder if she'd been overworked to the point of a mental breakdown. But he figured there was nothing in her list that should worry him too much. Instead he nodded quietly, "Are you all right?"

Her expression softened to a smile and she slowly rose to her feet. Stepping in she raised her arms to slip around his shoulders. Looking into her eyes, he began to wonder what it was about that question that seemed to have this effect on her.

However, he quickly realized that he was now trapped. …That seemed like the wrong way to feel.

She wrapped herself into a hug, and he felt himself return it, his hands sliding slowly around her. There was a moment when the remembered feel of her unburied itself from his mind, as if he was finally living a dream. The memories and feelings swam back to the surface in him at her simple touch.

They had had very few chances to be alone together since… well since this started. Heero hadn't even realized how much he had buried the memories until he was faced with it again. He hadn't meant to, he'd just…. What? He'd just what?

His grip finally encircled her and unconsciously tightened as his eyes fell closed.

Missed her. He'd just missed her. And had, therefore, buried down these feelings under typical daily activities, not wanting to dwell on them.

It was at once frightening and comforting. And as always, she was confusing, bringing up conflicting emotions in him.

"Thank you for worrying about me," she whispered to him.

He blinked his eyes back open. Of course he was worried about her… his entire life now revolved around worrying about her.

"I'll be fine though," she pulled away enough to look down between them. "I just feel… trapped sometimes."

The comment was probably made to be conversational, but it twisted something inside him. That edge of over-protectiveness came up again, having been rather dormant for a while now.

"I've been so busy with all of this lately that I think I've forgotten to breathe a few times," she chuckled lightly.

Looking down at the top of her head, he silently scrutinized her, feeling at a loss for a way to help her.

She looked back up to meet his eyes, and he saw a smile in them despite her words. She slipped in a little closer, "Have I mentioned lately how nice it is to have you with me?" Her smile brightened and he melted at the sight of it, feeling his lips trying to return it.

She giggled at the expression and closed her eyes. He relaxed as he gazed at her happy face, just inches away. Something in him had tried to force these feelings back during their time apart, but it had failed miserably once she was close again.

He took the chance and tightened his grip on her, pulling her closer and placing his forehead against hers lightly. Her arms around his neck tightened as well, and he felt her draw in a deep breath.

And he once again had to remind himself that it was alright to be close to her, to draw on her.

She deserved better than this. She deserved to enjoy some of the freedoms that she worked so hard to protect. His eyes opened again although he could see nothing. He raised his head from hers, and Relena simply moved into a hug once more.

But his eyes were focused past her. Calculating quickly, he took an inventory of their position, the time, the security placements… and Relena's attire. He hesitated only a second as he recognized the repercussions of his actions, to both of them, and weighed them against the possibilities. The consequences of failure, on any level, were far too high to consider….

There was a shift as her cheek rubbed lightly against his shoulder.

And for once, his brutally cautious nature was overruled by sheer emotional attachment. Failure was not allowable.

"Relena?" he questioned quietly, his eyes still focused past her.

"Hum?" she mumbled.

"Do you trust me?" he asked instead.

She leaned back from her place and looked up at him, the question taking her slightly off guard. But as he met her eyes he found no doubt to them or her voice. "Completely."

And silently he swore that he would not fail her.

He slipped away from her, his eyes once again focused behind her on the sitting room's balcony doors. They had caused him some worry before; the idea of easy access to her rooms from the outside was not pleasant. But now, they stood in the most convenient set up he could have asked for.

Heero noted that Relena was curiously following him over to the doors as he dug a set of interrupters out of his pocket. Their own security measures ensured the alarm system was set up on the doors, any motion would trigger the alert to each of the officers. But their equipment was meant to keep someone out, not in.

Taking the small magnetic caps, he crouched down in front of the doors' baseboard where the sensors were monitoring. Without powering down the whole system, the sensors would still alert the others to motion if he did this wrong. But powering down would send the same message.

Carefully, with a practiced precision, he moved one cap directly over each of the sensor banks. They had to be simultaneous or the alarms would trip once the circuit was broken. With a final snap, he let the two caps go at the same time, blocking their ability to communicate, and feeding the loop back the other direction.

When his own pager didn't go off on his belt, he knew he was successful. He rose to his feet again and unlocked the door, turning back to find Relena's shocked and confused expression.

She blinked, "You're not supposed to be able to do that… are you?"

He didn't bother trying to hide the smirk as he pulled the door open and extended a hand to her. Again she gave him the same expression a second before looking from his hand to his face. She finally raised an eyebrow at him and took his hand, not a word needed.

Pulling her out, he closed the door behind them and then took a quick survey of the almost purely decorative balcony. He heard Relena sigh to herself, obviously content for the moment. He, however, had other matters to attend to.

The balcony was only on the second floor, a mere fourteen or fifteen feet to the ground, easily accessible due to the porch beneath them that ran around the back side of the house. The mostly darkened colony left the area predominately in shadow, and the house's own security system had a number of maneuverable holes, even under the circumstances.

The porch roof made an easy secondary landing, leaving only an eight-foot drop to the ground below. Simple enough.

Easily swinging over the iron railing, he planted both feet on the outside of it; turning back he found Relena was really not paying attention. Obviously she was missing the point of bring her out here. "Relena," he whispered quietly.

Turning, she gave him a smile before she realized in the dim lighting that he wasn't where he was supposed to be. "Heero?"

"Shh," he admonished, motioning her over.

"What are you doing?" she whispered back, but moving quickly to his position.

Under other conditions he would have chuckled at her lost expression. "You have to trust me," he said instead.

She stood in front of him, the railing between them, and he waited for her to evaluate the situation. If she showed signs of backing out, he'd let her… and he'd have to find a way to apologize.

She eventually shook it off and stared at him. "But… we can't…" she sighed. "You're going to loose your badge for this."

She's worried about him. He was the one threatening her life with this stupid stunt, and she was worried about his job. "If we're caught," he whispered back.

He wasn't sure what it was about that sentence that caught her so off guard that she had to cover her mouth with both hands to keep her laughter from alerting someone. Shaking her head, she smiled, and Heero realized exactly why he was taking this kind of pointless risk.

"Alright," she whispered. "But I'm not going to be good at this."

"Come here," he instructed, not wasting any more time.

Relena looked at the railing a moment before swinging one leg over at time, finding a foothold on the other side with him. Heero kept an arm around her waist just in case she slipped. Listening closely, he searched for any indication that someone was underneath them on the porch. When nothing met his ears he motioned her to stay for a moment as he soundlessly dropped onto the porch roof. Crouching along the exterior to the edge of it, he made out the security cameras, noting their line of sight with what he'd known of them from his security instructions when they arrived.

Only one would catch their decent if he left it as it was. Fortunately it was also located next to the porch roof corner, accessible from the back where he now was. Finding the wiring and controls he needed, he made a very quick adjustment, setting the camera on an infinite loop.

Next to no security personnel would have noticed the split-second of darkness followed by the same image as before. No one should notice, but they had to hurry, just in case.

Getting quickly back to where he'd left her, Relena was still waiting exactly where instructed. She was getting better at that, he thought. Motioning to her, he told her to jump. Puffing out a breath, she did as instructed, dropping straight down the few feet to the secondary roof.

He caught her around the waist just before her feet hit the ground, setting her down more gently to avoid the sound. Taking her hand he led her back along the roofline, and to the side corner that was now cleared of the camera.

With no railing this would be easier. Bringing her down to her knees next to the drop off, he took both of her hands and nodded for her to go over the edge. Relena cringed this time as she looked down at the height.

Her grip tightened more than would have been necessary, but he didn't mind. Bracing himself up he nudged her off the edge, getting a gasp out of her as he dangled her down towards the ground. Lowering them both, he shook her to remind her to let go once she was only a few inches above the ground.

She easily let go and found herself on solid ground again. A quick jump and he was next to her, taking her hand and quickly leading her away from the house's corner towards the outside patio wall.

Relena trailed behind him without a word, and as the two slipped deeper into the dark, he smiled as he figured out that she was trainable…. Although he was going to have to make it absolutely clear to her that she was never to try this on her own.

Getting to the wall in the blind spot of the camera security system, he motioned to her that they were going over it. Looking up at the six-foot wall, she blinked back at him. He didn't give her the time to scrutinize it any farther than that. Dropping to one knee he hoisted her up, again getting a gasp out of her.

"Up and over," he said as low as he could. He picked her up to about waist level on the wall, and she didn't hesitate to grab hold of the narrow wall and lift herself to a sitting position. Swinging her legs over, she dropped down the other side. Heero was only a second after her, pausing on the wall's top just an instant to make sure he wasn't going to come down on top of her.

Once on the other side they found the street corner basically deserted, which he had planned on it being from the sounds. Taking a careful look back at the wall he mentally marked the spot, and then took her hand again and led her quickly away, down the street.

Once they were away from the Representative's property, Relena seemed to work her voice back into shape. "Um… where are we going?"

"Where would you like to go?" he asked instead. Taking a quick look at her in the streetlights they passed, he noted they were too recognizable. Taking off his jacket, he moved it around her shoulders instead. "Take your hair down," he instructed.

The jacket would take him out of uniform and would hide the white button down shirt that she wore over her dark gray slacks, hiding her in darker colors at least. She quickly complied and took the bow out of her hair, letting it loose.

It would have to do.

"I don't think I believe that you just snuck me out of your own security area," she stated, giving him an odd look.

He tried not to return it, suddenly feeling… depraved for this.

He didn't really get the chance to delve any deeper into those thoughts though as Relena slipped in close to his side, and pecked a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she grinned.

…That was not what he'd expected.

Relena suddenly decided that it was her turn to take the lead as she wrapped around in front of him and took one of his hands, pulling him after her as she started out at a bouncy pace.

Taking a good note of their surroundings he let her lead, feeling both nervous at being her only line of defense, and… happy about the same thing.

* * *

The two had wandered around the neighborhood for a half an hour before Relena finally found the park that she knew should be around here somewhere. Heero probably would have known exactly where it was, but she hadn't wanted to spoil the mood with asking for directions.

Instead, she was just enjoying being out. It was wrong, and selfish, and slightly frightening, and could land Heero in more trouble than she could even think of at this point, but she loved it.

The idea that her head of security had just broken every rule that his job entailed for her was… heartwarming.

Yes, that was the wrong way to feel, but she couldn't help it. She had no fears with him beside her, and after the inhuman display of getting them out of the house undetected, she didn't figure she would have to. It still amazed her what he was truly capable of. If he hadn't had her with him, he probably wouldn't have even had to think about how to do that.

The park held a few people here and there, but so far no one had even given them a second look. There was no reason to suspect two teenagers out for walk after all. Relena let her hair drape conveniently to cover the ID badge on his jacket, and most of the striping on the shoulders. It would keep them from looking suspicious, she hoped.

Finding a lonely corner to the park, she led him to a bench near the back wall. "We probably shouldn't be out too long, should we?" she asked, breaking their mostly silent walk.

Checking the time on his pager, he returned, "We have a little less than two hours before the normal guard rotation. We should be in before that."

Rolling her eyes, she didn't figure that she'd ever get him to use normal human tones, but it was also comfortingly familiar. "Well then Agent Yuy," she teased, "was there a reason you deviated from mission parameters and rescued me from a perfectly well protected position?"

He blinked at her a moment, but didn't say anything about the obvious tease. "You deserve better than this," he answered quietly instead.

It was her turn to be taken a little off guard. "Better?" she questioned. "I have the best security that I could ask for… plus you," she smiled.

He shook his head, letting his gaze wonder around the rest of the park as he had been doing the whole way. "You shouldn't feel trapped by it."

Her words came back to her. Relena hadn't exactly meant anything by the comment, she just felt safe telling him what she thought and felt, and… she may have to keep comments on her security a little safer from her officers. "I didn't mean that you had to disobey every rule you've been given," she said quietly, taking a seat on the concrete bench.

"I didn't," he stated, looking back down at her from his still standing position.

She didn't hold back the smile. "Oh? Which one did you manage to keep?"

Closing his eyes, she could just make out a tiny smirk to his lips. "You're safe."

"I'm not sure the others would agree with your reasoning."

He nodded absently. "Hn."

She couldn't help but feel absolutely giddy. She'd just snuck out of a house with her—with a boy, and she had no intention of telling her "parents" about it. She should do this more often…. "Thank you," she said instead, reeling herself back in and letting her responsible side come back.

Heero seemed to debate something in his dark eyes before he quietly sat down beside her. "There isn't much I can do for you," he seemed to confess. "There are still too many risk factors for you to have a normal life."

Relena felt something in her heart twist at his tone, not knowing why exactly. "I'm getting used to the idea of not having a normal life." She leaned into him, as she studied his profile from beside her. "I don't think I want one anymore."

Heero seemed to blink out of his reverie, looking over to her as she laced her arms around his one, sitting sideways and leaning against him.

She met what she could of his eyes in the dim lighting from around the little park. "I've resigned myself to this role, and until I run out of time on my father's term, I'll keep this position. After that, I'll have to figure out whether to run again, or to try to do something else. Quite honestly, I don't know if can do anything else."

She looked down, letting him support her. "Maybe it's selfish, but somehow I just don't trust letting someone else take my position," she stated quietly. "I know that it would be a lot easier if I retired and left it to someone who didn't have a kidnapping on their record, and leave you guys open for something more important things than listening to all of my boring speeches."

She rose her eyes to meet his again as he studied her. She knew that those eyes could buy back her very soul if need be, and that he wouldn't let her lose herself in all of this. She didn't want to go back home… mainly because she didn't want to lose the feeling of him beside her. "I don't want a normal life."

"What do you want?" he asked, almost too quiet to hear.

_I want to be part of yours_, she thought to herself, feeling her chest tighten. Although her lips parted, she couldn't force anything to come out.

But he waited, nothing else coming from him, and she realized that his question was not as innocent as she had first thought. Heero Yuy was not a man to be tied down to anything but the direst subjects in his heart. He would not hesitate to abandon anything, even his own life, for what he believed in.

If she told him she wanted out… somewhere in the bottom of her heart, she knew that he wouldn't take her back to Representative Breshard's house.

Still she couldn't find her voice. Once again, her one power of words failed her with him. Could she really say anything at all? All she wanted was to be next to him, and…. "I want to help. I want to be useful to someone. I need to feel like I can make a difference…" she trailed off.

There was something that changed in his eyes. Even in the dark, even though he made no other move, something changed.

Relena stared up at him, concerned that she had said something wrong, something he didn't want to hear. "Heero?"

Softly his other hand slipped over, coming to brush back the hair from the side of her face. His touch was so feathery it raised goose bumps down her shoulders and arms. His fingers brushed the strands back and continued to comb her hair slowly all the way down the length of it. Ending, he lifted his hand back to her shoulder, gently pushing the stray locks back behind her. His fingers then entwining in the hair at the nape of her neck, raising goose bumps everywhere else.

His shoulders leveled themselves sideways, bringing him closer to her as his fingers played in her hair, sending a tremor down her back. Her arms around his loosened as he shifted in his seat, his movements almost not registering to her foggy mind.

She wouldn't have even heard the soft clicks around their dim corner of the park if it hadn't snapped Heero's attention suddenly away from her. His arms were around her in an instant and she was hauled forcefully to her feet, tucked into his body as the cascade started.

It took her a second to recognize that the danger he was protecting her from was rain. Or rather, the park's sprinkler system. The soft clicks would have been the sprinklers themselves popping up. As the water heavily poured in on them both, she was mildly surprised that Heero didn't run them for cover, but simply pulled his jacket around her over her head. Pressing her closer to him, he took the brunt of the damage as the water rained down on them.

Relena could no longer hold back the laughter as she felt her slacks become soaked. His arms around her were tight as she stayed pressed close to his chest; his other hand was covering over his jacket on her head, attempting to keep her dry. But still she laughed against him, the absurdity of being caught in the sprinklers coming to her as being very funny.

She was either going to laugh, or cry at being interrupted.

It couldn't have been over a minute before the water stopped again and the soft clicks resounded as the sprinkler heads descended once again. She looked back up at him when he pulled the jacket down to normal around her. Tilting in, his bangs dripped a couple extra drops onto her nose and she giggled again, using an equally soggy jacket sleeve to wipe them off.

When she looked up again, she found Heero's smile undaunted this time. The quiet raise to his lips stilled her as she found his eyes. Apparently he wasn't too angry at being drenched by the minute long downpour.

No longer protecting her from the eminent danger of shrinking, she felt his shoulders relax again, and his arms moved to a comfortable hold, although they lost none of their strength around her. She was pinned against his chest, her arms even clamped almost uselessly to him.

Gazing up into his face, she suddenly felt absolutely perfect being at his mercy. His arms gave her no chance of escape and she didn't want any. She felt secured by him, anchored to him.

His face leaned in to hers and Relena did nothing but wait. Her senses started coming alive as she felt his bangs brush against her forehead, leaving trails of water to tickle her. She took a staggered breath as she felt his lips just barely brush against hers.

Moving just a bit she aligned herself with him, her eyes automatically closing as the movement helped press them together. Despite the strength in his arms around her, his lips held hers tentatively, softly. There was no hurry to their embrace, nothing that dragged her mind from the spill of emotion between them. It was a pure outpouring, neither trying to prove anything, neither bringing anything else between them but their honest feelings.

It was the sweetness of the feeling that shocked her heart once again. The purity of his heart, the absolute beauty of him that she would protect at all costs. Her love for him making her wish that there was a way she could be worthy of this.

Gently pulling back, their lips slipped apart, missing each other already. Relena didn't open her eyes, she couldn't. As long as his arms stayed tightly around her, she was happy to stay prisoner. Softly, by instinct and memory, she laid her head against his shoulder, not daring to whisper a word.

Relena felt his cheek come to lightly settle against her head as she stayed wrapped in his arms. There were no more thoughts that swam through her mind. Her heart was content to beat exactly as it was. And her soul had never felt this kind of peace.

* * *

Heero silently scrutinized that he was never going to have to worry about Relena going out like this on her own… at least not far anyway.

Aside from being giggly at all the wrong times, she was not doing well with the walls and heights either. He would have to bring up a few ideas for training.

This was his own fault. Her giggles were definitely caused by their…. Anyway, if he hadn't lost his head again and….

Why was he fighting this? He hadn't had any such thoughts go through his mind half an hour ago. He wasn't sure he'd had any thoughts go through his mind at that point at all. Even with their relationship to this point, he hadn't experienced such a total abandon with her.

She'd understood. Actually, no, she felt the same way. He'd tried to explain that later, tried to tell her what it was like to look back on something that you never expected to live without, or in his case, live through.

He wanted to have a use again. And so did she. Her role was simply still there, where his was not. But she would give up any of the pleasantries of life to be able to fulfill that need.

And he would ensure that he remembered that from now on.

The overwhelming feeling of being drawn to her did just that, drew him. Just the touch of her hair was almost an overload.

Finally getting them back to the corner of the porch again, he jumped up and caught his hands on the roof and swung himself up and over, landing he turned so that he could reach down to her. Relena stared back up at him, a shocked look to her for the tenth time that night.

He'd have to get her a little more used to this. "Relena," he whispered.

Shaking it off, she reached up and he grabbed hold of her wrist instead of her hand, and motioned for the other one too. Complying she grasped onto him with both hands and he got his knee under him and fluidly hoisted her up until she could scoot onto the roof. With a gentle nudge he sent her moving to the balcony railing again as he swiftly reconnected the camera to normal feed.

She was getting used to being levered up short distances as he raised her up to be able to pull herself into a position on the railing itself. And she did a better job of holding the giggles down this time than she did over the wall back onto the property.

He swung himself up and was on the other side before she'd finished climbing over it. Checking the door and the rooms beyond for any signs that someone had entered while they were gone, he opened it, finding nothing to convince him they had been discovered.

Relena followed him in and he locked the doors behind them, carefully pulling the caps back off the sensors and re-securing the room. And he finally breathed when he managed it without tripping the alarms.

Turning back, he found her pealing off his jacket, which was still wet. In the bright inner lights he finally made out that Relena's slacks were wet as well, although drying, much like his. She pulled her hair back from her face again, half of it damp and half not, and he ran a hand through his own.

The final challenge would be to make it back to his own room undetected, since neither of them would pass for having been safe in this room, engaged in polite conversation for more than an hour.

But he couldn't help feeling that he didn't want to leave her. Not for any reason other than what he'd been doing the whole night. He was simply caving in to her. What they had done was dangerous on every level he could think of.

Yet, when she turned back to him with the same smile on her face, he let himself wipe those thoughts from his mind. He'd discovered that she not only had too much of a hold on his emotions, she had all of them, and a hold over his very nature considering what he'd done tonight.

She paced back to him, dropping her eyes to his chest as she slipped into a hug. Pulling her arms around his neck, she stayed close a moment. He automatically returned a light touch, his hands at her sides.

Looking down at her, he noted again that the necklace that he'd given her was neatly tucked at the hollow of her throat between the edges of her collar. She'd thanked him for it several times now, but there was that odd feeling of pride that she wore it. And she always seemed to wear it.

"Thank you," she whispered, still not meeting his eyes although he looked for them. "This…" she trailed off with a smile and a shake of her head. Looking up finally, he was taken aback with the look of joy in her eyes, mixed with that affection that he was still getting used to. "Thank you," she simply repeated again.

That swirl in her eyes, the smile on her face, the feel of her arms around his neck, all of it was a combination that was easily glazing over his judgment again.

Part of him recognized this as dangerous, but he trusted her with it, and most of him didn't care. He'd berate himself later, he already had a list. Instead he pulled her in, a move that he was getting good at, and wrapped his arms fully around her again.

Her fingers traced playfully along his shoulders as she again let her chuckle come up. Someday he'd figure out why that sound could get him to do anything….

* * *

"Smile; it's the second best thing one can do with one's lips." – Unknown 


	6. Chapter 6

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 6

"In and out operation. Leave the intel for later. Agents' teams will take the sides. Do _not_ run into each other. Local SWAT forces will be engaging on the second floor." Commander Une's fingers flew over the building blueprints as she pointed out the makeshift entrance points.

Heero eyed it quickly, noting the wall spacing and the doorways leading to the original hanger deck. There wasn't going to be much in the way of cover once they were inside.

The building in question used to be an airstrip supply shed, created mainly for housing small passenger aircraft. It had since been occupied by a group smuggling anything from war surplus to current issue police weapons and equipment. The situation had been monitored by the local Preventers force for most of two months now, but this week it had turned… volatile.

With the amount of firearms present both in, and now surrounding, this building it was a wonder no shots had been fired yet. That was about to change.

The group was having no success in negotiating themselves out of the building with Commander Une. Her terms were acceptable only if they laid down every weapon they possessed and turned themselves in. She would plea-bargain their sentences later.

Their negotiator was still crying for them to back off and let the group take off into the air with a fully loaded plane of "cargo" headed for undetermined location.

Neither side was budging.

Consequently, Heero, Wufei, Sally, and an assortment of others had been flown directly into the situation and were briefed on their assignments. The group's had resorted to threatening to blow the whole building and the Preventers had jumped to taking more drastic measures. If the building housed only half of what the people inside were claiming, it could still wipe the surrounding town out of existence.

Even prepared and with the element of surprise this was not going to be easy.

Sally sprinted up to the group in the command station, having prepared the med tent for the possibilities of the coming injuries. She hadn't yet been informed that she would be having those injured thrust into her hands all at once.

The group broke and Heero and Wufei took their point positions, their subordinates falling into order. Sally handed Heero a standard issue assault vest and belt, before heading for Wufei with the same.

Heero striped his jacket and holster off, replacing them with the heavy garments. He didn't feel right with the added weight on top of his movements.

What worried him more was what he would find inside that building. At best count the group inside would number around twenty individuals, all armed, all dangerous… and all expendable at this point in the fight.

The local SWAT teams would be going in on the second level where most of the group was believed to be as it held the office space and quartering. The bottom level would be his and Wufei's job, securing the area with the vast majority of the weapons and explosives.

If anything in the building detonated, the whole place could blow in a chain reaction.

This was not a mercy mission, and the negotiations had already failed. Heero stared at the round-topped building, dreading what he was about to do.

* * *

There were no sounds coming from inside the building as the group behind him waited for Heero's mark to move. Expertly, he positioned the thin, explosive strip to form a makeshift doorway on the outside of the thin metal building. Above him, the first group of SWAT members was already suspended on the curve of the building, prepping the same type of entryway.

Finishing quickly, he ensured his placements were correct and hoped that there was nothing of any major mass on the other side of the wall, or this was going to be a very short trip. Less than a minute later the final team had theirs in place and the buzz in his ear told him to begin.

The wall blew a perfectly formed doorway through the metal and into the dim interior. He was the first one through, not waiting for the smoke to clear, which gave him a window of blind cover.

Dodging inside, he zigzagged forward, already hearing fire coming from the upper level along with shouts to surrender. His group was silent as they sprinted forward, the team splitting off for various degrees of cover to assess the situation.

Heero moved deftly towards the back of the hanger deck, eyeing the layout as he went. Crates and shipping containers lined the floor; the central area was prepped with a small space plane, standing at the ready.

Twenty yards in and there was no one to be seen between the rows of boxes and pallets. Although upstairs, there was a firefight going on. Holding down the impulse to rush to their aid, he continued to move.

The stairs off to their right opened up as a group apparently tried to flee down and away from the attacking SWAT team. Heero hand signaled three of his subordinates and they cut off the fleeing terrorists before they reached the bottom.

They quietly stripped the group of their weapons and moved back to the wall where they could be handed out to the police force surrounding the building. Continuing to move, Heero led the group towards the back, assuring that their position was held secure.

There was no warning before someone opened fire.

The team split, each person diving for personal security before attempting to track where the rapid staccato was coming from. Heero himself tracked the motion as he pressed himself into a position against one of the shipping containers.

The gunman was on top of the nearest row of containers, shooting blind from what he could tell of the direction of the bullets. Undisciplined, he had given himself away for no gain. The gun was silenced a few seconds later as one of his team got a better sighting on him from the back.

Without wasting time, Heero moved out, sprinting through the haphazard mess. With the first shots fired on the ground floor, he was sure that anyone down here would be clawing for a way out.

Wufei's team had yet to put up any gunfire as they were supposedly headed towards the front of the building, sweeping the area like he was doing. The fight upstairs was moving to more calculated bursts of noise as the seconds ticked into minutes inside the hostile terrain. No matter the outcome of the battle there, the main deck had to be secured.

To that end he motioned the group that was trying to follow his quick lead to split up as earlier instructed, cover more ground and apprehend any other suspects.

Close gunfire spun him around in almost mid-stride as the shots were quickly answered. Wufei's group then. They must have found their own attacker.

That was enough to make Heero decide to quit playing cat and mouse in this maze. Sprinting for the nearest line of the shipping containers he used a nearby pallet as a springboard and leapt on top of the metal box. Crouching down he surveyed the area from the better vantage point.

The fight on the other side of the hanger area was over by the sound of it, but he still couldn't see anyone.

No sooner had he determined that than motion caught his eye as he turned back towards the prepped space plane. A lone individual in civilian clothing was headed for the ramp at breakneck speed.

Cursing, he raised his firearm and began sighting it in, calling over his headset as he did. "Space plane ramp, one confirmed."

"Mine!" came a call in his ear. Heero kept the sprinter in his sights as he or she closed the gap to the ramp. A chorus of shouts came, obviously being bombarded on the suspect by the three officers he had originally split off to remove those attempting to come downstairs.

The suspect turned, brandishing a gun of some sort that Heero couldn't make out from this distance. Still he held off the trigger, unsure how close his own men were to the suspect by now.

He had a good view of the person taking at least three shots before falling to the ground from the force of the bullets.

He snapped his weapon's sight away. "Secure the plane," he called back, nothing more needing to be said for the individual taken down.

Again he swept the area once before he left his position and continued towards the back of the building. Running down the row of uneven containers, he caught sight of something just in time to throw his body down off the top of them.

He was well ahead of a barrage of bullets as they streamed in from two shooters, all now on the opposite side of the metal storage bins. Screams and questions came over the headset, no one close enough to him to know that he had been targeted.

The voices only distracted him from judging the distance from the back of that container to the shooters. Yanking the thing away from his ear he dropped it, his frustration level elevated.

Jumping from his landing position he sprinted to the end of the row and rounded with a short burst of fire to cover himself until he could acquire his targets again. One of the shooters was attempting to track him, but too slowly as he made it around the side wall before the other man could get to the top of the container he had just been on.

With his weapon un-aimed due to his attempt at climbing the bulky square, he had no chance to retaliate as Heero bodily grabbed him, flinging him easily to the ground and using the butt of his weapon to knock the man unconscious.

Searching for the other that he knew was there somewhere, he absently removed the handgun from the weak fingers and tossed it aside. The other was nowhere in sight, and had obviously left this one to take care of Heero on his own.

Moving stealthily along, he tracked what would have been the easiest escape route for a fleeing gunman. He silently listened as the rest of the gunfire from upstairs also began to bleed out. Without his earpiece he couldn't track the advancing attack, or know when the re-enforcements from the local police and Sally's medical team would be entering either.

That didn't matter, there was still at least one person unaccounted for.

Heero stopped short, listening hard as he neared the edge of one of the middle rows of pallets and equipment. He heard it once, then twice, before he could hear clearly enough to recognize the sound.

Mentally cursing, he sprang forward, turning around the nearest container and trained his weapon on the lone gunman, the man's sidearm forgotten as he knelt in front of a—

Heero had fired the shot before his brain had even analyzed that he was supposed to give a verbal warning to the suspect to freeze or be fired upon. In this case, it wouldn't have mattered.

The body slumped from its kneeling position onto his side, a detonator switch falling limply from dead fingers.

* * *

"Would you stop fussing, woman!"

Sally let out an exasperated sigh and just about shoved the cleaning pad down his throat instead. "Wufei, if you would sit still, this would be done by now."

"I am not injured."

Sally came back fully into his face as she stood in front of him, the only thing preventing him from running for the tent flap. Brandishing the wad of cotton in front of his nose, she glared down at him, hard. She was in no mood for his chauvinistic attitude this time. "I will do as I please," she stated in sharper tones than she ever usually took with him.

The irritated expression instantly blinked out of his eyes, and she immediately felt bad, but refused to give into his pride and show it. Now that she sufficiently had him silenced, she went back to cleaning his "not injured" arm so that the "non-injury" wouldn't become infected.

_It would serve the thankless head-trip right if he had to crawl back to me with a fever and blood poisoning!_ she thought as she angrily wiped at the wound.

She stopped when she saw the involuntary twitch in his arm muscles. She knew that sort of reflex all too well and it froze her for a second as her eyes widened. Softly she leaned back from his arm to his face. "Sorry," she whispered.

Thankfully it wasn't pain that was etched in his endless black eyes. Instead, he gave her a very unusual look of confused concern. "Sally?" he asked, nothing more coming.

She sighed, letting out the amount of stress she felt. Throwing the cleaning pad into the pail with the rest of them, she lowered herself to lean on the table beside him. Her other hand came over to lightly rest on his shoulder, far above his wound so as to not accidentally hurt him again. This whole mess was getting to her more than it should be.

She closed her eyes a moment and shook her head, her two braids falling into her face. "Sorry," she said again, reeling herself in once more and taking a calming breath. After the string of wounded or already dead men that had come through here, this little scratch was nothing. Rising again, she moved to the tray beside them and fished out an adhesive bandage. "Just keep it clean and wrapped," she said, attempting to pull back to her normal self.

Wufei said nothing, but she could feel his eyes on her as she mechanically opened the pouch and moved back to the wound.

The wound… not her partner, not her friend, not someone that she cared about. Just the wound. A small, rather ordinary gash. Nothing that would cause any long-term effects, and certainly nothing that he hadn't had many times worse...

Sally automatically smeared the area with an antibiotic treatment and slipped the bandage into place, smoothing it over the ridges of his bicep. She still felt his eyes boring a hole through her, but she kept her own eyes down, and her mouth off.

Finally pulling away, she snapped off her gloves and tossed them aside, giving him plenty of room to get up and leave. When he didn't, she inwardly cringed. Forcing her customary "after check-up" smile, she turned it to him. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

He met her eyes and she wished she'd never looked at him. Still present was the same searching expression as he apparently tried to put her back together in his head.

She was saved as the tent flap opened again and they both turned to see Heero enter. Letting herself relax with the interruption, she gave him a smile as he casually looked over the scene. Apparently finding nothing to be concerned with over a simple bandage on the arm, he continued. "We have a ride back in half an hour."

They both nodded. Sally gave him a measured look and noted a piercing hardness to his eyes that she was no longer used to. "You weren't hurt?" she asked, just in case. He mechanically shook his head no, and she gave him a second smile. "Well, I guess I'd better get packed then," she stated to no one in particular.

Passing by, she gave Heero a pat on the shoulder before wandering off to find one of the local Preventers to dump the clean up on.

The two men watched her go, and Wufei found himself still sitting there for lack of anything better to use himself for. He shook off the odd display that Sally had made, although it nagged at him internally. Instead, he lifted his arm, testing that the bandage would not interfere with his normal range of motion. The wound wasn't anything to worry over, just a gash picked up by clipping a piece of equipment as he sprinted for cover when they came under fire.

Finding that it would suffice, he rose, pulling down the ripped and blood-soaked shirtsleeve over the bandage and picked up his jacket. Turning back, he found Heero exactly where he had been, still looking after the direction that Sally had gone.

Wufei raised an eyebrow at him a moment until he still got no response. Was he just missing something around here?

He did take into account that Heero had not "redressed" so to speak. His jacket and even his holster dangled from his hand at his side. But even staring absently into space, the former ZERO pilot's eyes were dark, hooded, and seemed….

Wufei continued to pull his jacket back on, making as large of a production out of it as he could in order to knock the other out of it without having to say anything. It only semi-worked. Heero turned his attention back down to his own hand, currently holding the rest of his uniform.

He knew the look, but he also knew the man, and knew nothing was coming voluntarily. "If it wasn't us, it would have to be someone else."

He knew he found a nerve when he felt Heero's eyes snap up to glare at him. Wufei didn't return it, leaving it at that as he moved past him.

"I'm tired of being a weapon, Wufei."

That paused him, the tent flap in hand. Turning, he still didn't find the other man's eyes, but he understood the dark look. He knew the feeling of being… used. "You asked me once if something like that had to be repeated." The other man finally met his eyes. "We're already here, the history of our lives is already written. We're Preventers, but what we're preventing are the situations that created us." He dropped his eyes closed, "I will not justify creating new soldiers in my place."

When he was sure there was nothing else coming, Wufei turned and left. Heero stood silent for just a moment before walking out after him. He still couldn't bring himself to put his jacket and sidearm back on.

* * *

Heero stood in the shower, the water cascading down his back in cold waves. The water was nothing compared to the icy feeling in his chest. The cold, heartless instinct that had been almost physically bored into him.

There was no sorrow, no anger, no remorse, not even any real regret, just the cold calculation that he had failed. True, he only failed himself. There was nothing of consequence to his actions other than a successful mission to anyone else.

Except to the man lying in a local morgue somewhere.

He had sworn to himself that he would never kill again. _"__…I don't have to anymore."_ But it wasn't true. It wasn't even realistic. Wufei was right, their lives were written, and nothing was going to change the fact that they would have blood on their hands until the day their own stopped running.

He knew it when he had made the decision to join the Preventers, he was faced with it on Mars, and he understood that there was a difference. …A difference that didn't seem to matter now that it had finally happened.

He had traded in a machine designed for terrorist attacks for a badge. He was now _legal_ to kill people. What a hell of a difference.

But he couldn't leave it alone. He couldn't just walk away. He'd never be able to. He felt responsible for keeping this peace that he'd spent his life… never believing would come. Sometimes he honestly wondered why he'd lived through the war at all.

No… he knew why. The seemingly stupid reason that he never gave up and just died. Someone would actually care. Someone would… miss him.

The water ran cold over him, soothing the skin on his back that had been nearly burned by the scalding hot water that it had started out as.

Someone that he was supposed to be with in probably less than twenty minutes. Someone that would be worried when he wasn't at her house on schedule.

Someone he was expected to be in a car alone with for three hours today.

For the first time in his life, he was emotionally unprepared to face someone. He was afraid to face Relena.

In less than a second, his old instincts had come back so raw that they tore instead of cut. His body's decision had been made before his mind had a chance to understand what he was doing. His training was so complete, so perfect, and so ingrained that he had actually scared himself at his complete lack of control.

He had seen the inevitable, and he had taken the most effective, and probably the only, response that he could to the situation… out of pure, involuntary, instinct. And in that single flash of action, he had destroyed the fragile awakening of his humanity that he had somehow managed to gain here.

How could he possibly be trusted with her…?

* * *

Relena glanced at the wall clock again. She found herself counting the minutes even though she wasn't meaning too. Ry, Alli, and Delano stood around her, chatting idly as they waited. The three had informed her that Heero had been called out on an emergency mission yesterday. If their information was correct, his group had only been released from debriefing a few hours ago.

No need to worry. He was just catching up. Heero was busy, that's all.

But she wasn't that naïve. Any "emergency mission" that called out Heero, Sally, and Wufei was exactly that: an emergency. She knew this feeling of having a brick slowly lowered onto her chest, squeezing the air out of her.

Even though she tried not to show it, she still ended up raising a hand to ball over her heart. Except this time, she brushed against something else.

Her necklace that he had given her was an official part of her life now. She had basically decided that unless necessary, she simply wouldn't take it off. It was gundanium after all, meaning that she would never have to worry about it breaking, or tarnishing or even about removing it for metal detectors.

The vast majority of the time, her outfits hid the piece underneath anyway. But for their casual drive out to visit her mother, she had opted for a simple collared shirt, exposing the pendant.

Absently, she fingered it now, thinking about its bearer. The slender piece was fast becoming her own personal worry stone.

"Oh, Miss Relena, is that new?" Alli asked, jogging her from her thoughts.

Relena blinked at her for a moment, until the shorter woman moved in to inspect her throat. "Oh, yes," she answered automatically when she figured out she meant her pendant. "It was a birthday present," she answered.

"Duh, she had it during our trips," Ry mumbled.

"Did you really?" Alli asked, and then turned a glare at Ry behind her. "Well I didn't notice. You don't wear jewelry that often," she explained.

Relena gave her a smile and nodded. She didn't exactly know whether or not to be forthcoming that Heero had given it to her. She just honestly wasn't sure how the three would react to the idea that they were… closer than they should be.

"It's pretty. Let me guess… from your mother, right?" she asked after looking it over.

Well…. She let herself laugh, "Maybe it's from a secret admirer."

Ry and Del both laughed and Alli raised an eyebrow. Glancing back she exchanged a look with Ry and they both nodded, "Mother."

Relena gave them a deflated expression but didn't give them an answer as they laughed over it.

The four turned when the front door opened and Heero entered only far enough to find their group. "Ready?"

* * *

Relena was trying, he knew she was. The car was silent—uncomfortably silent, as she gazed out her passenger window. He knew she could tell. With whatever ability she had to read him, he was sure there was nothing that he could do to prevent her from knowing.

He'd avoided her eyes for most of an hour now. She had said the others told her he was on a mission, and she had asked if everyone was all right. Everyone, assumingly, meaning himself, Sally, and Wufei—the few that she knew. He'd given her a curt, 'yes,' and that had been the end of it.

Except that she knew he was lying.

The silence, for once, ate at him. Being here ate at him. The very fibers of his being wanted to just run away, lose himself again in the animosity that had comforted his nerves for longer than he could remember.

The morning sunlight shown through a draw in the landscape as they turned around one of the coastline ridges. Shining in through her window, it reflected off Relena's pendant as she absently fiddled with the thing.

Heero blinked as the sliver of light flashed by him, casting her the first sideways look since they'd started out. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, haphazardly draped over her shoulder as she stared at the passing scenery. A pink, collared shirt fitted around her and a simple pair of white pants finished out her appearance. The necklace glimmered as she twisted it back and forth, rolling it between her fingers.

His hands tightened unnoticeably on the steering wheel as he focused back on the road. He didn't know what to feel. He was so desperate to figure this out.

He tried to remind himself that there was a difference to his actions now. He was no longer a weapon, no longer just a solider, he was… a peacekeeper. He didn't _have_ to kill anymore, it wasn't an assignment, but he would in order to protect someone else. Even though it nagged at his very soul, he couldn't come to any other conclusions.

He would never allow himself to be forced to commit these types of actions again. He would never take a "target" again. But Wufei was right, if not them, then who? Could he really ask someone else to become what he hated?

The sunlight disappeared again as they passed around another bend, and the scenery through her window changed back to the rocky cliffs towering above them. Relena seemed to finally take notice as her fingers dropped the necklace back to lie against her chest.

She turned fully to him, "Heero?"

Why was he bothering to fight this? He glanced at her, acknowledging her only a second before his eyes went back to the road.

"Something happened yesterday, didn't it?" she asked quietly.

He tried not to notice the worry in her eyes from the corner of his vision. But in all truth… she deserved to know. She needed to. Perhaps then she would begin to understand that her blind trust in him was… irresponsible.

Swallowing, he nodded. He cast her another quick glance before focusing away again. "I killed someone yesterday." The sentence was quiet and flat, and even though he didn't exactly want to blurt it out like that, there was no reason to embellish it.

She froze, only her eyes widening. She understood. She knew that he had made a promise to himself never to have to utter those words again. Her response was very slow in coming, and for a moment, fear ran rampant through him. It was utterly unfounded, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he had known that type of fear before….

"Why?" It wasn't over a whisper. He forced himself not to look at her again, but he could feel that her question wasn't an accusation. "What happened?" she continued, possibly clarifying for fear that he'd take that the wrong way.

Somehow, it slowed his mind, easing his flighty instincts. But she deserved to understand. "It was automatic, I didn't even… think about it." The cold calculation froze into his chest at his words.

He kept his eyes so focused on the road ahead of him that he didn't even see her move. It wasn't until her hand landed lightly on his arm that it startled him. He had no choice but to find her eyes, and the soft worry in them. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Remembering that he was still driving, he turned back. Blinking hard, he forced his breathing back to normal with effort.

"I'm so sorry. Heero, talk to me, please," she nearly begged in a hushed whisper. "What happened?"

He felt himself crack, although he couldn't explain what it was exactly. Instead he glanced at her once more, finding that he couldn't refuse her. "Stand off situation. We had no choice but to infiltrate and remove the group." He nearly choked on the next words. "I had to prevent someone from setting off a detonation device."

He felt her hand on his arm tremble. That same fear lit within him so forcefully that he removed one hand from the wheel and took hers instead, gripping it tightly as though he thought she'd leap out of the car.

"I'm sorry. I know you never wanted this again."

She was still missing half the point. "It doesn't matter why. I didn't even think about it, Relena. I can't even be trusted with…." No, that was all there was. "I can't be trusted."

He heard her breath catch before her fingers around his tightened to the point of breaking. Sparing a glance, he finally looked at her again. The worry was gone, but it was replaced with confusion. "What are you saying?" There was a note to her voice that made him not want to answer her. "You weren't given a choice, Heero. If you had been, you would have found another way. I believe that."

_Would I have?_

"That doesn't make up for what happened, I know that. You should never have had to be put into that type of situation again." She softened, "But please don't start doubting yourself."

Doubting? "Relena… I can't trust my own actions," he confided, feeling like it was being ripped out of him.

"What else could you have done?"

He tuned to blink at her a moment. There was nothing else coming. It was an actual question, and her eyes told him she needed an answer. He scanned the deserted road ahead as he turned the image over in his mind, flipping it at all angles. "…I don't know."

"You've never given me that answer before." There was harsh edge to her voice. She knew he didn't want to admit it, but she wouldn't let it go. "You can't find anything else that you could have done, can you?"

"No," he finally answered.

He felt her move closer to him. Half of him wanted to push her away again, to not let her in. But the other half was pleading for her understanding, pleading for an answer to his life right now. "Then why do you believe you can't trust yourself?"

_Trust your training._ That was exactly what he was… afraid of.

Her free hand moved to brush against his cheek in a soft caress that he had to fight not to jump at. "Heero. There's nothing that I can do to take back the whole situation. I wish I could," she whispered, sincerity dripping from her voice as her hand traced down to settle on his shoulder. "But please, don't loose faith in yourself for doing what anyone else there would have done in your place."

He blinked. What anyone else would do? Not quite. "You wouldn't have."

"Pacifism is not opposed to self-defense. Why do you think I've always supported the Preventers?" He spared a glance at her, her eyes calm and focused. She was serious. "How many people were in that building? How many would have lost their lives if you hadn't done what you did?"

Twenty-six SWAT team members, eight agents, twenty-two other Preventers officers, unknown numbers in the police force outside… unknown numbers of civilians in the immediate area.

"You're right; I wouldn't have done what you did. I probably would have choked and we all would have died." Heero snapped back to look at her, completely taken off guard by the statement. "You are the strongest and most controlled person I have ever known. If you made a snap decision, it was because there was no other way and it had to be done."

He focused back to the road, trying vainly to focus himself as well. Controlled? He used to be. Right now, he had no idea what he was doing.

Moving back a little, she wrapped both of her hands around his one on the armrest between them. "You've spent your life doing exactly that. There is no reason you should have to continue." He saw her look down at their hands, before closing her eyes completely. "Heero, I would never blame you if you want to finally leave this."

The ache in his chest was so real that he had to remember to keep breathing. She'd said the words, and he was sure that she meant them… but her hands clung on to his as if for life itself. By now he was getting to be very good at knowing her unspoken tells, and he could feel the slight tremble to her hands.

They passed around another bend in the road, and he deliberately let their other car, with his three officers inside, lead ahead of them out of sight. He slowed the car quickly, moving them to the side of the road and stopped.

Throwing it into park, he turned to her, finally just tired of not understanding. Her eyes blinked at the road ahead, and then turned to find his, fear and concern etched so deep in her eyes that it was almost painful to see.

He leaned in towards her, catching her face with his free hand. "I can't ever leave this behind me. It's all I know." He closed his eyes a moment, forcing himself not to think about what he was pouring out. "But I'm not sure I can be trusted… around you."

That was it, wasn't it? Why he hadn't wanted to face her or have this conversation. For the first time, he didn't feel in control, and he couldn't stand that thought. Especially around her.

His eyes snapped open again as he felt her move in, her lips lightly touching his own for only a second. How could she…?

She broke away, but stayed close, her eyes still closed. "I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you." Slowly she backed away a bit farther, enough to look into his eyes. "Nothing will make me start doubting you now."

Why? _Why?_ "…Why?"

Her eyes melted to a look that he was beginning to understand as more than just concern or affection. An expression that he was sure no one else in his life would be able to know. "I love you."

…What?

"I would do anything to help you find peace. I don't want to lose you…" she trailed off as tears built up in her eyes. "But you don't have to be here. After everything, you deserve better than this."

A single tear rolled out of her eye and he caught it with the thumb of his hand that was still against her cheek. His voice wouldn't have worked even if he knew what to say. Instead, the only thing he could do was give in to the single, overwhelming, impulse in him.

Leaning forward, he kissed her… deep, slow, and without hesitation this time.

Once they moved apart again, his phone at his side was beeping for attention. The others were probably worried by now with no signs of them tailing behind. He moved away, taking his hands back and pulling the phone from his waist, noting that it was Delano's line.

Pulling the car back out of park, he answered it. "We were delayed. We're approximately five minutes behind you… and coming."

* * *

"One can be a soldier without dying, and a lover without sighing." - Sir Edwin Arnold

AN: I wanted a quick break to the flow of the story for this. Do any of us know what will happen on any given day? And are we ever prepared? This was an emotional piece to write. I hope that comes across.

Edited by: Miss Moony. Thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 7

The car was once again quiet, but this time it seemed much more comfortable. Most of the way through their trip by now, the two still seemed caught up in their own thoughts. At least Heero was. He was suspicious that Relena had actually fallen asleep.

She leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder and upper arm, scooted as close as her seatbelt and the consol would allow. Her arms were wrapped around one of his and one hand was tucked in his. She had gently taken hold of him once he'd steered them back out onto the road and continued on.

Her actions were louder than her words and he knew that she was worried, actually even frightened, that he would take up her suggestion to walk away.

He kept finding his eyes drifting over to her and then back to the road. He would admit, to himself at least, that there was a part of him that wanted to leave. There was always that part of him that wanted to. But he'd realized once before, and he had again on this little road, that no matter what he did, he would always be called back to the same things… and back to her.

…And he just honestly didn't think he could leave her. Not like this anyway. Not when she would cry. That was a feeling that ate at him, body and soul. That single tear.

He'd been reminded of Trowa and Catherine, and the other pilot's reaction to the tears of a woman. He could understand that better now then he'd ever wanted to.

Obviously, she wasn't exactly prepared to let him go. But she would. Just like she would tolerate anything in order to keep her position and continue to help those that she could. She would find a way.

He glanced at her again, not being able to see much but the top of her head. She hadn't moved in miles, and her breathing was too quiet to determine anything from.

She still trusted him. _"__I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you."_ Her words still echoed around the car, haunting him deeper than ever before. He knew she trusted him, had begun to understand just how far she trusted him.

But this… this made him rethink the idea that that trust was a good thing. He'd realized just how automatic his responses had become over the years. He'd come to realize that his control was secondary to his instinct, and now, in a place where his life was tied to allies—friends, whatever—that could have disastrous consequences.

She had, in essence, forgiven him. Seemingly absolved him from what he would have thought was an unforgivable action. Had simply washed it from her thoughts with a simple excuse.

He wasn't sure he could be that lenient with himself.

But she'd kissed him. A feathery touch that had proven she didn't hold any of this against him. Not the fact that he had taken another life, not that he had broken a promise never to do that again, and not even that he was now considering just how dangerous and unstable he himself really was.

He hadn't understood how she could be so willing to ignore these kinds of crimes.

"_I love you__."_

He didn't even know where to begin figuring out what that meant.

He glanced at her again, and absently rubbed his thumb over her hand in his. He honestly didn't know how deep her affections for him went. The expression that she "loved" him didn't exactly say anything concrete. At least not to him.

Love ranked up there with friendship somewhere in his list of emotional words that really held no value to him. He was coming to terms with friendship, he'd had the experience, he assumed, and was getting more and more comfortable with the definition.

However, this was the first time that love had come into play with him. …And he was realizing that it might be the only time that it would ever come into his life.

He stole another glance, the honey blond of her hair set against his shoulder. Relena was different. He'd always known that. Even with the amount of concern that had grudgingly made an appearance in him for the others during the war, Relena was always different.

She cared, she… loved him. He turned it over in his head again and again, wondering when or how she thought he had become deserving of that. He certainly didn't deserve her. But she didn't seem interested in giving him the choice of whether or not she cared about him.

Headstrong as always.

The thought softened out his expression as he let the view of the quiet coastline seep into his hectic thoughts.

She honestly cared so much… Heero began to wonder how he could possibly return that.

Another thought made him glance down at her as his breath caught. Had she wanted a response? Was she looking for him to return the expression? …Did she need to hear the same thing?

Mentally cursing, his tiny peaceful minute had been shattered. What was he going to say to her?

* * *

Relena sat through dinner, enjoying the conversations around the table—and even Ry and Alli's arguments. Her mother sat in her customary seat at the end of the table, watching the group, obviously amused with them. She would sneak a few side questions every now and then to her, still getting used to them.

The topic of her driving lesson was brought up, and even her own mother didn't remember that she'd never learned. That conversation lasted far too long for her comfort.

Aside from that, the day had been nice once they reached the house. …Before that was what made her worry. She had fallen asleep on the way there, although she had no idea how, she certainly wouldn't be getting any tonight. But she had lost her chance to talk to Heero more.

She had purposefully let him to himself for a while, a long while actually, hoping that he would break the silence to her this time. No such luck obviously. She'd only had enough time, as they pulled into the driveway, to ask if he would be all right.

Why she expected him to say anything more than, 'Hn,' she didn't know. But he lightly brushed her cheek, and then nodded for her to look out her window as Pegan was already exiting the house.

He did seem better though, not that he made a production out of it. But he and Delano were silently exchanging looks to pick on the other two officers while they bickered on as usual. Heero was getting better at that. Better at group interaction all the way around. He seemed comfortable around them now, less "stoic" as Duo would put it.

But he worried her. She was catching herself trying not to let him out of her sight; afraid he would simply hop over the garden wall and disappear. When he suddenly stopped the car this morning, she was honestly afraid that he was going to open the door and walk away, leaving her abandoned on the side of the road.

She knew better than that. But what she wasn't sure of was how much he could take before he broke down and decided it was enough. …She wasn't sure if she meant enough to him to make him stay.

…She didn't know if she wanted to be.

He deserved better than this life, he deserved anything he wanted. She may not be prepared to lose him, but she would never want to be the reason he had to live through the torture he endured yesterday. He shouldn't have to anymore.

In truth, she'd already prepared him to leave. She had said the one thing that her heart needed him to hear. Even if he hadn't necessarily understood, he heard her, and no matter what he thought or felt in return, it didn't matter.

This wasn't about whether he returned it or not, it was about her admitting it. She loved him, for everything he was, and for everything that he inspired her to be. Whether or not he felt anything back was immaterial. She felt it.

Absently she fiddled with twisting her necklace around again. She needed to talk to him though. She needed to be sure he was alright with himself more than anything, and—

"Relena, that's pretty, where did you get that?" her mother asked, eyeing her pendant in her fingers.

Her breath caught as she fought for an answer.

"Oh," Ry and Alli exchanged a look. "We thought you gave it to her," she said.

Her mother blinked. "You obviously haven't noticed my tacky taste in jewelry," she laughed.

Relena was thankful for the interruption, but every eye in the room turned back to her again, and she tried not to flinch.

"I gave it to her," came the casual answer. They all swung their eyes down the table to Heero.

Delano looked back and forth between the two on either side of him and Ry and Alli slowly turned back to her. "So… the whole 'secret admirer' thing…?" Alli raised an eyebrow.

She blinked, trying to fane innocence, "You didn't expect a straight answer, did you? You two are really bad guessers, by the way." _Please sound casual, please sound casual,_ she mentally pleaded.

"Well," Alli smiled back to Heero. "My birthday is October 28, feel free to buy me jewelry any time," she winked at him.

Heero gave her a customary non-committal blink and the four of them cracked up.

* * *

Her mother chuckled at her as Relena stood in the center of her closet in her old room, almost randomly tossing things into boxes. "I had no idea I had this much junk," she mumbled.

Mrs. Darlian sat on the corner of the bed, watching her pick through her not-so-distant past captured in a closest that had barely been opened since she'd taken over her father's position. "Time has a way of defining 'junk,'" she smiled, remembering how much of a pack rat she used to be.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that this was such a mess?" she sighed.

"When did you suddenly pick up organizational skills?" she laughed at the younger woman.

Relena turned a weary look back at her before she rethought that and shrugged instead. "Alright, that might be new." Turning back, she stared at the rows of shelves above the clothes rod. "But tell me why I kept my third grade science project?"

"You were proud of that," she answered.

"…I never realized I was such a nerd," she mumbled.

"You were not," she defended.

Relena pulled down the assortment of sticks and charts glued onto a poster board from the shelf and then displayed it to her. With a raised eyebrow she quickly tossed the dusty thing into the trash box. "Let's just not show my friends this stuff," she smiled.

Mrs. Darlian tried to keep her laughter light as her daughter again waved the dust out of the air around her and continued digging. This was fun, but also very nostalgic for her, after all, her daughter had officially moved away from home, had her own life and career, and was not her little girl any longer.

She was getting used to that… slowly. She was sure that every mother thinks that these things come too fast, but in her case, they really did. After all, who expects their fifteen year old to become Queen of the World?

"When did I ever wear that size?" The muffled comment made her look up again to discover that Relena had squeezed herself past the doors and back into the side storage area between the walls.

A soft tap sounded on the door and Mrs. Darlian looked up to find Agent Yuy just visible through the open crack. "Come in please," she called.

The young man entered quietly as a muffled thud resounded against the closet wall. "I'm OK," came the muttered reassurance.

She turned back to the Agent and found him softly scrutinizing the closet and the mess of boxes surrounding it. "She may be here for a while," she stated.

"Hn." Turning back to her he nodded politely. "We're setting up the security shifts for the night and turning in."

Vaguely she wondered if he was always this professional… although she hadn't seen anything yet that would indicate otherwise. "Alright, thank you."

He was apparently about to leave when there was a squeak and a rustle from the closet again. "Help! Spider!"

Mrs. Darlian tried to hold back the laughter, looking up at the young man beside her. "Does your job description cover bugs, Agent Yuy?"

The mildly weary look he wore turned back to her before he blinked. "That depends if they're poisonous."

She covered her mouth with a hand as she giggled to herself over the comment. Relena had just managed to work her way back out of he cubbyhole, comically flailing about brushing off invisible cobwebs.

"Oh, ick," she muttered, finally turning around towards them. …And stopped dead.

Mrs. Darlian halted her giggles to look up between the two. "Are you alright?" he asked, obviously sure that she was.

"Fine," Relena squeaked with an embarrassed smile.

He nodded, having the good sense to decide against saying anything else. "Goodnight, then."

"Oh, goodnight," she said back.

The two women watched him leave, closing the door behind him. And her poor Relena visually wilted. "That man has the worst possible timing…."

Mrs. Darlian raised a skeptical smile as she chuckled. Holding out a hand she waved her daughter over to the bed. "That may be enough cleaning for one night," she said.

Relena seemed to silently agree as she stepped over the piles of things surrounding the doors. "I'll try to get some of the rest of it gone through tomorrow. You don't need all this stuff cluttered around."

"It's not going anywhere," she reassured her. The young woman flopped down to bounce on the edge of the bed beside her. She took the chance to admire the pendant visible at her throat, and then her daughter. Leaning in, she bumped shoulders with her and casually reached over to inspect the necklace closer. "It's a very pretty piece."

Relena started, but shook it off. "Yes, I thought so." Mrs. Darlian raised her eyes from her neck to her face, attempting to judge for herself. "What?" Relena mildly asked.

She knew what. And her mother had the answer she was looking for. Rising to her feet, she began inspecting the boxes laid out in front of them. "I have to keep remembering that you're far more mature than I was at your age."

Relena sat there, wondering exactly where her mother was going with this. …Although she was afraid that she knew that answer. "I'm not sure I would say that."

The woman rounded, giving her that patient look that she was famous for. "It's not easy for a mother to watch her little girl grow up so fast."

She favored her with a smile for the concern. "I'm sorry that I'm away so much."

She shook it off. "I understand. I knew what I was getting into with your father, and I came to terms with your travels years ago. Besides," she glanced back to the closed door, "you have friends to watch over you when I can't."

Yip, motherly guilt trip, she knew it was coming. "Mother…."

The woman turned back with a smile. "He is cute," she suggested.

Relena's eye bugged at this imposter that was obviously not her mother. "What?" she managed.

The older woman broke out and laughed at her expression. "Can't some old lady still think a young man is cute?"

"No!"

Her mother only laughed harder before coming back and sitting on the edge of the bed with her. "Well, I'll try to refrain from that then."

That was just… wrong, somehow, for some reason. Yes, just wrong.

Her eyes softened out to smile at her, and then they specifically picked out her necklace. "How long have you known Agent Yuy?"

Relena faltered. Her mother knew nothing of Heero's involvement during the war, but if she said he'd gone to school here, there were way too many people who knew their rocky start around here. "…I met him before, but he's been with the team several months now."

"So you've actually known him longer than that?"

"Yes," she answered, keeping it to a bare minimum.

Her mother nodded. "He seems very… strict."

_Unless you add in sneaking me out of his own security area._ "Well, he did make Agent in short order."

Her mother nodded. "He is very young for that kind of rank."

Relena smiled at her, "He's trained very hard."

"I can tell," the other mused. "He's rather… quiet, isn't he?"

"He's a quiet person. You just have to get used to him is all."

"Well, he has a sense of humor, but you probably have to get used to that too," she wondered out loud.

Relena frowned, "Why?"

Her mother blinked. "Oh, just something he said," she waved it off. "So, tell me," she again reached over to inspect the pendant, "what does this mean?"

"It was a birthday present," she answered automatically.

The older woman gave her a knowing glance. "From your security officer."

She mentally sighed. "Yes. What's wrong with that?"

Her mother shook her head. "Out with it, Relena. Tell your old mother what's going on."

"Nothing's going on." _Much_, she mentally added.

Her mother gave her the "I know you're lying" look, and she knew she was sunk. It didn't matter how much she could bluff through a presentation or board meeting, her mother had a sixth sense with her.

Relena let the act fall, scooting closer she wrapped her arms around her mother's waist and leaned her head on her shoulder like she used to when she was spilling something. "We're… close," she tried.

"Close? What does that mean?" came the soft coaxing.

She didn't know what that meant any better than her mother did. How was she going to explain this? "He's… always been there for me. Sort of. Oh," she faltered, "I don't know." There was a soft stroke through her hair. "After father, he really helped me get through that. You both did," she said quietly, knowing that her mother was still as tender, or more so, over the tragedy than she was.

"You knew him then?" she asked.

Deciding to spill may come back to haunt her yet. "He transferred into school just a couple weeks before."

"Oh," she whispered back to her. "Well then, I suppose that means he has excellent timing," came the comforting reply, and a small hug.

Relena chuckled at the comparison. "Yes, he does."

"Well, I'm glad you had him then," she concluded.

"I don't think he realizes yet how much it helped. …So don't say anything," she warned.

Her mother chuckled. "Yes, dear."

She snuggled back in. "But since he's been here… it's different." She fought for words. "He's different. And so am I, I guess. We've… gotten close," she slowly drew out.

"You care for him," she clarified.

"Yes." Closing her eyes, she let it go, "I love him. I… I think I'm really in love with him."

Apparently that wasn't the easiest thing for the mother of a seventeen-year-old politician to hear. Relena felt the shock tense her mother's arms around her shoulders. Slowly they softened back out, and she took the chance to move so that she could look up at her.

The older woman took a calming breath, and looked back down at her child. "You're awfully young to know something like that," came the cautious reply.

She softened her expression to a smile. "I know that," she whispered. Her mother looked visually relieved to hear that at least. Relena turned away enough to avoid her eyes for a moment to think. "I just can't find a way to describe it."

"You two are together a lot. It makes sense that someone so important to you would mean more than your other friends."

It almost sounded generic like that. Cheap, somehow, compared to what she felt for him. "It's not like that," she tried. "I honestly feel different beside him." She shook her head and looked back up at her mother. "He reminds me so much of father sometimes. Not necessarily what he does, but what he makes me feel like."

There was mild shock in the other woman's eyes as she looked down at her. Swallowing, she took another deep breath. "I just want you to be careful. You're still very young to be so involved, and…" she trailed off with a sigh. "You have always held a wonderful judgment of people, honey. Just remember you have the rest of your lives to sort things out."

Relena gave her mother a smile and hugged her again. But there, on her mother's shoulder, she closed her eyes on the thought that neither she nor Heero had the luxury of the assurance of another day alive and well.

Her mother squeezed her tightly, pecking a kiss onto her cheek.

* * *

There was a soft creak from the stairs, and a pause, before the whispered footsteps continued. She was getting better actually. If Heero hadn't been expecting her, she would have made it all the way to that loose third step before he ever would have noticed her approach.

As it was, he had noted the soft moan from her bedroom door… only about fifteen minutes after Delano's door had closed after his night watch. That was a little soon, but inside a bedroom, unsuspecting, Heero was sure the other man wouldn't have heard her slip out.

He stayed where he was, leaning against the patio doors in the library, staring out into the dark night. The footsteps slipped quickly around the stairs and were soon at the open doorway to the library, expertly stepping over the creaky board just inside the door.

He allowed himself a smirk as she made her way over to him. Definitely trainable.

"Good morning," she whispered. She came up beside him, a set of pajamas buried under the blanket she was trailing with her.

"You should still be asleep."

Her shoulders slumped just perceptibly under the blanket. Turning she looked up at him in the dim lighting coming through the glass door. "You have to know me better than that by now."

"Hn." Yes, he did. She hadn't slept tonight either, at least not much. He was… stalling. The whole day had been spent going through the things she had said on the way here, and he'd still come to no new realizations on what to say to her.

She smiled and shook her head at the comment. She focused back out the doors, "I wanted to be able to talk to you." It wasn't an accusatory statement. She actually seemed rather upbeat this morning. Surprising him, she turned again to look up at him. "I wasn't sure you wanted the others to know my present was from you."

That wasn't a conversation he expected. "They may as well know. And you shouldn't have to lie." In truth, some part of him wanted them to know. That touch of pride he'd become accustomed to had been happy to admit to it.

She gave him another smile and stepped in a bit closer to him, her blanket brushing against his crossed arms as he stood sideways, leaning on the doorjamb. "Thank you. I appreciate that. …And I certainly don't mind that they know."

He watched her a moment. Her silhouette in the dim streetlight that reflected in the doorway stood out to him. Her hair was left down, bunching half in and half out of the blanket around her shoulders. Her hands were together under her chin, holding the drapes of the fuzzy fabric around her, as she casually stood beside him.

And for whatever reason, he realized that he'd been worried for nothing. This was still Relena. Nothing had changed that. Not what he'd done, not what he'd told her… and apparently not what she'd said to him.

He'd realized somewhere on that little road this morning that it didn't matter what he did, or where he went. She was his.

It was both an obvious and an unrealistic idea. Relena had always seemed to hold him, emotionally, in a special place. She had continually sought him out for reasons he still didn't understand, and probably never would. She, in essence, had offered herself over to him in order to keep him next to her.

But the same determined drive and self-giving attitude she took with him, she also took with her work. Being beside her would involve more than he was sure he could give. He doubted himself in more areas than he knew what to do with at the moment.

That always tended to ease when she was beside him though.

Maybe he just wanted to forget about that when he was beside her. Her strength and character, and that un-relenting concern for him would tend to block out the obvious problems that assaulted them.

_Them._ He found himself thinking in terms like that now, although he knew he shouldn't. In the dark, still night, he would remember that he was allowing too much of himself to be controlled by one person. He was letting himself grow too close to a single girl, someone that he had sworn to protect, but someone who his job entailed that he was _not_ to have a romantic relationship with. …Whatever "romantic" technically referred to, although he somehow figured he'd already crossed that line.

And then, he would stand here, in the peaceful quiet of her actual presence, and he would realize that he wasn't allowing anything. He was being forced, fighting all the way, by his own emotions.

She was his. Maybe that went both ways.

He visually traced the gray outline of her face. The thought was numbing. His training, and every ounce of cold logic that he had relied on his entire life laughed at the stupidity of the comment. What sort of foolish arrogance did he have to think that anyone would just turn over their heart to someone like him? How inconceivably weak did he have to be to think maybe it wasn't just one sided?

But his mind could berate him all it wanted. Cold calculation was only ice, and it could be melted when a tiny flicker of pure joy seeped into his heart again. The same joy that he could surrender to when she laughed.

Surrender to her…. That was truer than he would have ever thought. He was trusting her with emotions that he had never experienced before, believing in her, somehow all-knowing, heart that wouldn't let go of him.

And Heero actually felt like something in him broke. The irrational fears that plagued him now and again, the joys that seemingly nothing would randomly inflict in him, the thoughts that ran rampant through him whenever he tried reasoning this out… made sense.

And it terrified him.

He slowly uncrossed his arms, reaching out for the one stable thing that he was tempted to pray would understand him. Relena mildly turned to face him when he moved to wrap his arms around her, but he couldn't look in her eyes, even if they really couldn't see in the dark. There was a tremble to his hand as he slipped them around her, and stepped in, intimidated to actually touch her. He balled it into a tight fist, frantic to hold some control.

Relena easily slipped up to his chest, her hands that had been tucked under her chin lightly placed themselves on him. "Heero?"

The softly whispered question stilled him, his arms only lightly brushing over the fuzzy blanket around her. His breathing was erratic, his heart rate was off the scale, and he couldn't answer her. He didn't want to answer anything. His voice didn't work, and there were no words for what was going through him anyway.

Finally he broke down. Wrapping her tightly in his arms, he pressed her to him. He dropped his head down to land against her shoulder, slouching into her.

"Heero?"

The question was surprised this time, worried. _No, please don't_, he mentally cried. _Please don't speak. Please don't ask. I don't know! Please understand!_

…And she did.

Her arms managed to snake out of his fiercely tight hold on her, and they softly slid around his sides and crossed over his back. His eyes closed under her soft caress and squeezed shut against the flood of conflicting voices in his head.

Half of them wanted to run away. Half wanted to just fall down on his knees and let her catch him. But none of them knew what to do, what to say, what to feel!

One of her hands gently rubbed against his back. She'd protect him. She had to. She was all he had, all he could count on.

He needed her.

And with that, every voice in his head stopped. His eyes snapped open, unseeing in the night's darkness. His stomach twisted painfully, squeezing the air out of him.

He couldn't have honestly just thought that….

Why not? What was he so deathly afraid of? Why the panicked terror when he finally realized that his emotions weren't conforming to what he wanted them to be? Why was it so wrong to believe that he cared for her so much?

Why the hell couldn't he admit it!

Again she rubbed gently on his back, a soft touch that was calling out for him.

Because it would mean surrendering. …And he wasn't ready for that.

He wasn't ready to be… loved. There were far too many things that he didn't believe he was capable of. There were things he wasn't worthy of, didn't deserve, and couldn't come to terms with.

But nothing he did would change what she felt. Whether he was prepared to accept her commitment to him or not, it was there. And he had no control over that at all. The only control he had was what to do with it.

He softly lifted his head from her shoulder just enough. "Relena," he whispered in her ear.

"Hm?"

Heero slowly closed his eyes, swallowing the dry lump in his throat. "I don't know what to say to you."

There was a long pause as she stood against him, confused. "About what?"

_Trust her_, he mentally pleaded with himself over and over again. "Relena…." Heero felt that same irrational fear stab through his chest, but forced it down, needing to say this. "I don't know how to love you back," he confessed, the words barely audible.

There was nothing for a few seconds, time that he couldn't find a way to breathe through. Then her arms around him tightened, her hands balled into fists around his shirt on his back. "It's OK," she whispered out, her breathing jagged.

"I don't want to hurt you," he stated immediately, afraid his callus words had already done that. She was holding him too tightly for him to move back to look at her, but he felt her mildly shake her head.

"It's OK," she reassured again. "It's alright, it really is."

He listened to her, felt her take a quieting breath and let herself slip back to normal.

"Heero. I don't want you to feel like you have to. It's alright if you don't. I just… I just need you to know. That's all. Just know," she whispered. Her hands went back to their soft caress, apparently trying to ease him as much as her words were.

He wasn't sure it worked, but it did at least take that knife of fear out of his heart. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

He meant it. For his entire life, he meant it. Everything that he'd put her through, done to her, and more. He meant it for his entire existence that cursed him this way, for the things she had nothing to do with that went against everything she stood for. He was sorry for not being the person she deserved, even before he met her.

He was sorry. He didn't know.

Her cheek brushed against his as she once again tightened her hold on him. "Heero, I love you," she whispered. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I don't expect anything. I just want you to understand how much you mean to me."

He didn't. He wished he did.

Slowly, he softened his emotions down, her words lulling him. There was no way for him to express what she meant to him… but there did seem to be one thing that he needed her to understand. "…I trust you."

* * *

"There's always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved." - W. Somerset Maugham

"Being in love shows a person who he should be." - Anton Chekhov

AN: I'm obsessing over these chapters, and I'm afraid that I'm taking too many liberties with our characters. You guys be sure to let me know what you think, good or bad, I want to improve. You are the best readers that anyone could ask for, and you deserve the best in return—_I_ want the best in return.

This chapter is dedicated to AMV creators out there. You wonderful people have made it so that I can't listen to the radio without putting the series to the songs. Well, in such a way, I found the song 'Cold' by Crossfade, and if you know the song, you might see a few influences in this chapter. Huggies to all! (I'd say kissies too, but that would probably be a very large lawsuit.)

… I'll shut up now.


	8. Chapter 8

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 8

"Good morning, Agent Yuy."

Heero looked up from his laptop as Mrs. Darlian came up to the patio table. "Good morning, Ma'am," he answered, moving to rise to his feet. He wasn't sure if that was the proper thing to do or not, but he'd noted a collection of men do it for Relena, and so he followed suit.

She stopped him halfway, waving him casually back down with a smile. Maybe he'd gotten that wrong…. "No need to be so formal with me," she brushed it off. "May I?" she asked instead, motioning to the chair beside him.

"Hn," he nodded. It was curious that she was instigating a conversation with him. For the most part, she seemed to be a rather soft-spoken woman, her manner much more reserved than most of the women he was around. Relena, Sally, Alli, Commander Une…. He did seem to collect the more outgoing types.

Regardless of his thoughts, she pulled out the chair and took a seat next to him. She turned to focus down the patio's length to the driveway not far away, where Ry had taken on Alli and Delano in a basketball game, with Relena keeping score. "They seem like quite the handful," she smiled.

He vaguely nodded, thinking that that was an understatement. "They can be."

She turned her smile back to him and Heero noted once again that she mirrored some of Relena's mannerisms. No wonder Relena didn't turn out like her brother.

"Agent Yuy—"

"Heero, please," he interrupted softly. She used the others' given names; it made sense that he should ask her to use his.

"Heero," she repeated still with her smile in place. "I had gotten the chance before you joined the team to give the group my personal thank you. I would like to do the same with you." She turned her eyes back to the others and her daughter, seated on the ledge at the side of the house. "I realize that this is technically your job, but still I feel it is important for me to tell you that I dearly appreciate all that you do for her."

He blinked, completely confused by the thanks.

Her smile turned wistful as the older woman continued her silent gaze her daughter's profile. "I always knew that Relena was special, even before she was actually 'mine.' But I could never have predicted what she would do with her life. I realize that I am no longer the one best suited to protect her."

Heero softly met the woman's eyes as she turned back to him, his surprise probably more than evident.

"She's always been a very persistent and… _determined_ girl. I won't say I envy your position," she broke a good-humored smile, and he couldn't help but, very mildly, return it.

She chuckled then and turned slowly back to the scene in front of them. Mrs. Darlian honestly surprised him.

"I am very happy that she has the group of you looking over her. And I am thankful that you're with them. It helps me let go a little," she seemed to confide.

What exactly did he say to that? This was as close as he had ever gotten to a mother's worry before.

Her eyes lowered and her smile slipped just a little as she found a spot on the tabletop. "Please look after her, Heero," she said quietly.

He blinked, the restrained emotions in her seemed very familiar to him for some reason. "I will."

Mrs. Darlian blinked, and softly looked back up at him, her eyes finding his. "Thank you." She meant it, and he could see a soft regard enter her eyes, an affectionate look that he was unfamiliar with, even from Relena. Something "maternal," he assumed.

He heard the footsteps, even before she did, but he let her turn to acknowledge Pegan first as the cheery butler bowed slightly. "Sorry to interrupt, but there is a phone call for you, Ma'am."

"Thank you," she smiled, rising quickly to her feet. "Good day, Heero," she gave him a last smile.

"Good day, Ma'am," he answered automatically, still feeling knocked off guard. What was it with this family…?

* * *

"Oh, I quit!" Alli huffed as Ry once again got the best of her, his shot perfect as it swished through the hoop mounted to the garage side.

"Come on, Petite, where's your sportsmanship?" he called after her as she walked over to Relena's seat on the decorative rock ledge that lined the driveway's side.

She promptly turned back and stuck her tongue out at him.

Relena laughed at them as Ry and Del continued with a one-on-one instead. Ry Noland was the sport's star, and they were all well aware of that. He had a height advantage on all of them, and was simply gifted. His history in the boxing and wresting circuits apparently wasn't his only skills.

"I'm joining the cheering squad," Alli announced as she plopped herself down next to her, and Relena choked back her laughter.

"I thought you were doing fine," she tried.

"I suck, I admit it, and I quit."

Relena shook her head and turned back as the two men battled it out. Movement off to the side by the house caught her attention as she turned to see her mother and Pegan walking back inside. Heero sat at a patio table, watching after them as they went, before turned slowly back to his laptop that he'd been working on.

That seemed odd, she thought. She cautiously watched as Heero placed his hands back on the keys and went back to whatever he was doing. Perhaps her mother had needed to ask a question? Or maybe something had come down from her house command back at her home?

Whatever it was, she brushed it off, turning back to the game as Alli called out encouragement for Delano, obviously being spiteful of Ry. Sometimes these two were just honestly funny in their relationship. "Come on Del, I won't call a foul!" she yelled again.

"Alli," she chided.

The other woman giggled at her and shrugged instead.

"You're not helping," Ry called back to her as he bounced Del the ball back to start the next run.

"I'm not trying to!"

Relena rolled her eyes again. "9 to 4, Del. Come on!"

The two started off again as Delano moved to one side and then faked back the other way. It wasn't enough to throw Ry off though, and he managed to tip the ball in mid-shot, knocking it over the garage roof instead. "Ah, crud," he cried, running for the side of the building where it was headed over the rows of shrubs in the yard beyond.

"Fetch boy!" Del yelled after him as he stayed on the driveway to wait. It didn't help the two girls' laughter any.

Ry went hopping over the row of shrubs along the side of the patio's edge and headed after the still rolling ball. He tossed a wave up as he went and Relena turned to realize that Heero had left his place at the table and was walking over towards them, coming around the flower planter they were sitting next to.

He paused to give Ry a curious look as he disappeared down the slope of the land and into the quiet tree line at the edge of the property. Relena tried to hold down her laugh at the mild look of abandon on him before he continued on.

She couldn't help but watch his approach as he casually looked after Ry's path. He wore a well-broken pair of jeans that fit snugly to his movements. The typical white button down had its sleeves rolled up almost to the elbows in the warm sunshine; the top button left open, and the hem un-tucked for the moment.

Sometimes she honestly pined for another look at that familiar green tank top. Her memories brought her smile down to a wistful smirk.

The moderate afternoon breeze tossed his disheveled hair even more, and wrapped the shirt around him enough to emphasize the ridged, ultra-slender V of his shoulders and chest. The tails of the shirt mildly flipped around his narrow hips as he moved down the steps at the edge of the patio and the driveway, coming back around towards them.

Relena sighed to herself at the image as he slipped around the ledge of the flower planter they sat on, his movements casual but always distinct…

"The man deserves his own theme song for a walk like that," Alli sighed next to her.

And just like that, Relena's little daydream ended abruptly. She turned fully around to face Alli and give her a disbelieving look.

The older woman blinked back to her a moment, and then snuck another quick glance in Heero's direction as he approached. "What?" she shrugged.

Relena just shook her head. Turning back she flashed him a smile as he stepped up next to them and silently took a seat on the other side of her, hopefully oblivious to both of them.

* * *

Relena pecked away at the computer in front of her as she rewrote the last two paragraphs for her speech next week before the finance commission. The group had left her mostly to herself for the time being as they spent a little down time here or there.

She'd taken up a space in her father's old den, feeling nostalgic for the oddly comforting sense of him still in these walls. She had only managed to walk in here a few times really since his death, and she was sure that her mother had the same trouble.

His desk was still laid out exactly as it always had been. Relena didn't have the courage to open any of the desk drawers, knowing she would probably find them completely untouched by anyone's hands but his. Still, the room didn't hold as much sadness anymore as it had. Now it held memories, and a comforting reminder to her. She was sure that her father would be happy for her about that.

As she pecked through the speech again, she turned her mind back over to what he would do in such a case. It was a question that she asked herself more often than not when dealing with some of these situations. Sometimes she knew that she was acting completely on her own, and that he would more than likely not have taken the same steps that she did. But usually she found herself at peace with the decision to take over his term.

She looked up to find Heero silently slip into the room. She smiled to herself as he quickly glanced around at the windows, ensuring they were closed. The afternoon breeze had picked up as a line of gray clouds moved in off the ocean. Early evening had turned dark as the sky gave in to the oncoming storm. The group must be helping to make sure that the house was closed up for her mother.

Relena pushed herself back from the desk a little as he finished his search and paced up beside her. "The weather looks like we're in for it," she commented. Somehow the small talk seemed a bit displaced between the two, but he easily nodded, coming up to lean onto the corner of the desk.

"Finance commission?" he asked, taking just a quick glance at the screen.

She nodded with a chuckle. Her poor group got in on listening to more of her speeches than even she wanted to hear. "Are you sick of the sound of my voice yet?" she teased.

He looked back down at her, his dark eyes seeming even darker in the dimming room. "No," he stated softly.

Heero was never one for an unnecessary amount of words, but he had a habit of tugging on her heart with a simple shift in his voice. Not that he ever had trouble tugging on it. "Good," she smiled. Taking a breath she turned back to the screen. "Because I think this is going to be a long one."

"Representative Crumbaker's was too."

She rolled her eyes and sighed to herself. The colony representative had a few valid points, but he tended to ramble endlessly whenever you put a microphone in front of him, and the ending session Friday was no different. "Yes, it was. And I'm not sure he's going to like me much when I get done with this."

"He will if he still wants your help on their colony's repair negotiations."

She found she couldn't argue with that, and then stopped. Glancing curiously back up to him again, she scrutinized him a moment. "Agent Yuy, you should be careful or I'm going to make a political aid out of you yet," she teased.

There was a trace of a smile to his eyes before he answered. "That's Alli's job."

She laughed more at his expression than his words. It was heartwarming to see that soft smile enter his eyes again. It alleviated some of the concern she felt. He had been though so much in past few days that she was honestly a little worried about him handling it all.

As it was, he seemed to be bouncing around in his own emotions, fine one minute, squeezing the life out of her for support the next….

She pushed that thought back. Whatever it was that had broken down in him this morning was probably her fault anyway. At times she honestly felt guilty for laying yet another burden on him when he already had a troubled spirit. Heero didn't deserve anything else to deal with right now.

She hoped that she had actually been a comfort to him, even though she wasn't exactly sure how to be.

They were interrupted as Ry poked his head in the doorway, did a quick search of the room, flashed them a comically goofy smile, and disappeared down the hallway again. She raised an eyebrow at the empty doorway. "Either he's still checking windows, or he's a very bad spy," she muttered.

Heero nodded beside her. "Both."

She bit back her laugh and shrugged, "He makes life interesting."

He gave her a very non-committal expression before turning away and leaving her to work. Relena went back to the computer and re-read the ending sequence again, until she noted that he hadn't left the room. Instead he leaned against the frame of one of the windows, watching the sky grow darker.

She watched his back for moment, wishing she knew how to delve a little deeper into what he was feeling. Although she wasn't sure she would be able to help even if she did know.

Her beloved Heero was nothing if not iron-willed, and he had a very hard time exposing anything but that strength of his. But he let her in, and that was more than she could ever ask for. He trusted her….

She let her eyes slip back to the screen although they weren't seeing anything. He trusted her. The words echoed happily and placed a warm blanket around her. The thought made her smile in spite of herself, unable to hold back the sheer joy of hearing him say that.

It wasn't just words either. His actions told her more powerfully than anything else this morning. He trusted her to understand him, which she didn't, but she tried. Probably more important, she didn't press him for what was wrong, why he seemed so hurt. If he could, he would have told her, she knew that.

Whatever it was that tore into him so badly, she felt privileged to be there. It sounded terrible, but inside, it made sense to her to feel that way. She wanted to be able to help him whenever he needed it. She needed to feel that she could walk him through it and protect him. Like the way he could with her.

He trusts her. Relena wasn't quite sure if he realized what those words meant to her. For him to be able to honestly trust her meant that he cared about her enough to _let_ himself trust her. And though she was sure he was still struggling with that some, nothing he could have said would have meant more to her.

From Heero, those words meant so much more than they could from anyone else she had ever known.

Staring down at her father's desk, she realized the men in her life had never exactly made it easy on her. And she knew that she wouldn't love them in the ways that she did if they had been. Trial by fire was ingrained in her anymore.

Looking back over to his profile, she smiled to herself. _Father, what you must think of me now…_ Strength and commitment seemed to be the only things that these two men had in common, and yet, that was more than enough.

Relena turned back to the computer again, but only to save her work this time before she sent the file back to herself at her office. She clicked the thing off and then casually walked over next to him. Not giving him the chance to really acknowledge her, she slipped her arms around his waist, and snuggled herself against his back. She wanted the feel of him… and she wanted him to know that she was right here, no matter where his mind may be wandering.

She wanted to watch over him.

Heero stared out the window at the remaining open sky. The rain had started even before the patch of blue was completely covered, making it an odd sight with the pattern of raindrops on the windows.

For once, his mind was mostly at peace. And he was sure that it had a lot to do with the woman behind him, her chin on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his waist. He'd taken an unobtrusive position at the window so he wouldn't disturb her any farther, watching curiously for the rain to come.

He hadn't been on Earth long enough to have gotten entirely used to the idea of these drastic turns in the weather, so they made for an interesting distraction. Relena had apparently decided that a vigil at the window sounded more interesting than working on her speech as well.

He couldn't say that he minded.

The clouds moved quickly, the blotchy grays blocking out the soft blue of the sky beyond. Somehow it had a closing effect, as if the whole world was shrinking in around them. And maybe it was. Time seemed to actually move a little a slower with the darkening sky and the roar of the wind gusts that threw the drops against the windowpanes.

Relena seemed to notice it too as she snuggled in even closer to him, her chest against his back and her arms warm around him. He found the feeling a bit odd, but couldn't seem to dwell on it as they silently stood together.

He was getting more and more used to that idea. For everything that he had gone through in past few days, he really felt that she could take it away from him. Protect him from it. Her warmth was more than the camaraderie that he understood as friendship. Slowly he was starting to try to put feelings into a definition again, except this time it was love that he was trying to define.

He had no idea where to begin. He'd done a quick inventory of the couples that he knew that he would associate with love. There weren't many, and it still didn't get him anywhere. He was beginning to find that there was no distinctive pattern, and therefore, no easy classification.

Heero was mildly annoyed that so many things in his life these days were indefinable.

The wind whipped harder, the trees at the edge of the property line leaned with the strain, and some of the leaves were being torn from the branches as the sky darkened even farther. He blinked out at the force of the gusts as more and more water was flung by the winds until any landscape over fifty yards out was nothing more than a gray wall. There finally came a rumble of thunder, but it was weak compared to the ravages of the winds.

"This is going to get worse," Relena mildly stated, probably more to herself than to him.

Heero turned as far as he could to glance at her from the corner of his eye as her chin still lightly rested on his shoulder. Always the concerned one, she was probably worried about the potential damage to the area if the winds increased farther, or if they forced rainwater into buildings or basements.

Always the worried one. It was because she could sympathize so well with those around her.

She could sympathize with him. Even though she couldn't understand his life before her—could never understand it—she was willing to dive into him without a second thought in order to know him. There was a difference between those two things. He wondered idly if there was a word for feeling that you knew someone, but didn't honestly understand them.

But she accepted him. That same feeling of finally being in a place he was wanted came back as she held onto him. She trusted him. She wanted him by her side, and could give a purpose to his life again. She loved him.

The thought echoed in his head as the storm continued on outside, mirroring a few of his emotions that dared to peek back out again after their unsettling encounter early this morning.

He still wasn't sure exactly what to do or where to go with this, but he had slowly drawn off of her calm. He had needed her reassurance. He'd needed to know that he wouldn't hurt her again by nothing more than being who he was.

She would protect him… mostly from himself. And he, in turn, would attempt to do the same. As frightening as that seemed to him, he couldn't have asked for anything more. And he knew he needed it.

He needed her…. It would take some time to come to terms with that.

But the reciprocal was to believe that she needed him too. Not just as a guardian, but for a… a what? A… whatever he was. Anyway, that she needed him too. Maybe she always had in a way. It would tend to explain a few of the odd reactions that she had to him during the war.

Somehow, he didn't mind being needed.

Her mother's words this afternoon had struck a cord in him deeper than he would have thought possible. Mrs. Darlian really seemed like an older version of Relena to him, the two shared enough similarities in his mind. But as a mother, she had a completely different set of worries and fears.

Fears that she was counting on, even needing, Heero to take care of for her, since she couldn't. "_I realize that I am no longer the one best suited to protect her."_ Did that mean that he was?

Somehow he wasn't sure that he deserved that kind of trust from the older woman. If she knew his past it would more than likely destroy her faith in him. But she had, in a way, handed Relena off to him—to them—as her protectors. Her mother had given her away to him.

If there was ever a more sobering thought than that, he didn't know one. And there was no way for him to refute her. He had basically made a promise to her today to look after her daughter, to keep her safe. And considering the source, keeping her safe meant more than just physically healthy.

Possibly the person who loved Relena most in her life had entrusted her to him.

He was sure that Mrs. Darlian told him the truth that she had said a thank you to the rest of his team as well, and had asked them to watch over her too. However, he couldn't help but feel that there was something different. Her words were not rehearsed. He felt personally singled out for that speech.

Maybe he was being prideful to think of it like that. But in any case, he had answered her honestly enough. And, to be truthful, they both wanted the same thing for Relena, making it easy for him.

He hoped.

There was a howl from the wind against the walls of the house and a rattle started from the side wall of the den they were in. Relena turned with him to notice one of the windows on the wall vibrate with the beating winds. She slipped away from him and walked over to the side-by-side window frame. Placing a hand against the molding she held it steady while she reached up and flipped the locking lever.

"I haven't seen a storm like this in a long time," she said, not really moving from the window. He paced over next to her again, not entirely sure how to respond to that. This window faced the side yard, although nothing could be seen through it. Water was being blown at an almost horizontal angle straight into it, washing down in waves.

He saw her move a hand to ball up over her heart, an absent mannerism when she was worried or nervous. At the moment, he couldn't figure out exactly why. Regardless, he stepped in, placing a hand on one of her shoulders. It was odd how the idea of instigating a touch sometimes still felt uneasy.

Relena didn't seem to notice the slight hesitation as she moved one hand to cover his, and moved her face towards him. That response to him, to a touch, always seemed to get to him. It was a non-verbal explanation of what she felt for him. Maybe he'd known that all along.

Turning, she let his hand go as she faced him. Slipping in, she easily wrapped her arms around his neck and met his eyes. The move surprised him, but the concern in her eyes confused him more. "Tell me you'll be alright?" she whispered.

It took him a moment to figure out she meant emotionally.

He softly raised his hands to settle against her sides. Heero realized that no matter what happened outside, her sky blues never seemed to be clouded with anything more than pure-hearted worry.

He nodded to her, actually believing it himself, but not exactly knowing why. Whether he had accepted both his own situation, and her feelings towards him, or he was just comfortable enough here to shelve it, he wasn't sure.

But the answer seemed to ease her, and she smiled up at him. "I hope so." That same concern over him. He was going to have to get used to it.

The thought was enough to help him return her smile. Moving in, she closed them together, hugging him tightly. He returned the move, one of his hands gently tangling in her hair.

Again the wind howled against the window and they parted only enough to look out at the raging storm. After a moment, she laid her head back, nuzzling into his shoulder and neck, and he wrapped her in a bit closer.

He would keep his promise to protect her. From anything.

Himself included.

* * *

"I'd like to apologize."

Heero had been told to take a chair in front of Commander Une. She was calmly seated behind her desk, her elbows holding up her folded hands. He blinked at her, confused.

Before going any farther, she rose to her feet and turned away to gaze out of her wall of windows. "I made a decision to put you in a position that I knew very well you didn't want to be in last week."

He scrutinized that a moment as she turned back to face him. For all practical purposes she had done the correct thing. He and Wufei were the ones best suited to lead an attack like that. It was only his personal reasons that held him back. And she knew that. She had been beside Relena and MarieMaia when he'd made his profession.

"I should have been more elegant with my decisions," she apologized.

He found that to be an odd way to put it, but stood to his feet as well. "I made a decision then that has proven to be… unobtainable," he stated simply. "There are still things that I would kill for. Because there are still things that I would die for." He watched her eyes widen a moment, their look one of a soldier's respect that he knew she had. "They have to be the same now."

She nodded slowly, understanding. He gave her a quick nod of respect, and turned to leave the room. There was no other choice that he could make now. Heero was sure that she had originally planned to make a promise to leave him out of such subsequent missions. But he had no need for that kind of treatment from her.

He didn't have to like the things he still had to do, but if it prevented someone else from being trapped in that type of life, he would continue. There were still reasons he knew he could fight for.

…_I have a conscience to answer to now._

* * *

"The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper." - Aristotle 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: My deepest apologize for leaving you all hanging for such a long time. I do hope that you'll forgive how sporadic I'm being. Please read and enjoy. :)

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 9

Heero sat on the ledge of the flower planter that ran at the top of the wall around the patio, rising from a low ledge near the driveway, but up to an eight-foot wall towards the other corner to shelter in the dance floor-type area. In front of him was his laptop as he electronically set the new cameras into correct alignment to overlap as many places as possible around the perimeter.

The storm that had washed through during their last trip to Relena's mother's estate had literally mangled one of the motion sensor relays, and several of the cameras had to be replaced due to extensive water damage.

The breakdown of the outside security net around the house had put them on high alert for the night, and had forced them to return to the capital earlier than expected, cutting her visit short. Relena had spent the night in a different room than normal with Alli as a constant companion. The others had taken up the night watch shifts to ensure that no one would take advantage of the situation.

No one had.

Relena had not been scheduled to try to return to her mother in the past three months, and therefore the priority level for the order was lowered. But by now the system had been repaired and the new equipment was in place.

Heero had volunteered to return himself to ensure that the equipment passed a thorough test, and that it would be in functioning order for the next time Relena came here.

The trip seemed odd without her. He had driven out this morning, catching the workers a bit off guard that someone from Headquarters was out to check their work so quickly. He didn't mind. He had plans to check out all of their records and to ensure that they were in proper order before allowing Relena anywhere inside their security zone.

The local Preventers and the contracted laborers were gone now, having finished up the last of the system checks this morning. This left Heero as the only one around who would know the exact setup and camera and sensor placements.

He didn't mind that either.

Electronically maneuvering the camera at the corner of the patio wall, he checked for proper rotation and quickly adjusted to over compensate into the path of the house's side equipment. If someone had to take the time to undermine two sensors instead of just one, it would delay their entrance.

Satisfied with the arrangement, he thumbed through the scenes being fed to his laptop, searching the images for any maneuverable loopholes. There were a couple of course, but nothing that would be easy, and he would even be pressed to escape detection completely.

Exactly as it should be.

Closing the laptop down, he effortlessly hopped off the wall, landing inside the patio and heading for the side entryway. Squashing down the feeling that he was sneaking around in Relena's former home, he made his way up to the third floor again and into the command room, double checking that everything was in order and sending the message back to her house command that he would be shutting the system down until needed.

Packing his laptop and the rest of his equipment he slipped back downstairs, casually wondering whether or not to inform Mrs. Darlian or Pegan that he was leaving. Figuring it would be the polite thing to do, he searched the area, finally finding Mrs. Darlian in the front sitting room with her ever-present knitting…crocheting…'thingies.'

She looked up at him as he entered the room, flashing him a warm smile that he wasn't sure he deserved out of her. "Is there something you need, Heero?" she asked.

"No, Ma'am. I'm finish. I'll be leaving now. The systems are ready and there shouldn't be any other repairs needed," he simply stated.

"Oh. You're headed back yet tonight?" she asked, her work falling to bunch in her lap.

He blinked. "Yes, Ma'am."

"It's a long drive, and it will be dark soon. You are more than welcome to stay here for tonight and head back in the morning. Have you had anything for dinner?" she asked, setting the yarn and hook aside and standing to her feet.

"No, I'm fine," he answered, wondering why she was taking such an interest.

She gave him a slightly worried expression that confused him even more. "Heero, I really wish you would reconsider. I hate to think of you heading back alone at this time."

He oddly wondered why she believed it was any more dangerous to drive at night as it was during the day, an ambush could just as easily be hidden during full daylight hours. And it was only sunset now, a three hour drive would put him back in his apartment at a 'respectable' time, not that he cared.

Sending him a smile, she tilted her head to the side. "Listen to me. I can't get past that motherly worry, can I?"

Heero wasn't exactly sure he was supposed to answer that. "Hn," he tried.

"But really. I will insist that you at least have something for supper. You can decide from there," she stated, walking forward towards him.

He'd seen army commanders and war generals in full tactical display. He'd faced innumerable soldiers. He had been given orders, both direct and indirect, from a huge variety of individuals that he had needed to stake his life on.

…And never before had there been a single person that he just could not figure out how to say no to.

* * *

The security perimeter was down… on purpose. The inside system was set only as a casual afterthought when Pegan remembered to turn it on for the night. There was no viable excuse for a night watch. And Heero laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, watching the shadows of the tree outside the window softly stir in the night breeze.

How did he get himself into this?

He had absolutely no purpose in being here. He should have simply left after he finished his assignment. A quick drive and he would at least be alone in his apartment. Not to mention that he was currently an hour and a half away at top speeds from Relena now, should something happen at her house.

He was being paranoid. She had her full shifts and complete set up on the house. Nothing out of the ordinary.

…Aside from Dorothy Catalonia's visit.

Somehow, the thought of the other longhaired blond being in the same house with her only increased his nervousness. Nothing he could do about it though. Commander Une had given the woman full clearance and a civilian badge even before he had joined the Preventers. He wasn't sure how those two fit together, but Dorothy's Romafeller background was even more extensive than Une's, that was more than likely the reasoning.

He stared up at the swaying shadows, wondering again how Mrs. Darlian had talked him into staying. Actually, she hadn't really talked him into agreeing; she just sort of… didn't give him the option of refusing.

Heero would have never suspected that Relena and Mrs. Darlian weren't actually related if he didn't know better.

As it was, he was trapped in a very uncomfortable position all evening. Mrs. Darlian was a very polite and soft-spoken woman, but he just honestly did not know what to say to her. Silences had stretched between them as neither could figure out how to start a conversation.

As it was, the lady had asked several things about his past, which had made it painfully obvious that she didn't know his real history, which he somehow found very hard to believe. Pegan had remained quiet through their 'conversations' for the most part as well; never letting on that he knew Heero was lying.

She had said that Relena told her he had attended school here for a time and he had agreed to that. Of course her next question was if he had any family in the area, to which he could only reply that he didn't have any… anywhere. Attempting to stick to his neatly laid out history that was sealed away in his personnel file was a challenge after that.

Finding that he was originally Colony-born, she had asked a few things about L1, reminiscing from when she had accompanied her husband a few times. Apparently the woman wasn't all that well traveled aside from that. He'd attempted to answer a few things; mostly to inform her that some of the places she remembered were no longer there.

All in all, it really wasn't a pleasant evening.

However, Mrs. Darlian had taken quite an interest in him, and he had picked up a number of 'formal' verses 'too formal' definitions, which he was still attempting to get a handle on, from her. He had noted the older woman as a possibly valuable assistant in learning the ins and outs of 'polite society' and had told himself to keep an eye on her.

She had finally turned towards his schooling, asking if the Preventers were allowing him the chance to finish his high school courses while in service, as the Minster was allowing Relena to take the tests on the side. He had informed her that he had achieved his high school equivalent over a year ago, and was now working on college replacement testing.

In order to live alone as a minor, legally, an individual had to attain a replacement diploma, which Heero had easily tested out of, also legally, after the war. Part of his self-made list of items that needed to be done before he felt he could move on with whatever life he was trying to hash together.

After joining the Preventers, it was simple enough to place himself in a small two bedroom apartment on a main cross street 1.7 miles from Relena's estate. It was an ideal placement.

With a large collection of free time in the evenings, even after joining, college replacement courses were a nice fit to his schedule. The self-taught courses and the by appointment test times allowed him any flexibility that Relena's schedule required of him. Of course, more important than filling time, they were also an easy way to fill out his personal credibility, and add to his record should he suffer another background check.

Being this close to Relena Darlian meant that someday someone was going to want to know his personal life as well as his career. He'd seen it happen to others a number of times by now, mostly in trash columns or magazines, but it could cause quite a bit of trouble around political circles.

It honestly didn't seem to be advantage for a politician to have a public relationship with basically anyone. Another fact that tended to worry him from time to time. He wasn't all that concerned with his real history coming out, considering the amount of work and money spent on covering any and all tracks of the five of them and Zechs.

Having Commander Une in her position was very convenient for such things. She had incurred enough allegations, usually correct ones, during the formation of the Preventers that had, very specifically, come to nothing that most credible agencies wouldn't even touch such rumors anymore.

And having Relena Darlian's personal seal of approval on her was like a gold hallow that no one wanted to touch.

The thought absently placed a small smile on his face in the darkened room. Anything Relena touched seemed to turn to gold, even the war-torn and battered souls she seemed to collect.

And aside from all that, Commander Une had a very nice handle on the mainstream media these days too, which did tend to make life easier for all of them.

However, should a breath of any type of 'involvement' ever come out of Relena's circle, he had no doubt that even the Preventer forces couldn't stop the digging and dirt throwing. Even without such an invitation the media enjoyed toying with the idea.

Heero had honestly found three different articles relating to the possibilities of a joining of the two most note-worthy pacifism families in the Earth Sphere several months ago when Relena had taken the invitation to visit the new colony that Quatre had helped construct. It was almost enough to make him laugh when Quatre was described as a young, eligible bachelor firmly rooted in Relena's ideals of total pacifism, as was always denoted in his family line.

And Duo wondered why no one ever suspected Quatre of being a pilot.

But the fall out from a single trip to visit someone of 'eligible bachelor' status had made Heero realize that if his name was ever called out in such a way, it could be messy. The first thing they would find would be the Presidential assassination attempt and his receipt of the Medal of Valor, which Relena enjoyed teasing him was the first one given under the new, unified government.

However much he didn't care about the worthless thing, it would be a nice mark on his record. And hopefully so will the replacement courses. Something told him he was going to need positive notes, because if the former Queen of the World ever got paired with a Preventer Special Agent, he was going to have to get very cozy with Zechs and Noin on Mars.

He absently wondered if there was a way to get Quatre to rub a little of his own hallow off on him too. Heero had a feeling that he would need it.

Of course, should the world ever find out that Quatre Raberba Winner, the 'pacifistic' Colony elite, was somehow involved with a Romafeller family fortune holder, that hallow might be worn through rather quickly.

To the general public though, Lady Dorothy Catalonia had no history. She was simply the heiress to her grandfather's estate. As a woman she could not hold a membership, and did not have any 'official' part during the war.

And he had no doubt that she would come with one of those golden Vice Foreign Minister's seals if the time ever came. Heero didn't have to like it, but it was there.

And the two girls were probably both asleep across the hall from each other right now. Yeah, Quatre may trust her, but Dorothy still didn't settle his nerves any.

* * *

"We are not."

"Liar."

"Dorothy, I am telling you, we are not."

"And I think you're lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"You just can't admit it, can you?"

"Admit to what?"

"Miss Relena, you can tell me."

"No. And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"I know you were at Quatre's all week, Dorothy. That seems to be much longer than you thought you were going to stay."

"Something came up."

"Like what?"

"…Nothing interesting. Now, back to you. Where is Heero anyway?"

"Why back to me?"

"Because I asked."

"Oh, good grief. Heero was at my mother's today."

Dorothy was seated sideways in the overstuffed chair across the coffee table from her in the East sitting room. The two girls still hadn't turned in for bed, and Relena was sure that she was going to regret this in the morning. As it was, she was laid out on the couch, conserving energy for an argument that had been raging since the other got here last night.

The paler blond about spit out her cocoa at the last bit of information though. "Visiting his in-laws? How cute."

Relena blinked at her, annoyed, as she hugged the decorative couch pillow under her head. "We had damage to the perimeter system there the last time I was out and Heero went to finalize the preparedness settings."

Dorothy gave her a weary expression. "Could you say that again in non-Heero speak?"

Relena faltered, realizing that she'd just used minor jargon… correctly. "Imagine that," she whispered to herself.

Dorothy just died laughing, shaking her head at the idea. "Too long, Relena. You've been around him too long."

Relena laughed at herself too, and snuggled farther into the pillow. "Not long enough," she softly corrected, closing her eyes and resting a moment.

"Ah," the suspicious purr snapped her eyes back open, realizing that she'd said that out loud. "And why, pray-tell, would that be?" Dorothy batted her eyes at her.

Relena started, "Well, it's just nice to have him around."

The other gave her a long sigh and tilted her head back against the chair, her bare feet swishing slowly back and forth as her knees hung over the arm of the thing. "Relena, 'nice to have around' is something you say about a toaster, or a miniature six-shot revolver. A man is never 'nice to have around.' He has to either be integral or merely inconsequential."

Relena raised an eyebrow at her. "Really?"

"Yes," she stated proudly.

Laughing to herself she rolled over onto her back. "Integral then, I suppose."

"Very good. Now, we understand fully that Special Agent Heero Yuy is of great importance to you as a security provider. But would you like to inform me of what other areas he may classify as an 'integral' person to you?"

Rolling back to her side, she raised herself to look over at Dorothy. "How much do you have left before you take your bar exams?"

She laughed and brushed if off. "Alright, fine. Are you madly in love with him or not?" she asked, the question coming with a bored, superior tone.

"You know, I've never liked that expression," she skirted the issue. "Does anyone really assume that you have to be insane to fall in love with someone else?"

Dorothy dropped her head back with a groan. "Well, we are talking about Heero-I don't believe in emotions-Yuy, you know."

"Oh!" she cried, aghast at the description. Sitting up quickly she took her pillow and flung it at the older girl.

Dorothy comically deflected it with one hand, not even spilling her mug of hot cocoa she was holding. Finding that didn't work, she launched into something else. "Well it can't be as bad Quatre Raberba-please let me apologize _again_-Winner."

"You know, he'd be very hurt if he heard you say that," she tried to say with a straight face, which didn't work.

Relena shook her head. "I don't mean that, anyway," she relented. "How did you of all people end up with Mr. Sensitivity, again?" she reasoned out loud.

"I didn't 'end up' with anything," she specifically stated. "We're friends."

Relena rolled her eyes and slumped back down, missing her pillow but too lazy to get up and retrieve it from the floor beside the coffee table. "Please Dorothy, even I know that there's no such thing as a 'we're just friends' relationship between a guy and a girl."

"I have lots of 'just friends' relationships with guys… I don't really have any girl friends."

"Nice to know I'm appreciated," she bitterly sighed.

"Well, you excluded," she mumbled off-hand.

"I don't believe you," Relena stated again, returning to topic.

"Well, that makes two of us," she snipped.

"You know, it has been a while since I've talked to Quatre. I should really call to chit-chat." Relena sat up, the smile tugging at her lips as the idea caught on.

"Go ahead," Dorothy waved her off. "He won't tell you anything different."

Relena sighed at the lack of enthusiasm on her friend's part in this. She didn't really feel like spying on the two of them, it was just a convenient excuse to change the subject away from Dorothy's insistent questioning about her and Heero. If possible, she was worse than Duo, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep either one of them at bay.

Dorothy absently went on, "Ten credits say he hasn't left the office yet anyway."

Relena gave her a knowing smile. "Well, he does have to make up for being distracted so much last week."

"I was not a distraction," the other snipped.

"Did he have to work late any night you were there?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"He had a dinner meeting… once."

Relena specifically laughed at the bitter admission. "You two are cute," she sighed to herself.

Dorothy specifically ignored her as she sipped at her cup again.

In all truth Relena was a little worried about her begrudged friend. She had called Dorothy early last week just for a quick chat as she was slowly working at a real relationship with the Lady in front of her. After their Mars episode it was easier to fall back into step with her, and Dorothy did honestly have some very good advice on things from time to time, having known a number of politicians during her upbringing.

But during that particular conversation Relena had discovered that she was actually in L4 having a heart to heart with Quatre… except not about Quatre. It had turned out that Dorothy's shaded past was a bit more interesting than Relena would have thought. During a rather common trek home for her, she had been confronted by an ex-boyfriend, ex-love interest, ex-something, and had not walked away from the encounter all that well.

Finding the story a rather heartbreaking one, she had offered for the longhaired woman to come and stay with her for a few days until she felt ready to go back to her childhood home. That had been a week ago, and she had just now made her way back from Quatre's.

"Dorothy?" she began, not sure if she wanted to breach the subject or not. The other turned her cool gray-blue eyes to her, and she searched them. "I know it's been a while now. Are you all right with this whole thing with your… friend?" She wasn't sure what else to call him.

"Andrew?" she clarified with the name for her again. "Yes, I'm fine," she easily answered. "It was a bit of a shock at first is all."

She turned back to her cup again and Relena gave her an incredulous stare. "A bit of a shock?" she whispered. "Dorothy, the man professed to have been in love with you two years ago when you left for my school, and then just walked out on you again. I'd say that was a little more than a shock."

The other shrugged, but slowly nodded. "It probably won't be pleasant when I talk to him again."

Relena was about to interject again, but kept her peace. She was beginning to see why Quatre had been concerned about Dorothy going back there and facing this man again. She worked her words around a moment before continuing. "You're not worried about him anymore?"

Dorothy raised her eyes to meet hers again from across the small room. "Worried? No. Andrew was a dear friend to me most of my life. The idea that I hurt him so badly by not going back to the estate after the war doesn't sit well with me, but I can't undo the hurt I've caused him. I hope that he'll let me apologize, and then I guess I will have to let him go."

"Can you?" she softly asked.

The other sighed, swishing her legs back and forth over the chair's arm again. "I haven't truly even spoken with him since I left. I suppose I can't suddenly take an active interest again now, can I?"

Relena wanted to help, she really did, but she found herself at a loss. Dorothy wasn't telling her the whole story, either because she didn't feel that they were close enough, or she just didn't want to get into it again. Well, perhaps all of this time spent cajoling Heero into actual conversations would pay off. "Do you really want to see him again?" she cautiously began.

Dorothy blinked back her own thoughts before looking at her again. "I don't feel right leaving it as it is."

Relena laid back out on the couch, her pajama bottoms bunching up on her legs as she tried to absently kick them back down. "I mean, do you want to try to re-start your relationship with him?"

Her casual demeanor and lack of eye contact worked as it was supposed to and Dorothy turned back to her cup to think a moment. "…I don't know," she quietly answered.

There. Relena had finally slipped in under the defense line. Why did some people make things so hard, she wondered? She waited now, almost physically feeling the thoughts ticking over in the other's head. Once in a while she was thankful for having a 'stoic' for a boy—security commander.

"I don't think we'd be able to move past this and be just friends again. At least not easily. And I've hurt him too badly to think of trying to work towards a romantic relationship," she softly talked out.

"Would you have wanted one?" Relena mildly asked, still not looking over at the other girl, trying to make her feel she had a sense of privacy.

"Not really. I'd feel chained to him. I'd be constantly worried about hurting him again. Besides," she waved it off once more, "Andrew honestly wouldn't know me anymore. I'm different than he remembers me being."

Relena nodded, knowing her little window of free speech was closing again. "We've all been through a lot. It's hard not to change."

Dorothy merely hummed an acknowledgement, and took another sip of her drink.

Yes, they'd all changed, drastically too. Perhaps no one knew that better than she did. Once in a while she would remember back to her oblivious high school days and wonder how she never noticed the world going on around her. Sometimes it still amazed her that she never decided to just run away, hide, forget all about it. She had enough excuses to.

But she had a problem doing that now too. There was something in her that needed to be in the thick of things, wanted to be involved, and desperately needed to be able to help. She should just count herself very lucky that she had such a wonderfully 'lenient' security team.

"I do suppose that I should let you turn in, Miss Relena," Dorothy broke into her thoughts. "The Vice Foreign Minister needs her beauty sleep," she teased.

Relena sighed to herself but then giggled at the comment. "I'm in office all week, the only thing I need to look good for are the security cameras."

"Can't Heero fix that? Honestly, this place is wired enough, isn't it?"

She nodded to herself, agreeing completely. "His hands are pretty tied with it too. Besides, he's as paranoid as headquarters is sometimes."

"Can't let you get away now," Dorothy smirked.

"As if he's ever had to worry about that," Relena made them both laugh.

"Someday, I have every confidence that you'll get him to surrender."

"Surrender?" she sniffed. "Dorothy do you ever think in normal terminology?"

The other gave her a dramatic sigh, "You are courting the affections of a solider, Miss Relena. And, not just any solider either. You may do better if you realize that everything is ones and zeros, and terms like 'surrender' are going to be much more prevalent than things like 'love.'"

"Well, does Quatre know how much of a hopeless romantic you are?" she rolled her eyes. "What do you say to sweet talk him? 'Darling, I'd follow you into battle any day.'"

That got an honest laugh out of her friend. "Truth be told, Quatre is one of the only people I'd follow into battle. But he's easy," she waved it off. "He's nothing more than a kitten. Take him by the scruff of the neck and you can lead him anywhere."

Relena elbowed up to stare over at her as Dorothy sat, quite content, with an evil little smirk on her face and her eyes closed. "I don't even want to know how you know that. What is that supposed to mean, anyway?" she asked incredulously.

As soon as Dorothy turned her eyes to meet her, Relena knew she shouldn't have asked. "Everyone has a weak point," her eyes narrowed. "Sometimes you just happen to find it."

Relena giggled at the idea, for some reason just finding it shamefully funny that Dorothy was talking like that. "And you 'just happened' to find Quatre's?" she teased, not being able to hold back.

"Yes, well," the other continued her evil little smile. "Some people are easier than others."

Relena laughed harder. "And how exactly do you go about searching for this 'weak spot?'" she raised an intrigued eyebrow.

Dorothy turned, sitting upright in the chair across from her and setting her cocoa mug neatly down on the coffee table between them. "You mean you haven't found Heero's?" she teased.

She sheepishly rolled her eyes and turned away to lie back down. "I haven't been looking."

"Well now, where's the fun in that?" came the coy little reply.

"Dorothy, quit," she admonished, feeling her cheeks warm.

"Oh," she cooed. "Miss Relena, it's nothing depraved. Something quite innocent really. Just a place, or a particular touch, just a special little show of affection."

"Just how 'affectionate' have you been with poor Quatre?" she accused, rolling onto her side to look at her.

Dorothy raised a trademarked eyebrow at her, neatly crossing her legs in front of her. "Apparently more than you've been if you haven't figured this out yet," she returned.

Relena felt her face warm farther and turned back away from her. "I thought you two were just friends."

"Well, what are the two of you?" came the purr of her question.

She bit her lip at the insinuation and giggled nervously.

That was apparently all the other needed before she burst out laughing. "How long are you going to keep this up?" she finally asked. "I don't have all year, you know."

"I'm going to bed," she announced instead, hastily rising to her feet.

"No you're not. Not until I get what I want."

Relena raised both hands to her hips and stared her friend down. "There are advantages to having six security personnel around this house," she warned.

Dorothy smirked. "And you think that would faze me?" she snorted. "I have exactly as long as it takes Heero to get here before I'm viciously murdered." Folding her hands together under her chin, she went all starry-eyed. "And then you two can have some grand, romantic scene where he sweeps you away from my bullet riddled body and passionately confesses… who am I kidding," she muttered, instantly loosing the acting skills she was just displaying.

She had to collapse back to sit on the couch again before she double over from laughing.

"Knowing my luck, I'd die for it and he'd just mumble how he never liked me anyway," Dorothy sighed to herself.

Relena had to wipe a tear out of her eye by the time she re-composed herself. "I'm sure Heero likes you just fine," she tried to sooth.

"I'm sure he doesn't," she snipped back.

"Well, you happen to have a history that doesn't agree with him," Relena shrugged.

"Maybe I should have stabbed him too," she mused.

Relena frowned, crinkling her eyebrows at her. "What?"

Dorothy sobered and then gave her a humorless smile. "Never mind." Rising to her feet she collected their cups from the table.

Relena specifically decided that she didn't want to know. The two women walked out of the private sitting room and made their way to the kitchen to deposit their dishes and then up the stairway to the bedrooms. Relena sort of enjoyed the fact that in the monitored rooms and hallways of the house Dorothy couldn't force a comment about her and Heero, it was a forbidden topic in front of the cameras.

So instead, Dorothy glided easily into her own sitting room, which was adjacent to her bedroom and closed the door behind them before starting again. "I'm still not letting you go to sleep."

Relena hopelessly sighed. This was going to eventually wear her out. Pacing into her bedroom, the other simply followed, closing that door as well against any ease-droppers.

"Oh, come on Miss Relena," the other cooed. "You tell me the truth and I'll tell you the truth."

She specifically eyed her warily, not sure she wanted to trust her 'friend' all that far. "What if I am telling the truth?" she asked.

Dorothy shrugged, and then laid out on the bed on her stomach, propping her chin up with her hands. "Then I guess you'll have to promise that it's the truth."

Relena was well aware that Dorothy knew she was specifically skirting the issue. In the last few months, it was easy to admit to herself what she was feeling, especially since Heero knew now as well. But to tell that to someone else, especially Dorothy…

"Fine," she resigned herself. "But you have to absolutely promise me that no one else hears about this," she strictly warned.

Dorothy hummed a happy little tune to herself as she considered. "Alright, deal," she prodded.

Relena sighed at her. "If Duo finds about this, I'll—"

"Now, now, remember you're a pacifist," she waved it off.

"You always enjoyed seeing how far you could bend my beliefs," she narrowed her eyes at the other.

Dorothy merely giggled. "I won't tell, even if it would be to your best interests, I promise."

Relena gave her a disheartened look and mentally sighed again. She was going to regret this; she knew it, why was she doing it?

She stepped over and picked up Heero's teddy bear from her bedside table and then sat down at the little desk next to it. Staring down at the cute little thing, she lost herself in the memories of the past seven months; from the time he walked through her office door in Preventer uniform to just yesterday when he'd informed her that he'd be gone today to her mother's.

She knew why she was telling Dorothy this. It wasn't any amount of persuasion on the part of her friend, and it certainly wasn't because she wanted information about her and Quatre; it was simply the idea that if she told someone else… it would make it real. Just like her mother, when she'd told her. It had cemented her feelings into place and confirmed it to herself, taking it from a secret interest, to a real relationship.

Heero was probably not going to appreciate this…

Relenting on her own thoughts she shook her head again. "Dorothy, I really just—"

"Relena Peacecraft-Darlian, spit it out this instant!"

She blinked, taken aback by the snippy outburst and the commanding edge of her friend's eyes. Finally blinking, she sucked down a deep breath and averted her eyes. "I love him, Dorothy," she admitted. There was a pause that Relena didn't expect, and she worriedly looked up to meet the other girl's expression.

Dorothy's eyes had changed to boringly blink at her. "What, that's it?"

Relena went incredulous. "What do you mean 'that's it'?" she cried.

The platinum blond smiled and shook her head. "Dearest Relena, you're worse than Quatre. You make too much out of these things. So you love him, we all know that, tell me something new."

Relena stared at her in shock. What…? How…? Why…?

Again the other laughed at her expression. "Come, my dear. How much do you love him?" she prodded, a growing twinkle to her eye.

She slumped in her chair, looking back down at her teddy bear. "I'm in love with him. I'd do anything for him."

"Ah," the other cooed. "There now, that's something worthy."

Relena looked up to find her eyes again, expecting a cocky look of being right. But instead she had to let a tiny smile slip into place as she saw Dorothy happily watching her, just quietly waiting for more. Maybe Quatre was rubbing off on her.

"Does he know?" she ventured to ask.

The smile tugged up a little higher as she silently nodded, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks again.

"Really?" Dorothy started. Apparently she wasn't expecting that. "So you two have talked about this?"

The smile gave way to a full laugh at her over-enthusiastic friend. "I've admitted it to him. We haven't exactly said much on the subject since then really."

Dorothy pushed herself up to a sitting position again, a frown taking over her confused features. "Wait. You told him you loved him but he didn't… return it?" she softened.

Relena paused a moment before shaking her head no.

The older girl's eyes went wide and she gave her a heartbroken, "Oh."

Relena laughed at the small display of concern. "It's not like that," she quickly interrupted her. "It doesn't matter if Heero has told me anything or not."

Dorothy stared at her, confused. "How does that not matter?"

Again she laughed. "Miss Dorothy, surely I don't need to remind you that true love is not based on whether or not it's returned," she teased.

"I would beg to differ," the other muttered.

Relena blinked at her, and then smiled. "Perhaps that's because you aren't in love yet."

Dorothy seemed to consider that a moment and then shook it off. "But… What did he say? I mean he didn't just…" she faltered.

Again she smiled. "No, Heero didn't hurt my feelings at all. I think he's actually gotten rather used to the idea by now. He's just sorting through his own feelings is all. And I won't rush him. He knows, and that's all I really need him to do at the moment."

Her friend was still staring at her like she'd grown an extra head. "But you're sure that he will return it sometime though, right?"

Relena closed her eyes on the beautiful thought. "Of course I do," she stated, no hint of doubt in her anywhere. "I could be persuaded to say that he already does, but that may just be wishful thinking. Heero hasn't had the experiences I have. I just have to give him time."

Reopening her eyes she still found Dorothy silently watching her, a slightly befuddled look to her.

"What?" she asked.

She blinked back to herself again, and her infamous smirk worked its way into place. "Oh, Miss Relena, you are just truly beautiful."

She rolled her eyes and laughed it off. "Of course I am," she shamelessly admitted. "However, I do believe that you promised to give me the truth about you and Quatre now," she smirked, hopeful that she could turn the conversation once more.

Dorothy quietly sighed, and then laid back down to kick her feet slowly in the air as she placed her head on top of her crossed arms on the bed. "We're friends."

Relena waited, but when she figured out there was nothing else coming, she bitterly narrowed her eyes. "And…?" she prodded.

"And nothing. That's all we are," she stated, closing her eyes.

Relena was incensed. "What? You conned me into admitting my relationship for that!" she cried.

Dorothy smiled, but didn't raise her face to look at her again. "I told you that I would tell you the truth. And I did. I never said it would be something spectacular."

"Dorothy!" she was still fuming. "That's it, I'm calling him," she indigently turned towards the vid-phone on her desk and began calling up her contact list.

"What are you going to do, tell on me?" the other laughed.

"Yes," she snipped.

"And what are you going to say? 'Quatre, Dorothy's being mean because she made me admit that I love Heero.' Oh, this is going to be fun," she giggled.

Realizing she was right Relena abandoned the phone search. "You realize when I said you couldn't tell anyone, I meant him too, right?"

Dorothy nodded half-heartedly. "He'll be the last person I tell. He grumbles at me enough already about picking on you. He deserves to be the last to know."

She smiled at the little bitter comment, not believing her assertion of 'just friends' at all. "Have I ever said how much I like him?" she sighed.

"Yes, yes, don't we all?" she brushed it off. "Now that we have the pleasantries out of the way, are you going to tell me the good stuff or not?"

She blinked at her, confused. "Me being in love isn't the good stuff?"

Dorothy groaned outright and then slumped over to flop out on her back, staring up at the ceiling. "I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but where's Duo when I need him?" she mumbled to herself before going on. "Relena, please, tell me that you two have at least done something mildly resembling a normal couple all mushy and in love with each other?"

She paused, staring absently at her unseeing friend on her bed. Normal? Shrugging she shook her head. "No, nothing normal," she admitted. "Nothing's ever been normal for us."

"You're telling me," she grumbled.

Relena couldn't help but laugh, "What do you want me to say?"

Dorothy only sighed loudly. "I'm going to bed."

* * *

"Who takes the child by the hand takes the mother by the heart." – German Proverb.

"Friends are like fiddle strings, they must not be screwed too tight." – English Proverb.

AN: Now, all of you who are reading both stories will get what's been going on with Dorothy and Quatre. However, if you haven't been following "Revelations" then I hope I didn't confuse you too badly. Don't worry, I'm not putting these stories back together again, I just need a little crossover. :) These two will coincide for little bit, but you have to skip to "Revelations" chapter 16 first. I have way more paper in that story.

And dearest Exmes, this is food for thought for your shower. Whatever would I do without your inspirations?


	10. Chapter 10

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 10

Heero had contained himself only down to the point that he left his guest room at exactly six o'clock, hoping that he would simply slip out the front door and be gone before either of the two caught him. Mrs. Darlian had stated that breakfast was typically at seven. He'd spent half the night trying to figure out if that meant he was supposed to stay for it or if it was merely conversational.

Somehow, he was figuring on the former. The only reason he was still here at all was that he was fighting to identify just how rude he would seem if he was gone when they woke up.

He'd gone through battles with fewer nervous jitters than he'd had in the last twelve hours. Actually, most of his battles.

"Leaving so early, Agent Yuy?"

He mentally cursed. Turning back over his shoulder at the top of the stairs he found Pegan walking happily down the hall towards him. He must have underestimated the man's sleep patterns.

"Mrs. Darlian will be sad not to see you off, but I imagine she will understand." The man's perpetual little smile was in place as he walked around him and began down the stairs himself.

"I'll be late into headquarters as it is," he gave the excuse he'd been prepping for all morning.

"Understandable," the other tossed back. "But the Madam will berate me if I don't offer you something for breakfast before you go. Although, I'm sure you're anxious to be on your way. Mrs. Darlian has always had a good way of holding onto her guests," he chuckled as he descended the stairs.

Heero blinked as he looked after the old man. "Hn."

"Miss Relena takes a bit of getting used to as well," he mumbled as Heero followed him along.

"Still learning," he added, silently sighing to himself.

"Indeed."

He trailed behind the butler into the kitchen before working up a protest. "I really don't need anything. I should be going."

Pegan nodded, casting him a smile over his shoulder that Heero had to wonder at the man for. "Alright." Picking up an apple out of a fruit bowl on the counter the older man tossed it back towards him. Heero mindlessly caught it and looked at the thing. "But at least let me tell Madam I tried," the smile grew.

After last night, Heero was more than willing to let the man have anything he needed in order to skirt around the more 'motherly' aspects of the woman in question. The gesture of something quick, and the painless way that he was attempting to let him go was… nice. Heero favored him with a hint of a smirk and nodded. "Understood."

"There is only one other thing," the older man picked up a stack of items. "Mrs. Darlian wondered if we could send a few things along with you to Miss Relena?"

"Of course," he nodded. Packages were always a problem with her mail's security screenings anyway.

Handing over the papers and books he took them. "Thank you. Have a safe trip, Agent Yuy."

He nodded and tuned away but then thought better of it. "Please tell her, thank you," he stated, wondering again if that was right.

The other nodded happily. "I certainly will. Look after her for us."

The comment, especially out of this man, was enough to place his smirk back up again. "I will," he confirmed back, finding that that thought came easier to him these days.

He left the kitchen again and was out the door soon after.

* * *

Heero had called Sally on the way to tell her that he would be in the office late in case anyone was looking for him. Not that he expected anyone would be. Relena didn't have another trip planned until the start of next week.

Of course he figured out he really should have tried Wufei's line first after it was already too late. Sally's first question had been, "How come?" A question Wufei wouldn't have even bothered to ask.

Also mistakenly, he had admitted that Relena's mother had insisted that he stay the night there before traveling back. He'd gotten to listen to her laughed in his ear, and then heard her repeat the story to her partner, adding something that sounded suspiciously like, "Isn't that cute?"

He'd also been privileged to hear a small argument break out between the two before he heard Wufei utter some typical comment. After that he couldn't be sure, but he thought he heard something crash in the background followed by mild swearing.

When Sally quit laughing again and return to the phone conversation she was supposed to be paying attention to, she only mumbled that she would inform anyone looking for him.

He'd hung up the phone and caught himself very close to muttering "women" under his breath.

As it was, he pulled up in front of his apartment complex and collected Relena's stack of items. The rest could go back to his office with him. Figuring he would drop by after she was back from work tonight with the items it could also give him an excuse to check to see when Dorothy was leaving.

He walked up the outside stairway to the second floor and down to the last door in the row. Taking his keys from his pocket he stepped up to the door but froze, staring down at the doorknob in front of him. He probably would have never noticed the tiny mark in the dust that coated the metal latch-plate, except that there was a specific reason he never cleaned it.

Heero narrowed his eyes at the little stripe. His lock had been picked. Only one thin line meant that it was an expert job, quick and without the need for more than one try.

Having narrowed the suspects down that far, he added his keys back to his jacket pocket and opened the door, which had been left unlocked. Entering, he found exactly what he expected. A pizza box lay on his coffee table, next to a stack of various other snack-type sacks of items and a couple cans of soda.

Aside from the mess, his couch now had a blanket thrown over it and a pillow bunched half on and half off of it. On top of that lay a suspiciously familiar brunette braid.

There was a lengthy yawn from somewhere under the blanket as he sighed to himself and stepped in, closing the door behind him. "Where have you been?" came the groggy question.

"Why are you here?" he countered, walking through the living/dinning room to the table where he dropped the stack of items in his hand.

"I'm visiting," came Duo's retort. "Except that you weren't supposed to have anything scheduled until next week."

Well, at least he hacked Relena's schedule to check this time. The first time Duo popped by unannounced Heero had come in at two a.m. after returning from a typical mission in L5. The other former pilot had since then decided to leave the door unlocked when he was there as a warning for him not to pull his gun on the first sign of movement in a dark apartment.

"I had a security patch at Relena's mother's to check on."

"Aw, visiting the in-laws?" there was a chuckle. "I bet she's a class-act, isn't she?"

"Hn." Slipping off his jacket, he tossed it over one of the dinette set's chairs and then added his holster as well before walking into his bedroom to change into a clean uniform before heading back to work.

"Hope you don't mind," came the call from the other room as he pulled off his t-shirt. "I made myself comfy last night. Bought groceries again too, since some people in the world do actually eat," Duo grumbled.

Heero had a meal plan through headquarters' cafeteria so he typically stocked very little of anything in the apartment, which Duo typically complained about. Actually, most of what was stuffed into his cupboards was 'groceries' that the other man had brought in during one of his random stays anyway.

Not that this was a habit. It was actually only the third time since he'd joined up that the other man had dropped by. Duo had apparently done the same thing with Wufei once… For some reason he didn't stay though.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

He'd wondered how long that question was going to take to come. "I'm going," he answered.

"Hope you're not slipping, Buddy. I'm starting to get used to your little princess."

Heero stopped, his slacks half zipped, at the comment. Out of sheer spite he threw a glare at the wall between them in Duo's direction before continuing to get changed.

He still had yet to figure out how the two had developed anything to get 'used' to. Relena had made the comment that she talked to Hilde now and again. He supposed that information got passed back and forth.

Tucking his shirt in he walked back out of the room and over to the chair. Duo still hadn't unburied himself from the blanket. The man had a lazy streak now and then when he had the chance, and these little visits were more vacation than anything else.

"How is your ever-loving these days anyway?"

The question paused him again. Duo's comments were typical and nothing new, but the expression come a bit too close to the truth for his comfort this time around. "Fine," he answered instead, slipping the holster into place and taking his jacket.

"Yeah well, any chance that a lowly guy like me could get an appointment? I have a surprise for her."

The lump on his couch moved this time, and Duo finally sat up, stretching. "I can ask," he mumbled, knowing that Relena would want the chance to see him if he was here, but not exactly wanting to bring it up. The last time he didn't tell her that he'd been to visit she'd given him that annoyed look and asked why he didn't bring him by.

Well, Duo didn't usually ask.

"What's the surprise?" he asked, half enthused as he put his jacket back on.

He turned back just enough to see the huge grin spread on the other's face. "She keeps complaining that I never bring Hilde. So…" he absently yanked a thumb back towards his spare bedroom. "This time I brought her."

Heero started, realizing that he'd been caught up enough with Duo on the couch and his own bedroom in the front of the apartment that he hadn't even bothered to notice that the door to the other one was shut instead of usual. Great.

His 'friend' burst out laughing and flopped back on the couch, a simple tank top covering his chest. "I know what kind of concerned host you are, so don't worry. I figured we'd annoy you last night, which you skipped out on, annoy her tonight, and be off tomorrow morning."

Heero mentally sighed. "Hn." Heading for the door again he opened it. "I need to drop some things off to her tonight anyway. I'll see if she's up for more company."

"More?"

He smirked to himself as he tossed the sentence in as he closed the door. "Dorothy's here too."

* * *

Hilde sat shock still in the elaborate sitting room in Relena's estate attempting to decide how much offense she should be taking to her boyfriend's continuous outbursts. She sat on the couch beside him with her tea cup in her lap, trying for the world to figure out how to hold the thing so she'd look even half as refined as the other two women in the room.

Relena sat in a chair across from her; her own cup neatly nestled in her hands as her friend stared at the two in question as well. Heero boredly eyed them from his place at the end, nearest to the closed door.

Duo was beside her, but his attention was attracted by the constant bickering remarks thrown back and forth with the Lady Catalonia, that she'd been introduced to when they arrived. Still not having placed this woman, she was absolutely sure that she had seen her before though. And apparently the two longest-haired members of the group had a few past issues.

"If I had your family tree, I'd be cranky too," Duo snipped, haughty in his own right from their 'discussion.' "You're all a bunch of psychos."

The Lady sat, as always through the whole thing, unperturbed by the offensive statements, with a smirk and narrowed eyes as she sipped at her cup with utmost care. She sat properly with her ankles crossed under her in the chair at the opposite end of the coffee table, facing Heero, but her attention was typically turned to Duo. "Actually having a family tree can have its uses though," she mumbled back.

Hilde internally cringed for Duo's sake. Bringing up his past and lack of family was a hurtful thing to do. How this woman even knew these types of things, she had absolutely no idea. Although from that comment, she would assume that the Lady didn't know the whole story.

Duo, however, brushed it off, which surprised her again. "Better than drawing straws with the rest of your cousins to see whose turn it is to blow up the world this week."

The pale blond actually snickered, apparently having fun with this. "I imagine you've drawn the short stick a number of times yourself, Mr. Maxwell. Brains, wit, charm… looks."

"You take that back!" he snapped.

"Which part?" she raised an oddly forked eyebrow.

Duo shrugged, "At least the looks." He smiled, knitting his hands behind his head and leaning back into the couch cushions with his eyes closed.

"Um… Would anyone like some more tea?" Relena interjected into the most 'friendly' of pauses between them.

"Only if it wouldn't be a bother," Dorothy politely asked, setting her empty cup on the coffee table they surrounded.

"Normally I don't touch the stuff, but this ain't bad," Duo commented, and Hilde wondered if she should check for a temperature. He hates tea, she couldn't even get him to try hers, but he'd swallowed this in two gulps.

"Well, I'll be right back then." Relena smiled and hastily rose to her feet, picking up the teapot and tray from in front of her, and quickly heading for the door.

Heero rose to open it for her since her hands were full.

"I don't really think I can take that back," Dorothy mused to herself as the quiet settled just a second as Relena slipped away.

"What do you mean you can't?" Duo asked incredulously.

"Even I'm not that good of a liar," she tapped a finger to her chin.

"Why you snotty little…" he trailed off in agitation. Hilde just looked on wide-eyed and then up to Heero, who still stood in the opened doorway, for help. He turned to meet her eyes just a second before blinking in abandon and following after Relena instead, comically closing the door on her pleading look for him to come back.

She turned back to the two name-callers wondering how in the world she was supposed to get these two separated by herself. What she found stilled her even farther as the two both watched the door swing shut out of the corners of their eyes. Once the click of the latch was heard they both darted over in their seats, just about smacking foreheads as they each leaned over the arms of their respective furniture.

"What'd you get?" Duo asked in half the voice he'd been using most of the evening.

Lady Dorothy broke the first genuine smile that Hilde had seen out of her yet, but her eyes twinkled with absolute mirth. "I'd be happy to tell you, but it seems I had to swear not to," she quietly replied.

"Finally!" he whisper-cheered. "How badly can you not tell me?" he went on, a smile tickling his lips.

The other woman gave a low chuckle. "I've heard rumors about Relena's non-pacifistic side, and I have been given every indication that she'd be willing to go back to that for me."

Duo gave her a triumphant grin. "OK, OK, just tell me it's good," he coaxed instead.

At this Dorothy sighed. "The usual suspicions only, I'm afraid. But it's taking longer than I expected to even get that much out of her."

"She's a tough cookie when she wants to be," he shook his head. "But nothing good?" came the hopeful question.

She apologetically shook her head; the length of her pale blond locks falling over one shoulder. "Nothing incriminating yet. I've got another day or so, though." Looking back up she glanced at the door and then back. "What about you?"

"Yeah, right," Duo sighed, collapsing back to slump on the couch and stretching an arm out around Hilde's shoulders. "You've got the easy one. Besides, he wasn't even here last night," he complained.

The Lady frowned at him. "You're going to have to try harder," she accused.

"Hey, do you want to switch?" he snipped back.

She shrugged, moving back to her normal sitting position. "You're the one he likes."

"You actually think that man likes anybody?"

She propped her chin up gracefully with an elbow on the chair's arm, and then batted her eyelashes at him. "Well, we hope he likes someone."

They both laughed at the comment. Hilde, for her part, sat very still and very quiet; afraid of breaking whatever alternate dimension she'd just been thrust into. One minute they were—verbally—going for each other's throats, the next they were conniving together like school kids. What's wrong with these people?

"Hilde, Babe, you alright? You haven't said much," he asked looking up at her from his slouched position.

She blinked at him.

"Oh dear, I don't believe she's used to us," the Lady put in from her chair.

She blinked at her too.

"Babe, come on, Cat and I are just joking. We just needed to get the two out of the room for a while," he smoothed, flashing that good-natured smile of his.

"Um, OK," she responded, still a bit beside herself.

"Oh. Was I supposed to be joking?" Dorothy asked, mockingly taken aback.

Duo turned to give her a bitter look. "Down, Wicked Brows, or I'm going to call Quatre and tell on you."

Hilde balked at the name but resisted the urge to smack the back of his head.

Dorothy merely returned a confused expression. "Why does everyone assume that's actually going to intimidate me?"

"Hey, what's the deal with this week-long get-away you two were on that I keep hearing about?" Duo grinned at her instead, his same Cheshire expression coming back.

"It was not a get-away," she rolled her eyes. "Miss Relena can make as much out of things as you can," she waved it off.

Miss Relena… 

Then it finally clicked. Hilde snapped her attention back to the woman in question, finally placing the long, flowing, platinum blond hair and the odd eyebrows with a couple snippets of conversation she'd overheard. Imagining her seated there in a green uniform and black boots, Hilde had her answer. "That's it," she whispered to herself.

She hadn't realized that she'd interrupted Duo's attempt at a remark to her last comment. Closing his mouth again he turned to look at her instead. "What's it?"

She mildly cringed, realizing too late that the information she'd pieced together might not be the best thing to bring up considering she now recognized that that uniform meant the Lady here wasn't necessarily on the same team back then. "I…" she stalled before Duo gave her a look to keep going. "Sorry. I just figured out where I know you from," she tried instead, turning to look at the woman casually looking back at her.

"Me?" she blinked. "I hadn't realized we've met before," Dorothy added, obviously searching her memory now.

"We haven't really 'met,'" she explained. "I think we've just crossed paths."

Duo looked back and forth between the two. "You have?" he seemed confused.

Hilde smiled at him, and nodded, knowing that he wouldn't get the hint to shut up and leave it at that.

"Where?"

Of course he wouldn't, she mentally sighed. "I think I saw you aboard _Libra_," she said, trying to make it sound friendly, and hoping against hope that Duo already knew that bit of information.

He didn't seem fazed by it, but Dorothy started. "I imagine that could be, if you were onboard," she reasoned.

"Yeah, Cat here was a bad guy," he explained with a yank of his thumb in her direction. "We're hoping she's converted," he added, cracking a laugh.

That was reassuring, and she smiled at his laugh. "Duo, don't be mean."

"At least someone tells him that," Dorothy commented as he gave both of them dirty looks. Brushing him off she turned back. "Although, I'm curious now about you, Miss Hilde. And not only about your poor taste in men anymore," she threw in.

"Keep it up, Cat," he grumbled.

"Oh, save me from the big bad Grim Reaper," she laughed.

Hilde found herself laughing as well, but she wasn't sure if it was the comments, the fact that they had had her completely fooled about their intentions before, or about Dorothy's own high pitched cackle. "I was originally on the wrong side of these guys too," she admitted once they all calmed down. "But once I found out what he was really fighting for, I sort of had a change of heart."

"Yip. I'm just too cute for the ladies to interrogate." Duo laid this head back on the couch and closed his eyes, the cocky smirk in place.

Hilde elbowed him in the ribs to get the expression off his face. "You most certainly were not," she snipped. Turning back to Dorothy she caught the amused expression on her face. "I was a new recruit for the Alliance when I stumbled over Duo. After that, I 'made a nuisance of myself' trying to get into trouble for him."

He made a face. "I said that once, and you'll never forget it, will you?"

"No, I won't," she confirmed.

"Well, woman after my own heart," Dorothy commented, chuckling at the two.

"Nope, not even if you had one," he refuted her. "Hilde here's a sweetheart."

Both women rolled their eyes. "Anyway," she shook her head. "I ended up on _Libra_ looking for a way to help out."

"After being specifically told to stay put," he grumbled.

She kicked him this time instead.

"But she was very helpful," he quickly added, reaching down to rub at his shin.

"Oh?" Hilde looked up to see the curious eyebrow raised on the other woman. "And what might that have been?"

She giggled nervously. "How sore are you about all of that?" she sheepishly asked.

"Not as sore as Quatre was," Duo snuck in. Dorothy turned a bitter look to him and he seemed to relent with a cringe. "Well, got to get a guy's attention somehow."

"Don't tell me you had to pull a gun on him too," Hilde laughed out loud at their little inside joke before she noticed both split eyebrows raise this time. "You don't want to know," she commented quickly.

"Yeah, anyway, Hilde here was the one that snuck _Libra_'s schematics out from under your nose," Duo quickly finished, tossing her a wink as he squeezed her shoulders with the arm around them still.

She smiled at the slight show of pride in him for her, although he was ready to kill her himself for it back then, she knew. "That's actually when I met Relena, on _Libra_," she added, turning back to the Lady.

She stopped when she saw the frozen look of surprised on Dorothy's face. Duo noticed too and they exchanged a look before they turned back to her. "What?" he asked.

She blinked back the expression before lowered eyes from them to the coffee table in front of her not saying anything a moment.

"Lady Dorothy?" she questioned. "I'm sorry if we said something—"

She stopped when the other looked back up at her, the cool gray-violet eyes finding her dark blue ones and pausing again. "I am the one who owes you an apology, Miss Hilde," she stated.

Hilde understood a look of determination like that very well by this point in her life. She knew that an expression like that hinted at deep hurts, remorse and a desperate desire. This woman was no different from herself, from any of them really. And she did not interrupt whatever it was she wanted to say.

"You took a space Taurus and cruiser and blasted out of the holding bay on your way back to the _Peacemillion_," she seemed to want to clarify.

Hilde nodded, and Duo looked back and forth between them again, confused.

Again, her eyes lowered. "Then I'm afraid I was the reason that the Mercurius and the Vayeate were sent after you." The silence hung a moment, and not one of them bothered to acknowledge the opened door or Relena and Heero's return.

"The two battle data programmed models," Duo quietly clarified. "Not just a couple mobile dolls." Hilde felt the tension go through his arm that he had around her shoulders. "You specifically sent those two suits after her?"

His voice was still quiet, but Hilde felt incredulous anger flare up in him and she specifically readied herself to intervene if he let it get the best of him.

Dorothy's eyes narrowed, but she still didn't look up. "At the time, I was merely suggesting the best course of action to eliminate someone I knew had to be a spy. And one, I assumed, of considerable skills if they were partnered with the group of you," she explained herself but quickly went on. "I'm not justifying my tactics; I'm stating that I'm sorry. I am assuming that you… sustained injuries."

"You bet she had injuries!" Duo's voice raised and she felt him physically coil, ready to pounce if he got the chance. "You could have killed her!" he finally shouted.

"Duo, please." Relena interjected at the same time that Hilde specifically grabbed the side of his shirt, ensuring that if he tried to get to his feet, she wouldn't let him.

Hilde's immediate reaction was to be angry with him for being angry with Dorothy. But when the woman raised her eyes to meet Duo's, Hilde saw unflinching determination again. "That was the point," Hilde cut in before the other could say anything more. "It was a war. You can't blame her for it now," she reprimanded him.

Duo finally turned back, the anger leaving his eyes as he found hers, worry etched far deeper. It was the same worry that she knew was borne out of his affection for her, and she loved him for it. She always had.

But she had been a soldier as well, and she knew what it was like to regret actions, even ones that had been the only correct choice at the time. Turning away from him, she looked around to meet Lady Dorothy's cool expression. "You don't owe me anything. You did what you had to, and I understand that."

Duo opened his mouth to say something but Hilde returned a glare to his look to stop him before he made this worse.

"I appreciate that. Thank you, Miss Hilde," Dorothy calmly stated, turning her eyes away once more. "I must say I'm thankful we didn't succeed."

Hilde broke a smile for the comment and nodded, elbowing Duo again who gave up his indignant feelings and slumped back to his original position. "Yeah, well, still a good thing I was there," he verbally patted himself on the back.

Relena visually sighed and then pasted up her politician's smile, sitting the tea tray on the coffee table. Heero specifically moved to his place again, warily eyeing the group.

"Of course it is," Hilde admitted. "For the three thousandth time: of course it is," she rolled her eyes.

* * *

Relena held the door to the sitting room open as Dorothy and Duo argued their way out of the room. Dorothy's haughty laugh echoing as Hilde comically shook her head. "We should really do this more often," she teased as her friend moved in to give her a hug.

She laughed and nodded against her shoulder. "Actually we should… we'll just leave them both somewhere else."

"Just not together," Hilde sighed, pulling away to show her a smile. "Call me, alright?"

Relena smiled with a nod. "I promise."

Hilde gave her one more hug and then walked out the door, out shouting the other two who hadn't managed to make it down the hallway yet. "Oh, would you two shut up!"

She had to raise a hand over her mouth as she laughed, listening to them slowly move off.

"She started it."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Just can't tolerate not having the last word, can you?"

"Bring it on, cockroach."

"Oo, what are you going to do, braid my hair so we both look pretty?"

"That's it!"

"Ow, ow! Hilde, Babe. Ow!"

Dorothy's genuine laugh was enough to make Relena crack up again, not daring to step out in the hall and find out what was going on. Turning beside her, she looked up at Heero, finding him with a hopeless expression, which really struck her funny coming from him.

He regarded her evenly as she laughed, and she took the chance to slip in to hug him. "Maybe I should insist harder that they stay here tonight," she recommended.

She felt him sigh against her as his arms wrapped warmly around her. "They need to be separated."

Relena giggled at the thought. When they had left the room to make some more tea, she had asked him if he felt they should be worried about the two. They had been a bit catty with each other on Mars too, but not like this. Heero had responded, "Hn. I'm not so sure anymore that Duo can take her."

He'd actually had to take the teapot and the cream off the tray she was carrying for her before she dropped the whole thing as she laughed. The two had poked a little fun at the two as they sat in the kitchen, being cautious of revealing anything to the cameras… as always.

Which reminded her that the three were out in the foyer, monitored, and a little less likely to remember that they were being watched out there. She moved back, intent on saying they needed go too, but missed her chance.

Heero used the move as an opening, and before she knew it, she found his warm kiss on her lips. Surprised beside herself, she remembered to close her eyes and retuned his tenderhearted touch.

Well, he was certainly growing bolder with this. Here in her house, the group of their friends, who would love to 'accidentally' find out about this, nearby, and with the door open no less.

She mentally kicked herself for letting those types of thoughts go through her at a moment like this. She really missed him when he softly moved back from her, feeling like she didn't get to savor it.

Relena opened her eyes, looking him in the eye before he could move away again. His soft look of affection stared back at her just a moment before he disentangled himself and she slowly followed him out of the room, her heart feeling warm and fuzzy.

There had been plenty of insinuations from the group about the two of them tonight, but nothing that brought up too much. She'd easily batted down the random assortments of comments. Hilde had been able to keep Duo pretty much in check, and Dorothy had… Well, come to think of it, Dorothy had been quieter than normal about that section of things.

Relena had really expected her and Duo to team up against them. But, her friend had sworn that she wouldn't tell what she'd discovered last night, so maybe she was keeping her participation low. Maybe she was really being sympathetic to her. That was a nice thought… unlikely, but nice.

Actually, except for the bickering, Dorothy had been quieter than usual about everything tonight. Of course, the idea of bringing up her past, and especially meeting someone face to face that had been hurt because of her… Relena wondered if she should bring that up with her later, or let it go.

Truthfully, she didn't know enough about the tense conversation that they'd walked back in on to understand whether or not to worry. Duo had shaken it off rather quickly. And Hilde had specifically given her her forgiveness. Relena just wasn't sure how much she could really delve into Dorothy's emotions over some things.

But maybe someone else could…

Filing that away, she followed Heero out into the foyer where the other three were still going at it. Hilde sighed loudly from between the two, one hand clutching onto Duo's braid and the other raised in case Dorothy stepped in too close. She gave them a weary look as the others stopped to watch their approach.

"Welp, it's been fun, Princess," Duo acknowledged her, totally flip-flopping from just having stuck his tongue out in Dorothy's direction.

"I hope you have a safe trip back tomorrow," she smiled, still feeling sorry for Heero having to play host after this.

Stepping up, Duo wrapped her in a giant, surprise hug and squeezed her up to her toes before he set her back down. "Take care, Beautiful," he leaned back to look down at her with a wink. "Don't trust these security types more than I do," he nodded beside her to where Heero was standing.

She returned a smile and a chuckle as he pulled away from her. Hilde stepped up to give her a hug again as well, shrugging hopelessly at the display.

Relena squeezed Hilde again but looked over to where Duo was attempting a one-armed hug on Dorothy now. "No hard feelings, Cat."

"Not yet, there isn't," she eyed him cautiously.

"Ah, come here," he announced catching her and forcing her into a full hug before she could step out of the way.

Dorothy rolled her eyes at them over his shoulder. At least until he squeezed her hard enough to get a squeak out of her. One quick jab with her fingers into his ribs put a decisive end to that though as he jumped back.

The rest laughed at the two as she glared at him and he shook his head. "Cranky, I tell ya."

Hilde switched with him as she left Relena's hug. She moved to respectfully shake hands with Dorothy and add a couple words of her own. Duo quickly did a head count and then opened his arms, mockingly acting like Heero was next… until he was met with another glare, and a not so polite gesture towards the door instead.

Crestfallen he did as instructed and opened the door and walked out. Hilde quickly followed and Relena barely heard the annoyed growl from Heero as she tried to keep her laughter down. "Goodnight," she smiled at him.

"Night," he answered back. "Dorothy," he nodded to her as he slipped out the door.

"Agent Yuy," she returned. When the door clicked shut, Relena turned to look at her remaining friend. But Dorothy held an odd look on her face as she seemed to consider something. "Well, it is getting late. I believe I will turn in," she said instead, not hinting at what was on her mind.

"Alright. Goodnight, Dorothy," she stated instead, figuring it wasn't something she could ask about here anyway.

* * *

"I know all those people, I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them." – Mark Twain :)

AN: If anybody else thinks that I butchered Hilde, I'm sorry. And if anyone has a good Hilde-type resource, I could sure use it. She's never been a favorite character to me, but she is fun. :)


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Caution, this chapter does contain mild swearing. More than I would typically allow, but nothing too bad, I promise.

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 11

Heero sat at the dinette table in the living room, staring out the front window. For some reason he didn't feel like going back to his bedroom, and so he sat in a chair, a second one scooted over enough to propped up a foot on. His elbow lounged on a raised knee and his hand propped up his head.

He'd closed his bedroom door on Duo and Hilde at about twelve thirty, having had enough of their random bickering and their thinly veiled implications about himself and Relena. Duo for some reason seemed convinced that he had been jealous of the man's parting hug to her last night. Truthfully he was extremely annoyed with the display.

However, he had eventually fallen asleep sometime after the two also turned in, their whispers still enough to keep him awake. It was almost four thirty when he'd been woken by the scream.

It was a breathless, muffle of a shriek, but it was there nonetheless. Definitely female. Definitely from inside the apartment. And it was definitely not a nightmare this time.

At least not his own nightmare.

Heero had thrown the covers off and had his issued sidearm out of the holster by the time the sound completely died away. He'd thrown open his door and raced through the living room exactly on Duo's heels as the other man also tracked towards the extra bedroom.

He slammed the door open ahead of them and stepped into the room. Heero's night vision caught nothing over the other's shoulder and so he automatically went for the light switching, flipping it on, knowing whoever else was here would be caught by the same secondary blink.

Duo was only a pace in front of him still, and both stopped instantly as the startled gasp resounded from the bed. Hilde sat bolt upright, both hands over her mouth, staring wide-eyed up at them.

"Hilde?" Duo questioned quickly, eyeing once more for an unseen attacker, which Heero did as well.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm fine," she tried to get out even though she'd forgotten to remove her hands from her mouth.

Duo recovered first, relaxing and softly slipping the few feet over to the bed and sat down on it beside her. "Are you all right?"

She'd weakly nodded and apologized another few times, stating it was just a nightmare. Heero had softly slipped out of the doorway, leaving the two to themselves as Duo, relieved, softly tried to comfort her.

Now, he watched the traffic slide past on the street outside, the headlights creating a perfect strobe effect as they flashed through the guardrail of the porch. The flashes of light moved almost as quickly as his memories did. Nothing dulled down the images that played through him freely tonight, but at the same time, nothing seemed to come forcefully to the top either.

His first instinct, even before his eyes came all the way open, was that it was Relena. That the shriek he heard was her being harmed by someone. It had registered with him that she was vastly too far away for it to be her just before he'd opened his door and rushed out.

The adrenaline had finally worn off by now, leaving him only feeling numb.

He took an uninterested guess that he'd sat there about a half an hour before the light switched off in the bedroom and Duo emerged, softly closing the door behind him. He didn't mean to spy on the two, had no interest in it, he just hadn't wanted to attempt to go back to sleep this close to morning with these thoughts running through his head.

Sometimes nights were hard enough as they were.

He felt more than saw Duo come up behind him and take the chair across the little table from him. The other pilot pulled it out and turned it around before sitting down on it backwards, crossing his arms over the back and lowering his chin to rest on them.

Still they sat silent for a few minutes in the dark apartment, the only light coming in from the streetlights and the passing cars. Heero didn't even bothering to move or acknowledge him.

"Sorry, buddy," Duo finally broke his introspective.

That seemed like a worthless apology. "Is she all right?" he asked instead, coming up with nothing else to say.

"Yeah. It's happened a couple times," he confessed. "Bringing up the war again today probably brought it back."

"Hn."

The two sat again in silence, both a little lost in their own thoughts. He vaguely noticed Duo's silhouette turn his face to look out the window as well, his cheek now resting on his arms in front of him. "How do you do it?" he quietly asked.

It was enough to make Heero turn fully to face across the table towards him.

Slowly, working out of his own thoughts, Duo turned back as well. "I've laid awake more nights than I can count plotting out the shortest route from me to her in case something happened like this. I've overanalyzed every piece of furniture between our apartments, checking for everything from concealment to possible weapons."

Heero knew the layout of the little duplex that the two shared now, set just off from the junkyard space that had been in Hilde's family. Finding her original house too small, she had sold it off, purchasing the next-door building instead. It was much more livable for two of them and the business they ran. Hilde had the office upstairs with her and Duo had a mess of a workshop area down below with him.

Heero blinked in the dark, wondering where he was going with this.

He watched the shadowed lines of the other move as he shook his head. "Some nights I have actually slipped up into her apartment, just to sit in front of her bedroom door. Just to know that she's safe. Just to get the images of the possibilities out of my head."

There was a moment of silence, but Heero couldn't possibly have found anything to say.

"The thing is, I know it's stupid. I know that no one is going to come after Hilde. The only way she'd ever be a target would be to get to me for some pointless revenge. And that's just an if, especially after this long."

Duo raised his head off his arms, leaning farther forward against the chair back. "But you… How do you do it?" he asked again. "You have to know the possibilities. Hell, it's your job. You know that there are people out there after her."

People after Relena… Yes, he knew the possibilities, the statistics, the cold logical facts behind every mission and night that she was in her own house. He understood the idea of lying awake, knowing just how far away he really was from her.

Heero knew the fears of not being able to be there in time.

The thought carved out his chest, but he gave Duo the same answer he tried to console himself with some nights. "I'm not the only one protecting her."

He watched him lean his chin down on his arms again. "Does that actually help?"

Heero's expression softened, even if the other couldn't see it. Duo knew as well as he did apparently that no one else ever seemed to factor into those types of thoughts. "It keeps me from sleeping outside her door," he answered instead.

His friend actually broke a chuckle at the comparison. "Yeah, well, we all know even you are going to need help looking after that girl," he apparently shook his head. Duo moved and then rose to his feet again. "Welp, no way I'm going back to sleep. How about some coffee? I know I stuffed some on a shelf somewhere," he muttered as he slipped through the dark into the kitchen at the back of the apartment before flipping on a light.

"Sure," he responded, a soft smile he didn't figure he could explain playing at his lips before he rose too and followed him.

He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the kitchen's light. He stood in the doorway, crossing his arms and leaning against the frame, watching Duo's search of his scattered cupboards. "Do you ever eat what I bring you?" he grumbled.

Pulling out a bag of something he gave a grunt of victory and pulled down a can of coffee. Stuffing the bag back in he knocked out a bar of some sort and then picked it up to look at it.

"Nutrition bars?" he made a face. Walking past him with the can and the bar, he waved the thing in front of his nose. "Food, Heero. I know it's a foreign concept on your planet, but you should really try to blend in."

Chucking the thing in the trashcan, he moved to the coffeemaker, Duo's 'housewarming' present on his first visit. "Potato chips aren't food either," he vaguely reminded him, thinking of the amount of junk the man went through.

"Hey, if Hilde and Relena can claim chocolate as a food group, I can claim salt."

Heero again wondered at Duo's odd understanding of her. He watched him set the coffeepot, absently attempting to form it into a question.

"Soybeans should not be yours," he went on mumbling. "How does she deal with you? The woman is not normal. I'm telling you; don't ever let her go, 'cause no one else is going to take you."

"You either," he stated, closing his eyes on the insult.

"Wha-?" he started before giving a snort of acknowledgement. "Yeah, well, no accounting for dumb luck," he chuckled.

Heero had expected him to brush it off, not admit to it. He turned, placing his back against the doorframe, mulling over his thoughts from last night.

"Our girls would just be bored with normal people, you know? Hey, how's Sally these days? It still amazes me that she hasn't killed Wu by now."

"She's fine," he snuck in the answer between the other's rambling.

"You got'a like her. She's like the super girl scout. She's just helpful; it's nice."

Heero broke a smirk at the description, knowing that Sally would probably laugh and set one hand on her hip with that little look of exasperation, while silently debating whether or not to punch him for it. Of course, she'd probably feel the need to stitch him back up afterwards too.

"Cat worries me though. I don't know if Quatre's built for that kind'a girl."

He slowly reopened his eyes to find Duo leaned over the counter his hand propping up his chin, absently watching the coffee drip into the pot.

"Quatre, the Mags, now Relena. That girl can't be all bad, I guess."

Duo wasn't over what they'd found out last night like he made believe, and Heero knew it. Understanding that there was nothing to do about something after the fact never actually made any difference.

"What did she have to do with the Mercurius and the Vayeate, anyway?" he wondered out loud, the whole situation having struck him odd.

Duo turned bored eyes towards him before giving him a smirk. "You know, a little 'camaraderie' for your teammates would go along way for you. If you'd have bothered to ask Quatre how he'd ended up stabbed after a space battle, you'd know this," he sighed at him.

Stabbed? Heero had assumed he'd been shot while on _Libra_ or had sustained some other type of incidental injury due to resistance… but stabbed?

"You're whacked out brother-in-law had Dorothy on the bridge. Hell, he plugged her into the ZERO system controlling the mobile dolls. No wonder her brain was scrambled," he grumbled.

Duo turned back to the slowly drizzling coffeepot and puffed a sigh. Heero stood, staring at him, at a total loss. Zechs had given Dorothy a command? Why? And Zechs should have known better than to hand a ZERO enhanced system over to someone who'd never handled it before.

…Stabbed?

…Brother-in-law?

"I shouldn't be sore at her, should I?" Duo interrupted his thoughts, his eyes narrowing. "Who am I to talk? I'm the one that can't sleep because I'm worried about someone coming after us for what I did." He cursed under his breath, still just blankly watching the black liquid fill up the glass pot. "Moving on sucks sometimes."

Heero couldn't say that he didn't agree with that sentiment now and then, but he didn't think he would ever hear Duo say it.

Apparently he noticed too, and the man in front of him forced a smile before pushing away from the counter and crossing back to the cupboards. "Sorry, bud. Not my normal chipper self this morning," he raised a hand to rub at the back of his neck.

That was an understatement. Heero watched his back as he pulled out two mismatched coffee cups. His usually expertly-kept braid was tousled from sleep and the holder was several inches higher than normal, leaving a length untamed and a little tangled as it hung past the hem of the tank top he wore over a pair of baggy cotton pants.

"She'll be fine," Heero quietly confirmed.

Duo stopped and turned to look over his shoulder at him. "Huh?"

He turned away, closing his eyes again and bowing his head. "Hilde," he clarified. "She'll be fine." Of course she would. He didn't honestly know what the girl was capable of, but he knew enough to believe that she could look after herself… as long as she avoided looking after Duo too much. And there was no doubt anywhere in his mind that the other former pilot would protect her with everything he had.

Heero could understand that. He was living that.

He'd softly realized, sitting there with them last night, that there was a piece of him that envied what Duo and Hilde had. Their open affections. Just an arm around her shoulders, a joking poke in the ribs, whatever it was. At first the thought had unnerved him. Actually it still did. But he was getting better at finally looking at what Relena was doing to him.

It wasn't that he wanted to do the same things necessarily. He knew better than that regardless. But it was that touch of pride in him. His new understanding that she was his, for whatever that would entail. The declaration that she loved him. It all added together in him so that he almost didn't care if the others knew. Almost.

And then there was the bitter side, that Heero never let out, that wanted to shove that fact down Duo's throat after that hug he'd given her before they left.

"Yeah, I know," the other finally responded. "The girls might be crazy for having us, but at least they're not bored."

Heero allowed the smirk as he opened his eyes only enough to look over at him from the corner of his vision. Duo stood with his typical stupid smile on his face and his hands on his hips. That was more like it.

Duo shook his head, "Oi." He swung around to get the cups he'd moved to the counter, before closing the cabinet door and moving back to the coffeepot. "I'm just happy I got the easy one," he mumbled. "No screwed up family trying to rule the world, no fetish for throwing knives at me, and I don't see her on TV more than in person. What more could a guy want?"

Heero inwardly sighed.

"How do you two get any quality time?" his evil little smirk settled down again as he poured both cups. "All the people all the time. Must be hard to get cozy."

He was decidedly tired of that tone of voice out of him for one day. Closing his eyes he ignored the insinuation.

"And the rest of the team too. Do they know? They have to know by now, everyone else does."

His eyes popped back open again, instantly glaring at his 'friend.' "Know what?" he bit.

Duo rolled his eyes. "Ah, come on, it's me you're talking to. You're ol' pal Duo. Don't pretend that you haven't _finally _figured it out too." He turned away, rummaging through the refrigerator, and pulling the milk out. "Some people are so dense," he muttered. "How does she get anything through that thick head of yours?"

Heero's glare didn't let up any even if he wasn't paying attention to it.

"The woman loves you. She knows it, we know it, even you have to know it by now." Duo went on happily pouring milk in one cup. "Milk?" he asked, finally looked over at him. He started when he finally saw the look that had to be on his face, and cringed before turning back to the refrigerator. "You're more a straight black type of guy, aren't ya?"

Duo casually put the milk back in the frig, half expecting Heero to come unstrung, pick up the whole appliance and pound him into the ground like a post with it a couple times. 'Idiot,' he mentally smacked himself. 'What'd you expect him to do, pour out his heart and soul in haiku poetry?'

He wouldn't know what a haiku was anyway.

Heero had to know she loved him… right? Dorothy had told him as much, well OK, she hadn't told him anything. But he got the hint. The 'usual suspicions.' They both knew what she was talking about. At least, right now, he hoped they did. He mentally cursed the blond for the twelfth time that night and went back to their cups. "Come on, bud, you can open up a little, can't ya?" he asked, picking up Heero's cup and finally looking at the man again as he offered it to him.

'Don't kill me. It'd really suck going out like this.'

Heero reaching out with every ounce of composure he had left in him, and took the offered cup. He was boiling and he didn't care if Duo knew it or not. How the smart ass in front of him came to that kind of understanding, he didn't know. He didn't want to know. He refused to even grace that with an answer.

Duo blinked at him. "I guess that's a no." He turned back to his own coffee cup and shook his head. "Man, you gotta let it out sometime."

He only watched him pick up his cup and walk past him back into the living room, not meeting his eyes. He sat down on his backwards chair again and sipped at the cup, for once staying quiet. But Heero had noted the little look that he'd thrown at the door to Hilde's room as he passed it. Just a quick check, probably involuntary.

He finally relented his anger again. He was overreacting, something he prided himself on never doing. It didn't pay to get emotional.

Staring into his cup he backed his feelings down. Duo didn't know what he was talking about anyway. There was no way in the few times the two had seen each other that he would have been able to tell anything from Relena. He was just poking at his patience like usual.

Taking the cup he decided to be 'sociable' and join his 'friend' at the table. Leaving on the kitchen light, it added a glow into the dark living room. He took his seat again, finally tasting the coffee. He didn't actually have an inclination to the stuff, but it was there.

Duo had his face laid against an arm over the chair back, his other hand still on his mug. "Didn't mean to touch a nerve," he apologized before picking his head up to take a drink.

Again it was a worthless apology, and he only lightly shook his head to brush it off.

"She's goin'a get bored waiting for you," he changed tones again.

Heero raised his eyes to stare over the table at him. Why wouldn't he just let this drop? Well, when did Duo ever let something drop? "What do you want from me?" he finally asked.

The other perked up a little at the question. "He speaks!" he quietly cheered, especially considering they were closer to Hilde's door now. "Look," he sobered again, "all I want is for you to get over your stoic, anti-social, 'I don't need anybody else,' attitude and open up a little."

For some reason Heero didn't find that to be all that conducive to getting him to 'open up.'

Duo sighed again and smacked a hand to his forehead. "Why me?" he complained to himself. "Alright, let's play 'guess what's wrong with the un-conversational pain-in-the-butt'."

Heero just glared at him.

"I'll ask the questions, you be the pain-in-the-butt. You're good at that,"

"Duo…"

He crossed his arms on the chair back and leaned against them, meeting his look. "Yeah, what? Cut the dark and scary crap, and spit it out."

He was not being dark, scary, or a pain in the butt… he was however going to be un-conversational. Because he would be damned if he was going to talk to Duo about anything. Heero pointedly ignored him and turned back to the window for anything else to look at.

Duo sighed. "I quit." From the corner of his eyes he saw him drop his head onto his crossed arms and lay there. "How the hell does she deal with you?" came the muffled grumble.

A flash of anger came up unbidden in him over the comment again, but he squashed it back down. He knew it was futile to get mad at Duo, his arguments never made sense anyway.

"Poor girl. I love her, but she can't be all there to be traipsing after you all this time."

Heero froze, mind and body. He stared openly at the man in front of him, the words ringing cold in his ears. He… what…?

"You're not even cute. I don't get it. You'd think pulling a gun on her and trying to shoot her would deter the average babe. 'Course, we already established she ain't your normal girl. I suppose I'm not one to talk though, am I?" he mindless chuckled. "Hilde looked dang good with a gun herself. Nice snug little spacesuit…"

Duo tapered off with a smile on his face as his check rested on his arm.

Heero reminded himself firmly that it was just an expression. He hadn't meant that he… Did he? Was there a difference? Of course there was, he just wasn't sure about the lines. Right? How did he…?

Duo chuckled again, apparently still lost in his own little fantasies. "Tell me you've at least done something to tell her that you care. Don't waste all my faith in you."

His faith in him? What was that supposed to mean? Taking the chance, he finally blinked the shock back and raised his cup to take another drink. "Hn."

"Good boy," he commented, the stupid grin still in the place on his sideways face. "I know it wasn't easy for me to admit stuff to Hilde either. Crud, still isn't. You and me, we're just not used to it." He sighed, looking about half asleep after all of this. "It gets easier."

Heero sat, holding his coffee cup, wondering why he was listening to Duo of all people spout about love. Moving on sucks sometimes.

"But, hey, you got a good girl."

That was it. He'd had it. "How would you know?"

"Hum?" he seemed confused that he'd actually been interrupted from his babbling. Making a production out of blinking his eyes back open, he moved his head to put only his chin on his arm this time. "What do you mean? Of course I know. I actually talk to people, unlike some of us," he grumped.

"Really?" he questioned.

"Sure! I call every couple weeks. Doesn't she tell you that?" he asked before brushing it off again and laying his head back down. "Well, OK, so Hilde calls her, but I'm usually around. Got to keep tabs on you somehow. What sort of person doesn't own a phone?"

"I have a work line."

"Will you give me the number?"

"No."

"Oh, big surprise there." He puffed a sigh. "Quatre does the same thing, did you know that either? They chat once in a while, not sure how often. And you know her and Dorothy gossip back and forth. Crud, she's even said that Sally pops in just for conversation sometimes."

Heero sat mulling that over. He had no idea that Relena kept up with them all so much.

Duo chuckled at something, "She's actually asked why we all make her your go-between. Well, gee, can't imagine why that is." He snorted, "Nothing ever comes out of you voluntarily. You're worse than Wufei, he'll at least yell at me."

"You can go stay with him then."

"Hey!" Duo popped his head back up. "I'm trying to be nice," he returned a glare of his own. "I like both of you just enough to give you a good solid shove in the right direction and you're being a thankless jerk."

Heero sighed to himself at the outburst and turned back to the window.

"You need it," he snipped at him.

"Why do I need it?" Heero refuted him.

Duo apparently hadn't expected that and stopped. "Duh. Same reason I need it. Same reason Trowa needs it. Same reason we're talking the long way home tomorrow and I'm going to beat down Quatre's door. Same reason I'm avoiding Wufei, because he's just got issues. Don't you get it?"

He boredly turned back to face him, interested only enough to figure out why he was being so confusing.

"These girls. This group. It's all we've got. Yeah, I know we're all used to being on our own, but this isn't a war anymore. All we've got left is bad memories and nightmares, and it sucks." Duo moved an arm to point a finger at him. "And don't tell me it doesn't get to you too. It's too damned quiet anymore. I ain't complaining, but it gets hard when there's nothing left to concentrate on."

He went back to crossing his arms on the chair back and just pointedly stared at him. Heero returned the look, not knowing what to say to that. He understood. Probably a third of the population understood. It was most of the reason MarieMaia had recruited soldiers so easily.

During the war… no, for all his life, he tried to never look back. When staying alive was your present, you didn't worry about the past, or the future. Everything was day to day when you were concentrating that hard. Now, they no longer had that focus to keep them grounded in the here and now.

But what that really had to do with the girls, he didn't know. How did dragging them into this help those feelings? He certainly had no intentions of ever pouring out his life story to Relena. She'd never asked. It was part of how she seemed to know him.

Duo may understand what was ingrained in them all, but Relena somehow knew when to leave it alone in him. Leave it lay right where it was unless something came out. He idly wondered if she was ever curious about it. Or if she just honestly didn't want to know.

There was a time when he felt that protecting her was enough. A time when just ensuring that she lived to fight her own battles was enough. He never wanted to be next to her. Never wanted to be held up against that mirror. Afraid he'd have to reveal the worst of himself to her, and to himself again.

There was only one other time, before he met her, that he had been faced with just what he was capable of. Faced with what he'd done. When you grew up with it, you didn't know how to believe it was wrong.

"Hey, Heero?" came a softly worried question.

He didn't realize that he'd been lost in thought. "I don't ever want to tell her, Duo," he very quietly admitted, still staring at the tabletop.

"Huh? Tell her what?"

He didn't answer.

"Come on, Heero. Tell her what?"

There was a long list of things that flashed through his mind. Things that until this moment, he hadn't thought of in years. "What I've done," he answered, finding it impossible to explain any farther than that.

The response took a while to come. "You've never talked to her? About anything?"

For once, it wasn't an accusation out of him. He went through their conversations, slowly picking out the bits and pieces. "Only what she already knows," he confirmed. Flashing back a couple months he thought about their drive to her mother's when he'd confessed what he'd done even now as a Preventer. "And what I've done now," he added.

"…Now? What do you mean, now? You're a good guy now."

Heero doubted that the guy he killed thought of him that way. "Stand off in Burumes a couple months ago."

The whispered curse was enough to make Heero figure he didn't need to go into that any farther. "Bad?"

Comparatively, no. "Enough."

There was a lengthy sigh. "Sorry, man."

Worthless apology.

"Relena know?"

He nodded.

"Helps to have friends, doesn't it?"

Heero blinked and slowly raised his eyes to find Duo also staring at the tabletop. 'Helps to have friends'? What did that have to do with…?

Finally it clicked.

* * *

"I finally get you to admit that you're in love with him, and then you shut down on me again," Dorothy sighed to herself, rubbing at a temple. Getting her to crack was harder than she'd thought.

She was going to have to change tactics soon.

"Dorothy, what else can I tell you? We're not dating, and we're not running away to elope!" the other blond lay sprawled on her bed, looking like a wilted flower under the constant bombardment.

"Well, the eloping was a bad idea anyway. Do you have any idea what the media would do to the two of you?" she hummed to herself.

"Ruin my career and tear Heero to shreds," the other answered off-hand.

She nodded, understanding full well the extent of the trouble the two would have if and when the news that the former Queen of World had fallen for someone. "So, how are you considered not dating?" Dorothy wondered back to her, ignoring the more unpleasant side.

Relena sighed. "You mean aside from the fact that I'm not allowed to leave any secured areas without my entire team present… and that they don't know?"

"Oh," she considered. "I do suppose that could be troublesome."

Relena moved her head to look up at her as Dorothy sat perched on the edge of her bed. "I think they've gotten suspicious though," Relena whispered, a sparkle to her eyes.

"Really?" she returned a sarcastic expression. "Do you mean that your beloved has actually slipped and shown—gasp—a sign of affection?"

Relena specifically turned sour and looked away again. "I don't know where all of you come up with the idea that he's just so horribly unemotional."

Dorothy raised an eyebrow and considered each and every amount of time she had ever been near the man… "I think you'll have to forgive me for that impression."

"Well, he's not," she snipped.

Dorothy narrowed her eyes at the woman lying in front of her. "I don't believe it," she prodded.

"You just haven't seen him in the right situations."

She felt her smirk tug at her lips. "I've seen the two of you together, I would hardly call any of that romantic. Are you sure you're not just imagining things? Wishful thinking and all?"

"Wishful thinking doesn't kiss you," Relena blurted out, and then snapped her eyes open wide.

"Finally!" Dorothy cheered herself and then flopped down beside her, propping her chin up to look down at the other's face. She gave her a full smile when Relena's startled gasp turned into a red blush as she looked away. "Come on now. It's good to tell these types of things," she poked at her shoulder a couple times. "Tell me!"

Relena let out a pitiful groan to herself. "If Heero knows I told you this, he'd…"

"Glare at you and wouldn't talk for a month," Dorothy supplied with a chuckle. "Now what are girl friends for if I didn't promise not to tell?"

"I don't trust you," came the bitter remark.

Alright, she probably deserved that, especially considering her and Duo's little… agreement. But she gave her an aghast look of hurt just the same. "Miss Relena, you can't mean that? After all we've been through."

"Dorothy, that's exactly why I don't trust you."

She dropped the act, and just laid there, giving the other woman a happy little patient look as she waited.

Relena finally got tired of being stared at and sighed. "Fine. We've kissed. I've confessed my feelings to him. He's returned… well, that he trusts me—which means a lot coming from Heero. And now we're just going on as usual."

How utterly boring. "All at the same time?" she questioned, finding this to not be worth the effort of getting it out.

"No, not at the same time."

Well, that was a little better. "At least tell me he's a good kisser," she chuckled.

The blush, if possible, got darker and Relena finally took a pillow off the bed and put it over her face to hide it. "Why did I admit this?"

Dorothy shook her head in dismay. "Why are you so ashamed of talking about it?" she asked instead.

She peeked back out from under the pillow. "I'm not ashamed," came the muffled response.

She blinked down at her. "Then why so afraid? You know, he knows, the rest of the world doesn't, this is the best time that you'll ever have."

The pillow fell away again. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Dear Relena," she softened. "As soon as the news crews catch word of this you two will never get a moment alone, and Heero's going to be pining for a placement on Mars for the next ten years. Enjoy the peace while it lasts, the battles won't be pretty," she smirked.

Relena's eyes clouded a little as she looked away again, her thoughts apparently lost.

Dorothy cringed lightly and then mentally kicked herself. "You hadn't really thought of that, had you?"

"I've thought it. I've thought of it more than I'd like to admit," she stated softly. "The Foreign Minister has officially asked me to run again on his ticket next year."

She raised an eyebrow at her. "Is there any doubt that you won't?"

Relena turned back to her, her eyes slightly hollow. "I haven't given him my answer yet."

Dorothy pushed herself up to lean on her fully extended arms. "Why?"

"What if I wasn't in the spotlight anymore?" she questioned. "What if I just sort of walked away from it all? Let someone else take over… Give us a chance?" she dropped to a whisper.

She stared down at her friend, the look in her eyes meaning that she was serious, although she couldn't believe the words. "You can't just walk away from your position."

"Why not?"

Dorothy faltered again. That was a good question really, just not one that she thought she would ever hear from Miss Relena. "I can't imagine Heero would want you to do that, even for him," she tried instead. "Not to mention that if you leave your position, the excuses that you have to be together will be gone."

Relena nodded. "But we'd be… normal. He'd have his job still, just a different placement. I'd be around here, available. Who's to say that something wouldn't work out?"

"Just because you leave the office doesn't mean the media will leave you. It's inescapable now, Miss Relena," she softly reminded her. "And there's one important thing you should remember."

"What's that?"

"Heero is a Gundam pilot. And should anyone ever come up with proof of that, you're going to need to be in a position where you can refute it."

Relena blinked at her. "Only you would think of that," she mumbled.

She shrugged, "You and dear Lady Une are the best line of defense any of them have. Besides, who's going to believe someone spouting off horrible insinuations about the boyfriend of the Queen of Pacifism?"

The other only sighed.

Dorothy mildly relented from the whole topic. "Do you want to quit?"

"No," she easily admitted.

"Then don't. Mr. Yuy has always been wonderfully resilient. I do believe you'll find that nothing will deter him easily," she added.

Slowly a knowing smile entered Relena eyes and then touched her lips. "You may be right."

"Of course I am," she waved it off. "Now," she laid back down on her stomach, kicking her feet into the air behind her, "onto the original question. Is he a good kisser?" she smirked.

The smile widened but the blush easily returned as she hugged the pillow shyly back to her chest. "Oh, you have no idea."

Perfect. Now, how was she going to tell Duo what she promised not to tell him…?

* * *

"The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend." - _Henry David Thoreau_

"True love brings up everything - you're allowing a mirror to be held up to you daily." - Jennifer Aniston


	12. Chapter 12

AN: wildfire-sky05, thanks so much. I always need the 'English teacher' tips!

Specifically for my regular beloved reviewers, the Dorothy/Duo scene is dedicated just for you guys. I got so many wonderful compliments on them being so funny that I couldn't resist.

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 12

"Yo, Cat, what's up?"

"Mr. Maxwell, back to the junkyard already?"

"_Salvage _yard, Mrs. Winner."

"Oh, very funny."

"Hey, I call 'em as I see 'em."

"And does this particular call have a point?" Dorothy's weary sounding voice asked over the line.

"None at all," Duo happily answered.

"Well, then, I suppose I'll have to you give you mine," she returned, the snicker in her voice giving away her typical smirk.

"I knew you had something! Spill," he gushed.

"Well, after a long, teary-eyed, heart to heart with out favorite little love-struck girl… I've had to swear on everything holy, and a few things that aren't, that I'll never tell you, or anyone else, what was said."

"Perfect," he cheered. "Anything has got to be better than what I got out of Heero."

"You mean you got something?"

Duo snorted over the line. "Are you kidding? The man would rather be shot than talk about his feelings. But I got him to flinch a couple times."

"And what does that mean?"

There was a happy chuckle from him. "Basically, it means I'm thankful to still be alive today. But otherwise it means that he's dealing with stuff he hasn't before."

"Well, my my, aren't you just so insightful," Dorothy sarcastically put in.

"Hey, you don't go through hell with someone and not pick up a little here and there."

"Hell can be a very large place, Mr. Maxwell."

"Would you knock off the 'Mr.' stuff?"

"Would you prefer Ms.? It'd match your hair."

Duo snorted, "Yeah, this coming from the hair-clog poster child."

"Touchy," she laughed.

"Whatever, Brows, are you going to tell me or not?"

"Not with that attitude."

"Oh, come on!" he whined. "You're not going to start holding out on me now."

"Say, please."

"What?" he cried.

"Go on, say please and I'll tell you what I can," Dorothy clarified.

There was a strangulation sound from the background. "You've gotta be kidding."

"Well, someone needs to teach you some manners, Grimace Reaper."

He sniffed. "As if I'm going to learn anything from some snotty, little, rich, psycho."

"We all have our strong points," she chuckled.

"And mine is going to be kicking your hair if you don't tell me, Cockroach!"

There was full, genuine laugh this time from her end of the line. "Oh," she cooed, "poor, dear, little Grimmy. Did I say something offensive?"

"That's why I like ya," he half-grumbled.

"Good," she snipped.

"Come on, Cat. I don't have all day."

"Oh, you're no fun," she tisked.

"No, your boyfriend is no fun. I'm a blast."

"Yes, you're your own party favor," she added dryly. "But please, tell me you didn't say anything to Quatre. He's already nagging at me to leave them alone."

There was a nervous chuckle from Duo's end. "Uh… you may want to lay low from him for a little while," he quietly confessed in his best 'I'm cute, don't hurt me' voice.

"Duo!" she screeched. "That braid is cutting off the blood flow to your brain."

"It wasn't my fault!" he defended. "Hilde didn't know better than to say something in front of him."

"Oh, great, blame the woman. That's taking a manly share of your responsibility, _Ms_. Maxwell."

"Doesn't matter. We'll deal with Q later," he brushed it off. "He's too much of peacemaker to say anything anyway."

"Well, let's hope that at least one of you has some tact," Dorothy grumbled back.

There was a loud "Pltttttt," from the other end as he blew a raspberry into the phone.

And Dorothy cracked up laughing.

"Now, speak! Come on, I'm dying here."

"One could hope."

"Cat!" he warned.

Sighing loudly Dorothy grudgingly started in. "You didn't hear this from me."

"Hear what?"

"Very good," she applauded the effort. "Well, it seems that our beloved couple is... a bit farther advanced than I would have assumed."

There was a lengthy pause. "…Huh?"

Dorothy gave him an annoyed sigh. "I think they're moving right along without us."

Duo just laughed. "Then Relena's must be moving right along without Mr. 'my spandex is too tight.'"

"I dearly hope he didn't bug your phone while you were here," she giggled.

"You think I'd take that kind'a chance? I've got a redirector on a payphone."

"Oh, talk about an overkill."

"Hey, being glared to death ain't pretty."

Dorothy laughed into the phone.

"Now, come on, give me something to work with. I know better than to think the stoic is just randomly emoting all over the place when we're not around."

"Emoting, no. But taking strange risks, yes."

"Say what?" he was confused.

She gave a dark chuckle. "I don't believe our dear boy will be dropping to a knee any time soon, but we are going to have to start giving him a little credit in the romance department."

"I don't believe it," Duo vocally waved it off. "The guy's still half rock. Which is half better than he used to be, but come on."

"Perhaps that's just because of you're award winning conversational skills."

"…Just how much did you get?"

"More than I ever wanted," Dorothy distinctly stated, sounding exasperated.

The pause lengthened. "Seriously?"

"Uh hum."

There was an amazed sounding curse from his side of the line. "And he didn't even let me in on it."

She giggled. "What, you mean you boys aren't that close?" she teased.

"How'd you do it?"

"I stuffed her full of chocolate and swore on my own grave not to repeat it."

"…So I guess that means you're not actually going to tell me, huh?"

"No."

"Chocolate?"

"It'd work on me."

"I'll be sure to tell Quatre that."

"Oh, he's already gotten the memo," she brushed it off.

"Yeah? So what do you use on guys?"

"Lipstick."

"What?" came his indignant cry.

"Somehow I don't think that would work too well with Heero though," she mused.

"I think I'd like to see you try," he cracked up laughing. "If he didn't kill you, Relena would."

"Possibly…"

"I didn't realize you were so 'adventurous,' Lady Cat."

"Oh, don't get all depraved on me, Grimmy. I'm not that type of girl," she lowered to a whisper.

"Never know about you kinky, world-take-over types," he grumbled. "But what do we do with them?"

"Under the threat of being 'glared to death?' Nothing. At least not for the moment. They are progressing, and I'd take that as a good sign."

"Really?" came Duo's disbelieving question.

"Alright, fine, so I just can't think of anything to do that won't end up with us in jail."

There was a weary sigh, "You and me both, Brows." He paused, "Think you have enough lipstick to get Quatre to bail us out?"

There was a click as Dorothy's end of the line disconnected.

* * *

The clock on his computer peeped at him as it turned five o'clock, his reminder that the rest of the building would be empting out. His report steadily filed onto the page regardless of the clock's time keeping. It would be approximately fifteen more minutes before he completed the requested paperwork and would then allow himself to leave.

It was the same drill that Heero was used to by now. The annoyance of the paperwork was one thing, but the fact that he was typically just bored enough to do it was another. There were very few on-going projects that he could focus on in spare time, and the trips abroad had been routine the last few months.

At least to his reports they were routine.

He'd neglected a few of the developments that would end up getting his badge stripped and Relena hauled before a political firing squad. Such as their… unnecessary flight from the residence of Representative Breshard.

Heero had found no reason or excuse to attempt something that potentially damaging again.

The current report in front of him highlighted the repairs made to the outside security monitoring equipment set up at Relena's mother's residence. It was in perfect order and would be functioning by the time they arrived there tonight.

Relena would be making a short trip out of this weekend. Typical she would take a day off and extend her weekends at her mother's estate. But her workload was unfortunately heavier than his was at the moment.

But this would be a nice break for her, and he knew she was looking forward to it. Heero was slowly beginning to identify with Relena's need to return to her childhood home from time to time. She was different there. Un-pressured, she tended to be much more playful, open, peaceful.

It was nice to just see her have some fun when the cameras were off and she didn't have to be the world's savior. Although, getting used to her teasing side was still taking a little getting used to.

Heero paused his typing and quietly eyed the little plant on its stand in the corner of his office. It had been Relena's 'congratulations' present to him for his Presidential award. Which he had found extremely odd, but he was getting used to that feeling after this long.

Originally, he had left it on his desk, where he had found it when he'd walked back in after an assignment briefing. He'd read the card, _'Something not 'standard issue' for you. - Relena.'_ and had stared suspiciously at the little green viney thing for a while. Figuring it was another one of those 'feminine' things that he was running into again; he at first ignored it, much like the award certificate hanging on his wall.

It had sat on his desk for most of the day before he'd silently remembered the included directions to place in a sunny area. He deciphered that his desk didn't get as much light as it would nearer to the windows. So, he'd proceeded to move it to the corner of the two glass walls, figuring it couldn't complain about it there.

However, the little thing looked rather odd sitting on the floor in the unused corner by itself. So he had moved one of the extra chairs from around his desk to the corner and sat the plant on that instead. By the end of the day he had decided that Relena was just trying to see how much time she could get him to spend on a stupid plant.

It was the next morning when Sally made one of her random trips into his office that she noticed the plant and chair in the corner. She'd raised an eyebrow at him and asked what the plant had done wrong to deserve the 'time out.'

He'd blinked at her, totally at a loss for what he'd done wrong with the thing now. He'd have thrown it out if it wasn't for the fact that sooner or later Relena would find out, and he wasn't sure how attached she'd be to the gift. …She'd kept the teddy bear after all; he supposed he should keep the plant.

Sally had proceeded to laugh at him, and then finished whatever she needed and walked out again. The morning after that, she returned with a wire mesh contraption. Not even bothering to acknowledge him, or Wufei who was curiously following her, she set the plant-stand up, moved the pot to it, and then replaced his chair back to the front of his desk.

Smiling at the two, they both stared back at her. Finally she let out a defeated sigh and told them it just looked better that way. Leaving them behind, Wufei had simply shook his head and moved out too, with a smile tugging at his lips.

And so the little plant stayed, and it seemed to be… living. He remembered to water it first thing every Wednesday morning, and Sally would randomly pick off a few yellow leaves once in a while. He hadn't figured out the exact pattern or color that she typically looked for, so he left the pruning mostly to her.

He still wondered if Relena sent it just to see how much time he could take up with a plant.

Looking from the little green thing, he gazed out the windows it sat against, eying the Capital building across the street. Relena had requested to leave around six this evening, giving her time to finish up a few things at her office before leaving it behind for the weekend. The others should be headed home to gather their personal items for the trip and would be meeting him here at a quarter till.

Focusing back on the unfinished report, and then to the clock, he decided that the report could just stay that way. It wasn't like him to stop in the middle, but it wouldn't harm anything to come back to it later when he had more time. Or when he just felt more like it.

Heero was definitely being too lenient with himself these days. He cast an annoyed look over to the plant.

* * *

The drive to her mother's was a little strange starting out this late in the day. The fall days were short and the sun had set during their travel time, casting the car into dim twilight as the fading blues and purples sank into the ocean waves. It was beautiful and peaceful, the drive quiet, as always between them.

Relena finally gave up on the data pad in her hands and switched the thing off. She hadn't been able to concentrate anyway. If it weren't the scenery, it would have simply been Heero's presence. These quiet times alone with him were so rare that she really didn't want to spoil it by even trying to think about work.

Not that she could anyway. The data pad was just an excuse to let her mind wonder where it would. Well, no matter now. It was getting too dark to read by, and she didn't mind at all just passing the time in idle reflection with him.

"Mars?" came the quiet question from him.

She nodded, not sure how he'd picked up on what she'd been looking through. "Yes. So far so good. With the colony functioning, the interior building is still progressing. We send off our first group of terraforming scientists next month to being the preparations."

He nodded, absorbing the information. "Zechs and Noin?"

Relena smiled, but held back her chuckle. "Both are blissfully happy," she answered.

The expression was quick, but she still managed to catch the dubious glance he gave her.

She laughed at him, knowing he and her brother would never exactly 'play nice' together. Duo had commented once that the two were definitely testing the idea that looks can kill. But at least Heero was to the point where he tried to seem interested. Shaking her head, she moved the data pad to the back seat. "All of my peace efforts and I still can't do a thing with the two of you."

"Wrong audience."

Relena just died laughing, covering her mouth with both hands. Leaning over, she laid her head against her passenger window. The joke wasn't actually all that funny, and if it were from anyone else she would probably defend both of their abilities to strive for a peaceful future.

…But Heero Yuy had made a joke.

_That_ was funny.

Even with a bad sense of humor, she just had to love him. "Heero," she tried to sound berating, but failed miserably as she continued to chuckle.

He was obviously amused that she was amused, because she caught the little smile to his expression as he steered them along.

"What am I going to do with you?" she shook her head. Reaching over she poked him in the arm a couple times. "If you two weren't so alike you'd get along better," she accused.

"If we weren't so different we would too," he refuted her, reaching up to snag her hand so she'd quit poking him.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at the sentiment. "You are the only people I can literally say that the world is not big enough to keep you two far enough apart."

"Hn."

Well, at least he admitted to it. Relena turned to the dimming scenery again as they fell quiet, before noting that he hadn't released her hand. Relena flicked her eyes over the consol they laid against and then specifically looked away.

And just like that, she realized that they were… holding hands.

She had no idea why, but it felt strange. She tried not to move at all, not wanting to seem uncomfortable. She didn't want to pull away, but she figured if she moved, he would release her. That would only be more awkward than this was. Maybe she'd just stay until he needed his hand back to drive with. Would that seem… forward?

The whole situation just made her feel stupid. It was a tiny, perfectly normal, display of affection, right? She was in love with the man. They'd kissed before. Now, all of sudden, she was nervous about holding his hand?

Their relationship honestly did not make sense.

Of course, that was probably why it felt weird. Suddenly, they were just two teenagers, holding hands and driving down a quiet road together on their way to her mother's house. It was like she was bringing home her boyfriend to meet the family or something.

Just something… normal.

The thought stirred a number of emotions in her as she tried to force her mind away from the odd feeling of his hand around hers. Could he sense her uncertainty? His hand made absolutely no move either; perhaps he was unsure how to pull away too?

Pull away. Something normal. A real relationship. It all brought up things in her mind that were a little disturbing.

Relena Darlian had still not given the Foreign Minister her answer as to whether or not she would consent to being his running mate in next year's election. She would be eighteen by just under two months by the time the ballets were actually cast, making her truly legal for the position even without the governmental allowance that they had granted her when she expressed the desire to be the one to fill her father's place.

The last time that she mentioned to Heero anything about why she kept her position, she had told him that she wanted to make a difference. She wanted to be useful. She said she didn't care about being normal.

Maybe she'd spoken too soon. The pressures on her were heavy at times, but they weren't anything she couldn't take. Especially with Heero beside her now, they seemed almost trivial. There was a joy to her these past few months that she knew she could only associate with the knowledge that he was close by. Not only as a protector… but as someone she was in love with.

And who honestly trusted her too.

It wasn't exactly the wording that she would like to someday have, but it was a compliment and an honor far beyond anything she'd ever felt. His emotions were so precious, mainly because it was rare to see them. He was such a guarded soul. As long as she remembered that, they would be fine.

Rushing him would only work to her disadvantage. He was far too calculated to give in to random pressures. From her, or any such longhaired, former-pilot friend of his. Or another such longhaired 'friend' of hers.

Relena was almost thankful that the two couldn't stand each other, because she didn't even want to know what those two hair-brains would plot together.

Assassination and terrorist masterminds be danged. She was much more afraid of what her own friends were capable of. …Granted her friends probably classified as assassins and terrorists, didn't they?

Pushing that aside, she went back to her thoughts on the Minister's offer. She'd expected it to come, she didn't know why it had startled her so much.

"_Miss Relena, may I come in?" the shorter, slightly pudgy man at her door smiled when she looked up from the monitor._

"_Of course," she quickly waved him in, standing to her feet as he entered. "How was your conference in L1?"_

"_Good, good," he nodded as he waved her back down in her seat. "They didn't even need me." The man was too modest, and she knew it. "I have something to talk to you about," he went on, taking a seat as well._

"_Of course," she answered, ready for a new assignment from him._

"_Relena, I have already been contacted by a number of supporters and media reporters. They want to know if and when I plan on announcing my willingness to run again for next year's election." He smiled at her, "I would like to be able to tell them that I will run. And with you as my Vice Minister nominee."_

_Relena blinked, at a loss for what to say exactly. Campaigning always began early, she was well aware of that. But the idea of seeing her name formally on a nomination sheet was a little intimidating._

_He must have seen the uncertainty in her because before she could think of anything to say to that, he had held up his hand to her. "You don't need to decide all at once. It's a six-year term. You should take some time to consider it properly. You're so very young. No one would blame you if you wanted to move your life to somewhere else."_

"_Thank you," she had finally managed to get out._

"_My dear, I would be lying if I said it didn't matter to me what you decide. I do hope that you will stay with me. I believe you are the best for the job. Actually, you're probably the best for my job," he winked at her. "But, again, I would never blame you. Think about it."_

She had guaranteed him that she would think on it, and give him her answer as soon as she was sure.

However, she was beginning to find that being sure about anything in her life was a luxury that she didn't often get. Most of the time all she could hope for was to lean one way farther than the other. Relena had grown accustomed to some insecurity.

She had told herself that she would speak to her mother about it sometime this weekend, asking her advice. But she knew that her mother would advice her to follow her own heart, because she knew the first question would simply be, 'Do you want to?'

Everyday this week, when she walked into her office, she had paused and looked at her desk, the walls, the cabinets, and realized that her life was literally what glued all of these processes together. Often it was tedious and nerve-racking, and sometimes she wanted to just run away screaming, but looking back at the past two years those weren't the times she saw. What she saw was the pride and sense of accomplishment in being helpful to a cause or a group.

She liked the feeling. She knew she was good at it. And, truthfully, she didn't know what else she would do with herself if she quit.

But the downside of accepting meant that she would be keeping this decision for six years. She'd be twenty-four by then. Still younger than the majority of politicians, but at an age where most women find themselves married and contemplating children.

Her thoughts didn't even want to go that far.

But even at that, she could handle the thought of being 'locked in' so to speak for that amount of time. What did tend to get to her was the thought that as soon as she put in her agreement to run, the Minister would announce their bids and the media would be over every movement they made. Campaigning… wouldn't be pretty.

For her friends and her mother and Pegan, it would be tiresome and a nuisance. From a purely security motivated standpoint, it would often be a nightmare. Her team would be put on edge far more than normal and her schedule of events would be pushed up as far as humanly possible. Their leniencies would be abolished out of pure necessity.

…And any type of personal relationship would be impossible.

It wasn't only that time would be obsolete, not to mention that time alone would be completely forbidden, but should anything be found as proof of involvement… Especially during the campaign, an accusation that there was something inappropriate going on between her and one of her security team would destroy her credibility.

Relena honestly didn't know if Heero was ready for such an extensive test to his patience.

"_Mr. Yuy has always been wonderfully resilient. I do believe you'll find that nothing will deter him easily."_ Dorothy was probably right. He would take all of it in. And whether he liked it or not, he would do his job and lead his team. Ensuring her safety.

But she didn't want that to be the end-all of what they had. She didn't want to put this on hold for a year while the media blinded them from all sides. To be honest though, she had no way of knowing or believing that anything would come out of the same year if she didn't take it and had nothing to do.

She was tempted to bring this up. To ask him about it. Truthfully, if she was going to convince herself that Heero had this much say in her life, then it shouldn't be only her decision. It should be made by both of them.

But he would never think of himself in that role to her. At least not as things stood now. And she wasn't sure that she could possibly explain this to him. He wouldn't even want the job of trying to influence her decisions.

Something, somewhere, had to give.

They coasted around a bend in the winding road and Relena turned away from her thoughts to look over at the man beside her. Noticing, he glanced her way, catching her eyes for just a moment as she flashed him a smile. She turned back to the darkened road ahead, and gave his hand a light squeeze, more than happy for the feel of it now.

She was counting on him to hold her hand through this.

* * *

"We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together." - La Bruyere 


	13. Chapter 13

AN: (sheepishly peaks around the corner of the stage) Um… I'd like to apologize to my readers who have (VERY SPECIFICALLY) informed me that I don't update often enough, but who still love me even if I am a bum. :) I do promise to re-commit myself to not shoving this to the back-burner as I have done before. However, these chapters really do take much more time and effort for me, so I'm sure I won't be as speedy as we all would like. I am truly thankful to all of you who keep reading!

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 13

"You two are actually kind of stuck, you know that?"

Relena sat at the picnic bench set up at the far end in the patio area. Ry was seated next to her, quickly becoming the next in the list of her friends who were creatively sniffing for information on herself and Heero.

"Stuck?" she asked, the incredulous note in her voice was enough to let him know she didn't appreciate the topic.

Ry turned towards her, placing one foot up on the bench and leaning into his knee, his brown green eyes sparkling with the mischief. "Well, yeah. Think about it, who else are you going to date?"

"Ry, we are not dating," she tiredly informed him.

He waved it off. "Yeah, because you can't go anywhere without the three of us mood killers chaperoning."

"That is not it." After all, the three of them had begun making more and more insinuations about the two of them since they had found out that her necklace was from Heero. Apparently the three had decided it was rather obvious for the two to be 'a couple.'

"Whatever," he grumbled.

Relena tapped her nails against the tabletop and then turned to look at him, curious enough to wonder at him. "What do you mean stuck?" she took the bait.

Ry held his hands up and gave her an odd look. "Come on, who else do either of you have?"

"Excuse me?" she regarded him evenly.

"Well, let's see. First off, we have 'Preventer Special Agent, Heero Yuy,' ex-Gundam pilot extraordinaire. The man's only resume skills are blowing things up, and preventing things from blowing up."

Relena tossed a hand over her mouth as she gave him a shocked look, shaking her head back and forth. "Ry, quit that," she muttered out finally. "That's not true." She quickly scanned the back area to be sure that no one would have overheard that.

"Oh, yeah," Ry made a production out of rolling his eyes. "Where else is he going to go? I'm sorry; I just can't see him taking the gardener position. Honestly, between the glaring and the whole 'silent and deadly' act, it still just doesn't take much to water the fichus once a week."

Relena mentally kicked herself for not being able to hide her laughter at that. "All right, that's enough," she stated, holding up a hand. "I will remind you that he is your superior officer… for good reason," she added, poking him in the chest.

He snorted, "Yeah, he threatened someone within an inch of their lives to not get the filing job."

"Ry!" she chided.

"Come on, the guy doesn't exactly have the personality to get the girls lined up at the door."

She sighed loudly at him, refusing to answer that.

"And yet, somehow, for some unknown freaking reason, he's dating the most eligible bacheloret in the Earth Sphere. Tell me how that happens?" he added, making wild hand gestures.

She tilted her head back and giggled, feeling half-embarrassed for even being in this conversation. "Maybe I think he's cute. And we're not dating," she added.

Ry's arms slumped straight down at his sides, and his whole body simply drooped. His foot slipped off the seat and he ended up sitting with one foot on either side of the bench, facing her. "You have got to be kidding me."

Relena laughed at him and then shook her head. "Alright, that may not be the only reason."

"I should hope not," he muttered.

"What's wrong with that?" she snickered.

"Something a little above the belt would be good," he muttered, which promptly got him yelled at.

"You keep your mind out of the gutter!"

"Whoa, deal!" he held up both hands, and the promptly dropped them. Changing expression he leaned in, "Cute?"

She sighed again, knowing that was not the best word she could use for him, and shook her head. "If Alli can drool over him, I think I'm entitled," she sniffed, remembering the last time there were here.

That got a reaction. "Really?"

Again she giggled at his crestfallen expression. "Oh, it's harmless," she assured him.

"Really?"

"Ry." She shoved him lightly until it jostled him out it.

"Fine, then," he grumbled before turning serious. "Moving on to you."

"Me what?" she blinked.

"Well, we've established that you're a very eligible young woman. And if I have to say so myself, also very cute," he reached out and tried to pinch her cheek until she swatted him away. "And we've established that you don't get out much."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, let's see. You can't leave the house without at least four officers surrounding you, not to mention that at least one of those wouldn't be all that keen on the idea of you going with someone else," he winked. "And you can't be seen with anyone under a five-point security clearance. That's not good for the whole dating scene."

She gave him an aghast snort. "You're suggesting that I'm dating Heero because it's convenient?"

"I didn't think you were dating," he chuckled.

"We're not!"

He laughed at her instead, but nodded. "You have to admit that your prospects are rather limited, especially since this gorgeous stud in front of you is already taken."

Relena shook her head. "You wish. And that could be rearranged if you're not careful. Besides, I did not choose a political career to flirt with my security."

"No… but someone chose an assignment with you. An assignment, I might add, that involves doling out those precious five-point security checks." He leaned in and wiggled his eyebrows at her until she burst out laughing at him.

"Ry, you're crazy," she stated, although she had to force down the blush that threatened to tint her cheeks at the thought.

He made a production out of stretching, "Face it, you're stuck."

"Fine," she held up her hands, "I'm stuck. Happy now? But none of that means that Heero couldn't go find some cute officer wondering around his building and dump me."

"I didn't think you were dating."

"Gaaa!" she squawked and threw her head into her hands on top of the table. "You're worse than Duo and I didn't think that was possible," she muttered.

"I really liked that guy," he stated absently. "He seemed a lot more fun."

She laughed and turned to look at him from her position on the table. "He has a five-point check, would you rather I dated him?"

"Oooo…" He shook his head. "I just don't think that would go over well."

"Ry," she picked her head up. "I am _not_ serious," she emphasized.

He sighed, "You know, I just honestly can't picture Yuy using bad pickup lines at the coffee machine."

"…What?"

Ry waved franticly a moment. "Wait, wait." He composed himself, and cleared his throat. "So… you ever seen the inside of a Gundam?" he mimicked.

Relena's jaw dropped at the comment. "Quit that this instant!"

"You into the strong, silent type?"

"Ry!" Again she did a quick check to make sure no one else was around. If Heero heard this…

"Want to find out why they really designated me 01?" he cracked and laughed.

"Stop it!" she hissed.

"Did you know I used to be Vice Minister's boyfriend?"

She pointed at him about to say something, before she stopped. "What?"

"Hey, if he's good enough for you…"

She reached out and punched him in the arm. "Ry Noland!"

He sighed. "Anyway! My point is that I just don't see him all that into other girls."

She rolled her eyes. "Good," she sniffed.

He eyed her, "Not the least bit possessive of someone you're 'not' dating, are you?"

"Not at all," she stated. "He's free to date anyone he chooses."

Ry chuckled and waited.

She shrugged, relenting hopelessly. "As long as she's the most eligible bachloret in the Earth Sphere."

He shook his head and finally stood up. "I don't know which one of you is worse."

Relena continued to chuckle at him as he climbed out of the bench and then gave her a backwards hug. "I do keep strange company," she sighed, patting his arms around her.

He stood up and promptly stuck his tongue out at her as he moved off towards the main patio doors. "You coming?"

"I'm going to finish this first," she motioned to the datapad in front of her.

"You going to be alright by yourself?"

She nodded and waved him off towards the door. Turning back, she shook her head to herself. Why didn't anyone think that the two of them could figure this out on their own? She supposed they meant well, they just wanted to tease them.

Oh, poor Heero. What in the world would he think of all of this?

* * *

He sidestepped Ry as the man came back in through the patio doors, flashing a suspiciously goofy smile at him. Heero was getting used to that, especially out of him. Exiting the house, he slid the door shut against the chilly wind that swirled through this high-walled area of the patio that Relena was seated at.

There was a low chuckle from her for no specific reason he could find, and he paused, watching over her. Tossing her pen down on top of the papers, she ran both hands through her hair, holding the mass of it behind her head and tipping her chin up to the sky above the tree line, over the wall.

The sun was warm but the temperature was rather cool as the early winter weather turned continually colder. The trees were mostly bare, colored in a few clinging oranges and reds here and there in the row at the edge of the property. The afternoons were turning more and more overcast, and he'd heard a number of remarks that the cold rains would be starting in soon.

Heero had very little concern for the weather patterns of this place. It was just one of a hundred items that he felt he needed to find a way to get used to.

He turned a suspicious glance back to the doors that Ry had just entered through, wondering if that man was up to his usual remarks again. Heero was continually expecting comments from most of the people he was around by now. His group had been making insinuations since they had discovered that Relena's necklace had been a gift from him. He tended to ignore it, but Relena had trouble when confronted over such things. He wasn't sure why. He knew her skills for persuasive speaking.

Of course, she was more comfortable with the whole situation than he was still. There were a number of things that nagged on his thoughts. Mostly from outside sources, he was noting.

Duo's excuse for a 'pep talk' still got to him now and then. Not so much what the other man had said, but that his 'friend' assumed to know what was going on between them. And that he was right about it. Although, Heero had yet to figure out what Duo was so adamant that he do about it.

Even Ry now seemed to be attempting to coerce something into happening.

Was Heero just missing something again? And why did this have to be so confusing? The only person he felt like he understood in all of this was Relena, and that was mainly because she hadn't said anything on the issue.

Somehow he imagined that was who he should be concentrating on anyway, but the concern was still there that he just didn't have all the information available to know if he was in the right. How did everyone else seem to figure these things out?

There was very little that the two could manage as things stood now, regardless of 'friendly help' in the matter. A 'relationship' between them could not be made public and could not even get out that far within the Preventer ranks, or he would find himself in violation of his commitment to her as his charge. Heero had no intention of doing something to get himself reassigned. He didn't trust her security that far.

He tried to shake the feeling as Relena let her hair fall back down, moving back to studying the things she was working on. The thick strands of honey-blond tumbled down her back, almost waist length again. She usually never tied her hair up in the two little side braids that she had always worn when he first met her. But here she seemed to fall back into the old hairstyle as casually as she left behind a good deal of the worries and pressures that bombarded her in the Capital.

And it was oddly nice to see again.

The typical, low ponytail, or more formal twists and braids, she tended to wear now was professional, classy, the image that a Vice Minister should portray. He found he liked it better than the shorter, straight cut that she had done when she first took over the position.

Why he found her hair of any interest, he wasn't exactly sure. But he could honestly not help but notice sometimes just how beautiful she was. It was another one of those feelings that tended to tie up his thoughts since there was nothing more urgent to concentrate on. He was still learning to get used to that, although he'd long since given up trying to ignore it.

Relena was never a woman to flaunt her… attractiveness. Especially in her public role. She was modest, conservative, innocent. Her qualities were far more advanced than physical beauty. Her professional side was shown in her appearance as well as her manners. And her skirts had lengthened significantly since the end of the war.

Heero was annoyed with himself for that thought.

Relena meant far more than that to everyone. Sometimes he wondered if he felt selfish for knowing that he was special to her. What made him deserve that? That was actually a long question.

Irregardless, she was the one person in his entire life that he found completely incorruptible. In everything.

Except by him.

It was an old feeling. Something he'd had since before the war even ended. The feeling that he had gotten her into this, had destroyed her normal, peaceful life. Each time he thought of it, he knew it was incorrect. Relena would have been drawn into the war no matter what he did. But the young girl on the beach, who had mistakenly attempted to help a washed up soldier she didn't know…

But she didn't care about any of that. She willing accepted the failures in him along with everything else. Heero found that he truly believed that he was her single downfall. Her… love for him.

Maybe that was honestly what she meant by loving him. She was his, for everything that he'd done right, and everything else that was wrong. She wanted him beside her. And as much as he knew he didn't belong there, he stayed.

Because he was the one corruption of her. The single flaw that kept her human and not angelic.

Just as she was his single grace and conscience that kept him out of the fire.

Originally, those types of thoughts had kept him to himself, kept him from getting too close to her. He'd had no intentions of smudging her tenderhearted soul. But now… Now, it was that sharp edge of pride in him that was whittling down his belief that he would do her more harm than good. It whispered into his conscience that she wanted him near and that it was alright to be close to her.

It would grant her anything she wanted. No. It would make him want anything she wanted.

* * *

Heero thumbed the page down as he continued to read through the material. With little else to work on, he had brought up one of his course replacement texts to read through during his early morning watch. So far he had tested through all of his required math and science courses, which left him with a seemingly random assortment of 'humanities' classes.

He had officially decided that creative writing was not going to do him any good by the third 'recommended' assignment, and had forsaken the course for philosophy instead. It was a lot more reading, but it proved to have several interesting points, and he had noted a number of worthwhile authors that he planned on reading more in depth if there was a chance.

Still in his folder of test preps were two required literature courses, complete with an essay-writing manual. None of the material was difficult, but odd poems about being personified as butterflies and balloons tended to make him wonder about sanity testing for published authors.

He supposed that was why creative writing didn't suit him.

Currently he was a little more engrossed in Introduction to Sociology. A few of the ideas presented he found ridiculous and more like laughable, but for the most part he was finding it… useful. All information was valuable in some way, he assumed.

There was a rustle of movement that reached his ears and Heero quietly marked his place before closing the laptop and casting the room into darkness. It was a cloudy night and with dawn coming later in the fall and winter months, the only light came from the outside street and security lights.

He stood and slipped silently from his position on the couch, placing himself flat against the wall next to the library's first doorway. Nearly silent footfalls sounded on the stairs just around the corner from the room, but the sliding of the blanket along the carpeted steps made enough of a rustle to detect.

The pace skipped a beat as the target carefully stepped over the loose third stair, avoiding the telltale creak. It brought a half-smile to his face as the steps fell onto the tile floor of the front entryway. Bare feet were hard to track across the glassy flooring, but the preceding shadows gave away her position before she quietly slipping into the doorway with a little extended hop over the creaky threshold.

She stopped only a couple steps in, just in front of him, as she scanned the dark room. Relena gave a slightly confused sounding, "Huh," into the dim surroundings.

"You're getting better," he mater-of-factly informed her.

To his surprise, she didn't jump, but instead turned to regard him standing in the shadows next to the doorway. "Are you trying to scare me?" there was a definite smile to her voice.

Not the response he was looking for. "Yes."

She stepped a pace in, but then stopped. "What? Why?"

"You shouldn't be so trusting," he returned.

"In general? …Or of my security team?" she asked, coming up in front of him.

He blinked, knowing it was a tease. "At all times."

Her outline tilted her head to the side, "You don't believe in relaxing, do you?"

Mission failure. Heero internally sighed at the response, annoyed that she was missing his point. "You should be more careful in your own defense," he responded instead, figuring it was already a moot point. He had yet to figure out a way to get her to take any initiative in developing her self-defense skills.

"Yes, I should," she agreed with a nod, although he had a feeling she was being facetious. "But can you teach me to pick handcuffs later? I'd really like to talk to you," she softened.

That wasn't a bad idea actually… Heero shook it off and stepped away from the wall, curious as to what she seemed so bent on saying. Relena turned away and trailed her blanket over to the couch, taking a seat. This was apparently going to be a long conversation.

He followed after her, crossing his arms and standing beside her as she tucked her legs up under her. "I… want your opinion," she started.

Heero leaned against the arm of the couch beside her, watching her outline. His opinion? He rarely, if ever, offered to influence her decisions. He trusted her more than enough to allow her to come to her own conclusions. However, he assumed that if she was asking for something, he would need to try to give her an answer.

"The Foreign Minister has officially asked me to run with him in the election next year," she quietly stated.

He waited, keeping a careful watch on her through the dark.

Relena puffed out a sigh, and then raised her head, apparently looking up at him. "I haven't given him an answer yet, Heero."

He looked down at her, taken aback. "Are you considering not running?"

She paused, quiet for just a moment. "…Can I turn on a light?" she meekly asked.

Heero moved to the table aside the couch and clicked on the crystal lamp. He looked back to her to see if that was good enough and got a smile for it.

"Thanks," she blinked up at him. "I feel a little odd sitting in the dark."

Strange, he felt odd with the light on. But he stepped back to lean against the couch, still waiting for an answer to his question.

Recollecting herself, she seemed to twist her hands together under the blanket that was folded around her shoulders and bunched in her lap. The neckline of her pajama top was cut in V shape, buttoning high, but it exposed more than enough for him to note that the necklace he had given her was still clasped around her throat.

"I have been half-heartedly thinking of saying that I won't run for the position," she talked more to her own hands. "There's just a piece of me that wonders if it's worth it. A year of campaigning will be brutal and I'm more than a little worried what this will bring with it."

The thought of Relena not maintaining her position seemed strange to him, but he had always known that she was unsure with this. She said something a couple times to the effect of waiting to see what would happen when the time under her father's term ran out. It seemed that the decision was actually a year early.

He watched her face as she turned her thoughts over. In a neighborhood park somewhere in L2, she had told him that what she wanted from her position, her life, was to help others and to feel that she had a use. Did she believe now that she had another purpose that would outweigh this? It didn't seem like Relena to let nervousness have this much sway over her.

"What are you worried about?" he asked, trying to find her reasoning.

She looked up at him, her eyes calm but troubled. "The same thing that should worry you. My touring schedule will go through the roof, I'll have three times the amount of press around me as normal, and the media will hound us for every move I make. This is a non-Presidential election year, myself and the Minister will, quite possibly, be the most noteworthy race in the ballet box."

Somehow he didn't feel like that was what was weighing on her mind. "Security constraints will need to be tightened. We can add to the team if necessary." It was the proper protocol for such a question, but she didn't seem to take comfort in it.

Instead she focused back down in her lap. "I'm not worried so much about my safety, Heero."

That came as no surprise to him.

"…I'm worried about you and the team. I'm worried about how this will affect everyone. This may sound immature, but I just don't know that I want to put everyone through that," she admitted.

Heero silently scrutinized her words, finding that he didn't expect anything less from her. She was placing herself second to those who were here to protect her. There wouldn't even be a team if she did not hold the position she had… or at least some position. And Relena would not be happy outside of the realm of government. He knew that. She had found a purpose in politics, and she was very good at what she did.

She had told him that she thought she was selfish for believing that no one else could do her job. But she was right. Her name, and mere physical presence, resolved more tension and harsh words than he would have thought possible if he had not seen it happen so many times. He had finally begun to understand the significance of his own name-sake.

Heero Yuy, the last great bridge between Earth and the Colonies. Relena's father had been cut down before he achieved the same status. But Relena, she had that and then some. She had opened the floodgates. And had, wisely, created the way for many others to do the same type of work.

Although none compared to her, it meant that it would be harder for someone to destroy the ties that now bound them together.

"Can you walk away?" he softly asked.

She raised her chin to look up at him, her eyes searching his for a moment. "If it means sparing you, yes."

"I'm not in this decision," he specifically refuted her, wondering why she was even thinking like this. "I've promised you before that I will stay with you."

Relena stared up at the man in front of her, feeling her heart swell at the words. But she also felt herself shrink, feeling stupid for even debating this. She had never had any doubt that Heero would follow her, no matter where, she had only worried that he wouldn't want to.

The simple fact was that he didn't care.

She should know by now that there was nothing he couldn't do. Facing down an election year was not the same as facing an armed enemy, but he would take it with just as much certainty and forcefulness. Her thoughts, her planned words and questions, disappeared.

Leave it to Heero to displace her entire, neatly planned, speech with one lousy sentence.

She closed her eyes with a smile, mildly chuckling to herself. "Thank you." She meant it, more than he would probably understand. Sliding her feet to the floor again, she unwrapped herself out of her blanket and stood up. He let her pull her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

He returned it, saying nothing and probably at a loss to understand her again. Well, that made two of them, so why bother?

She pulled back some to stand in his arms, not daring to misuse these types of quiet moments. She would have to burn them into her memory for a while. Although he was awfully resourceful, she figured they would be few and far between for a while.

The thought didn't dim her heart though, her fears washing carelessly away. They would find a way, and she knew they would only grow from it. And when everything settled down again she would wonder why she'd been worried.

She felt his bangs brush her forehead and she leaned into him, tipping her face up so that their foreheads met. Maybe Dorothy was right about there being certain touches that were special to different people. As odd as it sounded, Relena couldn't help herself from wondering about her friend's words every now and then. It was… fun. And harmless.

Getting the idea she bit her lip at the thought, before she found her courage and slipped one hand up to run her fingers over the hair at the back of his neck. Opening her eyes she watched what she could of him…

No reaction.

Well, worth a try she supposed. She slipped the hand back to his shoulder and closed her eyes again. "I don't know how I'd get through this without you," she whispered, feeling somehow that she needed to find a way to truly thank him for being beside her.

"You would," he quietly responded.

He always had too much confidence in her. Why didn't he ever see that he was her strength? She revolved around him.

Relena felt him shift and she opened her eyes to look up at him, that soft expression of care etched so deep that she couldn't help but smile. He may never send her mushy Valentine's cards, but she had everything she needed from him in that look.

She hugged him tight again and moved her head to his shoulder, knowing that she didn't get enough of this. Suddenly she wished she hadn't asked him to turn the light on, almost hoping for a cover of darkness around them. She slipped an arm away, sliding down to his chest; feeling snuggled into his warm arms.

But he shifted, pulling away one of his arms as well and raising his hand between them to cover her hand over his heart. Relena felt him pull away just a little as his free arm held her tight around the waist. She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him only long enough to figure out his intentions.

Heero tilted his face down to hers and captured her lips with his. In her own mind she giggled shyly. He was getting much more comfortable with this, and she would never be one to complain. She couldn't help her response as she felt the power of his arm around her and his hand tightly holding hers against his chest.

Now and then she would realize how controlled he was. How strong, and yet how consciously gentle he was. It was not a feeling that she had anywhere else, and it was becoming something that she longed for. Something she felt she surrendered to with no hesitation.

His lips pulled away from hers and she left her eyes closed, continuing to feel his touch even now. She felt just a little squeeze of his hand around hers, and she let herself smile. Maybe Dorothy did know what she was talking about.

"Relena?" He was the only one that pronounced her name like that…

The whispered question brought her eyes open to look at him. His eyes searched hers and she decisively agreed that her favorite color would always be dark blue. "Hm?" she sighed.

That must have come out a little more dreamy than she thought it did, because she noted the distinctly amused expression that entered his eyes and turned a smirk up on his face. She closed her eyes, giving him an embarrassed smile.

She actually heard the soft chuckle from him at her actions, which was enough to make her laugh at herself too. He didn't laugh nearly often enough, but she loved it when he did… even if it was at her expense.

She sheepishly looked back up at him, finding a smile, and couldn't help but return it. If possible, he tucked her in closer, pressing them together against their hands that were still between them. Relena easily accepted his kiss as he leaned into her again, sweetly soothing the embarrassed blush out of her checks for a more intimate flush.

She was acutely aware that the back of his hand was pressed rather close a part of her anatomy that she tended to be very closely guarded of. Drawing attention to that would not be beneficial though, and she willed the heat in her face to go away as she tried to put her mind into concentrating on the soft touch of his lips.

They pulled away, and she nuzzled his check a little as she moved her face into the crook of his neck, attempting to hide the thoughts swimming through her. His cheek lightly brushed hers and she stood completely unmoving in his arms, wishing dawn would never come.

"I must be doing something right," he whispered in her ear.

Relena blinked her eyes open, but didn't move from her place. Did the man ever do anything wrong? "What do you mean?" she whispered back, a smile coming at the idea of the comment.

She felt his free hand move a little to rub her side where he held her. "I still don't feel like I know what I'm doing," he softly admitted.

She wondered a moment if that was something that troubled him still. Figuring she didn't know how to ask that, she moved enough to peck a lingering kiss on his cheek, before moving back to his ear. "Trust your heart. I certainly do," she breathed, rubbing her hand over his chest, as much as she could in his hold, for emphasis.

He leaned into her heavier, and she placed her cheek against his, hoping that would reassure him.

"I love you," she barely whispered, closing her eyes.

* * *

Duo's voice perked up from the phone line. "We can kidnap her and hold her for ransom. Then when Heero gets there he can rescue her and be all 'I thought I lost you'!"

Dorothy sighed, "I already thought of that. The problem is Wufei and the other fifty Preventers with him would shoot us dead before we could say it was a joke."

"…Why do all of our plans end up with us dead?"

"I know. It's getting depressing."

"Anonymous bomb threat?" he tried.

"Seven to ten years."

There was a colorful curse as the phone disconnected once again.

* * *

"Heero?"

He turned at the top of the stairs, looking back to find Mrs. Darlian's smile as she quickly paced towards him. He couldn't help but give her a smirk of a smile in return. Somehow the woman had a way of getting it out of him.

He would have to admit that she was quickly finding a place in his confidence. She, much like her adopted daughter, had found a way to make him trust her, and he held her in a place of respect for her concern for anyone who set foot under her care. It was… nice.

"I have no idea how appropriate this is," she started as he met her in the second floor hallway. The older woman held up a book in her hands, looking down at the cover. "But I decided I would offer it," she nodded to herself, seemingly convincing herself one more time.

"Ma'am?" he questioned.

Looking back up at him, she handed the book over. "I took a good deal of notes from this book many years ago when Mr. Darlian began his public career in politics. You told me when you were here last that you were still learning many of the 'pleasantries' around Relena's constituents."

He blinked at her, taking the offered book from her, more than confused as to what she was getting at.

"It is an etiquette book," she explained with a smile again. "It's old, but it's basics are there, and I thought, if you had any interest at all, that it might be of some use to your position."

He looked down at the thing in question, finding only a deep blue cover embossed with a pattern of gold scroll-work.

"I had a terrible time feeling like I fit in when I accompanied my husband. But you are around our government leaders more than I ever was. I'm sure you're already better than I was, but I thought it couldn't hurt to offer it to you," she finished.

He looked up at the lady in front of him, amazed that the soft-spoken woman ever had trouble fitting in with the politicians. And he knew very well that he was certainly much worse than she obviously thought he was. The act of offering the book was a show of good faith, and he couldn't help but give her another smirk for it. "Thank you, Ma'am," he meant it.

She nodded easily, "I hope it does some good."

"I think it will," he answered.

* * *

They were on the road again for probably twenty minutes before they both noticed it. Relena heard the next song come on the radio before she realized that neither of them usually turned the radio on. Although it was low and she didn't mind it, it was the fifth slow, sappy song in a row.

She raised an eyebrow at the consol as Heero also took a closer look at it. Reaching over he pressed the eject button before she realized that it was actually set to music disk. Taking the ejected disk out, he held it up.

Leaning over she couldn't help but start to chuckle when she saw the title '50 Greatest Love Songs' printed on the front. She met his eyes just a second as he cast her a half-annoyed expression. "Ry," they both confirmed.

He ungraciously tossed the thing between them to land in the back seat and she only laughed harder. "Well, you can't blame them for trying," she shrugged.

"What are they trying?" he mildly asked, still sounding annoyed.

"I wish I knew," she responded with a shake of her head.

She noticed him turn to look at her again, silently seeming to scrutinize that. She didn't get the chance to ask what for before he turned back to the road. He looked thoughtful, and she didn't interrupt, figuring he would say it if he wanted to.

That was taking a little getting used to. Usually with friends all her life she would push for them to talk if she thought something was on their mind. But she knew better than to try that with Heero, it wasn't the way he operated. Annoying, and sometimes uncomfortable, yes. But she would figure it out.

Their lead car pulled ahead and around a bend in the road and Heero slowed them quickly, steering them to the side of the road. She snapped over to look at him as he stopped them and put the car into park. "Heero?" she questioned, worry bordering on fear.

It erased itself when she saw the tiny little smile in his eyes. "Would you like to drive?" he asked. He obviously didn't expect her to say no because he opened his door just a little, waiting for her answer.

Relena was shocked for a second before she found her voice. "Can I?" she asked, knowing that she couldn't under the Preventer regulations.

He gave her a smirk but didn't answer as he simply exited the car. All she could do was quickly undo her seatbelt and get out of her side too. She left the door open as she hopped up to give him a quick hug before practically skipping around to the driver's side.

Relena got in and fastened her seatbelt as she heard Heero call the others to say that they were delayed for just a minute before he got back in. She rested both hands on the wheel, staring straight ahead, and feeling oddly worried about this. "Are you sure?" she asked.

From the corner of her eye she saw him nod. "It might be your last chance for a while," he quietly stated.

She looked over at him, seeing what she could only describe as a happy spark to his usually stern eyes. She felt a genuine grin come to her face and she threw herself across the car to hug him again, getting her seatbelt to choke her. Setting herself back upright, she took the car out of park and correctly used her turn signal, even though there was no one around for miles.

* * *

"It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do." - Elbert Hubbard

"It is a beautiful trait in the lovers character, that they think no evil of the object loved." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

AN: Specially dedicated to Tanya, I do hope that your decision will work out as well!

Special thank you to Andraia! You have commented on something that I have been wondering about as well. We'll see together how that works out, huh? ;)


	14. Chapter 14

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 14

"I've never figured out how she can cross her ankles like that and be comfortable," Alli bit at her bottom lip as she tried imitating Relena's posture. "Then I have to keep my knees together."

"Need to do that anyway, petite," Ry chuckled, slouched low in his seat, his arms over the backs of her chair and the other one beside him, his feet kicked out in front of him.

"Only around you Noland," she bit back and then ignored him as she continued her scrutiny. "She always just looks so cute."

"Yeah, makes you want to pinch her cheeks, doesn't it?" Ry again mumbled. "How long is this taping?"

"They've only been on for fifteen minutes," Delano spoke up from Alli's other side. "It's an hour show."

"Oh," Ry groaned and slumped even lower in his chair. "This bites. Could someone at least ask her a different question? I could do the stinking interview for her by now."

"What do you want them to ask?" Alli sniffed. "They are targeting the major political differences."

"I don't care," he shook it off. "Right now I'd love it if they asked her what her birthday is. I'm just so freaking tired of hearing about the short-run difficulties in the L3 construction things."

Alli rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You idiot. It's L2, and it's the long-run colony construction companies that are going bankrupt. I've explained this fourteen times."

"So you can probably tell how much I'll care when you explain it for the fifteenth time," he laughed and then promptly sobered when she turned to glare at him. "You're taking lessons on that aren't you?" he accused.

Ry looked over his shoulder back to where Heero stood leaning against the wall next to the control-room's doorway, watching the interview on the monitors in front of them and listening to it from the stage beside their current location.

"Does that guy ever just sit down?" he mumbled back to Alli who curiously looked back at their leader as well. She shrugged back to him.

"At least he's paying attention," Delano stated.

"Del, the promotion papers are already in, you can stop sucking up now," he mumbled bitterly.

"You are so jealous," Alli shook her head between the two.

"I am not!" he specifically argued and then leaned forward to stick his tongue out at Delano. "I still don't see you doing anything better than the rest of us, though," he grumbled.

"That's probably why you'll stay at Officer forever," Delano snipped without turning away from the monitors.

"Yes, Sir, Lieutenant, Sir" he mock-saluted.

"Oh, would you two shut up," Alli held up her hands between them. "I'm not complaining about it. Del, you deserve it. And if Agent Yuy put you in for it, then you deserve it about twice as much as anyone else does."

"I don't have it yet and I'm not holding my breath," he responded.

"Whatever. So how are you going to celebrate? Taking the lucky Miss Dawna Willims out for a night on the town?" he chuckled.

Delano turned away from the monitors enough to give the younger man a withering glare. "Where do you get this stuff?"

"Alright, you've both been taking lessons," he relented.

"I'm going to take a lesson out of your hide if you don't shut it," Delano quietly threatened.

Alli and Ry both sat very still and very wide-eyed for a moment, staring at the uncharacteristic display of anger.

"OK," Ry finally agreed.

"Del… Wow," Alli blinked at him.

The man went back to watching the screens and the couple exchanged looks before they both burst out laughing.

"Touched a nerve," Alli sing-songed.

Delano just sighed and ignored them.

And Heero attempted to ignore all of them, but concentrating on the interview questions was about hopeless. Like Ry had said they were the same as usual. In the past month, since their official announcement of running for office again, and the subsequent unveiling of their political rivals, the battle lines were drawn but muddy.

Relena's position was actually the clearest of all. Their opponents were still playing catch up to them since they were only guessing at a number of projects that Relena and the Minister were the only ones to actually field. The topics were broad reaching, but basically all had the same philosophy.

The election was shaping up to be a landslide if things kept on the way they were. Most analysts were already predicting the spread of the win in their favor, and Relena's name itself was accounting for a percentage of the votes even without the interviews or debates.

However, it was far too early for anyone to be comfortable. Their appearances were just getting started and Relena had a full schedule. A very full schedule.

And these three were officially getting to be an irritation.

They were all he had to work with though and he did escape when he could. Allowing them to bicker between themselves, he kept them just close enough to be sure they were in proper positioning to protect her. He had chosen to finally go through with his idea of putting in Delano for a promotion in rank mainly so that he could shuffle the other two off under his care a little farther.

Besides, the group needed structure and he was well aware that he was not the best at leadership during problem situations. He was too individualized to expect the others to keep up. Delano was the correct choice.

Relena's image on the screens in front of them smiled as the host of the show made a comment of her own. Heero turned his mind back to the area, scanning the controller officers in the booth and then taking a long look outside of the door and into the camera area next to them.

These things were getting to be routine and he hated that feeling. Something always happened if you got sloppy and he had no intentions of that.

However, the fallout from her decision to run again had been substantially less than he had expected. The general public had boringly accepted the news as though there was no doubt, and no one had yet raised any complaints to it. Her age became a factor for the first couple weeks, but once it was specifically reveled that Relena would be of a legal, although unheard of, age once she took her own oath of office, even those complaints of special treatment bowed out.

He hated to admit it, but the whole thing was rather anti-climactic. Heero had the distinct impression that he had to be just missing it. There had to be an element somewhere with some stupid vendetta or other. There always was. He just couldn't find anything enough to worry him.

He didn't like it but he had no way to do anything about it.

"Now, Vice Minister, we have your running mate on next week with us. What can you tell us about working with Minister Wellington?"

Next week. Next week she'd be in L2 at a college lecture center, speaking on the economics of Earth-based—

Heero saw it the same time Alli popped up to her feet from her chair in front of him. He pivoted to look out the door at the live view instead of the camera feed. A panning shot of the studio audience had revealed a woman rising from the back of the sitting area and walking down the steps.

Looking out he easily found her as he moved out of the room and slid very quickly around the raised sections of the audience seating towards the aisle that the woman was approaching through. She wasn't moving fast, just quietly, one step at a time while the two women on the stage chatted.

He reached the end of the aisle and easily vaulted over the makeshift gate that closed the audience from the camera area during filming, his movements steady and unrushed. The host on set specifically cut in to state they were going to break, meaning to him that Alli had done her job.

The suspect woman in question stopped instantly when she saw him come over the gate towards her. They stared at each other just a second as he judged her surprised reaction to him. But she stood still, looking more than a little apprehensible.

Carefully determining her as less of a threat then he originally placed her at, he quietly continued up the stair-stepped row towards her, attempting to make sure the curious audience didn't panic. The woman finally gave a nervous smile and stood exactly where she was until he was face to face with her.

"Intensions?" he asked, although he figured he already had the answer by the time he was this close.

The nervous lady looked around a bit, but raised a camera that was in her right hand. "I'm sorry," she quietly apologized. "I was trying to get a clear shot."

Not the best way to phrase that with him.

"May I?" he asked, holding out a hand for the camera, and trying to remember to be 'nice' to Relena's voting public.

The woman blinked at him, and then hesitantly handed the thing over. Doing a very quick check on it he determined the digital camera wasn't hiding anything and handed it back.

"Please refrain from leaving your seat," he stated instead.

"Yes, Sir. Um… thank you," she mumbled, an embarrassed flush to her checks by now as a few of the surrounding audience members chuckled.

Heero turned down the aisle again and made his way back to the others who had arranged themselves between the audience and the camera area. Relena sat in her chair on stage still, carefully watchful of the scene. He calmly gave her a nod and she returned a smile back to their host, apologizing for the interruption. The other woman in question made a joke about 'to serve and protect' that Heero didn't get, and didn't care if he did.

He made it to the end of the audience row again and paused to do a quick check of everyone else in the room. Something inside of him just hating this feeling.

* * *

The host of the show had turned out to have a rather morbid curiosity once filming started in again. Aside from a few of the more generic questions they were used to, she strayed from her intended list to ask about the effects of the campaign on her… and her security. 

It was a widely known fact that the Vice Foreign Minister had a security force unmatched for anyone close to her governmental position. And Relena was never exactly comfortable talking about what and why that was. She did an excellent job of fielding the questions; regardless of the fact that Heero knew she was uncomfortable with it.

Very few others would notice that, especially across a television screen. But it grated on his nerves that the host had placed her on the spot because of them. Drawing attention to that fact would only make her more of a target, and he did not appreciate that.

The show had finished and the audience was filing out of the back studio doors. Relena was still seated on the stage, making her typical thank yous for the show having her, while a young stage-tech tried to get the microphone off of her lapel. And he wasn't doing a good job of it.

Relena finally gave the man a smile and helped him unpin it herself. The tech blushed about five shades of red and made a quick bow for the help before she chuckled and said something to make him smile before he left again.

One more vote for Wellington-Darlian.

Once on their feet the two women exchanged handshakes and pleasantries before Relena finally turned back to them with a smile that quietly read, 'please get me out of here.'

They were happy to oblige.

* * *

"I'll take him out, get him drunk, and slip him into Relena's house," Duo snapped his fingers in the background. 

"Oh, that would be wonderful to catch on his own security surveillance. 'Hey, guys, look. It's Agent Yuy stumbling into her bedroom.'"

"OK, OK. We wait until she's at her mother's house or somewhere, then we'll do it."

Dorothy laughed, "And your excuse for randomly showing up in town, while he's on duty, and convincing him to go out clubbing with you, is?"

"…Lonely?" he tried

"Grimmy, _loosen_ the braid."

* * *

"If nothing else, we'll save the tax-payers thousands of dollars worth of Preventer salaries." 

"That's really not fair."

"What's not fair?" the red-nosed man half-shouted at the host. "The woman is secured better than the President. You can't tell me that everyone's little princess needs more danged attention."

"She has been drugged and abducted _during_ a work-related meeting. It hardly seems frivolous to me to give her some security measures."

"The organization behind that has been gone for a year. Has anyone tried to take a shot at her since then?"

"Maybe that's because of the security," the host suggested.

"It's because no one cares anymore and she wants her bleeding-heart spot light back," he threw up a hand as the audience surrounding them either clapped or booed.

"You're honestly going to suggest that Miss Darlian is running for election because she wants the attention? Pardon me, but that's stupid. She's already held this position for two years. I think she knows what she's doing."

"The girl is a teenager! I have three daughters myself, and I can tell you that she's got her mind wrapped more around boys and her hair than she does around the financial infrastructure of a billion dollar Colony-Earth supply line," he huffed.

The host laughed at that as well as most of the rest of the audience.

"Now, I know that she's all cute and you just want to take her home to meet mom and all, but give me a break. The child can't possibly have the stamina or the drive to really delve into hard-core problems. She's held out this long on name alone and this mysterious, invisibly guise of all powerful Queen of the World. Who is going to take this mild-mannered little," he finger quoted, "_princess_ seriously in a real debate?"

"Now, I wouldn't agree with that sentiment—" the host attempted to break in.

"We've had to deal with her drug-out, pussy-footed attitude for long enough. We can all forgive Wellington for letting the child try her hand at it because she had a reputation that might have actually done some good after the war, but how are we supposed to believe in his senility anymore when he intentionally takes on a 'name' as his running mate?"

The audience divided itself into cheering or booing again, and Relena quietly took a sip of her tea on the sofa in front of the television. Alli sat beside her with a distasteful look on her face as though the soda she was drinking had turned sour. "I don't like this guy," she stated as the show went to commercial break.

"He's blowing his own arguments by getting angry," Relena easily waved it off.

"Well, his arguments suck," she off-handedly replied. "Even if I didn't know better, they'd still be laughable at best."

"There are a number of people who hold the same opinion of me," she shrugged, sipping at her tea again. "There's no sense in turning his anger-management problems into a debate."

"Yeah, but you know someone's going to pick this up and go with it," Alli reminded her. "Especially the part about us. It's public record as to how much is spent on your security measures."

"There's nothing I can do about that. It's also public record that I didn't ask for the precautions, and the Preventer forces, with a Presidential mandate, made the decision for me."

"So what's your answer to it?" Alli asked, pulling out a notebook she'd been scribbling in once in a while.

"Nothing," Relena blinked at her.

The older woman shook her head. "Need to be prepared," she sing-songed, pointedly looking at her.

Relena turned back to her tea to think a moment. "I suppose I should say that it's nothing more than I believe would be in place for any government official who has a kidnapping on their record."

"Weak," Alli cautioned even as she scribbled in the book.

She shrugged, "What else is there? It's life."

"You two are way too calm about this crap," Ry interjected from his place on the floor between the two women's feet. "I've got a couple buddies who wouldn't mind getting him in a dark alley."

"Ry, honestly, don't say things like that, even joking," Relena immediately admonished him with a soft kick in his side. "You have no idea what kind of a mess it could be if someone ever got even half of a comment like that on tape."

All four of her protectors turned to look oddly at her and she quickly glanced around at them.

"Miss Relena?" Alli raised an eyebrow.

She quietly shrugged again, a little sheepish looking. "I guess I've been listening to Dorothy's 'scandal advisories' a little too much."

"That woman is a scandal," Delano mumbled from his chair.

"Yeah! We'll send her after this guy," Ry happily stated. "He'll wish I'd beaten him instead."

"You guys!" Relena tried to admonish, but then paused. "Who am I kidding?" she relented and sipped at her tea again.

The three others cracked up laughing.

"It's a logical precaution," Heero put in from his place in the other chair on the opposite side of the sitting area. "Watching your words is never something to take lightly." He didn't look up from the laptop screen as he continued on with whatever he was working with this evening.

Ry silently mocked the words over again from his place on the floor and then rolled his eyes at it. Which only got him kicked, a little more forcefully, again from Relena, and Alli flicked him in the back of the head.

"Anyway," Alli continued, "you're on this same show in three weeks. Now most people are going to forget this jerk by then, but your opponent also has a spot a week before you, so the host is going to know what to ask."

"I understand," Relena easily nodded. "Has the running mate made any type of statement on his own yet?"

"The nephew?" she questioned. "Uh, not that I know of. Dawna didn't have any scripts yet on the guy. He's pretty much just coattails, I'm sure. You're going to walk all over him."

"I don't know, he makes me nervous," she wondered out loud.

The other four looked at her and then blinked between themselves. "Why?" Ry cautiously asked.

Relena came out of her own thoughts enough to look at him again. "You mean aside from the law degree and the three years of corporate experience he has at twenty-one?"

"And the fact that he's massively cute," Alli very quietly added. Ry turned enough to give her a dirty look, and she shrugged. "I'm just saying," she held up both hands.

Relena rolled her eyes and Delano and Heero turned back to their own activities.

* * *

"I don't like this guy," Richard Pearl shook his head at the television screen in his uncle's den, the fireplace casting irregular light around the oak-encrusted room. 

"Who cares? He's doing us a favor," Melton Pearl shuffled through the paperwork on his desk.

"He's making an idiot out of himself," he refuted.

"That's why we like him," the older man chuckled at his own bad joke.

Rich gave the man's back a sardonic smile and turned back to give the red-nosed 'political analyst' his attention again. "Who's paying this guy?"

"Better not be me," the other sniffed. "I hate bad acting. Just like the damned plays your aunt keeps dragging me to." Coming up with a file folder the chucky man waddled around the desk, his jacket off and suspenders showing over the stripped dress shirt. Pointing the folder at the younger man, easily four inches taller than him, he specifically looked him in the eye. "Don't ever marry a woman who writes you poetry."

Rich chuckled at the idea of his prim, proper, overly-baring and extremely opinionated aunt writing love poems while the two courted. "I'll try to remember that."

"Don't let this girl throw you either," the man waddled on towards the bookcase. "These morons can call her a ditzy-blond, but she's got something under there. When and how she's going to prove that is the problem."

He shook his head again. "I don't get it. If you and Wellington were 'old golfing buds,' why did you talk me into running against them?"

"Some damned fool idiot's got to," he replied.

"What have I told you about your language, Uncle?" he chided.

"Boy, don't you start with me," he turned to wave a finger at the younger man.

* * *

It was getting to be a routine for the group. The others would turn in after a while, and leave the two alone together. Whether they did it intentionally, he wasn't sure, but the comments about the two of them had tapered off significantly over the past month or so. 

Heero couldn't say he minded either development.

It gave them a chance to go through the next day's schedule and for him to specifically state the precautions she would need to keep in mind during her travels and tasks. It was to the point where she understood the routes and had their security formations as well memorized as the others did.

It also had a distinct advantage between the two of them. With the added pressures and developments of campaigning, Relena seemed to sporadically need to sound out a couple things, and he attempted to be reassuring.

It seemed to be working, he guessed.

But sometimes he managed to take a number of good guesses at what was going through her. He was honestly becoming very good at determining how things affected her, emotionally and not simply outwardly.

Heero raised his eyes over the laptop screen to watch her stand up and specifically turn off the television once Alli and Ry both left to turn in for the night. "You shouldn't try to hide so much from them," he cautioned, knowing that the interview had shaken her more than she let on to everyone else.

"I don't want them to worry. They have enough concerns to focus on," she stated, staring down at the dark screen in front of her.

He watched her back expectantly as he closed the laptop and set it aside. "What really worries you about Pearl?"

Relena had brought up a couple good points about the man's experience and professionalism. Something that she technically lacked, if only on paper. But she wasn't one to put so much faith in the history or identity of a person. He had watched her completely ignore any and all preconceived notions when faced with the person in question. He knew she didn't take things to heart until she made up her own mind.

She turned to look back at him, surprised obviously. "How do you do that?" she asked.

He only gave her a patient look and waited for her to stop stalling.

Relena sighed and turned away again, a little smile coming up anyway. She would forever wonder how he ended up knowing her so well. Part of the reason she loved him, she assumed. Turning her mind back to the question she could only shrug. "I'm not sure. I guess because I don't know what to expect yet. He's made no real statements of his own, and I don't know what type of an opponent he's going to be."

"You'll have information on him well before you have a debate against him," he easily brushed it off.

She nodded to herself, "I know. I just feel like I'm unprepared," she confided. Turning back she slipped across the room and took a light seat on the arm of his chair. "I'm just being antsy," she smiled.

The little raise to his eyebrow turned it into a chuckle before she settled back beside him as much as she could. It was too nice to have him here. All to herself, so to speak. She'd begun to get used to it over time, but it still left like they were stealing moments like this from the rest of the world.

They probably were actually. No one exactly understood the comfortable relationship they had fallen into. Although it was not the most 'romantic' by anyone's imagination, it was… them. There was no other way to describe that.

One of his hands settled over the top of hers which were folded together in her lap and she turned to look down at him. "There's no need to dwell on these types of critiques."

She understood that he meant the analyst tonight, and she was thankful for the soft rebuttal to the man's rather harsh words. She nodded to him, finding a hint of concern in those dark eyes. Relena knew he worried over her in more than one way, and it had nothing to do with his position.

It was heartwarming and she softened out to a smile again. "I know," she answered. "But it is best that I'm prepared for what others will throw against me. It'll take the sting out this way."

He didn't buy it; she could see it as he scrutinized her. "They're wrong."

She felt her chest tighten at the words, knowing that his faith in her was probably stronger than her own. "Thanks," she whispered instead.

He nodded and turned back to the laptop that he picked up again, finally releasing her hands. She immediately missed the warmth of him but backed the feeling down. Bringing up the layout of the conference building she was going to be in tomorrow he highlighted her emergency information as usual.

And as usual, she only half paid attention. She understood the importance of his words and what he was telling her, but her safety was never the only thing on her mind when they were this close together. She would fight to remember what she needed, but it was difficult to concentrate.

These precious moments were all she had much of anymore. The others had sort of gotten the hint and had allowed them some small alone time, mostly she assumed because of her confession to Alli weeks back. It hadn't necessarily been something she had meant to do, but when pressed by the woman, she again found herself unable to lie about her feelings.

It was dangerous. The group could easily throw both of them into a world of trouble, but at the same time, they seemed more than understanding of the situation. Which she found odd, but they were all older then they were.

She'd eventually grown a little more comfortable with her confession, and it had served to help them. No matter what the others thought of them, Heero was her strength, and she desperately needed him.

The exception Relena was discovering now though, was that Heero was also her weakness.

It was impossible to lie to him, even about her feelings on the campaign. He knew sometimes before she did. She also couldn't stand the thought of not being able to confide in him about this or that, whatever got her nerves bunched together. She was very used to a number of things in political life, but there were still fears that nagged at her sometimes.

He had a very unique way of placing things in perspective.

And then there was their own relationship. Some days she would honestly wonder what the heck she thought she was doing. There were times when she would look at the man and wonder what she'd gotten herself into. His overly-competent attitude got to her now and again, especially when it grated against the other three.

But at the same time, she had to accept him the way he was. Changing someone wasn't an option, and she knew it. She did hope that some things would rub off on him though. And he was learning to relax a little, she would give him that.

Her eyes drifted from the computer screen to his face as she just watched him talk, just watched his lips move. Her thoughts turned significantly drowsier as she felt more than thought of how handsome he was, how attractive. It was a thought that was usually reserved for darker parts of the night when she couldn't sleep.

Blinking it back, she turned back to the screen and focused. At least as much as she ever did. She followed the talk, picked out her escape route and her safe spot, and noted what tactics would be taken in case of an assault. She understood.

She just didn't care.

Sometimes, she would wonder if he ever thought about things like she did. If he ever thought she was… attractive. Relena could recognize it as a worthless and rather immature mussing, but she couldn't help it.

She felt comfortable with him, knew what to expect from his reactions, and that allowed her to feel safe with him. Not physically safe—well that too, but emotionally safe. She had no fears that she would loose him… other than by violence, which was still something planted in both her conscious and unconscious mind.

He would never abandon her, and she knew it. She felt it.

But the other side to that was that she knew exactly where she stood with him. And where she was continually standing with him. And where it seemed like she would always be standing with him.

Over and over she had confirmed, and believed in, her own assumption that Heero only needed time to begin to understand his own feelings. And she still believed that. She had promised never to attempt to rush or influence him during the struggle. He wasn't one to appreciate that.

But she hadn't realized that a steadily growing part of her wouldn't be willing to contentedly wait. And that this newfound part of her would… make her question whether or not the feelings that he came to would actually match her own.

It was also something that she didn't usually give her thoughts over to at any other time than the cover of a dark night; usually because that was the reason she couldn't sleep.

A voice in her head whispered a cynical question now and again that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't capable of loving her.

'Capable' was a word that she hated in that context. Of course he was 'capable.' Love wasn't something that was taught or created, as much as some organizations and greeting card companies took credit for it. Love was something intrinsically twisted into their genetics. Love was only a heightened extension of fondness or regard. It stemmed from the human desire for pleasure and avoidance of pain. The moderation of it was what drew the line between the two.

She needed to stop snooping in Heero's philosophy coursework.

But if she left 'capable' out of the mix, then she came to the harder and more problematic question of 'want.' Did he want to love her? Was he actually trying? That just sounded wrong all the way around too. She would be nothing but a hypocrite if she needed him to try to love her back.

But what if he just… never felt the same? She would hopelessly admit that she didn't think she was really worth his heart, although she tried. What could she do if this was to be the closest they ever got?

Relena didn't believe it. Deep down, she just didn't.

It was just hard to wait. She had too much time to second guess herself and her decision to confront him with her feelings. But there were too many moments when he let his guards slip and she knew, truly knew, that she had a place in his heart.

She hung on to that. And she dreamed.

And sometimes, she would sit right here by his side and do nothing but think of how absolutely gorgeous he was and mentally giggle at herself.

With that she turned her attention back to him and quietly snuck a glance down at his face—

Only to discover that he was staring at her, looking somewhere between worried and confused. She noticed far too late that she had completely spaced out on him and that he'd noticed it who knew how long ago.

"Uh… sorry," she tried, completely beside herself at being caught.

"Relena?" He was obviously concerned, and she could have shrunk and crawled under the coffee table for making him worry.

"Just a little lost in thought," she tried to explain, knowing that it wasn't going to do a bit of good considering that she knew she was blushing like an idiot. She tried not to cringe as the laptop got moved away again and she knew he was going to want an explanation.

"What's wrong?"

As much as she usually loved it when he asked something like that, knowing he was concerned for more than her physical health, she hated it now, knowing she didn't have a clue how to answer him. "It's really nothing, just a lot of things to think about. I'm sorry," she repeated, hoping he'd get the hint that she didn't want to talk about it. "I didn't mean to ignore you."

'I just can't get my mind off of you,' she mentally added and kicked herself.

He continued to stare at her, obviously at a loss for how to respond to that.

"I think I got the exits and the formation though," she went on, hoping that focusing him back on work would snap him out of it.

He didn't like it, she could see it written on his face, but he finally nodded. "Good," he answered. Collecting the computer, he stood from his place and looked back down at her. "Get some sleep," he commanded in typical fashion.

Good, maybe he just thought she was tired. "I will," she nodded solemnly, having a hard time meeting his eyes.

He gave her another scrutinizing look, "Hn."

She thought that would be the end of it and gave herself a silent sigh of relief, but instead he stepped in towards her and brushed a hand against her cheek. Relena melted at the touch, feeling foolish for doubting him again.

Leaning forward he very gently tilted her head up to him and he pressed a light kiss to her lips. It wasn't long, but he lingered with her and she savored the touch, knowing it was her assurance. Whether he knew what he was assuring or not.

* * *

"It'd just be a flesh wound," she defended.

"Cat, I am not shooting her!"

"…Tranquillizer dart?"

"No!"

* * *

"I never thought it was worth it, you know waiting for your love, and then I felt your kiss, I could wait forever for this." – Unknown


	15. Chapter 15

AN: This is something that I have probably never really said, but I do want to take the time to mention. I have no problem at all receiving constructive criticism or 'flames.' Not everyone likes the same thing, and I understand that perfectly. If anyone reading really doesn't care for the story, or even just parts of it, please do let me know and don't be afraid to sign your review or leave an address. I want the opportunity to know what you think, and to improve where I can, and I can't do that if no one challenges me with something they don't like.

That said, Be Minor Prince, if you ever stumble into this story again, I would like the chance to talk with you just a little, and I thank you for your honesty! I have no intentions of changing your mind, but there may be a number of things that, as the author, I can't see or don't question myself with.

Thank you to all of my reviewers! Good or bad, your opinions matter to me very much. :)

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 15

"Ah, man, this is too easy," he whispered to himself as he slipped through the second story backstage window, closing it after him just like it was. He was careful to mark the dust collected on the floor and hopped easily in a scattered pattern to avoid footprints. Reaching the curtain division he took an almost bored look around the area below, seeing nothing but the crowd of collage students from this position, before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking silently down the rigging tracks.

The stairway would have almost got him though if he hadn't been expecting something of the like. The first of the pieced together metal stairs had a motion sensor clipped under it, spraying in probably a five-foot radius. That would be a little more fun at least.

Planting his hands on his hips he took a long look around at his options. It was probably a twenty-five foot drop to the stage floor below and there was no way he was going to do that without alerting someone down there, or breaking a leg. Well, no reason to do it the hard way if you didn't have to.

Plopping down cross-legged on the floor just above the step, and still out of range of the sensor, he took a quiet look at the thing. Only to figure out that there was no way he was going to disarm it from this position. It was actually kind of a cute design; he'd have to remember that.

Puffing out a sigh, he looked around again before hitting onto an idea. A curtain-pull cable hung about twenty feet out from the stairway. The curtains themselves waved enough due to normal air movement; no one would make the sensors reach that far, they would be going off constantly. Following the line down he found his opening and popped back to his feet.

Rubbing his hands together he smirked at the cable and then effortlessly swung over the guardrail of the work area. Reaching out he grabbed hold of the cable and pulled himself over, expertly wrapping his feet around it to keep him from sliding along the metal cable that could easily rip his bare hands to shreds.

Hand over hand he lowered himself seven or eight feet until he reached the lighting catwalk that he'd spotted. With a careful swing he landed on the feeble metal grating without a sound. Giving a sniff of satisfaction he tossed his long chestnut braid back over his shoulder and strode easily down the path and back towards the stairs that had a convenient landing to get on and off of the catwalk.

He lackadaisically turned onto the stairs and descended again until he was just five or six feet over the stage floor. Waiting to ensure the coast was clear enough he swung under the makeshift pipe handrail of the stairs and dropped to the floor, backpedaling immediately into the folds of the curtains, his black pants and shirt helping to hide him.

Satisfied that no one noticed him, he slipped out the back exit and rounded out into the side hallway of the auditorium. Keeping himself looking natural he quietly took the stairs again up to the second floor box seats. None of the random people who filtered past even noticed him or gave him a second look and he shook his head once he reached the darkened, second floor proper.

"Slipping," he whispered to himself as he stealthily moved down the hall, cautious of each box's opening. The taller Preventer officer guy was on the stage behind the curtains, he'd spotted him on his way down, so he was out of the picture. Spying across the room from one of the doorways, he caught sight of the girl in one of the seating area's halls, scouting the crowd.

"Two down, two to go," he whispered.

Moving again, he crept halfway around the dark and unused floor, mentally making a note that Relena's speeches could use a couple punch lines here and there.

He stopped when he caught sight of just the hem of a charcoal-gray jacket leaned against the doorframe behind the purple curtain that draped the opening. A very specific hem of a charcoal-gray jacket. Creeping close to hug the near wall, he didn't make a sound as he snuck up on the position, the cocky grin coming easily to him.

Stepping out at the last second he turned to confront the man who he had easily snuck up on—only to discover nothing but a jacket hanging on a hook on the doorframe.

The soft click of the safety being removed from a handgun was heard from somewhere around the back of his neck, and his smile dropped from triumphant to nervous.

"What are you doing here?" came the deathly quiet question.

Duo Maxwell spun around, ignoring the fact that that was not the most intelligent thing to do. But hey, he'd already been identified, his buddy wouldn't shoot. Heero glared at him over the end of his sidearm, not firing, but not dropping the gun away from his nose either. "Hey, bud, long time no see," he smiled.

Somewhere in the shadowy upstairs there was a second of total silence between them. Relena's voice in the background went on uninterrupted, "…partnerships are sometimes formed at inopportune times due to circumstances, but they can be just as strong, or more so, than negotiated treaties."

"The little lady knows what she's talking about down there, huh?" he asked, getting bored with the other man's tries at intimidating him.

The only answer was a slow lowering of the gun and the reengaging of the safety.

"So…" Duo mumbled taking a look around them. "Prowled any dark rooms somewhere interesting lately?"

"I'll ask again: Why are you here?"

He sighed in hopeless abandon. "Some day you're going to actually give me a warm greeting and I'm going to fall over with a heart attack," he grumbled. "I was in the area, so I figured I'd look you up," he explained. "By the way, nice trick with the backstage stairs."

Heero didn't seem all that interested in the compliment and turned away from him in annoyance. Holstering his gun at his side he moved back to the opening and did a quick check of the area below. "It obviously wasn't enough."

"Yeah, well, you can't idiot proof every place she goes," he shrugged. It wasn't until Heero turned to look back at him that he realized that that didn't come out the way he meant it to. "You know what I mean."

It could have been a trick of the lighting but he could have sworn that there was a smirk to his friend's face when he turned back to watching the crowd below.

Just in case it was there, Duo narrowed his eyes and stuck his tongue out at the back of his head before coming up and peeking down at the stage over his shoulder, careful not to be seen by anyone watching. "So, how's the princess? She's been busy these days," he started.

"Normal," Heero replied.

Duo rolled his eyes at the stoic's excuse for a response. Well, at least he was semi-talking. It must be a good day. "Anything out of the ordinary? Problems? Bad guys? Lame excuses for boyfriends?"

"No," was the only reply.

Duo's eyebrow twitched. "Got her a Christmas present yet?"

Heero slowly turned to look back at him, as annoyed looking as the man ever actually got.

"No?" he guessed. "Well, you've got a few weeks," he waved it off. "What do you get the Queen anyway? Although, since the whole 'saving the world' thing doesn't pay all that well, you should really go into the jewelry design business. Have you seen the 'Relena pendent' ads yet?"

The man in front of him blinked and went from annoyed to confused.

"I'm serious! Walk into any jewelry store and they've got knock-off copies of your pendent. Well," he shrugged, "not exactly like hers of course." Slipping in even closer he gave his partner a covert look, "Between you and me, she doesn't know what she's actually wearing, does she?" That close, it was even more apparently when Heero's dark eyes narrowed at him. Snapping back he threw up both hands in mock surrender.

"No," the other finally answered, although the man obviously wasn't in the mood for more information on this matter, and it was a clear signal to shut up.

A signal that Duo completely ignored. "Why not?" he asked. "It was a great idea. You can actually be inventive when you have to be," he winked. "It's cute. I didn't think you had it in you. Of course it didn't take much for me to figure it out," he verbally patted himself on the back.

Heero was not amused, and apparently didn't have anything to say to the comment as he turned away to the view again.

Duo sighed and slumped his shoulders behind him. "It's so hard to hold up a friendly conversation all on your own."

Heero actually had the nerve to humph at him as he continued on with his watch.

"Why do I bother?" he grumbled. Moving across the doorway he laced his fingers behind his head and leaned back against the wall. "Fine, I'll just wait for your better half instead."

Duo didn't get an acknowledgement to that either and he stood quiet for a few minutes listening to Relena drone on about Earth-Colony partnerships in the commodity market.

Which lasted all of three or four minutes before he went stir-crazy and moved back to Heero's shoulder. "No offence, but your girl can put me to sleep with the best of them."

Especially with the jacket still off he could see the man's shoulders slump just a little before he turned back to him again. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "I'm just bored."

Heero seemed to resign himself down to a weary look, "Hn."

Well, that was a good sign, Duo figured. Actually, anything that didn't involve him pulling his gun again was a good thing, so that would make this a really good thing. 'I knew I'd eventually rub off on him,' he mentally gave himself a happy little pep talk. "So, how's the election? She looks good in the polls."

"So far," he nodded and went back to watching.

Duo slipped next to him into the room and dropped himself down to sit cross legged on the floor, well below anywhere that someone could see him, and put his back against the doorframe. "I doubt those guys are even trying. I mean, who really thinks they've got a shot?"

"All they need are doubts about her and the Minister."

"Well, he's a snoozer, is that a doubt?" Duo asked, thinking about the one time he tried to follow one of the man's broadcasts. "Doesn't mean I ain't voting for him though."

"His experience is well known. Relena is the one taking most of the rebuttals."

"Oh, they just don't know our girl," he waved it off. "I've heard that 'mild-mannered, shy' crap too. She's nothing like that. Hell," he snorted and looked up at his friend, "if she got you, she can do anything."

Heero specifically gave him a dark glare for the comment but didn't say anything to Duo's grin.

Going on he waved a hand, "Besides, Mars is going to explode one of these days, and we're going to need her, bad. How come no one is bringing that up?"

The other backed down his glare again, turning almost thoughtful as he looked back out at the stage and surrounding crowd. "Very few people would be expecting it."

"You mean people not wearing brown and gray, right?" Duo raised an eyebrow. "I suppose."

"It's kept under tight watch," Heero assured.

"Yip. How are the newlyweds, anyway?" he asked, closing his eyes as Relena's voice worked into a pleasant hum in the back of his head.

"I haven't heard any problems."

"Come on, bud. Got to show a little more enthusiasm for the family. Make her feel like you're interested. Whether you want to ring his neck or not, Zechs is going to end up walking her down the aisle," he gave a little sing-song and chuckled at his own image.

Duo was sure he could feel the cold coming off of Heero's stare again, but he didn't open his eyes to notice.

"Besides, this time of year, people get all misty-eyed and nostalgic for 'loved ones' and whatever. Can't say I get it, but hey, to each his own," he rambled. "What's the plan for the Memorial party this year?"

Christmas was now synonymous with an Earth Sphere National holiday to boot. The proclaimed day of Christmas Eve as Unification Day was nice for the banks and government offices anyway. The whole thing made him a little antsy as this year drew steadily to a close and nothing had yet met his ears of some whacked out group wanting to take over humanity again.

It was quiet. Not too quiet. Not the kind that made him worry. Just quiet. Peaceful.

It was annoying.

"The President is having a tree lighting ceremony. Same as last year I guess. He wants to try to start a tradition for some reason," Heero answered.

"Well, that's good. Nice to see the higher ups spending my taxes on booze and cheese rolls," he smiled at his own joke. "Relena going?"

"Undecided."

Duo peeked an eye open to look at him. "Why?"

The other man didn't move away from his scrutiny of the place. "Her schedule is still sporadic."

Duo closed his eye again. "There's always someone caught still working on Christmas." Tipping his head back farther he moved his hands up to make a pillow for himself. "And as long as it ain't me, we'll be good."

* * *

Relena made her exit and shook the college dean's hand as she left, turning back to find her group in their designated spot… with an addition.

"I don't have a clue what you said, but you sure looked good saying it," Duo gave her a grin as she blinked back her surprise.

"Duo! What are you doing here?" She didn't get any farther than that before he squeezed her for a second in a hug.

"Well, I was in the area," he shrugged.

She gave him a smile again, but in the pit of her stomach his sudden appearance made her worry. "I talked to Hilde last night, she didn't say anything," she gave him a suspicious look.

"She knows I'm a spur of the moment type'a guy."

* * *

Relena took a bouncing seat on the bed, shaking it enough to thoroughly get Heero's attention. Deleno and Ry had turned in already, and Alli had confiscated the bathroom of their double room before he gave her their quick instructions for tomorrow so he could leave as well. But she had no intensions of passing up her only minutes of alone time with him today without getting some information.

He turned to look at her as she leaned towards him, her knees under her, and her hands supporting her towards him. "What's going on?" she asked point-blank.

Heero blinked, giving her that befuddled look that she normally adored seeing.

But this was not one of those times. "Even I've noticed that the whole Preventer organization has been on pins and needles and it's only getting worse. Did Duo find something?"

He gave up his confused look, easily dropping back into that softer expression he usually held with her these days. "No."

No? Really? She physically deflated a little. "Would you tell me if he did?" she asked, knowing that there were a number of things that Heero did not usually see fit to 'worry' her about. She was used to it by now. Commander Une did the same thing. Need to know policies did not include random politicians with no militaristic training unless she was directly involved.

And even then sometimes they didn't think to inform her.

He was obviously not expecting her to grill him for answers but solemnly nodded anyway. "He was poking to see if we'd come up with anything."

She gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"Everyone is waiting for something to break again this year. Nothing has been picked up yet," he answered. "It… makes us nervous," he answered a bit more honestly than she would have expected.

"Oh." Well, she felt dumb. "I guess maybe that's rubbed off on me too then," she tried to smile.

"Best to be cautious."

He could always turn these things and brush them away. She appreciated that, she really did. There were enough people who clung to her words and wouldn't let things drop, especially with the media pressures lately. It was nice to have someone who didn't measure her words like they felt she was trying to cheat them.

Crawling over a little closer she slipped from her knees to sit at his side, leaning an arm behind him to keep herself upright, and placing her chin on his shoulder as she looked down at the screen on his lap.

Heero looked at her out of the corner of his eye, possibly not entirely sure about her cuddled position. Tonight she didn't care. Usually she would have her reservations about actions like this, but she'd been worried through most of the day, and she didn't dare bring it up in front of the others in case it was something that they shouldn't be made aware of.

"Are you nervous that something's coming?" she quietly asked, raising her free hand to place it against this bicep as she snuggled against his side.

"No. Nothing full scale at least. We would have picked up something by now."

"Terrorist threats?" she asked instead.

"There will be some."

She sighed quietly to herself wishing for nothing more than a drowsy, peaceful Christmas. One just like the ones she always took for granted. "And the President's party is going to be the main focus, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And here I was just worried about my dress," she sarcastically tried to joke.

He apparently didn't buy it either, but he didn't try to refute her. Instead he tipped his head just enough to lean against hers, and she moved a little to accommodate him. Closing her eyes, she wished everyone would feel this type of peace during Christmas, if only during Christmas.

Relena could understand the heightened sense of worry that ran through the Preventer forces. She could even understand it in Heero and Duo, and probably the others too. She was sure that a good portion of the public was holding its breath to see what would happen too. It was sad that the beautiful and miraculous had to be shadowed with fear and uncertainty.

It only served to remind her how young their nation really was. Old ideals and leftover beliefs were fine, but they didn't know how to deal with these types of evils. They needed the young eyes of this generation to watch everything with a kind of calm scrutiny.

It wasn't a bad thing, but she wondered how many generations would have to worry like this. They were only the start of their own age of watchers.

Mindlessly she rubbed her hand against his jacket, just enjoying the feeling while it was here. He shifted his head away again, and she realized that any longer and Alli would probably find her asleep on his shoulder. "What happens tomorrow?" she asked before he had to try to come up with a way to draw her attention back.

But she didn't move from her position.

* * *

"Dorothy, my favorite information broker… I need help," Relena quietly confessed to the vid-screen.

The woman on the other end of the line lounged back in her seat and propped her chin up with a hand on the desk. "Oh, Miss Relena, I would be happy to oblige as always," she stated in her typical little purr.

"What do you know about the Pearls?" she asked, slumping forward and propping her own chin up with both hands together.

"Well, they are pretty little round things that get spit out of oysters and are typically considered moderately priced jewelry items, although personal I've never been fond of the things," she teased. "Much more of rare gem girl myself."

"Wrong pearls, Dorothy." Relena gave a pitiable sigh and dropped her head to rub at her temples a minute before looking back up at her friend's image.

"Oh! You mean those two doing a pathetic job of running against you?" she smirked. "I haven't been all that interested in them, but they've checked through as… un-malicious."

Relena blinked and stared at the other woman a second. "Un-malicious?"

Dorothy's only response was to raise her smirk even farther.

"Dorothy, have you been snooping in things you're not supposed to again?" she asked as though she was talking to a child caught in the cookie jar.

"Of course I have," she readily admitted. "That's the reason you called me, isn't it?"

Well, she had a point. Shaking her head Relena sighed. "One of these days the Preventers are going to knock on your door and find out where you've gotten all of this stuff," she warned.

"Well then, I suppose I'll have to keep the headquarters' number on speed dial," she refuted. "You could have asked the same question to your beloved security commander and gotten the same response, by the way."

She blinked, "You've hacked Preventer headquarters?"

Dorothy's smirk gave way to a quiet laugh. "Miss Relena, really, what sort of person do you suppose I am?" Looking back, the gray eyes narrowed. "There is nothing wrong with using my security clearance in a way that looks after my friends, now is there?"

Relena sighed, remembering that the other woman was right. She'd forgotten that Dorothy had, what had become termed, a 'Civilian Agent's badge.' It was basically a wonderful excuse to keep their little group sharing their leads and information. Quatre, Duo, Trowa and a few others that Commander Une had personally picked up here and there all technically had a Preventer identity… even if those records were restricted and classified so deep that most people looking for them wouldn't even be able to find it.

"Of course, my other sources have all confirmed as well," Dorothy seemed to take great pleasure in adding.

Relena scrutinized her a moment, "In other words, I don't want to know about the 'other sources' do I?"

"Probably not," she mused.

"Well…" Relena tried to pull her thoughts back. "What else _can_ you tell me?"

"The senior is a fun little character. Bold, brazen and direct nearly to a fault. In individual confrontation he will probably interrupt you more about his latest fishing trip than about politics. Aside from a poor fashion sense and, rumored, poorer table manners, he has quite the business appetite. Entrepreneurial is a weak word for this man. He began his company at the age of seventeen, directly out of school, and has held no interest in higher learning since."

"So, we both have the education," Relena rolled her eyes at the correlation.

Dorothy gave her a smile and continued. "His direct approach has won him a number of things, from partnerships to high ranking friends. His negotiation skills are… unique," she raised an eyebrow.

"Mouthy and almost counter-productive," Relena nodded. "Sounds like your type of guy," she teased.

The paler blond crinkled her nose at the remark, "I don't think so."

Relena only laughed at her. "Alright, what about his nephew?"

"Rich Pearl?" Dorothy laughed and then settled down into a mischievous little smirk. "He's cute, rich and a lawyer. What else do I need to know?"

"Dorothy!" she chided. "And it's Richard Pearl," she corrected.

"Not to most around him actually," Dorothy defended. "Your choice of opponents is suppose to be the anti-Pearl, so to speak. Attractive, well educated, articulate, immaculately preserved from all blemishes with the law, which by the way, his uncle no longer holds a valid driver's license for a few _minor_ speed violations."

"Another thing Mr. Pearl and I share," she mumbled.

Dorothy blinked, "You don't have a traffic ticket."

"I don't have a license," she corrected.

The other looked confused. "You don't?"

Shaking her head, she dismissed it. "So 'Rich' is the second generation heir, in other words?"

"Yes. Charismatic and, as we all would assume, charming," Dorothy sighed and gave her a dreamy bat of her eyelashes.

Relena raised an eyebrow. "Hey, remember who you're voting for," she chided. "Besides, you already have a rich corporate heir, stop drooling over my rival."

Dorothy gave her a bitter look for it. "I do not," she refuted before quickly tossing a glance off to something Relena couldn't see. "And be quiet or he'll hear you."

Bursting out laughing she couldn't help herself as she lowered her head to lay against the desk in front of her. She needed to remember to tease those two more.

"Anyway," Dorothy very specifically moved the conversation on. "Richard is said to be more mild-mannered than his uncle, but he shares the Pearls' view on honest, upfront, confrontation. I know it's a while until your debate, but I warn you that the man will not pull his punches because you're a lady."

Relena nodded against the desk and then decided that Dorothy probably deserved more than the top of her head. "I can handle myself," she reasoned.

"Their largest argument with you is that you… speak like a girl, basically," Dorothy teased. "If you show them your usual determined character, and lack of flowery words and images, they will fail on their own."

"I hope so," she nodded to herself.

"The trouble is going to be from the younger voters," she continued to muse.

"Why?" she asked.

Dorothy turned back, "You're both far too cute for anyone to actually listen to what you're saying." Giving her an evil little smile, she knitted her hands together and rested her chin on them. "Wear more skirts, Relena."

"Lady Catalonia," she admonished as best she could.

The other shrugged. "Abraham Lincoln got a letter from a little girl telling him to grow a beard to win his election. My advice to you is to show some leg."

Relena only laughed again.

"Not too much though," Dorothy warned, as if she needed it. "Little old ladies don't like that sort of thing. And heaven knows there are more of them then little old men, who would have the opposite reaction to that, I'm sure."

Once again she laid her head down on the desk and shook it back and forth.

* * *

So, of course, she took the advice.

Over the next few weeks she ordered four or five new skirts, all three-quarter length or longer, and a couple of skirt-suits. If her opposition wanted to draw attention to the fact that she was a woman, she would beat them to it. At least that was the plan.

And she discovered that she liked it. With her political career Relena had thrown off most of her skirts, except for the more casual ones that she would wear into the office. For public and media relations she had always stuck to pants and suits.

Off to another television interview, Relena sat in the back of the car between Heero and Alli, a pale teal skirt-suit on with a pair of winter-white flats. The jacket was a normal double breast with a high collared blouse and bow at the neck. The skirt however was nicely fitted down to just below her knees were the slit on her right side started, ensuring she could walk.

Half of her was debating on leaving her hair down a little more often as well, but she hadn't gotten that adventurous yet.

The side effect of all of this was what had her fighting giggles. Heero had been early, as always, this morning at her house to meet up with the group and escort her to the television station. She had entered the front foyer and gave him a typical good morning.

It was paused though when she saw that he'd noticed her skirt… with a frown.

Alright, the little crinkle in this brow that Agent Yuy passed for a frown. Whatever.

Anyway, she looked down at herself and ensured that nothing was embarrassingly out of place in front of him and once again looked up at him for an explanation. It had taken a couple minutes to get it out of him though, but he'd finally relented and mumbled, "Can you run in that?"

To say that she died laughing was an understatement.

* * *

"I got a whole hell of a lot of nothing is what I got," Duo grumbled. "I even pulled out the 'magical Christmas romance' crap."

"They both seem otherwise focused," she replied thoughtfully.

"Yeah, they ain't the only ones either."

Dorothy hummed over the line. "Understandable."

"Where are you going to be for Christmas, Cat?"

"Right here. I'm just far enough outside of the capital to be of use should any creatures start stirring."

"That leaves you and the jackets on Earth. Me and the other two are staying on colony. And I plan on doing nothing but unwrapping presents and drinking lots of eggnog."

"Spoken like a true war hero," she sarcastically teased.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep your family around the turkey this year, will ya?"

"Oh, are you coming over?"

He blew a raspberry into the phone at her before hanging up.

* * *

"A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;  
It makes no noise at all,  
But softly gives itself away." - Eva Logue

AN: Not a lot this time, but I am hoping to give all of you your Christmas present from me next week. :)


	16. Chapter 16

------------------------------------  
To: My readers, with love  
From: Isis  
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"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 16

The whole place looked like an ice-skating rink. There were trees all the way around the main ballroom, not to mention the two-story tower of green spikes that someone spent way too much time and energy on finding and decorating, that stood towards the front of the room. It was the only thing not twinkling 'merrily' in the obnoxiously decorated space.

Of all the potential target spots, he was stuck here.

"Wufei, you're scaring off the guests with that scowl," Sally had the nerve to elbow him in the side as she leaned against the wall beside him where he'd taken up refuge—post to scan over the crowd.

"Good," he grunted back.

She made some sort of strangled sounding sigh and shook her head. "You're such a grinch," she muttered.

"What?" he specifically asked.

"Nothing," she relented, turning away to pretend to scan the crowd.

Wufei turned back to his watch as well, satisfied that he'd cut off her indignant comment.

"Where's Heero?" she asked quietly.

"Second floor, left side," he answered, knowing the placement and the position that the man had, apparently wisely, put in for. He wouldn't be bothered up there by the annoyingly giggling groups of people wondering around this place.

Not to mention that if one more woman asked him where the restrooms were he was going to—

"I'm going to say hi to Relena and do a quick walk around the hallway guards," Sally put into his thoughts.

"We're not here to socialize," he reminded her.

Sally moved away from the wall in front of him before turning back over her shoulder with a smile. "We're not here to be a kill-joy either," she winked at him before sauntering off through the crowd, her uniform jacket and skirt looking extremely out of place in the swirl of gowns and tuxedos.

He resisted the urge to sigh as he watched her move through the crowd down the side of the room to where the Vice Minister was speaking to someone. Meeting her, she apparently slipped into the conversation and Relena easily smiled and took both of her hands with a little hug as they began to converse.

Women. Only they could make something like putting lights on a tree into a national event. He'd be damned if he'd ever figure them out.

"Excuse me, Sir? Could you direct us to the restroom?"

* * *

In a different mindset Heero would have probably chuckled at Wufei's hopeless plight of directing small groups of women towards the bathroom this evening. He watched from one of the arched openings in the second story media gallery as the other agent pointed the newest group towards the side doors without even bothering to uncross his arms.

He wasn't in a good mood either.

It hadn't taken much to figure out that their minds were in the same place this evening. Most of those gathered here, both uniformed and not, had the same worries in the back of their thoughts. Everyone was on alert and working overtime. Wufei and Sally were being tossed here and there so much it was hard to keep track of when they landed anymore. Heero had priorities elsewhere for a major portion of the time, but he was typically thrown in with them when he was here.

Whether assigned to it or not.

They both knew that Duo had been snooping for information but had come up empty handed. Trowa and Quatre had both returned negatives from their lists of sources and contacts as well, both asking if there was anything they could do. Even 'Oracle,' Commander Une's personal network of below-radar contacts had merely replied "Silent Night" to their request for leads.

Everything was in small fires, which gave most a sigh of relief, but it made it harder to track each and every group. They were spread, and spread thin, but their network had been created to be able to sustain such a circumstance.

At least he hoped they were.

Doing a quick look around the room he found his three subordinates on rounds as usual. Wufei was still in his place, but Sally was apparently more versed with the idea of floating around since she had been in and out for the past two hours. Currently she and Relena were holding, what appeared to be, a happy conversation between themselves.

Relena.

He couldn't imagine how Sally had managed to find her idle at all tonight. She had entered behind the Minister, with his wife on his arm this evening, but had yet to return to them as she mingled flawlessly. She literally floated, conversing here, dancing there, allowing herself to be shuffled around her political acquaintances and their guests easily.

It was difficult to follow anything but just her movements tonight.

_It came upon the midnight clear,  
That glorious song of old,  
From angels bending near the earth  
To touch their harps of gold:_

The orchestra began their quiet recital of the ancient song as the President rose to the podium set at the front of the room and the guests gathered in a hush. His speech was short as a number of media crews around the level Heero was on picked up the words and patched it out to the networks broadcasting it this evening.

Heero didn't necessarily pick up anything of importance from it, still being drawn back to Relena's pleasantly attentive form towards the far side of the room. Sally had disappeared from her again, probably making a round through the hallways at this specific time. And so she stood, alone in the crowd around her.

The President gave them a smile and wished everyone a happy Unification Day, and Merry Christmas, and with a press of his remote switch the giant tree in front of them lit up in a sparkling shower of lights. The tree itself held a light for each colony, and each national providence representing a voting district, now that 'countries' no longer held meaning.

Needless to say, it was a very bright tree.

_"Peace on the earth, good will to men,  
From heaven's all-gracious King."  
The world in solemn stillness lay  
To hear the angels sing._

The crowd applauded the lighting and the people around began their conversations and mingling once more. And he watched Relena accept an invitation to another dance by another nameless gentleman.

The garlands and strings of lights, bows and tinsel and trees, none of it matched her.

If this was a Christmas scene, she was the angel. Her hair was uncharacteristically curled up in a bunch of ringlets at the crown of her head, cascading at different lengths down her neck to brush her shoulders. Her gown was white, set a little off the shoulder, and gracefully plain. It hugged her to her waist where the skirts puffed out just a little to swish around her. A blue sash of sorts wrapped around her middle and made a bow over her right hip. The skirts were layered and split down the center to show the same blue underneath. Long sleeves ended with frilly little cuffs, threaded here and there with the same coloring.

A deep, sky blue. As if someone were actually trying to match her eyes.

And if they were, they failed.

_Still through the cloven skies they come  
With peaceful wings unfurled,  
And still their heavenly music floats  
O'er all the weary world;_

He pulled his thoughts forcefully away from her again. He'd been far too distracted tonight. He should know better, he chided himself. There was no room for error tonight.

Heero scanned over the room again, finding nothing out of place though. He quickly threw a glance over his shoulder at the little group of camera techs leaving down the hall behind him to get to the stairs. All nodded towards him and each had their proper press ID badges on.

It was once they passed that he happened to look past the hallway and out the window set to shine light into the ballroom during daylight hours. Now it showed tiny puffs of white falling lazily towards the ground. He started, nearly going directly for his phone before catching himself.

Snow.

He was on Earth. It was only snow.

It was a forceful reminder after growing up on colony. Weather patterns of the artificial systems couldn't allow for precipitation. When someone made the reference to colony 'snow' it was the fire-retardant, air-purification foam that was released in an emergency to preserve the air supply of the enclosed structures.

And it was a sight that he'd seen once too often.

The little girl and Mary the dog, going for a walk. The little girl who had lived in the family quarters for the base that… that he'd…

That he'd destroyed.

He'd underestimated the impact that the explosions would cause. The factory had been easily destroyed; it was almost too simple of a mission. He was trained far beyond the worthless security forces in place. It was laughable how unprepared they were…

But the secondary explosive material had started a chain reaction, beginning with the guard Leo suit that had… collapsed into the quartering building.

And there was nothing he could have done by that point. Nothing but stand back and watch as the four surrounding colony blocks went up in flames.

…And the foam began raining down to try to do what the local fire departments couldn't.

Heero turned away from the memory before he continued too far, turning back to the ballroom beneath him. He attempted to block out the images of the tiny snow flakes that twirled outside the window, turning his stomach as the old scar flared in his mind.

_Above its sad and lowly plains  
They bend on hovering wing,  
And ever o'er its Babel-sounds  
The blessed angels sing. _

Again he sought out the figure he'd watched all night. The twirl of the dancing angel on the floor below. From here he could just pick out the glint of light that reflected off of the necklace she still wore, even with her formal attire. The necklace he had given her to be a symbol for her, and a reminder to himself.

Duo was right, she had no idea that her pendant was actually a locking pin that had once been part of Wing ZERO's cockpit. He figured she might find it morbid to wear something that had belonged originally to a weapon.

But it was also the piece of him that she wore. He trusted her. And that meant that he trusted her with what had been his life before. She'd forgiven him so many times for things that she couldn't even begin to understand herself. But if she knew, honestly knew, what he had done in his life, would she still be able to?

The bright flashes of flames caught up in front of his eyes once more as the memories closed in again. Or would he only repay a kindness with a cruelty again?

The sweet little girl… The charred teddy bear…

He snapped back out of it as his phone vibrated against his side. Pulling it off instantly he looked down at the all-call alert flashing in orange on the screen. From his vantage point it wasn't hard to pick out the other officers in the room receiving the same alert. Looking back at the screen and text message scrolled up giving an address, a request for backup, and a single line explanation: Explosion.

It had come.

Heero sprinted from his spot for the stairs, recognizing the address as probably less than three blocks away. Dialing his phone in the process he got a hurried reply from Delano, who was still somewhere on the floor below with the other two. "Stay with her. Take her back to the estate, and stay put until you hear from me."

With that, he added the phone back to his hip before swinging around the floor and racing for the main doors just as a handful of other agents and officers were moving too. He caught sight of Wufei in the lead and Sally calmly trying to sort people off, ensuring not too many of them left to leave this building open for attack as well.

This place had already been secured as much as possible, forces were now on the alert and tracking everything they could in the entire area. There was no need for him to stay, she would be fine, he knew that.

What he didn't know until he'd already hit the cold of the snowing night was that he was running directly into his own nightmare.

It didn't matter if he knew where the address was because as soon as he crossed into the elaborate lawn outside of the Presidential mansion he could see the smoke and dust raising into the night sky and the blare of sirens screaming in towards them.

_Yet with the woes of sin and strife  
The world has suffered long;  
Beneath the heavenly strain have rolled  
Two thousand years of wrong;_

Moving past some of the other Preventers he tore off through the streets sprinting for ground zero, only to be stalled by the still slowly expanding dust cloud that choked the streets. People from neighboring buildings and complexes were clumping around, trying to figure out what was going on, or running in the opposite direction.

Fighting through, he dodged the increasing numbers of people, beginning to pick out shouts and screams. Local police were already on loud speakers telling people to move back and allow emergency vehicles into the area.

But none of it prepared him for what he saw when he rounded the last corner towards the still billowing cloud of rising smoke and ash.

Rubble. Nothing but rubble.

An entire city block was decimated into a four-story high pile of debris. He was stopped in his tracks just before he would have tripped over the piles of ash and scattered chunks of—of what?

Quickly scanning the area he pulled up what he could remember of the city layout, finding the building next to him as a landmark he slowly turned back to the mass of twisted metal and concrete that now sat uneasily under patchy flames. A quick search of the area just on the outskirts of the destruction confirmed his analysis.

The new hospital. The one just recently finished. The one with building equipment still scattered around, and the concrete sidewalks and driveway that were freshly laid.

The one that the President had been at this morning for their ribbon cutting.

_And man, at war with man, hears not  
The tidings which they bring;  
O hush the noise, ye men of strife,  
And hear the angels sing! _

Sirens were quickly surrounding the scene, lights flashing against the bright flames that rose into the sky. Heero cautiously stepped forward, surveying the area, but finding nothing but the rubble around him.

This was not an accident, not even a simple bombing or planned attack… This was a demolition.

The formerly twelve or thirteen story building had been reduced completely to ash without touching the neighboring structures. Each wing had fallen in on itself, the middle section obviously going first. The whole thing was piled into its own basement in an orderly mess. The fires that burned were not from the blasts at all, but probably from ignited gas lines and flammable hospital supplies. There weren't enough of them to believe anything else.

No one seemed to notice him as he carefully walked the perimeter of the site, unable to come up with anything to do. The building was officially unused yet, but that didn't mean that there was no one inside when it happened. But even if the building had been full, there was no possible way to search for survivors… if any could have been saved.

Instead he stared at the giant pile of burning rubble, dust covered along with everything else surrounding the area, finding it hard to breathe through the cloud of ash and smoke that was slowly settling under the tiny snow flakes that still drifted lazily down.

_O ye, beneath life's crushing load,  
Whose forms are bending low,  
Who toil along the climbing way  
With painful steps and slow,_

The flames and snow. The absolute lack of anything that he could do.

It stopped him in the ankle-deep debris field of powdered concrete and brick, feeling he'd be sick if he took his eyes away from the scene.

There was no measure for how long he'd been there, but it was when the sirens of a fire truck came up behind him that he turned from the building. Creeping through the crowd, the engine moved in, fighters gaping at the view before them along with everyone else for only a minute before they jumped to the only action they could.

It was then that he took a good look around at the surrounding crowd. The dust field created its own makeshift blockade to keep the average person back. They were covered and grayed, some huddled together from either fear or cold, but they stood at the edge of the destruction. Some cried at the sight, some stood in shock, but all were silent.

He watched a collection of people come from the crowd towards the fire engine but they were waved back by the professionals. Shouts came that the only thing they could do was to stay out of the way and let them work.

The hoses were turned on over his head, aimed at what they could of the flames. Heero watched as chunks of materials fell away and tumbled precariously down onto other piles under the new pressure of the water. There was no use in trying to be any closer.

Shouts of local police officers confirmed that as a small swarm of them sprinted onto the scene, attempting to surround the block and keep people at bay so that the still unsettled mass wouldn't collapse over and claim the lives of mere passer-bys.

Passers who stood, still and uncomprehending.

Including a group that caught his eye as he slowly moved away from the rubble as well. A collection of teenagers, probably his own age, stood at the side near a retirement complex building next door, huddled together. Matching booklets were still held in their hands, all dressed in Christmas colors and scarves.

Carolers. Something in his memory laden mind caught the idea and held onto it as he watched the group in some guilt-laden fixation.

One girl on the end was in tears at the sight, one hand covering over her mouth for more than just trying to filter the smoke from her breath. Behind her stood a boy who only then seemed to catch on that she was crying. Stepping in, he surrounded her with his arms, bringing her into a backwards hug. She didn't even seem to notice but he clung onto her tight.

No one else moved. Some cried, some had fallen down to the knees, but all of them stared into the slowly dying flames through the dark night and suffocating dirt.

Part of him registered the fine mist of water that wafted on the cold breeze against him as the hoses continued to pour water unto the ruined building. It turned him back to the sight of the destruction one last time before he slowly turned and walked away, slipping out through the stunned crowd who were only now beginning to come to life with questions and warnings.

And there wasn't a damned thing to do.

It was only a little over three miles between the Presidential mansion and Relena's estate. And although he hadn't known which route his feet were actually leading him in, he somehow knew that was where he'd end up. The snowflakes had stopped again, but the low clouds still hung heavy above him as he stood for a few minutes down the block from the gates.

He didn't know why he was here. She was safe. He should be… But he wasn't needed there either.

He should dismiss the others, let them go home. Somehow during the walk he'd realized that he knew that Alli had her family staying with her for the holidays, and that Delano was going to be taking the next couple days and visiting his family on colony while they had the downtime. Ry was going to dinner tomorrow with Alli and her parents before visiting his grandparents the day after.

Heero honestly had no idea why or how he'd picked up all of that information when he'd never cared to know it. He did know that Mrs. Darlian and Pegan were coming tomorrow evening to stay with Relena a couple days. That was part of his position to know…

It had also helped that he'd been invited as well.

The breeze rustled by him, cold and heartlessly cruel to whoever was caught outside. But it reminded him that even without any form of purpose, he was worrying someone by not going in. He swallowed, tasting the dust still that tried to cling to him. Forcing himself to move he sealed himself down as much as he could this night.

Reaching the gate the security guard had already greeted him and let him through without question, the posts kept tight this evening. He walked the length of the driveway alone, waving off the two others patrolling the grounds. He paused only a second at the door, breathing in one last breath of cold air before the heat of the house hit him when he entered.

The shift commander stood in position next to the stairs. "Agent Yuy…" he trailed out with an uncertain step forward. "Are you all right, Sir?" he started instead.

Worthless question. "Where are they?" he asked instead.

The apparently edgy man turned and pointed down the East hallway. "Sitting room, Sir."

Heero gave him nothing for a thank you as he made his way towards the end room. The door to the hallway was closed but he didn't even think to knock before he softly opened it and let himself in.

Ry and Alli sat on the couch, his arm around her shoulders as they were turned towards the television that hung on the opposite wall away from the door. Delano stood beside them, watching the news report as well.

_Look now! for glad and golden hours  
Come swiftly on the wing;  
O rest beside the weary road  
And hear the angels sing! _

Relena turned immediately from her sideways seat on one of the chairs as he entered, worried eyes meeting his instantly as she rose to her feet. "Heero," she breathed, raising one hand to ball over her heart.

And it wasn't right. It should have been illegal and immoral. It shouldn't have even been possible at all.

But he stood, smudged and dirty, still holding the doorknob in his hand staring at a woman so obviously in love with him that it was impossible, even for him, not to see it. A woman more beautiful than he had ever known. And a woman so scared and yet so relieved looking, all because of him.

He didn't move, merely tried not to flinch away from those worried blue eyes that claimed him. It was Relena who moved, slipping silently and slowly towards him until he could find nothing but her eyes in front of him. He barely registered it at first as she slipped her hands up to very gently hold his face.

Her hands were warm to his chapped skin as she tenderly brushed her thumbs over his cheeks. The touch softly melted the frozen emotions that had turned into a rock in his chest as he let them slip away.

Relena's hands brushed against his face once again before she slipped in, slowly moving her arms to circle his neck and bringing herself into a hug. He could do nothing but close his eyes and lean into her, finally releasing his grip on the door handle.

Hesitantly he brought his hands up to her waist, his senses displaced as his fingertips met the smooth fabric of her dress. He paused there a long moment, his body unsure if he should move any farther, but his mind was no help as it had completely shut down. But something set him in motion again, his arms crawling around her by instinct and memory until they finally surrounded her tightly.

When they had met their limits, his hands balled into fists, somehow still afraid to touch her, to be too close.

But Relena was unhesitant. She'd stayed still and quiet as he finally accepted her in. Now, she softly moved one hand to caress over the back of his head and neck, a gentle touch, so warm and pure that he could do nothing but follow it. Softly his face bowed to land on her bare shoulder, his lips and chin settling against her, his cheek brushing against her neck.

And there he stayed as his shoulders and back slowly relaxed into her calming embrace, and his hands finally moved themselves to hold onto her. Both of her arms returned to wrap around his shoulders, tracing an infinite pattern with her fingers over his back.

_For lo! the days are hastening on,  
By prophets seen of old,  
When with the ever-circling years  
Shall come the time foretold,_

* * *

Duo sat hunched on the couch in front of the television, his elbows on his knees and his hands folded to support his chin. His eyes followed the image on the screen of the destroyed building, but he wasn't listening to the announcers that talked over it.

Beside him Hilde sat curled against his side, one hand on his arm, the other softly rubbing circles on his back. Slowly waking to that fact he turned to look over his shoulder at her. She gave him a weak smile and he returned it with a grateful one of his own. Leaning back, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her in to lean against him.

He specifically turned off the television and wrapped both arms around her shoulders as they sat in the dim glow of the little Christmas tree she had put up in her front window.

* * *

Trowa stood silently in the back of the ringmaster's trailer that they had all gathered in to watch the news reports come up. The images gave him no way to respond to them, only the record of what had already happened. It seemed soulless to him, the act and the reporting.

From the corner of his vision he saw Catherine swivel around, looking side to side before finding him. He turned to meet her expression as she gave him a worried look for a moment before quickly walked back to his place in the doorway. He straightened to meet her as she wrapped herself into a hug.

He patted her shoulder before taking a good look over the rest of his family gathered here as well.

* * *

The room's heavy atmosphere was broken every so often with whispered questions or comments that no one there could answer. Mostly, they all just stayed quiet as the aerial shot of the rubble pile looked back at them from the screen. Quatre stood beside the coffee table in his entertainment room, following the images only half-heartedly, a hand mindlessly rubbing his thumbnail over his lips.

Vaguely he noted one of the others shift and blinked back his own thoughts enough to turn a slow look over the room. Fourteen of the Maguanacs were with him here, doing nothing but watching the reports come in as well.

He pulled his hand away from his face and slowly sank down to sit on the arm of the sofa next to Rasid.

* * *

She was sitting at the very end of an ambulance; its doors open wide as she stared into space at the scene. Her knees were drawn up as her arms hugged around them. Sally didn't even stir as Wufei came up beside her, giving her a quick look over to make sure nothing had happened to her in the middle of all of this.

There was nothing for her to do. A few passing motorists had been injured at the time of the explosion, but were already treated or taken to a hospital. They couldn't even get close enough to begin a search for bodies in the wreckage. It was going to take a construction crew to uncover anything that might be buried. The flames had died out as soon as they cut off the gas lines and the fire hoses did their jobs. Now it was mostly down to the twirling flashes of emergency lights to see by.

Silently he took a cautious position beside her at the ambulance door, crossing his arms and trying to tear his eyes away from the destruction. Sally finally seemed to take notice of his presence and she turned to look up at him for a long moment before reaching out a hand to place on his elbow. He blinked down at her a second before shifting his crossed arms to lay one hand over top of hers.

* * *

The still photo clips scrolled past the viewer, every one of them over an hour old, but it still glued him in place as Zechs leaned over the monitor. Small reports were filtering in from all over the Colonies and Earth. Small terrorist attacks had cropped up in at least a handful of places. Some were already dealt with; the one pictured now would take months.

Noin stood at his side, her hip braced against the consol as she watched the feed from the satellite over his arm. Looking up at her from his position he found her eyes for a long moment before he stood and turned. Slipping in he cupped her face in his hands and bent to press a gentle kiss on her lips, but she caught a couple handfuls of his shirt and kept him in place.

* * *

She stood with her hands still holding the forgotten teacup as the television cast the only light into her office. Dorothy quietly noted the attacks, but could not place a pattern to them. It would take time to see if any similarities were found, or if they truly were as randomly created as they appeared.

Her satellite phone, set purposefully on her desk, rang for attention behind her, bringing her from her thoughts as she turned to look down at the thing. She knew who it was, and that he would have no more answers than she did, but she moved to answer it anyway.

_

* * *

When peace shall over all the earth  
Its ancient splendors fling,  
And the whole world give back the song  
Which now the angels sing._

He wasn't sure what eventually brought him out of it, but Heero softly opened his eyes, his face still against Relena's shoulder. Blinking lazily he looked up just enough to note the rest of the room. Ry and Alli still sat on the couch, his arm wrapped over her shoulders as they both stared into space and she absently fiddled with the end of her braided hair. Delano had taken the chair next to them at some point, hunched forward and staring at nothing but the carpet. The news report still played over the screen at the back of the room, but no one paid attention to it.

He had no idea how long he'd let them stay like this, but he somehow didn't feel ashamed of his display in front of them. Softly he moved a hand to rub Relena's back as he lifted his head from her shoulder again. She moved to look up at him, her eyes blinking open, worry still embedded in them but it was surrounded by something so deep he didn't trust himself to watch too long.

She looked over his face, a hand coming back to brush his bangs back and smooth a caress over his cheek. Relena made no move to let him go, and he knew that she wouldn't whether he tried to or not. But something in him was rooted in place, reaching for something he couldn't name in her.

Relena must have seen it in him, the ache of need that tore at his chest as he numbly stood in her arms. His very soul collected in his throat, choking him to less than a whisper. "Relena…"

But nothing else came. He had no way to reach out to her.

Instead he softly closed his eyes again, trying to pull himself back in, trying to block out the feeling of falling. But he felt her move in as she brushed his bangs back once more. Her lips found his tenderly and it took a second for him to remember how to respond. But his arms pulled around her tighter, pressing her into him.

Her soft hold fastened around his shoulders as well, staying close. But as they pulled back he could taste the dust again and licked it off of his lips, the feeling tearing at him.

"Heero?" she whispered, her cheek against his now.

He had no way to answer her as he felt himself slowly ease into place again. He felt as though he was missing it, letting something slip away. As though she was ignoring the screaming feelings inside of him.

He pressed her a little tighter in response, still not opening his eyes. He needed it. Whatever it was, he prayed she'd know. He needed her. A part of her that, until now, he didn't know what it meant. He needed her to show him…

She hugged him tightly and nuzzled in just a little closer to his ear. "Heero…"

'Say it,' he mentally pleaded with her. 'Tell me.'

"I love you… so much," she breathed, clinging to him with both arms.

And he did fall. His thoughts and torments of the last couple hours disappeared somewhere, replaced with the warmth of those words. For once he felt like he could just reach them, just brush against understanding them, but it was closer than he had ever gotten. They wrapped up the need and the longing in him that pulled him to her.

They were words that only she could give him. Feelings that only she could inspire in him. And emotions that he could only hold for her in return… Emotions that he could only show to her.

She'd protect him if he would let her. She'd know how to get him through this if he'd tell her. He could trust her. He needed her.

And for once, it didn't hurt to admit it. It didn't terrify him to think of caring this much for her.

She'd love him, whether he let her or not. And she understood, whether he told her or not. She would ignore all of his life before, take it in as simply part of him, and love him still. She could teach him to be better and he promised that he would show her what he was truly capable of.

She was his. And if he'd just let himself… he was hers.

And he'd let her.

Heero moved back just enough and pressed her into a kiss again, gently easing his feelings down and drawing his strength back from her. He pulled away, squaring his shoulders under her hold and moved his face to lean his forehead against hers for a moment.

It didn't take much for him to feel three pairs of eyes on them once he got his senses back. Looking up he found them all staring a bit wide-eyed. Delano and Alli immediately turned away, finding anything else to look at. Ry just flashed a guilty smile at being caught.

"Go home," he stated, much milder than he would have liked.

None them needed any other instruction as they stood and all but ran for the door that he carefully led Relena back from. Ry happily closed the door behind them and Heero turned away from it again to look down at the woman still in his arms.

Relena sheepishly looked up at him, her face flushed red in embarrassment, before dropping her forehead onto his shoulder to hide it. He could only smile at the innocent blush. Running a hand up her back he gently wound his fingers into the curls of her hair as he renewed his hold around her.

Tonight he understood what it meant to be loved.

* * *

"Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved." - Augusta E. Rundel

"Oh! lovely voices of the sky  
Which hymned the Saviour's birth,  
Are ye not singing still on high,  
Ye that sang, "Peace on earth"?" - Felicia Hemans

AN: I had no intentions of turning this chapter in a song-fic. I wanted more for you to see it as background music, especially during the last scenes. BTW, "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" was written by Edmund Hamilton Sears in 1849.

Snow on Colony. We see it in Endless Waltz as a fantastic backdrop to the grim demolition of the area in Heero's past… but the danged authors didn't have to explain how it went from apparently summer (in the little girl shot) to winter in the next, and he's still standing around in nothing but spandex. Sooooo, leave it up to me to figure out the 'technical' details. Hope you don't mind my explanation.

I realize that this is not a happy Christmas image to leave you all with, but here is your promised chapter. I hope I didn't spoil anyone's festive moods! My deepest wishes to you all for a happy and peaceful Christmas, or Holyday of your religious creed, and a wonderful new year!


	17. Chapter 17

AN: THANK YOU! Wow. My sweet readers, you have no idea what kind of a fantastic Christmas present it was for me to receive your reviews! A special thank you for the compliments I got about people remembering their loved ones and the meaning of Christmas. That is truly heartwarming for me! Also, thank you to those who thought I did a nice job at re-inventing the 'snow' concept. I'd hoped you wouldn't find that a cheesy explanation.

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 17

It had tried to snow all night, just off and on with light flakes falling from the blanket of the heavy clouds. He watched them settle down, slow and quiet, to melt into the grass and sidewalks. It wasn't cold enough for it to stay apparently.

He teetered between terrorizing memories and the benign image that now looked back at him. But nothing seemed to sink in too deeply. Like the snowflakes, the thoughts melted immediately and didn't stay. Instead, the words sounded hollow, trivial to his own ears.

But to her… Well, he couldn't know.

Relena had pulled him over to the couch with her after the others had left. He'd taken his jacket off and placed it inside out over the pale flowered furniture piece, hoping he wouldn't smudge it as badly as he noticed he had her dress. It really didn't seem right to see the mixture of concrete dust and smoke rubbed here and there against the pristine white.

She didn't care. It wouldn't matter to her.

Relena had tucked herself back into his arms and he sat, almost sideways on the couch, his side against the back cushion, and his eyes unfocused out the window behind them as the snow started and stopped. She curled into him, her head on his chest and her arms around his waist, quiet and almost unmoving.

And he talked. Something he never believed he'd do.

It was only a quiet monolog, sketchy descriptions of things that were best forgotten, but hadn't been. He left out more details than he added. He didn't want to frighten her, although it didn't seem to matter. She held tightly to him and listened until he tapered out.

But he'd told her. Told her things that no one else alive knew. Told her what had happened, what he'd seen… what he'd done.

He told Relena about her. The little girl and her dog.

He told her about the first time he truly understood that his training, his life, was wrong.

They had tried after that. Dr. J. and, more precisely the shadows that funded it, had tried to retrain him. Tried to take away that knowledge of his own evil.

They failed. But they buried it enough that once again the importance of survival outweighed it during his missions. That turned guilty and hollow as well once he reached Earth. But there, he had found something to fight for, no matter how many times the sides changed or who turned against who, he learned to believe in himself. And in this hazy thing called peace.

And he had found someone who had unwaveringly believed in him.

He didn't know quite how to tell her that. He'd never understood her faith in him, then anymore than now really. But it didn't seem so confusing anymore. It was just a matter of accepting it. At one time, that was the difficult part. Now… Now he turned his eyes away from the cold night outside and down to the bundle of curls on her head.

He could accept her, hopefully the way she accepted him.

There were so many parts of him that knew he didn't belong here. Parts that would haunt him with doubts at odd times. But he knew as long as Relena would hold onto him, he would be here. And he would fight to be what she still believed in.

He'd learn how to love her if it took everything he had.

* * *

Christmas morning was starting out cold and damp. Relena sat alone in her personal sitting room staring idly out the window as dawn very slowly brightened the clouds to a dull white.

Heero had left her in the very early hours of the dark night, tenderly pressing a parting kiss on her lips when she hesitated to let go of him. Part of her heart tore as she watched him slip out of the East sitting room with a warning for her not to leave the protection of the house. But the only protection she wanted was him.

She knew where he was headed and more than likely where he still was now. Relena had only mildly paid enough attention to the news broadcasts to determine that the destruction of the new hospital wasn't the only attack to hit during the President's speech last night. There would be a number of things that would be requiring her attention as well as the Preventers'.

But still she had refused to un-stuff herself from the chair next to her chess table in order to go check her private line for messages. More than likely the Minister had already planned out a route for her through some of the less chaotic scenes in order to ease down public opinion. She had sat here for the past few hours, wondering what in the world she could possibly say.

…And this time she wasn't sure if her security commander would be joining her trip.

Half of her expected Heero to walk back onto the scene of that building's demise and stop at nothing before he found and neutralized the perpetrators. And part of her wondered if 'neutralize' would mean their permanent silence.

She honestly didn't know this morning. But what was worse was that she didn't care. At least not as much as she should. With the things that she had heard last night, it didn't seem to especially matter. Even if the glimpses that he gave her were only enough to let her know that there was more than what he was telling her.

Relena had met Dr. J. and the mercenary group that he'd commanded who were too late to save her father. She knew, now more than ever, that she would never understand men like that. She had thought that she could back then. Had thought that she had, in some way, joined them.

She didn't have any idea.

It had taken this long to realize that. And with that, came the knowledge that she would never have the reason or way to come to that type of understanding. The boy she met and knew as Heero Yuy was only invented, and named, for Operation Meteor. There was nothing she could ever truly understand or know about anything before that, even if he did try to tell her.

It would never make sense to her.

And it didn't matter. The man that she knew and loved had survived that and was now fighting for a new life. And it was that life that she would always see in him. Anything from that shadowy past was nothing more than that, a shadow. Something that she could not deny had formed him, but it was not his extent.

Rising from her chair she took a long, hard look out at the quiet neighborhood, still waking this morning.

Heero would do whatever was necessary to ensure the life and future he was striving for. She could do no less. For him, for all of those people out there, and for herself.

She had lived by these terms for years now. She had no right to ask for more.

* * *

"The travesties against the peaceful people of the Colonies and Earth affect us all. It is an affront to everyone who hopes for a future devoid of such acts of terrorism. But the actions of a few should not shake the faith of the vast populous. Standing together we, by our words, actions and prayers can eliminate this hatred and violence from being spread farther. Now, as always, we must be vigilant against retaliating hatred with more hatred."

The little screen in front of her showed the news host linked in from somewhere in the Colonies. Relena couldn't even remember anymore which network she was broadcasting with.

"Vice Minister, what should the average person being doing about this situation?" he asked in her earpiece.

She answered with a soft little smile, "It's Christmas, Sir. No matter the faith or practices of each person, I hope that people will take this holiday and anniversary to remember their love for neighbor, as well as for their families and friends. The best thing that most of us can do is show that we will not be intimidated, and we will not return to a history of violence."

"Vice Minister, how will this affect your election campaign?"

Relena tried not to show how taken aback she was by the question. "I haven't even thought of it," she answered truthfully.

"Thank you for your time, Vice Foreign Minister, Relena Darlian."

"Thank you," she snuck in before the host went on with the news reports as always.

The remote crew quickly went to work removing their equipment and she readily handed the earpiece back. That was the last interview for the day, she'd decided. There were many more requests, and honestly there was a line still outside of her door, but they could just rebroadcast her official statement from this morning. All she was doing was reiterating it anyway.

Her house security had set up a perimeter around the entry room where she'd allowed a few of the networks a private interview via remote. Now, two of them followed her out of the room and up the stairs again to her own rooms until the place had been checked through thoroughly again.

It was all that she could do for now. A schedule of trips was already planned for her and she had no hesitation about them. What she wanted more than anything was to know what the Preventers were finding. There had already been a few arrests made this morning in connection to some of the smaller problems around the colonies.

Thankfully the death toll from all eight of the attacks was far lower than it could have been, but still the price was too high. There had to be people brought to justice, and quickly if possible. The public would demand it and the groups responsible would only consider this a successful mission if they were never caught.

Relena thanked her staff and closed herself into her rooms again, knowing the drill. Taking her suit jacket off she tossed it over her desk chair and laid out on her bed. Her mother and Pagen would be here in an hour or so. They had called to ask if they should even try to come now, but she had begged them to. She intended to squeeze the life out of both of them.

* * *

"They can plot a demolition like that, but they weren't smart enough to think that this would be the first place we'd check?" Wufei sniffed in indignation. "They wanted to be found."

Heero nodded, watching as police and Preventers surrounded the area. The scene was far too familiar to him, but this time the two of them were on the fence. Their jurisdiction was secondary on this raid as the police had taken point on it before they arrived. Local police had come to check out the three demolition companies in the surrounded area. This place was the closest, about forty-five minutes away. Wufei was right; it was the first place they checked.

When the suspects inside started shooting at the police who had come to ask the standard questions, it gave the whole thing away.

It didn't add up. The explosives in the hospital could have been planted a month ago. There was no reason that these people shouldn't be long gone with their tracks covered by now. Either these people wanted their claim for the destruction, or they were merely someone's scapegoats.

In any case he didn't have a good feeling about this. The whole situation nagged at him and the idea that these people were experts at demolitions didn't settle well with him either.

Taking a quick look around he backed up a few steps from Wufei and slipped over to the SWAT team van parked behind them, casually rummaging through the supplies and pulling out a couple spare headsets. Tucking one in his ear he changed to the operating channel and moved back to Wufei's side, handing him the other one.

The man gave him a suspicious look before he took the thing but Heero made no move to join the teams up front. He just wanted to know what was going on when they went in.

* * *

"We don't want to get anybody hurt. We're here to help you," the negotiator called again towards the building.

So far it was a hopeless stalemate. If anyone got within twenty feet of the place the suspects opened fire until they backed off again. They refused to talk, but they had no bargaining chips that police knew of. SWAT surveillance, hidden somewhere unnoticed in the building, pointed out eight people, six men, two women. No hostages, no escape routes. Nothing.

Just an entire city block of police and Preventers and a factory in the middle of nowhere.

"We just want to talk," he kept trying. Personally, negotiator Phillips had a, probably sawdust dry, turkey getting cold at home that sounded a whole lot more interesting that these lowlifes. He was about to give up on the whole danged thing and give his OK for the SWAT teams to move in and take the gang.

Who blows up an un-staffed hospital anyway? These people could rot for all he cared, and he was paid to be nice to them.

"We have movement," one of the officers behind him quietly stated to the group of high brass around him.

"Meaning?" one snapped.

Phillips lowered his bullhorn and leaned into the bumper of one of the police cars. He just wanted someone to call for some action and he could sneak back to Ann and the kids. Dillon would still be in his pajamas, refusing to get dressed, even after all the presents were unwrapped and Ann's mother got there with the infamous cheese-jello salad.

Oh, he hated that stuff.

Mandy would be annoying everyone out of their minds with her new flute that Santa gave her, against daddy's best judgment. And little baby Dia would sleep through everything regardless.

"They're circling, Sir," the officer stated, pressing his earpiece in harder and listening to the voices coming over it from the team inside. "They seem to be making a recording of some sort."

"Recording?" the chief gnawed at his nicotine gum and gave the building a sideways look. They were all as close as they could be before the group usually opened fire. Taking a look up and down the line of men, he hiked his pants again and shook his head. "We got a bunch of lunatic suicidals on top of this?"

"Tell the team we need them alive. A bunch of body bags won't appease any of those politicians," another added, staring at the high windows along the factory side.

"Yes, Sir," he addressed and relayed the message back to the group.

"Tear gas, flash-bangs, whatever they've got," the chief went on spouting orders. "And get that recording. Who knows what else they've got on it."

"Sir," the relay interrupted. "SWAT reports that they are sitting down and simply… waiting."

"For what?" everyone asked.

"Send the team," came a low voice from behind them as the group turned.

Phillips blinked twice to make sure he was seeing right. A kid dressed in a Preventer agent jacket was standing there in the middle of the pile of officers. At first he wanted to make a Halloween joke, but the look on the guy's face said he wouldn't appreciate it. Dark brown hair fell into his eyes, but hid none of the piercing malice evident in the dark blues.

The negotiator's foot slipped off of its place on the bumper, nearly spilling him over the hood of the car if he hadn't recovered.

"And who the hell do you think you are?" Chief gruffed at him. "Those are my men in there," he pointed.

"Along with my partner," he stated, making a minuscule nod towards the door they had been guarding the past three hours.

The group looked up to watch as a man with a thin black ponytail and agent jacket casually walked up to the door, opened it, and walked in. Everyone balked for a second before snapping back to the kid behind them.

"We will be ensuring that nothing goes wrong. Tell the team to act. Now," his eyes narrowed noticeably. He didn't wait for an answer as he walked through them too and pulled the same stunt as his friend.

"Sir…" the shaken relay officer started. "SWAT reports the first Preventer has entered the building. No suspects have noticed him. They are waiting for orders, Sir."

The chief slammed a fist down on the car hood and then viciously spit his gum out as the agent that had spoken to them walked through the door. Cursing even more viciously he growled at his officer. "Apprehend them!"

The younger man stood wide-eyed at the display. "…Which ones, Sir?" he squeaked.

"The suspects you idiot!" came the bellow.

"SWAT, move in and take the suspects. Repeat, take the suspects."

'Preventer Agents get psych. exams too, don't they?' Phillips quipped to himself, running both hands successively through his hair.

The building lit up for a second as a loud pop sounded even out to them in the parking lot. The flash-bangs would temporarily blind and deafen anyone in the building without the protective gear the team wore. Those kids picked the wrong time to play hero. They'd be just as helpless as the suspects now.

"Flash-bang. Team is moving to surround," the officer reported the play-by-play. "Suspects reached. Recording device is in possess…" he trailed out as their group turned to watch the man throw a confused look up to the factory in front of them.

He didn't get anything more out as the high windows at the top of the wall lit up and a fireball blew the front door off the hinges. The group flung themselves to the ground in reflex as the heat of the blast washed over them, the concussion jarring Phillips' teeth in his head.

Picking himself up to all fours he crawled over and then move to peek over the hood of the car they had been around as the rest of the officers and the surrounding uniforms went into a panic.

He'd eat the cheese-jello! He promised!

"SWAT two and three, get in there!" the chief yelled over the newly confiscated bullhorn. "Everyone else, back off!" he screamed.

"Wait, SWAT one reporting, Sir!" the relay officer called, relief evident, before he went confused looking again. "Suspects are secured. Requesting medical attention immediately."

"EMTs!" the chief yelled at the group prepped off to their side. "Next entrance, get in there! SWAT two, take them!" The groups pounded the pavement towards the nearest of the other entrances. "What happened?" he snapped, slamming both hands on the hood of the car, making Phillips jump again.

The relay officer shakily shook his head. "I don't know, Sir. One minute they had the recording device and the next there was a struggle of some sort, and then the explosion."

"Well, why don't you find out?" the superior, mock-calmly, pointed out to him.

"Oh," he started. "Yes, Sir."

Phillips, still on his knees behind the car looked up at him and nodded vigorously in agreement.

"SWAT team, report." For a second the man listened, pressing the headset into his ear farther before looking up towards the next door on the factory side. "Team is coming out, Sir. Suspects with them."

"What?" the other looked over. "Who the hell is injured then?" he threw up his arms.

"SWAT two is reporting injuries to…" the man swallowed, "a Preventer agent and three suspects. Open wounds."

"Idiot," Chief whispered to himself. "Got himself caught in the line of fire."

A SWAT team member came sprinting from the side entrance they were exiting through, coming up and stopping in front of them. "Reporting, Sir," he gasped.

"What the hell happened?"

Phillips finally decided that maybe he should stand up now and casually moved back to his feet.

"We moved to apprehend the immobilized suspects, Sir, when I went to pick up what we had thought was a recording device."

"What you thought?" Chief raised an eyebrow as he pulled out two more pieces of gum from his pocket and threw them in his mouth, biting down hard.

"Yes, Sir, it was actually… set to detonate." Removing his headgear completely, he licked his smoke blackened lips. "The Agent beat me to it and chucked the thing, slamming me out of the way."

"And got himself hit?" he asked through the side of his mouth, not unclenching the gum.

"No, Sir. He's fine," the SWAT leader turned to point to where the first Preventer they'd seen enter the building was sprinting back into it carrying half of a medical stretcher, the EMT behind him was barely able to keep up. "The other Agent covered two of my men and a suspect who were closest to where the blast hit. Three of the suspects were apparently prepared for the flash-bang but they didn't make a move until after the thing exploded. Then the one took a knife to the guy."

The chief cursed between his gun chomping. "Got himself hurt?"

"Took the knife to his left forearm," he stated.

"And?" Phillips asked, enraptured by the story.

"The Agent shot him. Point-blank, through the shoulder. Picked off the one trying to run for it through the smoke too. Deliberately grazed both thighs."

The rest of the brass around hit their jaws on the pavement and the chief's chomping tapered out as he looked at his SWAT leader incredulously. "With a knife wound?"

The man almost tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it. "With the knife still in, Sir. The guy actually holstered his weapon before he took it out himself."

Phillips stood in shock at the mental image. "…Eww."

* * *

"You two just had to go see if you could get blown up, didn't you?" Sally nagged. She was tired, dirty, had a headache the size of Wufei's ego and had Heero bleeding in the exam room. "You're lucky it didn't hit a tendon or a major artery."

"There was no choice. They would have killed everyone in there," Wufei interrupted from his position against the wall.

She turned and glared at him. "You're not helping."

He only closed his eyes on her and bowed his head like he could fall asleep standing up. He wouldn't want to look overly concerned or anything. What did she expect?

She turned back to Heero, who sat silently on the exam table, his left arm bandaged tightly against him pulling the stitches out by accident. "Fine, don't listen to me," she huffed at him.

Heero only mildly turned to look up at her as though he didn't understand what he'd done wrong.

Leveling herself down to be eye to eye with him, she smirked. "You're going to have bigger problems than me to deal with as soon as Relena finds out about this."

And she swore up and down that she saw his eyes widen.

* * *

"Courage is the price life exacts for peace." - Amelia Earhart 


	18. Chapter 18

AN: You guys are so impatient with this story. :) Well, I would be too. Sorry for the delay, and a happy late birthday to Kayrie!

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 18

Secondary mission profile. Necessity level: Self-preservation. Description: Find a way to sever communications between Sally and Relena.

That was the mindset he'd walked in with at least.

Heero was clad in a long sleeved uniform shirt and pants only. One of his jackets was dirtied and torn from the clearing work they had done once he'd gotten back to the scene of the hospital and the other was cut and blood soaked. He hadn't gone through the request forms for replacements yet.

He had thought that time was too short to bother today. However, he wondered now if it would have helped any.

In all truth, the past three days had worn through more than just his jackets, and he was sure it showed by now. A group of agents and officers had spent the rest of Christmas day and most of the night watching the interrogation of the group that had tried to blow themselves, and the SWAT team, up in the factory space of the demolitions company.

He, Wufei and Sally had been forcefully told to go home and get some sleep by any number of people before Commander Une caught them still in the office and demanded that they all get some rest. Heero had managed to get home, fall down on the bed, and got about three and half or four hours before his phone rang with their next lead.

One of the suspects had cracked, or at least they thought he had.

Yesterday was mostly a waste of time. The leads were starting to stretch farther into financial pockets rather than into terrorist organizations. The hospital's insurance company's CEO was already detained for questioning as to when the company planned to file for bankruptcy, as they seemed to be all but ready for it before the building went down. Several other investment groups were having warrants served against them for their bank transactions and computer systems.

The group of mercenaries that they had found had been nothing but pawns. Heero had already known that simply by their actions afterwards. The group provided the right mind-set and willingness to die for the cause, but they had been set up for the fall. Apparently someone didn't realize just how much these over-zealous scapegoats actually knew.

The mess was far from over though, and he was sure that the leads and ties would still be coming from any number of places. But he had decided early this morning as he stared at the list of suspects and seizure warrants, that his part was done. At least for now.

The Preventer force had a number of negotiation experts and criminal lawyers. Going after the get-rich-quick profiteers wasn't his job and he didn't want it. Relena's newly revised itinerary had been in his message box before he'd even left for the night, and it started with her flight out this afternoon.

And he had no intentions of letting her go anywhere without him. He hadn't talked to her since he'd left her house after the initial attack most of three days ago.

So, he had unrolled his sleeves and buttoned the cuffs to hide the bandages around his left forearm as much as possible, and walked across the street and up to her office.

The official functions of the government were still on holiday and the building was down to the dull muffle of a few diligent workers here and there. He was greeted at the entrance to the building by standard security and waved through, but that was the extent of their presence. By the time he reached the hallways around her office there was no one else in sight.

He had swiped his own card and punched in his makeshift override code to turn off the automated cameras anyway.

And here he stood, just inside the closed door where he'd stopped cold as Relena turned away from the window she stood in front of, looking back at him. She didn't move, didn't greet him, didn't even smile.

In the spare minutes he'd had here and there he had wondered at Sally's accusation that Relena would berate him for getting himself hurt. He didn't know about berating, but he knew she would be worried when she found out, something that he did feel ashamed of. Relena didn't need that type of worry with everything else right now, especially over a rather trivial injury to him.

Of course, she didn't see any injury as trivial. He knew that well enough from as many times as she'd personally bandaged him up.

Heero was expecting one of her infamous lectures actually. But that should have come after her, less political and more headstrong, side yelled at him for being careless. And then given him a hug and softening out to ask the pointless question of whether or not he'd be all right.

He was prepared to deal with her temper and her concern.

But this he wasn't prepared for. This was far worse.

Blinking rapidly she turned away again, moving only enough to raise a hand and snatch away what he could only assume was a tear. Relena seemed to try to regroup herself quickly, taking a breath and then slowly turning fully to walk towards him.

But he'd seen it. And it caved his chest in.

She really wasn't looking at him as she slowly moved across the room to him, obviously searching quickly for something to say. He knew her tells too well by now. His only chance was to beat her to it. "Relena?"

She stopped a few feet short of him as though she didn't expect him to say anything, snapping up to look at him finally. Her eyes were still a little watery, just tinged with red, actually enhancing the color of the clear, sky blues.

Still she didn't say anything, and he didn't dare move towards her, afraid that she would back away. "What's wrong?" he tried instead. It usually worked to provoke some sort of response from her.

This time she softly shook her head. "Nothing," she answered in a whisper.

Nothing? He blinked at her. Nothing? How did she expect him to believe that? He knew she was lying.

That thought hit a hollow cord with him inside.

Relena just shook her head again, and this time she did almost get to a smile before she moved again and slowly slipped in to very gently wrap her arms around his shoulders. "Nothing," she whispered again towards his ear.

Heero wasn't sure if she was timid about the touch or if she thought that she'd hurt him if she held too tightly. Neither idea made any sense to him. He didn't understand the reaction at all. And he didn't know why she was trying to lie to him.

But the impulse to comfort her was strong, and although a little shaken he moved his left arm to wrap around her waist, keeping it straight to ease the pulsing ache in it, and moved his right up her back to hold her there. This couldn't be just about him, could it? Something else must have happened. Something that she didn't want to tell him about, maybe?

This whole situation in the last few days was more than a little disturbing to anyone who had been through last year's ordeal. Perhaps he had underestimated the impact this was taking on her. But she usually wasn't the one to break down into her emotions like this. She was usually so much stronger at using them to push her forward.

"Does it always have to be you?" she whispered again, disrupting his thoughts.

What?

Her hold tightened slowly and he did the same, not having any idea what else to do. "I know I shouldn't think like that. I understand your place and your job. I know what it means to be a Preventer. But…"

There was a tremor that ran down her back and it surprised him. Tightening his hold on her he forced her to step in or lose her balance against him as he pressed her to him.

He felt her relax into to him, softening even as her hands bunched around pieces of his shirt in what had to have been a white-knuckled hold. "There's nothing I can do to stop the worry, Heero," she confided.

The crack in her whispered voice chilled him. She turned her face to nuzzle into his neck and he swore that he could feel the cold dampness on her cheek, freezing anything left of him.

"I know that you probably don't want me to be, but it terrifies me to know that you're in these situations. It's the same as it always was. I have to rely on you to be where no one else wants to be, and there is nothing I can do about it." Slowly her voice gained its strength again, moving slowly from the whisper to low but normal. "I'm sorry," she finally stated, her hands smoothing down his shirt as she relaxed her death-grip on him. "I shouldn't distract you with this."

Distract him? It was far too late for that. It had been years since he could think of dying without thinking of the consequences to her. The last time he committed himself to his death he stood next to _Libra_'s power core and knew for the first time in his life that he would be mourned for.

Risking everything wasn't something that had been washed out of his blood. He was used to it, and in truth, still reveled in it. Wufei knew that better than anyone. They were 'fulfilled' in the heat of the moment. It was what their lives had prepared them for.

But Relena knew it too now, except it terrified her. And he had no way of comforting her. Heero couldn't possibly swear away the assignments or missions or, like that, the glaring necessity of a situation. It didn't matter if he put that jacket back on or not. He knew that he would always be called to the same things.

And his Relena didn't know how to deal with the idea that there was nothing she could do to stop it.

But she was wrong. This year had brought only a few minor attacks. Next year would see even less. And that was not because of him, or the Prevneters. It was her. Her movement, her ideals, her grip on the heart of the people. They were both living for her dream.

"It's all I can do for you," he finally hit on something to spit out.

Even in his tight embrace she found a way to lean back. He met her eyes as they lovingly searched his. "No it's not."

The rebuttal took him off guard. And he didn't get the chance to react before she leaned in again to kiss him. The tenderhearted touch was gentle, familiar… and it didn't match the emotions in him.

Whether it was the amount of adrenaline that had pushed through his system in the past seventy-two hours, or the complete confusion she had brought up, or just the side-effect buzz of the mild painkillers Sally had pushed on him, Heero didn't care. Something just refused to be gentle right now.

Forgetting his place entirely he abandoned any other coherent thought and kissed her back. Harder.

His already strong grip around her tightened farther, needing her closer. Ignoring the blossom of pain that flared through him from the muscles surrounding the knife wound, he kept her there. He felt her gasp for breath as he took over the lead of her kiss, but it didn't register with him. Through the back of his mind his control made sure not to hurt her, but everything else was left to the necessity of having her.

The necessity of being with her. Of letting her know that he was right here. Of alleviating her worries over him. …The necessity to understand what else he could be to her.

What he wanted to be. Whether he knew how, or even understood, or not.

_Want_ had never hit him so hard before. Desire was an unnecessary distraction. A secondary consideration at best. Necessity and survival were his life. Need was what he understood.

But as she retuned his kiss, measure for measure, 'want' and 'need' no longer held the meanings he was used to.

* * *

It was an odd switch. Relena sat quietly in her seat on the shuttle, a data pad in her lap as she scrolled through makeshift speech notes and probable questions that had already been raised through the media. Beside her, Heero sat with his arms crossed and head bowed as he dozed lightly.

At least she thought he was. Figuring him to be a very lightly sleeper, she kept herself from trying to scrutinize him. With her eyes on the pad, she very quietly read through the prep kit that Dawna and the Minister put together for her on the way to L2 185673, her first stop. It was the site of one of the attacks, which had been subdued.

All intelligence that both she, and Heero, had been privy to determined that a group of disgruntled war veterans had attempted to blockade a major overpass bridge, bottling traffic to a stop. Essentially the plan was to trap motorists and hold them as some type of hostages. Relena's first visit was actually to the police station where the proclaimed leader of the movement was being held before trial.

What in the world she was going to talk to the man about, she didn't know. He had told his story of abuse and public shunning for wartime soldiers to the Sphere already. Apparently she was going to be crowd control for how far that message was going to get.

Part of her didn't feel sympathetic enough for these people to feel that she was going to do them any good. There was a dyer difference between those who funneled the tendencies of war into productive endeavors and these…

She was thinking like a politician again.

It was just a little galling for her to realize how much people threw away their experiences and their hard-won insights by holding grudges. Relena supposed that that was because she knew so many who switched from soldier to protector instantly.

She would have to settle herself before meeting with him tomorrow. As it was, they would arrive late into L2, and she wouldn't hold a statement tonight. The general public was still hearing pieces of her official speech from Christmas day. She didn't feel the need to add onto it for now.

Truth be told, she was just tired. Stealing just a quick glance at Heero she wondered if she should try to close her eyes for a minute too. Here beside him, she thought maybe she could rest.

The image from the news still popped up in front of her mind's eye now and then.

Relena had been sitting around, attempting to enjoy dinner with her mother and Pagen when the security shift manager had quietly slipped into the room and called her to the news reports. She had asked them to alert her if anything further happened, but she had immediately wished she hadn't.

News crews were on the scene at a demolitions facility in an outlying suburb area a couple hours away. Herself and her family sat anxiously in the sitting room, watching for more than an hour as the standoff continued. The local police force seemed to be handling the efforts as much as possible, but the news crews were kept at a significant distance.

Relena remembered being seated on the couch with her mother, whose arm was protectively around her shoulders. Pagen sat in the nearby chair, as quietly as always. None of that mattered as soon as the blast went off and the cameras picked up the fireball that tore the front doors off their hinges.

Her heart had cringed in her chest as she wondered how many lives it would take before this was over. By the time people started being ushered out and into waiting police vans, she was more hopeful that the casualties were fewer than she thought.

But in a stray camera shot she picked out two Preventer jackets among the SWAT team outfits that were pulling people out of the building. It was just a glimpse, but she easily recognized Heero and Wufei.

And she recognized the large bloodstain on Heero's left arm.

He didn't seem particularly hurt otherwise, just roughed up from the explosion and the one visible wound. She knew he would probably shrug off an injury of any type that wasn't life threatening, but Relena ached at the thought.

She hadn't known he was there. Hadn't thought about him being in the middle of that. She should have known better.

It had taken everything she had to keep herself seated on that couch. Her mother and Pagen either hadn't noticed what she had, or they chose to hope that she'd missed it too. There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do.

She felt helpless, again.

It had eaten at her until later that night when she had gotten a private call from Sally who had kindly wanted to check up on her. That was probably a convenient excuse, she figured now. But Relena had jumped on the chance to ask about Heero without interrupting their work and investigation.

Somehow, it still hadn't helped when Sally said it wasn't anything to worry about and he'd be fine.

Relena blinked her dry eyes closed a moment. She'd been staring at her data pad without understanding a thing. How could she expect herself to get used to that feeling?

Opening her eyes once more she glanced over to Heero again, just to assure herself one more time. She started when she realized his dark blue eyes were open and softly scrutinizing her.

Relena flashed an embarrassed smile at him without knowing why. Softly he moved a hand over to her and grazed the back of his fingers along her cheek, never changing from the warm expression he gave her.

She leaned into the touch memorizing the warm but rough and dry skin against hers. The feelings bubbled up in her again as she professed to herself just how much she loved this man.

"What is it?" came the nearly silent question.

"Nothing," she responded again, letting the data pad slip off her lap and down to her bag on the floor. Moving over, she leaned into his side, the armrest hindering her efforts only a little as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Why do you keep saying that?"

Taking his hand in hers she laid it in her lap and entwined their fingers together. Closing her eyes she only mildly wondered at the note of rebuttal to his voice. "Because it's nothing I want to worry about while you're here," she answered.

Shifting she felt his cheek lay itself against the top of her head as they pillowed each other. Relena no longer cared who caught sight of any little display of affection between them. The team was still a little shocked, she thought. Ry, Alli and Delano had locked themselves into the cockpit and left them on their own for the flight, which wasn't unusual, but the remarkable quiet around them was.

"Relena?"

He must be worried. She almost smiled to herself at the thought. "I'm all right, Heero," she soothed. "I just can't get my head wrapped around anything right now. I'm just worried."

She could have laughed when he mildly squeezed her hand in his. Instead she squeezed back. Her beloved wasn't really learning anymore.

Somewhere in the past few days something had changed in him. And she not only didn't mind, she felt wonderful about it. But now she found herself realizing that they were both headed into emotional terrain that neither had been in before.

Relena had an attack of nerves earlier today when he had come to her office. The tender, timid touch that she was used to from him had disappeared. Well, no, not entirely. It had just changed. His touch seemed more… fevered this morning.

She hadn't been that intimidated by him since he had first pulled a gun on her.

Well, that was a horrible comparison.

Regardless, it had left her quickly, drawing her farther into the rush of hormones. At least she assumed that was what went through her. At this point it was all blurry.

But here by his side, she was safe. His touch was tender again, but somehow more unrestrained than he had been before.

She couldn't possibly mind it.

* * *

"We build a few monuments to the fallen soldiers of both sides and expect everyone to hold hands and be happy about it," Melton Pearl scoffed. "I would never say that I'm happy about the actions taken by this group, but someone needs to realize that not everyone has moved on from the wars yet. There's a lot of hurt out there. We see it everyday. They deserve more than to be brushed aside like this."

The conference room buzzed as questions came again and the chubby man pointed out a pretty little reporter from the third row. "What else can be done, Mr. Pearl?"

He mentally sighed. "Nobody wins in war. But the general public is acting like these former soldiers came back with the danged plague. They feel used and now they feel abandoned. How do we expect them to move on if we don't give them the chance? That is a set of wild cards that our fledgling government doesn't need. Support and compensation should be offered to those who lost family on any side. Some of these boys and girls have no one to go home to and nothing to do if they got there."

"This is a criminal investigation, what does it have to do with the general populous?" someone from the back out-shouted everyone else.

Snorting, Melton shook his head. "Politics, dear boy," he smiled. "It's an election year."

The room laughed.

* * *

"Blaming an entire group of people for the actions of a few is a mistake," Relena easily combated as the questions once again turned to the Pearl-Pearl election bid. "The people responsible for the attack in L2 are not the majority of our post-war soldiers. Giving into demands from a small group without hearing the voice of the entire collection is futile."

"But, Vice Minister," the questioner interrupted, "many of the new recruits to the Preventer and local police forces are ex-military. You, yourself, have always been a supporter for such people, including your notable recommendation for Commader Une's placement."

Nodding easily she smiled, "And I always will. It shows how much the collective group of post-war military has changed. The fight for peace continues every day. And those that I am privileged to know are the ones fighting to keep that peace for us. We were all affected by the war, no matter where we were. Those that wish to continue to fight against that peace should not be considered the same as those who are fighting for it."

* * *

"You're wrong."

Relena was only half awake. After a week's worth of touring and scheduled appearances, and four more days lined up, she was barely keeping her head. Her three officers had turned in already and she was waiting for Heero's usual briefing before she kindly kicked him out the door and fell into the waiting bed.

But turning she looked up from her notes that she and Alli had scribbled out while they watched the news reports for Melton Pearl's new response to her interview today. "Wrong about what?" she asked, taken off guard by the statement.

Heero stood against the wall of the bedroom, his arms folded over his chest as he quietly watched her. "The attack on L2. You still don't understand it."

Relena felt a stab of ice go through her at the words. There was no one whose opinion would matter more to her than his, especially on a subject like this. But for over a week now he hadn't said a word. After her encounter with the leader of the ex-militant group she had been convinced that he was simply a terrorist and always would be.

She had thought that she was on Heero's side. The side of those who hadn't resorted to things like this failed hostage taking. "Some of us don't know anything but how to fight," he very softly continued. "The only difference between soldiers is who they follow. Right and wrong are determined by someone else."

Staring at him, Relena didn't know what to say. "…I don't understand," she confessed. What did this have to do with the L2 attack?

There was a smile that flickered through his eyes before he closed them and bowed his head to think. "You shouldn't."

"That doesn't help me any," she softly refuted, rising from her chair and walking over to him. "What do I do?"

Looking at her again, she stopped in front of him. He made no move to offer her a comforting hold, but instead seemed to scrutinize her a moment. "The message means more than the messengers. You can't ignore it."

* * *

"Doesn't anyone else consider it a conflict of interests for our government to be under the 'protection' of the Preventers? This is an organization that spans the entire Earth Sphere, and Mars, due in considerable part to Vice Minister Darlian's push for the outpost."

The talk show host held up her hand to cut him off. "Mr. Pearl, this is an exceptionally controversial statement. Are you really going to take the position of removing the Preventers?"

"No," Richard calmly shook his head. "My position is that the government should not be under the influence of a group that, historically, looks very much like the beginning of the Alliance."

The woman balked as the crowd broke into incredulous replies. "Excuse me?" she asked.

Rich kept his smirk down at the play-acting of the woman in front of him. She really wasn't very good. Why did agree to this particular interview? "Argue with me?" he challenged her with a raised eyebrow.

The woman wasn't expecting that. "The Preventers are not military for one thing."

This time he did raise the half smile. "Aren't they? They are armed individuals, in a rank controlled organization. What difference do you see in that?"

The woman looked back at him with an expression that read 'I'm the one asking the questions.' He didn't care in the least. "But, Mr. Pearl, the Preventers have shown no intentions of forcing military or dictator control."

"Neither did the Alliance at first. It was simply a global control network, created to ease movement of information, resources and people from area to area. The public should recognize the similarities. All it would take to repeat history is for an unchecked, system-wide organization to gain 'influence' over those in power and control. Something that the Preventers already possess."

"Possess how?" she asked.

Again Rich gave her a little smile. "Doesn't it seem mildly odd to you that the major supporters of the Preventer forces are also those individuals under their constant protection? The President, several members of Congress… Miss Darlian."

"And you're saying that the Preventers are the new threat to peace?" the woman laughed, along with the audience.

"No," he responded easily when they had calmed again. "I'm just asking who checks to make sure that our protectors don't get their loyalties turned around?"

"And so you would do what if elected?" she asked.

"Remove them from the functions of the government," he replied easily. "Starting with the standing group surrounding the Foreign Ministry Department."

"Why there?"

Richard Pearl sat easily in his chair in front of her and gave her a patient look. "Because that should be the most unbiased office in government."

The crowd made a varying degree of applause or boos, but Rich waited for them to die down again for the host to continue. "Mr. Pearl, this statement is something that will fall on a lot of deaf ears at this point in time. You must be aware of the quick work that they made of the attacks against the people during the anniversary celebrations."

"Of course I do," he responded quickly. "I would never say that they are obsolete, or unnecessary. Their function has a number of tactical advantages."

* * *

"The advantages of the Preventers are not only 'tactical' but influential," Relena easily refuted the quote that she had heard at least a dozen times today. Her running opponent had finally made his own début to the public.

And had all but personally slapped her.

To say that she was a little upset was an understatement. "The Preventers are being hailed as the heroes in this past week for their work with the attacks over Christmas. Disrupting their work could cost us the structure we have built up between Earth and the Colonies."

The interviewer nodded mildly to her. "And what about the accusation that they should not be involved with government politicians?"

Relena tried not to grimace. "It is a valid point, and one that has been raised among government officials a few times during the past year. Simply put, at this point in time, there is no alternative. Developing a new entity to take on the security of ranking officials takes time and a considerable amount of work. Work which would need to be undertaken by each level of the ESUN government and with all official parties. Something like that takes time. Just as the development of the Preventers did to start with."

"So you don't believe in following up with this?" he asked.

"I believe it is a valid concern which can be dealt with in due time. What Mr. Pearl fails to realize is that there are 2897 Representatives in the ESUN House and getting something to pass with a majority vote is arduous, as it should be."

If Richard Pearl wanted a fight with her, picking on the Preventers was the way to get one.

* * *

"'…_we_ have built up between Earth and the Colonies'? Personally I find that not only condescending, but arrogant. Far from what some people, and possibly Miss Darlian herself, believe, Earth and the Colonies did not declare peace and co-existence because she single-handedly commanded them to," Rich lightly chuckled.

He was sure he wasn't making many friends, but at least he was getting some fun out of this.

"Now, Mr. Pearl, it would appear that Vice Minister Darlian agrees with you to some extent. What do you think of her 'time frame'?" the man shook his head as he asked.

Why did he keep getting these cheep network interviewers? "I think that the Foreign Ministry Department seems to get anything else that they want in record time," he accused.

The man did a poor job of hiding his shock. "You're suggesting that if they wanted this, they could push it through?"

A small smile raised his lips. "I'm suggestion that, especially now in these first years of combined government, the Foreign Ministry Department is one that is highly looked up to and very influential to all members of the government. If they lead, then others will take the issue seriously and act accordingly."

Relena Darlian was no innocent little girl; Rich was beginning to see that. But regardless of the outcome, he intended to press that exact issue.

* * *

"Well, if you decide to have your—personal—little army of Preventers make it so that he has an 'accident' you can drop him at my house," she positively purred.

"Dorothy, I am not dealing with this," Relena tossed back at the vid-screen which had the picture blanked out as she randomly tossed things around her luggage on the bed.

"Quick witted, sharp tongued, intelligent and haughtily obstinate," the phone giggled at her. "Would you take it as a personal insult if I started dating your opponent?"

"Yes," she snipped over her shoulder at the offending vid-phone. "You're already dating someone."

"Only in your little version of the world," Dorothy snipped back.

Sighing Relena viciously shook her hand lotion bottle. "I don't like him," she stated for no other reason that to blow of steam.

"I love him," she sighed. "But I think the feelings between the two of you are mutual. At least it seems like it. He's been very up front in denouncing any of your little pet projects. He must be thoroughly enjoying the attack."

"The rest I can deal with," Relena waved it off as she finally opened the bottle and got way more of the lotion than she bargained for. "But the attacks on the Preventers will get to me."

"Careful. If he begins to notice that he's gotten under your skin he's going to pry at it all the harder. The first time you come unraveled, he wins. The vote count after that means nothing."

Relena massaged the stuff quickly into her hands, arms, elbows and then plopped down on the bed to put the excess on her ankles. "My ankles are puffy," she tiredly noted.

"More water," Dorothy helpfully commented. "Now then, have you given any thought to our humble invitation?"

"I sent the idea to Minister Wellington. I haven't heard back. You and Marquis Wayridge really believe that a fundraiser for us in the heart of former-Romafeller country is going to be beneficial, huh?" she responded, not sure she was convinced on it.

"Like I said, the Marquis is set on it. I can see it going either way. But a lot of that will have to do with the guest list," Dorothy vocally seemed to shrug.

Relena nodded to herself, understanding that better than anyone at this point in time. "Do I at least get the comfort of my greatest Colony supporter too?" she only half teased.

"I'm sure Quatre will be available if you would like him present," she sighed.

Shaking her head, she smiled at the thought of the couple. "What am I going to do with the two of you?"

"Preferably nothing," came the snippy comment. "But, how is the romantic interlude of my favorite vicarious couple?" she cooed through the line.

"Heero's fine, thank you for asking," Relena pointedly sidestepped.

"Oh," Dorothy whined. "Come now. If I make this a couples only soiree you're going to have to dress that man properly and tuck him at your side."

"Considering the place, Heero would probably prefer that," she mumbled. He was not going to be enthused by the idea of being back on Romafeller ground.

"So… it would probably be inappropriate to be escorted by Rich?" Dorothy tried.

"What, are you on a first name basis with a man you've never met?" she snorted before laughing at her 'friend.' "Flirt on your own time; I have an election to win."

* * *

"Ambition is not a vice of little people." - Michel de Montaigne 


	19. Chapter 19

AN: OK, I'm either late updating for last week, or early for this week. I've always been a 'it's half a glass' type of person, so you all can decided for yourselves if this a good thing, or a bad thing. :D

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 19

"Where?" Heero started.

Well, that was a new reaction. Relena was going to have to add that one to her 'Diary of Things I've Gotten Heero to Respond to.' With a smile she nodded, knowing he heard her. "Chateau du Brume Gris. Dorothy's home. The fundraiser party will be hosted by herself and the Marquis Wayridge, whose idea this was apparently."

Either Relena was getting a whole lot better at reading the tiny subtleties of his expressions, or Heero was slowly loosening them up more. He blinked at her a second before a look passed his faced that was the closest thing to an eye-roll she had ever seen out of him. "When?"

"May, possibly June." Was it just her, or had she also learned to answer things like that in the least words possible?

"Is that a good idea?" he finally asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. Also something he rarely did unless she prodded him to.

Shrugging she leaned back in her chair farther, feeling tired already and it was still morning. "No one is quite sure at this point. Our office will have all veto rights on the guest list, which I'm assuming you'll want ahead of time as well." She paused to watch him specifically meet her eyes and nod once. "If we can bring in enough people from all over, it shouldn't be misrepresented as a 'Romafeller' function."

"The Pearls would exploit that," he mildly cautioned.

Her dear Heero was getting to be quite good at politics. With a smile she nodded. "I know. That's why I need a number of Colonial representatives. As many as I can get actually. Dorothy has already said that Quatre will be there in any role we need him in."

Again he nodded as the thought seemed to at least help his thoughts a little.

"We have some time. But I wanted to make you aware of it. It has the Minister's OK, and I trust both Marquis Wayridge and Dorothy enough to be alright with it."

Somehow she didn't think Heero had the same impression but he didn't voice it. "I'll take it under advisement."

Relena couldn't help but chuckle and roll her eyes. Rising, she walked around the desk and he only watched her, not especially suspicious of the action. In the hectic-ness of the past month they had found a way to grow comfortably warm and… couple-ish, with each other in most situations anymore. Ry, Alli and Delano were still a little disoriented at the thought of the two being 'affectionate' but they hadn't gotten another show like that since Christmas.

The three officers had never actually asked… She didn't blame them.

Leaning against the desk in front of him, Relena only smiled. "I didn't figure you'd like this idea."

Looking up at her he seemed to weight that a second. "I don't like anything that opens this many risks against you."

Ah, how would she ever be able to get used his gushing affections?

* * *

"Winner," the phone answered. 

"Quatre, Heero," he stated.

"Well, hello," the man sounded momentarily startled.

Heero leaned against the glass wall of his office, staring down at the plant in the corner that had, for some reason, taken a turn for the worse in the last month. "Can you talk?"

"Just a minute." There was a moment of silence over the line as the man did whatever he felt necessary to keep anyone from overhearing them. "Alright," he came back. "What is it?"

Well, at least he seemed on guard. The one, and only, time he had called Duo the man had babbled on for five minutes before he could get to the point. "What do you know about Dorothy's fundraiser offer?" he asked instead, trying to ease his annoyance down.

"…What fundraiser?"

Not a good sign. "She and Marquis Wayridge have made an offer to host to Relena and the Minister in a formal fundraiser this summer."

There was a notable pause from the line and nothing to indicate that the man had caught on.

Heero only frowned. "Apparently Dorothy made the comment that you'd be there," he tried.

"I will?" Quatre softly started. "Um. Alright," he quickly went on. "I… don't know anything about it actually." There was a note of an embarrassed chuckle in his voice and Heero about sighed. "Dorothy's been a little bit of everywhere recently, she probably forgot to mention it. But, that's fine. What do you need?"

Heero decisively didn't dwell on the thought of two blonds' relationship. "If this goes though, I need a field agent I can trust to take point on it."

"Oh… And I'm guessing that you're obviously not thinking of Dorothy for that position?" he mildly questioned.

"No." Quatre may like her but Heero didn't have to.

"I understand," the other quietly sighed. "I'll gladly do it. Let me walk through the intended set up with Dorothy and I'll get youan analysis."

"Hn."

"Good. How's everything on your end, Heero?" the other turned sociable.

"Aside from this, fine," he answered truthfully. There were way too many variables on Romafeller ground for him to be comfortable with the idea.

There was a polite chuckle from the line. "Don't worry. The place barely counts as hostile anymore. In truth, we probably have more friends there these days than enemies."

Heero wondered just how much time the other former pilot was spending there… "Hn."

Again he laughed. "You'll see," Quatre soothed.

With little more than a grunt for a thank you Heero hung up, almost disgusted with it. If Quatre wasn't watching that woman, who was?

* * *

"Ha! So when do I get my invitation?" There was a vague sound of hands being rubbed together in the background. 

And Dorothy snickered over the line. "Probably as soon as our favorite over-reacter calls in more backup than he needs."

"Well, you sneaky Romafellers can't be trusted," Duo defended.

"So what does that make you?"

"Innocent until proven guilty," he distinctly stated. "So, what do we do in the mean time?"

* * *

"It isn't the Preventer organization that I have trouble with. Quite the opposite. I applaud their efforts, and I believe they are doing a wonderful job at protecting the general public. The trouble that I see is with their grave presence inside the functions of government." 

Rich was trying, but these endless interviews were getting aggravating. How many times did he have to repeat himself? That was it; he was going to start accepting his own appearances from now on instead of letting his uncle throw a list at him every week. At least he got an actual name on a respectable program this time, he supposed.

"Some might say you have a vendetta against Miss Darlian."

And everything stopped. Snapping his full attention back to the hostess of the morning program, he just about blew the whole interview by grinning at the woman. Finally, someone asked a question that—"Not in the least."

Answer first, appreciate a novel question later.

"On the contrary, I greatly admire Miss Darlian. Her work both during and after the war is extremely impressive. My decision to run against her and the Minister, however, is out of respect for her office. I believe she is far too closely involved in some very 'opinionated' projects," he explained.

The hostess, a Miss Lois Donte, didn't seem to bat an eye at the rebuttal. Very pretty brown eyes, hooded under dark lashes that matched the mane of black hair… The woman broke a smirk at him. "Well, if you pardon my saying so, she is a woman, and we do tend to be a little… 'opinionated.'" She chuckled and the rest of the audience with her.

How truly astute. Smiling at the reference he could only give her a hopeless nod. "I don't think I have enough room in the polls to respond to that."

He managed to break the whole room into a laugh for that. Sobering, she nodded with a genuine smile and a twinkle to those hooded eyes. "So you find that you don't think Miss Darlian is fit for her position any longer?"

A trap question. Very nice. "Actually, no. Miss Darlian will probably do a fine job, especially after this and the issues that have been raised to everyone's attention now," he answered honestly. Leaning a bit closer to her though, he met his hostess' eyes. "But I just think I'd do better."

* * *

"Of all the nerve," Relena muttered under her breath as she stared at the little television screen she'd asked to be put into the casual dinning room. She hated watching the news before breakfast, but anymore it was her best defense to get them both in one shot. 

"Hn."

The little monosyllabic hum wasn't helping this morning.

* * *

Relena chuckled at the overly adventurous reporters that were hovering around herself and the Minister as they both stepped off the shuttle in L1 somewhere. The trade summit would give them both some work time and less political time, which was welcome by now. However, it didn't matter where either of them went, they were constantly surrounded. 

"Miss Darlian! Relena!" one shouted out to her, going so far as to use her first name to get her attention.

The others were circling them, trying to push through the mob of camera crews. Heero was right behind her, a covert touch on her inside elbow from time to time so that she was never far from him. She'd gotten used to being pushed through crowds by him. Someday though, she'd rather like to actually take his arm and be official about it.

Seeing as they weren't really moving anyway she nodded towards the man at the side that had screamed for her attention, and the others quieted in both professional courtesy, and the attempt to capture the same response. At least it got them to quiet down.

"Miss Darlain, how do you respond to Richard Pearl's assessment of your office from Lois Donte's program? Have you seen it?" he rapidly fired off at her.

With a laugh that she didn't have to fake, Relena nodded. "Yes, I've seen it. But my response is going to be a little lacking. Most people who think I'm doing a 'fine job' send me fan mail, not show it by running against me."

The little circled crowd laughed at the idea, and the Minister looked back at her with a grin of his own. "The boy's going through an awful lot of work if he's just trying to get a date," the man positively cracked up.

Relena placed a hand over her mouth politely as she laughed, more at Mr. Wellington saying that than at the idea.

Oh, she hoped Heero didn't take offense to this.

* * *

"Trying to get a date?" the younger man was disbelieving. "She wishes," Rich bitterly muttered. 

His uncle was still laughing for all he was worth behind him.

* * *

"What's this about dating this Pearl guy?" Hilde sounded completely confused. "My cousin even e-mailed me with a cartoon about the two of you on a dating show. Which was really funny," the woman cracked. 

Relena stopped in her tracks, her mobile phone still attached to her ear. Two weeks since that innocent little comment and she was still getting teased about it. "What?"

Around her, her four guardians were going on with whatever they were doing to keep themselves occupied during the break in the final summit meetings. Relena couldn't care in the least. She was ready to go home. One more day, and then an interview the day after that and then a week's vacation of just normal working hours.

It sounded so nice.

"Oh, it's hilarious!" the other gushed. "I sent it to you too," Hilde giggled. "Just don't blame me, I had nothing to do with it."

"Tell me you're kidding," Relena shook her head in half-amazement at the idea. Stiffly walking over to the corner of the suite's common area that she'd begun to call home, she turned on her laptop set on the desk.

"Nope. But come on, give me the scoop here. I thought you were all madly in love with Heero? This guy doesn't have a shot, right? I mean… he talks too much for your type," the phone snickered.

Turning a death glare at the phone for a second Relena figured she had spent just a little too much time around Heero recently. "Yes," she answered.

"Yes, what?" Hilde tried to clarify.

"All of it," Relena bitterly stated. Getting the screen up she checked her private account and found the message from Hilde, complete with an attachment. It wasn't until she'd hit the play button that she realized that her conversation had drawn a crowd.

Ry and Alli were right beside her, both giving her slightly worried looks, which she brushed off as being fine as the file loaded. Heero and Delano were still seated in their chairs, but both were watchful of her as well.

"Champagne Agenda AC 198!" the video started full screen as music started in the background.

"Oh, you're not watching it now are you!" Hilde squeaked in her ear, cutting herself off from whatever story the woman was relating.

Relena ignored it as four crudely drawn caricatures of herself, the Minister, and both Pearls paraded across the screen. The little characters began to sing as they started a song in fairly accurate voices. Mr. Welington and Melton Pearl began their spots on a golf course, where they proceeded to sing about how they were once friends and now…

It turned a little violent when the cartoons began beating each other with golf clubs. Melton Pearl finally got hit on the head and then rolled down the hill considering he was drawn as a circle with tiny little stubby arms and legs.

She stared at the screen in half-horror but still fought against the smile that wanted to come up at the peppy little sing-along. Ry and Alli were snickering behind her, obviously trying not to laugh.

From the golf course shot the music rose again and the scene changed to a room where Richard was marching around singing instead.

_Nothing like my uncle, plain as you can see,  
__strong and smart and witty,  
__it helps to be six foot, three!_

The little figure of him puffed out his chest and gave an inhumanly large smile with all perfect white teeth sparkling.

_My standards are exceptional, the women fall 'round me,  
__my waiting prize is higher,  
__going in for roy-al-ty!_

He walked around as little women cartoons fell around him, until he brandishes a rose and drops to a knee before a rock tower of some sort at the side of the screen, striking a 'Romeo' pose.

Her own figure hopped down from the tower off screen, wearing her hair up in a crown and the puffy white dress and sash she had worn when she'd made her introduction as Queen of the World.

_Ah-uh._ The character shook her head before quickly bashing Richard over the head with a scepter of some sort. His figure fell below screen and instead there was only a bubbling of little hearts coming from his place.

The scene moved as, in a flash, she pulled off the dress to be attired, like the opening, in a little pink pantsuit with her hair in a ponytail. Her cartoon figure walked off across a background of the ESUN flag.

_The tragic past has taught me much, plain as you can see,  
__weepy eyed and patron pride,  
__this position is now for me!_

The little thing went through the motions of each phrase until she dropped on top of a desk with her hands balled on her hips. The desk displayed a nameplate for her father, just before the cartoon kicked it off the screen.

Moving on, the background changed into an entire collection of Preventer-attired figures. In the front, the drawings even depicted Commander Une, and poorly detailed figures of Heero, Ry, Alli and Delano.

_Innocent and sweet you think, don't forget my army,  
__I'm cute and smart with lots of heart,  
__and we can join my bear for tea!_

Dropping the whole lot of them, she ended up sitting at a table with all the Preventer collection in the background holding cups, complete with large sweat drops, as she toasted with a teddy bear seated across from her in tea-party fashion.

The segment stopped as it faded out with a te-he type giggle from her.

"Hey, we're famous!" Ry cheered, obviously picking out himself and the others in the show as well. Alli was holding onto the back of Relena' chair, probably trying to stay upright as she fought the giggles.

"Uh… Relena?" Hilde asked through the phone.

She still didn't answer as the shocked, slightly mental-looking, smile was permanently glued in place.

Another scene opened as the music faded to reveal some dating show type of set up, obviously what Hilde had been mentioning. Richard sat at the corner and she sat in the middle of two other, scantly clad, supermodel type women in a box. The cartoon was seated straight, with her hands in her lap and her little feet crossed, still in the pantsuit.

"Bachlorettes," Richard started. "When I become the next Vice Foreign Minister, what will your favorite color be?"

"Blue," the first said.

Without missing a beat the mini-Relena raised a hand to her heart and closed her eyes. "Peace."

The last one just giggled unintelligibly.

Which apparently got on the nerves of her little figure. With a snap of her 'fingers' three unknown Preventer types sprinted on stage, wearing sunglasses and earpieces, picked up the number three woman and carried the hapless thing away. The Relena's image went back to smiling cutely.

"Um… Bachlorettes," Richard went on. "After I become Vice Foreign Minister, what would we do on a first date?"

The first in the line shrugged. "Dinner and movie."

The little Relena narrowed her eyes at the woman and again snapped her 'fingers.' This time the three Preventers rushed in, shot her full of holes until her little red lips fell off and then hauled away the swiss-cheese remains. Then cartoon-Relena raised her hand to her heart again and profoundly said, "Peace."

The little Richard character had been bubbling hearts at each of her responses and now rushed forward to try to hug her. With a horrified expression, mini-Relena squeaked as the mini-Richard character produced so many hearts that he was covered with them.

Casually little Preventer Heero came up and tapped him on the shoulder, as Ry, Alli and Del came up behind her. Shaking the hearts off, Richard looked up from his kneeling position as Heero handed him a lit bomb and then the five walked off. Someone had done their homework, because the Relena figure walked happily away in the middle of the group's usual security formation.

The bomb went off with a 'pow' and it only left a black, charred looking thing of Richard with two eyes still blinking out of it.

And Ry and Alli behind her both broke out laughing so hard her chair wiggled as they both leaned on it for support. Relena sat, very quietly snickering, wondering if she should be crying instead.

The closing segment again showed Mr. Pearl and Mr. Wellington chasing each other around the capital building with golf clubs, both shouting, actual but mismatched, speech quotes at each other.

"That was great!" Ry cheered, as the credits scrolled up the screen.

"That was awful," Relena refuted in a whisper, not having a clue what to make of it yet.

"Play it again!" Alli laughed.

"Hello…?" Hilde called from the phone still glued to her ear.

* * *

"This seems like a change of heart in you, Miss Darlian," the gentleman leaned casually in his chair across from her. 

"I've taken more time to reflect on the issue," Relena nodded a little. "A first response isn't always the best one, and I can admit to that. I have been to see several of those involved since, and I want to understand them properly."

Heero stood behind the camera crews between them and the audience seating. He wasn't exactly sure whether to feel proud that she'd taking his little disagreement to heart, or ashamed that he'd influenced her decisions. It wasn't his place. But at the same time, it was something that Relena on her own didn't understand.

The ex-soldiers that had caused the attempted hostage taking in L2 most of two months ago were still behind bars, and would remain there through their sentences. But the understanding of their actions was something that would take the entire world time to come to terms with.

Relena was getting there.

Leaning against the raised level of the audience seating, he watched her more than he listened to the interview. It was the same items. A few new policies, and the ever-present response to the Pearls' election bid.

Thankfully most serious reporters weren't taking the alleged romance attempt seriously, despite the… cartoon.

Watching these interviews was getting more distracting these days though. Relena had pulled the sides of her hair back into a barrette today but left the rest down. A lock of it draped over one shoulder. A high collared blouse peeked through her pink suit jacket, which he thought she wore more for spite now than anything, but she wore a skirt with it today instead of pants. The skirt covered just over her knees as she sat, her calves visible, and her ankles crossed to tuck under her chair as usual.

It was taking a little getting used to for him. The idea of recognizing her as far more than a charge, or even a 'friend.' He didn't feel prepared for the hold that she had claimed on him. But that wasn't a particularly new feeling. For a year now, he had done nothing but try to get used to these ever-growing changes.

Each time he thought he'd figured something out, he was reminded that this was not a static relationship. Relena always seemed to be a step ahead of him. Perhaps he was just getting more trusting with following her.

Watching her here, like this… she was beautiful. Classical, modest but still warm and approachable. The same things that had made her so popular in her little high school so long ago.

It was the idea of being attracted to her. It was not a foreign concept, but it was one that he had spent very little time in life concerned about. There were far too many life and death issues to displace ideas brought up by physical hormones. He wasn't stupid enough to give them any sway over more necessary concerns.

Movement caught his eye from the side and he turned to watch Alli move from her designated position at the end of the audience seating, watching the crowd behind him. Snapping his thoughts over to his instincts he took a good look over the stage, finding nothing amiss, before he moved away from the raised ledge to look up into the audience towards where Alli was casually moving.

A woman stood in the aisle near the middle of the section. This time Heero specifically noted the camera in her hands. The same thing again?

As Alli made her way up the steps to the far aisle on an intercept course, the thought narrowed Heeros eyes as he took a step out to get a clearer look at the woman.

It couldn't be…

But as soon as a nervously guilty smile hit her face as Alli closed the distance, he was sure.

Snapping back he found Ry and Delano both watching, half bored with the situation, down his other side along the same row as himself. Motioning quickly he pointed out Ry and motioned for him to get into the operations room and have them break the show. As soon as he knew the man understood, Heero quickly moved for the aisle, not wanting to alert the woman he was coming.

Something was wrong.

Relena was almost cut off mid-sentence as the host stated they were taking a break. This was a live feed and would be more imperative that that step was taken.

Heero rounded to begin up the aisle towards the woman as well. He watched with a sudden amount of dread filling the pit of his stomach as Alli and the same, exactly woman had the same exchange that he'd had with her months ago in a different colony cluster.

But as soon as he stepped up the makeshift stairs to the aisle of the audience seating he stopped, the feeling that it wasn't right taking hold of him as he turned again specifically to watch Relena. She merely watched from her seat, cautious but unconcerned.

That was when the backdrop curtain behind her opened up and two of the stagehands rushed out towards her.

The reaction was instantaneous as Heero jumped back down the steps again and sprinted towards her through the camera equipment, knocking anyone out of his way in the process.

Relena must have seen the curtain move from the corner of her vision and turned back in time to see the men rush at her. Jumping to her feet she moved quickly to place her chair between herself and the attackers, offering little, if any, protection.

Heero gnashed his teeth as he ran, knowing they would reach her before he did if she didn't do something.

And the first man pulled a gun.

* * *

"The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." – Shirley MacLaine 

AN: Alright, alright. I know the little video was a total rip-off of Jib-Jabs, but you guys should know by now that if I don't get my dumb ideas out of my head I'll explode. If you guys have seen the little chibi comics at the back of the original mangas that was the style I was going for. :)

Sorry. I usually try to save my bad sense of humor and sadistic tendencies for "Revelations" but I guess that crossed over this week. At first, I thought about leaving you with an all happy little chapter but that just seemed out of character for these two… te-he.

I realize that the majority of this was written in a slightly odd mindset, so flame me if you hate this, and if I get enough I may someday re-do this. (but probably not)


	20. Chapter 20

AN: To my beloved reviewers. Honestly, you guys keep me going:) Some of you have noticed that my attraction to this story has not only waned but… fallen off the map practically. Now, I wouldn't just let a story die, heck I want to know the ending as much as you guys do, but I just want to say that every time I'm really feeling down about the whole thing, it's you sweet people who pick me right back up again and get me to write more. :D

Also. Special warm, squeezing-hug, thanks to Idiotic Owl! Thank you so much for your review, and the bit of info. I totally never understood that. I love it!

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 20

The backdrop curtain behind her opened up and two of the stagehands rushed out towards Relena. The reaction was instantaneous as Heero jumped back down the steps again and sprinted towards her.

Relena must have noticed the curtain move and turned back to see the men rush at her. Jumping to her feet she moved quickly to place her chair between herself and the attackers, offering little, if any, protection.

Heero gnashed his teeth as he ran, knowing they would reach her before he did if she didn't do something.

And the first man pulled a gun.

He didn't have time to draw his sidearm as he dodged through the equipment and panicked workers. His concentration was on her alone as the two men closed in. A white-hot fear burned inside him so fierce that he could feel it even through the pure calculation of instinct and training that had take him over once more.

From the corner of his eye his sixth battle sense caught an advancing movement only a second before a body ran itself into his side from around a camera stand, their momentums crossing and sending both careening for the floor.

Heero didn't have time for secondary attackers.

The second of warning was all he needed to position himself as he grabbed the person by an arm and their shirt as the two hit the floor. Rolling, Heero hit first, using the hard landing and pure, adrenalin enhanced strength to fling the person off of him again as they continued to roll.

Pushing the body to the floor, hard enough to knock their wind out, Heero rounded right side up. Using the leverage to gain his feet again he pushed off and continued sprinting for Relena.

He was just in time to watch her seem to snap out of her shock. As the first man with the gun reached an arm out to grab at her, Relena hiked her skirt a couple inches and kicked the large folding chair she'd been sitting on directly into the man's legs.

Dodging, she hopped aside as the man spilled to the floor.

The second wasn't close enough to the first to be caught in the same trap though. Relena saw it. Out of options and time, there was nothing left but to run for it. Spinning, she started away from the man, but he already had the advantage over her.

"Relena!" Heero barked, closing in on her.

The other got there first. With a vicious grab, the man snagged her arm before she made it more than a couple feet, yanking her back with a yelp of pain she stumbled back into him. Disoriented, she tried to flee again, struggling with her captor.

And the man did something that he may not live to regret.

Pulling her back, he began to backpedal towards the curtains again, dragging her bodily with him. When she resisted, he spun her around him to push her in front, releasing her arm only long enough to deliver an audible backhanded slap across her face.

An audible sound that echoed in Heero's brain as she reeled back from the assault. His vision tunneled in on the man as he once again grabbed at her to push her forward.

He never made it.

Heero launched himself, sprinting full tilt at the man, catching his arms as he tackled him to the ground. The brawny man fell with him, flipping them over and forcing Heero down under him as the two landed.

Rolling on impact, the man would never know what hit him. Getting a knee to the gut, the attacker was flipped back over. Heero only got one hand free, and it was the only thing that spared the man from a broken neck. It only took a second before the expertly placed hit to the temple left the man's body limp under him.

"Heero!"

The warning wasn't necessary; he could feel the other man bearing down on them. Turning he saw the first attacker had gotten himself unwrapped from the chair and was aiming the gun at him now as Heero half-knelt over the body.

"Drop your weapon!"

Delano's command was wasted on the assailant, but it was enough of a distraction to turn his eyes, and gun, away from Heero just long enough. Spinning around, he jumped more than ran the couple feet to Relena, grapping her around the shoulders and waist. Twisting her around he let his poor footing go and hauled both of them to the ground, bodily forcing her in front of him and away from the gun.

The shot went off before either's knees hit the floor.

Heero's sidearm finally cleared the holster. It was cocked with the safety off before he leveled it back behind him at the suspect. The shot was aimed at the second place that flashed through his mind.

Instead of squarely in the chest, the man took the hit to his right forearm at point blank range. His gun was useless and the man stumbled backwards, incapacitated by pain for the seconds he had before Ry bodily threw him to the floor, his handcuffs already out.

"Del!" Relena cried, still clamped to his chest with one arm.

Snapping his attention up, he found his officer's body sprawled out on the floor about ten feet away. Their suspect had obviously thought Delano, armed and aiming, was more of a threat than Heero had been, and hadn't hesitated to shoot him first.

Struggling against his steely grip, Relena was far less concerned with her own condition than she was with his.

Heero didn't let her go. Throwing his gaze around the room the whole place was in a panic. The audience was fighting to get through the back doors. Alli was still in the aisle, the woman who had drawn their attention was face down on the steps, her hands handcuffed behind her.

The man that had jumped him beside the camera equipment was clutching at his head but sluggishly trying to get to his feet. "Ry," Heero called, his voice low and monotone. Releasing Relena, he took his own set of handcuffs out of his back holster. Looking up at his officer, he tossed the cuffs over and nodded to the suspect trying to stand to his feet and move towards the exits in the audience section.

Little less than shell-shocked, Ry nodded and stiffly moved to the other suspect.

Relena was already to her feet and was stripping her jacket off as she rushed to Delano's body. The microphone that was still pinned to her lapel tore away as she collected the material into a ball and dropped to her knees at his side, Heero staying exactly on her heels.

Rounding to the other side of the fallen officer, he moved his phone from his hip and dialed in an automatic all-call for local backup. It would be the fastest way to get an ambulance here.

Relena quickly checked the man's pulse and let out a heavy breath as she obviously found what she wanted. The shot wasn't planned, or particularly effective, hitting low into his left hip.

With his own quick understanding of the injury Heero check him off as fine and let Relena press her jacket into the wound to slow the blood loss.

Standing purposefully to his feet, Heero squared his shoulders, facing the crowd of people still trying to claw through the doorways at the back of the room. The remainder of the camera crew was still in shock and most hadn't even attempted to flee yet.

Sweeping his eyes over the room, he waited.

No other threats emerged.

Alli and Ry rounded the room up on his orders. Ignoring the audience that was fleeing, he barked out that the surrounding show's personnel were to stay put. The host of the show was the last to un-ball himself from the corner of the stage he had taken up refuge in and practically crawled through the cameras to join the other crew in the pit in front of the raised audience area.

Heero didn't move. He stood, guarding over Relena behind him who was still nursing Delano's wound until the man groaned out in pain, coming conscious again. "Del, hush," Relena soothed to him, low and far more calm than he expected. "It's alright. You'll be fine. Just be still."

The groan sounded again, breathing going erratic in the man as he woke in blistering pain. Heero still stood in front of them; knowing Relena's words were going to do little good. The man may be conscious, but he wasn't truly responsive yet.

Shouting from the hallway alerted Heero that local reinforcements were here and were beginning to deal with the escaping crowd. One of the other three must have made the call sooner than he had.

But that was all he needed. Turning away finally he moved back to Relena's side. Placing an arm around her lower back, he stayed with her, monitoring Delano's responses as she continued to keep pressure on the wound.

Still, she soothingly talked to him, never raising her voice. Never betraying the cold fear that Heero found in her eyes, even though she didn't look up at him.

By the time local police and a few other Preventer officers came through the doors, he had to forcefully tug her away from his side. Real paramedics moved to him and to the first suspect whose arm was still bleeding heavily behind his back.

It was like pulling her nails out to get her to give up her task. He understood why.

Pulling her up to her feet, he wrapped a supportive arm around her waist as he pulled her away with him. Once out of the way of the scene, he turned her around to face him. Timidly she met his eyes and he pulled her in close, wrapping her in an iron embrace.

He didn't trust himself to be gentle enough with her right now, so he just held on to her. And gradually she relaxed into him, moving to wrap her arms around him as well. Turning her face, she broke eye contact and slouched to lay her head lightly against his shoulder. She seemed to continue her monitoring of Delano's condition from there.

Heero kept his eyes on the rest of the room.

* * *

"The shot missed anything vital, but it did crack his pelvic bone. He'll need to stay immobile for two weeks, possibly a little longer depending on how the treatments go. After that, we should have him walking again," the doctor reported.

Heero nodded, taking the medical report from her. "And the suspects?"

"The one with the gun shot wound will need to have a couple of surgeries to have prosthetic replacement of a number of ligaments and tissue. He will probably regain full use of it in time. One came in with a moderate concussion and a couple bruised ribs. The other is bruised, but checked through fine after he woke up."

Again he nodded. No glimmer of emotion entering his features.

* * *

"Bring her home. I already have two capable field agents on the case."

His eyes narrowed as Commander Une's voice came over his line.

He didn't get the chance to refute her before her tone changed, softening slightly. "Heero, if this is a conspiracy, I want you with her. You're her best defense. And regardless, they already know who you are. Let someone else handle it."

Once again the cold of calculated logic settled through his chest. "Acknowledged."

* * *

Relena was still in Delano's room with the other two by the time Heero got his orders and had, grudgingly, handed off anything he could tell to the two agents from Headquarters who would be in charge of the case.

It irritated him. Absolutely nagged at the finer parts of his training to leave anything half finished. But Une was right. He had his place and it was at Relena's side.

Besides, the most rational side of his conscience knew he was in no position to interrogate the attackers at the moment. Two of them were lucky to be alive as it was. All he needed was one more excuse to have them piss him off.

Even Heero wasn't sure he could be responsible for his actions if that happened. It was a rare case.

Stopping at the door to Delano's room, Heero purposefully pushed those thoughts aside. Even if this group was working alone, the potential for copycats was still a concern. Reasons behind it could be anything by this point, the election not withstanding.

Opening the door softly, he seemed to interrupt a collective group of chuckling as the four looked up to see him enter. They were all still a little on edge, and he didn't mind in the least.

"Do we have orders, Sir?" Alli asked carefully.

Closing the door behind him securely, he nodded. Finding the woman's dark brown eyes, he realized that he should be proud of her. Heero had worried at the start about her hand-to-hand effectiveness, but she had displayed her newly learned skills today better than his expectations. "We're taking her home," he responded with a nod.

Searching out Relena, he found her on Delano's other side, seated in the chair next to his shoulder as they surrounded the bed. She only gave him a nod of understanding, her eyes almost overly calm now that they had time to reflect on it.

She had taken her hair down completely now, probably a small effort to try to hide the dark bruise covering her right cheekbone. A mark that her assailant had nearly forfeited his life for.

"That's it?" Ry asked. The taller man was leaned against the wall with one arm slung over Alli's shoulders beside him. "We just hole up and wait?"

"We've been removed the case," he explained, realizing his voice probably came across more icy than he had intended because no one moved to comment about it.

"Well, I guess I'm assuming that they aren't going to let me go with you," Delano mildly interjected into the silence, his focus on the blanket that covered him.

"The hospital will be arranging a transfer to Central Memorial after you finish the mending treatments," Heero responded. Delano would be left in capable hands while he healed the worst of the injury. After that he would be moved to the Capital and a couple blocks from Preventer Headquarters as was customary for an officer. "You'll be off roster at least a month."

There was a mild cringe from the older man that Heero didn't miss.

"You just focus on getting better," Relena added. "I promise to call and bug you."

She got a group of smiles for the comment.

It took a while longer before the group began to say their goodbyes. Ry and Alli finally slipped out of the room to wait in the hall. Relena took the chance to squeeze Delano's hand and made a teary-eyed thank you to her officer who shook it off with the same to her.

Heero only stayed out of the way against the wall beside the door. He didn't intend to let her out of his sight more than he had to, but he knew Relena needed a little time to cope with his injury. When she gave him a last smile and turned away he was ready to escort her out.

"Agent Yuy?" Delano stopped him. Turning back, he found his officer's expression far more determined. "May I have a word, Sir?"

He didn't figure he could refuse the man. Nodding for Relena to go on, he specifically made sure the other two were waiting for her personally, and closed the door again.

"Sir, I feel like I need to apologize," Delano started without any prodding. "If I had reacted sooner the suspect wouldn't have gotten a shot off. If he hadn't targeted me, and had…" he trailed out, still staring at the blanket in front of him. "I've left you a man short at the worst possible time."

Heero stood for a second, recognizing the selfless training of a soldier in him more than ever before. The apology fell on deaf ears though. He had no intentions of reprimanding him. He was right, if his reactions would have been faster, he wouldn't be lying here.

But Heero was also very sure that had the suspect truly targeted either himself or Relena instead, Delano would have identified it immediately as a threat and wouldn't have hesitated. The shock of having the gun move to himself was more than likely what stalled his trigger.

It was a typical reaction in those that hadn't seen their share of combat yet. They were trained in this position far more as defenders. Self-preservation was sometimes an afterthought missed by most seasoned instructors.

Stepping forward he got Delano to finally focused on him as Heero placed a hand on the other's shoulder. "You won't make the mistake again," he simply stated.

Delano nodded.

* * *

It was back doors only all the way home. The hospital, the spaceport, the Preventer landing field, her own home. Relena had never seen more groups of hapless reporters in her life. Thankfully it was completely forbidden for her to make a public statement yet.

She was still wrapped in Heero's jacket as the group made it into her estate again. It was the closest thing she had to the feel of him. They hadn't had a moment of quiet time since he had pulled her securely out of the network station's building.

He had taken over piloting them back in Delano's absence. Even on the shuttle, he had only slipped his jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders. Giving her a gentle look for reassurance, she assumed, before heading to the cockpit.

She hadn't followed. Figuring they all needed time to assimilate what had happened, she left each to their own thoughts.

Ry and Alli had taken turns braving the cockpit and Heero's solid quiet. Alli had taken most of it, probably mildly chatting at him to hear anything other than the instruments during the flight. Ry had settled beside her, and babbled endlessly on most any topic that seemed to come to mind.

Relena hadn't minded. The two were trying to keep themselves occupied, and obviously they both knew Heero and her well enough by now to know that if left on their own, there wouldn't be a word spoken.

To be perfectly honest, she didn't want to be left alone anyway. She felt terribly sorry for Delano right now with no one with him, and the nagging ache that she was responsible was biting into her harshly.

More than anything she wanted to know why this happened at all. She wanted to refute it, openly and honestly. She didn't want to hide away while someone else solved her problems.

Heero was feeling that too, she was sure.

As soon as they were through the door, he had marched off, taking the stairs two at a time up to the command center. A call for all personnel came over the house's intercom system a few moments later.

This was just the beginning.

* * *

The absolute gentleness of his touch was almost startling after all of this.

Relena still had the feeling of arms, like steel around her, imprinted on her mind from the moment he grabbed her during the attack. She would never forget that feeling.

Then he'd moved, with lightning precision. She remembered clearly watching in horror as she almost sighted down the barrel of the gun in his hand with him as she pressed against him. She saw with morbid fascination as the gun hesitated for less than an instant with a tiny adjustment before the trigger was pulled.

Perfect. The shot went straight through the gunman's arm.

That was when she turned away, catching something else directly over Heero's shoulder and had cried at the sight of Delano on his back a little ways away.

Now, that was all over. She was safe and home again. The case was going on without them. Ry and Alli had finally left, heading for home, his arm still around her shoulders as they went.

Now, it was her turn to clamp Heero into her arms.

With no warning or words she moved from her chair and to him on the couch, wrapping herself into him and nearly ending up in his lap. She didn't care. Her solid resolve had not only wavered by now, but was beginning to fail. Relena was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, but she didn't dare close them.

She could handle being a target. It was something that she carried in the back of her head at any given time. But having Delano be shot for her… It wasn't right.

Relena forced the thoughts back as she struggled to somehow get closer to her love, squeezing her eyes shut against the pain of the thoughts that she'd been fighting all day.

That was when Heero wrapped her into him, so soft that it almost didn't feel like him. He was usually always gentle with her, but this wasn't timid. It was just… tender. Relena rested her cheek against his shoulder, but a hand softly moved to her neck and lifted her chin so that she looked him in the eye.

It felt like months, not hours, since she'd seen his eyes without the hard precision that had always characterized him to her before. Their soft expression and the touch of worry held in them now quieted her more than anything else in the world could.

But his eyes shifted, and Relena knew he was still scrutinizing the bruise on her cheek. Carefully, his fingers brush her hair back from the area, so soft they couldn't have possibly hurt the swollen area.

Letting his fingers caress over her ear and into her hair, his eyes returned to hers before, almost hesitantly, he leaning into her farther, stalling before his lips could find hers. Relena registered the concern. 'Afraid he'll hurt me,' she mentally decided.

She wasn't in any state to let a little bruise stand between them. Closing the distance herself, she didn't regret it. His arm tightened to hold her securely to him, and his other hand wandered childishly through her hair.

She needed him to not let her go. To quietly ease away the ache of guilt in her. To reassure her that they would all be alright.

Heero managed to do it all by simply staying there with her.

* * *

"Well, the good thing about all of this is now the whole Sphere knows who they're going to piss off by taking a shot at ya."

"Duo!" Hilde thunked him on the back of the head from her position leaning over his shoulder. The two had left four messages on her machine before Relena had even gotten home, along with more than a few of her other worried friends. "You are the most insensitive person," she huffed at him.

Relena chuckled at the two over the vid-line, finding their banter helpfully normal. "It's alright."

"Anyway," Duo sidestepped, "you know if you need anything you've got it, right? I know Heero's going to go all commando on ya for a while, but seriously, if he gets word of anything, tell him we want to know."

She understood the implications in that offer, even if it was out of Duo's cheery expression. Nodding solemnly she offered them a weak smile back. "Thank you. But everything's fine. We're just waiting for it to blow over a little more."

Her two friends nodded. "OK. Hey, Quatre says hi too. He's in the middle of the Sahara, or the Goby, or where ever with the Mags, probably dumping sand out of his shorts. But you know he'd be there in a heartbeat too if you call."

Relena laughed at the vid-screen and nodded again. "I appreciate it."

"You take care," Hilde put in sternly. "Take a vacation and let the Preventers handle the bad guys."

"As if I have a choice," she sighed.

"Is he sleeping outside your door yet?" Duo smirked, gaining a glare from his girlfriend that he shrugged at her for.

"Across the hall," Relena confirmed, only half-amused and wondering how Duo knew.

"Guy's got it bad for you, beautiful," he winked.

Hilde only giggled, and Relena could only roll her eyes. "We'll see how long that lasts when the press eats through this," she sighed.

* * *

'To Serve and Protect. Vice Minister Under More Than Preventer Care?'

The photo was all too clear. It was splashed all over the Earth Sphere by now.

Relena Darlian, Vice Foreign Minister, was cradled against the chest of her security mission commander, Preventer Special Agent Heero Yuy. Relena's focus was obviously on something else, an expression of worried resolve on her face as her head lay visibly against his shoulder. Heero, expressively as cold and hard as he had ever been, watched outward as well. Focused, he appeared more like an assassin than a defender, especially with is sidearm still in hand behind her back.

'The Vice Minister has held no public audiences since her attempted abduction. Sources say that she is resting and being carefully monitored by Preventer forces as the case remains open as to the identities of her assailants. No one has yet to comment on the demanded questions for information on the relationship between the Vice Minister and Special Agent Yuy.'

'Minister Wellington has called for patience each time he has allowed questions, and reports that Darlian received only minor injuries during the attack. The condition of Darlian's security officer, Lieutenant Delano Ather, that was shot in the line of duty, has been stated as being good with hospitalization required but no life threatening injuries. Information on the suspects is classified until further investigation is completed.'

'The tape from the interview program that Darlian was filming has been circulated through media groups for three days, shots have popped up continually and the public is reeling for information from the closed mouthed Foreign Ministry Department.'

"That tape should have never gotten out," Marquis Wayridge frowned lightly down at the newspaper folded on his desk. "This will makes things… difficult."

"It was unavoidable," she soothed, sipping at her tea in the chair opposite him.

Shifting, the elder man gave the young woman before him a curious look. "So it's true?"

Dorothy Catalonia mildly raised her eyes to meet his, her infamous smirk rising easily. "Of course it is."

With a sigh, the man placed his hands behind his back and turned to gaze out at the bright afternoon through the windows. "I had hoped the election would be over before we dealt with something like this."

"There's nothing to deal with," she softly refuted, calm beyond all reasoning for her position as Relena's friend.

"What do you mean?" he slowly eyed the impeccably proper Lady before him.

Again Dorothy met his eyes, the cool gray-violet shaded in the interior lighting. "She won't deny it."

The Marquis started. "What?"

Smiling, she lowered her cup to the desk in front of her. "She won't lie to cover it up."

"It would be nothing at all. She was in a dangerous situation and was simply being comforted by a friend," he supplied.

"Marquis, you know Relena," she advised. "If they press her about their relationship, she'll confess to it."

"It?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I do suppose that she'll have to figure out what to call it first though," she hummed to herself. Leaning over she placed her elbows onto the front of the desk, lacing her fingers together and wistfully closing her eyes as she laid her chin against her hands. "They are truly cute. A princess and her knight."

He watched her a moment, wondering at the lack of concern over a spill like this. It wasn't like the calculating woman to take failure of this kind so… "You have a plan," he gladly accused, turning fully back to her.

Reopening her eyes, she smiled up at him once more. "Even the playing field."

With a confused look the Marquis sat back down in his chair and leaned back, watching her. "We are not supposed to be involved with the election bid."

"It doesn't matter," her eyes narrowed. "The deeper the press digs on this relationship, the more interested they are going to get in our precious Agent Yuy himself. And that, dear Marquis, is a grave we can't have anyone uncovering."

With a sigh the man considered it. "Leave them focusing on the couple, not the man."

"Couples," Dorothy corrected, scooting back again. Opening her attaché case beside her chair, she pulled out another newspaper. Just a gossip rag, it would typically hold no real case. However, in the hands of this particular woman, it could be poison.

Tossing the thing down on the desk, Marquis Wayridge scrutinized the heading looking up at him.

'Election Hopeful Sways Media Giant.'

"Richard Pearl and Lois Donte?" Picking it up he looked at the innocent, incidental pictures that this publication had determined to mean something. "Truth or fiction?" he asked.

"Does it matter?" Once again, she picked up her cup and raised it to her lips. "If the media is determined to take a bite out of someone, my task is to make sure it's not their hides."

Nodding, he decided they could do no more. Raising the first paper over the top of the other one, he sat and curiously stared at the picture. "Who would have thought?"

There was a merry little giggle from the Lady.

* * *

"I may be compelled to face danger, but never fear it, and while our soldiers can stand and fight, I can stand and feed and nurse them." – Clara Barton.

AN: For Christmas you get a building blown up. For St. Valentine's Day you get someone shot… what is wrong with me? Oh well, I'll hope you will accept my humble gift to you, my sweet readers. :)

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." – Unknown.


	21. Chapter 21

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 21

"Oh, my…" Sally trailed out as she got out of her car. Pulling her sunglasses off she stared around her at the mob of people congesting the street and forcing her to park two blocks away.

Walking slowly through the crowded sidewalk, she caught groups of people swarming around. Coming and going, messages and banners held high by some. It was like a street parade except that the pedestrians were trying to keep clear of the crawling traffic that managed to slide by.

Relena's residence had been turned into not only a media reporter's camp out, but also one of the largest crowds of supporters that Sally had ever seen. The, mostly decorative, iron fence that surrounded the property line was littered with signs, notes, letters, gifts, teddy bears, flowers and candles. Anything you could think of was piled in a heap all along the sidewalk in front of her estate.

The crowd knew no race or creed or age. A good-sized group of schoolgirls sang from one part of the area, doing fairly good at a couple popular songs as Sally continued to push her way past people towards the front gates.

But as soon as she made her way towards the on guard Preventer officer with the house security, the press reporters had spotted her uniform jacket. She was literally surrounded in seconds, questions firing at her for desperate information on what she knew about Relena's condition or anything else related to the case.

Sally knew very well that any sound-bite she gave them would be used, so she kept her mouth completely shut, only giving a polite smile as she was jostled around trying to get through. Finally one of the security officers grabbed her elbow and hauled her through the walking gate, closing it tightly behind her.

"Sorry, Ma'am," he apologized for the rough handling once she was through.

"It's alright. How long has it been like this?" she asked, casting another look over the crowd.

"Gets bigger every day," he confessed, warily eyeing the reporters that were still trying to crowd the gate.

"Wonderful," she sighed to herself. Giving the officer a smile of thanks she took off for the house at a brisk walk. It was too cold out here for her anyway.

Getting through the front doors, she was a little surprised to find Heero standing at one of the front windows beside it, watching the crowd as well. "You made it through," he commented without turning away from the view.

"Barely," she agreed stepping over to his side and looking out as well. "We're going to have to break this fast or it's going to get out of hand."

Sally shivered under her jacket, but she wasn't sure if it was the outside temperature or the cold that she felt physically come off of the man beside her.

* * *

"How do I possibly get them to go home?" Relena asked, worriedly frowning at the throng of people outside the front fence. "It's freezing out there."

For three days she had stayed out of all public eye. No comments, no appearances, not even a written statement. The flock of people outside of her estate was one thing, but there were similar supportive demonstrations going on in front of Preventer Headquarters and the Capital building as well. And the sheer amount of outpouring support and well wishes from every colony and Earthen providence was… amazing.

"They're in for the duration," Sally noted. "Commander Une is ready to make a declaration that the case has been completed and closed, whether it is or not, just to calm everyone down."

Relena turned back to face her, still noting that Heero hadn't moved from his place leaned against the sitting room's doorway. "That's not going to fix this," she refuted, waving a hand towards the window and the view beyond.

"She also wants you to make an official appearance and statement. Something remote from the Capital pressroom. We say that you're going back to work, but will be taking touring slowly for a while."

That was the best news she'd heard in days. "Wonderful. When?"

With a glace over to Heero, Sally shrugged. "Whenever you're ready I guess."

"I'll do it tomorrow then," she stated. "It should be easy enough to round up enough network reporters to film the presentation on short notice." They'd be fighting each other over the chance.

"We have to get you out of here first," Heero reminded her.

Relena swallowed and looked out at the people out on the street. "If Commander Une makes an announcement that I'll have a statement to make, it should help."

"I agree," Sally added. "Une already has a conference set up for this afternoon. She'll be willing to do that, I'm sure."

She nodded to herself. Relena didn't care what she had to say, she just wanted out of here and out of this mess. The press was running wild with accusations.

"You know… this isn't really my place," Sally started in again. Relena turned back to find she had risen to her feet and was headed for the door. "But you two may need to…" she paused and glanced at both of them with a smirk, "coordinate your story."

And with far too happy of a smile, the older woman walked out the door again, slapping Heero on the shoulder as she went.

It was enough to squash her heart in her chest as Relena moved from the window to sit down in one of the chairs. "She's right," she whispered. "It won't have to be tomorrow, but I'll have to admit to the insinuations sometime soon."

She knew that he understood exactly what she meant. The entire Sphere was basically draped in images of the two. Relena had absolutely stopped listening to the reports anymore, afraid of what she was going to hear about her own love-life.

But the major problem in correcting their thinking was the fact that… she didn't know what the truth was to correct it to.

"I knew better."

It was barely a whisper, possibly something that she wasn't supposed to catch, but in the absolute silence of the room it carried. And it echoed in her head as Relena looked up at him again. Heero stood against the wall still, his arms crossed in front of him, his head bowed and his eyes unfocused on the floor in front of him.

Knew better… Then it had finally come.

Relena rose to her feet again and slowly paced up in front of him. Stopping a few feet from him, she tried to ignore the searching look he gave her. She tried, but there was simply too much of her that didn't want to ask again.

He promised he'd stay. He promised…

Her last good resolve cracked and instead of facing him like she'd intended, she closed the distance to him instead and met his embrace. Wrapping her arms around him, she crossed under his jacket, just beneath the shoulder holster he wore. Burying her face in his shoulder she stole just a second to collect herself.

"We just can't get a break," she quietly confessed. Every milestone that they had reached had been forced or displaced by some kind of atrocity. Was that destined to be the absolute story of their lives? Where was the happily ever after? She was sick of sharing him with the villains.

But Relena knew better. She knew that Heero would never be completely hers. He would always be fighting something. He had lost himself to war, given his life over to it, before she had even known him. She could feel it sometimes. And as much as she wanted to forget it, she couldn't.

Neither could he. She knew he blamed himself for the media's exploitation of them. It wasn't fair, but he did. It was done and over. The problem now was… "What do we do now?"

'Just please don't leave.'

At one point, Relena could have given him up. She could have let him go just knowing that he was as safe as she could make it for him. She couldn't do that anymore. She was ready to admit that she would cease to function without him. That she'd throw away her career and life and disappear if it meant she could follow him.

It was always her fear. Even if he had promised, it was still a nagging worry she tried to ignore.

He must have felt it in her. His arms tightened around her, pressing her to him. "I won't be any help to you."

Any help? When wasn't he a help to her? No, a help with the media problem, then. Turning her face to lay against his shoulder, she took a deep breath. "I don't care what the press says. I refuse to let them dictate me anymore." Her voice came out far clearer that she had expected it to. "What I need… is to know where we stand."

As soon as the words left her mouth she was ashamed of them. Why was she forced to do this? She had promised herself never to rush him, never to ask how he felt, never to pressure him.

When no reaction seemed to be coming immediately, she leaned back from him and raised her head to meet his eyes. He looked back at her, confused obviously. "Promise me again you'll stay," she whispered, her voice close to cracking. "Promise me we're together."

She didn't have a name for the surprised mix of emotions that went through his eyes, the midnight blue holding seemingly nothing back for just this one moment. And it seemed to take forever, but she waited, not daring to turn away from him. Finally, he seemed to come to peace with something and slowly leaned into her, catching her lips is a small kiss.

"…I promise," he whispered, his lips barely leaving hers enough to form the words before he sealed them against hers again. This time he lengthened their kiss, letting it grow between them.

Relena responded. Turning from the rag-doll she felt like in his arms, she pressed his kiss back, and tightened her embrace around him.

No one was going to make her let him go. No one and nothing.

By the time he pulled away, her breath was rapid and her heart was stripped bare. The ache in her chest was harsh as he loosened his hold on her to be comfortable again. Slowly she sobered, reigning herself back in.

Raising a hand between them she covered over his heart and Heero bowed his face to place their foreheads together. She didn't even open her eyes. Relena stayed right there in him arms, safe and… loved. Maybe just once she'd used that word for what she felt in him.

"Heero," she whispered, hoping not to disturb the mood.

"Hn."

Peeking her eyes open she looked up at him, a smile coming to her lips despite herself. "This is going to sound dumb," she began, fighting a cringe. Lifting his face to be able to focus on her, he only waited, his expression soft and affectionate. "Can I… call you my boyfriend?" she timidly asked before immediately flashing an embarrassed smile and closing her eyes on the reaction.

To her surprise, he actually chuckled at her and she popped her eyes open to stare up at him. He gave her one of his little smiles, "Whatever you want." Leaning down again he caught her in a light kiss and she melted in his arms.

A soft sigh escaped her as he pulled away again. Heero must have heard it because she felt him chuckle again as she landed her head on his shoulder once more. "I love you, Heero," she whispered.

* * *

"You should have expected this."

That was getting annoying. "I did," he refuted, his voice dark and as controlled as he could get it. Zechs sat, staring at the frozen image on the computer in their personal quarters.

"He did the right thing," Lucrezia continued, making laps around their bedroom between the bathroom and the closet. "She's safe."

"Safe from what?" he ground out, still staring at the image that mocked him from the newscasts that had already reached Mars at an alarming rate.

"Zechs, she's perfectly capable of taking care of her own love life. Even if that does include Heero Yuy."

His wife was decisively not helping him.

"Besides," she stopped whatever she was doing enough to walk up behind him and run her hands over his shoulders, "she's used to stubborn men." With a pat she moved away again since he didn't bother to stop her. "They're good for each other, and he just saved her from another kidnapping or whatever. Send him a thank you note."

Like hell he would. His former rival might have finally gone soft for his sister, but that didn't mean that Zechs had to start being friendly with him. It wasn't part of their relationship.

And it didn't mean that Heero could touch her either. A fact that he'd like to very personally remind the younger man of…

"Glaring at that thing isn't going to help," came the next little singsong. She was laughing at him, and he knew it.

But she was right. Clicking the monitor off, he was disgusted with it. Torn as usual, Zechs could only remind himself that at least she was safe. And, if forced and tortured to admit it, he knew Heero would keep her that way.

Besides, he was mildly thankful that he didn't have to be involved in how they were going to handle this mess.

* * *

"Does anyone else think that maybe we should let the Vice Minster out more? Is the poor girl reduced to dating her security? Most women pick up guys in bar; she just goes through the personnel directory."

* * *

"Is this guy for real or did the romantic-action playwrights all move to the Capital? Honestly, I watched that clip the first time and went, OK, OK, where's the 'Coming to a Theater Near You' line?"

* * *

"Is this part of the benefit's package? Vacation, sick leave, handsome, heroic bodyguard… 'Cause if it is, sign me up! I'll run against her for that man."

* * *

"Now, I was sitting casually at a little café on Colony when the news broke that there'd been an attempt made on the Vice Minister. So I end up standing in a town square with like seven hundred other people hoping for the best, watching the jumbo screen. And then they start this playback, and I swear to you the entire place broke out from absolute silence to gasps and ahs and cheers. I haven't been part of a crowd like that since my team won the Colony Cup."

* * *

"Who knew politics could be so rewarding? Stop a war, promote peace, have your pick of the world's sexiest Preventers. I mean, what does she do for overtime?"

* * *

"I find this man terrifying. He's obviously still a teenager and he's throwing bodies around and shooting people like a trained assassin. Where are the Preventers finding guys like this? Prison?"

* * *

"Patriotism seems to be at an all-time high following the recent attacks against the Vice Foreign Minister. Crowds are pouring out in throngs to show their support of the peace-minded Miss Darlian. On a side note, Preventer recruiting has seen a twenty percent increase in hopefuls. Apparently watching someone get shot in the line of duty is a good catalyst. …Go figure."

* * *

Relena strode into the Presidential wing's pressroom as calmly as she could manage. Ry and Alli flanked her, taking positions between the podium and the mass of media reporters. Other officers were positioned around the room, all keeping a strict eye on the thoroughly checked and scanned network camera crews.

She had done her own makeup for the event, allowing the professional staff here only to touch up her cheek as well as possible to try to cover the bruise that was still tender and a bit swollen. But she didn't leave her hair down to mask it. Instead she pulled it back as usual in a low ponytail. Wearing a teal blue skirt suit she gave a polite smile to the waiting public.

"Good morning, everyone, thank you for coming," she started as she reached the podium. "This morning I will have only a prepared statement for you, I will not be answering questions yet, and I will make this short."

She still felt alone. With a crowd full of people, Relena felt left to their mercy. Heero was waiting down the hall in an unused meeting room. Commander Une had forcefully stated that he wasn't to be anywhere near the reporters.

Seemingly as a sign of camaraderie, Une herself was present as well, near the doors to the room. Turned out to hear her speech. All of the Sphere seemed to be holding their breath for these short words.

She began easily, earnestly, by assuring the general public that she was fine and suffered no real injuries due to the attack. Next she went on to thank her security team and the local Preventer and Police forces that saved her. Giving a brief update on Delano's condition, she added a side note that the suspects were also recovering. Relena thanked all of those who were showing their support of her through letters, gifts, and prayers.

She made no mention of Heero. Aside from the sweeping praise that she graced upon her team, she didn't answer any of the questions that she knew everyone wanted to ask. There would be time for that later. Right now, she only wanted to show that her personal issues were not being placed before her work, at least to the outside world.

If it was the right choice she didn't know. She only knew that she wasn't ready to tell the entire Sphere about him in five hundred words or less at a press conference.

"To close, I once again wish to thank everyone for the support that I have seen poured out for me. I truly appreciate it. Commander Une will be speaking to you yet this afternoon on the case itself. Thank you for coming," she slightly bowed to the crowd and slipped away from the podium towards the doors.

Ry and Alli attached themselves to her once more as Relena exchanged smiles with the Preventer Commander on her way out. She tried not to listen to the questions being fired after her nonetheless, but couldn't fail to notice that most had to do with the issue she had neglected.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen," the other woman began, getting the room back.

As she exited, Relena sighed with relief.

* * *

The elder man let out a long sigh from his desk chair. Melton Pearl gave the television an averse smirk and shook his head. "We're screwed."

* * *

"I'm relieved, of course. What other reactions could I have to this?" Richard Pearl insisted. Why did everyone seem to think he was going to congratulate violent criminals or something? "Being a political rival doesn't mean I would ever want to see any harm come to Miss Darlian, or anyone else for that matter. I'm glad that she's safe."

"Mr. Pearl, do you still believe that Preventer protection is unnecessary?"

"_Prevetner_ protection is unnecessary. However, there is obvious need for a team of some type for our government officials. I am thankful that such a team was in place for the Vice Minister."

"Do you believe this will hurt your election bid?"

He was lucky that anyone remembered his name right at the moment. "The issues are the same no matter what. Miss Darlian has been, and will remain to be, an icon for the ESUN government and it's fitting that she has this kind of support. No matter what her role, I would expect this type of concern for her."

"Can you comment on your relationship with Lois Donte?"

How the…? "Miss Donte is an excellent media host, and I was privileged to have been on her program."

"But nothing of a romantic involvement?"

Where were these people finding out about that from? "Our meetings have been strictly friendly," he chuckled at the idea.

"But not merely professional?"

Oh, hell…

* * *

"I don't have another choice, Heero. You will be kept on a restricted basis with her. Your actions as Security Commander will remain. But the press is eating everything alive. The less we put you in front of a camera, the better for both of you."

The man in front of her was not happy. Somewhere in the cold, unemotional countenance of those dark eyes, she figured he was thoroughly pissed actually. She knew she would be.

Une stood behind her desk facing him. "We'll know shortly how careful we will need to be in the future. We're being bombarded for information on you specifically, and none of it is about your official record. I have every resource I can call in working on the problem, but we have to keep you out of the line of sight."

"Her team is already one short."

Calm, calculated, to the point, no mark of his obvious agitation. She would never expect anything less from him. "Relena's schedule will be careful and conservative for a while anyway. There's no reason to expect another attack, this team seems to have been acting on their own, but it doesn't mean someone else won't get an idea. You will be on each trip; I just don't want you physically shadowing her. To the press, you will disappear."

There was a curt nod, but nothing in that seemed to ease any of his muscles.

"Subsequently, I have another job for you," she shifted. Picking up two folders off her desk she tossed them across towards him. "There are two cadets that will finish officer's training in two weeks. I am considering placing them on your team."

Heero stepped forward and opened both folders in front of him. "Ather will be back to active duty in four weeks."

"I'm counting on it," she stated. "These aren't replacements. That's just how I want them to think of it."

That got him to raise his eyes back to her instantly.

A fitting reaction. "Both men will pass the courses with some of the best scores we've had so far. It was to be expected. However, I need a place to start them out under a little cautious… scrutiny," she confided. "They both have Romafeller history."

"And you're placing them with Relena?" he challenged.

"I'm placing them with you," she corrected. "They have been vouched for repeatedly, and I have every confidence in their sincerity. But I've been wrong before, and I'm not ready to take the chance of putting them into active duty at their own discretion yet. I believe they will be very useful officers once I'm assured of them." Pausing she gave him a hint of a smile. "I believe you will find them useful for Relena's upcoming functions."

Lowering his eyes back to the folders, he continued scanning them. "The fundraiser."

She nodded. If Dorothy Catalonia was correct about these two, then they should be ample help to Relena's team and able to prove themselves quickly. She had plans for the two young men. "Yes. I will have them set on a four month tour of duty under you."

"Byron Solvana and Andrew Varnhem," he read.

No, the man in front of her was definitely not happy.

* * *

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." - Washington Irving

"Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive." - Josephine Hart


	22. Chapter 22

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 22

"Hey, they're cute," Sally commented from the front of Relena's desk as she flipped through the folders. Heero and Relena both turned to give her odd looks and she shrugged. "What? They are."

Relena shook her head and finished giving her _boyfriend_ a hug, even in front of the older woman, before walking back to look at the folders as well. That was going to take an adjustment.

"Del was so indispensable that Command Une gave me two replacements? Wait until I tell him that," she smiled.

Sally had been in for just a quick chat when Heero's security code came up, so she just stayed for the show basically. "So these are the big, bad Romafeller's, huh? I don't get the touchiness of the whole thing. What does Une expect them to do, try to take over the world again?"

Relena stared at one of the folders for a second before carefully dislodging it from Sally's fingers. "Andrew Varnhem. Why does that sound familiar?"

Taking a quick look up, neither one of her guests gave her any help. The picture in the corner of the folder didn't jar her memory either. The man was nineteen, sandy blond hair parted in the center and swept back. Dark brown eyes showed from the tanned complexion and strong cut features. But for some reason just the name sounded like she was supposed to know who this was.

"Never heard of him. His grandfather, however, was rather notable in the Alliance," Sally added.

"Admiral Varnhem was the navy commander for twelve years before the war," Heero supplied.

Relena shook her head again, knowing that wasn't jogging her memory. "Probably nothing," she brushed it off. "And Byron Solvana." Taking that folder she ran an appraising eye over his photo as well. Also nineteen his close cropped brown hair was a little spiky. Very blocky looking, his features were muscular. Green eyes smiled back and a cocky smirk was pictured on his face. "Ry's going to love this guy."

"You're going to have your hands full, Heero," Sally snickered.

He didn't seem to bother responding.

Relena shrugged to herself and closed the files again. "If Commander Une has vouched for them, then I have no problem with them joining the team. I can understand being cautious but we should be willing to give them a fair trial."

"Always the diplomat," Sally suggested with a smile before hopping off the desk and sauntering towards the door. "Well, I'll leave you two love birds alone." She threw a wink back to them before walking out of her office.

"She's always doing that," Relena grumbled.

"One track mind," Heero added.

And she couldn't help but laugh. Stepping back to him she raised her arms to encircle his neck and let him peck a kiss on her lips. He'd be stolen away in a few minutes anyway and she didn't intend to waste her moment with him. They were getting few and far between.

* * *

The dorms were… active this early during down time. Heero entered on the third floor from the stairwell to a dull roar of activity from a majority of open doorways down the long hallway. Men wondered around, in various states of dress. Some standing in doorways and others in front of televisions and computers in their rooms.

Walking down the hallway Heero wondered at the absolute lack of discipline displayed before him. He realized they had two day until graduation, but he'd expected a little… something.

These cadets were working for immediate placement. Strategy was the major focus of this class of participants. Proven leadership was required before they could be placed in a command position. The class had already been weeded. At the end of each week, a person could be washed out into general education if they weren't meeting the requirements.

Those that made it past this level would be granted their badges as official officers. The others would need to move through another two-month training schedule before being allowed their uniforms.

They were graduating eighteen men and four women this week from officer's training, another twenty-eight men and fourteen women from general courses. And two of them were destined for Heero's team. Whether he liked it or not.

When Une said that the two cadets she'd chosen for him had Romafeller backgrounds she was being mild. The two were both sons of member families in the defunct Foundation. Had the lines continued, these two men were the heirs to it.

But at the same time that it nagged on him to even accept the two, and subsequently leave Relena to their care, he could understand Une's wanting to have the two in active duty. Their scores were impressive, but their background and family resources would be a definite value to the Preventers as a whole.

He hated these types of politics. The inner squabbling was petty at best.

"Agent on floor!" The gruff call paused him as he stopped to turn back to a man standing at attention behind him where the shirtless cadet had obviously spotted him.

It must have been part of their drilling because the surrounding din died almost instantly. The hall cleared as men entered rooms out of the way.

Interesting.

"Varnhem and Solvana?" Heero eyed the cadet who had taken up the call.

"Towards the end of the hall, Sir. 319, right side," he responded.

Heero nodded curtly and left the man standing there. He paced quickly down the hall, noticing that most of the doors stood open still, and some of the young men were curiously watching to see him pass by.

Coming to the door he wanted, he stopped to find the two men in question uninterested in his appearance. Varnhem was doing something on the computer, his feet propped up on the desk and the keyboard in his lap. Solvana was on the top bunk of the double occupancy room idly bouncing a ball off the wall and catching it again.

Both were in white tank tops and navy fatigues. Non-Preventer issue, but a matched uniform set nonetheless. Neither was paying attention to the doorway and didn't seem to notice him. The room itself seemed stuffed and cluttered. The second desk on the opposite wall was uselessly covered with piles and stacks. The one Varnhem was at seemed far better kept.

"Cadets Solvana and Varhem," he announced himself.

Both men shot to their feet. Byron had to stabilize himself after sliding off the tall second bunk and hitting the ground wrong. "Sir," they both responded.

Heero wasn't their training instructor, he had no use for the pointless title or the strict military attention. Walking into the room he presented them both with their folders he had brought with him. "I am Agent Heero Yuy. You both have been given your first assignment under my command. You will be reporting to me Monday morning. Headquarters, thirteenth floor."

Neither was exactly expecting that and they exchanged a look before nodding. "Yes, Sir," Andrew stated.

"Hn," he mumbled before turning and walking out. However he couldn't help but notice the navy crest that hung over the doorway as he left. Certainly a Romafeller heritage.

* * *

"How many young, attractive men does this woman need? Seriously, if you thought the hunky agent bodyguard wasn't enough, meet the two newest placements on the Vice Minister's team. Hand picked, I wonder? Seriously, are there enough blond bombshells on the Preventer staff in case Pearl does get elected? We need to be fair."

* * *

"'The battle of the romantics,' that's what some are saying about this election year. Both candidates for the Vice Foreign Minister position have been accused of having more on their minds than political victory. Tonight we investigate the evidence on both sides of this hot debate."

The hostess of the program moved towards her guest and the camera moved out to show the political annalist seated next to her.

"Not this guy again," Ry groaned at the television. "You want me to turn this off?"

Relena sat curled into the couch cushions beside Alli as Ry sat, as usual, on the floor between them. "No. My date with destiny is coming and I'm going to need the intelligence." Both of her friends turned to regard her a little funny before she realized how she'd phrased that. "Never mind," she cringed and brushed it off.

Seriously, between Heero, Dorothy and Duo she was beginning to think in those terms way too much.

"We should probably begin with the more outspoken of the couples," the hostess went on. "Richard Pearl has tried constantly to backpedal his way out of confronting the issue of his relationship with Miss Lois Donte. However, his attempts have been useless after this week since Miss Donte herself came out with a statement on her program that the two are indeed dating and that she was tired of running from the media."

"It's proof that an election year is a bad time to start a relationship," the man chuckled. "Obviously this little blurb from Miss Donte was not signed off on by her 'boyfriend.' It wouldn't surprise me to see the two split about this exact issue. The amount of tact that was shown with that confession was laughable."

"Now, Miss Donte is a media giant herself," she continued. "This could easily be a cleaver way to keep Mr. Pearl in the spotlight."

"I wouldn't put it past her," the man added. "The question of their relationship is a matter of convenience if you ask me. What better advice could you ask for than that?"

The hostess nodded in agreement before turning back to the camera. "Speaking of convenience, the true surprise 'couple' that has taken the entire Sphere by the heartstrings is the supposed relationship between Vice Minister Relena Darlian and her Preventer Agent protector."

The camera zoomed out again as the hostess rounded to her other side where a second analyst sat waiting for his turn.

"The major difficulty with speculating on this relationship is because we know basically nothing about the man involved," she continued to him. "I believe you are here to correct that."

The man nodded, his name popping up at the bottom as Carl Domask. "Special Agent Heero Yuy. Preventer Headquarters finally gave a statement confirming the name that we've all been fairly sure of. What they didn't release was anything to do with what type of relationship is between Agent Yuy and Miss Darlian."

"That was to be expected," the hostess went on. "The entire Foreign Affairs department has been guarding this like a national secret."

"Well, to be fair there is a reason for that," the man continued. "Mr. Yuy is a field agent with the Preventers, and as such, his personnel folder and work content is sealed to the public. What we do know is only what is allowed for public access, as it is with any ranking officer in this organization."

"Oh, this guy's good," Alli remarked. "Who paid him off?"

Relena could only shrug.

"But this isn't the first time that Agent Yuy has made the news," the hostess pressed.

"No," he smiled. "The observant viewer will remember Agent Heero Yuy as the 'savior' several months back with the assassination attempt that was made against the President during the rally at the Capital. An action that won the young man the first Presidential Medal of Valor to be given under the Unified Nation. One of three so far, I should add."

The hostess visually looked impressed. "So we are actually talking about one of the most decorated men in the Sphere?"

"Most decorated men in the Sphere?" Ry repeated curiously. Relena gave him a nod in affirmation.

Mr. Domask also nodded from the screen, "Correct."

The hostess waved this off and leaned over towards the man in question. "Now, the question that keeps hitting me with all of this, and I know that there's been no official word on if there is anything between these two but… this is a pacifistic woman of political important and one of her security team." The woman shook her head, "Why?"

The man nodded again calmly and then shrugged. "Opposites attract I guess. I have no idea," he chuckled. "What we do know is that Agent Yuy is not only a member of her team, he is in fact the Security Commander for Miss Darlian, and has been for some time, even before the attempt on the President. Opportunity wouldn't be hard to come by for the two to have gotten to know and like each other."

"Oh, he made that sound cute," Alli gushed until the other two gave her looks to be quiet. "Sorry," she whispered, and Relena only chuckled at her.

"But as her commander, shouldn't it be him making a statement about their relationship?" the lady asked.

Mr. Domask shook his head vigorously. "I highly doubt there will ever be a direct statement made by Agent Yuy in regard to anything that isn't specifically related to the Vice Minister's safety, if that. I'll reiterate that this man is a field agent, public relations is not part of the resume. In all actuality the media has probably ruined the possibilities of his career by publicizing him like this. His identity will soon be a household word."

"We hope not," Relena added.

"So, you're saying the secrecy that we've been presented with is due mostly to Agent Yuy's job, than to cover up the relationship?"

"Exactly," he nodded.

"Yes," Relena cheered in spite of herself.

"Way to go, dude!" Ry cheered from the floor.

"Now I know somebody's paying this guy," Alli hummed to herself.

"He's worth it," Ry added.

Relena could only agree.

The three continued on with their little debates, switching back to the not-quite-open relationship of Richard Pearl and Lois Donte. Basically the two had a number of similarities, and where both admirable people. Nothing that everyone else in the world couldn't see.

"What I question now would be the fittingness of Miss Darlian's relationship," the other analyst snipped. His name always escaped her, but Relena was truly growing to dislike the man.

"Fittingness aside, age is the factor that I'm a little concerned with," the hostess continued. "Miss Darlian is still underage, is she not?"

Mr. Domask chuckled easily at that one. "We're not even sure if they are seeing each other socially or not and you're wondering about foul play?" He brushed it off easily. "I suppose I can mention that Preventer codes put a number of very specific regulations into effect between a protector and the charge. Secondly, there is hardly an exploitable situation going on there. Though he may not seem it from the tape that has been circulated, Agent Yuy himself is only eighteen. Barely a few months older than Miss Darlian."

"Hey, when was Heero's birthday?" Ry popped in.

With a little cringe Relena threw him a look. "January first."

"Really?" Alli asked.

Relena uneasily nodded and turned back to the television conversation before they asked more.

She had never actually asked Heero about his life before. His real life. It had come to her once or twice that she knew Heero Yuy wasn't his real name, but she'd never brought herself to pry far enough into his past to ask what it had been.

It was Duo who informed her that he and Heero both seemed to share the same birthday… along with possibly Trowa as well. Relena had found that extremely odd, she'd been wanting to plan a little something for him and had asked Duo's advice at some random time he checked in with her. Duo had had a little trouble explaining it to her at first.

It was simply a convenient counting method, you aged with the year, and if needed for something like a personnel record, it was as good a date as any.

But it meant that he didn't remember, or never knew, his real one.

It had been a rather unpleasant conversation after that. Relena knew enough about the allusive number three pilot to know that Trowa Barton was also not his real name either. He and Heero seemed to have a number of similarities in their pasts, at least that she assumed.

But it was a little shocking to infer from her informant that the name Duo Maxwell wasn't what the man she knew had started out life with either. He'd only mentioned that he'd 'grown into it.' Relena hadn't pried for any more than that.

Vaguely she'd wondered about Wufei Chang, but Duo didn't mention him, and Relena could probably count on one hand the number of times the man had purposefully spoken to her. Perhaps no one knew for sure with him.

Quatre at least she could say with certainly had all of his memories and family history in tact. That seemed like a rarity with soldiers of that quality. Not just the former Gundam pilots, but here and there throughout the ranks on all sides.

Those born into war without even the chance of deciding not to fight.

"_Some of us don't know anything but how to fight. The only difference between soldiers is who they follow. Right and wrong are determined by someone else."_

Heero's words had stopped her thoughts more than once. She wouldn't ever truly understand, she could accept that. But what she couldn't accept was that there was nothing she could do about it. These perpetual soldiers didn't deserve to forfeit their lives to a war they didn't make. But how do you give life back to someone who wouldn't understand what to do with it?

For some reason, Relena took a harder look at the television screen in front of her and the three people debating her love for a man whose genuine commitment had stolen her heart years ago.

…And she had her answer.

* * *

"Miss Darlian, honestly I'm going to skip to the questions that have been on everyone's lips for most of a month now," the news host sat behind his desk and vaguely waved a pencil in her direction as she sat, for the first time since the attack, on set with someone. "Special Agent Heero Yuy. It took us weeks to even get the name confirmed by the Preventer media department. What we want confirmed now is what does this man mean to you?"

With a smile, Relena covered her nervousness. "Agent Yuy, first of all, is my Security Commander and has been for a year. News groups have picked up on that already."

"Yes, we have," the man chuckled. "And anxiously I might add."

With a nod Relena flashed him a smile again. "What the news groups haven't picked up on is that I knew Agent Yuy briefly before he joined the Preventers, and he was given his assignment with me partially due to that."

In the back of her head she could Hilde, Dorothy and Sally all screaming 'get to the good part!'

"So you've actually known him longer than this year," the man was intrigued.

"Yes," she nodded. "Although not very well," she lied convincingly. "It was very nice to have someone with my team who knew me before I took on this position, and he has been a great help to me." Well there, that was true enough.

The host dropped the pencil and leaned over on his hand towards her over the desk. "So nice that you have… become involved?" he pointedly questioned.

Relena chuckled and crossed her ankles a little tighter together and folded her hands in her lap to keep them steady. "Involved isn't a word I would use," she returned. "However, to answer the real question; yes, Agent Yuy and I are seeing each other socially outside of a work environment."

And everything came unglued.

* * *

"What?" he cried at the screen. As soon as he stopped choking on the soda he'd been drinking, Duo tried to get the burn of carbonated fizzies out of his nose.

From behind him the elder man who ran the pawn shop he was in watched the television interview as well. "Ah, you shouldn't get your hopes up like that, son." There was a pat on his shoulder. "She's just out of your league."

Still pinching his nose with one hand, Duo turned back to give the guy a sour look.

* * *

"Hm. As expected," Trowa actually broke a smirk.

"Scary self-destruct guy?" Catherine cried in outrage beside him. "This is the same maniac you brought here?" she accused him before sobering again. "She always looked smarter than that."

He raised his hands in self-defense and shook his head at his impressionable sister.

* * *

"How fittingly touching, Miss Relena," Dorothy purred towards the screen as she lounged on the front of the desk.

"I told you they didn't need your involvement," Quatre nagged at her from the office chair. With an obvious smile of course.

"We'll see," she happily cooed to herself. She didn't have that much faith in them yet. After all, they weren't doing so well with crowd control.

Well, the two always had given her something to keep her from being bored.

* * *

"Miss Darlian, you have to know that making this sort of statement now could be hard on your election bid," the man studied her, obviously taken a little off guard.

Blinking back at him she softly shook her head. "I will be the first to admit that my personal and professional lives are anything but separated. My emotions don't divide that evenly. My loyalties to the public get in the way quite often of my relationship with Agent Yuy. However, he has always been able to support me through my decisions and I'm thankful for that sort of comfort. So, the general public may as well know that I don't intend to push off my private involvements because of campaigning."

The host nodded as the crowd broke once again into unprompted cheers and calls from around the audience.

There was no doubt what the most sited newscast would be for the next couple weeks.

* * *

The audience was dangerously rambunctious. It was enough to drive his nerves to the edge as he scanned the crowd, barely listening to the interview any longer. It was useless though, and Heero knew it. If anyone caught sight of him right now they would be lucky if they didn't have a riot on their hands.

This was inconvenient. What could these people possibly care about Relena's relationships for? None of this made sense to him. He had almost nothing to do with her political functions.

But he knew better. He had been around these groups and crowds long enough to realize that Relena was right. Personal and professional couldn't be completely separated. And that meant that her personal life was a cause for concern among the voting public. …Or something like that.

He'd known all along what would happen if something came out about her feelings for him. Heero had tried to keep this undercover, but the slip had been caught. He'd known better than to allow anything to really begin between them and he'd abandoned his discipline so much that it was impossible to go back now. 'Allow' still wasn't the right word for what he was doing though, and he knew it.

It was her decision to go public with this, and he wasn't willing to do anything but follow. It would be easier than lying about it. He supposed he agreed with the logic. If she were somehow caught in that lie it would only be worse for the view of her moral integrity.

But with the restrictions against him, he didn't figure that would ever be anything to worry about. He'd been assured before that Commander Une would be anything but pleased with the development, but she'd been far more lenient than he expected. Possibly Relena's influence again.

Still, he felt like he was stocking her more than protecting her. Never more twenty feet away, he was still hidden from sight. The focus of her team had shifted to Ry and Alli. The addition of Andrew and Bryon had been speculated about in the past week as well. So now, he leaned back against the wall behind the curtains of the backdrop for the program, arms crossed, eyes watchful of the crowd beyond.

Delano was healed and out of the hospital, but he had a week's leave left to get himself back up to fitness standards. Having him back would ease Heero's mind some. The group had been informed, more than once, that the two new recruits were not to overhear any of the 'privileged' information that they held. They seemed to understand, but it still worried him.

Picking Andrew out from the row of them between the audience and the stage, Heero still got an uneasy feeling. He was the grandson of Admiral Varnhem, the naval commander for the Alliance until his death during the war. A death that was due to being on a single shuttle that was painted with an OZ ID.

A shuttle that also carried the Field Marshall Noventa, and a collection of the other highest-ranking officials.

A shuttle that Heero knew all too well.

The thoughts of that pained mistake had nagged at him as soon as he heard the name again. His pilgrimage to track down Noventa's living relatives to seek their retribution had been when he had nothing left to fight for. The Gundams were buried under the threat of retaliation against the Colonies and in hiding.

It made no difference then if one of the family did decide to take up the option of killing him.

Heero hadn't deemed the other men and women on board as having the same amount of loss to the peace efforts. Had he continued, Heero may well have been presented with Andrew Varnhem. Somehow, he wasn't sure that the man in question would have had the same reaction that Noventa's family had. It was also why he wasn't volunteering the information now.

There was something strikingly familiar about both of the new recruits. Something in their fighting styles, and something in Andrew's tactics. Heero always had the taste in his mouth that he'd faced the styles before. And he didn't think he remembered it fondly.

He would manage the two for their four months and turn them back to Une to deal with. He had no desire to keep the two around more than he had to.

Heero had enough things troubling him.

* * *

"I say good for her. Miss Darlian isn't backing down to the media pressures. She stood up and said, yes, I'm a normal, natural woman who is in a relationship with a man that I find I have a number of things in common with. What is wrong with that?"

* * *

"And from the frozen depths of Neptune, we could still hear the audible crack as every young male heart in the solar system broke this morning with Miss Relena Darlian's admission that she was seeing someone socially outside of a work environment. …And I'm being told that in political terms that means she dating—She's dating! …Ah, that sucks."

* * *

"Alright, we need a scheme to one-up her," Melton Pearl did his best at trying to pace in front of his desk.

Richard was slumped into the couch, his arms stretch out over the top of it and his head dropped back. "Like what? I'm going to have to ask Lois to marry me on the six o'clock news to beat this."

"I told you that girl had a big mouth. You have to watch those."

"Ah, sue me. She's cute," he grumbled. "I didn't expect her to blow it out of proportion this bad."

"She's a reporter. What did you expect her to do, get it right?" the elder man chuckled.

With a sigh Rich decided not to comment. Why the press was beating itself up to make every possible comment about the two of them being together, he didn't know. But it was distinctly hard on the getting-to-know-you stuff. Although, he had not been amused when she went off on her own and stated that they were dating. 'Dating' was stretching it a bit anyway. As often as they saw each other he placed them more in the 'merely personable' category.

Perhaps his uncle was right and she was only using him for coattails. That would be an unpleasant situation; he was getting to like her.

* * *

"I guess I don't see it," Byron mumbled, watching out the window beside Andrew as Miss Relena and Agent Yuy sat talking at the patio table behind her estate. "It's not like they're particularly mushy."

Andrew watched the couple curiously, wondering at the same thing. Miss Relena had taken the gutsy chance of announcing their relationship to the public during her election bid. The chance was one thing, but the relationship itself didn't seem to merit it.

"You don't think she's just using this for politics, do you?" Byron half whispered to him.

With a shake of his head Andrew turned and left the two alone. Their group was back and the team was given leave while Miss Relena was safely at home again. "That wouldn't be her style."

In the past few weeks they had come to know and respect the Vice Minister. She was friendly, very personable, sharp and smart. And she was also not someone to take lightly. Andrew had had his doubts about that.

It wasn't that he really cared one way or the other, the assignment was all the same to him, but he had been especially curious about Miss Darlian. After all, he and Bryon had lost one of their best friends to her school a couple years ago…

Dorothy Catalonia. Neither he nor Byron had brought up the name with her though, and Miss Relena didn't seem to recognize the correlations. It was fine with him. Andrew found it highly odd that straight out of training they were chosen for this assignment.

The idea that Dorothy had been pulling strings was never too far from his mind, but if she was, he was sure he'd figure out why soon enough. Perhaps the two women had become real friends over the years, he didn't know. When Dorothy left their school, and subsequently left her family home and heritage after the war and Romafeller's final demise, she hadn't paused to give her old friends a second glance.

Something had changed the brazen, manipulative woman he knew and loved. Andrew wondered if that something had been Miss Relena herself.

If so, it possibly meant that Dorothy was up to old tricks again, and was toying with her two former schoolmates' schedules through the backdoors that Romafeller still had, to make sure that they looked after her friend.

And that he would. His past feelings for Dorothy aside, the intricate, politely gentle power that Miss Relena herself held was something that was quickly coming to fascinate him.

And there were very few women that managed to peek his curiosity.

* * *

"A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes." – Clare Boothe Luce 


	23. Chapter 23

AN: Kayrie, you haven't just made my day, you've made my month! I am proud to be part of my reader's substance addiction problems! Especially if I begin to rank up there near chocolate. ;)

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 23

"Zechs?" Lucrezia resorted to waving a hand in front of her husband's unblinking face as he stared passively at the screen. He'd been like that for ten minutes now ever since the upload from Earth came through.

With his typical reaction speed he caught her wrist gently, but didn't let go. And he also didn't turn away from the monitor.

Finally getting worried, she circled the desk and leaned over his shoulder to read the newsreel he was stopped on. And broke out laughing at the headline. "Oh Zechs, let them be."

Releasing her hand, he still didn't seem to find the amount of humor in the situation that she did.

* * *

"How long have you two known each other?" Alli pointed back and forth between Andrew and Byron. The two sat across from her at the dinning room table waiting for Heero and Relena to get finished with the house command setup and come down for their next trip briefing.

"Uh, does birth count?" Bryon responded, sounding bored already.

The kid was sharp if you really pressed it out of him, the rest of the time he just didn't seem to expend the energy by showing it. Andrew was the absolute opposite; he was calmly proficient at pretty much everything, or at least did a good job of pretending to be.

And he was seriously cute. Byron however was the flirt of the two, and not bad looking himself. Which had gotten him exactly nowhere with everyone. Relena was taken, and Alli herself was rather comfortable keeping Ry on the fence with her. And she enjoyed it.

"Morning," Relena interrupted before putting a piece of toast into her mouth as she entered the dinning room.

"Looking sharp, Madam Vice Minister," Ry added from his kicked back position beside her.

With a chewing chuckle, she gave them a small curtsy in her skirt and blouse. A more modern flower print today since she was off camera and traveling again.

"Yuy finished gripping them out yet?" Alli asked.

Finishing her bite she gave a little cringe. "Heero never 'gripes' anyone out. He's just methodical." Rethinking that she flashed a smile, "But I did decide that I wasn't needed for this particular meeting."

Alli laughed at the assessment. Agent Yuy was just mildly annoyed with the crowd of 'supporters' who still hadn't gone home from the month long camp out at her front gates. Although much smaller and unthreatening, the die-hards seemed prepared to last out the entire election. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Finished with that Alli moved back to the newbies while Relena took a seat at the table with her morning toast. "So what's with the matching rings?"

Byron's class ring on his right hand flashed as he helpfully offered the coffee pot that had been laid out for their typical morning gatherings to Relena. Politely shaking it off, he refilled his own cup instead. "About six or seven of us went together and got matching ones. Part of a team thing in high school," he explained.

Setting the pot down he worked it off and handed it over to her for inspection.

Andrew's was gold in tone, Byron's in silver, but the same dark blue stone looked up at her. A rectangle with a chest in the middle of the stone. The sides were deeply etched with their year and designs. Along the sides of the stone on top was the school name. "St. George Military Academy. Really?"

Both nodded.

Relena swallowed and blinked at them. "St. George," she repeated.

The two men swiveled to look at her as she stared back at them, a funny expression to her face. "Yes," Andrew confirmed, a knowing smile tugging at his lip.

"Then you knew Dorothy Catalonia?" she asked, a little taken aback looking.

Again both men nodded, Byron breaking a smile. "That's right. You know our girl too, don't you?"

"Quite well," Relena confirmed, a start of a smile entering her expression. "Do I dare ask if either of you fence?" she raised an eyebrow.

Both broke out laughing and nodded.

"Obviously," Alli added, handing Relena the ring in her hands with the side up that showed a fencing symbol.

"Andrew and Dorothy were co-captains of the squad together for two years," Byron explained.

Relena looked up a bit startled and then shook it off. "Why would that surprise me?"

"Hn," came a soft mumble of agreement from the doorway as Heero made his entrance, not looking especially surprised. Walking in, he came to stand at Relena's side, data pad still in hand

Ry leaned covertly into Alli's side, but the whole room heard him ask, "Who's Dorothy again?"

"Scary, longhaired blond," she stated back the same way.

"Oh, wicked brows!" he cheerily identified her in his head.

"Ry!" she admonished.

Relena rolled her eyes with a sigh.

"What? Everyone else gets away with it," he defended himself. Andrew and Byron exchanged a look in confusion before the latter started snickering. "Seriously," Ry went on, "you guys went to school with her. There had to be a number of running jokes with that, right?"

Andrew turned his confused look back to him and shook his head. "It's not exactly a distinguishing trait. Most of the Dermail line has the same… eyebrows," he weakly defended as though it was simply just normal.

"Ignore them," Miss Relena broke in. "They didn't get to meet Dorothy at her best."

"That was her best," Heero softly corrected, leaning a hip against the table. "First impressions aren't her specialty." Relena only managed to resignedly nod with a smile.

Andrew added a knowing smile to his face at the comment as well, "That's when you need to worry."

Byron snickered again and cut through the atmosphere with a laugh. "Oh, wait 'till I see her next."

Andrew shook it off, "Just make sure neither of you are armed."

* * *

Relena took Heero's arm and slowed his pace as the group of moved across the Preventer landing area towards their designated shuttle. Letting the others move ahead of them she hugged against his side as he looked down at her rather confused by the move.

But she stared forward, a touch of worry entering her eyes as she followed Andrew and Byron's backs as they moved towards the ship. "I never got it," she mumbled to him. "I knew that I'd heard that name before, but I never caught on."

"What name?"

She was worrying him. Looking up she met his eyes to show that she was fine. "Andrew Varnhem. Do you know who he is?"

Heero glanced back to the man in question and then away to the rest of the team. "Among other things, Dorothy's ex?"

"You knew?" she started, almost stopping her forward pace.

Turning back to her, he looked at her oddly. "Quatre seems to have a problem with it."

Quatre. Of course. Relena closed her eyes on the thoughts a moment. He and Dorothy had come last weekend to go through items for the fundraiser. It had been wonderful to see them, and a lot of fun to have the two stay with her, but she hadn't caught on that this was hanging over them.

Them. That was sort of optimistic. The two still refused that there was any true romantic attraction there, but Relena also had enough firsthand experience to know that Quatre was a little smitten with her.

But Quatre had been in to speak with Heero about the security measures for the trip to Dorothy's fundraiser this summer. "He knows Andrew is part of the team then?" she asked.

"Hn."

Dorothy had sworn she didn't have any problem with Andrew anymore, but Relena was sure she knew better. It was months ago when her friend had come to stay with her and told her about the boy from her school who had come back to tell her that he'd been in love with her before the war, and was now finally leaving it behind to move on with his life.

The same Andrew that was only twenty feet away now.

Dorothy had taken the confrontation hard, and had ended up spilling her guts to Quatre, and eventually her. But Quatre… hadn't taken it so well himself. Truthfully, Relena was rather sympathetic to the story as well, even though Dorothy was far more into the 'forgive and forget' range by the time she'd told her.

Still, Relena didn't feel like testing out the love triangle anymore than necessary.

But the other problem was that she'd gotten to like Andrew and Byron. Maybe Byron a little more, he was more outgoing. Andrew always seemed a little aloof. Which, she supposed she was used to as she glanced up at her boyfriend and had to bite back the smile.

Heero must have caught the look though. "…Ex what?" he finally asked, looking oddly curious for him.

Relena blinked. "To Dorothy? Ex… I don't know," she realized. What did she call him? They hadn't actually dated, really hadn't been 'together.' "He said he loved her," she answered instead. "It really wasn't returned, and she didn't find out about it until a little while ago. Then he just basically… left."

"Then it's over," he suggested.

Getting up to the shuttle she released his arm, but caught his eye quietly as the others went to work prepping the ship. "Things don't end that fast."

* * *

"Do you have any idea what I was prepared to bribe Quatre with to get this number? Eight phone calls and one visit and he still held out on me. Me!" the phone ranted at him as Heero tried not to sigh in annoyance. "I finally just stole the danged thing—don't tell him that," Duo added hastily. "And trust me, it was not easy."

"What do you want?" he finally asked into the only break he'd heard since he answered.

"What do I want?" the other ground out. "What do you think I want? I want to know what the hell is going on! You don't call, you don't write, and all of a sudden your _girlfriend_ is on television proclaiming to the whole Sphere that you finally cracked and asked her out just to make soda come out my nose!"

Heero was still in a good enough mood to smirk at the image.

"Come on, man. We're supposed to be closer than this," Duo whined.

"Why?" he vaguely questioned, not willing to get into a debate over this with him.

"Wha—wha—what do you mean, why?" he balked. "You…" A long sigh was heard from the other end of the line as Duo seemed to regroup himself. "This is my fault. I had to be in L4 this week instead of hopping a shuttle and coming and beating you in person like I wanted. Last time I listen to Hilde," he muttered.

Heero finished the page of the report he was reading through. Back to touring, their group was with Representative Hue in L5 for the night before Relena was scheduled to be in a joint meeting with a collection of Representatives, Senators and the President himself tomorrow about a raw goods trading bill. Obviously Duo didn't realize that they were probably only a couple hours travel time apart. Not that he was going to volunteer that.

Smirk still in place, Heero closed down his laptop. "Girl trouble?"

"What?" the phone cried. "You stoic, cocky, little—wait… did you just make a joke?" Duo sobered. "Heero, man, honestly now, you're scaring me. I know love can do weird things to people but are you feeling OK?"

Resisting the urge to just hang up on him, Heero sat back in the desk chair and uninterestedly stared out the window. "What do you want?"

"Oh, good," Duo sighed. "For a second there I thought she actually replaced you with a human. Ha, that'd be a stretch. Come on, bud. I'm just looking out for your best interests."

"My 'interests' are fine," he refuted, closing his eyes on the prying assessment that he couldn't handle this himself.

"Fine," came the exasperated grumble. "Just tell me this. Why go public with it? Have you seen the amount of junk the press is putting out about you two? All it's going to take is one old witness with a really big mouth to turn your happy little world to hell. You know we're all rooting for you, but there's a lot of chatter out there if we need to start tracking people down."

It wasn't an idea that any of them had ever spoken of, but it was there nonetheless. The unwritten law that their identities would stay as buried as they were now. To Heero's knowledge nothing had come too close to the mass public to worry them, but he couldn't be sure about what the others had done.

There were a number of things that passed around the outskirts of the Preventer's jurisdiction that he wasn't supposed to know about. And one of them was the Oracle network based personally under Commander Une. He didn't know who, or how many, but he knew for certain that it formed a large umbrella of protection over a number of 'sensitive issues.' Issues like the propaganda surrounding the Gundams.

He would never consider relying on it though, for obvious reasons. "It was Relena's decision."

"Yeah, alright," he seemed to shrug. "Right in the middle of the election too. The girl wants ya bad," Duo laughed.

Heero didn't think he wanted to know what that was supposed to mean.

"Haven't talked to your princess in a while. How's she doing? Polls look pretty good despite everything."

And he was still annoyed for some reason that Duo and Relena talked between themselves. "She's fine."

"Fantastic," the other grumbled. "Oh! Q tells me that you guys are going to get to steal Dorothy's towels sometime soon for a fundraiser or whatever. I said you were probably going to chew your own arm off so that you wouldn't have to go. You know, I think he's a little disappointed that you don't like his taste in women."

"Apparently I'm the only one," Heero mumbled, bringing his latest problem back to mind.

And for a second the line was actually silent. "Uh… come again?"

"I think bringing Quatre in on that was a waste of time," he sidestepped.

"Ah. Afraid the unspoken couple is going to be a distraction?" he chuckled again. "Quatre's better than that. Although Cat I worry about," he reasoned. "Well, if you need another set of eyes, I'm around. You know I'd look after your better half."

"Hn." That would not be an ideal situation for a number of reasons.

"Well, it's been so nice talking to you, Heero. But, as usual, my voice is starting to hurt and you're down to one-word answers. So, take care of her, and tell her hi for Hilde and give her a kiss from me." With a laugh, Duo finally hung up.

Heero narrowed his eyes at the phone as he closed it. Duo had better have been kidding about the kiss.

* * *

The Capital building of L5 176392 was a beautifully decorated place fashioned after the great monuments of Earth. A fitting statement to call together a small committee meeting about the effects of opening Earth to raw goods from the Colonies without the restrictions and sections presently employed.

Relena's thoughts were reading like the proposal anymore. Brushing it off she walked along, noting a couple odd looks that the group received from the building's standing security guards as they entered. Del had met them last night and was warmly welcomed back to the group. But with the original team and the two extra officers, she felt like she was surrounded by more Preventers than the President.

Who was already here she could tell. His personal entourage of Perventers milled around the building as well, all other non-personnel being redirected to another door.

Walking in, they were met by an aid who gave them all a polite hello and directed them towards the auditorium. Apparently her team was chosen for immediate security of the room, while the President's were spread around the building elsewhere.

Relena wasn't sure she shouldn't take that as a compliment.

Stepping into the hallway she steered them all along with her, feeling like a schoolteacher with her class on a field trip. With an inner sigh she felt herself give in. Some things were worth battling.

Two people on the opposite side of the hall caught her eye as she turned towards the door marked off for them into the auditorium. A smile lit her face and she purposefully ignored the omnipresent eyes that followed her. Detouring, Relena paced off to the side as the two spotted her as well.

A man with dark brown hair, graying at the temples gave her a polite nod of acknowledgement as she closed towards them. The little girl with him though was more enthused to see her. "Miss Relena!" she called, although they weren't more than a few feet apart.

Tugging on her father's hand she drug him along to meet her. "Hello, Malia," Relena greeted her before turning a polite smile to her father who chuckled at them. "Senator Billings."

"Vice Minister Darlian," he nodded.

Looking back down she found the little girl she got to see now and then when she was around her father and grandfather. The adorable child was probably six, always sweetly polite, and always carried her teddy bear with her when she was in a new place so he wouldn't miss out on anything either.

Malia looked up at her happily and then pulled the skirt of her dress out just a little to give her a curtsey.

With a laugh Relena did likewise, juggling her data pad and notes in the process. The little one giggled at her and Relena bent over to shake the teddy bear's 'hand.' "Hello to you too, Mr. Charlie," she said, remembering the bear's name. "I'm glad to see you're taking such good care of Miss Malia."

The girl laughed and nodded.

Senator Billings stopped his daughter from replying and took her hand again to pull her back towards him. "Malia, we need to go find mommy so that I can speak to Miss Relena."

Looking a little disappointed the girl still nodded. "Alright. Goodbye, Miss Relena."

"Goodbye, Malia, take care," she called after her as the girl tried to wave with the hand holding her bear since her father had her other one.

Relena waved back and then continued on towards the doors. Alli cooed out an 'ah' at the retreating little girl. "Isn't she adorable?"

She agreed with a laugh back towards her as the rest entered.

* * *

Heero still didn't understand it, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Why he was even still thinking about this, he didn't know. He supposed it was mainly for the fact that the weapon you know about is far less dangerous than the one you don't. He prided himself on hating surprises.

And if there was one time he did not want a surprise it was while standing in Romafeller's seat of power with Relena hanging on the loyalties of no less than three of these people. Andrew, Byron and Dorothy. Not to mention that Quatre may or may not be the best of help if his mind was occupied with relationship problems.

Quatre was convinced that he was overreacting to the possibilities that anyone still around the Foundation would even want to harm Relena. And concerning Andrew, he had said there would be no problem. Were this earlier in his life Heero would have believed him. But by now he didn't take any emotional response at face value.

Heero couldn't say he understood the seeming mass appeal for the woman in question. If he were putting together an infiltration team for a mission Dorothy would make the top of his list. He had managed to see just enough of her curious activities with the Preventers in the past few months to understand her, rather unique, abilities. But he didn't trust her much farther than that.

Her tactics nagged at him the way Trowa's did. Infiltrators. He'd always preferred the least visual approach. However, he had none of the assurances he had from Trowa with her. All he knew was that Relena and Quatre were both taken with her, and to his knowledge neither had ever been wrong in that personal aspect.

Even where he himself was concerned.

But Andrew and Byron came with none of that yet. And from the tangible tension that sparked between Andrew and Quatre just by a chance meeting in his office, Heero didn't have high hopes for it either. Both were civil, but antagonistic.

The basic conclusion he was drawing in all of this was that he might not be able to count on any of the whole list of these people if it came down to it. He was going to have to start taking on Wufei's attitude that women were sometimes more trouble than they were worth.

Except Relena would appreciate that about as much as Sally.

The alternative was to draw in extra help to offset Quatre's… distraction. Wufei and Sally were already set to be on Mars for a month around that time to check up on the fledgling foothold the Preventers held there. With Zechs and Noin leading that base it seemed to be doing fine, but the cycling teams in and out of there was probably a tiring strain.

Heero tried to keep the smirk off his face. He hadn't been privileged enough to know what reaction Zechs had to Relena's announcement. He was almost sorry he missed it.

But that left Heero with very few options for calling in backup. Bringing in someone else not actually with the Preventers could manage to tip off Andrew and Byron farther that something was different about their group. But his trust came in very limited supply and the list of his proven allies was short. He may have to take Duo's offer.

He hated the position Relena had been put in. The new recruits should never have been assigned with her, whether he was watching them or not. Une needed to check her facts better and he was beginning to think he might just tell her that.

He didn't care who 'loved' who or which one ended up with the manipulative woman. Relena was his and he would not have her jeopardized by something as apparently fickle as Dorothy Catalonia's personal interests.

Movement caught the corner of his eye, stopping all thought and his breath as he froze, tracking his eyes towards it. Nothing. He scanned the three balcony box seats around the second level he was on where he thought he had seen a flash. But still they were dim and nothing caught his eye.

Not taking the chance he slipped from his spot, silent and blending in with the shadows. He crept along the second floor, keeping an eye towards the balcony seating areas as he passed each one. He was most of the way around the horseshoe shaped level when movement flashed between the decorative railings of one of the boxes.

Sniper? No one could think of getting out of here after taking a shot into the room below.

It was secondary in his mind as his gun cleared the holster without a sound, cocked and safety off as quietly as he could as he moved along the floor towards one of the central boxes.

Not too far off the main stairs. They had to be hoping for a quick exit.

Positioning himself against the wall next to the curtained opening to the balcony he heard a light rustle, but nothing else. Acting quickly he raised his sidearm at the ready and eyed around the corner to find his target.

And froze.

Catching his breath in shock he moved again, instantly pushing the safety back on and ensuring that there was no mistake that it was engaged. Holstering the thing back under the security of his jacket he slipped around the corner just a little to get a clearer view.

On the floor of the balcony between the seats was the little girl—Malia—that Relena had spoken to on their way in. She sat cross-legged, but her little dress was pulled over her legs neatly, and hugged in her lap sat her teddy bear. She was positioned so that she, and the bear, could see between the railing's posts down to the table where the politicians were debating away unaware.

Heero blinked at her back and then turned a quick look around for an adult that was obviously supposed to be looking after the girl. But no one seemed aware that she had slipped up here.

For a few minutes he only stood and watched her as she quietly watched the proceedings below from her little hiding spot. She seemed happily content with the arrangement even though he was sure she didn't understand everything they were saying.

Curious, he looked around once more for someone responsible for her but didn't find anyone. She obviously wasn't lost. She knew where she was and what she was doing.

Heero silently slipped into the private box, ensuring he didn't attract attention to himself from the politicians or the rest of his team below, and dropped to a knee beside her. Gasping outright, Malia turned when she saw him and stared up at him in fright, hugging her bear tightly to her.

Not realizing he might scare her, Heero held up both hands in front of him. "It's alright," he softly whispered, not having any idea what else to say.

Looking at him cautiously she pulled back a little, using the little bear like a shield—or protecting it—he couldn't tell. Slowly she looked away from his face and obviously took in his uniform and then looked back up at his face again. Around these people she must have been taught that a Preventer uniform meant he was safe because she seemed to relax a little as she scrutinized him again.

Giant brown eyes studied him curiously before she settled out of her frightened posture and actually leaned towards him. "You're one of Miss Relena's friends," she said in a loud, childish whisper.

Heero wasn't expecting that but the little girl did have a good memory. Nodding he put his hands down and figured that was as good of a description as any. "Hn."

Malia immediately smiled at him with the answer but then sobered again and looked down through the railing they were behind. "Does she care I'm here?" Again she looked up at him, obviously a little guilty looking.

He was sure Relena wouldn't mind in the least that she was there watching, but he got the feeling someone might. "No. But isn't there someone with you?" he asked. She had family here so he was sure she wasn't on her own.

With a grin she giggled at him. Turning around she moved to sit in front of him instead of the railing and then held her bear out in front of her. "Charlie and I like to watch Grampa, but they don't let us a lot."

"Grandpa?" he asked, looking down at the collected people below. "Who is your grandpa?"

"The President," she stated proudly.

Heero blinked and turned back to her smile. So this was the President's granddaughter. If the man with her earlier was her father as he assumed, Relena had called him Senator, and he was seated below them as well. A political family, that didn't surprise him he supposed.

"Do I have to go?" she asked, hugging the bear to her once more and giving him a crestfallen look.

For whatever reason, he wasn't sure he could make her leave. She was obviously doing no harm, but this wasn't where she belonged. He was beginning to suspect that this wasn't the first time someone had led her out of a situation like this. "Who are you supposed to be with?" he asked again instead.

"Mommy and Danielle," she replied.

"Won't they be worried?" he tried to reason.

A little guiltily she looked down. "…When they know I'm here."

Heero couldn't help the little smile that tugged at his mouth at the admission. She was obviously used to being sneaky. Little girl after his own heart, he mused with an inner chuckle. More than likely this would be the first place they began looking when they noticed she was gone.

Realizing he was being far too soft with her, Heero couldn't help it. Moving the knee he had on the floor he sat down in his spot. "I'll let you watch a little and then we'll find your mother and Danielle," he made a deal.

With an immeasurable grin she nodded vigorously at him and giggled before covering her mouth with a hand to quiet herself. She had definitely played this game before. And Heero couldn't help but give her a real smile for it.

To his surprise though, when she turned back to face the railing she scooted over right next to his knee beside him. Making sure she positioned her bear so 'he' could see too, she happily sat and watched as the group discussed the bill in front of them.

And Heero returned to his vigil, scanning the balconies around them from his new position. Still he wondered at the trust of his new little charge. He had managed to startle her, but he assumed now that that was mainly because she knew she wasn't supposed to be here, not because she thought of him as a threat to her.

Granted he was in uniform, but such an obviously daring girl who was related to at least two of the highest-ranking officials in Government should probably be taught to defend herself better.

He was thinking like his training again.

He couldn't remember being her age; there were things in his past that he had simply lost over the years. He didn't dwell on trying to remember them either. But now he was finding his type of training was not always the most beneficial for others.

Relena was a good example. Scanning the room again his eyes stopped on her at the corner of the table where she sat listening to the debate going on around her. She wasn't an innocent little girl by far, but he realized now and then that he treated her like she was. Her lack of physical defensive skills worried him, and after the last attempt on her he cursed himself for not pushing harder for training.

He was still trying to correct that. Relena just wasn't being facilitating.

She would be good in a fight. He had no worries over her losing her head or running scared. Relena Darlian had seen her share of battlegrounds and knew how to handle herself. She proved that well enough right before his eyes on that television set. He knew she was a quick thinker and had the reactions of someone who wouldn't panic.

All she needed was the skill set. But at the same time, Heero had no idea how the general public would have reacted to that tape if it had shown her defensively taking down her opponents on her own.

He just knew he would be less concerned if he were assured that she could handle a couple poorly trained attackers. The group that assaulted her might have been found out as ex-Alliance military, but they were far from combat experts.

The case was closed as far as the voting public was concerned. The agents assigned to it were still finishing their investigation, but they had no reason to expect secondary fallout from the attempt. Une had kept him informed of the situation and Heero didn't refute their findings. He was relatively confident that they had ended that plot against her.

However, Relena seemed to have ideas of speaking with these people about their reasons, and he was fighting a slowly losing battle to keep her away from them. Another fact that nagged on his training as well as his concern.

Heero was annoyed with himself that he couldn't figure out how to be forceful enough with her these days.

The group below called for a vote among them over their debate and Heero decided he should get Malia back to her guardians before they finished all of the points on the agenda. Moving to take his feet, she turned her large brown eyes to watch him. "Time to go," he quietly told her.

For a second she looked like she was going to protest, but stopped and nodded solemnly. Heero waited for her to get to her feet and watched as she moved her bear's arm to wave goodbye to the people down below through the railing. He'd never exactly understood the expression of a child being 'cute' but he figured that was what everyone meant.

Relena was going to 'ah' when he told her about this.

He gave the room a final look-over, ensuring that the rest of his team was on guard and that nothing seemed out of the ordinary before he let her head out of the box in front of him. He'd ensure that she was safely back with her mother or this Danielle, and then be back to his post.

However, he was not prepared for her to reach up and take his hand as she walked along with him down the hallway towards the stairs. Heero stared down at her, but she didn't look up to notice. Instead she just happily walked along at his side, holding her bear securely with the other arm.

Such a very trusting soul… This little girl had obviously never known anyone who would hurt her, probably didn't even know that some people could actually hurt her. He felt a level of protectiveness that he hadn't known in months kick in as he very gently curled his fingers around her little hand.

Their pace was slow as her little legs carried her down the stairs with a hummed note on each one. And he wondered at the reaction. He had gotten used to the feelings of defensive over-protection when he had first joined the Preventers and Relena's team. But he only realized now that those feelings weren't with him anymore.

The dark fear that had gripped his heart as he tried to race to her side on that television set was far removed from this. He'd changed. He hadn't noticed it before, but he'd changed and with it came a new, and far deeper level of concern for her.

Maybe it was best he returned this little girl to her mother before she completely turned him inside out with these types of realizations.

Looking around the first floor he slipped them past the closed doors to the auditorium and continued on down the hallway. Unconcerned, Malia led along, apparently knowing where she was going as though she knew the building by heart. Turning around the next hallway he let her guide him before she stopped short.

A woman down the hall was talking hurriedly with one of the security officers for the building. Looking up, her eyes caught on Malia and she hurried towards them, leaving the guard to shrug and move off again.

"Oh, sweetheart, where did you run off to this time?" the lady started as she came down the hall in a rush. Instead of looking frantic, she appeared more exasperated instead. "I'm so sorry," she turned to Heero instead.

He didn't reply as he noticed that Malia slipped a little closer to his pant leg and hadn't released his hand yet. Looking down at her she seemed a little frightened as she stayed next to him. Defensively he snapped his attention back up to the approaching woman. "Who are you?" he half-demanded.

The woman blinked and slowed to a stop in front of them. "My name is Danielle Mercer. I'm Malia's nanny."

Her nanny? But if Malia was frightened of her…

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" Danielle asked, dropping down to her knees in front of the child.

At his side she nodded. "I'm sorry," she quietly said. "We just wanted to watch. I didn't interrupt," she hastily added.

So, she was just worried she was in trouble. That eased the tension out of Heero as he watched her closely for other signs of fear. He had expected the woman to be worried, but hadn't thought of whether she would be angry with her charge for running off.

The woman sighed with a chuckle. "Oh, honey. Come here, let's find your mommy and tell her you're alright."

"Danielle?" another woman called as she came around into the hallway from the opposite way. "Malia?"

"Mommy!" she called back, releasing his hand as she trotted off to meet her mother, passing around Danielle who only sighed again.

"She does this a lot," she explained, getting to her feet in front of him. "I hope she didn't cause any trouble."

Shaking his head Heero he watched Malia hug her mother's legs as the woman returned it.

"Thank you," her mother stated to him as she took her daughter's hand and walked up to him. "I'm sorry if she caused any trouble."

"I didn't," she protested with a pout.

And Heero couldn't help the little smile. "No, Ma'am. I just didn't want her to worry you," he explained.

The confession obviously pleased her as she grinned up at him for the help.

"Well, thank you very much. We have to watch her extra close when her father and grandfather are together or she'll follow them anywhere. I should have been more careful," she apologized, looking down at her daughter. The two looked a lot alike, the same brown hair and light brown eyes.

"What do you say we sit down and have a tea party until your daddy and grandpa are finished talking?" Danielle added to her.

Malia hesitantly nodded as though she'd rather be somewhere else, but the enticement worked. Danielle held out her hand and Malia released her mother's to take it, but stopped and turned to look back up at him. With a step closer she pulled out the skirt of her dress and gave him a little curtsey like she had done earlier to Relena. "Thank you, Officer," she stated.

"Malia, this gentleman is an agent," her mother corrected with a chuckle, obviously still teaching the girl. "You can tell by his jacket."

Based completely out of Heero's attempts to study the 'polite niceties' of political functions from the book Mrs. Darlian had given him, he lowered himself to a knee in front of her again and offered her a hand, which she took without question. "I'm Agent Yuy. You can call me Heero," he added with a stiff little bow.

He figured he must have done that at least half-right because Malia broke out in a squeal of giggles and the two older women both chuckled at it.

Rising to his feet he watched Danielle lead her away as Charlie the teddy bear waved goodbye to him over her shoulder.

"She's always so curious, it's hard to keep up," her mother smiled embarrassedly. "Thank you again, Agent Yuy."

"Ma'am," he gave her a nod and turned back around the corner into the hallway that led to the stairs.

He absently wondered if Relena had been like that as a child. So curious that she snuck into her adoptive-father's meetings. Possibly. Heero could see her mother having to do the same thing that Malia's had.

His next thought was to wonder if Relena's daughter, or even son, would end up doing the same thing. That was likely. If her children ended up with half of her spirit they would be taxing on him.

And Heero stopped dead in his tracks. Never had a simple thought hit him so hard that it brought him to a standstill before.

Taxing on… him.

Did he really see himself in this role for so long that he planned on witnessing Relena's children? Would he actually be here, doing the same thing, and sending her own daughter back down to the nannies that were supposed to be watching her? Or to her…

Relena wouldn't be having children without a husband.

All thought stopped abruptly and forced him back to reality enough to keep walking, setting himself on autopilot as he made it back to his original balcony position. Looking down from the box area he found the room as it should be and Relena seated at the corner of the table, the same as always.

…Except that the thoughts in his head turned over again and were moving increasingly worse as he tried to push them way. Her husband, her children, her life, her _real_ life. It was all still ahead of her. Ahead of them if he was still engraved to her as he was now.

He had no concept if she even wanted to get married, or wanted to have children, or if she would keep her position if either of those things happened. He had his suspicions of course but she had never spoken about these types of issues.

What he knew was that she wanted to be in her position now. She wanted to help others; she wanted what was best for those around her. And she wanted…

She wanted to be with him. She loved him. She wanted him beside her.

Where exactly was this leading?

Somehow the flash of insight of her children being taxing to him took on a completely different meaning. What if… What if her children…

What if her children were his?

Heero closed his eyes, forcing his breathing back down. He was exaggerating a completely worthless hypothetical situation. Not only was it made up, he had no way of validating it on any level. Cold, hard logic told him that there was nothing that he could do about anything that far reaching.

…But his chest hurt.

* * *

"A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice." – Edgar Watson Howe

Author's Note has been removed due to an overwhelming response. Thank you to all:D


	24. Chapter 24

AN: I'm Sorry! Thank you all with your patience with me, and to Kayrie especially for worrying that I'd been hit by a bus or something. :) This summer I am going to be moving, finding a new job, selling a house, and various other horrible crud that is not getting me in my most creative spirits. I promise to keep going, but I warn you that it will be slower. (sigh) I know, I hate that you guys have to wait on me to write this too.

Also, I forgot to add that you might have recognized the little girl, Malia, and her teddy bear from the last chapter. If you've seen _Endless Waltz_ you might remember the President's granddaughter with him watching the news reports of MarieMaia's take over. (They were both in the crowd at the end too if you look for them.) I had to give her a name since the author's apparently didn't, and Malia seemed to fit. So there is your test on GW trivia for the day. :)

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 24

"Alright, new plan," the phone announced as soon as he picked it up. "So, Hilde left you and you're distraught and hopeless, and you tearfully tell him to never make your mistake," Dorothy gushed.

"I can't do that," Duo refuted.

"Why not?"

With a snort he backed his way out from under the converter coil he was working on in the garage. "I do not get 'tearfully distraught' and I don't lie."

"Oh, suck it up," she grumbled.

"You be all weepy eyed then!" he snipped, selection a new tool.

"Over what? 'I'm sorry to just show up on your doorstep, Heero, but my kitten died, and I just can't face the world anymore!'"

He broke out laughing at the bad acting, but pushed himself back under the hunk of junk he was trying to work with. "I have a better idea."

"Grimmy, one more idea that involves a faked engagement and I'm going to stop including you in these plans."

"I still think it would work to get a guy snooping around her," he defended.

"I think it would get a guy dead," she responded.

"That too," he sighed, balancing the phone between the ground and his shoulder.

"Alright then. Your other ideas have included drugging her and getting our Agent-doctor friend to tell him she's dying of some rare disease that requires him to profess undying love and making out with her to cure."

"That wasn't it," he defended. "I just said that we could give him the good news that it was just the flu or something after he confessed undying love and made out with her," he sniffed. The trademarked cackle came over the line to him and he cringed away from the earpiece. "Now, do you want to hear the news or not?"

Calming herself, Dorothy still seemed less than interested. "Fine. What now?"

"Apparently he's not so enthused with the love of your life these days. What managed to flip him on that one, I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

Poor Dots, she didn't even bother to 'correct' his mushy little view of her and Quatre these days. Another good sign, he mentally patted himself on the back. "I think Heero thinks you've corrupted him."

"Quite nicely," she confirmed. "But what does that have to do with this?"

With a happy smile he shoved a patch of wires back into their connector. "He's _informed_ me that I'm going to be there for this little party of yours too."

The line hung silent a second. "How many people does this man need looking after me?" she grumbled.

"Ah, don't take it personally, Cat. None of us like you. We just humor Quatre."

"That's because you're afraid he'll leave and take the one brain between you with him," she responded, unfazed by the insult. "But I have been expecting this," she sighed.

"Yeah. He just needed to be reminded that I'm available," Duo agreed, happy with himself. "You know any ministers in the area in case we're really good?" he chuckled.

"I'll be sure to know all of them," she purred.

* * *

"I have a letter for you," Relena barely acknowledged his presence as he entered the room while she tapped away at her computer. 

Heero tried not to disturb her work, but she turned to the mess collected on her desk and moved a couple piles before coming up with an envelope and extending it to him. He curiously took it from her, expecting an explanation.

With a shrug she gave him the same expression back. "I got a nice support letter from Senator Billings today, but with it was an envelope addressed to you. He just added that he would appreciate it if I saw you got it."

Senator Billings. Running through his list of Relena's political associates he came up with a face to match the name and… his associated family.

Malia Billings. The little girl from about a month ago. Had her father found out about her little escape from her mother and nanny?

Noticing that Relena was still looking up at him from her desk curiously, he figured she was waiting for him to open it. Complying, he tore open the envelope and pulled out a couple sheets of paper. Unfolding them he stopped, finding only an odd, child's drawing.

Relena returned to typing quickly at her computer, as he started down at the paper. Heero could only assume that he was looking at a representation of himself, Malia, and Charlie the teddy bear. There was no background to the drawing, no placement cues, just the three represented people.

Aside from the fact that Charlie appeared to be the same size as Malia herself, she did a fairly accurate depiction of him as a brown fuzzy bear with black eyes. Herself she drew in a yellow dress with matching shoes although he remembered her being in a red flowered dress that day, with a black headband in her hair.

But comparatively he could tell that she put some time and care into her depiction of him. She had his uniform colored almost correctly, even getting the brown stripes over his shoulders and his ID badge on the front of his jacket. His hair she had scribbled on top of his head, and it actually resembled its typical, unmanageable state probably by accident.

Facial features were non-existent, just two eyes and a little smile. But she did remember his eye color correctly, something he wouldn't have expected from someone so young. With the picture complete, the two of them stood looking at the viewer, the bear in between them. And they all appeared to be holding, very stick-drawn, hands.

And Heero had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do with this.

Moving to the second page he found a letter written out in a small, perfect cursive. 'Dear Agent Yuy, my daughter and I would like to thank you again for looking after her at the conference. Malia still talks about you often and wanted you to have her most prized picture. I hope this little note finds you well. Thank you again, Sarah and Malia Billings.'

'Talks about him often?' What did that mean? How much was there to tell? He had only been with her twenty minutes or less.

"Heero?" Snapping his attention back up he realized Relena was still behind her desk but giving him a concerned look. "Is something wrong?"

He moved to answer but figured this was going to take something of an explanation. Heero hadn't brought himself to tell her about meeting the little girl like he had first planned. With the thoughts that had troubled his mind after that meeting, he had simply never brought it up.

Thoughts that still attacked his conscience at random times since then.

Handing the drawing over to her, Relena looked at, raising a smile at the depictions. "Ah, you got a picture too," she knowingly nodded, opening a side drawer and pulling out a similar sheet of paper and holding it up.

Obviously the same artist's work. Relena was represented alone on the sheet, in a long flowing skirt and a jacket, drawn in pink. Her hair was down and drawn quite a bit longer and… 'fuller' than it actually was.

"I think it's a good likeness," she happily added before laying it down and moving back to his in her hand. "So there's you and her and her little bear. Well, alright, her 'big' bear," she corrected with a chuckle at it.

Heero waited, watching her obvious amusement with the child's presents.

Finally it seemed to click and Relena curiously looked back up at him from the drawing. "When did you meet Malia?"

Heero took a seat in the chair on the opposite side of her desk and abbreviated the story for her, getting Relena to laugh out loud at the little girl's antics.

"Well, you must have made an impression with her," she reasoned back down to the picture in her hands. "Consider that a compliment, Agent Yuy."

Looking back at the letter he still held he read through it again, figuring Relena was right. In some way, he supposed she remembered him the way he remembered her.

Relena restacked a couple things on her desk and clicked off her monitor before she slipped her drawing back into her drawer and then moved around to give his back to him. "Curiosity isn't a bad thing," she reasoned, perching herself lightly on the arm of his chair with a smile.

A smile that told him that Relena was empathizing with her.

With a curious smirk of his own he reached around her waist and quickly pulled her off the arm of the chair and into his lap, getting her to squeak and leaving her in a rather undignified position of having her knees still draped over the side. He would never try anything like this if he didn't know that the security monitors were off and the building was basically cleared out by this time.

Her surprise turned to a giggle at the move. Tucking her skirt between her knees to keep it from falling, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and snuggled into him despite the position. Heero still couldn't get over the way her laugh affected him, and held her tightly against him. "You were like that as a child too, weren't you?" he asked into her ear.

The accusation got her to laugh at him again as she laid her head back, brushing her face against his neck. "What would make you think that?" she sidestepped.

"Hn," he responded, knowing she'd already answered the question.

It still wasn't natural for him to be this close to her. But she never seemed to mind, and actually, she seemed to enjoy times like these. His only measure of whether or not he was going about this right was in her reactions to him. He really felt he was playing this blind most of the time, which both unnerved him, and made the victories far more rewarding.

Although, he figured that probably wasn't the right way to think about this.

"I may have done something similar," she finally confessed. "Father was away so much that when I got to tag along, I always did."

Relena would apologize sometimes when they got a few minutes alone like this that the demands on her took her away so much. Heero still didn't know why she felt sorry for it, but maybe this explained it. He found it suiting that her time was spent working instead of in some vague attempts to bring them together more often. He was physically beside her as much, or more, than could be expected. Her feelings of neglectfulness made no sense to him and probably never would.

But if she were to have a child….

"He would try to tell me it would be boring and I wouldn't want to go, but I always did. Of course, by the time I turned ten I realized it was boring and started to take up shopping while he was in meetings instead," she chuckled at herself, unaware of the thoughts running through him. "I guess I didn't realize I was in training for his job."

The words cleared his thoughts instantly, knowing that sometimes the memories of her adoptive-father caught up with her. Letting the drawing and papers slide to the floor out of his other hand he wrapped both arms around her, never knowing how to comfort her any better than this.

"This is going to sound strange, but you remind me of him sometimes," she confessed.

He found that a little more than strange. She was comparing him to an open, outspoken, pacifist politician. "How?"

There was a quiet chuckle from her. "I'm not sure really." Leaning back from his shoulder she looked at him, her eyes still holding a smile. "I just know that I feel it."

That made no sense to him, but she blocked him from asking her to explain it better as she leaned in to kiss him. Heero obliged her, but his thoughts still turned in chaotic circles. Her usual ability to make him forget himself with her didn't seem to be working this time.

Out of want for it, he pulled her closer, eliciting an audible sigh from her in the process. Sometimes, if they were close enough, he could feel it in her. He could feel her need for him. Understanding it and wanting it were two battling concepts in him.

Heero let his fingers tangle into the low ponytail of her hair as their lips played against each other. Still, the emotional high eluded him. Perhaps he'd let himself become too dependent on that. Addicted even.

Regardless, he could feel her response to him. A trusting desire in her. It wasn't a physical response. At least not a completely physical response. Heero wasn't naive enough to think of those as the same thing. His growing attraction to her was a poor excuse for the feelings that he knew she wanted from him.

Feelings he still didn't know how to give her, or what it would mean later on if he did.

Slowly he eased them apart and Relena snuggled in to hug him again. Holding her, he brushed his cheek along her neck since it was there, still wishing he could feel that 'something' that was just constantly out of his reach.

Giggling, she squirmed away just enough to leave him with only her shoulder. "Heero, I love you," she whispered to him.

He made her happy. And maybe that was enough. Maybe that was what he felt in her. Love.

Maybe it didn't matter what he felt if he just said it back to her. If he just started calling this response to her 'love,' then it would be, wouldn't it?

He doubted he'd ever have to know the difference.

* * *

"The polls are steady." 

"Steadily losing doesn't interest me," Rich threw back at his uncle, not looking up from the newspaper he was reading. "We can't compete on exposure or the 'warm-fuzzy' factor," he grumbled.

"You're just bitter that she dumped ya," the elder Pearl threw back at him with a snort.

"Lois didn't dump me. We decided this was just not the best time to pursue a relationship," he corrected for the twelfth time.

"Boy, she dumped your loosing butt. Get over it," he waved it off. "Woman looked like a stick anyway. Never trust a girl that doesn't eat; it means she can't cook," he waved a finger at him.

"Watch out Confucius. I swear I'll write an advice book out of your ramblings." With a disgusted huff he closed the paper and threw it viciously into the wastebasket beside the desk. "What do we do now?"

The elder man looked over the rim of his half-glasses that were sitting on his nose as he closed the book in his hands. "You could always get a new girlfriend. That was at least fun," he shrugged.

"Uncle!" he chided.

"Don't get your diaper in a bunch. Just write your debate topics. We plunge ahead," he nodded back down to his book.

Rich hung his head to rub at his eyes a moment before leaving the office. Why did he ever get into this?

* * *

"Oh, I'm sorry," Relena sighed as she hugged her mother tightly. The group filed into the house as Heero purposefully closed the door on the little group of reporters gathered around the outside walkway. 

Une was going to reprimand him again but he had no choice. He hadn't realized they would invade this usual sanctuary too.

"It's quite all right, dear," Mrs. Darlian hugged her daughter back warmly. "I've been through elections before."

* * *

"Mrs. Darlian?" 

Looking up from her paper, she smiled easily as Heero entered the front living room towards her. Anymore when Relena came home it was with a crowd. She had gotten rather used to her daughter's friends and protectors. But the quiet, commanding boy that Relena had told her she had fallen in love was… unusual.

"Hello Heero. Please come in," she offered warmly. "What can I do for you?" she questioned as he approached her. Such an inexpressive person it made her a little uncomfortable, but at the same time, he had a gentle grace to him—a genuine-ness—that made her think of him as safe. It was an odd feeling.

But this young man had taken her daughter's heart, and so he held hers as well.

"I wanted to return this," he answered stopping in front of her seated position. Extending the blue covered book that she had given him the last time he was here she smiled at it.

Taking it back from him she looked down at it. "Did it help?"

"It will," he answered.

Nodding, she looked back up at him and extended the book again. "Then here is your next lesson, Agent Yuy," she instructed with a smile. "Never loan a book. It was a gift and it's yours to do with as you will."

Heero seemed a little surprised with that but slowly took it back again with a nod. "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. As I said, I understand what it is like trying to keep up with someone in Relena's position. I'm happy to help." A pause lengthened between them and she looked back down at the paper she had been reading in her lap. "Would you sit a moment, Heero?" she asked quietly.

She didn't look up yet, gathering herself. It had been months since she had read the first page of any paper. She couldn't bear to see the reports on the attempt on Relena; it had nearly broken her heart to see it the first time.

Heero obliged her and took a seat in the chair across from her, probably wondering why she'd asked. She may not be completely comfortable around him yet, but she was trying to start thinking of him as one of the family just in case something more came out of this relationship that the entire human race seemed to want a piece of. It wasn't fair to such young children.

But that was neither here nor there. Setting her paper aside, she clasped her hands in her lap before turning back to him. "Relena assures me every time I talk to her that she's fine and being well looked after. I believe that," she added with a smile to him. "But with what happened recently I can't help but worry more. It's hard enough for me to think of her in her father's position. …I appreciate that you're there with her." Heero didn't seem to know how to respond to that. "A mother's worry," she smiled instead.

Looking back down to her hands she regretted saying that. He probably had enough things to look after without her blubbering to him. But to her surprise, Heero stood again and walked over to look down at her. "She is as safe as possible," he reassured her. "I promise that."

She believed him. The recording that had shown what happened in that fight had at first frightened her; scaring her that her daughter was so close to such a potentially destructive man. But she knew that there was a kindness readily under the surface of him. And Mrs. Darlian smiled at it now as she slowly rose to her feet beside him as well.

"I appreciate that," she quietly stated. It may not relieve her worry, but if the young man in front of her loved her daughter as much as she believed he did, then he would protect her. And he was capable. Frighteningly capable. "Please take care of yourself too, Heero," she added, wondering if such a man knew what it would do to her little girl if he were hurt in such a fight.

Apparently not. A touch of confusion flashed through the dark blue of his eyes at the comment.

He had no living family left, he'd told her that. Well, she had always liked being an adoptive mother. "You have a difficult job yourself. Please do be careful," she sincerely asked him. "I worry for you too," she admitted.

There was a moment's pause as he seemed to wonder at her, but slowly he took a step back and raised a hand to her. "I've never done this before," he began.

Blinking, Mrs. Darlian allowed him her hand and he gave her a slight bow as he raised her hand to peck a kiss on the back of it. With a giggle it was enough to get a light blush out of her. It had been years since such a young man had showed her that kind of compliment. Returning it, she moved to give him a shallow curtsy. "Very nicely done," she approved.

For once, she actually got a little smile out him and returned it unabashed. Her daughter had good taste.

* * *

For her reservations about the two new officers, Relena was befriending them easily enough. Perhaps she'd gotten over whatever concerns she'd had about Andrew's imagined relationship possibilities with Dorothy. 

Heero couldn't say that he completely didn't care what outcome that particular problem had. Quatre was an ally, one of the small group that he could trust with knowing his past. Personally, Heero had thought the young corporate president would have enough problems without taking on the task of courting the Lady Catalonia too.

Maybe the former pilot was bored these days and looking for a long-term complication. Plausible explanation.

But that left Relena and Byron and Andrew to cheerfully be chatting away in the library. Even the threat of the reporters outside didn't deter her from a few moments of happy abandon here in her childhood home. As usual, she dropped the pressures of her position for a while, something he rarely saw outside of these walls.

And apparently the Romafeller heirs were enjoying it.

He had heard the three laughing and talking amongst themselves and hadn't decided to interrupt. Instead he had placed himself across the hallway in the corner office that had been her father's den. But for some reason, the work he had waiting for him wasn't enough to keep him from the distraction of the three's lively conversations.

The bits and pieces he caught held no meaning to him, and he didn't bother to try to interpret it. Relena deserved time away from the pressures she was constantly under, by whatever form that took.

Rising from the couch near the doorway he moved farther into the room, catching his eyes on the fireplace mantle and the photo collection that sat on top of it. Family portraits, most of them. The one in the middle was one that he knew well considering it was the one that also sat on her shelf in her office at the Capital.

Relena was in the middle with a large smile on her face and both of her parents just behind her. Heero had often assumed that this was the last picture that she had with her father. She looked just the way he remembered meeting her, younger, less serious, more… innocent. Naïve maybe.

So innocent that she didn't recognize danger in front of her. Heero supposed he saw her that way once. Just like the little girl, Malia, she had probably never really known that there were people capable of harming her.

Not until he showed up. Heero took a long look at the image of her father over her shoulder. If he reminded her of this man it was probably because they had both been responsible for her loss of innocence. Perhaps if he added Zechs to the mix then he would have the whole picture. Mr. Darlian, by his confession and death, had plunged her into the realization that she'd been surrounded by lies all her life. Zechs, by his betrayal of Earth, had confirmed that humanity was too weak to resist the possibilities of war on their own.

And him, whom had once promised to kill her, and later to protect her. Relena had tried to see the war through his eyes… and eventually he through hers. Neither had succeeded and never would. As it should be.

But oddly enough, she loved all three of them. It was hard to imagine why. But her father was dead; her brother was all but exiled for fear of being recognized. All she had left was him….

Closing his eyes he strained his hearing for a moment to listen to a couple laughs coming from just down the hall. That wasn't true. Relena could go anywhere and find people that she cared for. It was her nature. If he wasn't here, couldn't she find someone else to love too?

It was a nagging doubt that still hadn't been completely washed away. Someone else could make her happy too, couldn't they? What was the significance in him? Was it just the shared secrets that bound her to him, or was it something he didn't understand still?

But he was slowly losing the idea that anyone could replace him to her. Relena was his. And Heero knew that there was no one else who could take her place in him either. He was… trapped.

Looking back at the pictures in front of him that was the only way he could describe it. Her life before him may have been in a secure, little bubble, but it was real. She had family and her future. Now, she was simply on hold, waiting for the rest of her life to catch up with her.

Could he do this?

Heero stared at the photo, trying to wrap his mind around the concept of the rest of his life… with her. He wasn't supposed to have a future. It wasn't something he'd been taught to worry about. Every day he was still alive was simply an accident now.

But could he do _this_? Could he stay with her, be a… husband… a father?

Something in his gut repelled at the idea, bringing the same nameless ache that he'd first had with these thoughts.

* * *

"And in today already walks tomorrow." - Samuel Taylor Coleridge 


	25. Chapter 25

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 25

"Protesters and a mob of people have gathered outside the courthouse as you can see behind me. Signs and banners have been hung denouncing the four members of a group that just over two months ago made an attempt on the Vice Foreign Minister, Relena Darlian during a television interview. Frederic Toloma, the man supposedly responsible for leading the terrorist group, is the last to see his arrangement hearing due to the injuries sustained to him during the struggle. He is expected to make a guilty plea as the rest of the group did."

"And he'll make a speech with it," Relena corrected the newscaster as she closed the feed on her laptop. "Heero, I can't refute this if I don't understand why they did it," she added

Eyeing him standing on the opposite side of the room she felt very secluded from him. He had been flatly negating every effort she made to be allowed to speak with at least one of the group that had threatened her on that television set. She understood that it wasn't exactly the type of request most protectors wanted to hear from their charge, but she had hoped that he would understand the desire in her personally.

"No."

Or maybe not. "What danger would I possibly be in?" she tried again, keeping her voice gently prodding instead of throwing the tantrum she felt like. "The warden has already said he would allow a supervised meeting and you can be right there next to me."

Heero turned from his scrutiny of the photos on the fireplace mantle of her father's den, meeting her eyes darkly a moment before she cringed despite her best efforts not to. Relena shouldn't have brought that up again. He had not been pleased when she went behind his back to request the audience on her own.

Not pleased at all.

"He's a known enemy," came the rebuttal.

The man was sometimes infuriately calm. "He's a known enemy that's behind bars."

"We don't know what else he could be capable of."

"No, we'd have to talk to him to find that out," she ground out in frustration before turning back to the desk. "I'm not going to hide from this."

"You're clouding your judgment."

_Her_ judgment? Spinning around Relena stalked towards him, tired of this. "What are you so afraid of?" she finally asked, not nearly as gently as she would have liked. Coming up to his side she stopped and watched him as he refused to look at her. "Heero, these people have willingly decided that pleading guilty is the best way to make a statement again myself, the ideals of pacifism, and the world order in general. And I don't understand why."

Turning his eyes to look sideways at her, he only seemed to scrutinize her a moment.

Searching his eyes she wanted to find something, anything, to give her a clue what he was thinking. He couldn't just be worried about her, could he? It didn't make sense; there was no discernable danger. "I don't understand you," she quietly challenged him with a worried look of her own.

Closing his eyes, he turned away from her again, thinking maybe.

Relena didn't bother to wait. Stepping around to face him directly she stood proudly in front of him, wishing she understood his mentality better. "I need to do this, Heero. Please don't just close me out," she quietly resorted to pleading with him.

Reopening his eyes, he looked into hers, unemotional and contemplating. It had been a while since she'd seen that out of him, but she stood in front of him and waited. She wouldn't do this without him, although she supposed she could. Her love for him was even greater than her respect for him.

And she didn't want to do it alone anyway.

"You're not going to find what you expect," he finally said.

Blinking, Relena was a little taken aback by the switch in sentiment. "What do you mean?"

Uncrossing his arms he stepped up to her and touched her cheek, looking down at her. His only answer was the soft set of his eyes and the motion of his thumb tracing her cheekbone.

* * *

"Frederic Toloma was sentenced just this morning for attempted kidnapping, two counts of assaulting of an officer with a deadly weapon, and promoting insurrection. He has been declared an enemy of the peace and will be forced serve a life sentence. Following this decision, a statement was released from the Water County Correctional Institute that Mr. Toloma will receive a guest before he is moved to his permanent place of incarceration. Vice Foreign Minister Darlian, the woman Toloma and his group attempted to kidnap almost three months ago, has been allowed her request to speak with the leader of the group. There has been no report from the Foreign Affairs Department as to what Miss Darlian will say to her would-be assailant."

* * *

"What?" Melton Pearl snapped, tearing his glasses off his nose as they stared at the television screen.

"What does that poor girl think she's going to accomplish by going to see that dreadful man?" his wife mumbled from her usual recliner, a cup of tea still in hand.

"Brilliant."

Melton turned to see his nephew in the doorway, his eyes fixed on the screen. "What's so damned brilliant about that?"

"A meeting. A trade of forgiveness-es. A servant of the people visiting her lost sheep."

The elder Pearl sighed and turned a grumble back to his wife instead, "I hate when he does this."

"It's his mother's side," she refuted, sipping at her cup.

* * *

Relena sucked down a deep breath before she nodded for Heero to open the door. Getting out of the car ahead of her he offered her a hand to help her out, which she took readily. She wore a simple pair of slacks and a cream, silk blouse, something casual, but it would stand out amid the brightly colored jumpsuits.

Heero pushed her past the flood of reporters, taking the lead position for once and silently scurrying the people out of the way with what Relena was going to assume was his best glare.

He wasn't in a good mood.

The others followed behind, watchful of the surrounding crowds. Relena didn't care. She'd already made the statement that her conversation would be private and that she would not be reporting to the media. This could have been a lot easier if this place hadn't leaked that she was coming.

Another fact that Heero was not thrilled about.

At the gate they were let through immediately. Once inside the inner offices her officers were relieved of their weapons even though they were licensed, and then allowed to pass into the facility beyond. Andrew and Byron were left in the front room to guard the entrance. Alli, Ry and Delano stayed just outside the meeting room that they were ushered to.

Heero stayed with her.

Once inside, the Warden excused himself to escort the prisoner, and Relena found herself sitting in a hard, plastic chair in front of a white, plastic table. The cold sterility of the room was one thing, but the foreboding of the actual event was finally hitting her with the reality of it.

The last and only time she had seen this man, he was racing towards her with a gun in his hand and a look of cold determination on his face. She could still remember Heero pressing her against him and taking aim at the man's wrist.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for Heero to be the one in here with her… as if he was going to let anyone else do it.

Quietly she told herself to just think of her questions as she folded her hands in her lap and squeezed them tightly together. The deathly silence from Heero behind her really wasn't doing her nerves any good either. She had gotten over the fact that he just wouldn't tell her what he was so troubled about with all of this. But he was here; he could have continued to refuse outright.

The door in front of her, on the opposite wall from the one they entered through, hummed a second and then popped open automatically. The man she was waiting for walked in, bound with a wrist to waist transport chain, and followed by three guards and the Warden himself.

A tether was linked from his back and was quickly attached a loop on the wall next to the door as Mr. Toloma took a seat in the chair set out for him. Which was almost exactly the distance from the door that the man had available to him by the leather strap. A precaution that Relena somehow felt Heero may have had a hand in.

"Miss Darlian," the man nodded with an almost friendly smile, "don't look so abashed about the chains. I'm gettin' quite comfy with them."

"Mr. Toloma," she nodded. She'd given away her discomfort at seeing him in such restraints. What had she expected, a sitting room and a quiet cup of tea while they chatted? "I wish this could be more comfortable for you."

"Comfort is a state of mind, not body, Miss," he rattled it off like a mantra.

_He talks like…. _

"Miss Darlian, we will leave this to be a private conversation as we agreed," the Warden addressed her. "But the room will be visually monitored and we are just behind the door if anything goes awry," he took a glance back to his prisoner.

"See," Mr. Toloma waved one of his bound hands towards the Warden. "They look after me so well here. No more repair surgeries to worry about."

Relena didn't respond to the reference, and the Warden only motioned the other guards out as well. "When you're finished you may exit through your doorway as normal," he added before they left the room, the security door swinging shut on its own behind them.

"You know, this is fun," the man in question smiled at her again, his brawny features looking almost happy now. Dark eyes were a little closely set for his chiseled face, his hair was dark but cut so short that it was hard to notice. "I never expected this in a hundred years. What'd I do to deserve the honor?"

It wasn't what she was expecting, but Relena purposefully relaxed her posture a bit and even gave him a small smile for the compliment. "It was apparently very important to you to capture me. I wanted to give you the opportunity to say whatever it was that you'd planned on."

The man in question studied her a moment in surprise and slowly squinted at her a bit, the touch of a smile never quite leaving his face. "You're a smart girl, ain't ya?"

She blinked but didn't know how to respond to that.

"Well, I was gettin' to figure that," he nodded. "If I'd known the company you keep better before that it wouldn't have been worth the trouble." Raising his eyes over her shoulder, she could tell he'd caught Heero's, no doubt unflinching, stare.

That look. She knew that look. He was so much like the others….

For a moment she didn't fight too hard for something to respond to that with. She merely let the two men size each other up for a second. She knew better than to try to get between two soldiers… she'd tried that before and failed miserably. "Mr. Toloma, I really would like to know what you wanted from me," she called his attention back.

The look of happy surprise lit his face once more. "Miss Darlian, it wasn't anything personal." Leaning in a bit, he gave her a wink. "Actually, I think you're damned pretty to look at, giving all those speeches about working together and what-not."

Relena blinked at him, taken aback by the announcement.

"But your boy's already cranky at me, so I'd better shut my mouth about that," he chuckled to himself. "Miss Darlian, you were just proof to a point," he sobered some, leaning back in the chair again and setting his hands down in his lap. "One thing I would like to say though, Miss."

"Of course," she offered.

"You'll have to forgive my men's manners with ya. It wasn't part of the plan for you to be hurt at all, that bruise ya got included." Pulling out a grin, he winked at her again. "None of us expected you to kick a chair at me," he chuckled happily. "Got some spirit there. Hadn't expected that."

For some reason, Relena actually felt like she should take that as a compliment. "Thank you," she returned, not knowing what else to say.

With a nod he shrugged it off.

"You said I was to prove a point," she began again. "What point?"

With a heavy sigh, he watched her for a moment and then flicked his eyes past her to Heero and then back again. "Like I said, it wasn't personal."

"I know, you told me that," she called him on it. "But what was the point?"

Scrutinizing her a moment longer, he again glanced up to Heero and back. "This is private conversation, let me ask you somethin'. Have you ever been scared, Miss? Scared of the person standing right next to ya, but knowing you got to trust them anyway?"

She sat a little thrown off again, but studied the question a second. Normally she wouldn't admit to some things, especially in front of the man that her mind automatically clicked back to, but for some reason the prisoner in front of her was carefully judging her reaction. "Yes."

"Were you rewarded for it?"

"What do you mean," she asked, confused.

"Did they own up to it, or stab you in the back?" he clarified.

Well, she was still alive…. "My trust was well placed," she reasoned to him.

With a smile he nodded to her and then moved his eyes to look at Heero again. "Anyone I know," he peeked an eyebrow. Turning back, he looked at her again. "It's not that we wanted you hurt, or your guard there either—do be sure to send my regards," he added. "But I'll want to bet with you that that man wouldn't have answered yes to my question. What do you think?"

Delano? Would he have ever been in a place like that before? "I don't know."

"Tell you what. I do," he leaned in again, his expression serious, and propped his arms on the table, his handcuffs clanking loudly. "I do know he's never felt it. You know how I know? Because he didn't shoot me. He stalled. He clamed up, waitin' for me to back down like a good little boy should when someone's got the bead on ya. I didn't. If he'd been scared, he'd have shot me." Leaning back again he raised the little smile once more. "He'll shoot from now on."

Relena sat, staring at him, her heart thudding away in her chest. "What does that have to do with you?" she quietly asked.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "The boy was just on the wrong side this time. See, that's the problem. It takes too damned long to figure out what side you're on."

"There are no longer any sides. The war is over," she calmly reasoned to him.

And Mr. Toloma broke out laughing so loudly it startled her. "Over? Hell, Miss," he shook his head and tried to sober. "Your boy back there doesn't look like much of a talker," he nodded back towards Heero. "But you be sure to ask him sometime if he thinks the war's over. You run right along home and ask that guy I shot if the war is over. You find a soldier, Miss," he pointedly met her eyes, "then you still find a war."

"A war for what?" she asked, appalled at the idea. She knew the soldiers. She knew many of them. She knew that they were moving on to live in peace.

Peeking his eyebrow at her again, he tilted his head a little and scrutinized her. "A war is the ability of a person to fight. Don't matter much what for, none of us ever really knew. Things like that are left up to you, Miss. People with pretty words and big dreams."

He pause a second as she tried to make sense of that, but she couldn't respond.

"You want to know the point, Miss? I'll tell ya," he licked his lips. "You know what it's like to be scared. Now imagine switching those sides four—five times. _That_ is what the war means. Fear is what the war means. Never trusting whatever side you're on this week is what the war means." Throwing a nod in Heero's direction, he sighed. "Don't know what battlefield you pull him off, Miss, but no little camp of a training ground gave him fight like that. And yet, you got people walking around with stripes on their shoulders working with others who they wouldn't trust to save a parking space for them."

Relena sat, completely confused with the comment, not understanding him in the least.

"You got too many soldiers, Miss. That means you got no place to put the fight, the war, the fear. It's all the same," he shook his head. "You still got too many sides, Miss. The point was to show ya that. Show ya the fight that people still have in them. What I didn't know was that you've got it too," he smiled.

"And now, I've taken you out of the fight?" she tried to understand him.

"You don't get it," he shook his head. "I've taken the easy way out. Look around me, Miss. I have blank walls and shared space, set bed and rising times, uniforms and a number better than a name. I have the comforts of a soldier all nicely lined up for me, and do you know the best part?" Leaning forward, he stared into her. "I, unlike your boy behind you, actually have forty years of peace ahead of me. And all with the same people."

She didn't understand, but the threads of this were becoming familiar to her. "What would you want me to do?" she quietly asked.

The man sat, looked at her contentedly. "You don't seem to know it, Miss. But you've made yourself a side. All those mobs of people stand around shouting for them to hang me? Those are your soldiers. You got the Preventers," he nodded towards Heero again. "And they be doing a damned fine job of recruiting. And you—you Miss," he pointed, "have the whole living generation behind ya."

"Then what is your point?" she asked again.

"My point is that you're gathering the next war."

Relena stared at him in shock.

Mr. Toloma shook his head, his smile easily returning. "You got the choice, Miss. You got an army at your call. I'm telling you that now, so ya know," he smiled. "Where you go, they follow. Like I said, pretty words and big ideas."

The pieces quietly clicked into place for her, and Relena Darlian sat very still and returned his steady gaze. "Do you find me a threat, Sir?"

Widening his smile, Mr. Toloma leaned onto the table between them again. "Not if I've scared you."

* * *

"Do you think that's really what I'm doing?" she quietly asked.

"Yeah."

"…Is it wrong? Is it a bad thing?"

"No."

"Why am I any different?" she whispered.

"You know better."

"Do you believe in me, Heero? Do you trust me?"

Stepping up behind her, he turned her around in the dim room and pulled her into him, finding her lips in a long, gentle touch. "Completely."

* * *

"Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within them the gift of miracles." - Samuel Smiles

AN: Thank you all for bearing with me through this hectic time in my life. I promise the next chapter of this story will be up sooner than this one was... and it should also be lighter. :)


	26. Chapter 26

AN: Special thank you to Kayrie. Not only does she share my habit of always guessing ahead of the author, she flatters me to no ends (which will get you everywhere), and just generally made my week. And to Exmes, who—as usual—inspired at least half of this chapter.

Also, yea for me, it didn't take a month to update this story. But you'll be able to tell that this chapter wrote itself far more quickly than the last. Please enjoy.

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 26

"…_you're gathering the next war."_

She wasn't. She couldn't be.

"…_you're gathering the next war."_

She wanted peace. She wanted everyone to forget about fighting, to live together, to give up the past hurts. She wanted to see the sides forgotten and ignored. She wanted the soldiers to find a better life. She wanted them to see what they had fought for and appreciate it….

Could they? Was Frederic Toloma right? Those who knew war would never forget it. She understood that. But that didn't mean they couldn't learn to live in peace. She understood that too.

Didn't she? Didn't she see those she knew going on with life? Heero, Milliardo, Lucrezia, all the others, they were all…. Vigilant.

Yes, they were moving on in life, but they weren't leaving it behind like she thought they were, were they? Even at Christmas, what had they all done but glued themselves to monitor for anything going terribly wrong. They were all ready to fight if the need came.

Their war wasn't over.

"…_you're gathering the next war. Where you go, they follow."_

That fight, that soldier's pride, that fear, that unknown quality that she saw in every warrior she had ever met… that was their war. The quality that kept them loyal even when they didn't know or understand their sides or what they fought for. Peace meant nothing to these people. Such a pretty notion held no meaning when their only concern was to complete their missions… living through them was only a bonus.

They were looking for the new side. The new leader. The new mission. The new war.

"_Where you go, they follow. …pretty words and big ideas."_

She was a side. She was giving them a leader and an ideal. To those without family or home to go back to… she was the closest thing many had to a new figurehead. What she had thought was political support was much more. The support for her projects, the Preventers, Mars, all of it. She had wanted a place to put the unused energy of the soldiers…. She had.

But she hadn't removed the fight. She hadn't given them trust. She'd given them a new battleground, a place to start fresh with the same fight.

But they needed it. They needed a place where they could learn to trust. Where they could build something. Could hold something in their hands and say that they accomplished a goal. Not something so intangible like peace or stability. They didn't care. That wasn't their way. They were tools and were used to being used as such….

They needed a home. They needed to understand "home."

Perhaps she had underestimated how many people couldn't, or didn't know how to, go home. She only knew the lucky ones.

"_I haven't figured out where to go yet."_ She'd never realized how little she understood Heero's meaning almost a year and a half ago. She never would.

Heero Yuy.

A young boy who had been trained as a soldier for longer than he could remember. Real name, unknown. Real birth date, unknown. Real home… nowhere.

Heero Yuy.

The pacifist leader whose assignation had started a war so terrible that all of humanity denounced it. …But it had still been fought.

Relena Darlian.

The girl who had become Queen and then a Foreign Minister. The girl who rallied an army to her cause. …The girl who could cause the next war. A pacifist that by her life—or death—could bring the end of the goal she preached.

Did the original Heero Yuy ever realize this? Did he know what his assassination would do? The love of the people was a catalyst… a flirtatiously dangerous affair. All people needed was an excuse if they had the chance.

It wasn't enough to smooth the wrinkles out of a new government or political stand. It wasn't enough to tell them to move on. There had to be something that she could give them. How did she give someone trust? How did she give them pride, or love, or home?

They wouldn't understand those things yet…. She understood that.

"_Do you find me a threat, Sir?"_

"_Not if I've scared you."_

Yes. She was scared.

* * *

"I shouldn't have run again."

Heero knew that this would scar her. It was probably for the best that Relena began to understand her role as he had known it for years now, but that had been… indelicate. It was exactly what he expected her to find by pursuing a meeting with someone like Toloma.

"If I left, what would happen?" she quietly asked, still staring out the window of her office, one hand balled up over her heart. "If I just walked away, left a position of power, told everyone I was simply going on with my own life? Would it be an example?"

She still didn't understand. …That was for the best.

Moving away from the door he had been leaning against, he slipped over behind her and stood over her shoulder, watching her carefully. "It would only divide people again."

"Wouldn't that be safer?" she whispered back.

"No."

Relena didn't seem to be expecting that. "Why?"

"I've told you before; all a soldier can do is fight. If you're here, peace will come."

Shaking her head back and forth she turned around to face him, her eyes blurred with unshed tears as she looked up at him. "I don't know how."

He couldn't help the little smile that he gave her as he carefully raised his hands and brushed the tears out of her eyes. "You're underestimating yourself."

Part of him knew that she was putting too much pressure on her own shoulders. Worrying about holding up the entire human race would not be good on her. Even though his rational side knew it was for the best that she understood, the rest didn't want her to be afraid of every action she made. It would be hard on her.

Somewhere in something he did, Relena did try to return the smile though. Stepping in, she hugged him tightly and buried her face in his shoulder. "You'll guard me against messing this up, won't you?" came the muffled question.

He would guard her against everything he possibly could, and he nodded his cheek against her head. Now, more than ever, he believed he really had no option but to be here beside her.

Holding her to him, there was something that still felt trapped here.

Sighing quietly, she seemed to slowly regroup herself. "I love you," she whispered.

When was he just going to give in?

* * *

"She's been quiet lately, don't you think?" Byron mumbled from his spot in the chair in front of the desk.

"Do you think that guy got to her?" Alli asked, perched on the desk next to where his feet were propped up.

"Toloma is a worthless terrorist. I doubt Miss Relena was easily intimidated by him," Andew added from the chair next to Byron as he stared out the window waiting for the others to get there. "More likely that she had to realize how sick some people's views are."

"Sounds like someone has a crush," Alli giggled merrily in his direction.

Dark brown eyes turned back in her direction at the tease and narrowed at her in a mock-threat.

"Ah, Drew's always had this secret thing for the bossy types. Go figure," Byron shrugged before elbowing his friend in the arm.

"You almost sound like you know what it's like to have a relationship," Andrew threw back.

The two glared at each other and Alli laughed from her spot on the desk between the two. "Boys, boys," she shook her head.

"So, what's the deal with you and Ry?" Byron broke the glare first. "We all know he's stuck on you. Do you plan to give the guy a break?"

"He's growing on me," she admitted, pretending to think about it. Apparently none of them had realized that they had begun dating outside of work. Just a few nights out here and there, but… well, she was happy with it.

"Why are people always so stubborn when it comes to dating?"

"You'd probably know if you ever did it."

"Shut up."

* * *

"Quatre!"

The man looked a little tired as he wandered through her door at seven thirty in the morning. Considering he probably didn't get any sleep the night before due to the time difference and the four-hour travel time, he still flashed her a typical smile. "Miss Relena," he cheerfully returned. "Good morning."

Chuckling at him, she met him in the entryway as he sat his bags down in order to return the hug she threw around his shoulders. "Are you ready for this?" she asked, backing away to look up at him. Had he grown on her again?

With a slight cringe, he gave her a smile and a shrug. "Ready as I ever am."

* * *

House command had dropped them both off at Preventers Headquarters across the street from the Capital instead of usual. Ushering themselves in, Quatre escorted her up to Heero's office. The first item for the day was to walk through this weekend's fundraising event and brief the team on the layout.

It wasn't exactly necessary that she attend, but Relena had innocently asked Heero earlier if she could sit in on the briefing. He apparently hadn't found the request all that odd and allowed it.

She had a number of her own interests in these proceedings. While the guys dealt with keeping her safe and sound, she intended to try to lessen the friction that she figured was bound to come.

Andrew and Byron had thrown a wrench into the works by their mere presence, and she was constantly trying to keep the stability of the situation. It was her self-proclaimed peacemaking assignment these days. She had understood quite well Mr. Toloma's insight that the Preventers had officers who worked together that wouldn't turn their backs on each other. Heero didn't even bother with the appearance that he really trusted Andrew or Byron, but neither was actually slighted because of it.

She was back to figuring out that no matter what her political reach was, she herself could only work with a few people at a time. And she'd been working this pet project for months now. Adding Quatre and Andrew's personal conflict was actually the fun part of this.

Swallowing, she tried very hard not to let Quatre see the smile that threatened her.

Walking in, they found the others already gathered, and the two civilians the last to arrive. And from the obvious shock on most of the faces of the room, Relena had a good idea that Heero hadn't mentioned they were coming. "Good morning," they both greeted, getting a round of greetings in return.

"Are we missing one?" Heero mildly asked from the side of his desk as he let her take his chair for herself.

"Dorothy won't be available today," Quatre filled in, closing the door and walking over to add his briefcase to the desk beside Heero. "Apparently she found out yesterday that the Mars crews had to resort to rationing the potable water supply for two days last week while a couple supply ships were delayed." Pausing, he took a look at his watch. "She's probably a half an hour into chewing someone out from the Satellite by now."

Relena winced in spite of herself. She was very familiar with Dorothy on the rampage with a hired supplier. It wasn't pretty. "I hadn't heard that," she offered. "Is this a typical problem?" she wondered out loud.

Quatre shook his head as he pulled a couple files out the case and laid them out. "I'm not sure, but it seems like it."

"I'll have to talk to her," she mumbled to herself. If they needed additional staff members, she should take a look at that….

"ETA?" Heero asked instead.

"Tomorrow evening at the latest," Quatre answered, catching his eye, "if I have to drag her back myself."

Relena added a smile at the familiarity that the two platinum blonds showed. It spoke to their connection, but these two really didn't seem to be progressing, and that worried her more than any of Dorothy's flat denials of a relationship—which Relena didn't believe.

"Hn." Moving on, Heero crossed his arms and slouched one hip against the desk. "Mission profile will not be standard," he began to the others, who had sat a little uncomprehending of the situation until now. "You all know Quatre. The piece of information necessary for this assignment that you are being privileged to is that both Quatre and Dorothy Catalonia have what are called Preventers Civilian badges. A handful of individuals who have proven themselves credible to the agency hold these."

Quatre gave a slightly embarrassed smile to the looks that all got turned his way.

"Quatre and Dorothy both hold agent ranks, equal to my own for this assignment. The lead has been designated to Quatre, myself and then Dorothy," he listed.

It took a little bit of knowing him for Relena to hear it when he adding the last name as though trying not to bite his own tongue. She did notice that she wasn't the only one who bit back a smile at the little slip.

Quatre licked his lips when Heero turned his way again to start and he opened the file folders in front of him to cover it. "You all know Dorothy as well. The other host of the event is Marquis Wayridge who some of you, I'm sure, know," he turned to Andrew and Byron at the end of the line, "and others of you don't. He holds a full security clearance and will be one of the few invited to this event that does. Any guest should be considered as a potential threat," he added as he moved to pass out a stack of sheets

Turning back he gave Heero and Relena copies as well and flipped open his own. "Layout for the chateau is… extensive. The house itself already has a fully monitored security system, which has been tested and is in working condition… finally," he added to himself. "Specifics are listed. There are three disarming codes which will only be supplied to individuals as Agent Yuy sees fit."

Alli whistled to herself as she flipped through the two pages that Relena sat and stared uncomprehendingly at. "This is all one house?" she asked.

Beside her Ry turned the page around his hands a couple times before tipping it back upright. "The woman lives in a danged fort."

Andrew and Byron both chuckled to themselves, almost ignoring the information in their laps.

"Yes," Quatre agreed with a nod. "The chateau was built almost three hundred years ago, and it was meant to be… stout," he smiled at the apparent understatement.

Relena glanced at Heero, who was also looking down at the subsequent sheets with more than his usual curiosity showing. Well, leave it to Dorothy.

"Technically there are eight floors to the building, a basement and seven stories. The top floor is divided though into individual attic spaces. I doubt we'll be utilizing anything over the third floor." Flipping more pages, Quatre moved on. "Securing the guests' entrance should be easy. There is only one entryway on the front of the building, the center door. The guest list is invitation only and all names will be checked."

"One door?" Delano added, flipping blueprint sheets. "You're joking."

"On the front," Quatre smiled. "There are two side doors on the tip of each wing, and there are thirty-seven back entrances." Half of the room looking up at him in shock and he flashed them a smile again. "Not including balconies on the second floor or above."

Byron leaned over to Andrew and mumbled, "I would have guessed forty."

Andrew nodded back, obviously not finding the description surprising either.

Relena glanced between the two and back up to Quatre who didn't seem to mind the commentary. "The building itself is secured, and will be easy to monitor. The gardens however will be more difficult."

Flipping pages again, Relena tried to look like she was keeping up with this and ended up on a page showing an aerial view of a diamond-shaped area that was attached at the back of the house.

"The gardens have been set up with heat sensors and camera systems. Even at that, they are impossible to monitor closely enough. As such, only five of the doorways to the back of the house will be open while there are guests on the property. The three ballroom, and the two music room patio doors. These and the front door will be the only unlocked and inactivated doors or windows in the building," he stressed.

"Using the garden at all is a risk," Heero observed.

"Yes," Quatre returned. "However, it does give us some added protection since anyone attempting to break in will probably go through it first."

Heero scrutinized the sheets, but didn't say anymore, probably wondering whether to disallow it altogether.

"I realize this is a lot to look over, but are there any questions?" Quatre went on.

"Some of the guests have been allowed housing for the event. Where will they be?" Relena asked. Heero flashed a look at her and she gave him a smile before realizing she hadn't exactly mentioned to him that little added perk to sweet talk some of the more elite of her supporters into coming to this.

"Marquis and Marchioness Wayridge will be hosting them at their estate," he helpfully soothed, probably catching the exchange.

"Well, that's nice of them," she returned to the sheets before Heero could give her that look of his.

Continuing on, Heero ignored it. "Servers, personnel and others have all been cleared for their tasks. Most of them are allies and may be trusted."

Because most of them are Maguanacs. Relena quietly smiled to herself. She was going to have to teach him to call people friends instead of "allies" all the time.

"You're placements for the event will be centered around the ballroom and back entrances. We'll specify once we're there."

"And where will the two of you be?" Alli asked, looking between Heero and Quatre who both turned to glance at each other.

"We will be out of uniform and… escorting," Heero informed them, casting Relena a quick look, which she returned happily. It had taken a little doing to get it—alright a lot of doing—but Heero had conceded to being her date.

Even though she knew he agreed far more because of the defensive positioning available than anything relating to their relationship, it still gave her butterflies to think about already. Unfortunately, she was sure he was a little less enthused.

But the other five people in the room turned surprised looks to them. "You two," Alli waved her pen back and forth between her and Heero who nodded. "And you and…?" she pointed to Quatre.

"I have the honor of escorting Lady Dorothy," he informed her with a little smile.

And Relena carefully watched both Andrew and Byron's expressions twitch.

"Both of who will be regarded as undercover," Heero reminded them. "Nothing should be done to implicate either—now or ever—as being affiliated with the Preventers organization."

The others blinked back their surprise and nodded.

"Along with these two, there will be another pair joining us which will also be viewed as undercover. Agents Duo Maxwell and Hilde Schbeiker will join us once we're at the location."

Relena and Quatre both turned to him in surprise but Heero didn't seem to feel the need to expound on that at the moment.

"This should be a full house," Ry mumbled.

* * *

"Are you sure it's a good idea to put Duo and Dorothy in the same place intentionally," Relena muttered as the others left the office, closing the door behind them.

"I trust him as much as I do anyone with her," Heero answered, flipping through the sheets again.

Quatre sat down in one of the vacated chairs in front of his desk before looking up at Heero's back in confusion over the statement. Seeming to think better of saying anything though he shook it off. "Those two get along better than they admit to," he added.

"That actually worries me more," Relena looked at him funny.

Quatre only tossed her sympathetic smile.

* * *

"He doesn't trust me, does he?" Quatre asked as they sat, idly conversing in her sitting room.

Relena looked up from the sheets she'd been studying and blinked at him. Quatre sat, basically staring into space, his chin propped up with an elbow on the arm of the chair. "What are you talking about?" she asked. He was one of the only people Heero really trusted.

Turning, she watched his sea blue eyes study her for a moment, which wasn't exactly a typical expression for him. "I don't think I blame him," he continued on, adding a smile. "I'm not the only one on the team that isn't exactly impartial."

Chuckling, Relena shrugged it off. "Heero isn't exactly impartial either," she reminded him.

With a laugh, he agreed with her. "That's what makes him good at his job."

The tease was good-natured, and also very true, but from a friend like him it still threatened to make her blush. "I suppose so."

Obviously seeing it, she heard him try to bite down the chuckle, "Sorry."

Waving it off, she gave up trying to decipher the blueprint sheets he'd brought. She was supposed to study the house for easy exits in case she needed to flee the area due to attack, just like she was always prepped for, but she couldn't really make heads or tails out of the diagram of this mammoth house. She'd figure it out when she got there.

Moving the conversation towards his romantic endeavors instead of hers, she tossed the pages aside. "How often does Dorothy get called in for the Mars project?"

"Now and then," he answered. "Since she handed off the operations to the Commander on Mars itself, she only tends to get called when something really goes wrong. She's back to being mainly a negotiator, I think. She doesn't talk about it much," he seemed to apologize.

"When something really goes wrong," she repeated to herself. Something nagged at her about the project having these kinds of problems. "Sally and Wufei were headed to Mars this week to check in with the Preventers station there. They've had a few requests to take on trainees, but it was hard enough to convince the Representatives to allow even a standing base."

"I'm not surprised," Quatre off-handedly mumbled. "Not with the people there."

Blinking, Relena looked over at him to find him concentrating on something else in their setup plans. "Why is that?" she asked.

Conversationally, he didn't seem to catch the extent of her interest. "Marcus Delmare was out to play his people more than he was ever trying to lead them, but he made an astute observation, right before he intended to kill us. He said that he had collected a group of 'ex-convicts and dead men with no names.' He was crude, but right."

She was openly a little shocked to here that come from Quatre.

When she paused he looked up at her again, seeing the expression. "I'm not saying anything against them," he hurriedly added. "It's just that the project collected a lot of people who had nowhere else to go. Those that can't come back, or who need to have the world think they're gone. It's a safe place for them. But to someone like Mr. Delmare, it was an expendable crew that no one would care, or even know, if they really did disappear."

Relena stared at him a second, his words hitting far too close to home in her right now. "Back up, please," she quietly asked. Quatre blinked at her, obviously wondering at her reaction as she stood up and walked around to actually sit on the coffee table in front of his chair. "Go back to what you said about the workers."

He looked down at her oddly. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked, apparently thinking he'd offended her.

"No," she shook it off. "I think I just need to hear this."

Obviously he didn't understand that, but he moved to oblige her anyway. "That a lot of them went to Mars to escape being here?" he asked.

"That the project collected people who had nowhere else to go," she corrected, paraphrasing him.

Taking a curious interest in her now instead, Quatre set aside his data pad to look down at her. "Does that surprise you?" he quietly asked. "Between those that lost everything, and those that never had it to lose, there are a lot of souls that are looking for a place to fit in again. Much like your brother, I assume."

"And Mars is a good place for them to start over. Something they can build." Turning away, Relena let the thoughts race ahead of her, turning his words over and over again. "Safe. You said it was a safe place. Why?"

"It's secluded. The workers are always the same, and most of them all know better than to ask about another's history or background. It's an unwritten code. The only revolving individuals are the Preventers officers that cycle through," he informed her, still at a loss for what she was thinking.

"A place all with the same people. Somewhere with no sides," she whispered to herself before she stood again and paced around the table to stand in front of the window. "A place they can trust each other."

"Miss Relena?"

She barely heard the confused, worried note to his voice as she turned the idea over again. "But the project is full."

There it was, the brick wall in her way. The colony was almost complete and the people were settled. After this the terra-forming phase would begin, taking most of the next five years if the new projections were right. After that, it would be an open escape to anyone who really wanted to go, but that was too long to wait.

"How do I open Mars again?" she asked herself, lost in thought. It wasn't her definition of home, but it certainly could be to those who had never really known one, or have no hope of gaining another. "Would they go?" was the next question.

"Would who go?"

Relena started, turned to look back at Quatre who had come to stand behind her, obviously worried. "I'm sorry," she gave him a smile for the concern. "I've had these thoughts in my head and what you've said has finally given me an idea," she explained.

"Of offering a position on Mars again?" he guessed. "Who is it you're trying to talk into going?"

"Anyone who wants to," she offered. "Anyone who still doesn't have a place here."

She could tell by the change in his eyes that he understood what she meant.

"Would it work?" she asked him, knowing very well that Quatre was one of the very few people she could ask for that answer. "Do you think there are still people who want the chance to…" she didn't know what to call it.

"End it," he supplied, caught in his own thoughts. "You're talking about dealing with the veterans, aren't you?" he turned back to her.

Nodding, she let herself be caught up in the thoughts. "Yes. I need something that I can give them to help. A project like this could turn people around. Give them a purpose."

"Some," he cautioned. "The Delmares were a good example of that."

"The Delmares weren't soldiers," she quietly added that to the web of her thoughts.

"Ferra was."

Hiccupping her mental picture at the idea, she turned back to look at him, wondering how he knew that. But Quatre was centered in his own thoughts and didn't seem to want to expound on it. "We do need the Preventers training base then," she whispered to herself. "We'll need more than just a single station. Police included."

"Relena, you're talking about supplying a new, defendable position to a group that is used to military dominance. That's… asking for it," he met her eyes again for a moment.

"Then we need a bridge," she continued, not letting his tone defeat her line of thought in the least. "A permanent trade between the two."

"That may not be enough."

"You've said yourself that they're already there. We knew it when we were on Mars that the chances of it becoming independent and beginning the next conflict could only be a matter of time." The nagging thoughts that had plagued her from the start of this proposed project were still there but they didn't slow her momentum. "Regardless, we have to work to keep us connected."

"…Then it shouldn't be a project."

"What?" she finally blinked out of her daze.

Looking at him, Quatre seemed to carefully draw his own troubled conclusion before meeting her eyes again. "It shouldn't be a project then. …It should be a territory."

The newest foreign territory.

* * *

"There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them." - Alexandre Ledru-Rollin

AN: The middle section is mainly background for those not reading Revelations as well. Thank you.


	27. Chapter 27

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 27

It was not going to be a popular idea. The Minister himself may laugh at her outright for even thinking on the subject of re-opening the Mars project and pushing it forward. Relena was going to need a far more advanced plan than she had floating in her head right now in order to even pitch the idea.

But it was worth it. It had to be. Something in her just knew that this was a large enough focus with enough possibilities. She needed to talk to Milliardo and Lucrezia. More than anyone else, they would know the answers that she needed now.

How? It was the question that beat in her mind with every breath that she took.

Silently she rode home, her two house officers in the front seats, and she stared out her window at the passing traffic as they went. Since yesterday evening, when Quatre had inspired these thoughts in her head, she hadn't let them go yet.

Her dear friend probably wouldn't admit to being the inspiration behind this though, he had giving far more reasons to be cautious than he had for her to plunge ahead. But he hadn't said it was a bad idea, or one that wouldn't work. Relena was taking comfort in that.

Quatre Winner was proficient at reinventing himself. He had turned from young, conservative heir that basically no one had ever heard of, to Gundam pilot and a master tactical strategist—according to Heero's few roundabout compliments—and back again. Now, he faced the corporate limelight much as she faced the political one, leading one of the largest companies in the Colonies.

Quatre hadn't gotten the luxury of going underground with his identity. He'd been plunged back into the world he'd left behind when he chose to fight, and Relena knew better than to think it was easy on him. He had lost his father, and had almost disinherited himself from his family line. She trusted his perspective as one who had fought the war, but then had to personally fight his way into going home.

It was different from the others. It wasn't necessarily the type of person she wanted this for. She was trying to think of those who didn't even have the option of trying to go home. Heero's words haunted her now, after all of this time. _"I haven't figured out where to go yet."_

He had ended up with the Preventers because…. Well, she wasn't exactly sure. He'd never said that he was here only because she had told him he was welcome. More likely that he figured it was the best place for someone of his… talents.

He didn't know how to give up the fight, no matter how much she knew he wanted to.

Blinking out of her thoughts again as they pulled into the estate, she allowed her officers to open her door for her and escort her inside. She would drive herself mental if she didn't stop obsessing. She'd allowed her thoughts to lead back to this every waking moment for too long already.

Giving the rest of the house of usual people a passing hello, she went upstairs to her rooms and closed the door. Dropping her briefcase down on the sitting room table, she continued to her bedroom, spotting an addition immediately. Already hung up and smoothed of all wrinkles from shipping was her gown for the fundraiser.

She had changed her mind seven or eight times, and had changed the order twice. When it was finally settled that Heero would escort herself, she had hurriedly canceled the order for the one she had placed the day before and begun furiously searching for something a bit more… date worthy.

The high and mighty Vice Foreign Minister still mentally giggled at herself every time that came to mind. Looking through dresses and alteration sites, Relena had caught herself humming random little songs to the effect of: _I have a date, I have a date, yea, yea, yea!_

Letting it out for once she laughed at herself out loud and rolled her eyes. She was being way too excitable about this. It wasn't like her date was anywhere near being so massively enthused. Actually, he hadn't said a word on the matter to her personally since he conceded, _"…it would be an acceptable position."_

She loved him, but sometimes she needed a Heero dictionary to decipher how acceptable was "acceptable."

Oh well, he was getting better.

Making up her mind, she closed her bedroom door and then carefully began removing the dress from the hanger and cardboard shaping items. Typically she didn't bother trying anything on before an event unless she thought it may not fit right. The designs she chose were usually simple and easy to pull off, not to mention easy to pack. Besides, she carried a needle and thread and safety pins in her personal items at all time.

But this… this just begged to be tried on. Getting it draped over the bed, she tossed her clothes off and then rummaged through her bottom drawer for the dreaded strapless brassiere obviously fitted with enough magic pixy dust to squish her down a size and push her up a cup.

Men really had no idea….

Getting the thing fastened and everything—ahem—in place, she decided not to drag out the slip for the trial run and managed to wiggle herself into the dress on her own. She was getting to be an expert at this type of thing too. Squirming a little to be able to zip it snuggly under her arm, she swished the skirts around her legs a couple time before happily stepping up to her mirror.

The media wouldn't be getting through the front doors; she didn't even have to walk through the cameras to get in herself. The whole room would be supporters, or as close to it as political acquaintances ever went. She'd have a house full of friends for three days and three nights…. And she had a date.

And she almost had the courage to wear this dress.

"Oh dear," she whispered to herself.

Picking up the skirts she fluffed them out a little to make up for the fact that she didn't have a full slip underneath to hold them out. Turning sideways she again examined herself and then turned around and fluffed the material again, trying to look at the back.

"Oh dear."

Spending another couple minutes examining the dress and then readjusting it, she had determined exactly one thing. She may be one of the highest decision-makers in the Sphere, but she was still entirely too feminine not to need fashion advice.

Going over to her desk, she called up her vid-line's contact list and paused on Hilde's number. Rethinking this she switched the camera off first just in case and dialed. After four or five rings she got the savage yard's answering machine and hung up. The last thing she needed was Duo getting a message for help like this.

Sally was most of the way to Mars by now so, out of other options, she dialed her remaining friend's house phone. "Chateau du Brume Gris," a man answered hurriedly with a terrible mispronunciation….

Wait a minute. "Quatre?"

"…Yes?"

Wincing painfully, Relena had forgotten that he was already there. "Hi, it's Relena," she went on.

"Miss Relena," he cheerfully greeted her. "I knew it was going to be someone I know," he muttered. "We just released her staff, so it's down our group already."

She couldn't help but laugh at him. Honestly, Relena wasn't sure that the man actually got more than ten feet away from Dorothy's side these days. "I'm sorry to bug you, I'm sure you're all busy, but would Dorothy have a minute? I need to ask a favor."

"Oh, of course. Let me find her for you. Just a minute, please."

"Thanks, Quatre."

"Sure, I'll see you tomorrow," he warmly finished. A second later slow instrumental music filled the line instead.

"She has hold music?" Relena asked herself, sighing. Not wanting to sit down and wrinkle the material she leaned over the desk and added her elbows to it to prop up her chin with.

It wasn't long before the music clicked off again though. "Relena, you had better not be backing out on me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, due to pressing matters of State I need to decline your invitation," she stated just to jab her.

"The only pressing matter is the state of my mental health right now," Dorothy sighed.

With a laugh, Relena figured she should agree. "What did you do with Quatre?" she innocently asked.

"You know, I get the sinking suspicion that he's holding a war council with the guys about the evils of me and ice cream," she thoughtfully stated.

Relena blinked at the blank screen and wondered if her friend's comment about mental health wasn't too far off. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, you don't want to know. But honestly, if I don't get another female in this house somewhere soon I'm going to need the Marchioness' estrogen too."

Laughing, she felt a little better with this. "Good. Because woman to woman, I need an opinion," she meekly asked.

"Oh? I'm listening," she purred back.

With a deep breath, she squatted down to the right height and clicked on the camera and monitor. Dorothy appeared, holding her face in her hands over the desk, her hair pulled back and probably braided behind her. But her eyes widened as soon as the image clicked in and she tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing her.

"Well now, what is this?" Dorothy asked.

Mildly clearing her throat, Relena stepped back from the desk a few paces to get into a wider camera view. "Um… my dress," she answered.

"Back, back," Dorothy waved her on, still not responding immediately.

This is why she tried to call Hilde first. Complying, she walked back as far as Dorothy waved her on.

"Well now," the other hummed, folding her hands to place her chin on. "Miss Relena, I do say you're stunning," she smiled.

"Thank you," she nodded. "But it's a little…."

"Turn please," Dorothy ignored her.

Diligently, she turned away and heard the fond little coo from the screen. "How absolutely precious."

"Really?" Relena looked over her shoulder at her.

"Of course. What's wrong with it?"

"Well, it's a little… bare," she tried with a smile as she turned back.

"Oh, worried about drool from your ever beloved?" Dorothy raised an eyebrow.

Relena gave her a sigh for the jab. "I'm a little more worried about my elderly political supporters."

"Ah," Dorothy nodded. "Step up," she waved her back and then stopped her. "Alright bend over."

"What?" she blinked.

"Old dress-code," the other smirked. "Reach down and grab your knees, if anything shows down the front or up the back you can't wear it."

"Why did I call you?" Relena muttered.

"Come along. You're the one stressed over it."

Leaning over a little, she humored the other woman.

"Dear, you're not even showing cleavage, what are you worried about?" Dorothy shrugged.

"I didn't expect to be," Relena gave her a sour look. "I'm not you."

"Ah well, some of us have it," she teased.

That was the other reason she wanted to call Hilde. Her petite friend was much better at _commiserating_. "But normally I have a little more coverage," she pushed past it.

"Do you have gloves?" Dorothy asked.

"Yes, do you think that will help?" Looking over she found them still neatly pressed and packaged.

"Not a bit," she shook her head. "If anything they'll draw more attention to your shoulders."

Relena slumped, about ready to sit down and cry. "I just had to order this one," she grumbled at herself.

"I think you're making too much out of this. I think it's gorgeous. The pink is a little pale on you though. Maybe if Heero won't throw a fit about it, we'll gather up the girls and go get you a lotion treatment, give you some color for the night," Dorothy suggested.

"Does that really work?" she asked in spite of her predicament.

"Oh it's wonderful, it's the only way I wear white."

Relena tried to hold back the snicker but decided she didn't care. "…Making plans for that already, Lady Winner?"

Narrowing her eyes, Dorothy did not appear amused. "My, how scandalous of a political figure of her importance to be wearing something like _that_," she retorted.

"Oh, don't," she whimpered at the mean streak. "What am I going to do?"

"Bring it along, Miss Relena. We'll sit you down in female committee and decide from there. I have a man who can do anything with a piece of cloth that we can call in if need be."

"Really?" she hopefully asked.

"Yes," Dorothy nodded, adding the infamous smirk again. "After all, your poor dear boy will still be on duty," she heavily hinted.

Relena balled a hand over her heart as she embarrassedly tried to laugh it off.

"And, by the way, who is dressing your date for the evening?" Dorothy turned again to curiously conversational.

"I don't know," Relena shook her head. "He said he'd handle it."

Dorothy blinked at her from the screen. "What does that mean?"

Looking at her funny, she walked back to the phone. "Heero doesn't use a lot of cryptic poetry. It means he'll handle it," she shrugged.

"Ah," the other nodded. "So you're worried too."

Leaning over the desk again, she gave her friend a cringe. "I didn't say it."

* * *

Traveling by car was the obvious option for a relatively short trip like this. Andrew and Byron knew the roads intimately anyway, and were in the lead with Ry and Alli ahead of them, Heero scrutinizing their every action from his place next to Relena.

Pulling through town he carefully monitored their progress compared to the way he would have taken them and found that they knew a shorter route that still followed along with what he had learned of the area. Nothing suspicious.

It was a little odd by the time they bypassed most of the other housing districts and left the city proper for smooth brick streets and immaculately sculpted lawns. Mansions rose to either side of the road, and the area was expansively lined with four-story and above houses.

Passing a golf course and park area they continued on as the road gently wound up a hill, fewer, more elaborate houses being seen down the slopes. The road ended with a round turning area in front of two flanking gate posts supporting nothing but a couple mail boxes and a stone which read "Chateau du Brume Gris."

Turning in, Delano steered them along after their lead car and down a curved brick drive with almost nothing but trees at its side. Coming around the curve, the chateau finally came into view as they cleared the privacy tree line and ended up in front of a rising, six and a half story building. A manmade lake was framed up with the same gray rock that the house was built from as it ran along the side and back behind the extensive property line.

"Oh wow," Relena whispered from beside him, foregoing the papers she'd been reading along the way.

"Yeah, the blueprints did not do this justice," Delano added. He followed their leaders around the drive all the way past the front of the house and then turned back towards the end of the East Wing.

"And we wondered why Dorothy turned out that way," Relena teasingly chuckled.

"Hn."

* * *

Why did he agree to do this? Ry was stuck with Delano of all company in the front part of a salon and spa after hours in the near dark waiting for a group of giggly girls who were back there somewhere probably all nice and naked and sitting in a giant bubble bath!

Why was he complaining? Because he wasn't back there!

Alright, so if he were there Alli would shriek, pull her gun and shoot him anyway. And if she didn't, he was pretty sure that—naked or not—Dorothy and that Hilde lady would make sure he never had another male-motivated thought again. And poor Relena would scream like she was being tortured, which would instantly materialize Heero out of thin air to neatly snap his neck like a twig.

Yip. So instead, all he got to do was sit out here in the public area and wait for them, bored out of his mind and a little high off of the hairspray and perfume floating around the store. All the while he got to listen to the girls laugh with a couple playful shouts here and there, nothing else really getting past the walls.

And meanwhile Heero, Quatre and Duo had chickened out on them. Figuring Relena would be "safe" with just "limited guards" the three younger men had ducked out and left them. Although Ry would have been willing to pay for a ticket for the scene that had led to that, now he was stuck.

The three former Gundam pilots might be the nations' best-kept secret, but they were possibly the strangest group ever recorded, too. Duo—who Ry admittedly idolized—had been pushing Agent Yuy's buttons all day, and had been the main supporter for the girls to get a couple hours out, followed closely by Quatre. Of course, Quatre was not only getting viciously elbowed every time Heero wasn't look by Duo, but also getting a number of specific looks from Lady Catalonia as well. The poor man didn't have all that many choices.

Once here, Duo had pleasantly sent the girls on their way and then cajoled, pleaded, whined, tugged, and almost physically clawed the other two out of the building again. OK, mostly he tugged at Heero while Quatre sat in a chair on the opposite side of the room, either miserably holding his face in his hands or ducking his head for cover—Ry wasn't sure which at this point.

And so, the three had finally left again, Heero stating emphatically that they would be back before the girls were scheduled to be finished froufrourizing themselves. One hour and counting….

* * *

"I don't believe she's got you doing this," Duo stated again, making twirling motions with his hand as Heero, extremely agitated, complied and turned around again. "I expect this from Q, but seriously man…" he trailed out to chuckle.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Quatre asked from the chair beside the instigator.

"Ah, face it, you're stuck with this," Duo went on to pick on him instead for a minute.

"I think it looks nice," Quatre wisely sidestepped.

"So, where's yours?" Duo moved on, and Heero turned back hoping that they were finished with him.

Quatre blinked, "I don't have mine yet."

Duo balked enough to drop his feet off the extra chair they were propped up on. "You don't have your tux? You gotta' be kidding me. Dorothy's head's going to spin around."

Rolling his eyes, Quatre shook his head to get their over-reacting "friend" to shut up. "I've been measured for it. It's being done by the same person who made her dress. Dorothy probably has it somewhere."

Heero blinked a second and then exchanged a look with Duo, for the first time tonight possibly wondering the same thing.

"You're letting Dorothy dress you?" Duo snickered.

…No, still not thinking the same thing.

Quatre just sighed at the accusation.

"Is that normal?" Heero asked instead, wondering if he'd missed that piece of etiquette. This whole situation wasn't settling well with him. He had been working at understanding and complying with this type of role since he had actually started with Relena's security. But now that he was being cast onto the battlefield beside her, he was realizing just how unprepared he was.

With shrug though Quatre looked up at him again. "I don't think it matters. Dorothy just… figured it would work better this way."

"She doesn't trust you to pick out your own clothes, does she?" Duo laughed at him.

Cringing a little Quatre didn't really deny that.

"Welp, I do have to say you did better than I would have given you credit for," Duo nodded back to Heero. Adding his feet back to the extra chair, he cast a final look over the tuxedo he stood in. "Not bad at all."

"It looks nice," Quatre agreed, far more reassuringly. "I'm assuming that Relena's dress is pink?"

Looking down at the vest, Heero still wondering if it looked right as the pale pink covered the majority of his chest through the black of his jacket. Quatre had helpfully taught him how to adjust the back to tighten it a little around his frame. "She had fabric samples."

"Ah, smart man!" Duo nodded. "Even if you did let her get you in pink."

"Why does everyone I know have such a problem with that color?" Quatre mumbled.

Heero ignored them, wondering if he understood what he was about to undertake. He'd read the etiquette book that Mrs. Darlian had given him three times, along with several others, mentally highlighting items that were similar with what he had watched over the year with Relena. The tuxedo wasn't that difficult of an objective for this operation. He had picked a store around the capital weeks ago and the salesman had been helpful with determining the necessary attire.

Of course it did help that Heero had researched the last media covered formal function held at this estate, as well as three others in the surrounding area, and basically had a picture to show the man for what he needed.

And, although it was annoying and somewhat unnerving, it did add to his credibility that Duo and Quatre approved of the outfit. He felt assured that it would be sufficient.

…And that it wouldn't end up embarrassing Relena.

* * *

She just wanted a little reaction. It didn't have to be much. Just a little something. A minute pause in his speech would be wonderful. A quick blink, a double take, a momentary gape.

She wasn't asking for drool or stuttering… just something.

Something besides _"can you run in that?"_

Relena just wanted something. A little sign to tell her that maybe, just maybe, Heero actually found her… attractive. Pretty. She'd settle for cute even.

He'd never hinted that he had any sort of appreciation for her in any regard whatsoever except for her character and some of her ideas and beliefs. She knew that he cared for her, it was becoming easier for her to pick that out. He trusted her, and she appreciated that with all her heart.

Relena wasn't asking for anything more really. She didn't think she was being out of line to make herself pretty and hope that maybe he would think of her that way. Sometimes she just had a little self-doubt was all. It just nagged at her sometimes when she wasn't preoccupied.

It was funny, most women wanted a man that would care for them regardless of their physical appearance. Relena had one and she was complaining about it. Oh, she should be ashamed of herself.

Idly, she laid back against the side of the giant whirlpool. Dorothy's treat to the spa for them had been wonderful, and as promised Relena let the lady there lather her up a couple times from head to toe as she stood in nothing but some little stick-on paper under things. But she was very pleased by the results of the bronzing lotion treatment.

Coming back to the chateau again, Dorothy had promptly decided they deserved a dip in the whirlpool, conveniently located next to the swimming pool… in her basement. So, Dorothy had pulled out a number of bathing suits from somewhere in her closet. The girls had managed to find enough to clothe themselves in for a women-only soak, sweetly sponsored by Quatre and the Maguanacs who were guarding the other side of the doors against Duo and Ry.

The inside of the doors were being guarded by chairs under the doorknobs courtesy of Dorothy against her fan club of Maguanacs. …It seemed to be a double-edged sword for the affectionately dubbed "Mistress."

But Dorothy was emphatic about being left alone. Of course she had the worst time finding something that fit right considering her suits here at the house she no longer actually lived in were all two years old. She and Alli had ended up take the two-pieces, making due with stretching the materials and loudly complaining about it.

Hilde was still fighting to keep the straps from slipping off her shoulders, her shorter frame making the one-piece suit sag a little. So they giggled at her for her plight as well. Relena was mostly comfortable, only noting that the suit was riding up but the chest still looked kind of limp.

Alright, so she wasn't the most well-endowed woman in the pool. She wasn't ashamed of herself in the least. …A little envious once in a while, maybe, but not that she would admit to openly.

"I didn't even know it was humanly possible for someone to blush that color," Dorothy carried on as Relena came back to their conversation as the other women died laughing around her.

The other thing that she had become acutely aware of was that the three other women here were shameless flirts. Alli and Dorothy were having far too much fun toying with the "non-boyfriends" in their lives. Hilde seemed to just enjoy teasing Duo mainly to get back at him for his own antics, which she readily related back to them in every detail, keeping them laughing.

"One of these days Quatre's going to get you back for that," Hilde warned her.

Dorothy waved it off, accidentally spraying Relena's face with the drops of water.

"Oh, but they're so much more fun when they try," Alli added, laughing.

"Oh, no they're not," Hilde shook her head with a heavy sigh. "I'm running out of shoes to throw at Duo for the number of times he's tried some _stupid_ serenade from downstairs."

"What?" they all chimed in.

Hilde laughed with a nod. "His door is under my balcony which is beside my bedroom window. He has literally gone outside, even when my door was unlocked," she added with a sigh, "and tried to sing. And I stress _tried_."

The group cracked into all out giggles.

"Sing what?" Dorothy asked.

"Oh, it wasn't like this was rehearsed or anything, just whatever screwed up rhyme he could come up with. I'd swear he was drunk if I didn't know better," she rolled her eyes. "He's done this like three times."

"And you didn't record it?" Dorothy cried at her.

Hilde stopped, her eyes lighting up. "I never thought of that," she mumbled.

The others laughed again at her as the woman really made herself a mental note.

"I think I'm happy I don't have these problems," Relena muttered.

The other three cooed at her, teasing her once again.

"You know, before they get the cameras all working around the gardens you should take Heero out for a stroll," Dorothy heavily suggested, moving over closer to her side. "It'd be just like a walk in the park," she winked.

Relena gave her an annoyed expression before flicking water at her. It was too late though because Hilde had caught the reference too and began giggling her head off. Alli was actually the only one present that hadn't been told the story of the night Heero snuck her out of Representative Breshard's estate for a walk in the park.

Wiping the water drops off her face Dorothy gave her a bitter look. "I'm just saying it's quite nice this time of year. And you would not believe how much work I went through on that garden," she grumbled to herself. "The gazebo is set with lights and music if walk up there. It's romantic," she batted her eyes.

Raising an eyebrow, Relena chuckled at her. "And you did that because…?"

"Oh Quatre," Hilde mimicked in a breathy, squeaky voice before miming some extravagant kissing poses.

And she then got viciously splashed for it.

* * *

"Does our girl ever get out?" Duo asked again, lounged on the back couch of the second story library they had taken over as the security monitoring station. "You guys are holding her like she's going to run away. Which, if I were her, I would, just to piss you off."

Heero ignored him, but Quatre apparently gave him a quiet chiding to stop undermining their mission. "Duo, this is for her own protection. Miss Relena understands."

"That girl's got to get sick of this. Doesn't she get time off for good behavior?"

Quatre sighed at him and gave up. Heero's back was to them and the others as he watched the systems systematically flash red and then green again as a group of the Maguanacs went through the first floor and double checked that everything was in working order and locked down for the night.

There was nothing out of place and Heero was beginning to find himself agreeing with Quatre's assessment that there was no real threat still present here. Not that that made him less guarded. The very fact that they were in this area again rubbed on his nerves, and Duo's little side comments weren't helping.

And it really didn't settle well that he was right. Heero knew and fully understood that Relena deserved better than this. She didn't need to be guarded like a prisoner, locked in place every moment of the day. But she was far too important to allow anything to happen to.

That wasn't completely because of her position, or his job.

If he came to terms with all of the people in this house being allies, then Heero was willing to trust them to give her a little more space in the next few days. She seemed to be enjoying her time with the other girls. And with all of the work and worry Dorothy was putting into this, Heero was being to relax about leaving her in their hostess' care.

He realized now that asking in Duo and Hilde was probably a mistake and would only create more of a distraction. But Relena had been personally delighted with the idea, so he wouldn't count it as a total loss.

The Quatre, Dorothy and Andrew problem hadn't lit nearly as many sparks as he had figured it would. At least not yet. The three didn't end up in the same room together very often. Heero had decided that throwing Quatre and Andrew together for a few small items would determine if there was anything to worry about. The work on the gardens tomorrow would probably allow for that.

He had plans in place in case the two needed to be separated. Dorothy was the unknown variable. He couldn't control her movements since her position at running the house was far too important to the task at hand. Relena had felt sure that the elder blond would do nothing to aggravate the situation though.

Heero still didn't understand the circumstances like she seemed to. To him Andrew had lost his chance to do anything about it and should leave it be. Quatre, if actually disposed to it, had every right to pursue her.

Was he actually encouraging this? Duo and Hilde were bad enough of a couple to be around.

He'd let Relena's type of thinking influence him too much. All he typically had to worry about was Ry and Alli, who apparently still thought he hadn't noticed their increased involvement. Heero didn't exactly have any right to criticize them, and was content to stay out of it. The less they informed him of the better.

Actually, the less he knew about any of these people the better.

* * *

"Really we're only wondering where to set the head table. Most of the rest will be—"

"Maxwell!"

The shriek from down the hall immediately halted Quatre's explanation of the ballroom layout. With a mortified sigh, the man in front of them hung his head and rubbed his eyes for a second before turning to find Hilde walking over to his side.

The two had been fielding the Catalonia/Maxwell feud all day and they were already wearing thin on their patience with their significant others. From the corner of the room, Andrew and Byron threw looks at the doorways to the hall and back at each other before visually deciding they weren't getting involved in that.

"Maybe we'll finish this tomorrow," Quatre pleasantly told Heero and Relena.

"If I ripped that stupid braid off would I actually find a brain under it?" Dorothy moaned.

"You're just jealous that your best hair is in your eyebrows!" Duo's apparently threw back at her.

Without paying attention Quatre and Hilde turned to each other and silently played a game of "rock, paper, scissors;" Quatre losing. Gently setting his data pad down, he turned purposefully and walked towards the doors to the hallway where the voices were echoing down.

"At least I have good hair!"

"Oh yeah? Bite me!"

"You'd like that, you flee-bitten, junkyard rat."

"Oh, excuse me your high, mighty cockroach-ness! I didn't realize I was invading your palace."

"Aw, poor, _poor_ little Grim. You just feel out of place in a house that actually has a roof don't you?"

"Why you snotty, little, arrogant…."

Quatre's hands had balled into agitated fists at his sides by the time he specifically walked to the first of the doorways of the expansive ballroom. Turning around the corner out of sight down the hallway, it suddenly went very quiet.

Hilde was still beside them and gave a displaced chuckle at the scene. "I think he's going to need back up," she pointed that direction before flashing them a smile and running off after him.

Andrew and Byron both watched Hilde leave before walking over the far doorway they were next to and peeking out down the hall too.

"Do you think we should worry?" Relena asked, hiding a little behind Heero's arm.

"No."

Looking up at him, she blinked. "Are you sure?"

"No."

"Q, you're supposed to be on my side!" Duo's trailing voice was heard from obviously farther away.

"Still want to see the gardens?"

"Love to," Relena nodded vigorously.

* * *

"I think I'm impressed," Relena stated to the fountain that stood before her. The scattered lights that accented the pathways and fountains and garden walls illuminated the spray of water down pink, flower shaped tiers. "I can see why she wanted to have the gardens open for the guests."

"It will make it difficult," he responded, still searching the dim paths for anything suspicious.

"The others don't seem worried," she countered. "Besides, you'll be close by," she turned to face him with a smile before she stepped past him to walk up the steps to the massive gazebo's circular section.

At the far point of the gardens from the house, the gazebo area acted as the bridge between the garden and large lawn that tapered down to the edge of the lake that ran like a moat around this place. The walls that enclosed the massive gardens extended in on either side, allowing this lattice-pillared frame to stand like a doorway. On either side stood other areas with benches and swings and patio areas, but the central area was left mainly open to the view in both directions.

Relena slowly sauntered up to stand on the raised platform of the floor, her frame highlighted by the scattered glow of the garden lights and the small moon overhead. Heero watched her from below, only a few steps away.

Stepping a little further in, she seemed to be searching for something before she turned around to him. "Dorothy said there were supposed to be automatic lights out here. I guess they must have disconnected them when they set up the area."

"Possible," Heero nodded. There was a touch of pride that threatened to make him smile at the fact that Relena was learning far more about security systems and equipment than she probably ever meant to.

Humming to herself Relena turned back around, lacing her hands behind her back as she took in the view of the lake beyond. Still, he only watched her. The light breeze was tugging at her hair now and then, but she had it back in a ponytail again. Being casual today, she had on a pair of slacks and simple button-down shirt that fitted around her.

The sight was enough to ease the thoughts he'd had lately.

She stepped over to the side where a swinging bench was positioned and sat down on the cushion, rocking it slowly back and forth as she lounged sideways to look out towards the lake. "It's so pretty tonight," she mumbled.

Heero silently agreed as he slipped up after her and came to lean against the support for her swing to watch the same direction she was.

"It feels nice to be out."

Relena still really didn't deserve to feel closed in so much. "It'll get easier," he tried to reassure her.

"Oh, I'm not complaining," she brushed it off. "I understand. It takes a lot for you guys to put up with lugging me around everywhere too," she made light of it. "This isn't easy on you either."

This function wasn't going to be. He had a number of doubts that were surfacing and no real way to prepare for, or eliminate, them. Watching her sway slowly back and forth in front of him, Heero didn't know how to tell her that either. "Are you sure about me?"

Relena swayed to a stop and turned to look up at him. "What do you mean?"

Steeling his resolve, he reminded himself to trust her once more. "Escorting you," he clarified.

She added a hand over her mouth, but he still heard her chuckle. "Am I actually making you nervous?" she teased him.

She had been around the others too long already. "Yes."

Relena turned and tucked her feet up on the swing, looking up at him still. "Don't be," she warmly told him. "It won't be nearly as bad as you think. You'll get a lot of questions because it will be the first time you're meeting with these people. Just be courteous, you're getting very good at that anyway. I'll be there, I promise."

It was enough to get a smirk to his face. Their roles would be reversed for that section of the night. It would probably come down to her shielding him. "I'll try," he promised.

"Don't worry so much," she shook her head at him. "There isn't a person on that guest list whom I honestly care what they think about us personally." Standing back up she slipped in, her hands sliding around his sides. "I'm really happy that you're going with me," she almost whispered, her head bowed.

It was all he needed to know. Reaching an arm around her, he pulled her in tighter. His other hand raised her chin to look up at him, the dim light providing more than ample outlines. Lowering his face to hers she responded in kind as he kissed her. It was simply all he needed. He'd find a way for her.

Backing away, he caught the glint of light that reflected off her pendant, which hung at the hollow of her throat still. The open neck of her shirt wasn't usual and it was rare that it showed through her attire.

But it always seemed to be there.

Moving his hand from her chin, he brushed his fingers up over her cheek and then down to her jaw and neck as he unabashedly traced the line of her collar until he brushed the pendant itself. Heero felt a little shiver pass through her and wondered at it a second before he found her eyes centered on his still. "I never told what this is," he quietly admitted.

Relena seemed to blink in the dim lighting, her eyes not quite distinguishable enough to determine if she was surprised. "What it is?" she asked.

He nodded once to her. Moving his hand again, he brought it up to carefully brush a lock of her hair off her shoulder and back behind her with the rest, electing a stuttering in her breath. An interesting reaction….

"It's gundanium," he informed her.

"I figured that out," she quietly responded.

"It's called a locking pin," he continued. "It's used in cockpit harnesses."

That did seem to surprise her. "Then this is from…?"

Again he nodded. "It was a spare piece I found when erasing the safe houses and my aliases." He paused, debating with himself a moment. "I wasn't sure you'd accept it if you knew."

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked without hesitation. "You said it was to remind me of my strength, but this was yours."

With a smile, he looked down at her. Her ideas of herself were still far too innocent. And they should be. "I've told you that you're stronger than I am. You still are," he confessed. "You're stronger than anything like this," he glanced down at the pendant again.

"Then you still don't understand," she refuted him. "Heero, you are still my strength. You always have been," she whispered.

He didn't get the chance to correct her though as she leaned in to kiss him, her touch much more demanding than usual as her grip tightened around him.

* * *

In the dark shadows next to the house another couple had a cozy little spot behind a row of hedge bushes. Huddled close together they whispered in hushed tones to each other until the moment fit so perfectly into both of their imaginings that it could be nothing but the perfect time.

"Now," she breathed, too afraid to say anything louder and interrupting the moment.

He complied with her wishes, his smile his only response besides the press of his hand…. "What the—?"

"What?" she asked, worried sounding.

Again his hand moved and then again and again. "It's not working," he said back.

There was a long, disgusted sigh from her.

"It's not my fault," he whispered back, trying and trying again.

"You moron," she sighed again. "How could you possibly screw it up?"

"It's not my fault!" he repeated, shifting the switch in his hands and fiddling with the transmitter on the end.

"All I ask for is a man who can perform on cue," she bitterly whispered to herself.

"I had it set and double-checked," he defended.

"Oh, give it to me!" she hissed.

He grudgingly handed the little thing over and she tried pressing it a couple times with the same result. "See," he huffed.

"You had one job," she near-mutely screamed at him. "One! And you can't even do it right."

"Don't yell at me, this was your stupid idea, you should have had a backup plan."

"My backup plan involves hurting you!"

The frenzied whispers were interrupted by the specific clearing of someone's throat from directly above them.

Both froze immediately, the hair—if it were visible on either—on the back of their necks stood on end at the sound. After a second of silence both let out a simultaneous curse, still in their whispered tones, before very meekly turning and looking up at the gentleman who stood leaning over the patio railing behind the flower planter, watching them.

Once he had their attention, he calmly opened the palm of his hand and then slowly turned it over to allow the contents to fall onto the ground just behind their scrunched position.

Both of the conspirators watched it fall as if mesmerized and then got a good look at it through the dark night as it lay on the dirt. A receiver that had, until it's removal, spliced the switch in her hand to the switch on the gazebo's soft paper lanterns and sound system lay innocently on the ground of the flowerbed.

The two stared at it a moment before looking back at each other and then again up to the man at the railing. He, in turn, placed his hand back to cross his arms and continued to lean against the marble posts directly above them.

* * *

Hilde maneuvered down the hallway, still getting her bearings in the hopelessly huge place. She was tired of watching Alli and Ry play chest together, which was anything but exciting, and had realized that she had once again lost track of the others.

Stopping at an open doorway with the lights on, she looked in, finding the scene that greeted her a little odd. Duo and Dorothy both sat together on a loveseat that was set against the far wall. Duo was laid back, both arms behind him and spread out on the back cushions his legs outstretched. Dorothy sat right beside him, one leg curled under her as she slouched forward, her hands in her lap.

Both were following Quatre's constant pacing with their eyes as he wore a groove into the floor in front of them. The man wasn't saying a word, only pacing back and forth like he was stuck on an invisible track, but the two only watched, dejected and looking miserable.

Hilde took a second look around the room, finding no one else in sight and no explanation for the scene. For once there was nothing broken or disturbed, no one was bleeding that she could tell, she hadn't heard any yelling or screaming lately….

Shrugging she figured there was only one way to find out. Walking in she got Quatre to stop pacing and quickly gave the other two something else to look at. Which for some reason only made Duo go pale.

But by the time Quatre had calmly filled her in on the two's latest antics, the yelling and screaming had started.

* * *

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends." – Walt Whitman. 


	28. Chapter 28

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 28

Relena shuffled out of her room again, too tired to willingly pick up her feet any more than necessary. Deciding room arrangements had been a last ticket item as the group searched the property to have everything in place and the thing secured like a palace.

Of course with her group, Quatre, Dorothy, a collection of Maguanacs, and Duo and Hilde, it had been quite late before they all turned in anyway.

Relena left her room in what Dorothy called the "family apartment" in a circular area at the back of the house. Leaving the door open so that anyone in the world could keep track of the fact that she wasn't where her assigned schedule said she should be, she crossed the common living room at the center of the area.

She only got bitter about things like that when she was tired.

However, she stopped herself in front of the door across the way from hers and remembered that Alli had now taken Dorothy's childhood room that the group had been in a couple times today. Scanning the other doors, she mentally named a couple of the occupants but still didn't remember where they had actually cast the lady of the house.

Shrugging, she turned around to the central double doors of the master bedroom and was not surprised to see a crack of dim blue light coming from under the doors. It was either moonlight or the infamous laptop… and she was betting on the latter.

Giving the door a soft knock so she wouldn't disturb the whole place, she was rewarded with one of the double doors opening and her beloved Agent Yuy still fully dressed. Quickly he gave her a look over, scanned the rest of the room, and then focus on her in the time it took her to take a breath to speak.

Relena would never use the word paranoid with him. …But sometimes he warranted it.

"Heero, what room did we put Dorothy in?" she asked, skipping directly to the point as had become her necessary custom.

"Across the hall, one door to the right," he answered, giving her a curious look.

"Thank you," she nodded, turning towards the hallway door. "I need a chart," she grumbled to herself.

There was a little "hn" from the door as she turned away, reminding her of something.

"Oh." Turning back again, she stepped up to him and quickly pecked a kiss on his lips, "Thank you." That was better.

"Hn."

She didn't turn away too quickly to miss the start of a little smirk at the corner of his mouth.

"Just need to chat, I won't be long," she tossed back at him as she left, knowing he wouldn't even close his door until she was safely tucked back where she belonged.

Leaving the rounded, turret-styled area of the house for the proper hallway, she vaguely placed Quatre behind the door she stood facing, either Duo or Hilde was to the left, the other just beyond that. Dorothy was to the right then, and that would place Andrew and Byron in the next two and the other rooms were assortments of the Maguanacs.

Some of who were obviously not asleep as she could hear a couple muffled voices here and there through the hallway.

This was fun. Granted she still felt a little caged but for the most part she was completely among friends, and that was truly nice.

Knocking on Dorothy's door Relena idly tried to remember what it was that she actually wanted after all of this. Oh, yes.

But still there was no answer to her knock. She didn't figure the woman had passed out from hostess exhaustion quite that fast. Knocking again, she waited and listened for any sound from the room beyond. Nothing responded to her.

Typically she would have had no problem waltzing into the room without invitation to determine if she was indeed just cowering in a corner from all of this. But with Quatre also in the immediate vicinity, she wasn't sure the woman would be alone.

Not that she expected the two to be in any compromising position… a lengthy "discussion" about something as fruitless as wallpaper paste maybe, but nothing compromising.

On that cheery thought she turned back the way she'd come and decided to try Quatre's room. More than likely either she would be there or he would know where she was.

What did she want to ask her again? Oh, yeah.

Knock, knock, knock. Nothing. Knock, knock, knock, knock. Still nothing.

Alright, that meant they were probably out somewhere together. Big surprise.

A muffed burst of a voice from the room to her left startled her just before Hilde flung the door open and marched out down the hall. Duo appeared at the opened doorway right behind her. "Hil—" That was all the farther he got before she evilly laughed at him over her shoulder and promptly opened the next door down and then closed it behind her.

With a grumbled sigh Duo slumped, comically smacking his head on the doorframe before going back inside and closing his door. Neither one had bothered to note her presence at the opposite side of the hall.

Forget it, it would wait for morning. Relena refused get herself lost in the house looking for Dorothy and she wasn't about to go try to comfort Duo for whatever was going on there. Turning back she reentered the living area of the apartment just as Ry was quietly sneaking out of his room—no, Alli's room. Carefully clicking the door shut, he turned towards his own which was next to hers when he spotted Relena.

The two stopped and stared at each other a second before Ry threw a purposeful look towards the open doorway to her room and back again. And Relena raised an eyebrow and pointedly looked towards the door he still had a hand on the doorknob to.

Relena figured he got the point because he flashed her a smile. "Well, goodnight," he quietly mumbled to her as they stepped past each other.

"Goodnight," she returned.

Ry had slunk into his room before she reached Heero's door, which was of course propped open about six inches. Pushing it open, she peeked around it to find him pecking away at his computer, the rest of the lights off.

Figuring she may as well join the club Relena slipped in, getting him to look up at her from his work. Walking over to his spot at the desk she leaned down to give him a little backwards hug around his shoulders. "Do you know what's really frightening about this place?"

Obviously curious he placed a hand over her arms around him and waited for her to continue as she happily squeezed his shoulders.

"We're actually the most normal couple in here," she giggled.

* * *

"I like it." 

"I love it."

"It is a little out of character."

Relena sighed.

"Female committee" wasn't all it was cracked up to be. So far Hilde was so starry-eyed impressed with everything around this place that she couldn't tell if she was serious or not. Alli had seen most of her other attire and still thought this was fine, which was some consolation. And Dorothy was being… Dorothy-ish, but helpful.

"I agree though," Hilde piped in. "The bronzing lotion was a great choice."

"I still don't like the gloves," Alli added.

The others nodded and Relena grudgingly took them off again. Facing the mirror, she stood in the pale pink dress. It was strapless, with princess seams that opened just past her waist to give two depths to the full skirt that swished around her. The inner areas of the skirt had the same tonal beadwork that covered the high, empire line of her bodice. The neckline was straight wrapping almost directly under her armpits, giving it a modest height.

It was simple but elegant, as she usually preferred. But when your main audience was distinguished men over fifty—and their wives….

"Alright," Dorothy interrupted her scrutiny, obviously seeing where her mind was going. Bouncing off the bed her judges were lounged on, the taller girl walked up behind her, careful not to step on the same beaded cloth that hung all the way down the back and extended just a couple inches as a train. "How well do you like this bow?"

At the top of the back was a large bow of cloth, just before the train started and Relena tried to turn sideways to see it. "I like it."

"What if we took it off and make a shawl out of it instead? Or some little capped sleeves?"

"Can we do that?" she asked.

"Like I said, I have someone that can do anything with cloth," Dorothy nodded.

"Apparently," Hilde giggled at her, throwing a look over to the corner of their hostess' room where the gown hung over the closet door for her, still encased in clear plastic.

Casting it a look too Relena crinkled her nose. "I don't know why I'm worried about mine so much."

Dorothy just gave them an evil giggle.

* * *

"I don't believe they blackmailed us into doing this," Duo grumbled again. "Quatre used to be nice, you know. This is all your fault." 

"My fault?" Dorothy went incredulous. "You're the idiot who didn't think about him finding the receiver."

"How was I supposed to know he'd check?" he threw back. "He was on to us before this anyway."

"Because _someone_ slipped up and told him we were plotting months ago," she snipped.

"It wasn't my fault," he bitterly grumbled. "Hilde didn't know she couldn't trust him with it."

"Maybe you should learn to control your girlfriend better," Dorothy tried, but her voice broke into a laugh.

"Oh yeah? Maybe if you'd gone all sweet and lovey, your boyfriend wouldn't have sentenced us to death by boredom of napkin folding."

"What are you complaining about? You haven't folded one yet," she growled.

She was right. Duo sat in front of a place setting with a wadded up looking lump of a pink, brocade dinner napkin that he was somehow supposed to be folding to look like a rose. "Why is it only rich people think napkins need to look like something besides a napkin? How are people supposed to use these things if they're all folded up anyway?" he grumbled, poking at the thing and comparing it to the five Dorothy had already completed.

"They unfold them, genius."

"Well then what's the point?" he shrugged it off. "Save them time and just throw them on the plate."

"Grimace, fold the napkins!" she bit off each word before finishing the one she was on and moving to the next table.

"Hey, no name-calling, brows," he threw back at her. "You heard them. And I'm pretty sure that Hilde's serious. She'll go straight to Relena. And I don't want to know what happens when we finally piss Q off."

"Oh, he's not mad, he's toying with us," Dorothy returned, taking a chair at the table behind him. "Which is what pisses me off," she added bitterly.

"Ah, you're so cute together, you know that?" he laughed.

"Shut up, Maxwell."

With a miserable groan, Duo looked back at the cloth and then picked it up and shook it out. "This is so not fair. How do you do this again?"

With a heavy sigh, the chair scooted back again, bumping into his on purpose. "You are so helpless."

"Yeah," he glared up at her as she stepped in over his shoulder, "you can tell I want to remember this as a life-long skill."

For once Dorothy actually cracked an honest chuckle at him and rolled her eyes before positioning the napkin and showing him again. "Tuck all the corners to the middle, then tuck all the new corners to the middle," she explained as her hands expertly folded the gaudy fabric. "Then hold onto it and turn it over," she scooped it up and laid it back down on the other side. "Then fold all the corners in again. And then reach under and pull up the petals, and then the leaves."

When it was finished, it did make kind of a cute rendition of a square-ish flower.

"Then you take the ribbons and put them in the middle," she added, pulling four strips of the thin, red, ribbon candy from one of several boxes around. "And no eating them," she immediately chided.

"You're really ruining all the fun of this trip," he muttered at her.

"I'll let you have the leftovers," she sighed and roughly patted his shoulder as she turned away to the next table.

"Cool," he agreed, standing to follow her. "How many do we have to do?" he paused to look over the collection of round tables in the room.

"There are two hundred and thirty-two place settings," she sighed. "And we just did six."

Slumping in misery, Duo sat down next to her and starting folding corners of the stupid cloth. "This was so not worth it."

"Oh, I don't know," Dorothy hummed. "The two were really quite sweet."

"Yeah," he sighed, casting her a smirk and getting one back in return. "Who knew he had it in him?" he shook his head.

"I think they're getting to be quite cozy. If those little kissies were any indication, they are moving along nicely," she mused to herself.

"Nicely?" Duo balked. "I didn't even think the man knew how to kiss. This is years ahead of what I gave him credit for."

Giving him a dumb look, Dorothy blinked. "They've been kissing since Mars."

"They what?" he cried, losing his hold on the half finished napkin.

"I got that out of her months ago," Dorothy waved it off and continued on with her work, adding the candy and moving to the next chair. "You're really not very good at gathering intel are you?"

"Out of Heero? What do you think?" he bitterly muttered.

"True," she conceded.

"Mars…?" he shook his head, really not believing that. "What do ya know?"

"Must just be the adrenaline rush in the thick of things," she shrugged. "I suppose I can see that. Especially with your types," she giggled.

"Very funny." Rolling his eyes he started over on the napkin again. "…Wait. What do you mean 'your types?'"

There was a suspiciously evil giggle from her as she just continued along, finishing the next place and adding the ribbons.

"Dorothy," he specifically watched her. "How 'friendly' are you getting with Quatre?" he asked, a mischievous grin lighting his face.

"I wasn't talking about him at all," she went on, never looking up. "Although I suppose he fits the pattern," she paused and then shrugged to herself and carried on.

Wait a minute. There was a little too much information there. One, she almost admitted to it. Two, who was she actually talking…. "What do you know?" he asked, his voice uncharacteristically deadpan.

Dorothy rose from the chair and scooted over another place. "About what?" she asked innocently.

Quatre and Hilde picked the wrong time to randomly pop in to check on their captives' progress.

"Babe!" he yelled at her. "How could you?"

She stopped and looked back at him in abandon. "What did I do?"

Dorothy began happily humming to herself.

* * *

"Dorothy, I need more candy thingies." 

"Of course, dear. Here you are," she handed the box between the tables to Duo.

"Thank you," he responded and went back to work on the napkin folding.

And Relena stopped dead in her tracks and stared at them. She couldn't possibly have heard that right.

Looking around the room for a camera or a dimensional vortex of some sort, she noted that probably about half the tables were completely readied for the guests aside from the fresh flower centerpieces. She passed the ballroom twice now and each time Dorothy and Duo were the only two in here working on setup.

Which had been weird enough.

"Well, Miss Relena, what do you think?" Dorothy asked.

"It looks lovely. I really appreciate this," she shook it off and moved up to the table she was seated at and looked over her shoulder as she folded the napkins.

"Of course," Dorothy waved it off. "I have so much _good_ help around."

"Ah, _anything_ for a pal," Duo returned with a smile.

"Alright…" Relena looked back and forth, "what's gotten into you two?"

"Oh, Quatre and Hilde just sweetly decided that Mr. Maxwell and I needed a little more quality time together," Dorothy confessed. "Nothing to worry about," she waved it off and then rose to move to the next place.

With a laugh, Relena shook her head in abandon. This group was priceless. "Well, I'm certainly happy to see you both being so cordial to each other."

Both of them looked up to stare at her without saying a word.

"Um… can I help?" she asked instead, figuring she'd better bypass the compliments.

For a second neither answered as they turned to look at each other. "I don't see why not," Dorothy smiled back. "This is going to take all night as it is."

Watching over her shoulder Relena followed Dorothy's instructions on how to fold the napkins and then settled herself down at the next table and quickly tried it herself, getting it to mostly look right. "The candy ribbons are a cute touch," she chuckled to herself as she found an unopened box and set them in the center to weight down the napkin flower.

"I thought they were nice. Originally I was going to use these are the place card holders, but we decided against those."

"A room full of politicians will be interesting anyway," Relena quietly sighed. "Someone is always on the wrong side of someone."

"That's why we leave these things to you, beautiful," Duo added. "You're the only one who can handle these types."

Handle these types…. "Dorothy, I've been meaning to ask you about your work with the Mars project."

"Mars? What about it?"

Frowning at the way her second flower was coming out, she stole a glance at the one Dorothy made on the other table. "Quatre said you were on the Satellite earlier because the shipping lines were unreliable. Is that typical?"

"Typical?" she snorted. "It's an everyday occurrence. We got rid of the last company and should have the next one in place in two weeks," Dorothy offered. "It'll be the fourth company we've gone through so far. We'll see if they can meet the demand."

"So, it's demand that's the problem?" she asked curiously. If they already couldn't supply the people that were on the small Mars colony it would be pointless to try to add to their numbers.

"Basically," the other nodded. "We can't keep enough ships running back and forth over that kind of distance to keep everything steady."

"You need your own shipping line," Duo popped in. "'Cause it's only going to get worse. Mars' orbit is headed away from Earth, not towards us."

Relena stopped, ignoring the half-finished napkin on the plate in front of her. "Our own shipping line," she whispered. "Our own bridge."

"Good luck," Dorothy sniffed. "Do you have any idea what type of manpower and equipment you're talking about? Startup costs on for a cargo line would be horrendous."

"How much equipment would it take?" Relena quickly asked, looking over at her.

Dorothy looked up from her work and blinked at her a second in confusion. "What?"

"How much equipment?" she repeated.

The other woman obviously figured out not to argue the validness of the question. "Currently we contract three runs a week from the Satellite. That's basically five ships enroute between here and there at most times."

"So five ships," she reasoned.

"Depends on the size of the ships and how much they can hold, but that's basically what we're getting away with," the other nodded. "But Duo's right, the longer it takes for the ships to get between here and there, the more we're going to need to add to the running number. And that doesn't account for breakdowns and equipment upkeep."

"Do you know any specifics?" Relena continued, filing all of this away. "What size of ship are we talking about and how much?"

Dorothy gave her an odd look again but shook her head. "That's not something I've done any research on. Are you honestly considering this?"

"Could be cheaper in the long run," Duo added in, leaning back in his seat and obviously taking a break from his task. "Those kinds of ships aren't cheap, but they're solid. Crew and fuel and a little maintenance will be your only costs once they're paid for. They'll last twenty, twenty-five years before they start giving you major problems."

"Really?"

"Sure," he nodded. "But those things are _expensive_ and they don't just get cranked off the line either. Any of the few manufacturers have waiting lists a year and a half long."

That wasn't what Relena wanted to hear. She knew this idea would take time to assess and convince the other Representatives of, but that was pushing her desired timeline way too far.

"Schedules can always be re-adjusted," Dorothy flippantly disregarded the idea. "It may just cost you a bit extra."

"We were able to get the crew carriers," Relena remembered. "That didn't take too long."

"These will be larger but simpler," Dorothy replied. "Lots of big, open areas and bulk storage bins."

"Yeah, but you're talking about creating your own workforce too," Duo shook his head. "An extended trip like that with loading and unloading staff and a maintained department. That's a hundred to two hundred people on the floor and a crew of a like fifty per ship, per flight. You can't cycle people like you do machinery."

"Not the issue," Relena shook her head and rose to her feet. "I have the people," she stated, and quickly walked towards the doors, her thoughts once again caught up completely with the problem. "Thank you."

The other two watched her go until she entered the hallway and turned out of sight.

"That was a bit odd," Dorothy murmured.

"Hey, you can't complain about me not doing enough of these things," Duo sighed, glancing over at the one finished flower Relena had made.

"Come on, Grimmy. I know there's a coffee cake hidden in the kitchen and I think we deserve a break," Dorothy rose to her feet and stretched.

"Now you're starting to make me like you," he happily jumped up after her.

"Imagine what that means to me."

* * *

"Stay close to the girls," Quatre advised. 

Heero was once again trying to get the vest sized down so that it didn't bunch in the front when his jacket was unbuttoned. Looking up, he gave the other man a curious look.

With a smile, Quatre shrugged. "Just trust me." Chuckling, he circled around and tried working with the vest for him. "Dorothy and Relena have a lot more experience than we do."

Heero filed that away as the other man tightened the elastic strap through back and got it to stay buttoned in place at his side.

The door to Relena's room opened and closed as Dorothy walked out, passing them with a catty little hum. "We need to get you boys in formal attire more often."

Passing by she headed out of the apartment, the bathrobe she had wrapped around her over the floor length skirt getting Byron to laugh outright as he stepped out of the way to let her pass. "Ah, the fuzzy bathrobe," he teased. "It's just not a special occasion without this thing. Didn't that used to be pink?"

"Probably the last time you saw it," he woman mumbled over her shoulder as she passed.

Turning, Heero gave Quatre a look, wondering again what is was that obviously interested him about her.

With a weary sigh, Quatre shook his head, "I don't know."

* * *

"How'd you get him to wear pink?" Hilde asked out of nowhere. 

"What?" Relena looked up at her in the mirror she was seated in front of.

"Even if it is just a vest, if I tried to do that to Duo he'd curl up in a corner and suck his thumb," she rolled her eyes.

Relena tried to keep her laugh down, afraid if she moved too much the curling iron Hilde was brandishing would end up on her neck.

"OK, maybe not that bad," she relented. "But still, how'd you do it?"

Unable to shrug or shake her head, she blinked at the other woman's reflection. "It's Heero. I could have picked florescent orange and he wouldn't have cared. He's not really one to complain."

"I envy you," Hilde gave her a sour look and then removed the ringlet and clicked off the iron. "I think I'm done!" Grabbing the mirror she held it up and Relena tried to get an idea of what the back of her head looked like.

"It's great. Thank you," she nodded her approval.

"Knock him dead," Hilde giggled with a wink.

Rolling her eyes, Relena stood and smoothed out her dress again. Dorothy's designer had been snuck in this morning to take a good look at the dress, and as suggested he removed the bow from the back and somehow managed to use the bead encrusted fabric to create sleeves. Two pieces of fabric rose from either side of her arms and was tacked so that they split open down the center and hung about three inches down her arms.

They were cute, and for a last minute adjustment she was more than grateful to the odd little man. No one would know they were supposed to be there, and she felt significantly better with the little added cloth up top.

Hilde unplugged the curling iron and then opened the door for her, loudly humming "Here Comes the Bride" ahead of her. With a laugh Relena could only follow. And it did serve to at least get Quatre to crack up laughing.

She exited her room and swished into the living area. Meeting Heero's eyes, she gave him a small curtsey before walking over to him. And she did smile when he blinked before extending a hand to her.

"Agent Yuy," she nodded politely. "Mr. Winner," she included Quatre, who returned her smile.

"Vice Minister," he nodded back.

"Miss Darlian," Heero made a formal bow once she had taken his hand and picked a kiss on her knuckles.

Relena stood shocked as he rose again to look at her. Wow. When did he learn that?

There was no mistaking his smirk when he saw her expression either.

* * *

"Actually I'd like to see the Mars terra-forming project advance farther. It isn't an idea I have brought before the committee yet, but I'm positive that it would bring together a larger group of individuals who are looking for a home and willing to work in that type of environment." 

Advance farther? Heero gave her a sideways look, not expecting that.

So far this event was typical with no suspicious activity among the guests. The only thing completely out of place in this ridiculous display was him. Dinner was finished, and the speeches from Relena and Minister Wellington had been quick and jokingly light in this crowd of supporters. Now it was meet and greet, and he was beginning to feel caged in from all sides.

This was a test of not only the manners he'd tried to pick up through second hand sources, but also of his patience. The conversations all blurred together and they held very little interest to him at all.

It didn't matter who they spoke to, he seemed to be the inquiry of the night. Relena had prepared him for that, but he was still having difficulty following up the questions with appropriate enough answers to dodge being the center of attention.

"You mean you're thinking of expanding the project?" the lady in front of them asked, the collected figureheads finding the statement of interest. "What purpose would that serve? Aren't there enough workers there to begin the phases as planned?"

"There are, but the timing will be very long with the numbers we now have. The possibility of opening the project up again and allowing others to sign on is very good. But I've recently heard of another need that should be addressed before that," Relena skillfully tied the attention of the group to herself. "Our resource lines over that kind of distance are breaking down. Currently I'm set to address the committee next week about looking into creating our own shipping service between here and Mars."

Heero again was surprised by this entire conversation. He'd known Relena was worried about the project and had been dwelling on it since Quatre informed them that Dorothy was re-negotiating the shipping contracts. But this was something unexpected. Why all of sudden?

"That would be a very large task to take upon a project that is already a substantial expense to government funding," another ventured.

"I know that," she nodded. "But in the long run I think I can say that it will be cheaper to operate. It will also serve to bridge Earth and Mars indefinitely, and that is never something we can overlook."

A bridge. Relena's worried about something coming. Heero quietly stayed at her side and listened. Bringing this up socially wasn't something she typically did. But with the earnest notes in her voice, he was sure she would move on this as soon as she possibly could.

But to open Mars again to contract labor for the remaining four years of the project…? He wasn't sure he could agree to that or not right now. The idea of creating their own resource lines wasn't a bad one. Regardless of what else came, it was a reasonable decision.

"I see," the lady once again nodded. "It is quite possible that could be the case. After the project finishes, we would already have a profitable entity in place for the beginnings of the government offices."

"We shouldn't wait that long," Relena shook her head even though those around her were nodding in approval.

"Wait that long for what?" another asked.

"To begin setting the political offices in place," she clarified. "Especially if we establish these shipping lines as the first Mars based business instead of Earth based, the territory will need representation for the amount of people involved."

"Territory?"

"Amount of people? How much will this increase the numbers?

"Mars based instead?"

The Mars territory. Relena was trying to fold it into the Government in its youngest, fledgling stage. It was right direction. Allowing the same rights up front to the citizens there would make it easier to keep relations strong and open. Someone besides just Relena will be ensuring the two stayed on good terms.

She wouldn't allow the breaks to form that had torn the Earth and the Colonies apart and sent them towards war. The edge of pride entered his thoughts as the conversation drifted on and Relena easily won over the group around her, even if this was only a social setting.

Heero had never been able to see her like this before. It was… enlightening.

* * *

Politicians. How did they keep from falling asleep standing up at these things? There wasn't even any good gossip being whispered around. Granted there was a nice chatter about Heero that she could steal herself into, but for the most part Dorothy was tired of playing the diligent hostess. 

She had checked in with Andrew on the patio, more to rest her own mind for a while than to see how the security grid was doing. Leaving that mildly uncomfortable situation, she had walked into another one as she entered the ballroom again and found her escort for the night waltzing with another of her former acquaintances. Well, Quatre was fine.

She spotted Relena across the floor at the edge of a group and….

Dorothy paused and scanned the group again, coming up empty a second time. Where did Heero run off to? It wasn't like—uh oh.

A little ways away from Relena another four people stood gathered, a familiar disarray of dark brown hair at the edge of it out of her line of sight. They'd gotten separated then. No wonder Relena was inching towards that direction and out of her conversation group.

Dorothy and Quatre had both been trying to keep an eye on their socially inept friend tonight. To his credit, she would willingly admit that Agent Yuy had surprised her outright by his attempts at courtesy. Terribly unpracticed, but no one expected him to be Prince Charming.

It was really quite fun to watch him try to dodge the normal questions of where he was from and what he did before joining the Preventers. Especially at his age, it was a true curiosity for most here.

Deciding to get closer she made a quick round of hellos to groups here and there as she kept him in sight. Relena wasn't getting away from her captor conversation, and Heero probably didn't know enough of how to politely ease himself out of a situation like this.

Once she got around the dance floor, she caught a worried glance from Quatre as he left the floor as well, but she was already approaching the group. And if the balled fist of Heero's left hand was an indication of his mood, she hadn't arrived any too early.

It was a good thing most politicians were too self-engrosses to notice obvious tells like that.

"You mean you're not allowed to say that either?" one gentlemen snidely commented.

"No," came Heero's quiet answer even though the group wasn't paying attention for an answer.

"Now, gentlemen, are you asking questions you're not supposed to be?" Dorothy interrupted from behind them, getting the group to break their constricting huddle to allow her in. The men chuckled at the insinuation and she only granted them a smile. "If you are all only picking on my honored guest, I'm going to ask you to allow me to steal him from you."

The group bowed out as typical and she stepped forward meeting his eyes. "Agent Yuy, may I be so bold as to ask for a dance?"

Throwing a look in Relena's direction, Heero quickly decided he didn't have a choice. "Of course," he offered instead and still managed to raise a hand for her to take.

He didn't lead her to the floor as anyone watching would assume. She dragged him there. "Don't look so stiff, Heero," Dorothy teased. "You're going to make everyone think you're impersonal."

Allowing her to step in he began to lead them around the floor, at least thankful that he'd gotten out of that conversation. One more question about his training, or if his position was really necessary and he would have simply turned around and left. That probably wouldn't be advantageous to Relena's campaign and he was trying his best to ensure that he didn't cause any division between her and these people.

He shouldn't have allowed himself to get separated. The first rule Quatre had told him was to stick close to the girls. Granted Dorothy had given him an easy excuse out, but he didn't intend to relax his annoyance with the whole situation just because it was down to him and her.

He'd decided in the past few days that she was typically sincere with her actions. He wasn't sure how to work around this woman's constant word battles though, aside from just ignoring her. But apparently that was considered rude.

At least that was now an acceptable possibility. He cared very little of what Dorothy Catalonia thought of his manners.

She knew better regardless.

"You're letting petty people annoy you," came the quiet accusation.

Finally he looked down at her as he guided them along the floor between other couples. Her eyes were closed as the trustingly let him lead.

"There are a number of people in this room that do not hold you in fond regard," she continued. "You've figured that out," Dorothy slowly opened her eyes to look at him.

Heero turned away to watch the rest of the floor and the room beyond. Yes, he'd figured it out. He had been expecting it. By sheer knowledge of the public opinion of their relationship he knew probably half of those here tonight would believe he wasn't good enough for her.

"Letting yourself get cornered by them wasn't very bright."

Again he looked down, throw her a glare for the remark. But once again her eyes were closed against it.

"You'll need to learn to sidestep unpleasant conversations. Mark that as something to study. Also, you have to lighten up. If these people catch that they've gotten under your skin they'll keep digging." Raising her eyes finally, she looked at him a moment. "It doesn't take much to dissuade the weak minded. A few examples are more than sufficient."

Heero blinked at her, surprised. Was Dorothy actually giving him lessons?

"This isn't any different than you're use to." Throwing a look to the side of the room where Relena was now talking to the Minister and another woman, she shrugged. "It's all tactics. Know your allies and your enemies."

Allies and enemies?

"The ringleader of that group you were in. Who was he and what does he have against you?" she asked, dipping her voice low as they passed the other people on the floor.

"Representative Xion," he carefully answered. "He's sided with the Pearls' view that the Preventers shouldn't be involved with the government."

"Very good," Dorothy purred back, her eyes scrutinizing him. "But you didn't comment?"

"No," Heero met her look. That had been his decision. Questions on such a matter would be given little to no information that could be used against him or Relena.

"Typically the correct move. But this one was different, did you see that?" she asked.

Glancing over to where the man was now, he could tell by the over-exaggerated hand movements that he was probably still talking on the same subject. "Hn." He wasn't one to give up.

"In that type of case, you're allowed to be a little more forward. He is, after all, attacking your position," Dorothy stated, closing her eyes again, the smirk never leaving her face. "A few examples are all it takes."

For a moment, he watched her, confused. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Regardless of past history, I am an ally," she looked up once more. "And I have been at this for far longer than you."

Without anything more, Dorothy stopped them at the side of the floor close to the group Relena was speaking with and flawlessly led them both back to her side. After a few pleasant remarks, and a tease to Relena that she'd stolen a dance from him before she had, Dorothy easily left with nothing more than a smile.

He watched her from the corner of his eye as she spoke for a second to one of the Maguanacs who were waiting the area and then picked out a glass of something for herself. Quatre had told him to stick close to the girls, and he was right.

Heero could accept instruction.

* * *

"I don't believe it's necessary. Safety is, of course, a necessity but it is too disadvantageous if something were to corrupt the current organization," the man once again rounded to the same subject. Representative Xion was using the social setting to get feedback on the problem, Heero had become well aware of that. 

"I can understand that way of thinking," Relena nodded. "But at the moment there is no alternative unless we can convince the finance council to allow a budget for a type of secret service agency that would not be affiliated with the police or Preventers."

The group laughed about the prospect of that happening any time soon.

"We don't have to start from scratch," the Representative shook his head. "Agent Yuy, in your opinion, wouldn't there be officers like yourself that would leave the Preventers for this new force?"

Heero looked at the man in question a moment, being very tired of him by now. "Some would. But those would are the ones to worry about. You're letting them keep the position they already have. You save nothing if there is a motive."

The group quieted a second until Xion grudgingly nodded. "Yes, but that alternative motive wouldn't always be malicious. Your own case for example," the other insinuated with a grin.

"You keep assuming I'd leave the Preventers," Heero cut in.

Once again the whole group faltered to silence around them.

* * *

"So?" Quatre quietly questioned. The room was down to only a few of the most noted supporters who were still chatting with Relena and the Minister. Clean up was already beginning around them, and they were only waiting for the remainders to leave. "What do you think?" 

Heero nodded slightly, "Hn. I can handle this."

"We didn't doubt you," Quatre chuckled with a smile.

* * *

"That sucked. Nothing happened at all. I think I'm disappointed," Duo whined, his head lying on the desk in front of the monitors as the teams locked down the chateau again. 

"That's a good thing," Hilde huffed at him.

"Yeah, but I'm bored," he grumbled.

* * *

"I must say I'm impressed with that young man," Minister Wellington nodded to himself. "He's sharp. I have to say that I can see why Relena is taken with him." 

"He's awfully quiet, isn't he?" his wife remarked from behind him.

"Around a bunch blow-hards like this? He probably couldn't get a word in edgewise," he laughed.

"I was talking about around you, darling," she picked on him with a giggle.

"Oh."

* * *

"What on Earth does she see in him?" 

"It's just a phase. Even the Vice Minister is going rebellious as a teenager."

"Ha ha! You're right."

* * *

Dorothy had shooed them all off to bed, leaving only she and Quatre left downstairs. Being forced away from any of the clean up duty until tomorrow, Relena had slipped up to the apartment as well. Heero and Duo had closed up the monitoring systems, leaving the outside surveillance on. 

The little flashes of lightning coming through each window that she passed gave Relena the impression that this hadn't ended any too soon to have the guests home before the rain started. She got a goodnight from a couple of the guys still talking in the hallway before she turned in to the apartment.

Ry and Alli were seated in the sitting area of the central living room, talking over something when she entered. Knowing they were probably only waiting for her to turn in Relena thanked them for keeping watch and said goodnight.

She really wasn't in the mood to be overly social anyway. Slipping into her room, she closed the door and allowed herself to close her eyes for a second. The evening had gone well, and as far as fundraising went, it was a large success. Especially the business owners and entrepreneurs tonight had been generous to them.

But it just wasn't exactly what she'd been hoping for.

"Relena?"

Startled, she turned around to face into her room, not excepting Heero to have been waiting for her. "I didn't realize…." She trailed out as she found him in the gray of the room.

Gently he touched her cheek, looking down at her. "What is it?"

"I wasn't expecting you to be hiding in my bedroom," she teased instead, stepping in to wrap her arms around his waist in a hug.

"Relena…."

Was that all the farther he would ever get? Turning those thoughts away, she stayed where she was, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her.

She didn't mean to want more. She didn't really even want anything different. She just… wanted more of this. "Thank you," she whispered. "I know you weren't very comfortable tonight."

Not that he showed it. Heero was as calmly proficient as always, his conversation direct and to the point. But he was polite and very formal when he needed to be. She had been truly impressed, although it seemed fake from him. It wasn't warm or even practiced, but rather… textbook accurate.

Perhaps that shouldn't seem odd to her.

She felt more than heard him sigh. "I tried," he confessed.

Blinking her eyes back open, she picked her head off his shoulder to look up at him. Oh, poor Heero. No wonder he was here instead of letting her turn in as usual. "You were worried for nothing, you know," she smiled. "Thank you."

"Hn," he nodded, apparently satisfied with his performance then.

With a giggle, she left it at that. Nothing ever bothered this man. It was enough to make her jealous. "I think I could have kissed you then and there for what you said to Representative Xion, though. He's been pushing about that for the last couple months. If I knew what to do about it, I would."

"His reasoning is flawed."

With a smile she leaned in and kissed him for it now instead. Relena loved this man and she knew it with all her heart. There was nothing she could compare this too.

Heero let her go when she slipped away. Feeling justified with his actions tonight, he allowed a smile as she sighed and moved past him towards the bedside table. "You're looking at Mars again," he observed as she clicked on the lamp, adding a dim light through the purple shade. "What changed?"

There was a moment's pause he wasn't expecting as she stared down at the bedspread and away from him. "Frederic Toloma."

He straightened, turning to face her. Heero knew it was something that haunted her sometimes. He understood her well enough to know that the possibility that her actions could lead to another war would weigh heavy on her. She had asked him to help her ensure that that never happened, but Heero really didn't have a way to completely ensure that.

"I finally have an idea of what to do with those who are still looking for a place to belong," she continued. "I'm still trying to find a way to make it work though. What do you think?" Relena looked back at him, her eyes earnest.

There was no easy answer to that. "The possibilities with a separate shipping system could be beneficial." But even he knew it would be a hard battle to fight to get the funding for it.

"I think so too," she nodded and turned back to the table as she began picking bobby pins out of her hair. The locks had been curled and then twisted up behind her so that only half of their length draped down past her shoulders in ringlets. Absently her fingers worked through the edges, pulling the pins free while she thought. "But it's only the first step that I have in mind. Once the shipping lines are in place, I want to open the project again for more laborers on a four year contract."

"For what?" he asked, watching curls slowly slip away and fall out to their full length.

"Two fold," she answered. "With more people in place I can begin the argument to elect a Representative and give Mars its own territory as soon as possible. That will help to hold it in the political ranks. Also, it will allow those trying to escape from war-torn lives to find a new place to start over."

"You can't save everyone," Heero quietly stated the obvious.

Her movements paused as she looked back at him a moment and then turned away again. "I know. But I have to try."

Yes. And she would. "Placing too many people in a small area will lead to interior conflicts."

"How many is too many?"

Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the door. "You won't know that until it happens."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she nodded. "But I'm not as worried about individuals. If need be, setting up a police force would be a good idea anyway." Finally the rest of her hair tumbled down as the pile of pins on the table grew. Combing through her hair, she continued to pick them out. "Will it work though?"

Heero's eyes were glued to the golden strands bunched in a messy tangle of curled ends in contrast to the pale pink of her dress. "You'll find a way," he answered, for once openly awed with her.

"I'm not sure if I deserve that much confidence," she chuckled to herself, trying to separate the locks to look for more pins.

Silently moving forward, he didn't mean to startle her as he carefully stepped in behind and pulled out a couple for her. "I have no reason to doubt you," he honestly answered.

With a hum of acknowledgement, she relaxed again, letting him separate out the little clips from her hair.

She was beautiful. Mars' problems held little interest to him at the moment, though he knew it was weighing on her mind. It may be a selfish desire, but he couldn't find the harm in gently running his hands through her hair.

So soft. Like everything else about her.

As he picked through the curls he brushed them off her shoulder. The split sleeves didn't cover much, and the light in front of her warmed the bare skin. Slowly forgetting the bobby pins, he gathered her hair together and moved it away, laying it over her left shoulder as he stepped in closer. She turned into him as his hands lightly moved away from her hair to her upper arms.

Still focused on her neck and shoulder, he noticed the chain of the pendent that he'd given her still clasped around her neck. Even in such a formal setting she hadn't replaced it with something more outstanding.

Raising his right hand, he tugged at it a little, centering the clasp behind her neck again as she touched the pendent in front of her with a hum. But his fingertips lingered on her skin. His other hand unconsciously trailed down her arm, savoring the feeling until he wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her there against him.

The touch elicited a shiver from her and he heard the stutter in her breathing. That hadn't been his intention. To make up for it, he removed his other hand from her neck and bowed to place a kiss there instead over the thin chain.

Once more her breath caught, but he felt her body slowly relax as he lingered there. He hadn't been expecting any type of reaction like this. As he lifted away again she turned her face towards him, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted.

For a moment he could only stare at her profile, so close and so warm. Could she even know what he felt like this way? There had been flashes of this feeling before, moments when he lost himself in the way she responded to him. Was there any reason he couldn't now?

Feeling the familiar ache in his chest, Heero moved his lips back to her neck, just below her ear this time. He sensed the shift in her body, matching the quick gasp of air. But she didn't pull away. Instead she shifted her face once more, allowing him room as his nose tickled her skin.

Sinking little by little, he trailed small kisses down the side of her neck as she slouched back against him. His arm tightened around her to hold her there as he turned from her neck to her shoulder. Raising his free hand from her arm he brushed it up until it reached her sleeve. And when he neared the beaded material he gently brushed it off and out of the way.

The move gained him an audible sigh as both of her arms folded around his at her waist. Her breathing was escalated by the time he reached the edge and stopped. It matched his own as he opened his eyes once more and paused to look at her profile that was once again turned towards him.

Shifting, he jolted her eyes open as he turned her around his arms, encircling her. Relena met his kiss readily as she wrapped one arm around his side and up his back, gasping at the cloth of his jacket. Her other hand ended up pressed against his chest as he held her to him.

Little by little the harsh unrestraint of their lips against each others settle down, their touches becoming longer, warmer as the blinding ache in him soothed down until she paused, tilting away. Staying there, close, he heard her swallow as she buried her face into his neck and shoulder.

Loosening his hold to be less constricting, he bowed his face to place his cheek against her hair, the scent lulling him.

"I love you," she breathed, in barely a whisper. "Heero…."

He'd gone too far. Closing his eyes, he held her gently, trying to make up for the callus, physical reaction. He wanted to be gentler with her. There was an emotional depth in her that he didn't know if he'd hurt by doing something like this. Until he knew, until he understood…. "Tell me?" he quietly asked.

There was a confused hum before she slowly found her voice again. "Tell you what?"

It probably wasn't the right time after something like this, but the pressure in his chest kept reminding him. "What you feel. How do you know?" He spoke in hushed whispers, needing to find something more solid than "love" to understand.

He was surprised when she actually giggled at him. "How do I know I love you?" she asked, settling warmly against him. "I don't have any other word for this," she slowly confided. "I can't be without you. The only time I feel whole is right here like this."

That…. That wasn't what he felt though. So then… he really didn't love her.

He held her tightly, hiding his face in her hair as much as possible.

"I don't know how to describe this," Relena lightly chuckled, obviously struggling to give him something else. "I have nothing to compare this to. I… I need you."

That opened his eyes again, the words finally sounding familiar. There was something then. Could he admit that? She needed him. Did she need to hear it?

"You're the only one that I ever want to feel this for, Heero," she continued. "Does that sound stupid?" she sighed at herself.

But it made him smile regardless. She was trying so hard to give him something concrete. But there just wasn't anything, was there? Shifting, he pressed his cheek to hers. "I can't feel this for anyone else," he returned, knowing that at least that much was true.

Relena. He didn't have a choice with her.

"Heero." It was almost a whimper but he didn't know why. Unless her heart hurt this much too.

He knew exactly what she was asking for, what she wanted, what she had waited all this time for. He didn't have a choice. He would remain by her side no matter what. As long as she believed she couldn't be without him, he wouldn't be able to hurt her by leaving, regardless of his other emotions.

But what she'd said wasn't the same. Her reasoning was different from his own.

Did it matter?

Absently he felt her hand between them ball up around the top button on his vest. Her touch over his heart focusing him again on the throbbing ache. Could he deny her? Had he ever been able to deny her?

Moving his face, she raised her head again. "Relena, I…" and he stopped. He couldn't lie to her either. "I don't know what to tell you," he confessed, trusting that maybe she'd know.

She blinked, taking a moment to look at him. "What do you want to say?"

And with all sincerity he tightened his grip around her and didn't let himself turn away from her eyes. "I want to say I love you," he guiltily admitted.

That unexplained fear raced through him as her eyes clouded with tears, but a smile slowly working its way onto her lips at the same time. "Then say it," she barely got out.

He watched in awe as one tear slipped past her lashes as she tried in vain to blink them back. "…I love you."

* * *

"Passion is the quickest to develop, and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still." - Robert Sternberg. 

AN: I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I meant to get this done a lot sooner but… yeah. I raced ahead and got the ending writing, so please excuse the probably horrible amount of typos.


	29. Chapter 29

AN: I am such a spoiled little brat. I keep you readers waiting like a month or more for most of these updates and still you flatter me and keep coming back for more. Thank you SO much, you guys really have no idea what it means to me. And for all of you wonderful people that keep saying you love me and this story, I promise the feeling is mutual. (bows) I will try to do better with these updates.

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 29

"Then say it."

Heero watched in awe as one tear slipped past her lashes as she tried in vain to blink them back. "…I love you."

A second tear broke free as Relena gasped, trying to keep them back before she threw herself into him and squeezed him tightly. "I love you too, Heero," she whispered.

What had he just done?

He stood frozen, holding her in arms that clung to her in panic. This wasn't right. She was supposed to know. She'd told him to say it, but…. This wasn't right. What did he do?

She always understood before.

"I love you too," she whispered again, her voice so low he barely heard her as she lightly chuckled.

But he did hear it. Closing his eyes, he pushed the irrational fear down as best he could. There was nothing else to do now.

"I'm sorry," Relena sighed, slipping away a little. "I just…" she trailed out, looking up at him again.

Heero pressed her back into a hug, unable to meet her eyes.

"Thank you." She snuggled into him again, obviously content, and the tears gone.

Thank you? Relena. How did he ever think he could feel the same way she did? How did she even manage to love him like this?

He'd finally found it. Heero finally had a definition for "love." He could touch it, know it. …But not feel it.

* * *

Could he mean it? How did he know?

"Yo, marathon sprinter! Slow down, would ya?"

Heero didn't acknowledge it as he turned once again through the rows of paths in the expansive gardens of Dorothy's chateau. This had been Duo's idea, what was he complaining for now?

"Ah cripes. This is the last time I do anything with you, you know that?" he yelled again.

With an agitated sigh, Heero stopped short and spun back to face him as Duo came running down the path after him. The man barely skidded to a halt in time to avoid Heero having to catch him. "What do you want?"

He knew Duo very well by now, and as eccentric as he was it still wasn't normal for him to suggest a morning run with him. Duo wasn't an idiot—as doubtful as that seemed sometimes—and he did usually have a reason for his antics.

Heero wasn't in the mood to figure it out today.

"Eh?" Duo blinked. "What's eating you?" he scrutinized him, puffing a little to catch his breath.

"Answer the question."

"No. I don't want to," he stubbornly shook his head and crossed his arms in front of him. "You're cranky…" he paused a second, "-er. Crankier."

Heero turned and took off running again. The last thing he needed right now was Duo and his constant babbling.

"What?" came the cry after him. "Wha'd I do? Heero!"

He ignored him.

"That's it! Get back here!"

Heero heard the footfalls behind him and actually smirked as they quickly picked up to full speed. Duo was notoriously quick. In a short sprint Heero would have been at a disadvantage, but Duo was already winded. Though resilient, distance wasn't his specialty. If he was after a foot race, he'd lose.

Turning around one of the corners, Heero increased his speed through the hedges and flower planters as he listened carefully to Duo trailing right behind him. He picked up his pace farther, pushing himself to stay ahead of him as he maneuvered another corner.

Then he saw it. In front of them lay a courtyard where four of the paths converged. The basin of a fountain could just be seen between the bushes they sprinted through. Heero knew the layout of these gardens extensively. Knowledge that Duo probably hadn't taken advantage of.

Heero prepared himself quickly, feeling Duo's stride on his heels as they burst out of the lined trail and into the courtyard. Three steps in, Heero dodged left and pivoted in a complete circle.

Duo had been too close behind him to see the low line of the water basin coming up in front of them, and he couldn't follow the fast dodge in mid-step. With a cry of surprise, Duo tried to skid to a halt, his arms flinging out helplessly as his shins connected with the basin, threatening to launch him directly into the rock decoration in the middle of the thing.

Heero reached out after him, managing to grab one handful of his shirt and was skidded a couple inches along the ground by the force before they were both stopped, Duo still precariously off balance and leaning over the water trough.

Heero just smirked. _Say it_, he mentally prodded.

"You jerk! You—"

Without waiting for the rest, he let go of Duo's shirt. The move was enough to send him flailing into the shallow water. Head first.

He was out a second later, sputtering and swearing as he got his arms under him to push himself out. Duo's braid whipped water in an arc across the courtyard rock as he turned to glare up at him, his bangs dripping into his eyes and onto the soaked shirt.

And for once, Heero openly laughed at his expense.

"What the hell!" Duo screamed at him. "You could have drowned me! What did I ever do to you? You're going to pay for this!"

* * *

Quatre stepped out one of the back doors and onto the expansive terrace that overlooked the gardens. Most of the house was still quiet and he was sure that Relena was still safely in her room. But it was the oddest thing. He could have sworn he'd heard screaming.

Motion caught his eye as he stopped in his tracks at the edge of the stairs and blinked to make sure he was seeing this right. Duo and Heero were coming up the path towards the house, Duo stalking ahead, his hands balling into fists and… soaked?

And Heero was quietly trailing along behind with a… smirk?

Uh oh.

Pasting up a pleasant smile, Quatre waited at the top of the landing, mentally shaking his head at the two. "Good morning," he quietly tried as they reached the bottom of the steps.

"Don't ask," Duo bit off as he ascended the steps and stopped at his side. "Better yet, ask him," he threw a viciously pointed finger back towards Heero who had stopped halfway up the steps behind him. "Go on," Duo demanded. "Ask him! Ask him what he did to me."

Quatre didn't even get a word out before Duo spun around again to face down towards their teammate.

"Go on, Heero. Tell him. Tell him how you pushed me into a freaking fountain!" he huffed, planting both balled hands on his hips.

Heero opened his mouth to say something but was cut off again as Duo once more pivoted back to face Quatre.

"He pushed me into a fountain," he complained. "I could have drowned, but did he care? No!" he wildly gestured. "And then the sick, sadistic jerk stood there and laughed at me. Laughed! Have you ever heard this guy laugh? It's scary!"

Quatre stood there trying to inch away from the overly distraught man. "Duo, I think you must be exager—"

"Tell him!" he turned back to Heero and then crossed his arms and stared back down expectantly.

Quatre turned to watch Heero as he simply continued to walk up the steps and around them. "I didn't push you," he stated evenly. When Duo balked, Heero stopped and looked at him a second before continuing on towards the door. "I dropped you."

"See!" Duo squeaked back to him and Quatre fought for all he was worth not to laugh at them.

He didn't do a very good job.

"Oh, yeah, thanks, Q. You're a pal," Duo continued to grumble. Turning over his shoulder to Heero again, he raised his nose and snorted at him. "One of these days, Heero, I'm not going to like you anymore."

Quatre watched as Heero stopped and then turned to look back at him, his expression absolutely blank.

And he couldn't help it. Quatre broke out laughing. He tried to cover his mouth to muffle it when Duo turned to give him an annoyed look. "Sorry," he managed to get out.

"Why me?" he whined. "I don't deserve this." Slumping his shoulders and bowing his head, he trudged off towards the door. The other two just let him go, listening as he dejectedly mumbled to himself.

Following after him, Quatre shook his head in dismay as the poor man's hair still dripped as he flung the door open and tromped in. "You really did mean to make him end up in the fountain, didn't you?" he quietly accused.

Out of the corner of his eye, Heero actually smirked to himself. "Hn."

With another laugh he held the door for him. "I won't ask what he did to deserve it."

There was a nod of acknowledgement as they entered the house again and followed their soggy friend down the hall. Hilde and Alli came into view next to the stairs as the girls stood there talking. They stopped short when Duo let out a pitiful wail. "Hilde!"

The petite woman stood staring at them for a second as he walked up, "What did you do now?"

"Heero's mean. I don't like him anymore," he pouted at her for sympathy.

Rolling her eyes, Hilde shook her head and threw a look back to the other two. "I highly doubt that."

"Why doesn't anyone believe me?" he threw up his hands, obvious finished with the woe-is-me routine.

With a sigh, Hilde planted her hands on her hips. "Duo, go change, you're dripping all over the floor."

"I could drip all over you too, babe," he turned, making a grab for her arm as she instantly tried to squirm away.

Alli hopped out of the way with a laugh as Hilde darted a few steps back and forth in hallway, barely managing to keep dodging. "Duo, don't you dare!" she yelled at him.

With a fake to the left, Duo caught her arm anyway and spun her back to him, wrapping her in a soggy embrace. "Come on, Hil. I just need a hug," he pouted again, doing his best to hold on to her as she rather valiantly tried to fight him off.

"You need a hairdryer," she accused him instead. "Let go of me, you mop!"

"Ah, you're so cute when you're grumpy," Duo happily squeezed her, rubbing his cheek against her hair.

With a miserable sigh, Hilde gave up and dropped her head on his shoulder, going limp in his arms.

Alli burst out laughing. Quatre smiled at the exchange and politely averted his eyes from the couple as they exchanged a quick kiss. Duo released her and Hilde marched off up the stairs, grumbling all the way and tugging at her damp shirt.

"That poor girl," Alli mumbled as they watched her stomp up the steps out of sight.

"She'd not poor, she's got me, what more could she want?" Duo jokingly threw back at her.

Shaking her head, she turned away towards the kitchen. "Yeah, she's so lucky," Alli teased. "I would have slapped you."

"That just means I've got a better girl," he snipped, starting up the stairs towards his room too.

With a chuckle, Quatre tucked his hands into his pockets. "Everyone's different," he commented.

Heero turned to look at him. Leaned against the hallway wall, he'd been quiet through the exchange. But he made no move to respond to that, and turned away back the direction they'd come.

Quatre watched him go a minute but decided against trying to ask if anything was the matter. He'd never had good luck with that from Heero, and most of time there was just nothing to be said anyway.

Brushing it off he went to join Alli in the kitchen.

* * *

Relena languidly stretched in her bed and rolled over to snuggle into her pillow. She had slept with a smile on her face, she was sure of it, because she just couldn't get it to quit. Once Heero had slipped away to his own room, she'd pinched herself twice to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

Heero Yuy had admitted that he loved her.

There couldn't possibly be any other feeling like this. She wasn't sure she'd ever been so happy, especially over a simple little sentence.

She just couldn't believe that he'd come out and said it like that. She really hadn't expected it. Relena did, of course, believe somewhere in her heart that Heero loved her back, but she knew he was very confused sometimes with the idea of what to call an emotion.

When he had first told her that he trusted her, she'd felt it was probably the closest he would get to saying he loved her for a very long time. She shouldn't have worried.

And here she'd been feeling a little unattractive to him, both physically and emotional. Apparently he had found something in her to love. He may not be the most vocal, and he would probably never whisper sweet nothings to her, but that didn't mean he wasn't loving. He was very sweet in his own way.

What had set that off last night, she didn't know. The light kisses on her neck had startled her at first before she'd found it thrilling. But when he'd continued…. Well, she'd melted into his arms, trusting that the touches were something far more than just the hormones that she knew had attacked her.

Buried in the pit of her stomach was a fear that it would go too far, and what would she do if he would have pressed for something even less innocent? But this was Heero. Her Heero. Did she really think that he would ever just lose all of his control in a physical display of affection? Never. And especially never with her.

He was so gentle. Always considerate. It was proof that he honestly cared for her. Like he was afraid sometimes that he'd break her. She knew that he watched her reactions closely. Not that she'd had the mind to have been thinking of that last night. She wanted so much to just be loved by him, and she had felt so tenderly supported in him. It was bliss and she hadn't tried to stop it.

Relena felt herself blush a little at the memory, but her smile was still permanently stuck in place. He was wonderful to her. The things he made her feel were incomparable to anything else.

And he loved her. Oh, he loved her.

* * *

"You misspelled Heidense again," Quatre handed the envelope back to Dorothy as she stood over the table they were at.

Heero paused at the doorway, taking a quick look in at the two.

"Again?" Dorothy sighed.

"It's still 'ei,'" he chuckled at her.

"Be quiet or you can write the thank you notes," she grumbled back, tearing the thing out of his hand.

"I didn't ask them to transport some of the guests."

"I didn't either," she grumbled. "Since when does that mean you don't have to send a thank you for something you didn't ask for?"

"It was a nice gesture."

"They were just spying to see who was coming."

"You always think the worst."

"Well, I'm not usually wrong."

"You know, you tell me I take things too personally," Quatre accused her with a smile.

Dorothy stared him down for a second as he chuckled at her. Rolling her eyes with a sigh, she sat back down and picked up a pen and a new envelope. "I don't know why I put up with you."

"I correct your spelling," he suggested, leaning over the table.

And Dorothy stopped in the middle of her writing. Quatre stared down at the envelope. "Um… 'ei.'"

Heero walked away as Dorothy started hissing at him that she knew that. He was beginning to believe Duo's story that she'd stabbed him on _Libra_.

* * *

"_Everyone's different."_

He was nearly convinced it was true. He hadn't thought of trying to study the couples around him before. He tended to avoid thinking about the antics of the pairs, but he was finding that he needed to glean insights where available.

Somehow he wasn't sure that he trusted Duo and Quatre's emotional attachments to be a guide for him though. He didn't understand either's tactics and he was fairly certain that their approaches wouldn't work on Relena.

Of course, whether or not those tactics were actually working on the two men's respective partners was a question anyway. They both seemed to be the ones actively pursuing the women. Heero had no reason to believe he had that problem. Relena had admitted many times that she loved him.

What was he missing?

Relena had spotted him this morning when she came downstairs, and the happy smile she'd flashed him had twisted his stomach. There was no retreat. He couldn't possibly try to take back those words, and for once, he didn't feel that talking to her would be advantageous either.

What he really didn't know was whether he had to take back what he'd said or not. At the moment he was far more inclined to leave the situation as it was. It really wasn't hurting anything, and Relena seemed very happy about it.

And until he knew for certain that he had no right to say what he did, Heero would appreciate that he'd made her happy at least.

Maybe that was enough for it to be true.

From behind him Heero never noticed that Quatre, Duo and Hilde's conversation had died as the three stood looking at him as he sat, completely ignoring them. Quatre and Duo exchanged a glance, but Duo shook his head and then sighed and shooed them both towards the door.

Quatre was going to protest, but Hilde hooked his arm with hers and started up asking about work as she dragged him out. He looked back with a worried expression, but Duo flashed him a "trust me" smile as the door closed behind them.

It dropped the instant they were gone and he moved around to the other side of the table Heero was sitting at. The guy had issues, Duo knew it. For years now they'd all chipped away at the block of ice he obviously had for a heart, but none of them had succeeded.

Except her. The girl was something else alright.

Why Duo tried so hard to get Heero to open up, he didn't know. He supposed it was as good of a hobby as any. Dangerous and not very rewarding, but hey, why complain now?

Plopping down in the chair, he kicked it back and propped his feet up on the table directly in the spot that Heero was staring at. It succeeded in making him blink and take a drink from the cup he had, but that was it.

He just leaned back, crossing his hands behind his head as he balanced on two chair legs. "Say it, and save us both the trouble," he opened. He'd already been pushed into a fountain for this guy today, he was losing his patience with Mr. Stoic.

"What do you want?"

Same attitude as this morning. Heero was being moodier than normal today. Duo wasn't blind; he'd caught the changes since he'd seen the guy last. And after his and Dorothy's little spy mission had confirmed that the two were far cozier than he'd previously thought, he wasn't going to just let it slide this time. "Come on, bud. Got to talk to someone," he happily smiled at him.

Heero finally raised his eyes to look at him a second and there was anything but joyful camaraderie in them.

The guy wasn't thrilled to be drawn out. Well, might as well make it quick and painless. "Would you stop it," he nagged. "You think you're the only one going through this stuff?"

Heero's look, if possible, got darker. Why did he have such a problem with him all the time? Duo couldn't help it if he was just so great and knew everything. Heero was just jealous and wouldn't admit it. Poor guy, it probably was hard to be stuck in his shadow all the time.

Duo's happy musings were cut off when Heero abruptly stood and picked up his cup to walk away.

Fine. Screw it. "Heero, sit," he half-demanded.

He at least stopped and looked back at him.

"Forget Relena for sec. I gotta ask you something." He closed his eyes with a smile while the other made up his mind to return to his chair. It took a second, but Duo knew he wouldn't pass over an opening like that.

Once he was sure his friend was seated across the table again, Duo opened his eyes again and stared up at the ceiling. It was funny that he realized he was actually nervous about saying this. Huh, first time for everything. Quick and painless, right? "I haven't figure out how to do it yet… but I'm going to ask Hilde to marry me."

Duo turned to look at Heero just in time to see him openly stare back in the closest thing to shock that Duo'd ever witnessed from him. Suddenly he figured this conversation was going to be a whole lot more fun than he'd thought it was going to be.

Laughing, Duo shook his head. "Man, you should see your face."

"You aren't serious," Heero accused him, losing his shock for annoyance.

"I am serious," Duo refuted. "It's just fun to get a reaction out of you." Heero didn't respond, but silently sat there and scrutinized him until Duo flinched and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, uh, the point of this was to make myself feel better about it. So far, you're not being real supportive, pal," he grumbled. "Knew I should have told this to Quatre instead. The guy's got a pathetic love life, but he'd at least be happy for me."

"Are you sure?"

Duo finally turned back from his annoyed ranting and looked at him. Heero hadn't moved, his eyes still oddly studying him. "Sure? Of course I'm not sure. If I was, I'd be asking her, not you," he sighed. "I'm… pretty sure," he smiled instead. "I just haven't figured out how to do it yet. Imagine that, me stuck not knowing how to say something," he laughed at himself.

This had been building for a long time now, but it still didn't seem possible. Not for him anyway.

"It's taken me this long to figure out that I actually have an address," Duo went on, staring up at the ceiling again. "Every time a part came to the shop with my name on it, I used to stare at it funny. I finally subscribed to a magazine just to get used to the idea of getting mail," he snorted at himself. "Three years, Heero. Three years and I'm still trying to get used to the idea of what 'home' is supposed to be."

"You don't have a definition," Heero quietly advised.

A definition of home? Once he thought he had one. Shaking his head Duo pushed away the old memories. "On the contrary, I have one definition for a lot of things these days." With a smile, he turned back to him with a wink. "And her name is Hilde."

Heero blinked at him, openly surprised with all of this. Somehow, Duo figured he would be. Truthfully, he wasn't sure why he was spilling this, but he was going to explode if he didn't tell someone. Besides, he had a pretty good idea of where Heero was getting stuck in this whole relationship thing, and he just wouldn't be a good pal if he left the guy like that.

"Hilde's been the only consistent thing in my life," he reasoned. "Scares the hell out of me sometimes that she is, and scares me worse the rest of the time to think she'll disappear somehow." Shrugging, he sighed, "I don't know what else to do."

"That's your reason for marrying her?"

"What?" he squeaked and dropped his arms to stare over at him. "No!" he grumbled at him. Re-thinking that, he paused. "Well, it's not the real reason," he corrected. "Hell, I don't know. I just…." Tossing a glance at Heero he turned away again, deciding he didn't really want to get into the mushier stuff. That just wasn't cool in front of another guy.

Heero sat back in his chair, watching him like a criminal or something, and just waited. Duo threw him another glance and then stubbornly turned away again. He was going to make him say it. He hated it when Heero did this. All of his effort and the guy still didn't have basic conversation skills. That was so unfair.

Why did he tell Heero of all people? This sucks.

"You love her."

Duo balked, absolutely not believing he'd just heard those words come out of Heero Yuy. Turning cautiously towards him, he found the guy staring absently at his cup on the table between them. What the hell? When did Heero start spouting out words like 'love' and….

The smirk slowly crept up his face until it broadened into a full smile. Oh. So that's it, eh? "Course I do," he happily replied, folding his hands behind his head again and lounging back. "Hil's the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't intend to let her go, you know."

Peeking one eye open, he watched for any signs of recognition, but didn't get any. Alright, something else then. _Let's see. If I were Heero… who am I kidding?_ he mentally rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't easy, of course. Guy like me doesn't really understand the concept of settling down and all that. But it's nice, you know? Something stable."

Peeking at him again, there was still no reaction. Come off it. What did he have to do here? _Come on boy. Fetch!_

"Besides, it's time to grow up. The war's over. People are getting along. You walk around and the Colonists are smiling again. There's no point in us living like we did before. Never thought I'd see it, but I'm starting to like peace," he chuckled. "Get's quiet though sometimes. That's when I know I need her."

Finally, Heero shifted to look over at him and Duo quickly closed his eyes again, his smile stuck in place. About time.

"The fight's never going to leave us. You and Wu especially. You're still stuck in this stuff all the time. You gotta let yourself be grounded in something, or you get itchy for the good ol' days. Not that they were any good," he corrected himself. "The girls know us though. You gotta start trusting somebody, sometime."

"Trust?" Heero quietly asked.

Jackpot! Duo about laughed at how smooth he was. "Course," he nodded to himself. "Who else is going to know us and still love us? Not to mention put up with us," he chuckled. "Yep, Hil's the best thing that ever happened to me," he sighed again.

"Is that it?"

Popping an eye open, Duo looked over at him. What's with the questions? Heero should at least be throwing a "Hn" in here somewhere, shouldn't he? "What do you mean?" he blinked. "Isn't it enough?"

Lowering his eyes again to his cup, Heero apparently didn't think so.

Damn. He'd been so close. What was Heero brooding about? "Hey, come on. If you know something, let me in on it, would you? I'm about to make an ass out of myself if she says no," he grumbled, hoping to guilt it out of him.

"Hn," he nodded.

Then again, Duo obviously forgot who he was talking to. "What did I expect?" he complained in exasperation. "You're going to make a lousy best man."

Finally Heero raised his eyes again to look at him funny.

"And don't think I'm going to let you get off not giving a speech either," he flashed a smile.

The look only got more confused.

This wasn't getting him anywhere. Oh well, this conversation wasn't a total loss. "You'll need the practice regardless. Relena's gonna drag you to the alter one of these days too. Don't kid yourself," he happily snickered at him. "I can't wait."

It was going to be great. Relena would have the whole freaking Sphere tuned into the wedding of the century. Heero was going to be sweating buckets. Idly he wondered if the supposedly dead Milliardo Peacecraft was going to get dragged into a back seat somewhere for it too. Naw. Zechs would be the choir loft with his sites set on the back of Heero's head just in case he tried to bolt.

Assuming that Heero's apartment didn't suspiciously detonate the night after Zechs landed on Earth again.

"…Hn."

Duo stopped. His humored smile even slipped to a confused smirk as he turned to look across the table again. Heero quietly stood to his feet again and picked up his cup to take it to the sink in the corner.

Wait. _"…Hn."_ Did he just say _hn_? Did he just say _hn_ to….

Duo swore under his breath at his stared at the other man's back. "Heero?" he tentatively asked. "Uh… anything you want to talk about, bud?" he cheerily tried.

Heero ignored him and walk towards the door. Opening it, he paused a second. Without actually looking back, he tossed over his shoulder, "Good luck," and slipped out.

Duo dropped his hands to his sides in utter shock. The weight was enough to displace the balance of his chair and the whole thing suddenly tipped over backwards.

* * *

Relena was in her room again when he found her. Packing up her items, she was humming to herself and he paused in the doorway to listen. Heero had never her hum before. Sometimes she sang along with music during their trips, but that was all.

This was really the happiest he'd seen her in a long time. Was this all really still to do with him?

Once back to the Capital this evening, she'd be back to work and the typical worry of the election campaign. For now he figured that she was still among friends and that the pressures were off her. It was the same as what he noticed in her when she was at her mother's.

But he couldn't deny that he enjoyed seeing her happy. He'd gotten used to it over the past year and had come to desire that in her.

Turning to get something else, she finally noticed him in the doorway and turned to flash an embarrassed smile at him. "How long have you been there?"

Heero only returned a little smile to her, hinting that he'd caught her humming.

Laughing at herself, she turned away again to tuck a bag into her luggage. "Never mind," she brushed it off. Finished, she turned around and slipped up to him, her smile completely undaunted.

She moved to hug him, but he beat her to it, wrapping her in close and gently finding her lips. He didn't know how, and maybe not even why, but the only way he could live out his life was to allow her his emotions.

All of them. And in whatever form they took. He was just going to have to trust her with them.

* * *

Duo's smile was at half-mast as he stared at the two exchanging a kiss in the doorway. His hand was still around Dorothy's wrist as he hadn't released her since he'd found her and dragged her here bodily against her will. She'd stopped calling him names as soon as she got a glimpse of Heero and Relena too.

The two were side by side, peeked around the corner of the apartment area that housed Relena's room during her stay, just far enough away that apparently neither of their targets had noticed them.

Dorothy, for once, was struck dumb, staring wide-eyed at the pair. Duo himself was still in shock on all fronts and didn't know whether to be amazed, disbelieving, or just plain freaked.

Neither noticed that Quatre had followed them up the stairs and was worriedly watching their backs, unsure what had stopped the two so suddenly. Finally he peeked around them both and nearly groaned when he realized they were still spying on the couple.

Grabbing Duo's braid and a chunk of Dorothy's hair, he turned around and started hauling them off down the hallway again away from the display. It snapped both of them out of their stupor as they stumbled along backwards from the make-shift leashes.

"Why can't you two stop it?" he accused.

After they were away from the outer door, he gave in to the cries of pain and outraged threats and let them both go.

"No, Q, you don't understand," Duo started in immediately.

Quatre shook his head, not about to listen to his excuses. "You know, I figured out something a long time ago that apparently neither of you did."

Duo and Dorothy both looked back at him. Dorothy was still defensively swishing her hair back into place. "What?" she grumped at him.

With a happy little smile he returned each of their looks. "They'll find their own way, with or without you two." Calmly he turned and walk down the hall and around the corner, obviously deciding that that was all that needed to be said.

The other two stood for a moment in silence, letting that soak in before Dorothy turned to look at her partner who bowed his head with a little nod and a smirk. Looking back up he met her eyes. "Get him."

Neither needed any other prodding before they launched into a sprint down the hall and around the corner. From the adjacent corridor muffled yelps came only a few seconds later.

* * *

"Relena?"

"Hi Dorothy," she smiled. "Thank you again for all this work."

The ballroom was stacked with boxes but mostly back to normal. Dorothy and a few of the Maguanacs were carrying some of the unneeded items back up to the attic already. Rising, the taller girl stood from her spot next to a table littered with piles. "Of course. Anything for my dear friend," she smirked.

Relena carefully looked at her a second. Dorothy didn't use the term "friend" very often, and when she did you had to be very careful that it wasn't a setup for something else.

And she was right. The catty smile that lit the other woman's face almost sent a shiver down her back. "What?"

"I think someone's holding out on me," she mockingly said in a hurt tone of voice. "Here I thought we shared all of our thoughts and dreams."

"Since when?" Relena questioned back, uneasy with the glint in the woman's eyes.

"I don't think you're being very honest with me," Dorothy went on, ignoring the question. "So, tell me then, how are you and your beloved these days?" she hummed suspiciously at her.

Uh oh. What had Dorothy found out? "We're fine, thank you," she flashed her a smile.

"Just fine?" the other blinked expectantly.

What did this woman want from her? She wasn't about to just split wide open and confess that Heero admitted he loved her last night on whim. How could she possible confide something like last night to someone else? It was sweet and wonderful and private….

"Relena?" came the singsong.

Blinking, she looked back at the other and hadn't realized that she'd lost herself in her memories.

Dorothy sighed wistfully and gave her a sappy-sugary smile. "That good, huh?"

Oh no. "What do you mean?" she asked, trying to cover with a smile.

"You're blushing," the other cooed.

She could handle a room full of politicians breathing down her neck, but one _friend_ with a habit of vicariously mooching off of her love life, and she fell to pieces. "Oh," she sighed.

Relena was saved when a couple of Maguanacs returned to pick up some of the boxes around them and take them off again. Dorothy stood as well, and picked up a couple to follow them. "Maybe it's time I give your dearest some credit," she mused with a nod. Winking at her, Dorothy leaning into her shoulder as she passed. "Do please try to keep me posted a little better though."

Relena laughed to herself as Dorothy walked away with her items. Regardless of how they did it, she realized that her friends were all rooting for them. It was honestly heartwarming for her to know that. Somehow they had all found the two worthy of each other and seemed to approve.

Everything seemed to be falling into place so well. Relena was so happy, she just didn't want this to end.

* * *

The chateau was mostly back to normal by this afternoon. Heero had his group packed and ready to move out. He was still waiting for Relena to finish up her goodbyes to Dorothy and Hilde. After double-checking both of the vehicles and ensuring everything was packed and in place, he entered the house again.

He hadn't expected to see Quatre waiting for him in the porch area though. Stopping instantly, he took a closer look at the man's expression as he stood against the inner doorway, his eyes focused mostly on the floor in front of him.

Heero had seen that type of hooded look in him a few times before. None of them had been precursors to pleasant situations.

Looking up to acknowledge him, Quatre blinked back what Heero could only name as anger in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he quietly opened. "I think I've endangered you."

Instantly alert, Heero quickly paced a few steps closer, closing the distance and helping to ensure they weren't overheard.

"Andrew knows me," he continued, unaffected by the reaction. "I'm not sure if that means Byron does too or not, but it's best to assume he does." Swallowing, he turned away. "I'm doubtful there will be any problems though. He's not one to… lose the advantages of his secrets."

If Andrew knew that Quatre was a Gundam pilot, then he would more than likely have been able to profile himself and Duo, possibly even Wufei. Secondarily, he would easily jump to the conclusions of who, especially among those in this house, knew and was aiding in their cover.

Heero had expected this from the moment Une assigned them on this team. The fact that he'd broken Quatre's cover instead of his own was the only difference. "You don't see a threat?" he asked. Why would he form that conclusion?

Turning again to look at him, Quatre shook his head. "I know he's not."

Heero finally realized what the anger in his eyes had been for. Tossing a glance through the doorway towards the rest of the house, he quick decided he understood Quatre's reasoning.

This was a personal vendetta.

Andrew had sought out Quatre, probably not for anything specific, but just to find out what his history was. Dorothy's ex had stumbled over their covers purely by jealous accident then.

It had been a messy situation to start with. Heero had known that since the beginning. Now it had turned complicated.

"Understood," he answered with a nod.

Quatre nodded back to him, obviously expecting to take the blame for the slip. But Heero left it at that and continued into the house. There was nothing he could do about the core problem. That was between Andrew, Quatre and Dorothy.

But the dilemma Heero had been ignoring with Andrew all this time had now been forced to the surface. The problem now was if it was possible to resolve it.

* * *

"We can only learn to love by loving." - Iris Murdoch

AN: I know some of you have asked if I would consider doing a Duo/Hilde piece. Unfortunately, I believe the answer is no. This will probably be as close as I get to them. The two are so very cute though that they had to get a little screen time.


	30. Chapter 30

AN: To my readers, with love. I know it's been a long time, but you haven't been forgotten. I offer you this Christmas present in hopes that you'll forgive me.

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 30

Andrew supposed he should be flattered that he was being called back for round two. If the infamous Quatre Raberba Winner's pointed words of caution weren't enough, perhaps his brother-in-arms would be more forth-coming.

The famed outlaw heroes of their generation, the Gundam pilots. And they all seemed to be so eager to talk him out of exposing them.

He wouldn't dream of it. There was no sense in handing them over to the waste-of-breath media. The stories would be turned and thwarted so quickly they wouldn't even make it to the front page headlines. His own dear Dorothy would have her hand in ensuring that, along with a number of powerful, former Romafeller members.

Andrew would be hung with his own noose.

It was far more advantageous to keep that little card safely in his deck. Not only was it a prestige item, but a matter of good manners. After all, there's no honor is discrediting people you already respect.

But Agent Yuy wasn't Quatre Winner. Where the teenaged corporate leader had tried first to explain to him that the pilots could make good on a second chance in life, Agent Yuy would probably be far more direct. As he listened to the younger man close his office door, Andrew wondered if the weapon he'd threaten him with would be Heero's standard issue sidearm.

It didn't matter. Andrew had no rank or resource yet that would declare him untouchable, but Heero wasn't nearly stupid enough to kill him. If nothing else, his father would ensure that the publicly loved/hated Agent would meet an untimely demise for the cameras as payment.

That would create a rather ugly feud amongst what was left of the mighty Romafeller. It may finally serve them justice, though.

Although, if he was dead he wouldn't suppose he'd care.

Mentally shrugging it off, he turned to look over his shoulder away from the wall of glass that he'd been staring out. Agent Yuy had asked him to his office alone. Andrew had come. Nothing more to do but accept the situation.

Heero didn't make any production out of offering him a seat or asking if his off-time was pleasant. The man had probably had the last four days of leave scheduled for their team to analyze what to say to him. What would it be? A plea? An illustration of what his life had been? The ever popular "I'll make it worth your while?" Somehow, none of those seemed fitting.

His superior simply said nothing, stepping up instead to face out the window beside him, looking down on the Capital building across the street.

Andrew watched him, waiting, and then finally turned back to the view as well. He never initiated. It wasn't his temperament.

Heero's thoughts circulated in a completely different way. When he had first understood the scope of what he'd done by destroying the shuttle filled with the Alliance heads he had taken the only recourse he could. He had offered retribution to each of the living relatives of the Noventa family. He had offered them the chance to take the life of their family member's murderer.

But Andrew was soldier, a decent fighter and a fairly skilled marksman. Heero wasn't prepared to offer that opportunity again.

Admiral Varnhem, Navel commander of the Alliance military. He had been aboard the same plane as Noventa, and had been killed because of it. Heero still felt the responsibility for taking the lives of those who wanted to begin peace negotiations even now, and even after knowing that it wouldn't have mattered if they had lived. OZ would have found another way around them.

But Heero couldn't offer Andrew the chance to redeem his grandfather. His life held value to someone else now. Looking down on the Capital building, he knew in no uncertain terms that his life was not purely his own anymore.

Relena would be sad….

It was an unacceptable situation. Therefore, "We owe each other nothing."

Apparently confused, Andrew turned to regard him. "Agent?"

"You've become aware of my past," Heero acknowledged, still not bothering to look at him.

With an interested sounding hum, he turned back to the window as well. "Purely by accident."

"I owe you nothing for it," he stated again.

"I didn't ask for anything," Andrew refuted.

"I killed your grandfather."

There was a lengthy pause as the man froze, nothing but the stutter in his breathing letting Heero know that he understood the full implications of that statement. This man knew it was a Gundam pilot that destroyed that plane.

It didn't matter.

"OZ killed my grandfather," Andrew finally responded. His voice held no remorse, or anger, or anything else. It was a quiet, simple fact.

Heero wasn't expecting that, but mentally let himself ease that old guilt out again. No retribution would be required. He'd underestimated Andrew.

"Thank you for admitting to it," he calmly continued. "But my family has always known what military service means. He died as a soldier, and I will not fault a man who believed he was defeating an enemy."

Those who had never seen real combat seemed to have so much poetry about dying in it.

"I'm no threat to any of you," Andrew finally finished.

"Hn," he nodded. Andrew didn't even count as a threat. Quatre would personally look after the situation anyway, but the simple fact of who he was ensured in Heero's mind that he wouldn't be stupid enough to try to reveal them.

The sooner he was done with these underhanded dealings the better.

Turning away from the view below, he started back towards his desk. "Dismissed. You and Byron report to Commander Une for reassignment at the end of the week."

There was a light chuckle from the other as Heero continued to his desk and took a seat. "That's it?"

Heero glanced back up at him before turning to his computer and calling up Relena's schedule to review it. "Hn."

"Very well," Andrew turned away from the window and then started towards the door. "That's the end of my story."

Heero didn't bother to acknowledge him.

Reaching for the door handle, Andrew paused before turning back over his shoulder. "The public needs Miss Relena," he stated bluntly. "Call on us any time." Getting a nod of acknowledgement, he finally opened the door and slipped out.

Une knew what she was doing. The connections wrapped up in those two men could prove valuable if something ever came up. As long as they remained in the opinion that she was needed, they could make excellent sources.

Relena still had her way of winning people over.

The more influence she gathered, the more he would need to keep an eye on the shadier dealings surrounding her. That would be a never-ending security measure.

* * *

Heero had no official reason to be here. The government building's security measures were the limit of necessary precautions for Relena's safety. There was no purpose in having a guard in the room.

But he couldn't get around the fact that he felt he needed to be there.

What this feeling was, he couldn't name. It wasn't instinct based as he was used to. He would follow those feelings in him without question considering how many times as they had saved his life on the battle field. This was different.

This was emotional.

Sometimes it became irritating to him that he was still finding ways that Relena was influencing him. When would he figure this out?

The council sat silent, most of them reading over the sheets in front of them. Relena stood at the end of the table, the computer screens behind her still showing the numbers she'd just projected. Minister Wellington sat to her right, his arms crossed over this chest and a frown creasing his forehead.

Nothing about this had been easy, and Heero didn't expect that to change now.

"This is… completely unreasonable," the chairman quietly began, her eyes never leaving the pages. "This is twice the allotted budget for the whole project. Where do you intend to draw this from?"

"The budgets for the remaining four years are reworked on pages twenty-three," Relena stated easily. "Projections can be shown through the next ten years as raising the total cost of population placement by a mere eight percent."

"Ten years?" another popped in, finding the page in question. "How can you possibly project for ten years if we're contemplating making changes on this type of scale after less than one?" he scoffed.

"Changes occur," she reasoned softly, still minding her best political manners.

"But the funding isn't here," the chairman shook her head and looked up. "In recent history, no single project has ever incurred this kind of debt."

Folding her hands in front of her, Relena met the woman's eyes. "In recent history, no single project has ever dealt with the lives of so many people either."

"There's no way to recoup this," another threw in.

The chairman lowered her eyes to the pages again, seemingly out of her element faced with implications they offered.

Relena shook her head, "That's not true. The only thing on the table at this moment is the shipping line between Earth and Mars. Once a solid tie can be established, I have no doubt that the private sector will come to us looking for a way to buy into Mars."

"That's nothing but suspicion."

"True," she nodded. "But with the Colonies and Earth united, there are now a number of industries that are worried. Opening trade between the two has increased fears that natural resource markets could become saturated. Adding a third market can only increase the economy."

"We're already dealing with the growing pains. Interest rates will go through the roof. No one will be able to afford to move there once we have the planet terra-formed."

Staring the man down, Relena shook her head. "You were the one that just said we couldn't accurately forecast what will happen that many years from now."

The man threw a look back to the chairman and then went back to the papers, avoiding Relena's eyes.

In turn, she looked around at the others again before sneaking a look in his direction in the back corner of the room. Heero met her eyes for only a second before turned back the council's questions again.

And somehow, he understood why he was here.

* * *

"Can't we do this after the election?" Minister Wellington stared down at the document in front of him with the closest thing to a pout Relena had ever seen out of the man.

With a smile she walked over and patted him on the shoulder. "Regardless of what happens to us, it needs to be done," she tried.

Raising his head to look at her he blinked. "That's not comforting."

* * *

"What the hell…?" Melton Pearl squinted at the TV screen. "What'd he say?" he yelled back, trying to scoot closer to hear.

Rich lounged in his chair, a hand propping up his chin, and ignored his uncle. Listening intently, he waited for the end of the speech to even try to decipher the implications this would entail.

"Rich! Turn the thing up, boy!" he yelled again, still trying to figure out what was going on.

For once not bothering to remind the man that he needed a hearing aid, Rich reached for the remote and pushed the volume up.

"…_beginning in the earliest phases of the project we can anticipate servicing the Mars territory far more effectively. This is the type of conviction that we have been hoping for since the very beginning of dialogs over this endeavor. These are opportunities that we can not afford to miss. In the coming months, we will begin the arduous task of implementing these changes and call on all Representatives to understand how this will impact their territory's economies. We welcome all help and suggestions,"_ Minister Wellington closed.

"The damned man's lost his mind," Melton mumbled, shaking his head sadly. "He used to be so conservative."

"That wasn't him," Rich noted, lowering the volume again as the floor was turned back to the Speaker. "He is too conservative. He'd never push for this during an election."

With a heavy sigh, his uncle slumped back in his chair again. "Well, doesn't that just screw the pooch?"

Ignoring him, Rich calmly smiled. "You are far too over-confident, Miss Relena," he mumbled.

"We've got twenty-one percent of the vote, junior," his uncle scoffed at him. "Don't think she needs to feel threatened."

"This has nothing to do with winning or losing," he refuted.

"First time you've said that," Melton mumbled.

Still staring at the television screen, Rich only continued to smile. "Don't you listen to the news? I have a personal vendetta against her."

"Says who?"

With a shrug, he finally acknowledged the confused man. "Losing gracefully isn't my taste."

"You don't eat carrots either, but when did I care about your tastes?"

Rich rolled his eyes with a disheartened sigh.

* * *

Over the past couple months it had gotten to be a tradition. Relena sat curled into the couch, leaning against Heero's side.

Her travels had taken the group into the Colonies many times as well as through areas of the planet. But she was never more than a conference call away from the Mars Terra-forming council.

It wasn't easy, but once she'd convinced the Minister to take up the cause, it had steadily gained enough support to go before the Representatives today. Minister Wellington had chosen to announce it himself, saying he would leave the follow up to her. It was probably a wise choice. She would have gotten too emotional during the first presentation and blown their chances outright.

And so, she sat here, next to her boyfriend as he worked and she stared at her half-prepared statements for tomorrow. It didn't seem to make much difference what it was that the two did during their time together. It was merely the fact that they kept finding time to be together.

The others were still here as well, Ry, Alli and Delano chatted amongst themselves. She wasn't paying attention to them either. Day by day things were falling into place. The election was still shaping up to be a landslide. After Toloma's kidnapping attempt on her it had boosted their supporters to new heights. The Mars shipping service was now officially on the table and the first stages could begin as early as next month.

The Representatives that she had personally called on between the campaign trail and fact-finding were backing her as well, or better, than could be expected. After the initial shock of the idea had worn off, people were slowly beginning to see the benefits on the line.

Of course there were steadfast opponents. The money necessary for her complete ideal was simply nowhere to be found. But of course, her complete ideal had never been mentioned to anyone outside of this room either. For now she could only focus on one area at a time. Give them enough information to take the next step, and then she would work on the one after that.

It was the only logical path she could follow.

She would not leave Mars alone. And she would still find a way to help those that wanted it.

Her greatest support for that sat right here beside her. No matter where she went, Heero was right beside her. He had only spoken to her once or twice, cautioning her about getting ahead of herself. He'd never actually said he supported her, or believed in the project. It wasn't his way, and she didn't need him to. He would only attempt to "influence" her enough to change her mind if he felt she was wrong.

He'd never asked her to re-think this.

It was all she needed. His very presence was the only assurance she needed from him.

As long as she had his approval, everyone else's she could work on with confidence. This had become her mission, the deepest desire she held right now.

However, even Mars' dilemma wasn't quite enough to distract her from realizing one little thing: Heero had never again admitted that he loved her.

Two months. In two months he had never said those words to her again. Each time she told him she loved him, she had a touch of hope that he'd repeat it, but he never did. A time or two she thought she'd gotten close to hearing it again, but the words didn't seem to want to leave him.

She'd begun to wonder if maybe he didn't realize that he was required to say that more than once in life. Of course, she tried very hard not to make it seem like it bothered her.

But it bothered her.

He'd needed a little persuasion to get it out of him the first time, but she hadn't thought anything about that at the time. It was Heero, he had just been uncertain. But what if it wasn't just uncertainty? Or rather, what if there was still uncertainty? What if what he'd finally admitted to her wasn't really what she'd thought it was?

Did she dare ask? That was a question that came to mind a lot in the past couple weeks. Her anxiety was growing with each passing day. He hadn't lost a bit of his affection towards her, and truthfully had grown braver in his role as her boyfriend. Une still chided him and he was often kept out of the line of the cameras if possible, but he never shied away from her, either publicly or privately.

Their alone time was as limited and monitored as always of course, but the freedom she felt from not having to hide this was enough to make up for it. Just being able to be next to him like this had become something she looked forward to after a long day in the limelight.

But her heart was hurt each time she whispered "I love you," and got only a kiss or hug in response.

Did she ask? What did she do, corner him and force him to say it again? That would end up meaning nothing.

What held him back? Was it her? Was it something she'd done? Did he feel she didn't need to hear it? Was he even sure? Did he… did he actually mean it the first time?

Relena closed her eyes a moment, willing that thought not to scare her like it normally did. He was still here, still close, still the same. There was no reason for her to think that. It was just a misunderstanding. Just something they weren't the same in. Just a communication issue.

Nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong.

"Relena?"

Nothing's wrong. "Hum?" she pushed her eyes open again to look down at the data pad in her lap again.

"Are you alright?" Heero asked in low voice.

"Just worn out," she answered, attempting to not interrupt the others' conversation either. "I'm fine." Looking up at him, she forced herself to meet his eyes as he scrutinized her.

He never asked any more than that. She was sure he believed her; he had no reason not to.

Instead she gave him a little smile and turned away to her work again, leaning her head on his shoulder, leaving her words unspoken again.

* * *

Relena blinked at the sound of the laughing woman on the other end of the line. Having no idea which cluster she was actually on at the moment, she didn't even bother to figure out what time it was. All she knew was that she'd finally been blissfully asleep when her private mobile phone rang.

There were very few people in the Sphere that had that number, and usually only one that habitually used it. She was right when she groggily answered it to hear Hilde's voice cheerfully greeting her, and then promptly began laughing.

"Hilde? What's so funny?" she asked, laying back down and snuggling into her covers again.

"You won't believe this!" the other gushed.

Giving up before she even began to guess what could possibly provoke this kind of response from her friend, she closed her eyes again and pretended to rest. "Won't believe what?"

With another giggle, Hilde squealed in her ear before trying to calm herself again. "Relena…" she tried to pause for dramatic effect, "we're getting married!"

* * *

Relena stared at her toast, not even bothering with the normal breakfast. Finally she blinked slowly out of it and moved her eyes to the coffee pot on the table instead. On autopilot, she took a cup and carefully poured the hot liquid into it, and then added cream.

Bringing it close to her she let the steam waft up towards her face as she picked up the container of sugar. Pausing, she held the thing ready to pour it into her cup but fell back into blankly staring at the brown liquid in front of her.

Alli watched her over the top of the paper she was holding, not knowing if she should say something or not. Glancing over, she caught Ry's eyes as he too watched her with blatant concern. The two silently shrugged at each other and then turned to look up at Delano who stood watching her over the top of the section of the paper he held.

He returned both of their looks as well before slightly shaking his head to say he didn't know what was wrong either.

Unaware, Relena moved again enough to add sugar to her cup before she set the container down on the table. Watching the liquid swirl around in the cup, she said nothing, did nothing, just watched it until all movement in the liquid stopped once more.

Blinking, she seemed to realize that she was staring again, and then picked up the sugar container once more to add an equal measure to what she had the first time. Setting it aside, she picked up her spoon to stir it.

But still she never looked up at them to say anything or even acknowledge they were there.

Ry quietly cleared his throat, which did no good at all. Finally he just pasted up a smile and turned to her. "Miss Relena, didn't know you even liked coffee."

Relena almost seemed started from her thoughts as she raised her eyes to meet his and then looked back at the cup in front of her. "Once and while," she returned, giving him a little smile. "I must be tired," she reasoned.

"Didn't sleep well?" Alli offered.

"No, not really," she admitted and then went back to slowly stirring.

"Are you worried about the announcement for the shipping service?" Del tried, throwing looks at the other two for support.

"That'll all work out," Alli caught up on his idea. "You've already laid the ground work."

"Yeah, and if it flops, they'll just have to go back to hiring it done," Ry assured.

He only shrugged at them when Del and Alli threw angry looks at him.

"No, I'm not that worried. I'm confident that this is the right path, and others will see that," Relena brushed it off. Picked up the sugar container, she carefully dumped in another serving before setting it aside and stirring once more.

"Well, that's good," Alli went on, still throwing glares at Ry. "I wouldn't want to be on Lois Donte's show this morning if I were that worried."

The effect of her words hit the way she'd hoped they would. Relena looked back up at her and then at the clock on the wall with a start. Whatever it was that was weighing on Relena's mind, she needed to have her wits about her before she went on the air with the media giant—and Rich Pearl's ex love interest—in little over an hour.

"You're right," she mumbled to herself and flashed them all a smile as she got up and went back to her own room to finish getting ready.

The three turned to look back down at the cup of coffee she'd left on the table beside the untouched toast.

Making sure that she was in her room, Ry leaned over and took the cup, glancing at them both before he tasted it and winced. "Yeah, this isn't good," he muttered. Setting the cup back down with a grimace, he took a swig of his own instead.

* * *

Heero walked back to the set of rooms his team was in, having assured that their cars were out front and waiting. Walking in, he stopped short when his three subordinates hurriedly rushed over and all but pushed him back out the door into the hallway. Instantly alert for trouble, he was about to protest before they started in.

"You have to talk to her," Alli demanded.

"Something's wrong," Delano added.

"She's totally out of it," Ry put in as well. "Donte's going to eat her alive like this."

"Like what?" Narrowing his eyes at Ry he almost didn't wait for an answer. What was wrong with Relena? Was she sick? Injured? "What happened?"

"She's just spaced out," Ry held up his hands to ward off the look Heero was obviously giving him.

"She obviously didn't sleep well last night," Alli finally gave him something useful. "Something's wrong."

Not waiting for anything else, he pushed through them and entered the front room of the apartment suite the team had. Not seeing her, he moved to her door and knocked, pushing down the worry he felt. They were most likely over-reacting. The team seemed to do that from time to time. They didn't realize how much she could handle.

"Coming!" she announced from behind the door.

A few seconds later it opened and Relena stood there looking the same as usual. Giving her a quick look over, she appeared fine. Looking closer at her eyes she did seem tired, but she was awake. "The others are worried," he quietly announced, noticing that they hadn't entered the apartment with him.

"About what?" she asked, confused.

Letting himself relax, he shook his head. "Alli said you didn't sleep last night."

A smile tugged at her lips and a chuckle escaped her. "I didn't realize that I worried them." With a sly smile, she stepped in and wrapped her arms lightly around his waist. "I got a phone call from Hilde last night," she admitted, her eyes lowered over his jacket front. But her smile didn't lower. "She had some interesting news."

The way she said "interesting" was enough of a hint. Heero stood and watch her as she giggled at herself again and then raised a hand to straighten his ID badge on his jacket.

"Apparently Duo actually asked her to marry him."

"Did she accept?" he asked. Idly he wondered what kind of fallout would come if Hilde told him no.

"Of course she did," Relena looked up at him in abandon.

He'd thought it was a legitimate question.

* * *

Alli sat in utter disbelief, wide eyed at that television feed being recorded in the booth they sat in.

Delano glared at Lois Donte's image from his position against the back wall, not having uttered a word in the past twenty minutes.

Ry was alternating between his seat and pacing around, loudly stating his opinions of the hostess of the show, no matter what the tech support crew also in the booth thought about it.

Heero was quiet, his eyes never leaving the movements of the crew around the area, ensuring that the closed set was safe. Because that was the only thing he could keep safe.

"This proposal reads like a science fiction novel," Lois pointed out. Dressed it a black suit with a short skirt, it matched her mood apparently. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head and run through with hair sticks in a silent metaphor for what she was doing to her guest.

Relena sat, calm and refined as always, a peach suit helping to designate her the light to Lois' dark. She answered what she could of the questions that kept being fired at her, but keeping up was impossible. The hostess had it out for her from the moment the two shook hands and sat down to the discussion.

"How do you honestly expect the government to respond to this?"

"I expect it to respond the way it does to any new proposal," Relena tried to sneak in.

"Why now? Why this? What do you have against the standing order of things to cause this kind of upheaval?"

"Our government is still new. There's no such thing as 'standing order' in—"

"Is this just a bid to see how much you can push through on name alone, Miss Relena?" Lois cut her off again. "You won't be satisfied until someone finally tells you no, will you? What are you really trying to prove?"

Relena sat and waited for a second, blatantly waiting for the woman to finish her tirade. "You act like you think this is of some personal benefit to me alone. Why?" she came back with her own comment.

"Yeah!" Ry cheered her on even though there was no way she could hear him.

"Who else would stand up before the Representatives and basically tell them that they are going to bankrupt the government because they think it's a good idea?" Lois threw back.

"This project will not bankrupt anything. That's a gross exaggeration—"

"This will raise the budget for the entire project almost four times more than it was originally meant to cost. How do you justify that?"

"The costs will be offset once settlement begins," Relena emphasized.

"_If_ it's settled. Where's the line of people waiting around for the open doors of Mars? You're talking about pioneering completely uncharted territory. We're going to be bribing people to go there, not making them take a number."

"How do you know?"

For once in the past forty minutes, Lois stopped. "Excuse me?"

"How do you know?" Relena asked again. It was getting to her. There was a hint of frustration, but her words still carried without anger.

Still, Heero knew it was taking a far deeper toil on her than Relena would ever show.

"Have you decided for the general populous already that no one wants to go to Mars?" she slowly continued, her pointed words leaving no room for the other to interfere. "Can you, or I, or anyone else tell people where they want to call home? Can you tell me that there is no one out there that would want to leave the Earth Sphere behind for the task of conquering Mars?"

"Conquering?" Lois blinked.

"The people who feel called to a place like Mars are those that are tired of trying to hide away and live here. The appeal is to those whose lives are still unstable. People that are looking for a place to belong, a place to start over, or a place to simply disappear."

With a confused look Lois shook her head. "You're suggesting we make it a penal colony?"

The flash of repulsion that crossed Relena's face was enough to silence that idea. "No. I am saying that Mars is the perfect opportunity. It calls for discipline and sacrifice, and that is not a task that just anyone can handle."

"And so you're ideal Martian is whom?" Lois snickered.

Heero blinked, his focus shifting instantly to Relena's image on the screens surrounding them.

"Anyone willing to create a new home," she answered affectionately.

With a silent sigh, Heero watched her image as she continued to try to salvage the blatant attack against her.

Wrong answer.

* * *

"You dated that?" Melton Pearl snorted at his nephew. "Boy, you're an idiot."

"I didn't really get a word in edgewise with her either," Rich mused.

"Can't you find a nice, quiet girl?"

"Like you did?"

"Don't you get mouthy with me."

"Yes, Uncle."

"Richy!"

"Lois did single-handedly give us five more percentage points in the polls," he changed the subject.

"Stick-woman would have lost us fifteen if she'd made Darlian cry."

"Miss Darlian is quite resilient. I'm sure she's faced worse."

* * *

It was an odd experience. Even after so long, Heero had never exactly seen Relena like this.

More than just frustration or anger, she was displaying a different mood than normal.

"Yeah," Ry watched her thrash around the room, packing as she continued a random monologue, "she's still pissed."

Heero looked down at the man as he sat on a chair backwards beside the table. Somehow that didn't seem like a description he could use for Relena.

Not commenting, he turned back to watch her randomly walk past the doorway to her room. Alli was helping her to pack as well, although he was assuming that she was attempting to be consoling.

He wasn't certain, but Heero didn't think that was going well.

"So…" Ry drew his attention back. "Why are we pulling out of here two days early?"

He watched through the open doorway a little longer, only half listening to the outbursts she was exchanging with Alli. "We're taking her home," he quietly returned.

"She'll just get more of this at work, you know," Ry sighed.

With a slight shake of his head, Heero glanced at him. "We're taking her to her mother's," he clarified. There were only two people that he knew of that could help her more than he could right now, and he was willing to ask for backup.

The other blinked, taking interest in that idea. "Oh yeah?" With a confused look at the door and then back up to him, Ry nodded back towards her room. "Did she ask for that?"

Closing his eyes, Heero tried to settle the over-protective side of himself again. "No."

* * *

She was exhausted. More than just physically tired, she was struggling to even care anymore. Nothing was going according to plan, and everyone seemed to be lining up to shoot holes in her ideas. Relena was tired of being pushed around from place to place. She was sick of needing cheat notes to remember which city or colony or territory she was in when she began her speeches.

She didn't know why she bothered. The only people who where listening to her were the ones that wanted to tear her to shreds. All the hopes she held for the shipping project were slowly falling apart. No one was taking up the call. No one was coming forward as willing. The ex-soldiers that she so desperately wanted to give a home to were silent and nowhere to be found.

She was doing this wrong. Something was just wrong. Why didn't anything work?

Relena fell asleep the past couple nights with thoughts like this. Now, she fell asleep on Heero's shoulder as the shuttle sped along towards her childhood home.

And he knew she'd drifted off purely due to the toil this had taken on her. Watching her, he waited; listening to the slow, even breaths she took. His work had been ignored for most of an hour now. It could wait.

The others were in the cockpit, giving them time together. For some reason the others seemed to think that was necessary.

But Relena did seem to respond to him differently than she did to the rest of the team. That should be normal to him by now, but it was still taking an adjustment. He was never exactly sure what it was that he was supposed to do for her.

It didn't seem to matter. She still accepted him. And he still wondered how.

Heero set his laptop aside, the next month's worth of her touring schedule still up for him to study. He had three buildings that he still needed blueprints for and six areas that he wanted confirmation of local police or Preventers assistance to cover.

And he set it aside.

There was something so innocent in the idea that she could fall asleep beside him. Something so trusting that he couldn't escape from. He let his eyes drift to her hands that loosely held a data pad in her lap. Thinking back, he could remember the feeling of Malia Billings' little hand in his as he escorted her back to her nanny after she'd snuck into the Presidential conference.

Relena was in no way childish. She had seen pain in life and knew the trials that existed. And more than that, she knew without a doubt that she had enemies.

But she could still fall asleep with him.

What was the real difference between them? Was it merely situation? Could he have been so trusting once?

It didn't matter. He kept thinking about things that didn't matter. He never used to waste his time on things like this.

He had time now. Too much time. Despite the hectic travels and demands on them, it still wasn't enough to keep him focused. Instead his mind wondered about things that less than a year ago he would have never contemplated.

Times like this.

Forcing himself towards more productive thoughts, his focus moved from her hands to the data pad she'd been studying. Relena kept a running set of notes and thoughts that she referred back to frequently. Questions that had been raised, both for and against her, she could write out an answer to. It seemed to help her prepare.

He'd seen her writing in it many times in the couple days since Donte's program. A whole set of questions that had never been asked were now on the table for discussion. Mars had come with its own set of problems that she would need to find a way to field.

Glancing down the list that was displayed on the screen, Heero stared at it and then glanced back at the top of her head on his shoulder. Carefully listening to her breathing, he reached over and slipped the pad away from her.

He knew what it was that she was trying to do. He almost understood it to a point. But he had also become aware that Relena herself didn't understand it. _"Anyone willing to create a new home."_ She believed that. But it didn't translate the way she wanted.

Quietly he scrolled through the whole document, a hint of a smile coming to his face at some of her mental remarks. No matter how many questions she answered, or thoughts she shared, it wasn't the same as the person he could see written in this set of personal notes.

And it still proved to him that their understandings would never match in several areas.

Glancing at her again, he realized that he was worried. That wasn't a reaction he dealt with well. Heero had always committed himself to not influencing her decisions. That wasn't entirely possible. Especially if asked, he couldn't refuse her requests for information.

Scanning the last set of questions and answers he knew that she was missing her mark. Relena had her heart tied into this project, even more than usual.

Coming to a slow decision, he softly began to type.

* * *

Heero was sure he'd been right. Once back into her childhood home, Relena had given in to her mother's concern and Pegan's threats to make her eat. As he'd suspected, they both had a better way of handling the situation than he did.

Allowing herself to be coaxed towards the kitchen with promises of her favorite cheesecake, he caught an honest smile on Relena's face. It may only be a temporary fix, but she needed time to recuperate and strategize.

"She'll be alright," Mrs. Darlian softly commented at his side when the others had left.

"Hn," he nodded.

"It's never easy," she continued. He turned to look at her when she placed a hand on his shoulder, her eyes still on the door her daughter and left through. "Sometimes it's just best that she knows that no matter what the public thinks, those closest to her will always love her."

He blinked, feeling a familiar sense of guilt.

"It was never possible for her father to distance himself from his position either," she shook her head. Turning she gave him a smile. "That's where we come in."

* * *

"In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people." – Judy Garland.

AN: No time for a long author's note, but I want to say again, Merry Christmas and hopes for a Happy New Year. I know I'm looking forward to a more settled and peaceful year to come.


	31. Chapter 31

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 31

Dawn came early in the summer months on Earth. With it rose the noise of birds. It wasn't a particular distraction but it wasn't the most ideal circumstance either. The wind was obviously higher than normal today as well. The natural force of it against the house created a few random noises in the walls and floorboards.

Each one alerted him. None yielded anything.

Heero had given up his attempts to work forty-seven minutes ago. Instead he stood leaned against the patio doors' molding in the library. Unconsciously he kept to the shadows as the daylight began to penetrate. Consciously he refused to look back at the doorway again.

She always came down on his shift. Even if it was just for a little while before the others got up. Relena seemed to enjoy the time she considered "stolen" between them. He'd never tried to validate that type of response. He was slowly becoming more proficient at simply accepting her amusements. He saw nothing wrong with the arrangement.

Any sudden abandonment of standard procedures was often a sign of discord. Or espionage.

So he had stood and waited for forty-eight minutes of the last hour of his shift. The rest of his team would be coming downstairs in five to fifteen minutes. He realized that Relena had been placed under far more stress than normal lately and that the majority of what she required now was rest, and in such, sleep.

Why did it bother him then?

* * *

Relena stretched with a yawn and slipped over to her bedroom window. She'd overslept this morning already, and she wasn't in any hurry to start her day. She intended to enjoy this little impromptu vacation Heero had provided her.

She had protested when he told her that he felt she should go home for a couple days. There were always too many things to do, but as always she didn't have a good enough argument against him.

So she was here, and she was truthful very happy about that. How did he always know these things? It was becoming uncanny.

Her problems with the election bid and Mars could all just wait. She forcefully told herself that, not only was she not going to work on anything for a couple days, but she even going to neglect the news coverage.

She didn't care right now. Maybe it was the morning sun, or the garden flowers that looked up at her, or just the idea of being hidden away for a moment or two, but she wanted this. Needed it really.

There were things more important in life than her career. She didn't seem to always believe it, but it was true. And she had already accidentally slept through her beloved's shift.

Oh, he probably hadn't even noticed.

Today was going to be about absolutely nothing in particular. It sounded so blissful at the moment.

She twirled away towards her bathroom and unthinkingly began humming.

* * *

Heero's eyes darted around the outlining fence that surrounded the Darlian estate. The land on three sides of the residence was undeveloped. One section dropped sharply down a cliff to the beach below. Two other sections were wooded and somewhat overgrown. As a measure of privacy it was more than adequate. But it also supplied too many vantage points for media photographers or snipers.

He was beginning to think of both as an equal menace. He should correct that.

"It was your idea to come here."

He didn't see what that had to do with the situation. It was Relena's desire to pick flowers in the garden that posed the risk.

"It was not only unannounced, it was unplanned. No one outside of this group even knows I'm here."

Trivial argument. Her mother's estate was well known and had been under some measure of media surveillance since the election bid began.

"You know, I'm not the only one who needs a little vacation."

Since he'd gotten used to it, he decided he didn't care for the way she insinuated things about him like that. "Your health is of greater concern."

"Heero!" she snapped in frustration.

He paused his scrutiny of the surrounding vegetation to look down at her, meeting her pointed expression.

After a moment she sighed and turned back to the bushes she was knelt down in front of. "Oh, forget it," she mumbled.

What now? For some reason in the past few weeks it didn't seem that she was ever satisfied with him. After scrutiny he was sure of it and it was becoming slowly more prevalent during their time alone together. It was… discomforting.

He was also at a loss for what to do about it.

Grudgingly he chose to reevaluate the risk assessment. She was correct that the lack of any information available for someone to use meant that the chances of even the media being alerted to their presence was limited. It didn't remove the risk, but it did bring a level of security that their team hadn't seen in at least the past month.

Glancing down at her again, he watched her scrutinized three or four flowers before choosing one and cutting it off to add to the slowly filling vase of water she'd brought. She seemed intent on getting one of each color.

He had still never figured out her engagement with plants.

Relena stood up again and moved around to the other side of the garden row. The roses were out in full bloom and the bushes stood tall and lush. It would be so easy to lose yourself out here in the narrow rows of the flowers.

That had been the thought behind this. To get lost for a little while. To be out and away from everything else. To relax and enjoy something for a moment.

There was nothing but a sour taste in her mouth though.

Sometimes she just gave up and admitted that her boyfriend was impossible.

Dropping down to her knees again in front of a white bush, she considered all of the flowers carefully just to kill time.

It wasn't that she didn't like their time together, but she was just getting sick of being the one doing all the work in this relationship. She understood his job as well as he did. She understood her role as well as he did. When was he going to get the point that maybe he needed to start taking "them" a little more seriously?

Choosing a bloom just in the prim of its beauty, she cut the thing from the plant in one, almost vicious, strike of her garden sheers. This was somehow therapeutic.

She moved to put it in the vase with the others and stopped. Looking up she finally noticed that Heero was holding it extended down to her for the rose. She'd forgotten it on the other side of the planter and hadn't noticed when he'd stepped up beside her again with it.

Not actually taking it from him, she placed the bloom into the vase with far more care than she'd cut it off the bush with.

She was being bitter, wasn't she? "Thank you," she said anyway and then rose only enough to move to the other side of the row and study a couple different red rosebushes. Selecting a spot, she knelt down again and sat back on her legs. Heero followed her, still holding the vase as though she hadn't dismissed him of the task yet.

Carefully she brushed one of the blossoms and let it sway on its stem a moment. "Have you ever heard of the meaning of rose colors?"

It was a fruitless conversation topic, but she liked it. She didn't feel like filling in the gap with anything eventful today.

"Meaning?" he repeated.

With a smile at the blooms in front of her she nodded, still studying them. "Flowers are all supposed to hold a meaning behind them. Roses come in all colors, so each one has a different significance." Pointing to the vase he still held she began to name through them. "Yellow: friendship. Pink: joy. Purple: enchantment. Orange: passion. White: innocence." Nodding back to the bushes in front of them she chose one and carefully positioned her sheers against its stem. "Red is for love."

With a snip the rose came away and she strategically placed it at one side of the group in the vase.

"What purpose does that serve?"

Turning again to the bushes she considered them all again. "It doesn't. It's just a romantic notion," she confessed.

There was a momentary pause before Heero surprised her by sinking down to sit next to her, placing the vase on the concrete pathway beside him. She blinked at him a second as he seemed to study the flowers as well.

With the bushes at full growth, the two were basically hidden in the foliage. The wind rustling through the rows was probably the only thing that could find them for the moment. Somehow that eased her more than anything else could.

Turning back to the bushes, she chose another rose and carefully cut it. Heero had obviously thought she was finished with her bouquet so she didn't give him the chance to offer her the vase again.

Instead, she slipped sideways against him and purposefully stretched over him towards it, taking her time in placing the last rose in the water. Half braced up against his side, she shifted a few of them, moving a few leaves here and there to make them sit more symmetrical.

Heero didn't shift away and he didn't move to politely hand her the vase either. He stayed put while she used him for a support and she smiled just a little to herself. "Two reds," she volunteered. "A person needs twice as much love as anything else."

Finishing, she shifted to look up at him, her nose barely an inch from his. That adorable expression of confusion showed plainly through his eyes. And she was more than willing to forgive him for not understanding this.

Raising her face to his, she kissed him eagerly. When she felt his arms wrap around her waist and press her closer, she pulled away from him only enough to laugh. Maybe she was the only emotive one here, but if she reminded herself to look for it, she could still see his own unique signs of affection.

And then sometimes, she just had to trust him.

Relena gasped as he pulled her backwards. She didn't even think to react until she found herself laid out with him on the concrete pathway, still wrapped in his arms. Tucked against his side and pillowed against his shoulder, she decided she didn't feel like complaining. Instead, she curled into him and settled a hand over his chest with a giggle.

Heero placed his hand over hers, keeping that touch that he'd grown used to. He listened to her giggle and when she quieted down, she went on to inform him about some of the other flowers in the garden. She kept up the lesson even if he wasn't attempting to remember her explanations.

He stared up at the sky overhead. The expansive blue seemed so indefinite compared to the view of a colony ceiling. The clouds barely moved above them instead of being swept by the steady wind tunneling machines. The breeze here was irregular and wandering.

Nothing was completely certain here.

He didn't exactly notice when Relena stopped talking. He wasn't aware of it until she moved to push herself up on her arms to look down at him.

"I think I lost you," she stated, a smile gracing her lips.

Heero blinked up at her, his breath catching at the words. "Lost?"

With a chuckle she nodded. "Somewhere after petunias I think." She shrugged and turned to look at the flowers around them. "Not that I expect you to be interested."

He lay there staring up at her, his memories swirling too close to the surface.

The wing tossed a few strands of her hair around as it fell over her shoulder from its low ponytail. It tickled past the short sleeve of her shirt, and down her bare arm until the ends danced softly over his chest.

It wasn't the same. There was nothing the matter.

But unbidden an image overlaid itself in his mind. A little red-haired girl out picking flowers and taking her puppy for a walk. A girl who had come over to see if he was lost. A girl that….

Heero swallowed painfully and forced the memory down again. More than once Relena had replaced that girl in his mind. The image of innocence. Now and then he had to remember just how quickly that innocence could be destroyed by some horrible mistake.

That was why he was here. That was…. He met her eyes again as she turned back to him. No, that was only part of why he was here.

Reaching up he lightly brushed her cheek. Relena turned into his hand, closing her eyes for a moment. She always responded to him. Every action he took, she accepted. It held a sense of wonderment even now after he'd known it for years. To affect someone the way she allowed him to was not something he understood. Survival was cause and effect, but this was not simple reaction, this was….

He didn't know. It was emotional. It was want—desire. It was something he had never realized he had the power to influence in someone else. It was as unfamiliar as it was burdensome. For the first time the affects of his actions held someone's emotions in the balance, not purely life and death. Why did that make it seem harder?

Tracing a thumb over her cheek, Relena opened her eyes to look down at him. "What?" she asked with a chuckle. "What are you thinking?"

Someone… someone who he could never hurt. Never allow to be hurt.

For once, he figured he was probably afraid. Taking responsibility for his actions was something that he'd only dealt with a couple times in life. Now, he had no order to simply follow, nothing to fall back on if he failed, no one to correct a situation that goes awry. And no chance of forfeiting his life in exchange.

All he had was her.

A single life was cheap, especially when it meant nothing to anyone else. Relena Darlian was different. Her life held the Sphere together.

She blinked down at him. "Heero?"

Heero Yuy. The name of the assassinated leader of the Colonies. The name given to him at the start of what had been his final mission. He understood without being told what it meant. He was to become the living retribution for that man. A cheap life in exchange for one that had held meaning.

She deserved someone like his name-sake. He had always known what she deserved.

Shifting his hand from her cheek and into her hair, he softly coaxed her back down towards him. She responded with a smile and an expression of resignation.

He knew what she deserved, but he also knew what she wanted.

He moved to meet her, capturing her lips as he eased them back to the ground, laying her against his chest.

The reasons didn't make sense to him. They never had. But as long as she wanted him, she had him. As long as she responded to him, he would take as much care as possible with her. And as fragile as her life was, he would give anything to protect her.

And as much as he didn't deserve her, he would be damned if anyone was going to take her from him.

Slowly he let her lips pull away from his and she moved to lay her forehead against his neck and shoulder. "Oh, Heero," she whispered. "I love you."

He shifted to lay his cheek against her head and opened his eyes again to stare up at the endless sky. "I love you too."

He felt her breath catch and she softly relaxed against him. He accommodated her and absently pulled the locks of her hair behind her back as she hummed in what he imagined to be approval. Her hand on his chest balled loosely around a button of his shirt. "You have no idea how much it means to hear that," she very quietly confessed.

Had he worried her? Perhaps she'd noticed his uncertainty. Heero still wasn't convinced that he really had the right to say that to her, but he had lost any reason not to. Tightening his grip around her, he tried to be reassuring.

The only reason he was here at all was because she was giving him a life to lead. She was his life, the only reason it held meaning. He wasn't lost anymore as long as she guided him. He just needed her to not give up on him. He needed her to….

"Believe in me."

He'd be anything she needed him to be.

* * *

The next morning Relena was down early. Early enough that she actually passed Delano in the hallway as the officer returned from his shift. His curious greeting was responded to with a smile and perky, "Good morning," and that was all. No explanation seemed to be necessary to her as she strolled downstairs and into the library hours before anyone else would be up.

Heero didn't seem to be expecting to see her up at four a.m. either.

And she simply gave him the same greeting and then tucked herself into the couch at his side, pillowing her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. Softly he pressed a kiss into her hair and went back to what he was working on.

Relena only laid there against him.

* * *

There were too many things in the way. Her mind was cluttered and nothing was coming out the way she wanted. The more she tried to make herself just sit down and do it, the more Relena's mind wandered towards more pleasant things.

Her beloved boyfriend for one.

_Focus_, she demanded herself. No one else was going to give her a vacation just because she wanted one. She'd set herself a very light schedule for today, just enough so that she wouldn't be behind when then headed back to the Capital tomorrow. Review a few things, read the latest blasts against her ideas from the general media, finish her notes, and call Sally for her weekly update.

So far she'd managed to do nothing but call Dorothy. However being the one to tell the blond heiress that Duo had popped the question had officially made her day. The poor unsuspecting woman had just about spit tea all over her monitor.

Chuckling again, Relena flipped through her notes, not wanting to do this in the least. She was still in too good of a mood to deal with her political career at the moment.

With a forceful sigh, she called up the last set of notes in her data pad, and gazed around the room of her father's den. When she had taken this position it had been a labor of love to go through the mountain of documents and prepare her speeches. She wondered if her father had ever gotten disheartened with it.

Probably. Life had a way of slowly corrupting the things you pour your heart into.

Nothing to do but struggle through. She'd find her place again. It was just a rough patch. Relena wasn't one to give in when things started to lose their focus.

She just had to pick one or two items and stick with them. Mars first, election later.

Back to her notes.

Lois Donte had a whole heading to herself. The media agent had not gotten on her good graces. In truth, Relena was willing to state that Richard Pearl had lousy taste in women. She was rude, arrogant, and probably the most biased, unbendable women she'd ever met that didn't hold political office. Lois was….

Relena stopped her little mental tirade and scanned her notes again. Under specific question headings, her responses were split up. Chunks of text were added in a smaller font here and there, as though responding to her responses.

Scrolling through, she blinked at it and then went back to the top and began reading the whole section again.

She hadn't written these. She'd only started to flesh out her log of thoughts related to these accusations. Where…?

_The prospect of Mars assures the eternal existence of mankind. Even through the conflicts that enveloped Earth and the Colonies, people have never lost their ability to dream of the possibilities of outer space, the desire to start over again. But this new world, this new creation in the likeness of the Earth, is bound to come with its own conflicts. Our generation has been forged by battle and has seen, and regrets, the destruction caused by it._

_The desire for control is a part of every living person. The determination necessary to achieve it has already been implanted in the minds of many of the Sphere's citizens. Mars presents the next battlefield to these. It is not a war of any type we have seen before. It's a new era in mankind's history, waiting for those with the initiative and fight to create a new Earth once again._

_The meaning to human existence lies within the hearts of those who fight. Mars calls for the soldiers who can believe in the cause of preserving humanity, and those that will find accomplishment in the work for a new world. It calls those who have been tainted by the bloodshed of the Earth and the Colonies to finally be able to find a place where their lives hold meaning._

…Heero.

* * *

"You're suggesting that I call out the soldiers specifically."

Heero didn't even seem to need to recognize what she was talking about. "They're your intended targets," he reasoned.

"But," she stalled, making her way over to sit down beside him, ignoring Ry and Alli's odd looks, "but to make it so blatant…."

She looked at him, meeting his eyes for an explanation or at least a course of action. Heero only returned her stare for a moment before he seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. Leaning towards her, he gently raised a hand to tip her chin up. "If you're going to lead them, do it."

* * *

"_Coming off of the almost slanderous Lois Donte program last week, Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian has hit the campaign trail running. Her schedule for the next month has been released to the public and it includes stops in each of the hot-spot territories for this race. This builds up, of course, to the Vice Ministerial Debates set early next month. This is the first time a debate will be held over the office of Vice Minister. The Foreign Minister candidates will meet two weeks later."_

"_Well, it's only natural for a race like this to include a debate session between the Vice candidates. On one hand you have Relena Darlian who is a household figure and who is carrying the entire Wellington-Darlian bid. On the other side you have this charismatic, charming rival who seems to be enjoying the chance to call all of Darlian's pet projects into question. If nothing else, it promises to be a very insightful conversion that will more than likely be led by Richard Pearl's scrutiny."_

"_A match up to watch, that's for sure."_

"Charismatic and charming," Rich muttered to the television. "Really ladies, I'm flattered."

This whole ordeal hadn't been without its merits. Rich and his uncle were still trailing badly in the polls, but he had stopped thinking of winning as the goal to this endeavor.

Relena Darlian. The former Queen of the World, peace-maker, and teenaged diplomat. She had grace, beauty, wisdom, spirit, and yet she lacked the simple and basic necessity of delegation. The woman simply did everything herself. She was going to burn out by the time she was twenty-one at this rate.

Did the woman have no concept of her own humanity? To be a great leader takes a single moment of courage under an impossible situation. She'd done that—according to her fans—many times over. But to be a successful politician she was going to have to learn to hire the capable and save herself for those moments of crisis.

Nothing Rich had managed to do so far could be considered a crisis. He didn't suppose he was going to get the chance to become one either.

But the lady needed an opponent. It was always good to make your leaders question themselves now and then, regardless of the outcome. Perhaps he'd settle for being a simple nuisance just this once.

* * *

"So you intend to make a public address?" Minister Wellington shook his head in abandon. "What exactly do you hope to gain from that?"

"I hope to gain people," Relena returned. "If we want this trade route operation on its feet, we need people to staff it.

"And the usual want ad wouldn't be appropriate?" he mused.

She collected her pile of documentations from her desk and turned to leave it again. "Not for the resumes I'm looking for," she gave him a warm smile as she passed him. "Thank you for holding down things here. Once we get the first transport outbound I promise to spend more time at the office."

With a weary shake of his head, he waved her on. "That's my curse as Minister. I must let you do the legwork, my dear. I trust your judgment."

"Thank you, Sir," she stated honestly and slipped out again.

Mr. Wellington stood in her office for a few minutes longer before he sighed to himself and then chuckled. "Her father's daughter, she is."

* * *

"'_The Battle for Mars,' is how Vice Minister Relena Darlian opened the gates for recruitment into the government funded Earth-Mars supply shipping line today in a public address to the press."_

From the corner seat at a bar buried in one of the capital sections of L5 182568, former Alliance lieutenant Cassa Nustrouse tipped back her last shot and let the liquor burn the roof of her mouth for a moment as she eyed the television over the bartender's head.

"_The address comes only three days after the marginal, and controversial, acceptance of the Foreign Ministry's proposal to build the shipping service. In an unprecedented event, Vice Minister Darlian appealed to the former 'war-heroes' of the Sphere to step forward for these positions."_

Finally swallowing her drink, Cassa sat back, watching the tape turn to Queen Relena's speech.

"You've gotta be kidding me," someone at the table to the side of her piped up. "What the hell?"

The collection of college brats had been annoying her solitary drinking all night, she didn't suppose they would allow her to watch a simple news broadcast in quiet either. Slamming her glass down on the bar she sent it sliding down the edge until it hit the bartender in the arm. "Turn it up," she calmly demanded of the man when she had his attention.

The guy humored her. He always did.

"What kind of propaganda is she after?" another asked, their conversation rising with the volume of the television.

"She's not finished playing the war victim yet."

"_The creation of a bridge between the Earth Sphere and Mars is a natural foundation. We have found time and again that private sector services are not equipped for the challenge of keeping constant ties between the planets. The supply line must become a network capable of facilitating the people of the Mars Colony. The government has approved the creation of a publicly funded shipping line to give us the opportunity to ensure the people of Mars are not cut off from the goods, services, and people of Earth."_

Cassa internally nodded to herself. Keep them close, keep them happy. Don't let them rebel.

"_In the coming months, the formation of this shipping service will take shape. Ships and equipment will be rented until the specifically designed cargo vessels can be produced. What is required now are the people who will answer the call to become this bridge. My purpose today is to announce the open recruitment for these positions. The people we are desperately in need of are pilots, mechanics, machinists, and laborers willing to work through the long hauls in open space. We require people willing to handle the difficult task of forging this new foundation. It will require a great deal of attention to detail, irrevocably set schedules, community living, and above all the absolute focus of all involved. In short, what is needed most are those elite who can handle the rigors of becoming a supply army."_

"Like any idiot is going to go run off and apply for _that_," the table of students erupted with laughter.

The bartender rolled his eyes and turned to ask his most steadfast patron if she wanted another round. He was the only one to notice that Cassa Nustrouse was already gone.

* * *

"You're asking for trouble putting all of these people together," Ry mumbled as Heero covertly called up the lists of people applying for the shippers positions.

"They'll build their own code," he dismissed it.

"I keep getting reminded that we can't expect to handle issues on the individual level," Relena added, but didn't seem to be all that confident with the statement, her hand still balled into loose fist over her heart.

"But they're coming," Delano observed.

With a nod, Relena finally sighed. "And more of them than anyone else was expecting."

She met Heero's eyes for a moment before giving him a grateful smile.

* * *

"It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test." Elbert Hubbard.

"The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident." - Sir Hugh Walpoe

AN: To my beloved readers, who I have abandoned for so long, I apologize a thousand times. My best intentions seem to be falling very short. But I will not give up on you, I promise. -Isis


	32. Chapter 32

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 32

Lady Dorothy Catalonia, the official Supply Chain Maintenance Executive of the Mars Terraforming project, was also the unofficial "unpleasant business" removal tool. Hearing her, not so politely, relieve someone of their efforts with the organization was almost as common as the sound of her pointy heels clicking down the deck plating of the Mars Satellite.

A sound that struck fear into the hearts of any contract-bearing outsourced labor manager within range. It always left HR Director Huberts with a smirk.

That all changed the day those heels walked themselves into _his_ office.

* * *

"Congratulations Captain," the blond girl stated, nodded to her curtly, and left as abruptly as she had entered the common area of the facility. 

Cassa Nustrouse turned an interested look down the row of five individuals who all looked back and forth between themselves. In a matter of three minutes that girl had breezed in, called the six of them to her and handed an envelope to each, calling them by their—apparently newly appointed—rank.

The first Mars supply ship now officially had its officers, and as the rest of the assortment of Satellite workers and recruitment hopefuls clapped for their commissions, Cassa allowed herself a smirk.

Home sweet home.

* * *

"So what do we have?" Relena asked, leaning back into the desk chair and flipping her shoes off her feet, allowing them to fly wherever they wanted. 

Heero watched them both land wide to either side of him at the front of the guest room. She would have laughed at the noncommittal expression if Dorothy's image hadn't still been up on the vidscreen. "More than I was hoping for," her friend ventured, distractedly searching through papers. "Once I cleared up a misunderstanding in the Human Resource department things just tripped over themselves to get into line."

"You have no idea how much I want to hear that," she happily turned back to the screen and propped up her chin with both hands.

"No more than I want to say it. Hiring people isn't my cup of tea. Now that they have a model of what we're looking for, the other ships should fall into line without a problem. The first wave was impressive," Dorothy finally gave the call her full attention, "but we still need a good deal more. Pull out another one of those bleeding-heart speeches and I can get out of this place."

"I thought you liked the Satellite."

"I've never cared for 1/6 gravity. I have to watch my skirts," she grumbled, going back to her papers.

Relena laughed at her and shook her head at the woman. "I'll see what I can do," she promised.

"Wonderful. Bye Heero!" she called.

Relena turned to watch him give the screen a look, probably wondering why Dorothy had assumed he was there since he was well outside the range of the camera. "He says 'bye,'" she told her anyway.

Dorothy chuckled and glanced at her again. "No he didn't," she called her bluff.

She just shrugged and left it at that, "Thank you, Dorothy. Good night."

"Ciao," the other signed off.

"Now the hard part of finding out if this actually works begins," she sighed to herself and turned away from the darkened screen.

With the call ended, Heero stepped away from the wall and took a seat on the bed facing the desk, opening his ever-present laptop.

Hinting for reassurance, Relena continued, standing and untying the scarf around her neck as she slowly paced. "We can't begin to think that we can throw all of these people together without some form of conflict."

"They will work out their own system."

"You keep saying that," she mumbled.

"They have their common purpose and focus. Individual skirmishes are none of our concern."

Relena stopped and looked down at him expectantly.

Heero raised his eyes to her for a second and then went back to his work for their schedule tomorrow. "Shouldn't be your concern," he corrected himself.

"I'm the one putting them all on the same boats," she reminded him.

"You are not responsible for random stupidity. Troublesome qualities will be weeded out quickly while replacements are still easily available."

She blinked at him and stood a bit shocked at his blunt theorizing. Somehow she knew why she was the politician and he wasn't.

Allowing a chuckle she leaned down over the laptop she waited for him to look up at her. "Thank you," she whispered to him.

His expression softened and he granted her a small smirk. She smiled at the sight of it before giving him a kiss. He never took any credit for what he'd provided her with, and she was sure he never would.

Coming around she crawled onto the bed behind him and hugged him around the shoulders, leaning her face next to his to see the screen. She squeezed him a moment, and happily snuggled into the position.

They had changed in the past few weeks. As far as highs and lows went, this was the best their relationship had ever been at, and she was sure that the weekend at her mother's had provided that.

Somehow now it wasn't a matter of their relationship or their work. They were finally becoming partners in all matters to each other. She'd never even realized that there were things still in the way between them.

Love wasn't a matter of getting somewhere or something. It was a slow but constant evolution. She may as well get used to that.

* * *

"Know wha' you gonna say?" he mumbled around the pen cap in his mouth. 

"No."

"'Ink maybe you should?"

"Maybe."

Removing the cap, Melton Pearl glanced over at his nephew who was laid out on the couch with a book. "Boy, who peed in your orange juice this morning?"

"You shouldn't have orange juice, Uncle. It's bad for your blood sugar."

"Damned orange surplus, someone's gotta drink it," he grumbled, throwing a look at his stock report to check on that.

"Did you know there is only one colony that supplies oranges in space?"

"Why do you know these things?"

"Why not?"

"Who cares?"

"Maybe I do."

"Maybe you should be writing the points for your debate."

"Maybe I'll just stand there and smile and compliment how nice of a job Miss Relena will do since we have just a _staggering_ twenty-two percent of the vote."

"The fat man ain't sung yet," Melton shrugged, scrolling through the report updates.

"_Lady_, Uncle. The fat _lady_ hasn't sung yet."

"Don't you call a woman fat. Just because you have a thing for stick-women doesn't mean you got the right."

Rich sighed and closed his book, "Yes, Sir."

"And it doesn't mean we can't still make a good showing."

"Yes, yes. I know. I have every intention of hounding the Vice Minister to clarify her positions and hopefully get her to acknowledge a few of the government's more glaring faults. If nothing else, I can hopefully call enough attention to certain areas that it will improve the awareness—"

Melton faked a loud snore. "Network broadcast, boy. You're gonna put half the Sphere to sleep."

"Half of the Sphere will be asleep."

"Especially if they weren't before."

"What do you want me to do? Juggle?"

"You can't juggle."

"That was the point!"

"Don't raise your voice at me!"

* * *

"You what?" Relena shrieked at the vid-screen. 

At least Hilde had the decency to look abashed. "It was kind of spontaneous."

"It's been less than a month," she protested as though it were possible to change the facts.

"Five weeks," her friend corrected with a giggle. "You know Duo. Once he's set on something he goes for it. I couldn't talk him out of it."

Relena wilted in her desk chair. "So you eloped."

"It was such a cute a place," her friend went on, half apologizing and half just gushing.

"Just once I'd like to get an invitation to someone's wedding," she muttered.

"Oh, but I have pictures!" Hilde happily continued. The woman pulled out sheets and started holding them up to the camera so that Relena could almost see them while she described the event.

All the while a wide gold band gleamed from her ring-finger just to mock her. Relena would never admit that she was bitter that her friend had gotten married before her—and without her—in a thousand years. She would never say that she was jealous of the two.

But she was thinking it loudly.

With that realization Relena settled in to watch the pictures flash by and made little "aw" noises at the descriptions. The giddy new bride on the other end of the line made it impossible not to be excited for them.

And she was. It was somehow completely unreal, but somehow still… to be expected. Sometimes it shocked her to be faced with just how much had changed in the past few years.

Relena laughed at her friend on the other end of the line. "You're going to send me those pictures so I can actually see them, right?"

"Sure!" Hilde nodded happily. "And as soon as we watch our video I'll send you that too."

"You'd better," Relena mockingly warned.

"Promise. Hey, tell Heero too, will you? I don't know when Duo's going to get around to it. We've been backlogged at the shop since we got back."

"Of course I will," Relena nodded. "You two take care. And congratulations." She meant it wholeheartedly.

Hilde laughed at herself again and then gave her a little salute. "You too. Talk to ya soon."

"Very soon," she assured. "Bye."

The line disconnected and she switched off the monitor. The heavy presence behind her stepped forward until Heero leaned against her desk beside her.

"Can you believe it?" she asked, chuckling. "Eloped. Oh, I'm happy for them."

"Hn." Relena looked up at him, only to find him thoughtfully studying the dark monitor. "He wasn't serious about a speech."

She blinked at him, confused.

* * *

"You have made a public address, calling on 'war-heroes' for a 'battle for Mars.' What possessed you to think that this was going to rally people to the cause of creating a freight line between planets?" the host looked at her patiently. 

"Simple logistics," Relena easily answered. "This shipping line is not only about supplies, it is about the physical presence of the people of the Earth Sphere being there right beside of the people of Mars. These are difficult, labor intensive, communal job descriptions. The margin for error at the beginning is very low and we need experienced individuals."

"Experienced in what?" the man softly shook his head.

With a little smile she folded her hands in her lap. "Experience accomplishing the impossible."

"So you, honestly are, stating that the timeline you and members of this commission have come up with, is impossible," he tried to clarify.

"Not at all. I am simply much more willing to believe that a group of dedicated people can accomplish a great deal more than the government gives them credit for. Being told that 'it can't be done' is an incentive to some people, and that is the type of drive and motivation that I am eager to place into this endeavor."

"And you feel that soldiers are best suited for this?"

"Yes," she stated.

The man sat for a second, expecting more and not getting it. "Why?" he fished.

"I had a former soldier tell me once that a war was the ability of a person to fight. It doesn't matter what the goal is for, it is the fight that makes a solider. Trust is a hard commodity to come by while you're fighting. The people on Mars are resolute and determined, but they need help and they need to know that they can trust those of us here to do everything we can. I want them to know we are all on the same side, and I want them to be reassured that there is a single group of equally as dedicated people fighting for them," she finished.

"I'm not sure that answered my question," he returned. "Isn't anyone capable of such determination?"

"Of course," she readily agreed. "I never stated that previous military training was required. I am simply asking for those who are willing and able to devote themselves to a job like this. It's days or weeks away from home, and will require sacrifices." Collecting her thoughts again, she tried to reign in any emotional assessment and keep focused. "I am well aware that many of the former soldiers who fought in the battlefield are still displaced and searching for somewhere they can start over, utilizing the skills they have for something productive again. Many have nothing to leave behind when they join up for this program. That is why I called on them specifically. I believe they are the best suited."

* * *

"That girl's good. Real good," Frederic Toloma happily smirked as he laid out on his cot listening the television broadcast. "Hum, pretty words and big ideas. They'll follow you anywhere." With a soft chuckle he closed his eyes before raising his voice to his oblivious bunk-mate, "You hear that, Mac? I'm a quotable man!" 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure you'll make her memoirs."

* * *

His solitary office was welcoming. Heero closed his door behind him as he carried his laptop and his notes folder with him in one hand and a small coffee cup of water in the other. 

The constant campaigning was wearing on them all heavily as the weeks ticked down towards the final month. They had been on Colony for the past three weeks, and touring the Northern Earth continents the two weeks prior to that.

He'd seen his office exactly enough to sort through the priority confirmations of his field reports and that was all. With the prospect of eight days at the Capital without so much as an interview, he was left dealing with the mound of paperwork and secondary case files that he was "requested" to review for other officers.

Relena took it in stride, stating that paperwork almost seemed like a vacation these days. He didn't think she actually meant that though.

Wednesday morning, seven a.m. He walked over to the little plant in the corner of his windows and poured the cup full of water into the pot. Finished, he paused to look down at the thing.

As usual, Sally had volunteered herself to take over the job of watering it while he was away. He suspected that she had more of an attachment to the vegetation than he did.

But looking at it, it still seemed… limp. Compared to when he had first received the plant, it had grown several inches and replaced the majority of its leaves, creating two vines that began to dangle down the plant stand that Sally had given it.

The runs had been repositioned a few times, being wound around the container. He wasn't sure if this was how it was suppose to grow or not, but the leaves always turned towards the light from the windows regardless of how they were laid.

One yellowing leaf held his attention towards the base of the pot. It had been months since Quatre had visited his office and commented that thing needed to be put into a larger container. He still acknowledged that need, but hadn't bothered to deal with the problem.

But the yellow leaf bothered him. Sally was usually the one that picked off any leaves like that, but she hadn't yet this time. The rest of the plant was starting to look a little more yellow colored than when he had first received it too.

Turning away, he walked over and placed his computer and folders on his desk, ignoring whatever was on it for now. He paused and turned to look back at the plant sitting in the corner. For a second he debated and then glanced past it towards the Government building. Walking to the window he watched the building for a second, the security and street lights illuminating its sides.

Relena wouldn't like it if the plant died.

Walking back, he looked at the leaf again and then carefully reached down and tried to pull it off.

It didn't come off.

He tried a little harder this time but the whole vine of the plant moved with it and it still didn't come loose. Stopping, he blinked at the thing and then tried to bend it over and snap it off.

Instead of snapping, it only creased and folded over.

Pulling back he watched as the leaf lifelessly hung there from the fold in its stem. How did Sally do this so easily?

Tugging on it again it still didn't pop loose even with the perforation, and he was in danger of disrupting the rest of the plant. He took to twisting the leaf, only to get it to turn around twice without tearing away from the rest of the vine.

Giving up he let it drop, the leaf now dangling past the edge of the pot.

Walking back to his desk again, he opened the top drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. Going back he neatly snipped the stem next to the rest of the vine, catching the leaf in the coffee cup he still carried.

With an odd sense of satisfaction, Heero returned to his desk and sat down, throwing away the leaf and cup and replacing the scissors.

* * *

The dinette table wasn't accustomed to holding this many items at one time. Having discovered that the greenhouse a few blocks away from his apartment building did not practice repotting already purchased plants, Heero had been forced to let the saleswoman assist him in picking out a new container. 

The woman obviously knew more about this process than he did. Once he had calculated the size of container that the plant had already outgrown, and accounted for the amount of room remaining on Sally's plant stand, he had decided on one of appropriate size. And one that Relena probably would not consider "boring." He doubted that the type of pot would matter to the plant. Classifying something as boring was pointless, but he had settled for a green one instead of the plain terracotta he had originally found.

The woman had also gotten him a "dish" to place under it to prevent water leakage, and a bag of composite soil. He had found it odd that people on Earth also felt the need to use processed and packaged dirt. After all, they were standing on it.

Perhaps his plant required special function dirt? Heero wasn't sure he cared.

The woman had also given him a pamphlet called a "Planting Guild" which was laid out neatly in front of the gathered supplies. Skimming through the instructions, he decided he had already conceived the correct course of action. Adding some of the soil to the new pot, he arranged it neatly, and then attempted to carefully remove the plant from its former residence by its main stems.

It didn't cooperate.

Scanning the pamphlet again, he noted the illustration showing the plant tipped upside down, and picked up the pot and shook it a couple times to dislodge the useless vegetation. It came loose and he caught it before it hit the table, its roots holding the mud ball of its soil. Perhaps he should not have done this on the same day as its required watering.

Regardless of the mess, Heero turned the plant right side up and positioned it in the center of the new container, satisfied that this would be of adequate size for some time. Meticulously adding dirt around and into the empty areas of the larger pot, he rounded the soil like the pamphlet showed and then nodded in satisfaction.

According to the last of the instructions on the sheet, he took it to the kitchen and placed it in the sink, watering it thoroughly. He was going to have to up its allotted water ration as well. Once he was finished, he picked it up to return to the living room when he noticed why the saleswoman had instructed him to get the dish for it.

Why were planting containers constructed with a hole in the bottom if the purpose was to keep water inside for a growing plant?

Did Relena know how much trouble this thing was?

Pausing, he placed the thing back in the sink to drain and washed his hands instead. Relena didn't dedicate herself to making others comfortable. She was always an influence to those around her, an unspoken challenge. It was hard to think of disappointed her.

Drying his hands, Heero leaned back against his kitchen cabinet and watched the little plant, inspecting it carefully. What this thing was supposed to teach him or why it was "nice" to have around, he didn't know. All he knew was that he had some unreasonable desire to keep it alive.

It looked alright in the new container. It was better off this way. It could grow there.

With a small smirk Heero nodded to it once and went back to clean up the table. Perhaps he had more in common with the plant that he'd thought.

* * *

She was not amused. She wasn't even remotely agreeable. And she was far beyond faking a politician's smile. 

"Now, the basic thing is to not be afraid of it," Ry helpfully began coaching before they were even fully in the door.

The group had actually scheduled themselves a time slot in the middle of Relena's day. A day that had gotten progressively worse as time slipped by. She didn't have enough days in her own office anymore and needed them when she got them.

"Interruptions" was no longer the correct term. In order to be interrupted, she would have had to have been able to first engage herself in something. Instead, there had simply been a solid stream of people, problems and calls relentlessly bombarding her.

"Right now you don't have to worry about accuracy or anything," Ry continued on, his rambling almost lost in the angry voices in her head.

She had very little time in her office, and the stupid idea of improving her security training was not something she had intended to deal with this week. It was pathetic enough that Sally had given her a crash course in self-defense the night she was back on world.

She didn't care who her boyfriend was, she was not in the mood for combat training.

When the others waltzed into her office to escort her to the Preventers training center, she threw every question, plea, and threat at them to make them go away. No such luck, of course. And when they informed her that she was scheduled to begin target practice this afternoon, she had honestly burst out laughing before she realized they were serious.

Heero obviously hadn't passed this idea by Commander Une's desk.

And so she had practically stalked over to the artillery range, trailing her guardians behind her, and marched straight up to her beloved with an annoyed glared.

He didn't seem to care though, and simply returned her look, wordlessly handing her a pair of safety glasses and earmuffs.

"It's not hard, just takes some practice," Ry went on cheerfully. Obviously the man was over enthused about getting to teach her something again. "We'll walk you through the first couple clips," he shrugged.

"Don't make her nervous," Alli elbowed him.

"I'm just explaining first."

"I'm pretty sure she already knows the theory behind it."

If she were in a better mood, she would probably have had some fun with this. As it stood, she wasn't sure she should really be handling a loaded weapon around this group at all. But if her dear protectors really felt they could play games with her time, then she would do her best to pass this little test.

Stepping around Heero to the stall he was leaning against, she easily slipped on the gear, while Ry carried a practice weapon over to her. "This is called the barrel…" he started before noticing she already had her hearing protection on.

Not waiting one more minute, she leaned over to her—dearly beloved—boyfriend and snuck a hand behind his back, quickly snatching his sidearm from the holster. Surprised, he rounded on her but obviously didn't understand what she was planning to do.

Little did he know.

Relena flipped the safety off in mid-motion, swinging the barrel up to a firing position, taking aim at the paper target hung so close to the stall that it was laughable. Blasting off five shots at the heart of the thing, she quit, flipped the clip out of the gun and practically dropped both pieces to the counter. Ripping off the glasses and earmuffs she tossed them down on top of it and turned on her heal for the exit.

"Mission accomplished," she calmly stated, smoothing her hair back in place.

She was well into the hallway outside before she realized that none of them had followed her out.

* * *

The team still stood staring at the neat pattern of holes in the paper target and the dismantled gun and equipment on the counter. Alli was the first to break the silence when she burst out laughing. 

Ry finally took a step closer, and leaned over until he bumped into Heero's shoulder, "Man… she stole your gun," he snickered.

Heero didn't even acknowledge the man or the rest of the team. Snapping into action, grabbed the disassembled weapon and slapped the two pieces back together, tucking it security back under his jacket as he strode purposefully out the door.

"Oooooo," Ry mumbled as the door closed with a resounding slam. "He's pissed."

"How did she learn that?" Delano questioned, before starting for the door as well.

"Oh, no," Alli grabbed a hold of his shirt and pulled him back. "He didn't tell us to follow her."

"I don't know, we may need to go protect her from her every-loving, but uninformed, boyfriend," Ry continued.

"If Ageny Yuy didn't know she could do that… who would?" Delano still questioned, a bit dumbfounded.

"Eh, part of the perks of the job," Ry folded his hands behind his head. "You never know about those two."

Curiously, Alli stepped over and took the practice weapon that Ry had set down and aimed at the same target, squeezing off five rounds. Examining the paper target again she raised an eyebrow, "She's a good shot."

"She's better than you," Ry teased.

"She is not!"

"I don't know, petite. Looks that way to me."

"Those are hers!"

"Un-uh, that one's yours."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Is not! Del, tell him that's not mine."

"It's a hole in a piece of paper, how am I supposed to know?"

"Big help."

"Face it, you shoot like a girl."

"I can shoot you like a girl!"

"Oooo, feisty."

"Could you two do that when I'm not in the room?"

"Ahem. Sorry Lieutenant."

* * *

Where the hell did Relena Darlian learn how to shoot? 

He had expected her to argue that it was against her belief system to learn how to fire a weapon. Even if she didn't adhere to absolute pacifism in the strictest sense as she once had, he had still expected her to refuse.

He'd been prepared for that. His actual goal was to simply show her the basics. Even if she never held a gun in her life, it would be beneficially for her to understand how they functioned enough to recognize certain things if someone was threatening her with one. And if worst came to worst, she may even need to threaten someone with one efficiently enough in a dire situation.

Where the hell did Relena learn to shoot?

The question echoed as he marched down the deserted hallway towards the underground tunnel between the Preventers building and the Capital, spotting her walking causally up ahead.

That wasn't any first try, blind luck. That was practiced, knowledgeable, and accurately aimed.

Too accurate.

Too accurate for a peace-minded politician who had never believed in killing someone in her life.

He stalked after her, quickly closing in on her pace, his fists clenched. Who'd dare teach her that?

"Relena."

"I think I passed that course," she brushed it off. "If you just learned to ask, I could have saved us both the trouble—"

He caught her arm, forcing her to stop and face him. "Where did you learn that?" he demanded.

The shocked surprise plainly evident on her face didn't deter him, and he made no move to release her arm or explain his question further. "Heero?" she mumbled, her expression bordering on confusion now.

"Where?" he repeated, barely grinding it out.

Blinking, she swallowed and seemed to pull herself out of her surprise. "It was a long time ago," she began. "After father was killed, I had the idea that I needed to learn," she quietly explained.

He didn't release her. Didn't even acknowledge the statement.

But he heard it.

After her father was murdered. At the beginning of the war. …After he had threatened her life.

"And after having a member of your family assassinated, it isn't that difficult to find someone to let you practice," she finished, leaving out the vital piece of information he specifically asked for.

"Who?"

"It was a long time ago," she repeated, raising her face to look at him again.

She wasn't going to tell him. He didn't have to know that look as well as he did to understand that. For an instant he considered ways of getting her to tell him before realizing that it didn't matter.

"What difference does it make?" she continued. "You were going to have me learn the same thing. I already know it," she softly shook her head, her stubborn willfulness bleeding out to confusion again.

He straightened and let go of her, moving past her towards the tunnel to escort her back to her office. "Never," he quietly stated.

He had promised himself months ago when the idea of creating her self-defense training first struck him that he would never train her in the use of deadly force. It wasn't a matter of her being incapable. It was a matter of her being unsuited.

Even if the situation was lost, he knew that if she were to ever do something that resulted in another's death, she would regret it. Hate herself for it. Living with that could destroy the person he knew in her.

She shouldn't have to.

What good was he if he couldn't protect her from that?

"Heero?" she trailed behind him, determination still evident in her voice. "What's wrong?"

It didn't pay to get emotional. That display was inapt. He shouldn't have questioned her.

She was correct. She was trained. There was no reason to guess at the consequences of a hypothetical situation now.

"Heero!"

He stopped and turned over his shoulder to look back at her. Relena stood her ground, meeting his expression. And she waited, visually demanding an explanation that he didn't know how to give.

Heero studied her for a second, and softened, letting himself regroup again. Some things never changed.

He didn't move any closer, but he did turn to face her. "Never take a life that won't take yours."

"Huh?" she breathed, her eyes widening at the idea.

Gazing at her, he didn't relent. Didn't give in to the desire to close the gap between them and take her into his arms. Didn't even change his tone of voice. "Never."

There were things that he knew she was willing to die for. Her life up to this point had prepared her for that. She believed in things greater than herself, and in that she held a strength that Heero couldn't compare to.

He had things that he was still willing to kill for. He'd had to make that list through life and now come to terms with it. Dying for the same things was simply an unfortunate drawback if he failed.

Relena had no such list, and he swore to protect that innocence with everything he was. Perhaps it was the reason he was the one with her. She needed someone like him. She needed a protector who would keep her from the path he'd known.

She needed him. Needed what he was, and including the person he had been.

She balled a hand and slowly placed it over her heart before she softly nodded, perhaps understanding his actions now. "I promise," she whispered.

He knew she meant it. Turning, he moved to continue on, then thought of better of it. Looking over his shoulder, he extended a hand back and waited for her take it.

She clamped onto him, her other hand wrapping around his arm and her head softly leaned against his shoulder.

Stepping up to the tunnel entrance, he shifted but then stopped himself and glanced down at her from the corner of his eye. The tunnel was continually monitored in real time as a security precaution. Anything that happened there would be seen by any number of monitoring personnel.

A fact that, up until now, he had always tried to avoid.

Instead, he didn't even pause as they passed through, silently moving his hand in hers to entwine their fingers together.

* * *

"Captain on deck!" 

In a pair of battered fatigues and a tight t-shirt that left no curve in doubt, Captain Nustrouse leaned one hand heavily onto the railing of the upper level that surrounding the loading bay of the rented cargo ship. Assembled below was the collection of thirty people who she would have the pleasure in the next seven days of bonding into a happy, productive crew.

"Prep work is finished, the remaining supplies will be loaded tonight," she called down at the misfit assembly. "We leave at 0700."

Various agreements or cheers went up around the area as the crew got the word that they were finally headed for Mars.

"This is IRIS' maiden voyage. We are the only commissioned ship in the fleet as of yet. This run will be done with expect care and without incident," she gravely insinuated. "All else will be considered a failure."

Her second in command stood behind her and muttered under his breath, "Didn't realize they were getting the stage production this afternoon, Cassa."

"Half of the Sphere is expecting this project to fail so miserably that we will run back with our tails between our legs. Personally, I enjoy disappointing people," she smirked.

A number of hoots and calls agreed with her, not the least of which came from her navigation's officer on her right.

"Once we are out of port, we live only by our charter. Whatever your lives have been up till now does not come with you tomorrow morning. This ship is now your home, this crew is your family. If you need to be reminded otherwise, I will make it happen."

Oh yes, space had a way of separating people from they're memories. The first trip would be an interesting one.

Standing back to full height, she moved one hand to set on her hip and let the evil little smile come. She almost chuckled at the display of unconcerned shrugs and snorts that assaulted her. They would learn. Or they would be replaced.

Yes, the first run would be an interesting one.

"Dismissed!"

Cassa had never lived to be ordinary or average. What she would demand was absolute victory. The Interplanetary Resource and Information Service—IRIS—was struggling to find a foothold in the media war. While politicians and reporters chose sides and divided off their territories, the only truly worthy position was to be one of those chosen to make the difference.

This little group of thirty-six people had already done the unthinkable and outfitted this rented hunk of space trash to hold the necessary supply load. The time schedule that half of the government said couldn't possibly be done had already been neatly shaved down by a week.

Never underestimate a group of determined people with nothing better to do.

Cassa didn't care if they had to duct tape crates to the hull, she would be damned if they didn't exceed the ambiguous expectations. And seven days and two hours later, they would be back here in dock, letting the equally as impressive load out crew re-supply, fix, and refit the ship during their two day down time before they were once again in open space. Until the entire fleet was amassed and all dependence on the contracted freighter lines halted, they would be run to exhaustion without mercy or pause for complaint.

This was how you trained an army.

At 0700, Queen Relena and the rest of the Sphere would get the news that IRIS transport 01 was underway on its mission.

Sometimes life had an interesting way of starting over.

* * *

"What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want." - Mignon McLaughlin, _The Neurotic's Notebook_

"If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing." - Saint Augustine

AN: Um, remember me? Well, if it helps to appease you faithful, but neglected, readers, the next chapter will be along sooner this time, I promise. Not that that's saying much, I know. (cringe) Uh, remember I love all of you. Oh, and good luck to all who are headed back to school. And if anyone is playing along at home with my new (patent pending) board game "Heero vs. House Plant" the score is now Plant: 3, Heero: 1.


	33. Chapter 33

AN: Happy 3rd Anniversary to this hopelessly long trilogy! Thank you all for staying with this story.

"Realizations"  
By Isis cw  
Chapter 33

"Cut the intake! Switch all burn to the secondary engines!" she barked.

"Another fire in engine room 2!"

"Personnel?"

"Clear."

"Vent the damned thing."

"What?" the ensign shrieked from his spot at the helm.

"I said vent it," Cassa snarled, shifting her weight to glare down at the seated man.

"Ma'am!" he snapped and clicked furiously at the controls.

Leaned over the forward displays, she seethed as the voices and alarms blared in her ears.

Three hours out. Three damned hours and they were now forced down to a crawl as their main engines burst their welds. One problem after another. There was barely a chance to breathe peacefully on this whole forsaken trip.

Three hours.

The ship jolted as the emergency bulkheads opened the offending compartment to the vacuum of space.

The alarms died down, and the voices lowered to normal octaves again.

"Significant fuel loss," came the first report.

"All crew accounted for. Minor injuries," came the second.

"Secondary engines firing. Course correction begun."

"How long?" she calmly questioned, staring ahead at the very top view screen showing the blue of the waiting planet.

"At present speed, 5.3 hours."

Cassa slammed her fist down on the console. Overdue. She would not have it! They were supposed to be early. They were to make the Sphere breathe a sigh of relief and admiration. They were to be victorious above all expectation!

"Seal the compartment, reestablish atmosphere," she called, standing back to straight height. "Get the repair team back in there."

"The crews in port will have to repair it. There's no hope for accomplishing anything in a few hours while still in open space," her second in command calmly stated.

He was correct. But Cassa Nustrous refused to tuck her tail and limp home. "The base crew already has a list. The last thing we need is a bag of washouts that will never fly in this ship crawling through her engines. Get started."

His response was methodical and slow in coming, but eventually she noted him nod ever so slightly from the corner of her vision and then leave the bridge.

The man was a tedious pain in her ass, but any move he made was done with absolute expert attention and devotion. If he had to crawl into the manifold himself and plug every hole with a toothpick the man would do it without so much as a wasted mutter.

The rest of the crew had begun to give up even the most outrageous of cries or complaints. It was a trial they would not soon forget. The ship had tried to come apart at the seams more than once on its maiden voyage. So far it had held together due only to desperate willpower and fear-laden prayers.

Five hours. Two hours overdue. It grated at her ego. They were pushing this hard in the first place to make it back on time after the numerous problems and delays.

"Fuel supply will be sufficient to reach port?" she questioned.

"Affirmative."

"Extra?"

"Not enough to fire the main engines again, but it's a comfortable margin."

With a tiny smirk, she added one hand to her hip and tipped her chin up once again to the view of the Earth. "Coax whatever you can out of them. Alert the Satellite of our situation as soon as we're within range."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Giving everything one last look, she turned to leave the bridge and throw herself into whatever repair project she came across first. No matter what, her crew would hit the deck of their home port with a sense of pride if she had to beat it into them herself.

* * *

Malia Billings. Easily the best covert spy under the age of ten that Heero had ever encountered. Quick, small and agile, the little girl had an innate ability to squeeze through any holes in a security perimeter, no matter how small. 

The little girl seemed motivated by her study of political proceedings including her grandfather, President of ESUN, and Relena. With her familiar accomplice, Charlie, a brown toy bear, she had maneuvered past some of the most respected members of the Preventers.

It had been several months since he'd seen her.

Heero scrutinized the layout of the security details in the area. There was a 2.38 overlap in the personnel guarding the entryways to the auditorium. There should have been two guarded ports of entry that would need to be traversed before she entered the site of the political assembly. No less than five people had unwittingly allowed her inside.

He wasn't overly surprised. No amount of training truly prepared someone to suspect a small child. Experience was the only thing that could change that.

And with a smirk, he watched her slip through the darkened area and find an unused spot near the doors of the hall. Very quietly she climbed up on top of a folding table and sat on her knees with the bear in her lap in order to be tall enough to see over the rows of seats of the audience in front of her.

She was no threat but he was sure she was still causing havoc.

* * *

Mrs. Billings attempted to keep herself in check as the Preventers Major allowed her to creep inside the auditorium that was being used for the Presidential conference. It didn't matter where or when Malia ran off, it always stabbed her through the heart to find her daughter missing. Angry at the amount of worry and trouble the child was causing, she tried to be polite to the men around her who were now grudgingly helping her look for the missing child. 

It always took some persuasion to get them to realize that the girl could actually sneak into a guarded room.

Most mothers complained how quickly their children grew up, she was just praying for the day someone mistook her adventurous little girl for a twelve-year-old and allowed her into the sessions she so desperately wanted to sit in on. At least that way they she could be right there beside her daughter constantly.

The man escorted her through the door and she let her eyes adjust to the dim lighting at the back of the hall. Turning, she almost gasped out loud to find Malia sitting on a table and mildly waving to her.

The rush of relief was nearly enough to send her running to the girl's side, but once again she kept herself gracefully in check and reminded herself not to sound angry with her. That was just the worry coming through.

The child was indeed fine and just quietly watching the proceedings as she slipped through the back of the hall to her.

It took a second for Mrs. Billings to notice Agent Yuy leaning against the wall next to her daughter. Blinking uncomprehendingly, she then whispered an apology, realizing the man had once again been the one to find the runaway. "I'm terribly sorry. I was only called away for a moment…."

Her excuse fell on deaf ears as the young man shook his head slightly and looked back down to Malia who sat on the table at his side. She nodded back without a word and reached out her arms. Agent Yuy silently picked her up and gently set her down on the floor. Malia covered her mouth as she giggled and gave him a curtsey in gratitude. The agent returned a shallow bow and then, almost timidly, reached down to rub Charlie's head as she held him in her arms.

Mrs. Billings stood stunned for a moment until her daughter turned from him and took her hand, obviously intent on leading her mother back out of the room instead of the other way around. Being jostled out of it, Mrs. Billings only managed to mouth, "Thank you," over her shoulder.

"Ma'am," he returned, and then turned to the Major and nodded him towards the doors in dismissal.

Looking down at the top of her daughter's head as the girl led them out the door and down the hallway, she allowed a displaced smile to creep onto her face. Once outside, Malia began humming. It was same little tune that seemed to be uniquely her own, and which only came out when the girl was happiest.

Taking a deep breath, Mrs. Billings prepared the same speech she always gave her daughter for running off, but glanced backwards at the doors.

What a kind-hearted young man….

* * *

Relena's forehead hit the cool glass of the window with a dull "thunk." Vaguely she heard Heero's typing stop short and she felt more than saw him turn to regard her. Opening her eyes again, she caught the ghostly reflection of him in the glass and sighed, the fog neatly erasing his image. 

"The press is going to exploit this. I have to come up with a decent answer."

For a moment there was no response. "They managed the setbacks."

Relena nodded against the glass but she need more than that. "No one else is going to see it that way. They're just going to report that the first shuttle trip was riddled with difficulties and arrived back to port late."

Heero didn't answer and she stood staring out the window half-heartedly, her pendant being twirled in her hand. The message that IRIS transport 01 was expected to arrive late due to a list of serious technical problems had been waiting for her as soon as she left the Presidential conference.

She chastised herself again for not excusing herself from this—ultimately pointless and less than worthwhile—political back-patting so that she could have already been on the Satellite when the news came in. In the past seven days since the ship left orbit it hadn't been far from her mind. This was her plan in motion.

She heard Heero resume his work, apparently giving up on her. He was getting better at ignoring her when she was just in the mood to have someone listen to her wallow in self-pity.

The worst part was that his silent commentary always made it abundantly clear that that was exactly what she was doing.

"How do I salvage this?" she whispered.

"It was a better run than the majority of the chartered carriers in the past two and a half months."

She stopped, and then slowly straightened and turned back over her shoulder to look at him. Unconcerned, Heero was working away, and seemed to be barely paying attention to the conversation.

How he did that, she'd never know. That impervious calm made her jealous more often that not, but it was still irritating that he could just pop out a statement that could dissolve a whole issue in a manner that made her feel like it should have been perfectly obviously the entire time.

He was also right more than humanly possible.

"Are you sure?" she quietly asked, afraid he'd say no.

"Hn," he nodded, this eyes never leaving his work. "The private carriers had an average delay time of 5.4 hours."

How did he possibly keep track of this sort of thing?

Shaking it off, it didn't matter. The shuttle was already being prepped so that they could make a quick trip to the Satellite. She had a mass of press to answer to, and until now, no defense.

"Then by comparison, this run is practically miraculous," she turned completely around as the main point of emphasis filed itself into an outline for her coming speech.

He paused a second to glance at her for her choice of words and back again. "They dealt with the complications appropriately," he re-worded. "They made repairs on their own without wasting time waiting for backup."

An experienced crew. Self-reliant. Diligent. And only a few hours late. It was the perfect rebuttal. She wouldn't even need to defend it, just lay out the facts and act pleased with it, and no one would have the guts to ask if she thought the project had been a mistake.

"Perfect," she happily sighed to herself.

"Adequate," Heero corrected her without catching her meaning. "After the repairs, their time will improve."

"They won't have anything left to fix," she nodded, catching the meaning in that. She continued outlining her speech, and walked over to hug him around the shoulders, ignoring that she was interrupting whatever he was working on. "I love you," she mumbled, and nuzzled into his neck.

"…Hn," he mumbled, obviously confused.

Pecking him a kiss on the cheek, she happily spun towards the door and walked out. A second later she returned, realizing she'd left her luggage. Heero still sat blanking watching her until she picked up her bags and began impatiently tapping her foot.

He got the point.

* * *

Since Relena had begun her campaign of calling the former soldiers, the Mars Satellite had taken on a burden it was never designed for. The influx of people had been dealt with as quickly as possible, but it was still troublesome to crowd so many into such a relatively small artificial-atmosphere area. 

It was hot, and excessively humid.

Reasonably, his jacket was an expendable piece of his uniform, however, it was also his best piece of identification. Considering the volatile nature of the people amassing here, a small collection of police and Preventers were rotating among them to keep order.

It had become necessary more than once.

Heero didn't intend to be mistaken for a civilian or minor Preventers officer. He was beginning to learn that being in plain sight was not the same thing as being noticed.

As it were, he stepped off the shuttle and ensured that they door closed firmly behind him. He did not intend to allow Relena out until the area was secured as well as possible.

Slipping through the docking bay didn't attract much attention as the area continued its vigil for the appearance of the Vice Minister. Both the media, which were being held on the opposite side of the area, and the surrounding workers were watchful of the shuttle but held him in little regard.

IRIS 01 had landed approximately forty minutes ago. Already the repair crews were swarming over the ship. Outwardly, the ship was in tact, but the number of power cords and conduits being strung over it were disconcerting.

Counting them up, and knowing their standard functions, Heero quickly surmised that the main engine manifold had serious problems and probably sparked off at least one fire that had apparently depleted the ship's fire-retardant foam supply. With the age and type of ship, and the amount of welding and machining equipment set outside the aft access hatch, he guessed that it had unseated and shaved the inner housing into a molten cocoon before it seized up.

Relena was going to have trouble with the repair costs if the entire core had to be refitted.

Perhaps he should suggest she have someone else investigate these old freighters better before they were purchased.

Electrical systems must have had some problems as well. Every access port on the starboard side was open with tracer boxes already blinking out trouble codes. Faulty wiring, most likely. With the number of refits obvious even from the outside of the freighter, it was common for the electrical to be carelessly spliced together and the emergency redundancies severed.

Workers crawled through hatches and poured up and down the loading ramp. The uniforms of the repair technicians were few and far between, but those of the loading crew were racing back and forth, performing small duties that were probably never included in their original job descriptions.

It was impressive how quickly the crews had taken on the chores. No one stood idle, and orders were barked in every direction. They had obviously descended on the ship before the crew had even managed to get it clamped into place on the floor of the bay.

Well ordered. Clear command structure. Informed subordinates.

Heero had believed in this idealistic project almost exclusively because Relena herself was so set on it. He hadn't been convinced that it would work nearly as well as she expected it to.

Once again he had underestimated what her ideals could accomplish.

A loud expletive alerted him before the call of "watch out!" did. Sidestepping neatly, he let the hurtling tool bounce once off the deck plating beside him before he caught it easily on the rebound. Looking up he found the worker peering over the edge of the haul from a cramped position beside the plasma drive conduit. He gently tossed the wayward tool back to him, letting it pin wheel slowly towards him in the low gravity.

The worker scratched his head as the tool made its way back to him. "Thanks."

Heero let it go and continued on, giving the rest of the docking bay his attention. Aside from the IRIS freighter, one other contract carrier, and their shuttle, the bay was empty. The loading crew for the contract ship was nowhere to be seen, and it was closed and offline.

They had received his message then.

It was the best circumstances he would get here. With the press cornered in the doorway by a set of Preventers officers, Relena could speak to them with relative ease and allow those here to continue working.

It would also remove the workers from causing any problem when Relena tried to diffuse the situation with the media.

With the vigor they were attending to the ship, it should remove the largest obstacle. The crews here did not need to hear the questions or remarks of the less knowledgeable media, and the reporters didn't need to overhear any commentary on the actual condition of the ship.

With Relena playing mediator, each side would get only what they needed.

And if he didn't get back quickly, she was going to push the ramp down herself and get started. Patience was not always her most prevalent nature.

Circling the area, he turned back for another look at the ship, and found a woman pacing towards him. He'd been spotted.

It didn't take much to recognize her. The profiles for the first ship's crew had been sent to Relena through Dorothy when they had first been put together. The woman was unfamiliar otherwise, but she had obviously locked onto him.

"Agent Yuy, is it?" she opened, still pacing leisurely forward.

He nodded to her. "Captain."

"My fame precedes me," she smirked. "Are you on security detail, or damage assessment?"

She stopped far enough out of reach for him to be certain she wasn't trying anything more than to be verbally challenging.

"Both," he answered stiffly.

"She'll fly by the next scheduled liftoff," she gravely informed him, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Dedication was an asset and a curse to most of the captains he had come up against over the years. Cassa Nustrouse was apparently no different.

"Hn."

Raising an eyebrow she perched a hand on her hip and turned to look back over her shoulder at the ship. "Not much of damage estimator then, are you?"

Idly he wondered if that was intended to be a direct insult or an admission that she'd been bluffing. He never understood the point of such things. "Have they determined if the core can be salvaged?" he inquired instead.

She turned back with a mild look of surprise. "I stand corrected," she acknowledged.

He simply waited.

A look of scrutiny passed over her face as she openly analyzed him. It wasn't the first time a captain had taken offense to his working knowledge of their ship. But rather than comment, she shook it off with a resigned sigh. "Damned thing's seized up so tight we can't even get into it yet. So in other words… probably not. At least not without a total rebuild. We don't have time for that."

Heero nodded in agreement. "Other issues?"

"Nothing more than everything," she griped. "It'll fly, but getting that core replaced will not be pretty. No one was expecting us to blow a head gasket the first time out."

The reference to a space-worthy ship having a "head gasket" was obviously meant to be amusing. "It will be dealt with."

Captain Nustrouse seemed duly skeptical. "Oh sure, no one will mind that this over-budget project just had to replace the most expensive part of this scrapped together salvage station."

This woman obviously did not know who was backing this project. "It will be dealt with," he repeated and turned to continue back to the shuttle. "Advise your men not to mention any of this in front of the reports."

"Will she want to see this?" Nustrouse called after him.

Again Heero stopped, and glanced back at her.

"Or do we just get the illustrious boyfriend?" she smirked and crossed her arms.

That was how she recognized him then. Acceptable. "She'll want a report from you and the highest ranking members here," he informed her and walked off.

Relena would want to hear all of this and then some. She wanted this ship up and out of this bay as quickly as everyone here did. Perhaps more.

And she always made it difficult to disappoint her.

* * *

The media had been more than a little shocked. The initial questions as she walked up to the mass of reports had been exactly as she feared. But with little effort, Relena had thrown their questions out as completely irrelevant. Listing off the facts that Heero had so neatly laid out for her, she beamed with happiness over the crew's accomplishments, and then added to it with an apology that the sub-standard equipment gave them so many troubles. 

With starry-eyed promises to better the condition of the ship, and prepare all subsequent ships better as well, she left the press with such upbeat sound bites and she nearly laughed at herself.

Making her statements, she excused herself so quickly they barely had time to fire off new questions at her. As it was, she ignored them in favor of heading for the actual area of interest to "offer her congratulations."

It was perfect.

"Repairs will be costly, and they may not fly on schedule."

Well, her speech had been perfect.

"Define costly," she asked over her shoulder to where Heero was shadowing her.

"New main engine core."

Not understanding that in the least, she turned to Delano for a translation only to have him whistle. "Ouch."

Oh. "Alright," she continued, determined not to let that get to her right now, "define may not fly on schedule."

"A new core will require 30 hours to assimilate after installation."

They had less than 48 hours already. "Perfect," she muttered to herself in resignation. "Alternatives?" she questioned as they began stepping over loose cables and power conduits. The wires were hooked in at every corner, making this giant puffer fish of a ship look like it exploded confetti.

"Rebuild. It will take longer."

Not a viable option then.

"Personal note," Ry mumbled in front of them, "get them a gift certificate for couple's counseling in communications for Christmas."

Relena stepped over a particularly large collection of cables that were still slowly being pulled along the floor. Using the opportunity, she elbowed Ry squarely in the back. "Personal note, dock pay on smart-mouthed security officer."

"Can you do that?" Ry honestly questioned over his shoulder as he sidestepped a huge rolling cart of tools and equipment and made sure she followed without tripping over it.

Caching a heel on a random wire and falling over something would defiantly upstage her pretty words on tonight's news.

"Ry, not the time," Alli admonished him for her.

"Has anyone spotted Dorothy?" she questioned instead.

"Is she here?" Del asked, glancing around.

"I don't know, that's what I was wondering. I don't suppose she'd be missing this if she was." Relena didn't begrudge the woman's absence. But she did sort of miss the absolute head-strong, take-charge personality that could muscle their way through all the pleasantries that she had to constantly bend to. It would be helpful to have someone who could bully their way into getting the parts they needed.

Ry stopped short, and Relena paused behind him, waiting for him to step aside so she could see what he was looking at.

She didn't have to wait long. Even with Ry's height, she still easily picked up the shape of a tall, and extremely muscular figure standing in their way.

"Pardon, Vice Minister?"

With a couple pokes in his back she got Ry to nudge over so she could look at the man in question. Obviously Ry didn't care much for the looks of him, and was still shielding her. "Who do we have the pleasure of?" he returned, sounding cheerful but not giving the man a clear path to her.

"I am the Foreman here," he stated in a rough voice that matched his rugged features and frame.

"Foreman, hello," Relena intervened, nudging at Ry to move again. "It's nice to meet you."

The man looked down at her and nodded slowly, "You too, Madam."

A woman calmly stood beside him, rubbing her hands off on a red rag. "Do I get introduced too?"

Relena graced at her with a polite smile, trying to remember where she knew her face from. "Captain Nustrouse," he waved towards her.

"Captain," she recognized her. "Congratulations on your first successful trip."

The two exchanged a quick look and turned back to her.

Relena stood under their odd looks and smiled again. With a nod back towards the reporters still crowding the doorway she quietly said, "As far as they know the minor setbacks were nothing to be concerned about, and we're terribly happy that you performed so well."

The two nodded stiffly and tossed distrusting looks towards the doorway as well.

"So aside from keeping them out of your way, what else can I do for you?"

The glance they exchanged this time was much better humored, and Captain Nustrouse gave her a bit of a smile. "Ma'am, you are a woman after my own heart."

"I take that as a compliment, Captain. You're dedication in all of this is impressive, and I don't intend to let 'technical difficulties' ruin things. Not when I have people I can count on," she emphasized.

The two straightened unconsciously under the praise.

"Foreman…?" she stalled a moment.

"Alstead, Madam."

"Foreman Alstead, how bad is it?" she asked him, figuring she already knew the answer.

He turned to the side to look at the tail end of the ship as a crew began working a large, lumpy item out of the back, top hatch. "That is supposed to be a perfect cylinder," he looked back down at her and she met his gaze, "and the stuff inside is supposed to move."

Oh.

"I don't have the time or equipment to repair it quickly. Downtime will be at least a week unless we get a new one. That's if any of it is salvageable."

Understanding, she brushed it off as easily as she could. "Please get it replaced then. We'll find a way to make up for it later. This is a crucial period," she honestly informed them.

He gave a quick nod and Relena had the feeling he would have snapped off a salute if it had been different circumstances.

"Captain, I hope you'll be able to make do with this ship until we can get you into a custom one."

"We'll make it work," she stated emphatically.

Relena believed her. She believed both of them. There was no doubt in them, and she gratefully gave them both a smile before turning and letting the others lead her back towards their shuttle. "Thank you," she sincerely finished.

There was something so honest in them. Being accustomed to the fickle roundabouts and shady on-again off-again dealings of most politicians, blunt assuredness was a beautiful thing. Wordy, impractical droning had its place in her life, but it carried no weight compared to the simple pride of someone who stood by their work and made no excuses for their actions.

The more you understand a problem, the less you have to say about it.

Her challenge through the years was to discover those who were the quietest and remember the lessons she learned from them. Simple truth was just that, simple.

With a quiet smile, she realized that she was still learning that.

The group picked their way through the mess and semi-organized chaos when movement caught her attention. A man, probably in his upper twenties, moved around the edge of the ship, and she caught his eye.

Relena politely gave him a smile and thought nothing of it until the man stopped short and sidestepped quickly directly into her path. Ry was too far ahead and whirled around as the man cut between them. In the midst of the scattered equipment and under the cover of the aft tail of the ship, the man dropped to his knees in front of her.

And before he even connected with the deck plating, Heero's semi-automatic side arm was aimed directly between his eyes.

Both men froze, the others scattered to cover them, drawing their own weapons and watching for secondary targets.

Relena gasped, tucked against Heero's side after he had automatically edged ahead of her. She stood staring down at the man, her eyes wide.

By now it was apparent that he was not trying to attack her. Instead, he looked intently back up at her, almost apologetically. But he never flinched away from Heero's point-blank range. He seemed to wait, almost patiently, as they others made their determinations that no one else was planning anything, and slowly closed in to form a tight circle around him.

Snapping out of her surprise, Relena calmly shifted. Stepping away from Heero a little, she moved her hand across and gently placed it on his forearm, silently asking him to lower the gun.

He didn't.

She applied a little more pressure, her eyes still never leaving those of the man kneeling before her, but still the gun never wavered.

"Can I help you, Sir?" she finally questioned, thinking better of the situation.

"I don't mean no harm," he immediately stated, his voice very soft with a bit of an accent coming through. "I want to thank you, Queen Relena." Finally his eyes dropped from hers and his hands balled loosely on his pants legs. "I wouldn't mean no harm. Not ever," he seemed to promise the decking.

"I apologize then," she took a steadying breath. The last attack against her seemed to have had more of an affect on her than she'd assumed. And she didn't like the frightened reaction he'd inspired. But she stood close to Heero's side, her right hand crossed over her stomach to where it rested on his arm. Blinking, she tried to shake it off while the man was still studying the floor. "What did you want to say?"

With a little nod, he looked up at her again, almost timidly, and his hands tightened to fists around the material of his fatigue-styled pants. "Thank you, Ma'am," he stated sincerely. "I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to say it to you direct-like."

How nice. And probably very truthful considering her usual circumstances. "What is your name?" she asked, feeling quite relieved.

"They called me Deal," he confessed. "Never knew my real one, Ma'am. But the people here, they gave me a new one," he happily went on, gaining confidence. "Neal. Neal Goodman," he pronounced proudly.

Her heart lumped in her throat and she smiled at the almost child-like excitement he had over the simple act of stating his own name. Her instinct was to sink to her knees too, speak with him a while, ask him what brought him here, what else she could do for him.

Heero lowered his gun to his side and pushed the safety on.

Something in his movement made her stop herself. This man wasn't here to be friendly. He had called her "Queen Relena" still. Instead, she straightened in front of him. "I think it's a fitting name, Mr. Goodman."

He tried not to smile but failed and looked down again. "Thank you, Ma'am. This place… you gave a lot of us something to live for. It's been a long time since we felt good for much. We'll do you proud," he solemnly nodded and looked up at her again. "I'll do you proud."

It was surreal….

Extending her hand, she offered it to him. "I believe you."

He wasn't expecting that, she could read it clearly on his face. But he looked between her and her hand and then glanced around at the others before he took it carefully and rose to his feet. "Th-thank you," he mumbled again, seemingly uncertain.

She shook his hand and extended her other to cup his a moment before nodding to him with a smile. "It was wonderful to meet you, Neal Goodman. You are exactly what I need here. Thank you for answering my call."

It sounded rehearsed and fake, but she meant it with all her heart. Looking at him, she met brown eyes and she was sure he saw that.

He blinked, but straightened himself to full height and pushed his shoulders back. "Anything, Queen Relena," he nodded stiffly in military precision.

That was how he saw her. She was still the Queen that called for the unification of the world.

Everything was true then. By name and ideal alone she had collected an army faithful to her. And as much as she didn't want that to be true, it was. Not the new government. Not her position. Not her projects. Not even their own new beginnings. Her. Faithful only to her.

"I'll return to work, Ma'am," he stated.

With a final smile she waved him on, "Please, carry on." …It wasn't what she wanted to say.

Turning on his heel he slipped away from the others and they let him go as he ducked under the aft of the ship and went about his work.

She watched him go as the others chuckled off their nerves. Heero holstered his sidearm again and Relena quietly took his arm to keep him there beside her. Once aboard the shuttle again, the others breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Relena didn't enjoy the same feeling.

* * *

It was no surprise that time marched on. Things changed, lives rearranged, but time moved on. One breath at a time. 

In the background Relena could hear Ry, Alli and Del talking, it didn't matter much what it was about. They were just passing time before they went their separate ways for a few days.

The group was somehow segregated recently. Since she and Heero had gone public with their relationship the others had stepped back from their friendly interactions. They probably felt like they were intruding at times. Her three officers granted them privacy, but they were never far away.

It was kind of cute. Her friends had given themselves the task of being their ever-vigilant chaperones, but also their front line defense against the media and storm of public curiosity.

It was a job that Heero couldn't handle himself. She was sure that nagged on him some. But the less he stepped out in the media spotlight, the better off their personal life was. Relena was centered in the headlines enough as it was.

But that wasn't entirely true. Through personal contact and conversations she was beginning to notice others getting a distinct impression of him. Agent Yuy was not just the ever watchful guardian tucked at her side. His quiet, thoughtful nature made people think twice before running off at the mouth around him. Between his position and his natural temperament, he was intimidating and mesmerizing at the same time.

It was amusing to discover that she wasn't the only person to be taken in by that combination.

She still didn't think he honestly understood how much of a support he was to her. It had nothing to do with his job. His physical presence was enough to settle her nerves, calm her mind. A simple, reversed touch from him could still her in place.

The idea of him being there was still her greatest comfort.

Even if not in the room, she knew he was here. Probably upstairs, checking with house command. It had been a long while since she had settled in at her estate for more than a night or two. She had five days to collect herself here and prepare for the next campaign run. She had a lot to answer for on Mars still, and it would be the hot topic from now on.

Her rival, the younger Mr. Pearl, would rip into the audacity of her goals for Mars the first chance he got. She didn't want to give the man the satisfaction, but the facts of the first shuttle run wouldn't escape his notice no matter what spin she put on it.

It was odd how even in her own head that man had come to represent the pessimistic naggings of the general populous. She supposed in a way she should thank him for keeping her on her toes.

Not that she would.

Some changes she could accept, some she would grin and bear, some she would staunchly oppose. Richard Pearl was a learning experience.

"The idea that a free enterprise such as cargo transportation is better off in the hands of the government is ridiculous. Despite the grandiose plans for the workforce involved, since when does the Foreign Affairs department know anything about running a chartered delivery service?"

He was right. She really didn't know the specifics. IRIS wouldn't really turn into the perfect piece of this puzzle until Mars itself was stable. She certainly wasn't going to advertise it, but her ultimate goal was for the future governing body of Mars to take over the running of IRIS. Perhaps even push it back into the private sector again.

But it couldn't be helped right now. This was the only viable option for all concerned. Maybe it wasn't the absolute best resolution, but it was the best they had at the moment.

Richard Pearl had his good points, but she was getting tired of being second guessed. Like it or not, he was dealing with the still proclaimed Queen of the World.

Relena flipped through the catalogs as Ry and Alli started in on one of their usual arguments.

Whether people were following her unthinkingly or not, she had no intentions of leading them astray. If they chose to continue thinking of her like that, she had no real way to dissuade them.

She had people to keep her honest. As long as she didn't give up listening, she would be alright.

It would all be alright.

* * *

Heero had dismissed the group more than hour ago, but leaving the house command center, he passed Alli as she paced quickly towards the door. 

"Night, Heero," she tossed at him.

He nodded at her in return.

"Petite, wait," Ry dragged along behind her. "I didn't mean it. You take everything so personally."

Whatever he was defending himself from, it obviously wasn't working considering the way she slammed the door behind her without waiting for him.

The two's arguments were usual during downtimes. Deciphering which were real and which were "playful" was still something he couldn't master. Relena seemed to hold an active interest in the two's relationship. Heero preferred to stay out of it.

He didn't understand the bickering. The two reminded him of Duo and Dorothy on occasion, and he wasn't inclined to consider that romance.

"What did I do now?" Ry grumbled and threw up his hands in defeat.

Then again, he was dragged into the mess more than he cared to be.

Saying nothing, he continued past, figuring Ry should attend to the problem.

"I swear, she goes off on the stupidest stuff anymore," he complained again, turning to follow Heero instead.

Flawed plan. New tactic. "Shouldn't you go after her?"

"Are you nuts? She'd bite my head off. That nasty temper needs to chill for a while."

Plan failure.

"I don't need to be crawling back to her all the time anyway. She can just come back to me. I'm tired of being the sweet, level-headed one," Ry decided.

Heero didn't respond but mentally refuted that claim. "She doesn't have a vehicle," he calmly reminded him instead. The five had come in a business vehicle. She would be on foot unless she called for other transportation.

"She can walk for all I care," he snipped.

Heero paused in the hallway and looked back at him. He knew Alli lived several miles away and it was close to freezing this late in a fall night. He wasn't particularly worried about his officer, but he didn't especially want Relena to overhear that. She was more sensitive to others' comfort.

"…What?" Ry shrugged at him and then tucked his hands in his pockets.

He looked away and Heero simply waited. Ry Noland was not a man that hid his emotions well. Faked them sometimes, but not usually in a case like this.

"She'll…. Fine," he huffed and turned back towards the door. "I'll go bring her back." Heero was about to leave it at that and go suggest to Delano that he take them and the car back so that the two could fight elsewhere. He already had his personal vehicle on the estate where he'd left it before their trip. But once again Ry turned back to him, intent on continuing. "I'm really starting to think this isn't worth it."

Relena would chide him if he simply stated that wasn't his problem. He'd made that mistake once. That aside, there was a bit of curiosity over the two, and he turned to lean against the hallway wall to listen.

"Stuff changes, right? I mean don't get me wrong, she's great," he went on, shuffling uncomfortably. "It was fun at first, but then you guys all found out."

Did he still believe they hadn't known all along?

"And we're just together constantly. It's like we're never apart," he complained. "It's getting old dating someone you're around all the time, you know?"

Ry turned to him for an answer and Heero simply returned his look. He didn't understand. "Dating" was meant to encourage the couple to be around each other. Working together only added to that. What was the issue?

"Why am I asking you?" Ry finally shook it off. "If you broke up with your girlfriend the whole Earth Sphere would implode." Turning he strode off towards the door again, "And I think I'm stuck," he muttered and thrust his hands back into his pockets.

Heero watched him sullenly walk out of sight and heard the door open and close behind him.

Quietly he turned and continued down towards the sitting room Relena and Delano were still in.

Break up…?

* * *

Delano had agreed to see the two quarreling officers back to headquarters with an exaggerated sigh of annoyance. He seemed to be tired of refereeing the couple. 

Heero understood the feeling.

But he had stayed, choosing to watch through the sitting room window at the corner of the property where he could make out Delano driving the car to the end of the driveway where the other two were still talking.

Loud and animatedly.

It was dark, and they were far enough away that he couldn't read their lips, but he didn't need to.

They didn't seem to have made up.

"I worry about those two sometimes," Relena commented from her seat on the couch.

"Hn," he nodded even though she wasn't looking at him.

The situation was familiar, but odd this time. Ry's confession hung in his head and Heero wasn't sure how to respond to it. Sparing a glance at Relena, he watched her a moment as she flipped a couple pages in a catalogue.

He supposed they did spend more time together than the average couple. Most worked in different places, and therefore only saw each other for "dating" occasions. At least that was the impression he gathered.

There were exceptions.

Turning to look back out, he watched the two climb into the car and it drove on towards the front gates.

Again he glanced back at Relena, just for a moment before finding the outside view again. "Will they be alright?" He felt strange asking it.

"Oh probably," she returned easily. "They do this all the time. It's kind of cute," she tossed a smile over his direction when he turned to regard her. "I think Ry's just feeling a little smothered. Some downtime will probably help that."

So she wasn't concerned then. Good.

He wasn't sure why that seemed to be a relief to him.

He heard the catalogue drop and looked at her again. Relena sat cross-legged in the middle of the couch and stared over at him, the catalogue forgotten in her lap. "Don't tell me you're worried about them," she insinuated, a smirk coming to her lips that he didn't particularly care for.

"No."

"Liar!" she called, and chuckled at him. "Heero Yuy, you're concerned about our friends' relationship. That's just sweet."

He shouldn't have asked. "Sweet?" he questioned.

"Of course," she happily giggled and went back to her catalogue. "You don't express concern very often. You must be worried."

Express concern? He expressed his concerns. Perhaps it was only in trivial matters that she was referring to. He didn't feel particularly concerned about Ry and Alli even now. He was just unclear. "No I'm not," he defended.

She broke out laughing and dropped the magazine again.

Well, he wasn't. He was merely attempting to make sense of Ry's interpretation of their situation. His relationship with Relena did seem somewhat similar to Ry and Alli's now that the comparison had been made. They both worked together and were personally involved. He supposed that was an adequate similarity.

From his experience though, none of that involved terminating the relationship. In his understanding, those who worked together and became romantically involved ended in either of two ways. Involuntarily through one or both dying, or voluntarily by being married.

There were a good number of Preventers officers that were remorseful over the loss of a special colleague. Many even suggested things about Commander Une having a past relationship with Treize Khushrenada. Successful couples however seemed to opt for quick, and unannounced marriage ceremonies when given the opportunity. Including Duo and Hilde, and Zechs and Noin.

The idea of termination of the relationship by mutual consent hadn't factored in as such.

Rethinking that, perhaps "mutual" was not exactly the correct term. It seemed either side could initiate changes to the relationship at will.

It made all of this far more volatile than he had considered before.

"Alright, I didn't mean to laugh. I just thought it was funny," Relena interrupted his thoughts. Meeting her eyes, he hadn't quite realized that she wasn't finished with her assessment of his emotional state. "You're brooding again," she stated, but smiled at him and held out her hand in an offer to move closer to her.

He took the opportunity but didn't appreciate her assessment. Obviously it was misplaced.

"What is it?" she asked as he took her hand and let her guide him to take a seat beside her on the couch.

Tossing aside what she'd been looking at, she moved to curl against his side and laid her head on his shoulder.

"You've got something on your mind."

Heero had never exactly understood that expression. There was always something "on his mind." What made certain thoughts any different? "Nothing," he refuted. There was no way he could articulate this to her.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, lifting her head to look up at him.

For a moment he looked her in the eye, and let the confusion die down. She seemed happy with them. Content. At least for now, he supposed. He had learned quickly that those types of reactions were not static and could vary with no predictable pattern.

He nodded. Relena mildly shrugged and seemed to give up on it.

Leaning down, he caught her lips and kissed her. It was a warm reassurance to him and, he believed, to her as well.

Perhaps he didn't understand it all, and perhaps she did find that humorous, but she never dismissed any question he posed to her. Often she never even seemed to notice his reasons for asking. As much as he wanted to understand the way she understood, he was beginning to find it an impossible battle. They had completely different outlooks and experiences.

But as he felt her move a hand to touch his cheek, he reasoned that she must be fairly certain of them

Heero pulled away only enough to place his forehead against hers, her hand continuing to caress his cheek and jaw. Turning into her a little more, he made them more comfortable and pushed away the concerns that had been raised.

He did too show concern.

"Heero," she whispered, drawing his attention fully to her again. Her hand slipped from his face to his chest where it rested against him. "Today on the Satellite…" she tapered off.

The man who had accosted her. He wondered if she would say something about it. He wasn't sure how it had affected her, but he was certain she hadn't brushed it off as easily as she pretended. "Hn," he encouraged her to go on.

Breathing in, she seemed to draw her thoughts again. "I realized just how much faith some of these people have in me." Again she paused and licked her lips. "It's never going to be easy to live up to that."

Perhaps. But that didn't need to be a large consideration for her. They would follow whatever path they had the opportunity for.

"I really need you," she whispered, her voice seemingly lost. "I really need your strength. I can't… I could never do this alone."

She put too much faith in him. But even considering that, she meant what she was saying. There was no way to refute her and it wouldn't do any good to try.

Heero leaned back enough to be able to look at her, but her eyes were still glossily staring at his shirt.

Relena still considered him her safeguard. Not physically as would be assumed due to his position, but her political safeguard. He was, in essence, the embodiment of these people she was so set on saving.

He realized that now more than ever.

Perhaps he was actually the reason she was so determined.

"You're the only one that I can completely count on," she continued, and Heero watched her eyes gather tears. Looking up at him finally she had to have seen the look of surprise he held. Softening to a smile, her tears backed down and that tender look of hers took their place. "Promise me you won't let me do anything that you don't think is right."

It was idealist to think that he could spare her from ever making a mistake. But she was the only person that could turn idealism into reality. And he knew better than underestimate her.

With a slight nod, he promised her.

She smiled brighter at it and seemed relieved. Moving forward she placed her head on his shoulder and laid against him. "Thank you."

Alright. Let's see what they could do.

* * *

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have." Unknown 

AN: There you have it, ladies and gentleman, finally an update. You would just not believe how difficult this is getting. But no fears, I will press on, and hopefully before year 4 I'll have another chapter for you. ;)

Orphen27: I don't suppose I qualified for the flowers, chocolate and cookie package after this long, did I?


	34. Chapter 34

"Realizations"  
By Isis  
Chapter 34

"I'm telling you I know what I saw!"

Marcolm Alstead sat at his tiny little desk, buried in one of the corners of the Mars Satellite docking bay and basically ignored the man in front of him. "I'm telling you you don't."

Behind the metal desk, he sat in a chair that no longer adjusted up or down and caught him nearly three inches below his knees. Due to the low gravity the desk was welded to the floor and the Foreman hadn't gotten the chance to cut it away to move it yet. As such, he ducked every time he attempted to sit down to avoid nailing his head on one of the low hung shelves that lined his little corner of the world.

This place had been designed by a dwarf. Considering the effort required to physically remove this subordinate, he opted to continue his paperwork despite the excitable man.

However, he looked up with a glare when the loading crewman slammed his hands down on the in and out bins at the front of his desk. "Why don't any of you believe me!"

Alstead sat and looked up at the man until he flinched backward.

Clearing his throat, he carefully tidied the piles of papers, and then calmly placed his hands back on the desktop without disturbing anything this time. "I'm not crazy," he stated emphatically. "I know that that's the same kid."

Leaning back, Alstead quietly shook his head and glanced around them. "I don't care what you think you know, Dumask. You keep ideas like that to yourself."

"Damn it, why won't you people listen to me!" he shouted again.

"Keep your voice down," Alstead gruffly admonished him.

"Look, I don't care what you think, but I know who he is. It never dawned on me until I saw him move. He sidestepped that marking wrench like he had a radar receiver in his head," he exaggerated, jabbing a finger at his forehead for emphasis. "He's the same kid." Leaning down lower to him over the desk, Dumask seethed, "I'm talking a damned Gundam pilot."

Alstead's eyes narrowed, but still he didn't move. "You're talking 'bout Queen Relena's right-hand man."

Dumask cursed and hung his head, "Why do you think I'm trying to get this through to you? I lived eighteen months on the Lunar base. I saw the tests those scientists did on those boys. I know what inhuman crap they were pulling. Hooking 'em into machines. Modeling some sort of super Mobile Dolls off of them. You don't get it!"

"I get that if you don't shut your mouth about this stuff, someone will do it for you," Alstead finally rose slowly to his feet.

"Huh? What the hell…?" Dumask looked up at him, betrayed.

"You're talking 'bout stuff you got no business remembering," he warned. "Really unpopular stuff. Queen Relena ain't going to be controlled by anyone, and don't you imply it."

"Who's implying that?" he defended.

Leaning forward, he made Dumask back up. "What that man was before ain't none of your concern. He's with the Vice Minister and you won't talk about her judgement like that." Lowering his voice, Alstead favored him with a look of friendly warning, "You don't have the right to out nobody. Same as the rest of us. That's what you'd better remember. No one here takes a liking to it."

Dumask balked, staring at him. "But… we're talking Gundam—"

"We ain't talking," he dismissed him. Sitting back down he went back to his work. "And you'd better learn that."

* * *

"You need me, Lady?" 

"Come in, close the door."

Alstead stepped forward into the small HR office and let the door slide shut by itself. He was called here now and then for personnel issues, but this time it had been Lady Dorothy here to greet him. And he was well aware that she didn't make a habit of giving out good news.

Since she hired him and his crew on, he hadn't seen her much. She was on Satellite less and less these days, and he typically dealt with Director Huberts.

Huberts however wasn't nearly as understanding of their particular problems though.

"I hope I didn't inconvenience you, but I have a question," she began. Sitting on top of Huberts' desk, she casually crossed her legs and picked up a small folder. "How exactly does one of our employees end up with a cracked rib and a rather obscene amount of abdominal bruising due to… 'sleep walking?'" she read.

"The report I got was that he was found under one of the supply cabinets in the bay. His bunkmate stated that he tended to sleepwalk sometimes, bump into stuff around their apartment. Obviously this time he was trying to go to work."

Dorothy looked up at him with a bored expression. "And also obvious is that you weren't actually part of this or you would have come up with something far more subtle." She tossed the folder aside and sighed at him. "Is there an issue with this Mr. Dumask that I need to be aware of?"

"None I know of," he stated.

"None anyone knows of, right?" she insinuated.

Alstead nodded.

"Make sure this does not become a habit. The infirmary is liable to take this to someone higher than me who might actually care."

Again he nodded to her.

Tilting her head to the side, the blond betrayed a slight smirk. "So, are you going to let me in on it?" she lowered her voice with a sense of conspiracy, but Alstead stubbornly shook his head no. "Well, you're no fun," she pouted.

With a smirk of his own, he nodded.

Sighing in resignation, she picked up another folder. "Now about this replacement core you just outfitted our ship with."

"If you need the requisition permissions you'll have to speak with the Foreign Affairs Department," he gave his standard answer. Considering the number of bean-counters around here, it rolled off his tongue easily by now.

With a chuckle, the Lady shook her head. "If it would help to further this project, I wouldn't doubt if Miss Relena required you to fill all of space with pure oxygen. I'm merely here to tell you that the bills will be seen to. However, accountants are nervous creatures. Do try to your best to make them comfortable for a while?" she raised a distinctly forked eyebrow at him.

"Understood."

"Good. See how easy this is? Huberts is banging his bald little head off the wall. Poor man is going to give himself a nasty medical condition," she mumbled, and tucked away the folder again. "That's all, dear Foreman."

"Lady," he drew her attention back. "You know the Vice Minister, don't you?"

Dorothy blinked at him but nodded easily, "Far better than most are aware, I'll admit."

"That's why you're here," he challenged.

With a little giggle, she shrugged. "I like to helpful."

It didn't escape him that that wasn't actually an answer, but Alstead let it go. "She and her crew seemed pretty well informed," he opened.

The Lady watched him curiously, but obviously didn't see the point. "I suppose. This is as much her pet-project as it is mine."

"I meant about the ship's repair needs."

A bit surprised, she shook her head and looked away in thought a moment, "I'm not sure why. Miss Relena has never struck me as mechanically savvy. Her Preventers friends, though, would be."

Alstead nodded thoughtfully at the suggestion. "Captain Nustrouse noticed it when she spoke to the Agent with them."

"Our illustrious Agent Yuy?" she brightened. "Oh yes, you'll find he is especially knowledgeable about a good number of things."

"You know him?" he innocently questioned.

"Of course," the Lady smiled. "Why?"

Huh. She wasn't as loose lipped as he'd expected. "Wasn't sure I liked the looks of him," he confessed.

"Really? I find him terribly attractive," she purred, going a little dreamy-eyed. Alstead nearly made a face, but she chuckled and waved it off. "There's nothing that should concern you. Miss Relena has as good a taste in men as I do."

The smile that graced her lips made that comment seem completely innocent. But her eyes didn't.

He had recognized the girl as an instigator and troublesome the moment he saw her. He had even called her on it directly, unraveling her little game to weed out the amount of hopefuls for the position of Foreman. Alstead had discovered later that the Lady had already chosen him and only wanted to ensure he would be worth her faith. Even though he had pegged her correctly, he'd still underestimated her that one time.

The two had gotten along very well after they had come to understand each other. He kept the crews here in line as much as possible without the higher ups getting word of it. And she had a knack for telling him just enough about things he wasn't supposed to know about.

"Understood," he smirked.

It seemed the Lady Catalonia was a very well informed woman. And having been hand picked by her, he had no problem with anyone she considered to be just her taste. Were he a younger man he'd be flattered.

* * *

"How's Mars?" 

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" she smiled at the screen in front of her. Even though there was no picture, Relena was delighted that the call went through.

"It seems to be busier on your end."

"You just have it easier because no reporters can get a pass out there." That would just be the icing on her political cake. The last thing the pioneers on the Mars colony needed was a group of snoopy media getting in their way. "It has to be quieter."

"Some days," he answered.

Milliardo was never exactly talkative with her. Their conversations were far more polite than normal siblings. The lack of anything in common hindered the small attempts at a relationship that they were trying for. Still, it was nice to hear his voice. Usually, when she got a call to go through the interplanetary connections, she was lucky to find Lucracia with a spare moment or two to chat. She didn't even know how long it had been since she'd spoken to her brother.

"How's the election fairing?"

He kept track of her. She knew he did, but he always asked things like that. Relena wasn't sure if it was to hear her take on it, or just to keep the conversation alive. "According to the polls I don't even have to show up for the debate, but I have a personal score to settle with Mr. Pearl."

"Arrogance doesn't suit you," he stated, but she could hear the smile on his face despite the words.

"He's raised his questions, I intend to answer them," she responded. "All in all, he hasn't really been that bad. He's never resorted to personal attacks. Which is more than I can say for a good section of the media," she sighed, thinking over the last several months. "I never realized how interesting my everyday dealings are to the general public."

There was a lengthy pause, and she checked the indicator light to make sure they were still connected. "The public has always flocked to you."

Relena couldn't resist the smile. That wasn't what he wanted to say, and she knew it. "I guess I can't help it."

Again there was a pause as the two fought for something else to say. Relena was about to ask if he had seen the first IRIS crew, when he surprised her. "How's Heero?"

Relena sat with her mouth open, her unasked question stuck in her lungs. Had he really…?

Milliardo never asked about Heero. Never. Likewise, Heero barely acknowledged her when she talked about her brother in front of him. The two basically just ignored the other's existence and seemed happy with that arrangement.

Snapping out of it, she blinked and tried not to stammer when she responded, "He's fine." Trying to think, she pressed on, attempting to be casual with the unusual conversation. "I think he's tried of campaigning too. With the security measures surrounding me, it's ten times the amount of work considering I'm never in the same place twice these days," she chuckled.

There was no response for a second, and Relena leaned her arms on the desk in front of her. Giving the blank screen a soft smile, she mentally shrugged to herself. "He's been invaluable," she added, far more personally. "I don't know what I'd do without him. There's so much that I don't understand still, but so much I want to accomplish." She smiled, "He's a fantastic ally."

There was a snort of acknowledgement. "Stay on his good side."

She was fairly certain that was just a joke, and laughed at it regardless. "I do my best. It's not too hard these days."

"Make sure he keeps an eye on you."

"He promised he will," she softly admitted.

"Good."

Relena happily closed her eyes and shook her head, "You two." It wasn't much of an admonishment. Truthfully, this exchange was the closest thing to getting his approval of their relationship that she would probably ever get.

"Lucracia says hello," he stated, obviously changing topics.

It was alright. She was very experienced at reading between the lines. "Tell her hi too."

It was actually quite cute to watch the begrudged respect the two men had for each other when they had to deal with it. For whatever reason he chose to show it now, she was happy Milliardo had.

"Will do. Take care, Relena."

"You too," she signed off. When the line clicked and disconnected, she sat staring at the blank monitor a moment longer. "I love you too," she whispered.

* * *

Heero stepped out of the stairwell and onto the top floor of Preventers Headquarters. The lights were turned down to energy-preservation and the individual offices were dark. He needed a blueprint set for the auditorium that had been chosen for the Vice Ministerial debate and Commander Une had informed him she'd have it pulled together for him. 

Down the hall a couple doors there was a solitary office with its light on, and Heero threw the open doorway a look. Either Wufei or Sally was still working tonight. Perhaps one of them had been charged with finding the schematics for him.

Rounding the corner past his office he continued down the hall, and silently paced up to the door. Without pausing, he took one look into the office and backpedaled two steps before turning around and heading straight into his own office.

Without a sound, he shuffled through the piles and found a manila folder that contained a description in Commander Une's own handwriting, and a data disk. Taking it, he slipped out of his office and down the hallway to the stairwell again. Careful to make the door close as gently as possible, he continued down the stairs towards the ground level and out the front doors.

With a smirk he figured whatever case Wufei and Sally were working on wasn't going to be solved while she was kissing him.

* * *

"We'll see what happens as the weeks tick down to the election, Jim." 

"Indeed. Some close races to watch around the L3 cluster for sure. As we wind down this section of our program, we turn to possibly the least contested race still being waged around the Sphere. The bid for the ministry positions in the Foreign Affairs Department is anything but close. The young Richard Pearl and his uncle are trailing so badly in the recent polls that he is quickly becoming an enemy of the State by pursuing this bid any farther."

"Neither are winning any support anymore, Jim, but Richard especially is still throwing all out attacks against Miss Darlian and the Mars Terraforming project."

"In an interview just last evening, Mr. Pearl admitted that he cared very little about the final election numbers, but wanted to continue to press the issues he says are 'being overlooked by a number of popularity-blinded voters.' Strong words from someone who is being booed more often than cheered during his public appearances."

"You have to admit he's brave."

"Or idiotic, which seems to be the opinion of his uncle, the senior Pearl on the ticket. In a separate appearance, where he stated he would be declining the opportunity for a formal debate against re-election hopeful, Minister Wellington, he admitted that he wasn't sure what his nephew was hoping to accomplish, but shrugged and stated 'the boy's not one to give up.'"

"The senior Pearl has certainly tipped his hat to the re-election of the two most popular candidates in the pot."

"Otherwise, we will look forward to what promises to be a pointless, but entertaining, Vice-Ministerial debate scheduled for this weekend."

"And this is the perfect lead in to our fashion segment, Jim."

"How so, Angelique?"

"Well the 'what does the Vice Minister wear to a political debate' question, of course."

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me."

"I wish I could, but sources haven't leaked anything of interest yet on the exact outfit for the occasion."

"I'd suggest black, because it seems she intends to bury her political rival."

"If Miss Darlian hadn't always been so found of the pastels I would agree with you, Jim. However, interesting to note is yet another fashion change centered around the very young politician. We watched as her typical pantsuits gave way to skirt suits earlier this year. Of course fashion experts made all sorts of interesting theories on why she went for the more effeminate touch. But now it seems that she has opted to take that even further, sporting a chiffon skirt set during her latest appearance on L1. With a lettuce leaf hem, and a pleated back panel, it was a far cry from the infamous pink pants. Completing the ensemble was a tailored jacket with, get this, a lace neckline."

"Now, for those of us that don't have a clue what you're talking about, what's the verdict?"

"Beautiful! This was a knockout design in classic elegance. It's the first time we've seen the girl's collar bone outside of a formal ball gown since she took office."

"Trying for a few more male votes?"

"Don't think she has a problem there, Jim. Actually, my honest opinion is that she's moving towards a more regal look. She seems to really be stepping up her appeal as former European royalty. But as a young woman, I think we're seeing her decide her own attire and trying out some more flattering styles. Yet again, she doesn't stray far from the pretty pastels that we've always associated her with."

"So what does this mean for the average working woman, Angelique?"

"Long chiffon skirts are perfectly acceptable for boring team meetings, Jim."

"Perfect. And on to fashion news of the… edible?"

"Oh wow…."

* * *

"Pink or blue?" Relena asked, holding up the two suits in front of her. 

Heero continued his work without sparing a glance. "Pink."

"Really?" she blinked and then turned back to the mirror to look at them. "I was thinking the blue one."

"Then why ask?"

"Because I like to have your opinion," she threw a smile back over her shoulder at him.

"Why?"

"Well, why not?" she chuckled. "Everyone's opinion counts for something." Walking back to the closet, she hung up the pink suit and pulled out a white one, still in the delivery bag. Holding it up next to the blue one, she turned towards him again. "Blue or white?"

"Blue."

"Really?" she narrowed her eyes at him when he still didn't look up at her. "Your reasoning for that, Agent Yuy, is…?"

"You haven't worn the white before, and it takes you approximately ten minutes longer to get dressed when it's a new outfit."

Relena gaped. "You made that up!" she cried indignantly and was rewarded with a slight smirk from her boyfriend. "Heero!" she snapped, tossing both outfits over the desk chair and hopping onto the bed to crawl towards where he sat against the headboard. "You just think you're funny," she chided, attempting not to laugh at the absurdity of that statement.

"Approximately," he tried to sooth her, the smirk sticking in place.

"You're lying," she chuckled. Crawling up to his side, she faced him as much as possible, pinning him in place with her arms on either side. Blocking his view of the laptop, he finally looked at her.

"My opinion doesn't matter," he countered.

"It does too."

"Then why aren't you wearing the pink one?"

Relena tried to maintain a level of dignity, even in her current position. "Since you showed such a lack of interest, I didn't expect you to be heartbroken that I didn't take your advice. Your opinion is still duly noted."

"What interest should I have in what you wear?"

With a snort she gave up, "Probably to see how well I can run in it."

"It's a legitimate concern," he blinked.

Relena knew he was playing with her and she wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or upset with him. They really didn't get enough time just to themselves. Speaking of…. "Are you busy?" she relented, trying to crane her neck back to see what was on his computer.

Regardless, he shook his head no. She knew by now that that meant there was nothing pressing or required immediate attention, not that Heero Yuy had actually run out of things to do.

"Good," she half cheered, and moved to sit next to him. Snuggling in against his side, she laid her cheek on his shoulder and looked up at him. "After this is over, I think we deserve a nice weekend away. Could we sneak off to Mother's?"

Turning back to his computer, Heero called up her schedule, and Relena quietly rolled her eyes. She knew she didn't have anything planned that she couldn't change for the opportunity to get out from under the election pressure. She wouldn't have asked otherwise.

Finally determining that their workload was clear he nodded with a, "Hn."

"Just some peace and quiet," she hummed to herself. Closing her eyes, she leaned against her boyfriend and just daydreamed for a minute.

"The house is still routinely being monitored by the media."

Blinking her eyes open, she turned her head to look at him oddly. "How do you know that?"

"Pagan updates me as necessary."

Relena sat and looked at him and he simply regarded her back. "Pagan?"

He nodded as though that were an actual question.

"My Pagan?" she confirmed and managed to gain a slightly confused look from him. "When exactly do you two chat?" she smirked at the idea.

Again Heero turned back to his computer and pulled up his email messages. Quickly running through them, he opened one to reveal a message from Pagan, giving a couple sentence update that the house was still being staked out from time to time by the associated press, but that they weren't causing any mischief. It was signed "Thank you, and take care. Pagan."

With a chuckle Relena shook her head, "What would I do without all you guys watching over me?"

"It would make it difficult."

She hadn't needed an answer to that. It was an understatement anyway. But instead of arguing she simply nodded to him with a smile and snuggled back in. "Do you think that would be too much of a risk if they knew we were there?"

"We should be able to arrive unnoticed."

"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow. It wasn't too often these days that Heero suggested they just slip by under the radar. He'd explained that having the media as a constant witness would be somewhat of a deterrent to the right group. As such, he planned accordingly, and she just tried to remember where they were going to be when.

"Hn," he nodded.

Well, she supposed with Pagan on the inside to tell them the movements of the news crews, it may not be too hard to slip by. The reporters probably had no idea they were the ones being watched. Relena had to admit she was rather happy that the two were in cahoots.

"Whatever you advise, Agent Yuy," she conceded as though she would ever be one to go against his better judgements. Well, too often anyway. Contently she closed her eyes again.

"You don't seem concerned," he quietly interjected.

"About?" she questioned, not moving from her comfy position.

"The debate."

With a hum she acknowledged that. She'd dreaded it for several months now as the campaigning went on. But now that Richard Pearl had been backed into a corner and his complaints were falling on deaf ears, she was through playing nice with him. She didn't expect him to bow out gracefully at the last minute. He was honestly concerned about a number of issues that she admitted should be resolved in their time.

But Mr. Pearl had implied innumerous times that she held this position only because of her name alone. She intended to prove that that was not only inaccurate, but an insult.

"I'm not sure I care much at this point what Mr. Pearl ends up thinking of me," she mused out loud. "I'll make my case and he can take it or leave it." She felt Heero shift and opened her eyes to meet his. Quietly he regarded her, and Relena smiled at her dear partner. "I can't save everyone, you know."

He nodded mildly to her and she saw the smile in his eyes. He knew she didn't really want to believe that, but when she was solely up against the opinions of others there's wasn't much room to maneuver.

But when it came down to the most important matters, she was ready. She had made her vows that she wouldn't fail those that trusted her. And as she shifted to steal a kiss, she knew she had every means to achieve that goal.

"Have you decided yet?" Alli's call came from the sitting area outside her guestroom.

Slowly breaking away, she giggled. "The white one," she called back.

Heero almost sighed.

* * *

"I should have started smaller. Run for Governor maybe." 

"You're not running for anything ever again," his wife informed him from her chair.

"Aw, it was sort of fun," Melton Pearl chuckled to himself as he continued skimming the paper.

"Rich wouldn't appreciate that."

"That boy's digging his own grave. I told him better."

"Doesn't matter. You got him into this. He likes to finish what he starts. Now you have him all worked up like anybody's listening to him."

"Touchy kid, didn't expect him to take it so personally," he complained.

"Next time Wellington says he's having trouble running for office, write him a check," she stated, glaring at him over her reading glasses. "I don't want any more of this foolishness. Heaven forbid you two had actually been elected. I can just imagine the mess you'd cause."

"Should have taken you for my partner, Martha," he grumbled. "Nobody'd get a word in edgewise."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, dear."

"You'd better pull your nephew back by the ear," she continued instead. "If he says something crass to that girl he'll never get married. No good woman would have him."

"Oh, Martha," he waved it off. "He ain't stupid. He's just… high strung."

"Bad breeding if you ask me," she snickered to herself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, dear."

* * *

"Not a bad crowd," Ry mused, peeking through the back stage curtains of the large, college auditorium. 

"Everyone's scanned coming in, a quick background check on anyone with a ticket, this is the best setup we've gotten all year," Alli mumbled from her spot beside him, peeking through the same seam in the backdrop.

Delano watched them from beside Relena with a look of abandon. "I don't get those two," he mumbled to himself for the fourth time that she could remember. "One minute they're yelling at each other, the next they're the best of friends. This week their dating, next week they'll hate each other…."

"I'm not sure we'll ever get a finally answer on those two," Relena confided with a mild sigh of her own.

"With friends like that we'll never be bored," Del gave her a smile.

"I'm never usually bored," she agreed.

Turning, she caught sight of her aid, Dawna, hurrying over to her. The woman was charged with keeping track of the set debate topics, and making sure they were all on the same page. Careful to slip by the curtains without being seen she hurried into their corner of the stage and flashed them both a smile. "They've finalized the set of audience questions. No changes, so if you have time left for questions they shouldn't be any problem."

"Isn't that cheating?" Del asked.

Dawna simply shrugged, "It's normal."

"That will be fine." The only real thing that Relena didn't know how to prepare for in advance was what Rich had in store for her. And that was exactly what she was looking forward to.

Focused, she didn't really notice when she reached up and slowly began twirling her pendant as they waited. Over the top of the backdrop curtains, the gap allowed her to see the balcony seats that skirted the back of the auditorium. Heero had already taken his position there to watch as the audience filed in.

She wondered if he'd found it odd when she asked exactly where he would be tonight.

* * *

At this rate they wouldn't be getting to any of the audience questions. 

Relena stood at her podium, straight and poised. Her answers were calm and rational, and usually shorter than she had practiced them. Richard was direct and courteous, but as expected he didn't shy away from anything. She listened interestedly to his points and even graciously recognized when she agreed with him.

Her natural tendency to be a peacekeeper came through no matter how much she wanted to just tell him he was mistaken. Somehow it was less about the two against each other, and more about her defending him against the general public watching.

His ideas weren't necessarily wrong, simply misplaced or without sufficient backing.

It was more than apparent that Richard Pearl had no interest in winning this election. He was here to remind her of a whole list of items that needed to be taken care of sooner or later. And doing it in front of the entire Sphere forced her into an obligation to work on exactly those issues or they would be fair game six years from now if she tried getting elected again.

Relena didn't have to like him, but she did respect him.

"We're taking extreme amounts of resources away from the Sphere itself. I find that the project is noteworthy, but the time-frame and means are impossible," he closed his statement on the question of Mars.

It was probably the hottest topic tonight, and the one she cared the most about. As such, he had taken his time in shooting it full of holes.

"Miss Darlian," the moderator turned the floor to her.

"Our greatest resource is our people," she opened, not caring if this was going to be a popular statement or not. "This topic is not simply about our neighboring planet. What we face now is something that no one wants to talk about. The fact is that we have thousands of people who are still displaced, out of work, and without home or family. We have veterans with nothing to do with their lives anymore. The 'resource' is here, right in front of us. What we don't have are projects befitting this notably ingenious class of citizens. The Mars Project, as I have been pushing for it to be, is not impossible... it simply needs to be handled by the people capable of it. I am not a slave-driver out to raise some monument that I can stamp my own name on. I am simply more willing to see the amazing drive and resolve in the men and women who are taking up this task."

Again, the shortness of her answer caught the mediator a bit off guard as he turned back to ask if Mr. Pearl wanted time for a rebuttal.

Without even acknowledging the man at the table in front of them, Richard leaned casually on his podium and looked over at her. With a mild chuckle, he seemed to find something amusing about her. "Are you proclaiming yourself a war General instead of a pacifist now, Miss Darlian?" he gave her a smile.

This whole thing was nothing but a game to him. Resisting the urge to be upset as the poor taste of the question, she too ignored the moderator trying to keep them in format and pointedly met the eyes of her opponent.

"My beliefs remain the same. No weapon or division should stand against true peace. I will never lead a war front, Mr. Pearl. But if anyone wishes to follow me, my only stipulation is that they be willing to devote themselves to something constructive. And I trust each and every person to decide what that is."

Richard seemed to be listening with rapt attention and Relena turned back to the audience. "I'm tired of seeing people living in fear of trusting each other. There are scars on this generation that will never heal. I'm not blind to that," she stated sincerely. Carefully she thought through her next line, and her eyes drifted towards the balcony, high in the back of the hall. "But I have a mission for them."

"What qualifies you to lead a 'resource' of former soldiers?" Rich sidestepped the given protocol and interjected.

Turning her eyes back to him she realized he didn't understand. It was same thing that Relena herself didn't want to believe before the previously unnamed Neal Goodman dropped to his knees in front of her on the Satellite deck. "Because it seems I'm the one they trust," she answered bluntly.

To an entire population of people, she would forever be "Queen Relena." And as much as power like that scared her, she'd discovered that she had no recourse but to use it. She was here in a political debate before public voters who would elect her democratically, but she was a monarch and a figurehead to a large section of the population.

She stood on stage in a long skirt and Elizabethan jacket, her hair pulled back at the sides with a small, sparkling barrette. But to those who believed in her the strongest, it was a gown and a tiara. Proudly displayed around her neck was a piece of a Gundam given to her by the soldier that she loved with all her heart. She was a living contradiction, but everything she had in her life made her determined to stay the same path that she was on.

And she wasn't about to let anyone who didn't understand that try to stop her.

* * *

No matter how often he'd found himself in this position, it was always the same feeling. 

From the closed off overlook centered between the two banks of balcony seating, Heero stood watching her the same way he had many times before. The picture of innocence and yet so strong that people flocked to trust and support her.

As the audience below rose to their feet in a standing ovation, he watched Relena look out at them with a bit of surprise showing through her controlled demeanor. It was her words and her abilities that the people believed in and followed, but it was her humility that made them adore her. Even in that unshakable determination that he was accustomed to there was something so gentle in her.

He'd come to understand that from positions like this over the years.

But even with their devotion, these people had no idea how much she would give for them. The very struggle that she had finally come to terms with proved that she wouldn't be dissuaded. She didn't want to be the next pacifist leader who these people would fall apart without. But she was.

She wanted people to think for themselves, to be strong enough to make their own decisions, because it was simply the right thing to do. But she didn't have that option. She was right, the generation they belonged to was scarred and weak.

They didn't want the option to decide for themselves. They were reliant and dependant, letting someone speak for them as long as they had that luxury. They trusted more than they were prepared to protect.

And he had been just as wrong once. That was exactly why he stood here. Heero knew exactly what he was protecting. A woman with the heart and ideals to make the impossible come true. Who never stopped believing in the best possible outcome no matter how impractical it may seem at first. Someone who would never forgive herself for betraying the trust of a single person that believed in her.

Or even someone that she believed in despite what he was.

Relena laid her emotions out in full view and used them accordingly. It was a strength that Heero knew he would never fully understand no matter how much he tried to follow it. But watching her like this once again, he knew it had gotten easier.

It wasn't a matter of learning or teaching, it was simpler than that. Relena was the measure that he now held himself up against because… he wasn't alone. He'd come to realize that he trusted her with everything he was. The realization now was that he was actually standing here, between her and anyone that would harm her, because he trusted her with what he would become.

He'd never bothered to look at the future. It didn't pay to leave your mind in the past or the future. But he had no intentions of ever leaving her side, and for once he thought he understood what she meant by offering people a "home."

He stood at the balcony railing, a notable smirk to his face as he watched her. For a moment he absorbed the feeling of pride in him. She hadn't done this on her own either. He should have believed her when she told him that she needed his strength, but he hadn't understood what she could gain from someone like him. Yet there it was. He'd heard his influence on her come out in her own words.

He would keep her watchful and guarding of the soldiers. And he would keep her safe, her life more valuable than any other. More than that, he would be the knowledge and experience that she would never have. He swore that above anything else. He would be exactly what he'd never let her become, no matter what happened to them.

…He loved her too much. For once, he didn't have any other word for it.

He would protect her from anything he could. The rest of the time, he would help her as needed. There didn't need to be any other reason than that… he could. He was perfectly suited for this mission.

Scanning the crowd below, Heero pushed himself back to the task at hand. But that feeling didn't leave, and he didn't mind.

* * *

She didn't even care enough to make a statement about her "decisive victory." It wasn't worth rubbing Mr. Pearl's nose in it. 

"_My congratulations, Vice Minister." Relena stopped and turned back to him as Rich offered her his hand. "Contrary to the media's belief, I haven't been out to simply torment you. What I said in the beginning was accurate. I do admire you."_

_With the debate ended, she hadn't expected to see him backstage but he'd sought her out. And with a smile, she shook his hand. "Thank you, I appreciate that," she answered gracefully. "And please do believe that I understand your concerns and will work for their resolution."_

"_I'm sure you will, Madam," he stated, a good-natured smile still locked in place. "Good luck to you and the Minister."_

"_You too, Mr. Pearl," she acknowledged and watched as he nodded to her politely. Tucking his hands in his suit pockets he walked off, seemingly not the least bit phased by their debate._

_She supposed he probably wasn't. After all, mostly likely he had expected this from the start._

Relena flipped through the files on her datapad which held her notes about the election. Topics raised, people seen, answers, thoughts, questions, all of it. Slowly, she closed each one and moved them to an out of the way folder. She had no intentions of deleting any of it yet.

Looking back at it all, Relena would say that she was better off for the way he had handled himself. Better off for the whole experience actually. Richard Pearl had not been a push over opponent. He'd thought through his moves, played the topics introduced, and criticized everything equally.

Perhaps she should take up Dorothy's amused suggestion to offer him a position in their department. She assumed her friend was kidding, but the idea did lodge in her brain for a while regardless. She wasn't sure if he'd find that a compliment though. They had parted on polite terms; that was enough for her.

The debate had been a crowning moment in public image. The polls hadn't changed much. Their lead was still shaping up to be an overwhelming landslide. It had been a basically pointless exercise, but it finally pitted their personalities against each other. And the "face to face" results had been splashed across headlines already.

Headlines that had turned up on her mother's doorstep even before she and the others had.

Glancing over, she snuck a peek at Heero as he lie beside her. He'd come in and sat down at the foot of her bed more than an hour ago. Now he laid back, his knees still hanging off the edge. His laptop had been forsaken after they had gone through the corrections she'd made to her schedule already this morning.

She felt she had no reason to continue with the pace she'd been running. In just under four weeks the polls would open, and it would be over. Relena had canceled three minor appearances, all of which were off world. She was tired and no one would be particularly hurt if she eased down to a normal number of appearances again.

Heero hadn't ventured anything on the subject, either not caring, or not finding any reason to doubt her judgment. Of course, he rarely ever commented on her schedule, leaving that up to her.

She sat at the head of the bed, her pillows collected around her. She'd been here since she'd started the nostalgic task of cleaning out her datapad. Her mother had another engagement this morning, and she hadn't gone down for breakfast. Apparently Heero had slipped upstairs when they others got up, after having appointed himself to what was left of the night watch. But always thoughtful, Pagan had sweetly brought up a couple plates for them.

Reaching over, she snagged the last piece of toast off of the tray and tossed another look at her boyfriend to see if he'd notice it was actually his. Still he didn't move and Relena resisted the urge for the second or third time to reach down and brush the unruly locks of his bangs out of his face. Taking a small bite she waited to see if he would half-heartedly accused her of stealing his breakfast. She knew he hardly ever ate toast anyway.

Come to think of it, he had moved for a while. Relena paused, watching him carefully for a moment. Had he actually fallen asleep? Blinking, she pushed her eyes back to the datapad in her lap as a smile slipped slowly onto her face. Quietly she returned to scanning the material, determined not to wake him.

He hadn't gotten any sleep last night. They had snuck off late in the evening and drove to her mother's before any media outlets thought to collect here looking for a reaction. They had slipped in without anyone noticing as Heero had predicted.

"_Doesn't look like anyone beat us to the punch!" Ry called from the other car as the groups piled out. _

_Relena closed her door softly, knowing her mother and Pagan would be asleep. The early morning hours were blisteringly cold and the air froze in her nose for a minute. She curled her coat around her shoulders, not bothering to put in on for the short walk into the house._

_Heero had already popped the truck and pulled out their bags. Waiting for him, she tipped her head back and waited for the sting of cold tears to blink out of her eyes. The stars were brilliant, sparkling in all their crystal clarity on a night like this. It was wonderful to be in a place where you could actually look up and see them again._

_Closing the truck, Heero tossed both bags over his shoulder without offer hers to her, and she smiled at him even if he didn't notice. Moving past the car, she stepped up from the driveway to the side walk and towards the front steps, noting that there were actually small patches of snow between the front landscape plants. Had she missed it snow here? That was really a shame, she—_

_What she had mistaken for a shadow on the sidewalk was in fact a thin sheet of that same snow refrozen. She managed to gasp before one foot went out from under her and she caught herself on the other knee. Off balance she teetered towards her side as she tried vainly to get her hands free from the tangling coat to catch herself._

_Before she could tumbled all the way to the cement an arm grabbed her around the shoulders and jerked her back upright. She sat for a second until she got her senses back and realized she was sitting in a rather undignified position. The knee she'd fallen on was curled under her, her other leg projecting outward. Her coat was somehow swathed around her and a sleeve was tossed around her neck like a scarf._

_Letting out a laugh, she reached up and touched Heero's arm to assure him she was alright. Well it was a good thing she hadn't done that in front of a news crew._

"_Miss Relena?"_

"_I'm fine," she called to the others who stood only a few feet away and probably still wondering how she'd ended up like that._

_Alright so she was tired. She had a right to be a little clumsy; it was three in the morning._

_Heero released her and she tried to untangle herself from her coat and her skirt to get her feet under her. Stepping in front of her, he offered her his hand which she took as he tugged her up. _

"_Watch—" _

_Too late. Her helpful caution turned to another gasp as she watched Heero's footing slip on the same icy patch._

_Seemingly in slow motion she watched him fight for balance and she instinctively clamped onto his hand in hers. But the sudden jerk as he tried to use his arms to steady himself yanked her off balance once again. Pitching forward, she tried to grab onto him before she knocked him over but ended up snagged one of the bags which he still held instead. Before she knew it something smacked against her shin just before her knees both connected with the concrete._

_Once she'd finished falling, she tossed her head up and gushed, "Are you all right?"_

_Heero looked back at her, a visible mark of worry in his eyes even through the dim lighting. "You?"_

_Taking an inventory, she nodded, "Fine."_

_Upon closer inspection, she realized that she'd fallen over on top of him. Relena was somewhat crouched at his side and lying over one leg. His other knee was bent up against her hip like he was still trying to support her from falling any further._

_Mortified she stared at him as he propped himself up on an elbow to lean towards her face. "…S-sorry," she mumbled._

"_Sir?" Delano questioned, coming up next to them, although avoiding the slippery patch._

_She slowly looked up at his standing height. And she was praying it was dark enough they couldn't see her blush._

_With a quiet sigh that she only caught because she was this close, Heero carefully moved to shake his hand free of hers. She hadn't even realized that she was still clinging to it for dear life._

_But before she could figure out which way to move to get out of this mess, he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and actually pulled her down so that they were both flat on the concrete._

"_Dismissed."_

_It was the same commanding tone he always used, and Del obviously decided not to object before the confused comment came out. "Yes, Sir," he said instead, followed by a distinct snicker. "You two don't freeze out here now," he mothered as he turned and began shooing the other two up the steps to the front door._

_Relena finally just burst out laughing. What else could she do? _

_Heero protectively wrapped both of his arms around her tightly and even moved her wayward coat a little to cover her better. "Are you all right?"_

_It was sweet that he was worried. "I'm fine. Just not my most shining moment."_

"_Hn."_

"_You weren't supposed to agree with me."_

_There was a noncommittal hum to that. _

_She chuckled at him and buried her face against his chest, trying wishing this away. "Sorry."_

_One of his hands smoothed over her hair and tenderly brushed it back from her face. They heard the front door shut and she realized that it was still very cold here. She didn't get the chance to suggest he allow her to regain her dignity she felt him softly move his face to rest against the top of her head. "I love you."_

_It was barely even a whisper, but she lie there, studying the patterns her breath was making. "I love you too," she whispered back in much the same way. But quickly a smile tugged at her lips, and once again she let out a laugh and curled against him tighter. "I love you too," she repeated for good measure._

No matter what, he never really lost that intensity. Even when he whispered the sweetest words to her that he could ever say. Even when his touch was gentle and his expression tender. And even when he was asleep.

She tried to keep her eyes on the datapad in case staring at him would wake him by itself. But it was difficult.

He had every right to nod off. It was just that it had never happened before. Out of all of their travels and the hectic schedule she had dozed off a number of times in front of him. But she'd always woken to find him working quietly on something. She had marveled at how he did it more than once. But perhaps this was a safe enough location and time that he didn't mind letting himself drift off.

Almost giddily Relena just found that so cute. Pushing herself back into her work, she happily continued on.

She had double checked almost everything by the time she noticed his eyes slowly open. He didn't make a move or a sound different; she just caught the subtle movement from the corner of her eye.

No, that intensity never left him. That indefinable presence he always had no matter the situation. With a smirk, she reasoned that that was what had first drawn her to him. She supposed it was nice to know that it never changed.

"Good morning," she smiled, still flipping through items on her datapad.

For a second he didn't respond, but it didn't seem that she'd startled him at all. She heard him softly take a deep breath before he closed his eyes again. "You ate my toast."

Stunned she glanced at the empty serving tray that sat beside her and above his head, completely out of his line-of-sight. "How…?"

* * *

"I imagine you're happy to have it over," her mother suggested as they helped to clear the dinner dishes. 

"Very much," Relena agreed. Tucked in the kitchen by themselves, she puffed out a sigh. "Are elections always this much work?"

"They can be worse," her mother advised.

"I'll take my victory then," she chuckled. Tossing the rest of the dishes in the washer, she turned and gazed out at the slowly disappearing sunset. It was always so much more peaceful here these days.

She'd never really noticed it when this was just home. That was probably typical. You never really appreciate things until you're forced to leave it behind. But this progression, this step-by-step walk that she called a life gave her little time to think back and compare notes.

It was nice now and then. Just to stand here and pretend things were as simple as they were four years ago. If that was selfish, she didn't mind. She'd take the opportunities she got to look back and see what she'd done, and how she'd changed.

"Congratulations."

She turned and blinked at her mother in surprise as she pulled a tea cup out of the cupboard. With a smile, she nodded. "Thanks," she chirped cheerfully.

"You've earned this position," she continued. Not really looking at her, she filled a small tea kettle and set it on the burner. "It is not an easy thing to gain the trust of so many." Turning towards her, she gave her a warm smile. Softly she reached over and brushed her bangs out of her eyes, her hand coming to rest on her cheek. "I'd expect no less from his daughter."

"Oh, Mother." Relena hugged her around her shoulders tightly.

Which of her fathers she meant, Relena didn't need to ask. She was hopeful that her mother had meant both of them.

* * *

Melton Pearl pursed his lips as he stopped in front of the TV for a second and read through the poll results listed. "Hum… I think we lost," he mumbled and then continued on. 

Rich sat on the couch and watched his uncle walk off before he rolled his eyes.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, boy."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

No one was paying much attention to the election results as they updated on the television screen every eighteen minutes. It didn't seem to be the reason they were here, yet it was apparently appropriate to have the media think they were holdup in the Darlian estate to see the results come in. 

What difference that made to the press, Heero didn't know. It had been an excuse to come back again, and Relena had taken it.

He didn't mind. She was always far more at ease here than she was anywhere else. Relena sat with Alli, Ry and her mother as they alternated playing a card game of some sort on the other side of the library. And it appeared her mother was winning.

"Gin."

"No!"

"Already?"

Delano was reading in a corner chair, and glanced up to catch the poll figures now and then. Heero had a set of files to look through for a case he was assisting on. Since he had recently finished his college replacement courses, he had requested additional assist case files to work on. They usually seemed straightforward enough. And with the prospect of more time spend on world and in office, Commander Une had hinted that he would be utilized better.

Relena paced by him and flopped down on the couch beside him, taking one of the pillows and holding it in her lap. "Are we still winning?"

"Hn," he nodded.

"I'm going to feel bad for the Pearls if they don't get a few more votes," Delano added as he flipped a page.

"I'm sure they'll get over it," she waved it off with a chuckle. She settled in to watch for a while, and Heero turned to look over at her. Catching his eyes she gave him a warm smile, "I guess it's over."

"For now."

With a knowing smile, she nodded to that. Turning back to the results she hummed to herself, "Let's see who else I'm going to be dealing with."

Nothing ever really ended. One situation progressed to another. An experience in one time or place would repeat itself in another. Nothing learned was ever really lost. And as she settled back and tucked her feet under her, he was sure she knew that.

Relena Darlian had never given up on anything she believed in. Peace, pacifism, humanity, Mars, any of it. With an interior smile to himself he watched the numbers for a moment as well. And that had always included him.

No, this wasn't the end of anything.

* * *

"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all." – Emmet Fox 

"Realizations" Finished March, 08.

AN: Yes, you read that correctly. For all of the devoted readers that have stuck with these two beloved characters so long, I've always said that I would persevere and grant you an ending. But of course, by our very nature as fan-fiction readers and writers, stories never really end, do they?

My sincere thanks to those who read through these works. I can not tell you how much I have enjoyed this, and how much I adore being able to hear what you think. This all started off as a new experience for me. Those I met along the way became inspiration (conspirators), incentive (by death-threat), and friends (who still won't lend me money). My deepest thanks for everything you have provided me. This story would never have been the same without the input I received all along. (Feel free to pat yourselves on the back.)

For those of you that are still reading Revelations too, I will be continuing on with that exclusively. And there's no telling if more hints about this feature couple won't pop up in there. I will also be doing some much needed editing on all of the posted chapters of this trilogy, since many of you were so kind to offer me your assistance (and I don't pay well).

In closing, dear reader, thank you for listening to my creative ramblings, forgive me my grammar mistakes, and most of all, God bless!

Isis

"I have never written a thing; I have only been privileged to be able to read a few things before anyone else."


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